Women Share The Most Obnoxious Things The Men In Their Life Do Regularly
Men... can't live with them... end of sentence.
There's something really infuriating about men, as much as we may love and appreciate them. Why don't they listen? Why is it so hard for some of them to understand when "no" means "no"? And why is it so difficult for some of them to wrap their heads around the idea that a woman's lived-in experience is entirely different from their own?
After Redditor KristianBerg asked the online community, "Females of Reddit, what's the most annoying/obnoxious thing that males in your life do regularly?" women told us about their experiences.
"I've been driving..."
Unsolicited advice about driving and parking. I've been driving a manual car for 6 years now, I'll ask for help if I need it.
Trash women and in the same breath complain about how women don't like them.
Suggest I should have my husband handle it when discussing any home repair or maintenance.
Write off period cramps as nothing serious. I'm sorry do you puke because you're in so much pain on a monthly basis?
"Thinking I need..."
Thinking I need to have a boyfriend and making it a big deal when I say I prefer being single.
My mom: "your standards are too high, you won't ever find a bf like that!"
I mean, WTF?? I wasn't exactly looking for one and I definitely wouldn't settle with just anybody for the sake of what? Not being alone?
"I was raised..."
Reprimand me for not being feminine enough... I was raised with only brothers so I think I kinda walk, talk, sit, and behave like them. Especially when I just try to relax. But apparently, that's scandalous and not ladylike. Please kindly f*** off.
Ugh. How feminine I am changes on a day to day basis by a LOT and I've been criticized for being not feminine enough or being too feminine by the SAME F**KING PEOPLE. Please, Trevor, tell me what the correct amount of femininity is, so that I can avoid it because I never want to give you the satisfaction.
"My dad and my friends..."
Cut me off. Be it involuntarily or not. My dad and my friends both do it and when they see that I'm annoyed they wait for me to take it back to the start, but... don't interrupt in the first place.
"Hard to fix"
This is so common and hard to fix (though always can be improved on, no excuse for not trying to be better)
I think part of the problem (at least in American males) is that in a lot of mostly male friend groups it basically becomes ingrained as "if I don't interrupt, I don't get to talk", and that just becomes how you communicate. Wait for others to finish, the topic is passed up, no one gives others room to speak, etc (especially for introverts). When I've been in predominantly female friend groups / hang outs, it doesn't seem to be a problem so much.
So males don't even think about it because it's been trained essentially. Still a big problem that people should work on, and if we were less "gender isolated" growing up it would probably be a lot better.
"I really do sympathise..."
Dismissing our problems is something that annoys me and I see it all the time on Reddit.
This is gonna be a bit spicy but I see this on the tinder subreddit. If you're a woman, you can't complain at all about the amount of creepy and sexist dudes on dating apps. If you do, you'll get dozens of men saying they get ignored on tinder so you should be grateful to even be messaged.
I really do sympathize with men who don't get any messages and who are lonely. It absolutely sucks but I wish in turn men would be sympathetic to women's struggles. The worry about being assaulted or stalked isn't just us being paranoid. I don't think I have one friend who hasn't had a scary dating experience.
"I swear to God..."
Tell me to smile. I swear to God there is nothing more infuriating.
"When you smile"
Not recently but when I bartended—telling me to smile or "you're prettier when you smile". I would hear that one ten times a night.
"Act like what they have to say..."
Act like what they have to say automatically has more value than what I have to say/they have more right to speak.
Don't interrupt me. Don't talk over me. If we start talking at the same time you shouldn't automatically get to be the one who talks first. Don't interrupt halfway through my damn sentence to tell me I'm wrong, I haven't even finished my sentence you don't know where it's going! Don't talk for twenty damn minutes straight lecture-style without allowing me to contribute to the conversation when there's only 2 of us. If you notice other men doing this, HELP because they obviously aren't valuing my voice but if you help give it value by asking me what I said or listening to me they might too(and if not at least I feel heard). If you're in a group with 4 women and 2 dudes, the conversation should NOT be predominantly male voices.
Repeat what I've said back to me but as if they just thought of it.
What I actually find more annoying is when someone takes what's essentially my idea, and says it again as if they came up with it.
"NO, why dont we go over there so we can surprise the boss"
cue to everyone nodding in agreement
Assume that you don't know anything.
I told the salesman I wanted to replace my favorite ultralight. I said I wanted a 6' fast action rod, and he told me I didn't want an ultralight (they require more finesse, and it can be tough to land big fish, but I can play a fish with the best of them).
I told him thanks I didn't need help and bought a St. Croix premier, which I love only slightly less than my dog and favorite shotgun.
There was also the time I swung into a Harbor Freight that had just opened. A salesman asked if I needed help and I said I was looking for emery cloth but couldn't find it. He looked too but eventually concluded they didn't carry it. Then he started explaining to me what emery cloth is. Why the hell would I be trying to buy it if I didn't know what it was!?
"Taken the time"
I'm 22 and my dad has always taken the time to show my younger brother (16 years old) how to do such and such (things involving handiwork in general, how to fix things) but when it came to me he's always assumed I wouldn't be able to do it properly and preferred to do it himself. When I was a teen I didn't really mind because I didn't realize how much these skills would come in handy later on in life.
Now that I'm in college and living by myself, I sometimes wish I could be able to do things such as unblock the U-bend in the sink or restart the battery in my car, etc... without having to look it up on the internet or call my dad for advice beforehand. My brother is younger and still living at home but he knows how to do all these things because someone was there to show him.
My advice to dads out there: don't dismiss your daughter when she asks if you can show her how to change a tire or whatever. Girls are very much able to do these things if you can just spare the time to teach them!
I can so relate. For many years I was the only girl born on my dad's (who has all brothers) side of the family. When I was a teenager/in college my dad was complaining how none of my cousins ever wanted to learn certain things from him because they were dirty, like plumbing and stuff like that, as he was a part-time plumber. I asked him why he never once offered or tried to teach me any of that stuff. He seemed completely perplexed by the suggestion. It literally never occurred to him that I might want to learn those skills.
"Ignores my mom's concerns"
My dad constantly ignores my mom's concerns about like literally anything until it's too late. Especially the car. Oh god with the car it's the worst. Despite her being right about the car time and time again he continues this and claims she isn't right about the car that often.
The tires are starting to deflate! "No, they're fine." (Tires proceed to be practically flat a week later)
We need new windshield wipers. "No we don't." (Windshield wipers proceed to have bits dangling off of them a week later)
The oil light is on. (He proceeds to ignore this until mom has to just get the oil changed herself)
There's also the fact that he constantly says things he KNOWS are gonna irritate me, laughs about it when I get upset at him, and then is surprised that I don't want to be around him.
"These wonderful creatures"
Take over conversations about female issues, especially on Reddit. It can get pretty ridiculous. I once saw a post where a woman asked other women if receiving an injection on the cervix hurt and a man left a comment saying nope, you won't even notice. When asked how he knew (the OP checked his profile and saw it was a man), he said he had a wife and daughters and had become very empathetic after being surrounded by "these wonderful creatures" so long, as if you could experience someone else's pain through osmosis.
Actually, add that to the list. I don't want to be called a wonderful creature. I'm just a regular person.
"I have to be excellent"
I work in a lab testing construction materials and site conditions and it is infuriating when the field guys won't listen to me or think I don't know what I'm talking about. It doesn't help that I'm young and look a lot younger than I am. I usually have to resort to an info dump and prove a level of competence that is way beyond what is necessary for my job. I'm lucky that I can do that in this field. I feel like I can never just be good at my job. I have to be excellent or I'm invalidated forever.
The other thing is how so many people automatically think woman are being dramatic about pain. My girlfriend has several physical issues that cause extreme pain from time to time. If she actually lets it interfere with her daily life it would be debilitating in most people. Many a guy has brushed her off as exaggerating.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.