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Women find men to be fascinating and baffling creatures. There's probably not a woman in the world who hasn't looked at a man as if he was an alien species.



There are just things we see men do that are ... confusing to tons of women. Let's just say the average woman does things a little bit differently, particularly when it comes to friendship. For example, if you were to ask my ex who his best friend was, he would spit out the name of a person I never met and only spoke to once in the entire 12 years we were together. I don't doubt that they considered one another besties, but how? They never spoke! It wasn't just that Mike never came around, it was that they didn't talk, text, message, email, snail-mail, send smoke signals, hire sky writers, send telegrams, nada!

One Reddit user asked:

Women, what do you find most confusing about men?

Spoiler Alert: Yeah, none of the women here understand male friendships either. Or how men wear skinny jeans - but don't worry. Men were actually decently happy to respond! Enjoy some of the more popular responses - edited for language or clarity where needed.

Basic Info? 

How little they know about their friends. My husband was friends with a guy for years and didn't know how old he was.

- subjectivism


That type of stuff isn't a priority to us. We use different criteria to assess the quality of friendships.

Does he drink more, less, or the same as me? Does he earn more, less, or the same as me? Does he live nearby or work with me, so I can see him often enough without having to make special plans? Which sports does he watch, and who are his teams? Do we have similar hobbies to talk about?

That's probably 95% of it. We see no point in discussing favorite colors or favorite foods or hometowns or last names.

- Story-Checks-Out

The Mechanics of Skinny Jeans

When you guys wear skinny jeans...where the does your junk go? Like, not sexually but as a concerned person... Does that get tucked or something? Wouldn't that hurt when you take off your jeans at the end of the day?

- ReginaSerpentium


Depends on the guy. Most guys just have it kinda scrunched up on one side, but it's difficult to tell since skinny jeans have a surprising amount of crotch space.

Flaccid penises are really flexible; they can get into all sort of crazy positions without any harm. Just scrunching it up while putting on your pants is enough for most guys.

The real issue is the testes. Can't have pressure on those or else it hurts. Skinny jeans leave room for testes, which in turn leaves plenty of room for the penis.

- Xechwill

It's Not There

Giphy

How I can tell my husband where something is, and he can look right at it and say (with certainty), "it's not there."

- CautiousShower


Our vision is motion based. That's why women have so many jiggly parts.

- xubax

Fighting And Friendship

That guys can go from fighting and beating each other up to suddenly being back to friends, are you guys really friends? is it just taking frustration out on each other? what is it and how?

- freinlk


Two things:
1. Yes, usually its just pent up frustration/anger and once its dealt with things go back to normal.

2. It's very, very easy for guys to become and remain friends. If we share just one common interest we'll get along just fine.

- Lightning_Pickle

Dave

Why is it that if I send you a message that has 3+ parts, you only respond to the least important or immediately relevant part?

If I'm like "Hey I saw our mutual friend while running errands. Let me know what you want for dinner I'm about to go pick it up. And did you take out the trash?" I get a response that says "Oh yeah Dave haven't seen him in a while."

- SoleiVale


We respond to the part that's important or interesting to us in a lot of cases. Generally, whatever she wants to eat is fine. Discussing the trash over text is pretty uninteresting, so pass on that.

But Dave? It's been a while! How's he?

- Diablo165

180

Why some of the guys I know turn in completely different people when around their friends. I've seen women do it as well but never that big of a 180 as the men I know.

- Da_potato_queen9976


Essentially, men try to fit in with each other. We take in a situation and generally conform into one attitude because that's the norm for that specific group. most guys don't want to be seen as weird/different.

- Tyrania210

Admitting Defeat

Why they will throw their clothing on the floor next to the hamper when there is a perfectly good hamper right next to them. Baffling.

- katgib13


Because I want to wear it again later. If it goes into the hamper I've admitted defeat and will have to wash them sooner.

- Relevant_Scrubs_link

It's All Good? 

What is up with having friends that give you sh*t and attitude and it's all good? It's like you all like to torment each other and laugh about it! (Not all men just the ones I know)

- Sin_the_Insane


Ripping on each other is how our caveman brains are satisfied since we can't just beat each other up to establish group hierarchy.

- SPZX

That Greasy Feeling? You Mean Moisture?

Giphy

What's the deal with guys not wanting to use lotion or chapstick? Every guy I've dated thus far has denied my offer for lotion or chapstick when they complain about having chapped lips and dry skin.

- fingergunmcgee04


I can deal with chapstick, but I have to wipe off the excess with a napkin/tissue immediately after applying. Lotion I absolutely won't use, hate my hands feeling like that. I can't handle the greasy feeling.

- alibaba618

How Long Does It Actually Take? 

Why does it take you so long to poop?

Do you not have enough fiber in your diet? Are man poops unfathomably large to a woman and just take so much effort to pass? Maybe you're just sitting there playing on your phone?

Most men I've met spend at least half an hour each time pooping. If a woman spent a half an hour on the toilet, you'd be worried she passed out in there or something.

- liberty285code6


Because it's another world. You get to be alone, no one telling you to do things or asking you questions. It's our safe space :)

- Spartan_J105

"Nothing" 

I haven't noticed this with girls but I have noticed that my husband will just like stare out into space with severe concentration and I'll be like "what's wrong babe?" and he will say something like "if all of our pets attacked me at once do you think I could fight them off?".

I've seen other guys do this too, it's just so fascinating.

(We have a medium pit mix, a small chihuahua mix, two ferrets and a hamster. So the answer was probably yes, unless he was asleep then maybe the medium dog could best him)

- peachy-bunnyy


Lmao. He simply spoke the thoughts out loud that others cover up with "nothing."

- DrZeroH

Constant Competition

Why the constant need to have (metaphorical) 'dick measuring contests'

I was an aviation mechanic in the Marines for 5 years. I worked in a shop that averaged 25-30ish guys, while I was one of the only of 1-2 (at most 3) girls that were there. 75% of the non-work-related conversation was just them constantly comparing the most irrelevant things just to one-up each other. Not in a hostile way, just in very a 'bro' way.

Marine 1: "I ran faster than you this morning"

Marine 2: "yeah well I packed more life preservers than you and did it faster" (we worked on aviation safety equipment for helicopters)

Marine 3, from across the room not even in the conversation: "pssh, I can do more pull-ups than both of you combined"

NONE of those things have any thing to do with the other. How do you feel satisfied making these completely unrelated comparisons??

I mean I knew guys did this, I just could not believe how much/constant it happened and how irrelevant the comparisons were. so silly.

- DecentRabbit


The Cupboard

Why are you unable to close cupboard doors?

- onesecondofinsanity


Just gonna have to open it up again when I want something out!

- Fire_Mission

Same Pants

How lazy can you be? My fiance can literally wear the same pants/ underpants for DAYS! Don't you feel at least uncomfortable?

- thewitches


It's not lazy it's being eco concious. Less changes of clothes equals less laundry equals less water used it's a no brainer 🤷♂️

- JoeSchmoe800

Counseling

Unwillingness to go to counselling when there is a huge problem to the point of letting their counterpart suffer and or relationship breakdown - like if you love them be willing to work on stuff, don't just refuse because you don't want to do it / don't know what to expect ect / sole other stigma around counselling or self help in general / they don't see the problem themselves so don't think they need to even though they've been asked to go

I have way too many girlfriends stuck in difficult situations with men refusing to go to various therapy options available to them

- pinksultana


I guess most men fear (rightly or not) that counselling is only being used by the woman to stock up on ammunition, or that they get reamed by their wife in front of a stranger, who also weighs in on that. And even if the counselor is really neutral, every argument would now cite the counselor as ultimate authority that, of course, assigns all blame to the man.

Probably not very rational, but i have to admit it would take A LOT to convince me to go to a counselor.

- NanoChainedChromium

Put this into context though, a lot of men are brought up with this concept of 'boys don't cry' and that it's 'unmanly' to seek help. So there is a real stigma for a lot of men around seeking therapy/professional help and for showing vulnerability around mental illness.

- RiseofBubblez

Cleaning Help

Why do I have to clean with you every time you pick up a broom? I don't make you help me every single time!

- Imtheworst1161


If he did it alone, would you criticize the job he did?

- ItsMeTK

Too Cool 

When you're starting to date a woman and you're actually attracted to her... why do some men try to downplay their actions or try to write something off for something else to "play it cool?" Some men do this up to an extent where it just becomes "too much" and it actually results in hurting the other party versus whatever their initial intent was.

- itsaugustagain2015


We are currently voting on the correct amount of coolness to apply to women. So far we are having an issue since not all women are the same. We will let you know when the voting is done.

- SamsAdvice

Friend's Opinions

When you tell him something and he downplays it or brushes it off. Then one of his friends says the same thing and he suddenly agrees with it. This happened all the time with my ex.

- N7Quarian


Your ex didnt care all that much about you, that's why.

- TCFi

Ghost

When a guy flirts with you, clearly interested, but "ghosts" you the next time you try talking to him. It confuses me very much, and it's happened to me before.

- x_joii


We're shy and probably thought of a reason why it wouldn't work.

- brokenwolf

Procrastination

They put everything off... from the simple tasks to the "absolutely has to get done ASAP". Like just go do it!

- jewelofcalifornia


See though. The thing is usually it doesnt need to be done asap. And we almost always get it done regardless. Yes there are times that we wait to ling and it does work or we fail it or whatever, but 95% of the time it's fine.

- deadlyturtle22

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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