Women find men to be fascinating and baffling creatures. There's probably not a woman in the world who hasn't looked at a man as if he was an alien species.
There are just things we see men do that are ... confusing to tons of women. Let's just say the average woman does things a little bit differently, particularly when it comes to friendship. For example, if you were to ask my ex who his best friend was, he would spit out the name of a person I never met and only spoke to once in the entire 12 years we were together. I don't doubt that they considered one another besties, but how? They never spoke! It wasn't just that Mike never came around, it was that they didn't talk, text, message, email, snail-mail, send smoke signals, hire sky writers, send telegrams, nada!
One Reddit user asked:
Women, what do you find most confusing about men?
Spoiler Alert: Yeah, none of the women here understand male friendships either. Or how men wear skinny jeans - but don't worry. Men were actually decently happy to respond! Enjoy some of the more popular responses - edited for language or clarity where needed.
Basic Info?
How little they know about their friends. My husband was friends with a guy for years and didn't know how old he was.
That type of stuff isn't a priority to us. We use different criteria to assess the quality of friendships.
Does he drink more, less, or the same as me? Does he earn more, less, or the same as me? Does he live nearby or work with me, so I can see him often enough without having to make special plans? Which sports does he watch, and who are his teams? Do we have similar hobbies to talk about?
That's probably 95% of it. We see no point in discussing favorite colors or favorite foods or hometowns or last names.
The Mechanics of Skinny Jeans
When you guys wear skinny jeans...where the does your junk go? Like, not sexually but as a concerned person... Does that get tucked or something? Wouldn't that hurt when you take off your jeans at the end of the day?
Depends on the guy. Most guys just have it kinda scrunched up on one side, but it's difficult to tell since skinny jeans have a surprising amount of crotch space.
Flaccid penises are really flexible; they can get into all sort of crazy positions without any harm. Just scrunching it up while putting on your pants is enough for most guys.
The real issue is the testes. Can't have pressure on those or else it hurts. Skinny jeans leave room for testes, which in turn leaves plenty of room for the penis.
- Xechwill
It's Not There
Giphy
How I can tell my husband where something is, and he can look right at it and say (with certainty), "it's not there."
Our vision is motion based. That's why women have so many jiggly parts.
- xubax
Fighting And Friendship
That guys can go from fighting and beating each other up to suddenly being back to friends, are you guys really friends? is it just taking frustration out on each other? what is it and how?
- freinlk
Two things:
1. Yes, usually its just pent up frustration/anger and once its dealt with things go back to normal.
2. It's very, very easy for guys to become and remain friends. If we share just one common interest we'll get along just fine.
Dave
Why is it that if I send you a message that has 3+ parts, you only respond to the least important or immediately relevant part?
If I'm like "Hey I saw our mutual friend while running errands. Let me know what you want for dinner I'm about to go pick it up. And did you take out the trash?" I get a response that says "Oh yeah Dave haven't seen him in a while."
We respond to the part that's important or interesting to us in a lot of cases. Generally, whatever she wants to eat is fine. Discussing the trash over text is pretty uninteresting, so pass on that.
But Dave? It's been a while! How's he?
180
Why some of the guys I know turn in completely different people when around their friends. I've seen women do it as well but never that big of a 180 as the men I know.
Essentially, men try to fit in with each other. We take in a situation and generally conform into one attitude because that's the norm for that specific group. most guys don't want to be seen as weird/different.
Admitting Defeat
Why they will throw their clothing on the floor next to the hamper when there is a perfectly good hamper right next to them. Baffling.
- katgib13
Because I want to wear it again later. If it goes into the hamper I've admitted defeat and will have to wash them sooner.
It's All Good?
What is up with having friends that give you sh*t and attitude and it's all good? It's like you all like to torment each other and laugh about it! (Not all men just the ones I know)
Ripping on each other is how our caveman brains are satisfied since we can't just beat each other up to establish group hierarchy.
- SPZX
That Greasy Feeling? You Mean Moisture?
Giphy
What's the deal with guys not wanting to use lotion or chapstick? Every guy I've dated thus far has denied my offer for lotion or chapstick when they complain about having chapped lips and dry skin.
I can deal with chapstick, but I have to wipe off the excess with a napkin/tissue immediately after applying. Lotion I absolutely won't use, hate my hands feeling like that. I can't handle the greasy feeling.
How Long Does It Actually Take?
Why does it take you so long to poop?
Do you not have enough fiber in your diet? Are man poops unfathomably large to a woman and just take so much effort to pass? Maybe you're just sitting there playing on your phone?
Most men I've met spend at least half an hour each time pooping. If a woman spent a half an hour on the toilet, you'd be worried she passed out in there or something.
Because it's another world. You get to be alone, no one telling you to do things or asking you questions. It's our safe space :)
"Nothing"
I haven't noticed this with girls but I have noticed that my husband will just like stare out into space with severe concentration and I'll be like "what's wrong babe?" and he will say something like "if all of our pets attacked me at once do you think I could fight them off?".
I've seen other guys do this too, it's just so fascinating.
(We have a medium pit mix, a small chihuahua mix, two ferrets and a hamster. So the answer was probably yes, unless he was asleep then maybe the medium dog could best him)
Lmao. He simply spoke the thoughts out loud that others cover up with "nothing."
- DrZeroH
Constant Competition
Why the constant need to have (metaphorical) 'dick measuring contests'
I was an aviation mechanic in the Marines for 5 years. I worked in a shop that averaged 25-30ish guys, while I was one of the only of 1-2 (at most 3) girls that were there. 75% of the non-work-related conversation was just them constantly comparing the most irrelevant things just to one-up each other. Not in a hostile way, just in very a 'bro' way.
Marine 1: "I ran faster than you this morning"
Marine 2: "yeah well I packed more life preservers than you and did it faster" (we worked on aviation safety equipment for helicopters)
Marine 3, from across the room not even in the conversation: "pssh, I can do more pull-ups than both of you combined"
NONE of those things have any thing to do with the other. How do you feel satisfied making these completely unrelated comparisons??
I mean I knew guys did this, I just could not believe how much/constant it happened and how irrelevant the comparisons were. so silly.
The Cupboard
Why are you unable to close cupboard doors?
Just gonna have to open it up again when I want something out!
Same Pants
How lazy can you be? My fiance can literally wear the same pants/ underpants for DAYS! Don't you feel at least uncomfortable?
It's not lazy it's being eco concious. Less changes of clothes equals less laundry equals less water used it's a no brainer 🤷♂️
Counseling
Unwillingness to go to counselling when there is a huge problem to the point of letting their counterpart suffer and or relationship breakdown - like if you love them be willing to work on stuff, don't just refuse because you don't want to do it / don't know what to expect ect / sole other stigma around counselling or self help in general / they don't see the problem themselves so don't think they need to even though they've been asked to go
I have way too many girlfriends stuck in difficult situations with men refusing to go to various therapy options available to them
I guess most men fear (rightly or not) that counselling is only being used by the woman to stock up on ammunition, or that they get reamed by their wife in front of a stranger, who also weighs in on that. And even if the counselor is really neutral, every argument would now cite the counselor as ultimate authority that, of course, assigns all blame to the man.
Probably not very rational, but i have to admit it would take A LOT to convince me to go to a counselor.
Put this into context though, a lot of men are brought up with this concept of 'boys don't cry' and that it's 'unmanly' to seek help. So there is a real stigma for a lot of men around seeking therapy/professional help and for showing vulnerability around mental illness.
Cleaning Help
Why do I have to clean with you every time you pick up a broom? I don't make you help me every single time!
If he did it alone, would you criticize the job he did?
- ItsMeTK
Too Cool
When you're starting to date a woman and you're actually attracted to her... why do some men try to downplay their actions or try to write something off for something else to "play it cool?" Some men do this up to an extent where it just becomes "too much" and it actually results in hurting the other party versus whatever their initial intent was.
We are currently voting on the correct amount of coolness to apply to women. So far we are having an issue since not all women are the same. We will let you know when the voting is done.
Friend's Opinions
When you tell him something and he downplays it or brushes it off. Then one of his friends says the same thing and he suddenly agrees with it. This happened all the time with my ex.
Your ex didnt care all that much about you, that's why.
- TCFi
Ghost
When a guy flirts with you, clearly interested, but "ghosts" you the next time you try talking to him. It confuses me very much, and it's happened to me before.
- x_joii
We're shy and probably thought of a reason why it wouldn't work.
Procrastination
They put everything off... from the simple tasks to the "absolutely has to get done ASAP". Like just go do it!
See though. The thing is usually it doesnt need to be done asap. And we almost always get it done regardless. Yes there are times that we wait to ling and it does work or we fail it or whatever, but 95% of the time it's fine.
I'm best when I'm at my laziest. Ok, that's a lie, but I don't care.
Zzzz...
Donald Duck Sleeping GIFGiphy"On weekends I sleep for 12-14 hours. I usually wake up a few times but I dream so much during those long sleeps that it’s basically become a recreation type thing and I love it."
HouseOfZenith
Warm it up...
"When I use the microwave, I’ll heat food for 1:11 or 2:22 because I can’t be bothered to move my lazy fingers."
fysicks
"I figured out that my microwave's turntable rotates once every 12 seconds. So, everything I cook is on a multiple of 12 seconds so that it always ends up at the front of the microwave when it's done cooking, and I don't have to reach all the way to the back of the microwave to get my food out."
unittwentyfive
Bang
"When I was a kid on a school day, I had this routine where I'd stick my legs out of the bed and bang around on the floor so it sounded like I got out of bed and then just lie there for a few more minutes."
bewarethechameleon
"Did you also get your toothbrush wet and squirt a wee bit of toothpaste in your mouth rather than actually brush your teeth? If so I may be your mom and you weren’t fooling me or the dentist and you sure weren’t fooling the plaque that attacked."
TigerLily98226
Pockets
"Whenever I clean the house I put on my housecoat with really big pockets. I just walk from room to room and put things in my pocket that don’t belong in that room. Once my pockets are full I go to each room and empty my pockets putting what is from each room in that room."
kindhearttbc
"That's not lazy... that's productive AF."
throwaway92715
Toss It
Pippi Longstocking Chaos GIF by ZDFGiphy"I don’t fold the fitted sheet. Just ball it up and place it in the closet."
SpaghettiSquash33
I just see people human. Don't he so hard on yourselves.
12 Hours
Tired Fight Club GIFGiphy"I once watched 12 hours of the golf Network because the batteries were dead in my remote control. I don't know if that's lazy or depressed."
sadbirdfox
I swear I was...
"I was taught to make a bed properly as a child, I swear I was. Hospital corners and everything. I even know how to fold a fitted sheet, thanks to my auntie, who's an Air Force nurse and therefore doesn't consider little problems like 'non-Euclidean geometry' to be a reason not to do it properly. The second I found out about duvet covers, that was over. Sure, it doesn't look as tidy, but five minutes a week plus 10 seconds in the morning instead of 10 minutes a day? I can live with that."
katie-kaboom
The System
"I don't fold laundry anymore. I have a system of laundry baskets like this where clothes gets sorted by type (pants, t-shirts, sweaters, etc). Most of my clothes is wrinkle free, and for the few pieces that aren't I just throw them on a hanger in the bathroom while I take a steamy shower."
User deleted
Genius!!
"Before I get out of bed in the morning, I will grab the top corners of my sheets with my hands and prop up the bottom two with my feet and move it into place. Then I slide out of bed without ruffling anything. Just like that, my bed is made."
Markymark142
"My sister has to do this before she goes to bed at night, even is she made the bed that morning. It's an odd little quirk and mostly harmless."
mel2mdl
Yummy
andrew huang pots GIF by SoundflyGiphy"Just eating food straight out of the pan."
refrshmts_N_narcotcs
None of that sounds so bad. That sounds... like my life. Don't judge!!
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Did you check the forecast?
"We sure are having a lot of weather"- r_Ju_Tacular.
"As a British person, the conversation usually starts like this:"
“'You alright?'"
”Yeah you?”'
“'Yeah not too bad, weathers a bit sh*t innit?'”
“'Yeah”'.
"The end."- chelstippins
Cloud Storm GIF by Weather UndergroundGiphyWhy beat around the bush?
"Straight to politics and religion."- Turd_Ferguson009.
Just let it happen.
"Make an observation."
"Literally anything."It helps if it’s something about them like an article of clothing that catches your eye, something they’re doing, anything that you can relate to or are interested in but it doesn’t have to be."
"It can be something in the environment that is drawing both of your attention."
"People bullsh*t about the weather all the time."
"Make a comment about it, gauge their willingness to talk about it to you and build off of what you get from the response."
"If all you get is 'haha yeah', leave it."
"No shame in silence."
"Some people just don’t want to talk."
I"f you’re talking about the weather, 'Man it’s a great day out today!'"
“'Yeah absolutely! I drove here with my windows down all the way here!'”
"Boom, you’ve got something to latch onto."
"They probably enjoy getting outside for some fresh air. "
"They probably enjoy driving."
"Ask about their car."
"Ask if they go on drives a lot."
"Ask if they do outdoor stuff."
"What kind of outdoor stuff?"
"Once you’ve got something to work with, the key is to ask."
"Let them do the talking."
"People love talking about themselves."
"You learn some light hearted things about the stranger, they feel more comfortable, and you can add bits and bobs of your own experiences in response so they get to know you too."
"It works in literally any situation."
"From an elevator ride to a first date."
"It’s so easy to personalize small talk and it makes it so much less uncomfortable."- 1arrocknroll.
"But enough about me, what do you think about me?"
"Usually people love to talk about themselves, so a few questions about them and some follow up questions to their answers usually does it."- I_can_see_the_music.
For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy"Food, glorious food..."
"Food."
"People typically love food."
"I mention I’m new/newer to an area."
"And ask them what they like, where they eat out."
"Usually works and people have their choices validated and I always know where to find good local snacks."- TheProfWife.
Pluto Flyby GIFCan you believe it?
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"- housemuncher.
Nothing!
"As a Norwegian - we leave strangers alone."
"No need to bother them."- neihuffda.
No Idea Reaction GIF by BounceGiphyThe sky's the limit.
"So, do you like stuff?"- Bwon669.
All of these seem like surefire ways to get a conversation started.
But use cautiously, as who knows how long it will take these conversations to end.
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