Women find men to be fascinating and baffling creatures. There's probably not a woman in the world who hasn't looked at a man as if he was an alien species.
There are just things we see men do that are ... confusing to tons of women. Let's just say the average woman does things a little bit differently, particularly when it comes to friendship. For example, if you were to ask my ex who his best friend was, he would spit out the name of a person I never met and only spoke to once in the entire 12 years we were together. I don't doubt that they considered one another besties, but how? They never spoke! It wasn't just that Mike never came around, it was that they didn't talk, text, message, email, snail-mail, send smoke signals, hire sky writers, send telegrams, nada!
One Reddit user asked:
Women, what do you find most confusing about men?
Spoiler Alert: Yeah, none of the women here understand male friendships either. Or how men wear skinny jeans - but don't worry. Men were actually decently happy to respond! Enjoy some of the more popular responses - edited for language or clarity where needed.
Basic Info?
How little they know about their friends. My husband was friends with a guy for years and didn't know how old he was.
That type of stuff isn't a priority to us. We use different criteria to assess the quality of friendships.
Does he drink more, less, or the same as me? Does he earn more, less, or the same as me? Does he live nearby or work with me, so I can see him often enough without having to make special plans? Which sports does he watch, and who are his teams? Do we have similar hobbies to talk about?
That's probably 95% of it. We see no point in discussing favorite colors or favorite foods or hometowns or last names.
The Mechanics of Skinny Jeans
When you guys wear skinny jeans...where the does your junk go? Like, not sexually but as a concerned person... Does that get tucked or something? Wouldn't that hurt when you take off your jeans at the end of the day?
Depends on the guy. Most guys just have it kinda scrunched up on one side, but it's difficult to tell since skinny jeans have a surprising amount of crotch space.
Flaccid penises are really flexible; they can get into all sort of crazy positions without any harm. Just scrunching it up while putting on your pants is enough for most guys.
The real issue is the testes. Can't have pressure on those or else it hurts. Skinny jeans leave room for testes, which in turn leaves plenty of room for the penis.
- Xechwill
It's Not There
GiphyHow I can tell my husband where something is, and he can look right at it and say (with certainty), "it's not there."
Our vision is motion based. That's why women have so many jiggly parts.
- xubax
Fighting And Friendship
That guys can go from fighting and beating each other up to suddenly being back to friends, are you guys really friends? is it just taking frustration out on each other? what is it and how?
- freinlk
Two things:
1. Yes, usually its just pent up frustration/anger and once its dealt with things go back to normal.
2. It's very, very easy for guys to become and remain friends. If we share just one common interest we'll get along just fine.
Dave
Why is it that if I send you a message that has 3+ parts, you only respond to the least important or immediately relevant part?
If I'm like "Hey I saw our mutual friend while running errands. Let me know what you want for dinner I'm about to go pick it up. And did you take out the trash?" I get a response that says "Oh yeah Dave haven't seen him in a while."
We respond to the part that's important or interesting to us in a lot of cases. Generally, whatever she wants to eat is fine. Discussing the trash over text is pretty uninteresting, so pass on that.
But Dave? It's been a while! How's he?
180
Why some of the guys I know turn in completely different people when around their friends. I've seen women do it as well but never that big of a 180 as the men I know.
Essentially, men try to fit in with each other. We take in a situation and generally conform into one attitude because that's the norm for that specific group. most guys don't want to be seen as weird/different.
Admitting Defeat
Why they will throw their clothing on the floor next to the hamper when there is a perfectly good hamper right next to them. Baffling.
- katgib13
Because I want to wear it again later. If it goes into the hamper I've admitted defeat and will have to wash them sooner.
It's All Good?
What is up with having friends that give you sh*t and attitude and it's all good? It's like you all like to torment each other and laugh about it! (Not all men just the ones I know)
Ripping on each other is how our caveman brains are satisfied since we can't just beat each other up to establish group hierarchy.
- SPZX
That Greasy Feeling? You Mean Moisture?
GiphyWhat's the deal with guys not wanting to use lotion or chapstick? Every guy I've dated thus far has denied my offer for lotion or chapstick when they complain about having chapped lips and dry skin.
I can deal with chapstick, but I have to wipe off the excess with a napkin/tissue immediately after applying. Lotion I absolutely won't use, hate my hands feeling like that. I can't handle the greasy feeling.
How Long Does It Actually Take?
Why does it take you so long to poop?
Do you not have enough fiber in your diet? Are man poops unfathomably large to a woman and just take so much effort to pass? Maybe you're just sitting there playing on your phone?
Most men I've met spend at least half an hour each time pooping. If a woman spent a half an hour on the toilet, you'd be worried she passed out in there or something.
Because it's another world. You get to be alone, no one telling you to do things or asking you questions. It's our safe space :)
"Nothing"
I haven't noticed this with girls but I have noticed that my husband will just like stare out into space with severe concentration and I'll be like "what's wrong babe?" and he will say something like "if all of our pets attacked me at once do you think I could fight them off?".
I've seen other guys do this too, it's just so fascinating.
(We have a medium pit mix, a small chihuahua mix, two ferrets and a hamster. So the answer was probably yes, unless he was asleep then maybe the medium dog could best him)
Lmao. He simply spoke the thoughts out loud that others cover up with "nothing."
- DrZeroH
Constant Competition
Why the constant need to have (metaphorical) 'dick measuring contests'
I was an aviation mechanic in the Marines for 5 years. I worked in a shop that averaged 25-30ish guys, while I was one of the only of 1-2 (at most 3) girls that were there. 75% of the non-work-related conversation was just them constantly comparing the most irrelevant things just to one-up each other. Not in a hostile way, just in very a 'bro' way.
Marine 1: "I ran faster than you this morning"
Marine 2: "yeah well I packed more life preservers than you and did it faster" (we worked on aviation safety equipment for helicopters)
Marine 3, from across the room not even in the conversation: "pssh, I can do more pull-ups than both of you combined"
NONE of those things have any thing to do with the other. How do you feel satisfied making these completely unrelated comparisons??
I mean I knew guys did this, I just could not believe how much/constant it happened and how irrelevant the comparisons were. so silly.
The Cupboard
Why are you unable to close cupboard doors?
Just gonna have to open it up again when I want something out!
Same Pants
How lazy can you be? My fiance can literally wear the same pants/ underpants for DAYS! Don't you feel at least uncomfortable?
It's not lazy it's being eco concious. Less changes of clothes equals less laundry equals less water used it's a no brainer 🤷♂️
Counseling
Unwillingness to go to counselling when there is a huge problem to the point of letting their counterpart suffer and or relationship breakdown - like if you love them be willing to work on stuff, don't just refuse because you don't want to do it / don't know what to expect ect / sole other stigma around counselling or self help in general / they don't see the problem themselves so don't think they need to even though they've been asked to go
I have way too many girlfriends stuck in difficult situations with men refusing to go to various therapy options available to them
I guess most men fear (rightly or not) that counselling is only being used by the woman to stock up on ammunition, or that they get reamed by their wife in front of a stranger, who also weighs in on that. And even if the counselor is really neutral, every argument would now cite the counselor as ultimate authority that, of course, assigns all blame to the man.
Probably not very rational, but i have to admit it would take A LOT to convince me to go to a counselor.
Put this into context though, a lot of men are brought up with this concept of 'boys don't cry' and that it's 'unmanly' to seek help. So there is a real stigma for a lot of men around seeking therapy/professional help and for showing vulnerability around mental illness.
Cleaning Help
Why do I have to clean with you every time you pick up a broom? I don't make you help me every single time!
If he did it alone, would you criticize the job he did?
- ItsMeTK
Too Cool
When you're starting to date a woman and you're actually attracted to her... why do some men try to downplay their actions or try to write something off for something else to "play it cool?" Some men do this up to an extent where it just becomes "too much" and it actually results in hurting the other party versus whatever their initial intent was.
We are currently voting on the correct amount of coolness to apply to women. So far we are having an issue since not all women are the same. We will let you know when the voting is done.
Friend's Opinions
When you tell him something and he downplays it or brushes it off. Then one of his friends says the same thing and he suddenly agrees with it. This happened all the time with my ex.
Your ex didnt care all that much about you, that's why.
- TCFi
Ghost
When a guy flirts with you, clearly interested, but "ghosts" you the next time you try talking to him. It confuses me very much, and it's happened to me before.
- x_joii
We're shy and probably thought of a reason why it wouldn't work.
Procrastination
They put everything off... from the simple tasks to the "absolutely has to get done ASAP". Like just go do it!
See though. The thing is usually it doesnt need to be done asap. And we almost always get it done regardless. Yes there are times that we wait to ling and it does work or we fail it or whatever, but 95% of the time it's fine.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.