Women Share The Acceptable Comments They'd Actually Like To Receive From A Man
Giving (an receiving) compliments can be tricky territory, particularly as it pertains to women. First, you kind of need to establish that what you want to say is, indeed a compliment.
(Pro-Tip: If your compliment involves a qualifier, it's not a compliment. "For a girl", "if you lost some weight", "etc.)
Then, you should establish that the compliment actually should be given and can be given without you looking awful. Did I need to know that the dude at the bar thought my hair smelled good? Not really, but I'd have been open to the compliment on my product selection.
What I was NOT open to was having him grab two handfulls of my hair, bury his face in it, and take a deep sniff. Not a compliment.
One Reddit user asked:
And here's what we learned: "it depends."
Why does it depend? Mostly because women are human beings and, like all human beings, they're individuals with individual like and dislikes. Turn out, just treating us like people is the way to go.
It also depends on who you are to that individual woman. Happily married couples seem to have cart blanche to get weird with it, but the man who told 19-year-old me that I had leg like a horse - and meant that in a good way - was waaaaay off base with how weird his compliments could be. If you don't know her, comparing her to farm animals is probably not going to go over well.
A few weeks ago I had to do a 3 hr training at work that nobody wanted to go to, and like you would expect, it went almost an hour over. As we were all leaving I was talking to my friend about how excited I was for lunch, or something like that. He looks at me and says "you're the only person I know who could still be in this good a mood after THAT 4 hour waste of time"
It's the best compliment I've gotten in a while, whether he meant it that way or not :)
Don't Be Grossew dislike GIFGiphy
Just don't be gross. Lemme explain with compliments/"compliments" I've received:
"That lipstick looks nice on you." 10/10. Made me feel pretty. No sexual undertone.
"I like flat girls." 0/10. Neggy. Don't care how you feel about my tits.
"Don't worry about having a big nose, it works for your face." 3/10. Also neggy. Suggesting a flaw is attractive to you doesn't make you special.
"Nice (item of clothing here), I love that (insert band/color/style/brand here)." 10/10. There's a guy at work who compliments a different piece of my outfit daily, without fail. I look forward to those innocent remarks and have started returning them. Makes me feel cool.
"You have such a cute laugh." 100/10. Developed a hardcore crush on him afterwards. Still remember that compliment three years later.
"Sure. Just wait until you're comfortable around me." NEGTIVE 100/10. Said after I remarked about being childfree. Suggesting that you'll impregnate me when I least expect it isn't funny or a compliment.
So, to summarize. Compliment appearance, not physique. Using backhanded compliments makes you look insecure. Relating to her interests (genuinely - don't force shit) is a surefire means of fostering goodwill between y'all.
"It's Not Weird, We're Married."
It entirely depends on what your relationship is to the woman.
Is she a complete stranger? ...then don't. Unless it's topical.
Is she a coworker, a fellow student, an acquaintance? Then ask yourself, what kind of compliments would you find acceptable from strange men? (i.e. away from compliments regarding her looks)
Is she someone you are trying to date? Compliments about looks are okay but keep them non-sexual until you know she digs you (e.g. "You look great," "are those new earrings? They're pretty.")
Is she someone you just started dating? Compliment her body, especially parts you know she's proud off (e.g "your booty is fine!")
Is she your wife or someone you've been dating a long, long time? Go nuts! (e.g, "I love your weird-@ss toes!" "You are sexy when you look at me like you're gonna kill me for letting the kids eat ice cream again!" "Have I mentioned that I love how you smell all musky in the morning before you shower?"). As I tell my husband: it's not weird; we're married.
Complimenting Her Skirt
Actual things said to me by men I work with in the same day:
"I like the color of your skirt!" 10/10, felt like I was walking on air until....
"Your legs look hot in that skirt!" 0/10 felt super slimey, never wore a skirt to work after that.
My personal rule of thumb for men:
If you are tempted to add any variation of the phrase "for a girl/woman" to the end of a compliment, just stop yourself before you hit that point.
If it's about how sexy we are in any capacity, just nope the hell out. Think about what you actually mean (i.e. "that color red looks good on you, and the cut of your shirt is very nice") and say that instead.
If you manage to f*ck up, just apologize and explain that you spoke without thinking. Own up to it. Sometimes, you may not have said anything actually offensive but brought back memories of someone who did. Just treat it like someone who can't stand the word "moist" when they eat. In other words, just respect your fellow human and try not to be an asshole.
Wording For The Randos
For men that don't know me and therefore can't compliment me on my personality, work ethic, etc. or who simply WANT to pay a compliment to my physical appearance, wording is important.
"Your shirt is really cool and suits you" is not a weird thing to say and does not give off bad vibes.
"That shirt looks great on you" is borderline. Not itself creepy but can be interpreted is referring more to my body and what you can see of it, but could also just mean my shirt is awesome and I'm rocking it.
"You look really nice" is relatively benign but also so empty and bland that I would probably think you're saying it exclusively to open a shallow dialogue and it's frankly boring.
"Wow you're gorgeous" is first of all not true I look like an ogre but in general is also just not thrilling to hear out of the blue. Like yes, everybody wants to hear that they're good-looking once in a while, but it gets tiring to hear it too frequently because it feels like that's all that matters, and if the last guy who said it then followed me for a block trying to smash, and last year a dude called me a b!tch for not being grateful enough, obviously I'm gonna be mildly worried that maybe you're also also going to be a d!ck and that sucks all the fun out the compliment anyway.
"Hey, have a great day" is just a nice thing to say to a passing stranger, and if she gets offended by that she's probably a b!tch.
Ultimately, don't comment on someone's body parts, but expressing that you think their style is cool is just friendly, and if you really just want to say something to make someone feel good, expressions of positivity are universally nicer than directed compliments.
Also, pay compliments to people you know, not randos on the street.
I had a classmate from middle school say that he remembered me because I "was the only one who could beat him at proofs on the chalkboard in Mr. X's class". He's a physicist now and I am a stay at home mom who never really developed a career.
Not sure if that was technically meant to be a compliment, but I couldn't see it any other way, and damn it made me feel good. Will always remember that.
If you don't know me personally, compliments on my body or even just a "you're gorgeous" make me SUUUPER scared. Compliments from random men on the street, no matter how sweet, are always threatening because their sweetness can absolutely be used to guilt you into talking with them more or putting yourself in a vulnerable situation.
If I do know you however, I'll accept and deeply appreciate almost any compliment on my appearance, interests, or personality that isn't sexual (unless we're dating of course). A good rule of thumb is just to understand that we've all been brought up to see compliments from strangers as threats and to not be judgmental of us for that.
The Puppy Exceptiondog come GIFGiphy
Totally depends on the woman and the situation!
In the workplace, ONLY professional compliments are appropriate. And especially avoid anything appearance related, even clothes or hair. As someone else said, if you wouldn't say it to a male coworker, don't say it! For example, Great job on that report!" 👍 "That dress is really flattering" 👎
If you're complimenting a close friend, saying that dress is really flattering is probably fine, but avoid telling her what parts of her body it flatters, that's creepy.
If it's your wife, telling her her @ss looks fine in that dress is probably fine.
My husband once said to me out of the blue, "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would never have self esteem issues." Super sweet, candid, and I will never forget that for as long as I live. But he is my husband, so he is allowed to compliment my appearance. Any other guys remarking on my appearance is just creepy.
As many have said before, go with compliments that aren't based on appearances, or stick to non-sexual things. Complimenting a personality trait is a huge plus, because it's like the person is complimenting me, not my body.
Crash & Burn
Had a male coworker tell me that my place of employment would have crashed and burned without me.
That was a pleasant compliment that wasn't about physical attributes or sex and it was one of the most memorable ones.
That Wasn't It
Literally just today I had a customer go out of his way to tell one of my employees how hot he thought she was, and he kept coming back over to ask when she worked again. And then she and I had a whole discussion about how it's absolutely possible to compliment someone without making them feel uncomfortable or threatened.
And that wasn't it.
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- People Explain Which 'Strange' Traits They Find Attractive - George Takei ›
- People Share Something That's A Compliment And An Insult At The Same Time - George Takei ›
- People Share The Most Uncomfortable Compliments They've Ever Received - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Items Of Clothing Are A Total Turn Off - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Things They Wish They'd Never Learned - George Takei ›
Reddit user Key_Nectarine_1969 asked: 'What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?'
We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.
Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.
Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.
As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.
Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:
"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"
The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...
"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."
"We had to have an assembly about it."
"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky
Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."
"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."
"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."
"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."
"I quit a few weeks later."
"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin
The Bread Of Heaven
"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."
"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinatecatholic the exorcist GIFGiphy
"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."
"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."
"Always kept about a half block behind."
"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."
"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep
Hygeine Be Damned...
"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleiaexercise push up GIFGiphy
Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...
"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."
"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."
"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."
"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."
"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."
"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."
"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."
"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."
"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop
Things Best Left To Professionals...
"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."
"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."
"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologisturuguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy
At Least A Lesson Was Learned...
"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."
"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."
"He ran off and no one saw."
"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile
All Creatures Deserve Love
"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."
'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."
"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn
That's What Friends Are For...
"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."
"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."
"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy
Not The Right Kind Of Manure...
"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."
"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."
"I did this because I was bored."
"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse
A Little Fantasy Now And Then...
"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."
"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."
"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."
"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."
"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."
'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."
"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."
"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343dating app GIFGiphy
If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.
Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.
Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.
Happiness is relative.
The idea that money can't buy happiness sounds good, but the reality is money can buy many things that contribute to our overall well-being.
And isn't comfort happiness?
Reddit user Little-Two6210 asked:
"F*ck 'Money can't buy happiness' BS, what did you buy that made you so much happier?"
"My rice cooker."
"I always bought the cheapo $20 rice cooker and they’d under/overcook the rice and then eventually burn up and die."
"Saved up my pennies a few years ago and bought a nice Zojirushi model and it has been amazing. Absolutely love the Keep Warm function and the little song it sings when it starts/stops cooking."
"I was so impressed that I bought one for my mom who also loves rice with every meal. First she said 'oh honey it’s too expensive, take it back!'."
"Then she used it and refuses to 'give it back'. These cookers are absolute workhorses."
"I moved into my sister's old house (family land) when she moved in with her boyfriend and just assumed she'd be back 'any day now'."
"Well, I slept on a 'floor mattress'/cot for a year before I accepted that it was okay to start making it my home, bought sheets, pillows, blankets, everything and holy sh*t it changes how sore you feel in the morning."
"Same, except my dog is a cat."
"So much this. I really feel like the only unconditional love relationship I've had in my life has been with my pets."
"I realize that's kind of a pathetic statement, but I'm grateful to have found that type of love in some way."
"My first piano. It changed my life."
"For me it was my first acoustic. I had been playing for a decade on electric."
"Discovering how to use tone- and the beauty that tone carries- was magical."
"Flight tickets to Barcelona. I landed, had a blast, contemplated 'forgetting' to leave."
"Wandering around the city, losing myself in thought in the Gothic Quarter, sitting on a fontain's edge at a square."
"Barcelona is one of my favourite cities. I rarely go there because the flight is rather long, but Athens is a good subtitute for a weekend getaway."
"I ruined my teeth thanks to depression and poor self-care."
"Money paid for my teeth to be fixed and my confidence improved so much."
"Walking is dope."
"I don't have a lot of money so it makes me so happy when I buy anything."
"Like the other day, I got sushi, it was awesome."
"And I got a beautiful comfy beanie."
"Makes me so happy I'm wearing it now. Keeps me warm."
"When I was poor, like super poor, anything was the world to me!"
"My set of cheap pots and pans from Walmart, my first tv (small but awesome!) my first set of not donated sheets, my first new pillows, my first set of new flatware, a lot of firsts."
"My own apartment."
"Feel like my parents, siblings and myself get along better after everyone got their own place."
"Having your own space to just shut off and not be bothered takes such a huge load off."
"Time—help with housekeeping has been invaluable to keeping a sane household while working."
"Services...which to me is essentially buying time."
"So paying to have laundry washed dried & folded has brought me more joy than anyone could ever imagine. Or cleaning service for my house so that I can do other things."
"I've actually noticed that I'm much less grumpy when I don't have to do as much of my own house work."
"I can be so productive with other things I really need to do."
"What is one thing that is the great equalizer between rich and poor people? Time. No amount of money in the world can buy someone time."
"We all have 24 hours days and we will all eventually die. The one thing in this world rich people cannot buy is time."
"So they spend their money conserving time."
"It's why they travel in private jets, have chauffeurs driving them around, a cook who makes their meals, a cleaner for their home, and personal assistants to take care of mundane tasks."
"They cannot buy more time. Only use their money to conserve what time they do have."
"The most important thing money can buy is choice."
"With enough money you can choose to walk away from a sh*tty job or a toxic relationship."
"You can still walk away without money but it’s SO MUCH harder."
"Peace of mind.
"I grew up dirt poor."
"But I’ve had a pretty successful career. Unfortunately, my family has accumulated a lot of medical debt."
"And despite me having a low six figure income, we were living a low income life and worrying constantly about money and spiraling debt."
"The state I live in is very conservative, which translates to a general stance of 'f*ck poor people', despite being one of the poorest states in the country. So it took my spouse, who is a textbook case for the type of person for whom disability is intended, 7 years to finally get approved."
"After that, and refinancing the house, we’re no longer spiraling further into debt. We’re debt free except for the mortgage. And we’re actually growing our savings account."
"I can contribute to a retirement account now. And while we’re far from rich, the sheer relief I’ve been feeling for the last few months is just amazing."
What things have you bought that contributed to your happiness?
We've all heard that love and work do not mix, and we've definitely heard that we shouldn't take relationships or friendships with coworkers to the next level.
Between having our work, our jobs, our income, and maybe even our reputations on the line, there's simply too much at risk.
But maybe sometimes, the affair won't turn out quite the way we expected.
Redditor Nuff-Do asked:
"People who had sex with coworkers, how did that turn out?"
Rewarded with a Trip to Italy
"I was a young Airman at my first base in California and I worked with a girl (let's call her Sarah) who was way more attractive than anyone my small-town Missouri a** had ever hooked up with before."
"For some reason, she was into me. She was into a few other dudes too, but at the time it didn't matter because I was 19 and stupid and she was a few years older and far more sexually experienced than I was. We had sex a few times and sort of 'dated,' but it didn't really go anywhere and I was heartbroken but cool with it."
"This was right after 9/11, so U.S. military operations were starting to ramp up and Sarah got deployment orders. They didn't tell her where she was going, but she was on the hook."
"Her reaction to the news was to tell our Chief that she was pregnant with my kid so she didn't have to go. I knew she wasn't pregnant and just using it as an excuse not to deploy."
"The Chief came to me and asked if I'd go in her place. As I said, I was 19 and even though I was a little scared, I signed the dotted line and told him of course I'd take the deployment."
"It turns out, the 'deployment' was to a NATO base in Naples Italy where I'd be paid about 80 dollars per day per diem on top of my normal paycheck."
"As soon as Sarah found out where I was headed, she called the Chief and told him she wasn't pregnant anymore and would like to take the deployment."
"The Chief denied her request and I spent an amazing eight months in Italy, being paid more money than I knew how to spend and having the time of my life."
Watching Them Move On
"We met thru work and dated for one and a half years. She cheated with another coworker who is married. We broke up. She started to date a different coworker. Not the married one. She paraded that relationship in my face."
"Everything was great until it wasn't. It really f**ked over my self-esteem and self-worth for years. It sucked that I had front row seat to her moving on."
"I feel that last part. When my ex moved out, she did it slowly over the course of like a month. She came over every day and packed up slowly until she finally got everything."
"The worst day was when she finally came and took her cat. I still remember sitting in front of the door and crying for hours after she left that day."
"There's a band called Pedro the Lion that has this lyric, 'My old man always swore that hell would have no flame. Just a front-row seat to watch your true love pack her things and drive away.'"
"When I kicked my ex out this summer for having cheated on me, I gave her an arguably unfair timeline to leave before all of her possessions just went outside, and packed and moved everything for her to the garage overnight, since I couldn't sleep anyways."
"This is why. I simply couldn't handle those constant reminders and wanted it done and gone as fast as possible."
A Messy Breakup
"I had resigned and was leaving the company anyway but it was one of those classic hookups at a company party. We had fun for a while but then she decided to stop seeing me."
"I'm glad I had left the company by then; otherwise, things would have been messy."
A Huge Theft Ring
"I got fired and she got fired and all 20 guys she f**ked while we were dating were fired."
"I got fired under false allegations because she was my girlfriend and she was stealing from the store."
"She got fired for stealing from the store."
"The other 20 were fired because it was brought up that she was stealing and sleeping with managers and other coworkers while in a relationship with me. They thought that me and her were the center of a theft ring."
"Like, no... I don't steal so."
A Promotion for Everyone
"So my wife of over 10 years, who had cheated in the past and I forgave her, got a huge promotion at work which caused us to relocate."
"I guess she got tired of me because she kicked me out and we were getting a divorce."
"Four months later, I found out that a co-worker had a thing for me, so I took my shot. The sex was amazing. It could be that it’s been a long time for me since sex with the wife was basically non-existent for the last few years of marriage."
"Me and the co-worker have now been dating for over a year and I haven’t been happier. So for me, it worked out for the best. And the sex is still great!"
Too Many Options
"I worked at a casino as the only male cocktail waiter/bartender (roughly eight cocktail waitresses and four female bartenders). The floor was mostly women between the bar, servers, restaurant, and dealers."
"I slept with one of the cocktail waitresses for a couple of months even though I knew I had a bigger crush on her than she did on me. I also knew I didn't really want a relationship with her for a couple of reasons."
"Evidently, she told some people and gave me good reviews. After she quit and moved away, I had more interest than I really knew what to do with and kinda just went for it with anyone who showed interest that I was attracted to as I knew I had no more than a year left there no matter what happened. I ended up with four more of them over the course of a couple of months."
"One time on a shift, I looked around and all four were on the floor somewhere. All knew each other but I'm not sure any knew about the whole situation, and none were any false impressions of a relationship as far as I know so nothing bad came of it."
A Family Man
"Not me, but she was working in payroll and he was a security guard. One day, a coworker saw the security guard walking her to her car. Immediately, she was transferred to another branch. However, they continued to see each other."
"Soon after, they got married after finding out she got pregnant. In the next five years, they had three daughters, with me being the youngest. My dad ended up passing away from brain cancer when I was just a toddler."
The Downfall of a Friendship
"I had one good experience one bad. The first one we ended up dating for a year and a half. We had a ton of fun sneaking around at work, and even though in the end he totally broke my heart, it wasn't a bad experience."
"The second one was very bad. Do not recommend."
"I thought he would be safer because we were friends, so I figured communication and rules would be no problem. Instead, we didn't communicate at all because we were both so worried about hurting each other's feelings."
"It ended badly with major assumptions on both ends and now it's very awkward and uncomfortable."
"It makes me sad because honestly, I just miss my friend. While the experience can be fun, I don't recommend it."
A Suspicious Relocation
"Pretty fine. We worked at different locations in the company the first time we slept together, but we knew each other as she had trained at my location."
"One night we ran into each other at the bar and one thing led to another. A couple of months later, I ended up getting transferred to the location she was at and we just acted like it never happened."
"After a month or two of working together, we ran into each other again at the same bar, and history repeated itself."
"There was a slightly awkward moment a couple of days later when I had to find a way to give her back the necklace she'd left at my place without anybody noticing, but other than that, our working relationship didn't change at all."
Messy Feelings Everywhere
"First time: super fun but I got more attached than she did."
"Second time: kinda fun but she got more attached than I did."
"Moral of the story: don’t f**k coworkers unless you’re SUPER SURE."
"We dated for over a year and then one day she randomly decided to break my heart. Thankfully, we had stopped working together by that point. It still makes me tear up thinking about her, though."
Best Decision Ever
"We had an instant connection the moment she joined the foundation I had been working at for a year. We worked at the front desk together and we got to know each other very quickly."
"Neither of us enjoyed small talk and we would get angry emails from our unbelievably incompetent manager about the amount of laughter coming from the front desk. We got all of our work done, and then some, our manager just felt like she was getting left out. Which our manager was, but it was because she sucked."
"I worked from home four days a week before my new coworker started and a few weeks later she asked me why I was coming in every day. I told her something about training her how to answer the phones, which she instantly knew was bullsh*t (we got four calls a day, max)."
"The first time we hung out outside of work we told each other it would be a terrible idea to date. That lasted for about 10 days. The next time we hung out we slept together."
"That was a year and a half ago."
"We left the foundation after she told our manager that her 'management style' was untenable in an email. The two of us then called a meeting with her and we laid out a very well-planned strategy for departmental growth and change."
"Our manager nodded her head the whole meeting and told us how proud of us she was for taking ownership of our careers and how excited she was to implement our new plan."
"Three weeks later, they fired my coworker. They pushed me out, telling me that they no longer had a place for me (at my review the previous year, the CEO told me herself that she believed I had CEO potential)."
"We both have new jobs, she is a high school English teacher at one of the best high schools in the country and I became a private investigator."
"Her dad and I go to college football games together and our moms get lunch and do spa dates."
"We have been showing each other how to heal and grow as individuals and as partners."
"Right now, she's sleeping in my bedroom while I type this in the living room. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that she's the love of my life."
"Sleeping with my coworker is the best thing I've ever done."
"Marry this girl already."
Redefining the Coworker
"Pretty good. We have a kid together. Granted we'd been married for seven years before we became coworkers."
"She always wanted to teach at the same school as me. The school grew enough that it needed a dedicated English teacher. She has a master's in it so it worked out."
A Slow Transition
"We worked together for a couple of years and became close friends before we crossed the romance line one night after a lot of drinks. Honestly, it was and still is amazing. Happily married now over 15 years with two kids."
A Bartender's Love Story
"She's sleeping next to me, cuddling our cat."
"Turns out our chemistry working behind the bar together was also amazing outside of work."
We've all heard that love and work don't mix, and that we absolutely shouldn't get close to our coworkers, but from these Redditors, it seems that while things could get messy, sometimes it's worth the risk.
When we're young and naive, we tend to be optimistic as we have our whole lives ahead of us and we have to time to figure out who we are and who we want to be.
But when we're all grown up and out in the big world on our own, nothing can prepare us for the harsh realities of adulting until we experience them.
And unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and roses the way we imagined it to be when we were much more innocent.
Curious to hear about life's many wake up calls Redditor Just_Surround_2108 asked:
"What is the adult version of finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
Life's deceptions begin slowly revealing themselves.
"When you buy an 8-piece tupperware set, 4 of the pieces are lids."
"Same with pots and pans. What a rip off!"
"And when you put them in the cabinet, suddenly SIX of the pieces are lids 😂"
Value Of Friendships
"That some friends were never really your friend."
"Also that friendships can end just like any relationship."
"The best friend I'll ever have said some nasty things to me and blocked me recently. Never going to get much closure on that front."
"Not having closure is, with both friends and lovers, worse than the loss itself. I want to grow. Tell me what I need to become so this doesn't happen to me again!"
"On a related note: your co-workers are not your friends."
"I think most people seem to treat this as the default stance, but I’ve learnt you can actually make deep connections amongst coworkers, the same way you do in other stages of your life."
The role of parent and child unexpectedly switches. So now what?
Who's Parenting Who
"That time period when your relationship switches and your parent looks to you for answers and advice, instead them being the one with all the answers."
"Not sure about that one. Dad simultaneously says I’m the smartest person he knows and I don’t know how to do anything lol."
"When both your parents die. I am in my mid 50’s and had my mom pass on Mother’s Day ‘22. My Dad then was living with us from then, and eventually reached in-home hospice status with a sudden stage IV cancer diagnosis. He died in January of this year, and then I got laid off from my tech job and was unemployed for 10 months. Nothing takes the wonderment and positive outlook from the world than having to empty out your childhood home solo and throw everything you grew up with into a big dumpster and are left to wonder what our lives really mean."
Leaving Behind The House You Grew Up In
"I’m in the process of dismantling my childhood home right now. I’ve compared it to dismembering the dead body of a loved one. It’s really rough."
"my mum sold my childhood home a decade ago. i won't have to go through that."
We all want to grow up when we're young. But as soon as reach reach 30, we want to slam on the breaks.
"I thought I'd grow up, move out, find my footing in the grown up world and basically switch into cruise mode. Now I'm in my 40s and sh*t is confusing as f'k."
"As adults, nobody knows what they're doing, we're just pretending we do."
Misconception Behind Work Integrity
"Being a hard worker and good at your job doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be rewarded for it."
And the laziest person at work is allowed to be lazy, but the hardest worker isn’t allowed a break."
We Are Our Parents
"Finding out that your parents are people, too, with weaknesses or flaws that you were blind to when you were young."
"And the day you suddenly notice how old they are. When their mortality finally hits you."
Living On Borrowed Time
"Yep had that day earlier this month. Was visiting for dad's 75th birthday."
"As I was leaving, out in the sunshine and fixing to get in the truck, I suddenly saw how small and frail-looking they are now. Mom hit me the hardest. She's started to shrink. They are both healthy, but Dad's just . . . worn."
"Been also doing the math lately. The math where you count up how many times you see them a year and then multiply that by how many years they have left according to the average."
"I've had enough crap and surprise losses in my life that I've long since started parting with family and friends like it might be the last time I get to see them. But that times left to see them calculation really clobbers me with my folks, and it's not even that bad yet for me. Given the ages of my grandparents when they passed I've probably still got somewhere between 150-200 visits."
"But the meter is running."
I'm at the point where I'm realizing there are no handbooks on life and taking care of our parents.
When you're so used to having them there and taking care of you your whole life, nothing can prepare you for the time when that role reversal happens.
As tough as that may be, however, there's nothing more beautiful in life than returning the favor for the people who loved you unconditionally and raised you.