Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the greatest love of our lives. The wedding party should be full of people who are there to share and celebrate that love with you. When you think of it that way, it's easy to see why people consider being asked to be in a wedding party a huge honor - but what happens when it's an honor they don't want or can't accept?
One Reddit user asked:
Have you ever been asked to be a bridesmaid and declined the offer? If so, why did you decline and how did you tell the bride?
The stories often revolve around a lack of funds, being a bridesmaid can be expensive. But there are a few here who said no for totally different reasons. Some hated the soon-to-be-spouse, one didn't feel like climbing a mountain, and one person got asked by someone they'd literally never even heard of before.
Here are some of our favorite answers.
She asked, and thus ended up being one of the first people I told I was pregnant. I couldn't even go to the wedding—I lived 500 miles away and on the wedding day I was 8 months pregnant on no-travel orders. Baby was born 2 weeks later.
Bride was excited, not angry.
Over a decade later I am still sad I missed that wedding though—so many of our friends and families have not all been together since.
Four Hundred Dollars
I was a broke college student that had my own bills to pay on a student worker part time wage. She expected me to buy my own dress, and the one she picked out was $400 and refused to change to a cheaper one. I literally made $400 per month so there was no way I could afford it. She got mad and has not talked to me since, which does not bother me because she was being extremely selfish.
Win, Win, Win
I've said no at least three times because I absolutely hate being a bridesmaid. But each time I've offered to play violin for the ceremony instead. All three times I was taken up on the offer.
Saved me the expense of being a bridesmaid, saved the bride $ on music for the ceremony (I always played these weddings for free), and I still got to be an important part of the event. Win, win, win.
Accessibility Is An Issue
I told her I wasn't even going to be able to attend the wedding because of health issues. She had selected an out-of-state rural location that was not accessible for my wheelchair. I wouldn't have been able to afford the trip to begin with anyway. She got upset and said I was just being cruel.
I guess she talked to someone else or had time to calm down and called me the next day apologizing for accusing me if trying to ruin her special day. I mean I had been dealing with the same health issues long before she got engaged or even started dating the man she was about to marry. Also, asking someone in a wheelchair to attend a wedding in the forest off a hiking trail with no easy access isn't well thought out is it?
I Don't Even Know You
Had a girl I had never met or heard of before call and ask me to be her bridesmaid.
She was a friend of a friend whom I had helped out years before by being a bridesmaid and doing all her flowers and such because that friend wasn't very well off. Apparently this girl thought I was some sort of volunteer paratrooper bridesmaid florist? It was very weird.
I told her that I couldn't because:
A) I didn't know her
B) I was going to have a three week old baby at the time if my due date was correct and didn't want to drive 8 hours with a newborn.
She seemed ok with this and hung up, only to call again a few minutes later to ask if I was refusing because he was so much older than her and I was being judgmental and I said no, because I literally knew none of this because I do not know you. I have never heard of either you or your fiance before. Which is - again- the major reason I would not be your bridesmaid...
I wished her every happiness and hung up.
My sister asked me to be her Maid of Honor and i declined. She was like "What the heck, why?!" I told her "Youre just asking me to be nice and because you think its the right thing to do. But I'm not your best friend. Jocelyn is your best friend, and she should be your maid of honor." My sister cried and said what a good sister i was. So i guess i demoted myself to bridesmaid.
Birth And Death
My sister had a destination wedding in the beginning of August of this year. I have three sisters, and the one getting married is the youngest one. All of the sisters would be bridesmaids (plus like 5 of her best friends). Problem was, I got pregnant and my baby was due in the middle of June. Fortunately, she was also pregnant and due in March, and she totally understood. The timing was so borderline. If he was born on his due date, he would only be 7 weeks old by the wedding. They recommend waiting until two weeks after the 6 weeks vaccinations to fly, but they could do the vaccinations as early as 4 weeks. If he was early, we might be able to make it. If he was late, maybe not. This was also my first child, so I had NO clue what to expect. Maybe it would be chaos and traveling was a horrible idea. I just had no way of knowing.
As it turned out, I had an induction 5 weeks early due to a medical emergency. I missed all of the wedding planning stuff due to being sick and then having a newborn. But baby was healthy, really easygoing, and it was looking like I was going to be able to go. Not only that, but my husband wanted to take two weeks of his parental leave so that we could take a family vacation just the three of us. We were going to island hop for two weeks, visit one of his friends, etc. We were so excited. I told my husband that I would book our travel and accommodations for Oahu first (where my sister was getting married) and the rest of the trip was up to him. I was down for whatever. I bought my bridesmaid dress and booked our travel. Everything was coming up Millhouse.
Then my husband passed away suddenly two and a half weeks before the wedding. Obviously I was a total f*cking wreck. But literally all of my family was going to Hawaii for the wedding. My in-laws live across the country from me. Nobody wanted me to be left alone so they insisted baby and I still come to Hawaii. One of my sisters helped me cancel my husband's flight, move mine so that I wouldn't have to travel alone, cancel my accommodations and crash in their room with the baby.
Now, I thought it was obvious I wasn't going to be in the wedding anymore. I thought I didn't have to have that conversation. It was already always up in the air whether I would be able to attend the wedding at all, let alone be a bridesmaid. I thought it would be clear that a wedding would be really f*cking hard for me as it is. I didn't want to ruin all the videos and pictures with my thousand yard stare, running mascara, and bags under my eyes.
Well, it just never occurred to my baby sister that I wasn't still one of her 8 bridesmaids. God love her, she is amazing and thoughtful and the most loving and sweet person I know. But she just had a lot going on and she probably hadn't thought about it.
The day of the rehearsal, I put the baby in a stroller and hoofed it from the resort. We walked around Waikiki and I tried to not be desperately miserable behind sunglasses. I took pictures of my son with the Duke Kahanamoku statue, bought and ate a rapidly melting pineapple soft serve cone, and window shopped. My parents called me and told me to come back to the hotel so we could "go shopping" so I sighed and went back. When I got there, they were like, OK we're going to the rehearsal. I said, uh you guys are, I'm not. They said, "[your sister] wants you there."
I thought it was weird, but I went. And I sat in the back with the baby while everyone chatted and got directed around. Then the wedding coordinator kept making references to where I'll be standing and sitting, etc. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen and my sister and brother in law were standing fanned out up front, when the wedding coordinator started talking about where in the order I will be standing during the wedding (mind you, at this point I'm sitting in the third row with my baby).
So I said flatly, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a bridesmaid." And my sister, standing where the bride stands in front of everyone says, "yes you are."
And I said, "I thought you knew I wasn't going to be. I didn't have time to get my dress hemmed. I didn't even bring my dress."
I don't remember what happened after that except for they reset to do the whole march again and I picked up my baby and walked away to sob behind some bushes. Once I got all my sh!t together I went back and watched the rest of the rehearsal. Afterwards I immediately went back to the room, where one of my sister's friends was working on handwritten name cards.
That friend was the first people who had donated to a GoFundMe after my husband died, so as soon as I parked my stroller in the room I started crying and thanking her. She gave me a big hug and I told her about how I had a mega meltdown during the rehearsal, and she held me and told me it was OK, that it's understandable. My sister walked into the room while I was crying and she gave me a big hug. I told her that I was sorry, I messed up her rehearsal, and I should have told her I wasn't going to be her bridesmaid. She said it was OK, she wasn't mad.
SO yeah. That's how that went. The wedding was hard for me, but I was happy for my sister. She still included me as much as I was willing to be included. She still had my makeup and hair done, and I was in her video a little and in family photos. During the reception my sister and BIL gave a speech, and she gave a shout out to my husband and I ugly cried. Anyway, I'm still glad that I went. I love my sister, she was there for me when I had my baby and she was there for me when my husband died. I wish I could have been there for her during her wedding, but I did the best that I could. Super glad I wasn't a bridesmaid, though.
My then-boyfriend's brother's fiance asked me to be her maid of honor. It was a shotgun wedding due to her pregnancy but it was also about 6 weeks away. I barely knew her and thought it was really weird. I told her she should choose someone she's known longer and has a deeper connection with or perhaps a family member. I also pointed out that if my bf and I broke up, she would probably hate having me in their wedding photos. That's got a weird reaction from everyone involved.
Chubby Bride, Chubby Friends
I turned down an opportunity to be in a wedding party on the summit of Longs Peak in Colorado. Start hiking at 3 am so we could be off the summit before the afternoon lightening storms killed us. Sounds great! (actually sounds awful, let's be real.)
All of us were in sh!t shape, bride especially. WTF were they thinking? I heard later that it was absolutely miserable. I guess it turned out so badly that multiple people dropped out of the hike. We didn't get the full story for months. Lots of minor injuries and they didn't make it to the summit until noon.
No one could tell her it was a stupid idea.
This was long before social media. I shudder to think what she could have come up with in the age of social media. They would been dropping on to the summit with parachutes.
Yes, they divorced in a few years.
I have no idea why a chubby bride thought her chubby friends would all enjoy hiking up a 14K foot mountain for a sunrise wedding.
By The Neck
Yes....I declined because I saw the groom to be picking up the bride by her neck. We were young, we were out clubbing, I don't know why these two were even trying to get married, this was back in say, 1998. Anyway, groom-to-be picks up bride by the neck, I call cops, they come arrest him, she bails him out same night. It was about 3 or 4 months later that they were getting married and she asked me to be the maid of honor! No can do I told her, I told her the truth. And she was okay with it.
They were over within a year. I just remember she was crying and so embarrassed that she had just gotten all these gifts for the wedding, and that all those people who came to her wedding would find out that it was all for nothing. As far as I know she moved back in with her parents for a while, she was quite young.
Yes. Bride asked me to be a bridesmaid on a Wednesday. Wedding was on a Saturday. Across the country. She claimed she had 'asked my dad to tell me' (I don't even live with him anymore) and spent years without talking to me after I declined.
Not a big loss.
I had a friend from high school ask me to be her maid of honor. I said yes, but I was worried about the money. I bought the dress, started planning her shower and she was already hounding me about her bachelorette party, even though she was four months away from getting married. Bridal shower went well in my opinion, until the bride kept making side comments about how there weren't enough games, or prizes. (I was recently unemployed and didn't have money, but my parents were helping.) I had planned four games, and I thought that was fair. She also said the food wasn't good enough either, and spent the entire time talking to her other friends and ignoring me.
The next day she messages me saying we need to meet and plan her bachelorette party. She wanted all the bridesmaids to come over and have dinner. Well, night of the dinner I was really sick. I have a lot of health concerns and she was aware of them, but still got mad at me. Keep in mind I had been planning and trying to accommodate her requests for the bachelorette party while also making it feasible. She wanted an over night weekend get away in a air B&B and it would have been like $300 per person or something like that. I tried to convince her it wasn't feasible and wanted to plan something else. I found something else to do, but hadn't told her about it yet.
She messaged me later that night saying how disappointed she was that I wasn't being a good maid of honor, and that she shouldn't have to plan her own bachelorette party, and she basically yelled at me and said that I was a terrible friend because I did not do what she wanted exactly. Our entire friendship she always made it about herself, and I had distanced myself from her recently, and so I was surprised she asked me to be her MOH. After that message I was like fine, I'm done. And I quit her wedding.
We are no longer friends, and When we met in person to discuss it she blew up at me for not being there for her, that I was ruining her special day, and that she wasn't getting what she wanted. I knew I had done nothing wrong and she was being a bridezilla. Their wedding recently happened and I could care less. She was a toxic person and I don't need that negativity. Sure I feel bad about it, but I also know I needed to stand up for myself as our entire friendship she always walked over me.
My half sister asked me to be her bridesmaid at her extravagant, not small wedding. All good, until I was told she wasn't inviting my dad, because he 'wasn't her family' despite financially supporting her for 15 years while her dad refused to pay any parental contribution.
I wanted nothing to do with the wedding after that. I attended, and went to bed very swiftly after I had a free meal.
To this day, my sister is still very standoffish and rude to my dad. It's caused no end of drama in our house, but I love my dad to pieces and I will always stick up for him and all the amazing things he's helped us achieve and experience even as adults. He's a very wonderful man.
My ex husband's sister had asked me to be her bridesmaid. I declined because it was shortly after his affair and there was a lot of bad blood between his family and me. It was really heartbreaking to do; we had been best friends for years prior. Unfortunately, we no longer speak.
You're Not Missing This
Not the wedding, but the bachelor party. My brother was getting married and both bride and groom were having parties in Nashville. My wife and I have massive student loan debt and as a result had to file for bankruptcy as we had exhausted all possible solutions to paying other bills. Trust me we aren't proud of it and are working very hard to make sure we do better in the future. Anyway, my brother chose Nashville and all his friends are older and well established. As a result they had no problem paying, I on the other hand could not afford it since I have two young kids with fall/ winter birthdays, so we were trying to save as much as we could for birthdays/ Christmas. So I send a note to my brother and his buddy who are planning this whole thing. I politely word everything and make sure they know that we just cannot afford it at this time. I wished them well and to have fun.
Email sent, there done. Worst part, over. No sooner did I send the email then a reply came back from his buddy. "Hell no you aren't missing this, I will pay for both your hotel stays but you aren't missing out." On top of that my brother starts a fund and gives me $100 toward the weekend so that I can do. So now I feel like shit and totally obligated to go, thanks guys. Weekend in October comes, I go on trip, have a mixed time, some good some bad, but overall a decent weekend.
My brother and I are still really close and still confide in each other, but I will never let anyone pay for me like that again. Overall, I think it led to a weekend trip that I just couldn't enjoy because I knew I had't paid for the better part of it and it sat with me the whole time. Even to this day, two years later, I still feel guilty when I see my brothers friend.
Groomsman Or Nothing
A friend of a friend asked me to be a groomsman at his wedding. I thought it was odd because we only ever saw one another when we were hanging out with our mutual friend. I don't even remember if I ever met his fiance.
At the time my wife was pregnant and due to give birth right around the time of the wedding and also I had just gotten a job again after being unemployed and was trying to catch back up on finances so paying for a tux wasn't an exciting prospect. I declined and told him I didn't want to leave them in a lurch if my wife ended up going into labor because it was such an important day for them. I thanked him for inviting me and told him I would attend the wedding but this way at least they weren't depending on me.
He understood and was fine with it but called me a couple days later, clearly embarrassed and told me his fiance was furious and had disinvited me from the wedding.
They ended up getting divorced a few years later.
Yes, but I ended up being one anyway because A) she wouldn't take no for an answer, and B) I didn't have the courage to give a hard and fast NO.
I was actually surprised when she asked me because we hardly ever spoke or spent time together anymore. We met freshman year of college and were only kind of close then. But I suppose friendships can continue on through distance (both physical and emotional), and I also suppose my friendship with her meant more than I considered.
I was just moving home after a dramatic life event and was low on cash and felt somewhat depressed and also just did not feel close enough to her to accept that role. I explained that I wasn't sure if it would work and since it's such a big responsibility, maybe I should let her select someone else because I don't want to be a wishy washy flaky bridesmaid. She continued to call and ask me about it so I finally said ok, albeit reluctantly.
The wedding is long over and we are barely in touch. I probably should have had the courage to say "No, thank you," and mean it very firmly.
Back To Portugal
My childhood best friend never asked, just assumed I would be the MOH. She planned a destination wedding in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, which she tried to sell as a wedding in Portugal but was actually a small island without any real economy just because it was convenient for her family. She explained to me that tickets were "only 500 dollars out of Chicago" - which they aren't and oh yea, I don't live in Chicago. So... not really relevant or useful information, Bride. But thanks.
She graduated college with a degree she couldn't use, had no real work ethic and no money to her own name - but she spent a lot of time explaining to me how to spend my own money and PTO. Her mom paid for the whole thing in that location because it would be cheap and convenient and to make herself feel better about marrying her daughter off to a loser (they forced him into a proposal) so her mom could move back to Portugal.
Just Say Goodbye To Him
My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor and at the time I said yes, but later on down the road closer to the wedding, I had to back out. My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 6 weeks out from the wedding. I called her to tell her that he was dying and that I wasn't going to make it to her wedding and her response was:
"My grandmother died and I'm still getting married. You already agreed to this, just say goodbye to him and be here."
He ended up dying the Monday after the wedding weekend. I will never regret backing out to spend time with him and I will also never regret writing her off completely.
She Thinks She Can Change Him
I said no to being MOH at my best friends second wedding.
My best friend is basically a part of my family. Her own is not that great, "absent" or "uninterested" would be nice ways to describe them. She calls my parents mum and dad, and she even comes to all our extended family gatherings. My grandparents always make sure they have extra presents at Christmas in case her family excludes her each year.
The first wedding was to a great guy who I loved just as much as I love her. Despite this I didn't think their marriage was a good idea but she was happy and I love her, so I went along with it. In the car on the way to the wedding venue, she turned to me and asked if she should go through with it. Me being an idiot was like "but we are already on our way". Even my dad, who was driving the car there, offered to take us to literally anywhere else but my stupid comment had made her decide to go through with it. Fast forward just over a year and they got a divorce. I still love them both, but I regret letting them get married because they spiralled into a toxic mess of adultery and depression. He came out of it really well, getting a new job and rising to a managers role and generally getting his shit sorted. My best friend however... things just never seemed to go right for her again.
Fast forward another year and she tells me her new boyfriend, who had left his wife and child for her, had proposed to her and she asked if I will be her MOH again.
Now this new guy is awful, regularly let's her down, quits any and every job he gets because it is a hassle, got both of them arrested at Christmas because he decided to assault someone and she got in the middle to try stop it, has a tendency to disappear for days on drug fueled road trips and has driven away most of her friends. So I told her in great length, how I couldn't support her in this. My family and I will always love her and remain one of her greatest supports, but I cannot stand him and will not support anything that ties her to him. She now goes through phases of not talking to me because she is stubborn and doesn't like to hear my opinions of him, and she also likes to think she is a good influence on him and he can change. But when my parents had to go rescue her from a deserted rural road in the middle of the night because he had decided he didn't love her that week, how the f*ck can I possibly approve of that union?
Eavesdropping used to refer to the water dropping from literal eaves on a house. It later became a nickname, "eavesdropper," meaning someone who stood under the eaves to overhear a conversation.
Now, we have eavesdropping, meaning "to listen secretly to what is said in public," and Redditors have heard some pretty f*cked up things in public.
It's often something in passing that seems completely inappropriate even in the right context.
Redditor everlovingburns asked:
"What’s the most f*cked up thing you’ve overheard someone say in public?"
Here are some of the best - or worst - comments depending on how you look at it.
Cussing out a 12-year-old.
"Heard a woman quietly cussing out her daughter at a train station, calling her a b*tch and a sl*t. Daughter couldn't have been older than 12. She was just taking it in. Staring straight ahead, completely silent."
"People wonder why their kids just leave them to die alone and never contact them again as soon as they can leave."
"My mam has done something similar in a really busy train station and pushed me against the wall. No one helped. They just watched it happen and it's a moment that sits in my head rent free. There's plenty of other things she's done and she wonders why we aren't close."
Jim pooped on her lawn.
"'Listen I know Jim is homeless but that doesn't mean he can sh*t on my lawn.'"
"'I'll talk to him.'"
"I'm not homeless, the world is my home! And your yard is my bathroom."
Not the most scientifically accurate statement.
"I was on a Greyhound. A guy a few rows back was loudly talking on the phone about his cheating ex-girlfriend who said she was pregnant. He said that he knew she was lying because she has AIDS and everyone knows that when a person with AIDS gets pregnant, 'The AIDS eats the baby.'"
"Honestly greyhounds are absolutely wild for the stuff you’ll overhear. Entertaining and traumatic in one cheap ticket."
Admitted to killing the dog.
"Woman on her phone calmly telling her boyfriend that she was the one who gave his dogs antifreeze and that he was a wuss for crying over them dying."
"I'm not saying she should've been hit by a car, I'm just saying I would understand if it happened."
"My daughter just had a baby, I must go over and visit.. and poison their dog."
"Is that the lady from the anti freeze in the other comment?"
"Think we solved a few mysteries here on Reddit today."
"'Well dear, I don't care what your thoughts are. I banged your cousin and she is a fire crotch.'"
"I'm not sure how that phone call ended, but I remember passing the guy leaving a restaurant and trying not to die laughing."
"Whatever happens, Christmas dinner with the family won't be boring this year."
At the Cedar Rapids IHOP.
"IHOP, Cedar Rapids, Iowa. 'So the SECOND time I got stabbed...'"
"Man, in an IHOP? That sounds like a Waffle House conversation if I’ve ever heard one."
A boy in hysterics.
"I was in line for a scary ride at a theme park. A little boy was in the row next to me, in hysterics about not wanting to get on. His father was visibly angry, telling him to 'man up.' It was the first time they had gone when the boy was tall enough to ride but it was clear he wasn't mature enough to actually enjoy it. When it came time for them to board, the man dragged the kid to his seat and buckled him in while the kid was screaming. Why they didn't remove them both I'll never understand."
"Former ride operator. I would pull scared little kids off rides because 'I didn't want them to have a medical emergency.'"
"It usually worked. Sometimes they'd call for a supervisor and I'd get the a**hole who wouldn't back me up, but that was rare."
Casual support of Hitler.
"'Hitler should've finished the job.' Russian student to his Polish professor in a Canadian college class."
"If Hitler had finished the job there would be no Russian around lol."
With seven billion people on the planet, we are bound to hear some pretty f*cked up conversations.
Even if you weren't trying to eavesdrop on someone's conversation, this might make you think twice next time you want to overhear someone's conversation.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Unfortunately, we as people are capable of doing some pretty awful things. Worst of all, we are capable of doing said awful things to each other--to other humans, whose suffering we understand above all else.
The drive behind these things is unclear, variable, and sometimes totally absent. But hurt people hurt people. It's as simple as that, and sometimes, we are the unfortunate receptor of that hurt.
Redditor Tomato_Shelf asked:
"Whats the worst thing someone has ever done to you?"
Here were some of those answers.
"My parents divorced when I was 7 (my father had an affair), my father remarried and got a new family, my mother remained single and bitter (she still loved him)."
"They always used to argue about whose turn it was to have me, they were trying to spite each other but the only thing that actually happened was that I realised neither of them must of loved me."
"One Christmas Eve when I was 14 they were having the same argument, my dad and his new family were staying in a hotel and told my mum they hadn’t booked a room for me, I walked to my mums and she said it was my dads turn to have me and locked me out."
"I slept in a car park fire hose (it didn’t actually have a fire hose in it). I was so scared and cold (skinny kid) I knew I couldn’t ask my friends to stay because it was Christmas Eve and already close to midnight by this point, I started to cry when the snow started falling at about 3am."
"I wish I had known back then that I could have just called the police but my juvenile brain didn’t know that, I went to live in a children’s home shortly after that and honestly I loved it, I still think of my key worker like my dad, he was great."-ILoveMyCatsSoMuch
Dad Needs Therapy
"Was early high school. Joking around with my father, horrid temper, switch flipped with him."
"He chased me down the hallway, thought we even playing till he pinned me down, hand around my throat strangling me till I passed out."
"Burst blood vessels in my eyes. Had to wear sunglasses for a good week to hide em while at work or elsewhere."-MisterJ33
Bamboozled By Family
"My 60 year old mother in law wanted to sign her house over to us because she has no retirement and no money saved. My wife was pregnant with our second child and she told us she wanted to be a stay at home grandma."
"I would be coming in and paying for everything. So we sold our house, paid off our debt, and cut a check for 54,000.00 dollars to her ex husband, which paid off the house in full."
"Then I made 10,000.00 dollars worth of home repairs. All bills were transferred in my name. When it came to sign the deal, suddenly she didn't want to do it. Told us she wanted things to go back to the way they were."
"My father in law told her well then we need to take out a home equity loan to give then their money back. She refused. The next week she served us an eviction notice and moved her boyfriend she claimed was abusive to her back in 2 days later."
"She threw her own daughter, my 3 year old, and my 3 month old baby on the streets. We tried to reason with her and then she had her lawyer threaten us with a restraining order."
"So now I'm suing her for my money back. Luckily my father in law is on our side and we were able to stay with him for the time being."-BananaSmoothie95
These stories really make you want to trust nobody.
She's The Ex For A Reason
"My ex wife made me believe I was making up all the proof that she was having an affair.. for a couple years."
"I went through therapy and anger management, accepted that I was just a f**ked up person and should have never disrespected my loving wife by accusing her of such things. She pushed all the help on me, praised me, etc."
"Two weeks after we divorced, she cheated on the guy she was dating(another affair dude) with me and admitted to everything. I kicked her out my house immediately."-elagentink
"My stepdad stole two houses, two cars, a scooter and a boat from us when my mother died. He then proceeded to commit perjury and tell the judge that he was broke because he paid me and my sister 60,000 each."
"This got him out of a loan that he had from my aunt, who loaned my mother hundreds of thousands of euro's so she could buy a house."
"Basically he did so much acrobatics that i didn't even get my own bed or clothes back, and he ended up with everything that could remotely be stamped as my mother's property."
"Overall, the worth of everything he stole (not just from my side of the family, but his EX WIFE that he got back to later) is upwards of half a million."
"His wife then ALSO DIES and he takes whatever's left. My lawyer told me i couldn't do anything since now two wives of his died in a three year span and there was no way a judge would look at him and say he owes anyone anything."
"Honestly i think he married my mom and then killed her. The same with his then-ex-but-current-after wife who also died rather quickly."-Toasted_pinapple
The Worst Kind Of Feeling
"Freshman year of college i met a girl and we became best friends. We did everything together. Then one day in class she told me she didn't want to talk she wanted to read. Thats was fine of course. She did that two more days."
"The fourth day she moved her seat from next to me to across the room. I tried to get her attention to talk but she avoided me. Next week we both happened to be washing our hands in the bathroom together."
"I said hi. She acted like i never existed. Soon she left the college. I went to grad school 3 years later (somewhere 2 hrs away) and lo and behold she was in my class."
"We were assigned the same group for a project. She looked uncomfortable and the next time class met, i found that she had dropped it. I never saw her again."
"It hurt me deeply because I had no clue why she did this. We didn't fight. Im not manipulative or catty or anything. This wasn't the worst thing to happen but it definitely ranked up there."-ghostiesontoasties
It reminds you to be thankful of the people you DO still keep around, and reminds you there's probably a reason you have.
The Family Is Often More Worth It
"Dated a woman for a time and eventually got involved with her teen kids and acted in a step parent role for years. Invested tons of my time, energy, and resources into them as a family."
"Then my GF went into a spell of depression and didn't want to do anything or talk about anything. Life went on around her, then when she saw me spending time with the kids instead of sitting on the couch doing and saying nothing like her, she became pathologically jealous and started accusing me of 'having too much interest in young girls.'"
"I spend a LONG time trying to fix and salvage the situation as I felt we were all bonded together as a family. Paid out of pocket for counseling for us, and for her exclusively for a long time after the therapist determined the focus of the problem was not me."
"She NEVER accepted responsibility for her claim and the effects it had. Thought she could just casually dismiss it at will, like she'd claimed I left the toilet seat up one time; thought I was making a 'big deal' out of everything."
"She never spent a second addressing the childhood traumas that openly affected her whenever there was a pinch, even invoking them as an excuse for acting how she did, then pretending they were fixed or nonexistent the 99% of the time she did NOT need to use them to manipulate the situation at hand."
"Finally had to walk away from the situation. Started dating someone else (who was a college debate coach with a PhD in English, night and day communication and interaction styles!) and she acted like 'I abandoned her,' even cheated when I made good on my promise to leave without effort on her part."
"Now a long time later I still hear from one of the boys who is now in his 30s and just had a baby. At least 2 of my exes grown children don't even talk to her at this point. I never tried to assemble a family again, but have had a VERY fulfilling love life since."-MentORPHEUS
"The girl I had a crush on when I was 8 only pretended to be my friend because she wanted to get embarrassing secrets out of me."
"She then spread them around and became one of the popular girls and I was horrendously bullied for years to come. Worst thing is we had after-school English in middle school together again and she was like 'hey why do you not talk to me' etc.."
"The b*tch made a solid quarter of my life hell and just forgot about it. I'm scarred for life and she will never remember it let alone feel bad about it."-New_General_6287
Shedding Old To Make Space For New
"The beginning of my junior year of high school I had a friend group that I shared a lot of good times with in years past. There were four guys (including me) and three girls, and we did nearly everything together. Toward the end of the year, they began to cut me off and hang out without me, lying about it, and overall just flat out excluding me."
"The whole while I was being told that nothing was wrong and I hadn’t done anything for this kind of treatment to occur, it was just scheduling conflicts or whatever. Nevertheless, I would continue to make attempts to organize things together, but was always ignored or given a lie."
"The final straw came after the end of that school year. I had always wanted to organize a float trip for the seven of us but there was never much interest from anyone else. Sure enough, a few weeks into summer before my senior year there were posts from the six of them on a float trip."
"I was so hurt to this point already that I finally cut myself off from continuing to ask and wonder why I was being disposed of. The way they treated me ate away at my mental health through the summer and into my senior year. I’d see some of them in class and they still would attempt to be chummy, but I reciprocated only enough to be cordial."
"I carried the weight of having my closest friends all up and abandon me with no reason for many years, and I attribute their mistreatment of me to many of the mental health and self-worth issues I still struggle with to this day."
"I still do see the occasional photo of all them together, and they were back in my hometown for the holidays at the same time as me, but thankfully I no longer yearn to be included nor do I expect an apology."
"They were/are incapable of seeing any wrongdoing on their part. It took me a bit to realize how narcissistic a good portion of them were, and the others were too timid to speak out against anything. I have a fantastic group of friends around me now that treat me thousands of times better than they ever did."-logan95
The only common thread through all of these misfortunes is that each of these people is here, afterward, to tell the tale.
That doesn't always happen--and when it does, it's very valuable to be able to see the thing that may have deeply affected you happened to someone else, too.
Hardly any human is ever, if at all, alone. And ultimately that makes up the defining piece of our human experience.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Confession: I could never make it through Mulan 2. The reason? Mushu.
In the original movie he was voiced by Eddie Murphy, but in Mulan 2 he is voiced by an actor attempting to recreate Eddie Murphy's voice. Yeah, no.
The actor was lovely, I'm sure, but Eddie has one of the most easily recognizable voices in the world, Mulan was wildly successful (in large part because of Mushu) and you're just not gonna get away with faking that.
Reddit user pokeboy626 asked:
"Which celebrity voices are instantly recognizable?"
And it immediately made me feel some type of way thinking about the injustice of Mushu and Mulan 2. Let's see who else Reddit thinks is irreplaceable for real, not in the Beyonce way.
The Voice Of Godmorgan freeman i'm god GIFGiphy
"You are now reading this in Morgan Freemans' voice."
"You're not sure why, but the calm long syllables merge together as words - forming sentences in your mind. You did not seek this, but you got it."
"Oh how you got it."
"I’m not sure how many ATL rap fans there are reading this, but rapper 21 Savage got Morgan f*cking Freeman to narrate throughout his most recent album, 'Savage Mode 2' and it’s one of the most bad@ss flexes I’ve ever seen in music."
"Such a great piece of work. It feels like a movie at times."
"Recently watched Shawshank Redemption for the first time. I didn't realize the entire movie is narrated by him."
"Easily one of the best films I have ever seen."
"He's the voice of God. Nuff said."
That Awkward Moment When The Celeb RespondsArnold Schwarzenegger Smile GIFGiphy
"Arnold Schwarzenegger; specifically his voice going 'Get to the chopper!' "
"I'll be 'bekk.' "
"I think my voice is quite normal."
"Wait it's the actual Schwarzeneggar?!"
"I checked. Oh god it is. Awkward."
"He's had AMAs, it's the Governator himself."
"You clicked on this thread knowing you would be named, didn't ya?"
That's Not His Real Voice!?gilbert gottfried do not want GIF by HULUGiphy
"Have you ever heard his real voice?"
"There was some show where they played a voice mail he left, it might have been Howard stern. Sounds like a totally normal guy."
"I got to meet him after a show one time and he spoke normally."
"Honestly, it was shocking haha. Extremely nice guy though, and it was an absolutely hilarious routine"
"Waow"owen wilson wow GIFGiphy
"It’s more of a 'waow' ”
"I swear, I was having trouble hearing it in my head until I saw your spelling and suddenly it just clicked."
The Voice Makes That CharacterUnderstanding Emperors New Groove GIFGiphy
"Kronk! Voiced by Patrick Warburton."
" 'Oh right the poison.' "
" 'The poison for Kuzco' ”
Obviouslyjustin bieber GIFGiphy
"I can't imagine ANYONE else who could have done a better job as Marvin in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy."
"One evening I was walking in midtown Manhattan and Alan Rickman was walking with friends about 30 feet behind me. I knew the voice instantly."
"During an interview I heard, he said he was told in acting school that he would never be a great actor because his voice work was so poor. And yet, voice is what made him unique."
MufasaStar Wars GIFGiphy
"James Earl Jones."
"Probably the most recognizable one. Especially since in most movies you only hear his voice and don’t see him."
"My kids were floored last week when I informed them Darth Vader and Mufasa were the same guy, as we watched The Lion King."
Ms. Schallgravity falls GIFGiphy
"Mabel and Louise!! Two of my favorites."
"I scrolled way too far to find this answer."
"Most voices take a few moments to click. She's just so very recognizable."
" 'We sent FIVE HUNDRED RAVENS!' "
"Her character in What We Do In The Shadows makes me belly laugh. Her annoyance it such subtle comedy."
"I LOVE her in What We do in the Shadows."
"Hssssss. We sent 500 RAVENS!?"
Creative Cursing ASMR
"She has a really husky voice that’s pretty unique, I generally recognize her voice almost instantly in her roles."
"I would pay real money for her to release a GPS voice as Crisjen Avasaralla."
" ‘What is this, f*cking amateur hour? Take your d*ck out of your hand and turn the f*cking car before I die of old age.’ 😂 "
"Listening to her creative cursing in 'The Expanse' is my ASMR."
"I don't think I've ever heard a voice more distinct than hers. Instantly recognizable. I want her to read me a book."
"Came here looking for this answer!"
"Admiral Raan in Mass Effect 2 & 3, Avasarala in The Expanse, Grayson in Arcane, she has a voice like well-aged scotch, it’s amazing."
We Love NickSeason 3 Episode 13 GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"I feel like every now and again I’ll be watching some kids movie and a character he voices will show up and I’ll immediately recognize his voice."
"My husband and I had a bet on if Nick Offerman was the voice of the logo "Fremulon" after Brooklyn 99 episodes."
"He SWORE it was, and turns out he was right. I was so impressed."
"Watching Lego Movie the very first time I was like 'That is clearly Nick Offerman doing a caricaturic pirate accent' and boy was that an easy call or what."
What celebrity voice is completely unmistakable in your mind? Sound off in the comments.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Men. Why are you so difficult to shop for?
Guys are always like... "anything" or "whatever." It matters guys, make some decisions.
You know you want things, it's ok to admit it.
Now people have had to cobble together a "best of" idea gift list.
That's how many people are lost in trying to shop for y'all.
Redditor bigpimp0 wanted to know the best gift ideas for all the boys, by asking:
"What are good gifts for men?"
Gift cards, cash, liquor. Always good ideas. A better idea would be to get to know the guy you're shopping for, just a thought. let's think...
"WD40" ~ Zatknish007
"It's never not a good gift. Think about some random Tuesday in March. Someone gives you a gift of WD40 and you're a happy camper." ~ BurnedOutStars
"What actually really helps is Etsy. Go there and type in something they like (like One piece), and a bunch of cool things will come up. There's a One Piece weed grinder, if they smoke; there's a One Piece shadow lamp that looks cool; many various other things."
"It helps if you have a secondary noun to search for (one piece blanket, poster, shirt, ornament, sword, toy, etc), just come up with something they will use and get a one piece version of that. Cooking/working out is a little harder as they are mildly vague interests. Maybe some cookout gear or utensils for their grill." ~ TheRealOcsiban
"Got my bf a beard care set for his birthday and he loved it." ~ Mikachu09
"Honest Amish premium beard oil is hands down the absolute best beard oil you will find. Detroit Grooming Company also makes the best smelling beard butters as well. Both are on Amazon, check them out." ~ JustAnotherDude1990
"High quality THICK ribeyes. Maybe even some a5 wagyu. I ordered some from CrowdCow. It comes frozen so you can just keep it in your freezer until you give it to him." ~ iflexnuts_
"Oh, yeah I used to order really high quality steaks from one of those online places that pack and ship when I could not think of anything else for my dad! If y’all are on the left of the political spectrum Penzey’s spices are really good and they make gift boxes with some of their popular combo’s. (They donate to a lot of democratic causes and were very vocally anti Trump so just in case I wanted to let you know.)" ~ artichoke_dreams
"Tools. Nothing super expensive, but a good quality buy-it-for-life hand tool is the best. They'll appreciate it even if they already have one!" ~ yParticle
"Buy tools from the electrician section, screw drivers and wire clippers are of a much higher quality." ~ Dumguy1214
Interesting. WD40? I would flip out on someone. But that is me.
"The lazy option would be money. However, there isn't a good gift specifically for a man, only a good gift for that individual. For example, if this man is into his gaming, maybe get him a new controller or something??" ~ BigArnie02
$50 or something...
"I really like the subscription gift ideas. I’ve gotten a few and loved them, although I never personally continued any of the services. I find a quick 3-month promo is perfect as a gift. These days you can do craft beer and wines, jerky, other meat products, honestly you name it. I was always so excited to get my monthly shipment of craft beer for the few months the gift was in effect (Xmas maybe 3 years ago) and I think it only set my brother back like $50 or something." ~ tykogars
7 months since...
"Personally the best gift I’ve gotten is my best friend drove 200km to see me on my birthday I live alone in the city and don’t really know many people so having someone there was pretty awesome, it had also been 7 months since I had seen her( edit right the point just be there for them I guess)." ~ DansDailyDepression
"A massage, a guest membership to a gym, a gift card to detail their vehicle, a new set of awesome sheets. One of those fancy White cotton robes. A gift card for a haircut. Hire some landscapers to clean the front and rear lawn. Come on you guys." ~ WolfThick
'keep it simple'
"Depends on the guy, I always love to give gifts that people wouldn’t think to buy themselves.If the man isn’t a smart watch person, I really support getting a nice-looking watch. Men typically aren’t that excited about clothes, but watches are a great gateway into fashion."
"Go seiko, Casio, orient for reasonable options under $100. I have issues with MVMT and other heavily marketed watches, they’re overpriced and not made very well. For the geek in your life, battery banks and cables for their devices are very handy, personally I’ve never gotten stoked about picking one up, but great to have in the car or travel pack if you need them."
"For more of a 'keep it simple' guy, glasses for drinks are awesome. Decorations or posters of shIt they like (guys often don’t do much wall decorating). Other safe bets include informational reading material. Cook books, how to build stuff, how to make cocktails, interesting facts, topics of interest. Books get a lot of mileage when they are specifically useful." ~ Die_woofer
"It depends what he's into. Sports memorabilia? A nice bottle of whisky? Subscription to a magazine? Lego? Cinema pass? A lightsaber from Sabertrio? Nice pair of boots? A new BBQ? Novelty slippers? Aftershave? A house plant? There's no "one size fits all" gift unfortunately." ~ GarethOfQuirm
Ok, so we have a place to start. Get the Amex ready. Time to get crazy!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.