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Women Break Down The Weirdest DMs They've Ever Gotten From A Guy Online

In case you haven't figured it out yet, women have notably different life experiences from men. For example, women regularly experience toxic abuse online, so much, in fact, that it's received harsh condemnation from Amnesty International. And even when women aren't facing outright abuse or harassment, they're receiving any manner of strange messages that run the gamut from weird to creepy to sexual.

After Redditor Nopefeelins asked the online community, "Ladies of reddit, what was the weirdest DM you ever got from a guy?" the stories came flooding in.


"That he loved..."

That he loved my fair skin and the fact I looked FERTILE. I was also like 15.

alotofpisces

"Until he messaged me..."

Oooh, lemme think...

I was in an online DnD group, and the only female, as well as the youngest. I was fourteen, and the oldest player, who was 27, would regularly flirt with me while we played but I let it pass (and even was flattered by it) because it was in character.

Until he messaged me saying how he would stare at the only picture I'd ever sent the group (which was of my dice, and featured some of my hand) and that he wished I could be his pet.

Yeah,, blocked and left the group. Apologized to the DM, though.

cherrypastel

"I'm serious here."

"Will you please mail me a box of your toenail clippings. I would be honored to chew them." I'm serious here.

chirpfox

"It's like the two most annoying..."

He wrote out how he saw our entire future together, including meeting each other's families, moving in together, getting married, buying a goat, getting pregnant, having a miscarriage, nearly divorcing, then mending the relationship and growing old together. Then he asked if I would consider going on this life journey with him. I would not. I blocked him immediately

itaint2009

"A guy sent me a video..."

A guy sent me a video of him spreading his butt cheeks. Every time I blocked him, he would make a new account and do it again. It's happened 3 times. Don't know who he is and doesn't show his face. But I'd know his @ss when I see it.

vivi4200

"One day I got a text..."

Met one in college. He seemed normal at the time although we rarely talked. Had literally one class together.

He friend requested me on Facebook and I accepted. Soon after he asked me out on Facebook and I rejected him. He started starring at me in the one class we had together and followed me around a lot.

One day I got a text from my mom telling me I should check my Facebook. I maybe looked at it once a day at the time.


He had commented on every single post I made, every picture, anything on my wall. Literally everything he could. Every comment was different too, but all some variation of how I'm a slut. How all I'm good for is to please a man and produce his offspring... if he finds me worthy.

He planned it out well I think I because the semester ended the week before. Which was good for me I guess, didn't have to see him anymore.

I blocked him then deleted my Facebook. I was rarely using it anyway. He put so much effort into those comments, hundreds of them. Just weird.

ZanderBramble

"One of those dms..."

One of those dms that was describing a scenario, but straight off the bat. No hello, how's it going, just...

'I unlock the door. You're standing by the stairs, looking angry. "What time do you call this! Your dinner is in the trash!' you shout. I put down my keys and stride towards you. I grab you by the hair and lead you upstairs. I lay you down and take off your pantyhose. You giggle as you let out a pungent fart. It fills my nostrils and...'

I have never blocked anyone so damn fast.

ACakeCalledDenial

"This guy was obsessed..."

This guy was obsessed with me in highschool (he was extremely antisocial, ran like Naruto in the hallways and cut himself with scissors during class). I hung out with him one time during math class and the next day he gave me a matching bff necklace. He gave me the creeps and made me uncomfortable so I avoided him in school. He still kept talking to me everyday on Facebook for months. The last time we talked was when he told me that his abusive cousin/girlfriend got pregnant and they're planning to name the kid after me. I blocked him real quick after that.

cinderelladrinksmilk

"I played a browser game..."

I played a browser game for a while called Ikariam. The pirate group I joined somehow believed I was a girl because they misinterpreted something I wrote and I just didn't care to correct them, as it's the sort of thing that shouldn't matter in a game that's 100% anonymous.

Basically no one cared except this one guy who would constantly send me messages, and I never interacted with him really (maybe a 1 word or sometimes 1 sentence answer) which progressed from him thinking I'm awesome to him falling in love with me or some crap. Because I was a "girl" who knew about computer programming and math.

Aazadan

"I told him that made me..."

This dude who told me he was going to block me. The reason for that was because he was calling me hot and I already don't respond well to compliments like that. I told him that made me uncomfortable and he started throwing a tantrum I guess, and I was eventually blocked.

1Name-Goes-Here

"Then I had the bright idea..."

"You like your neck strangled?"

Then I had the bright idea of trolling him a little and he ended up asking me for neck pics, and asked me some pretty dark questions. Much of his instagram feed had to do with asphyxiation. It was pretty mortifying.

elogika

"Needless to say..."

Not a DM per se but definitely the weirdest thing a dude ever dropped on me.

I used to work at eBays call center and would talk to a lot of different sellers on the site. I had one seller would call in and request to talk to me all the time. It started of harmless enough. He just sounded like an older dude who didn't understand computers.

I was newer and hadn't lost my patience with old people who don't understand how technology works so I thought that was the reason he wanted to talk with me.

Then one day I got an email from him. It started off harmless. Someone new to eBay had given him my work email, he had a quick question and was hoping I could help. Then he asked me if I would be willing to pose naked covered in cereal for him and he would pay me. He also said I could pick the cereal if I wanted to.

Needless to say I did not respond to that email and had to have a very awkward conversation with my boss. All the calls we had were gone through to prove I didn't to anything wrong, and eventually the guys eBay account was pulled and that was the last I heard from him.

HiImMoonPie

"After months of not talking to me..."

My ex. After months of not talking to me, he adds me as a friend then messages me some sappy sh!t like "I've been dating other girls they remind me of you but then i realized i only want you" Then proceeded to tell me he has a fleshlight and it reminds him of me. That day i learned that you can rekindle relationships/friendships but you disrespect yourself if its rekindled with someone who has humiliated you or disrespected you in anyway.

Oopsiedoopsieuwu

"Was offered..."

Was offered $200 to send a video of me spreading peanut butter on my feet... Poor college me was thrilled.

RunninAroundKitties

"It was so incredibly polite..."

If I'd mind terribly sending him pictures of my toilet bowl contents next time I had a bowel movement. It was so incredibly polite I almost felt bad for declining.

chellis8210

"Erotic fiction..."

"Erotic fiction" where he is a son fantasizing about his mother, hoping she was pleasing herself to him.

Similar invitations to erotic fantasy arrive daily on Reddit. Yeah, I realize this is a risk I take on the subs where I post. I mostly sigh, block and think "poor dear really needs a playmate."

egflynn

"The guy who started talking to me..."

The guy who started talking to me on POF and was offended that I didn't want to be in his poly relationship because clearly, because I was bisexual, I should be cool with dating both at the same time.

(For the record I am 100% with poly people, just not my cup of tea).

Quothhernevermore

"I want you to..."

"I want you to put your virginity in a box and give it to me."

I don't even know what that means.

mokshmoon

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Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less
wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!