Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the greatest love of our lives. The wedding party should be full of people who are there to share and celebrate that love with you. When you think of it that way, it's easy to see why people consider being asked to be in a wedding party a huge honor - but what happens when it's an honor they don't want or can't accept?
One Reddit user asked:
Have you ever been asked to be a bridesmaid and declined the offer? If so, why did you decline and how did you tell the bride?
The stories often revolve around a lack of funds, being a bridesmaid can be expensive. But there are a few here who said no for totally different reasons. Some hated the soon-to-be-spouse, one didn't feel like climbing a mountain, and one person got asked by someone they'd literally never even heard of before.
Here are some of our favorite answers.
She asked, and thus ended up being one of the first people I told I was pregnant. I couldn't even go to the wedding—I lived 500 miles away and on the wedding day I was 8 months pregnant on no-travel orders. Baby was born 2 weeks later.
Bride was excited, not angry.
Over a decade later I am still sad I missed that wedding though—so many of our friends and families have not all been together since.
Four Hundred Dollars
I was a broke college student that had my own bills to pay on a student worker part time wage. She expected me to buy my own dress, and the one she picked out was $400 and refused to change to a cheaper one. I literally made $400 per month so there was no way I could afford it. She got mad and has not talked to me since, which does not bother me because she was being extremely selfish.
Win, Win, Win
I've said no at least three times because I absolutely hate being a bridesmaid. But each time I've offered to play violin for the ceremony instead. All three times I was taken up on the offer.
Saved me the expense of being a bridesmaid, saved the bride $ on music for the ceremony (I always played these weddings for free), and I still got to be an important part of the event. Win, win, win.
Accessibility Is An Issue
I told her I wasn't even going to be able to attend the wedding because of health issues. She had selected an out-of-state rural location that was not accessible for my wheelchair. I wouldn't have been able to afford the trip to begin with anyway. She got upset and said I was just being cruel.
I guess she talked to someone else or had time to calm down and called me the next day apologizing for accusing me if trying to ruin her special day. I mean I had been dealing with the same health issues long before she got engaged or even started dating the man she was about to marry. Also, asking someone in a wheelchair to attend a wedding in the forest off a hiking trail with no easy access isn't well thought out is it?
I Don't Even Know You
Had a girl I had never met or heard of before call and ask me to be her bridesmaid.
She was a friend of a friend whom I had helped out years before by being a bridesmaid and doing all her flowers and such because that friend wasn't very well off. Apparently this girl thought I was some sort of volunteer paratrooper bridesmaid florist? It was very weird.
I told her that I couldn't because:
A) I didn't know her
B) I was going to have a three week old baby at the time if my due date was correct and didn't want to drive 8 hours with a newborn.
She seemed ok with this and hung up, only to call again a few minutes later to ask if I was refusing because he was so much older than her and I was being judgmental and I said no, because I literally knew none of this because I do not know you. I have never heard of either you or your fiance before. Which is - again- the major reason I would not be your bridesmaid...
I wished her every happiness and hung up.
My sister asked me to be her Maid of Honor and i declined. She was like "What the heck, why?!" I told her "Youre just asking me to be nice and because you think its the right thing to do. But I'm not your best friend. Jocelyn is your best friend, and she should be your maid of honor." My sister cried and said what a good sister i was. So i guess i demoted myself to bridesmaid.
Birth And Death
My sister had a destination wedding in the beginning of August of this year. I have three sisters, and the one getting married is the youngest one. All of the sisters would be bridesmaids (plus like 5 of her best friends). Problem was, I got pregnant and my baby was due in the middle of June. Fortunately, she was also pregnant and due in March, and she totally understood. The timing was so borderline. If he was born on his due date, he would only be 7 weeks old by the wedding. They recommend waiting until two weeks after the 6 weeks vaccinations to fly, but they could do the vaccinations as early as 4 weeks. If he was early, we might be able to make it. If he was late, maybe not. This was also my first child, so I had NO clue what to expect. Maybe it would be chaos and traveling was a horrible idea. I just had no way of knowing.
As it turned out, I had an induction 5 weeks early due to a medical emergency. I missed all of the wedding planning stuff due to being sick and then having a newborn. But baby was healthy, really easygoing, and it was looking like I was going to be able to go. Not only that, but my husband wanted to take two weeks of his parental leave so that we could take a family vacation just the three of us. We were going to island hop for two weeks, visit one of his friends, etc. We were so excited. I told my husband that I would book our travel and accommodations for Oahu first (where my sister was getting married) and the rest of the trip was up to him. I was down for whatever. I bought my bridesmaid dress and booked our travel. Everything was coming up Millhouse.
Then my husband passed away suddenly two and a half weeks before the wedding. Obviously I was a total f*cking wreck. But literally all of my family was going to Hawaii for the wedding. My in-laws live across the country from me. Nobody wanted me to be left alone so they insisted baby and I still come to Hawaii. One of my sisters helped me cancel my husband's flight, move mine so that I wouldn't have to travel alone, cancel my accommodations and crash in their room with the baby.
Now, I thought it was obvious I wasn't going to be in the wedding anymore. I thought I didn't have to have that conversation. It was already always up in the air whether I would be able to attend the wedding at all, let alone be a bridesmaid. I thought it would be clear that a wedding would be really f*cking hard for me as it is. I didn't want to ruin all the videos and pictures with my thousand yard stare, running mascara, and bags under my eyes.
Well, it just never occurred to my baby sister that I wasn't still one of her 8 bridesmaids. God love her, she is amazing and thoughtful and the most loving and sweet person I know. But she just had a lot going on and she probably hadn't thought about it.
The day of the rehearsal, I put the baby in a stroller and hoofed it from the resort. We walked around Waikiki and I tried to not be desperately miserable behind sunglasses. I took pictures of my son with the Duke Kahanamoku statue, bought and ate a rapidly melting pineapple soft serve cone, and window shopped. My parents called me and told me to come back to the hotel so we could "go shopping" so I sighed and went back. When I got there, they were like, OK we're going to the rehearsal. I said, uh you guys are, I'm not. They said, "[your sister] wants you there."
I thought it was weird, but I went. And I sat in the back with the baby while everyone chatted and got directed around. Then the wedding coordinator kept making references to where I'll be standing and sitting, etc. All the bridesmaids and groomsmen and my sister and brother in law were standing fanned out up front, when the wedding coordinator started talking about where in the order I will be standing during the wedding (mind you, at this point I'm sitting in the third row with my baby).
So I said flatly, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a bridesmaid." And my sister, standing where the bride stands in front of everyone says, "yes you are."
And I said, "I thought you knew I wasn't going to be. I didn't have time to get my dress hemmed. I didn't even bring my dress."
I don't remember what happened after that except for they reset to do the whole march again and I picked up my baby and walked away to sob behind some bushes. Once I got all my sh!t together I went back and watched the rest of the rehearsal. Afterwards I immediately went back to the room, where one of my sister's friends was working on handwritten name cards.
That friend was the first people who had donated to a GoFundMe after my husband died, so as soon as I parked my stroller in the room I started crying and thanking her. She gave me a big hug and I told her about how I had a mega meltdown during the rehearsal, and she held me and told me it was OK, that it's understandable. My sister walked into the room while I was crying and she gave me a big hug. I told her that I was sorry, I messed up her rehearsal, and I should have told her I wasn't going to be her bridesmaid. She said it was OK, she wasn't mad.
SO yeah. That's how that went. The wedding was hard for me, but I was happy for my sister. She still included me as much as I was willing to be included. She still had my makeup and hair done, and I was in her video a little and in family photos. During the reception my sister and BIL gave a speech, and she gave a shout out to my husband and I ugly cried. Anyway, I'm still glad that I went. I love my sister, she was there for me when I had my baby and she was there for me when my husband died. I wish I could have been there for her during her wedding, but I did the best that I could. Super glad I wasn't a bridesmaid, though.
My then-boyfriend's brother's fiance asked me to be her maid of honor. It was a shotgun wedding due to her pregnancy but it was also about 6 weeks away. I barely knew her and thought it was really weird. I told her she should choose someone she's known longer and has a deeper connection with or perhaps a family member. I also pointed out that if my bf and I broke up, she would probably hate having me in their wedding photos. That's got a weird reaction from everyone involved.
Chubby Bride, Chubby Friends
I turned down an opportunity to be in a wedding party on the summit of Longs Peak in Colorado. Start hiking at 3 am so we could be off the summit before the afternoon lightening storms killed us. Sounds great! (actually sounds awful, let's be real.)
All of us were in sh!t shape, bride especially. WTF were they thinking? I heard later that it was absolutely miserable. I guess it turned out so badly that multiple people dropped out of the hike. We didn't get the full story for months. Lots of minor injuries and they didn't make it to the summit until noon.
No one could tell her it was a stupid idea.
This was long before social media. I shudder to think what she could have come up with in the age of social media. They would been dropping on to the summit with parachutes.
Yes, they divorced in a few years.
I have no idea why a chubby bride thought her chubby friends would all enjoy hiking up a 14K foot mountain for a sunrise wedding.
By The Neck
Yes....I declined because I saw the groom to be picking up the bride by her neck. We were young, we were out clubbing, I don't know why these two were even trying to get married, this was back in say, 1998. Anyway, groom-to-be picks up bride by the neck, I call cops, they come arrest him, she bails him out same night. It was about 3 or 4 months later that they were getting married and she asked me to be the maid of honor! No can do I told her, I told her the truth. And she was okay with it.
They were over within a year. I just remember she was crying and so embarrassed that she had just gotten all these gifts for the wedding, and that all those people who came to her wedding would find out that it was all for nothing. As far as I know she moved back in with her parents for a while, she was quite young.
Yes. Bride asked me to be a bridesmaid on a Wednesday. Wedding was on a Saturday. Across the country. She claimed she had 'asked my dad to tell me' (I don't even live with him anymore) and spent years without talking to me after I declined.
Not a big loss.
I had a friend from high school ask me to be her maid of honor. I said yes, but I was worried about the money. I bought the dress, started planning her shower and she was already hounding me about her bachelorette party, even though she was four months away from getting married. Bridal shower went well in my opinion, until the bride kept making side comments about how there weren't enough games, or prizes. (I was recently unemployed and didn't have money, but my parents were helping.) I had planned four games, and I thought that was fair. She also said the food wasn't good enough either, and spent the entire time talking to her other friends and ignoring me.
The next day she messages me saying we need to meet and plan her bachelorette party. She wanted all the bridesmaids to come over and have dinner. Well, night of the dinner I was really sick. I have a lot of health concerns and she was aware of them, but still got mad at me. Keep in mind I had been planning and trying to accommodate her requests for the bachelorette party while also making it feasible. She wanted an over night weekend get away in a air B&B and it would have been like $300 per person or something like that. I tried to convince her it wasn't feasible and wanted to plan something else. I found something else to do, but hadn't told her about it yet.
She messaged me later that night saying how disappointed she was that I wasn't being a good maid of honor, and that she shouldn't have to plan her own bachelorette party, and she basically yelled at me and said that I was a terrible friend because I did not do what she wanted exactly. Our entire friendship she always made it about herself, and I had distanced myself from her recently, and so I was surprised she asked me to be her MOH. After that message I was like fine, I'm done. And I quit her wedding.
We are no longer friends, and When we met in person to discuss it she blew up at me for not being there for her, that I was ruining her special day, and that she wasn't getting what she wanted. I knew I had done nothing wrong and she was being a bridezilla. Their wedding recently happened and I could care less. She was a toxic person and I don't need that negativity. Sure I feel bad about it, but I also know I needed to stand up for myself as our entire friendship she always walked over me.
My half sister asked me to be her bridesmaid at her extravagant, not small wedding. All good, until I was told she wasn't inviting my dad, because he 'wasn't her family' despite financially supporting her for 15 years while her dad refused to pay any parental contribution.
I wanted nothing to do with the wedding after that. I attended, and went to bed very swiftly after I had a free meal.
To this day, my sister is still very standoffish and rude to my dad. It's caused no end of drama in our house, but I love my dad to pieces and I will always stick up for him and all the amazing things he's helped us achieve and experience even as adults. He's a very wonderful man.
My ex husband's sister had asked me to be her bridesmaid. I declined because it was shortly after his affair and there was a lot of bad blood between his family and me. It was really heartbreaking to do; we had been best friends for years prior. Unfortunately, we no longer speak.
You're Not Missing This
Not the wedding, but the bachelor party. My brother was getting married and both bride and groom were having parties in Nashville. My wife and I have massive student loan debt and as a result had to file for bankruptcy as we had exhausted all possible solutions to paying other bills. Trust me we aren't proud of it and are working very hard to make sure we do better in the future. Anyway, my brother chose Nashville and all his friends are older and well established. As a result they had no problem paying, I on the other hand could not afford it since I have two young kids with fall/ winter birthdays, so we were trying to save as much as we could for birthdays/ Christmas. So I send a note to my brother and his buddy who are planning this whole thing. I politely word everything and make sure they know that we just cannot afford it at this time. I wished them well and to have fun.
Email sent, there done. Worst part, over. No sooner did I send the email then a reply came back from his buddy. "Hell no you aren't missing this, I will pay for both your hotel stays but you aren't missing out." On top of that my brother starts a fund and gives me $100 toward the weekend so that I can do. So now I feel like shit and totally obligated to go, thanks guys. Weekend in October comes, I go on trip, have a mixed time, some good some bad, but overall a decent weekend.
My brother and I are still really close and still confide in each other, but I will never let anyone pay for me like that again. Overall, I think it led to a weekend trip that I just couldn't enjoy because I knew I had't paid for the better part of it and it sat with me the whole time. Even to this day, two years later, I still feel guilty when I see my brothers friend.
Groomsman Or Nothing
A friend of a friend asked me to be a groomsman at his wedding. I thought it was odd because we only ever saw one another when we were hanging out with our mutual friend. I don't even remember if I ever met his fiance.
At the time my wife was pregnant and due to give birth right around the time of the wedding and also I had just gotten a job again after being unemployed and was trying to catch back up on finances so paying for a tux wasn't an exciting prospect. I declined and told him I didn't want to leave them in a lurch if my wife ended up going into labor because it was such an important day for them. I thanked him for inviting me and told him I would attend the wedding but this way at least they weren't depending on me.
He understood and was fine with it but called me a couple days later, clearly embarrassed and told me his fiance was furious and had disinvited me from the wedding.
They ended up getting divorced a few years later.
Yes, but I ended up being one anyway because A) she wouldn't take no for an answer, and B) I didn't have the courage to give a hard and fast NO.
I was actually surprised when she asked me because we hardly ever spoke or spent time together anymore. We met freshman year of college and were only kind of close then. But I suppose friendships can continue on through distance (both physical and emotional), and I also suppose my friendship with her meant more than I considered.
I was just moving home after a dramatic life event and was low on cash and felt somewhat depressed and also just did not feel close enough to her to accept that role. I explained that I wasn't sure if it would work and since it's such a big responsibility, maybe I should let her select someone else because I don't want to be a wishy washy flaky bridesmaid. She continued to call and ask me about it so I finally said ok, albeit reluctantly.
The wedding is long over and we are barely in touch. I probably should have had the courage to say "No, thank you," and mean it very firmly.
Back To Portugal
My childhood best friend never asked, just assumed I would be the MOH. She planned a destination wedding in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, which she tried to sell as a wedding in Portugal but was actually a small island without any real economy just because it was convenient for her family. She explained to me that tickets were "only 500 dollars out of Chicago" - which they aren't and oh yea, I don't live in Chicago. So... not really relevant or useful information, Bride. But thanks.
She graduated college with a degree she couldn't use, had no real work ethic and no money to her own name - but she spent a lot of time explaining to me how to spend my own money and PTO. Her mom paid for the whole thing in that location because it would be cheap and convenient and to make herself feel better about marrying her daughter off to a loser (they forced him into a proposal) so her mom could move back to Portugal.
Just Say Goodbye To Him
My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor and at the time I said yes, but later on down the road closer to the wedding, I had to back out. My grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 6 weeks out from the wedding. I called her to tell her that he was dying and that I wasn't going to make it to her wedding and her response was:
"My grandmother died and I'm still getting married. You already agreed to this, just say goodbye to him and be here."
He ended up dying the Monday after the wedding weekend. I will never regret backing out to spend time with him and I will also never regret writing her off completely.
She Thinks She Can Change Him
I said no to being MOH at my best friends second wedding.
My best friend is basically a part of my family. Her own is not that great, "absent" or "uninterested" would be nice ways to describe them. She calls my parents mum and dad, and she even comes to all our extended family gatherings. My grandparents always make sure they have extra presents at Christmas in case her family excludes her each year.
The first wedding was to a great guy who I loved just as much as I love her. Despite this I didn't think their marriage was a good idea but she was happy and I love her, so I went along with it. In the car on the way to the wedding venue, she turned to me and asked if she should go through with it. Me being an idiot was like "but we are already on our way". Even my dad, who was driving the car there, offered to take us to literally anywhere else but my stupid comment had made her decide to go through with it. Fast forward just over a year and they got a divorce. I still love them both, but I regret letting them get married because they spiralled into a toxic mess of adultery and depression. He came out of it really well, getting a new job and rising to a managers role and generally getting his shit sorted. My best friend however... things just never seemed to go right for her again.
Fast forward another year and she tells me her new boyfriend, who had left his wife and child for her, had proposed to her and she asked if I will be her MOH again.
Now this new guy is awful, regularly let's her down, quits any and every job he gets because it is a hassle, got both of them arrested at Christmas because he decided to assault someone and she got in the middle to try stop it, has a tendency to disappear for days on drug fueled road trips and has driven away most of her friends. So I told her in great length, how I couldn't support her in this. My family and I will always love her and remain one of her greatest supports, but I cannot stand him and will not support anything that ties her to him. She now goes through phases of not talking to me because she is stubborn and doesn't like to hear my opinions of him, and she also likes to think she is a good influence on him and he can change. But when my parents had to go rescue her from a deserted rural road in the middle of the night because he had decided he didn't love her that week, how the f*ck can I possibly approve of that union?
Be it to a foreign country on the other side of the world, or merely a town a few miles north or south of you, there is always a slightly uneasy feeling of being in a new place.
Sometimes, however, you don't only suffer from homesickness upon arriving, but find yourself genuinely scared.
Perhaps you don't find yourself particularly welcome by the residents, or there are no people to be seen for miles around.
Either way, there are places all over the world where not long after arriving, the only thing on the minds of visitors was to get out of there as fast as they could.
Redditor 8-tentacles was curious to learn the places fellow Reddit users would never set foot in again under any circumstances, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest town/city you’ve been to, and why?"
"I ended up driving through this tiny town in the middle of Nevada that I assume used to be a mining town."
"It looked like a steady paycheck hadn't been seen in this town for 20 years, the houses were all dilapidated, and the locals looked just as worn out."
"Bullet holes and burn marks could be seen on pretty much every building."
"The only reason I drove through the town instead of just sticking to the main road was to top up on gas, but I couldn't find anything, not even a small convenience store."
"It must've been hell for those folks considering the closest town with an actual store and gas was around 70 miles away."
"I took a look via Google Earth, at some of the towns people mentioned and I found it!"
'Definitely not a place I'd want to go back to."
"Everyone talks about Gary, IN, but there is a town over the border in Illinois called Harvey, IL."
"I can't put my finger on exactly what makes it worse, but being there felt like I was on the moon."- theredditforwork
El Alto, Bolivia
"El Alto Bolivia."
"This was 15 years ago at least."
"It's above the habitable zone, and locals were openly fighting in the streets."
"Good times."- ooo-ooo-oooyea
Somewhere in New Mexico...
"I stopped at some gas station out in the middle of where-the-f*ck, New Mexico, only to pee."
"Parking lot not even completely paved.'
"My SO stayed behind in the car, and our son, so I have no corroborating witnesses, but this was the weirdest f*cking place of business I ever stepped into."
"Some David Lynch level sh*t."
"First of all, this place was huge for no obvious reason."
"As far as I know, there wasn't a town nearby."
"I mean, it was isolated out in the desert."
"When I entered, there was a store in there, like a convenience store."
"I passed through that, and entered a hallway."
"There was a restaurant in there, completely empty."
"I follow the signs to the restroom, and go down this hall."
"It already feels a little creepy to me, and horrifyingly enough, I am navigating to the bathroom by the sound of someone who seems to be puking violently far off down the corridor."
"I could hear this sound echoing down this crazy hallway."
"The hallway has a bend in it, and I'm starting to wonder how f*cking big is this place?"
"I turn the corner, and there is one of those claw grabby machines where you try to pick up stuffed animals and other cheap sh*t, standing in the hall."
"A group of young boys are there, crowded around the machine."
"When I come around the corner, they all look up at me wordlessly, with no trace of joy or excitement or pleasure."
"They just play the game with inscrutable faces, silently, like cats surrounding a mouse."
"The hall continues, and so do I."
"Where the g*ddamned f*ck is the toilet.'
"This hallway is disturbingly long and I've been driving for two and a half days."
"I like my bathrooms simple and direct."
"This does not seem to be either of those things."
"I finally locate the can way the hell down there around another unnecessary corner, and upon entering, I can no longer hear whoever was retching and choking."
"It is now silent, but for the stench so bad it was nearly foggy in there."
"Somebody's feet under the sh*tter door."
"I get out quick."
"Walk past those seemingly soulless and bored boys."
" Why the hell is this hallway even here?"
"There are no doors, no other businesses, these kids are creeping me out in the sinister way they stare blankly at me as I pass."
"I am at a loss to even explain why those kids are here, this place is isolated AF, the hall has too many dark corners and bends in it with no apparent logic."
"It feels like an anxiety dream, it feels like reality itself is being manipulated like the little crane arm claw the one boy is guiding."
"It feels like I want to get out of here, get back outside, get in the car and put this whole place in my rearview mirror."
"So I do."
"I get in the car."
"'Do you feel better now?'"
"'No. Actually I don't'."
"'You shoulda seen this place'."- Alternative-Amoeba20
"Johannesburg, I grew up in a pretty rough city and would say it doesn’t compare to there, you can feel how tense the air is and you really need to pay attention to everything at all times."- Much_Committee_9355
"No, it's not a story of how dangerous it is, or how cops tell you to run red lights ."
"That happens, but it's mostly myths that get perpetuated by people who never visited."
"Gary is just desolate."
"It's almost post apocalyptic."
"Nature has overtaken many areas, and many of the 'vacant' houses you see are actually lived in by homeless people."
"What makes it scary isn't that it has dangerous people, it's that it can be incredibly quiet for a populous city."
"The few times I've had to go through Gary or IN Gary for something, I've always seen something that has frightened me."
"Like people staring at me through half boarded windows, people crawling out of bushes to ask for money, or people just straight up walking in front of your car trying to get you to slow down or stop."
"It's one of the few places in America that actually feels heavy to be in."
"I swear TV shows and movies are missing out on some of the easiest post apocalyptic scenery that they have ever had."- NewAccount971
"My mom and most of her family is from there and the town is just so damn sketchy."
"People being shot the next street over seems like a daily thing."
"My crazy Great Grandma lived in a 4 story house by herself , house had been in the family for a while, and she never locked the doors, just slept with a 9mm next to her bed."- SidtheGoat87
It's sad to hear about these places, and the hard times they've fallen under.
One hopes they might find a way to bounce back one day, and make people excited to visit, rather than avoid them at all costs.
Listen ... we're just gonna be totally honest with you.
The answer is "not much" IF loved ones can come too.
Reddit user benharper09 asked
"Americans of Reddit: What would it take for you to consider moving to Europe to live and work there?"
We don't know if this Reddit user is, like, gathering market data or just really wants to know why Americans don't leave - but here's what Reddit had to say.
Whole Squad Comes With
"My wife and I have discussed moving out of the States, but family keeps us rooted. Maybe when the parents have passed."
"I used to live in Louisiana and it’s a damn nightmare there but when me and my wife found out we were pregnant in 2020 I decided that by 2022 I wouldn’t be in Louisiana anymore raising my child and we let all our family know. There’s still FaceTime and social media and mailing gifts and all that."
"If they want to see him or us in person then they can travel here but I wasn’t staying in hell so he can be near his family. It’ll be better for him to be somewhere that’s not as damn horrible. I literally had fear for my life from about age 10-33 when I moved. Nothing was gonna make me stay and raise my kid with that same fear."
"This is a big one. Our entire support system is either here in town or within 2 hours away."
A Jobhomer simpson job GIFGiphy
"Um, job opportunities? Europe doesn't let you just up and live there if you want to."
"Here in Austria we are currently looking for a large number of people willing to work. Austria has around 150.000 job openings that cannot be filled because there aren't enough people."
"I doubt Americans will fill many, particularly with professional jobs requiring a college degree, as salaries tend to be far high over here."
"There are obviously a few exceptions, but as a general rule I don’t see it happening."
"There are pretty significant differences in cost of living too though, as many European countries have healthcare, childcare, you can actually live in many European cities without owning a car which as I understand it is realistically impossible in the US. Looking at salary v. salary is too simplistic to really compare the buying power you're left with after taxes."
Are We Even Wanted?
"Do they even want us?"
"Not if you are old without money. Or young without skills."
"Yeah. We do. I would welcome Americans with open arms. Though I understand it's hard for most Americans to move to Europe."
"I mean maybe you personally be okay with Americans moving to your country but your immigration laws are not so amenable."
"It's not that Americans don't consider or want to move to Europe as this question implies, we want to but it's not easy to do legally."
"We are strongly considering making the move. My biggest concern is the language barrier. I know some people may speak English as a second language but I wouldn’t want to presume."
Pros Over Cons
"Consider yes. Actually moving to one of the many countries with their pros, cons, and immigration policies is a whole other matter. This kind of thing works best for people who are very young, very rich, or have an employer involved."
"Not Europe, but I looked into Canada for a while and the pros and cons ended up convincing me it wasn't worth it for my family."
"For the last few years this has been an annual discussion my wife and I have. The pros just don’t outweigh the cons yet. Burning a huge amount of money to move away from family and friends to be an outsider in a place where seasonal depression would crush me and cold weather issues would be detrimental to my wife’s health issue along with a lower paying job with fewer prospects for advancement in a place where the cost of living is so much more expensive…it always seems like a good idea until we list out all these things."
"That and Canada seems to be experiencing the same issues the US is - albeit on a much quieter level (which to some degree is often more concerning. Trucker convey tried to happen here and it got egged out of existence with them all fleeing. In Canada everyone stood around and just let it exist. For days. And days.) - which make me realize I might be better off staying put. It also seems wrong for me to be the one to up and move when I am white, straight, and in a decent financial position. My vote, my voice, my donations all make a difference for marginal groups that are fighting. We have a lot of friends in the LGBTQ community and being the ones that got to leave would just kind of haunt me."
Language Barrierseason 10 friends GIFGiphy
"Aside from everything everyone has said is language. I took Spanish for 6 years and maybe understand 10%. I took German for a year and can say hello. I did duelingo polish everyday for six months and got nowhere."
"I've accepted its damn near impossible for me to learn a language. I could sell my house to have the money. I could leave my family. But job stability and language...those are my 2 big problems."
"This is the big one for me. You could go to Germany, Denmark, Norway as a tourist and just speak English. But working a day-to-day job, going to the supermarket and all that, you really need to speak the language to be productive, no matter how patient your co-workers are. (I’m a software engineer)"
"I will say, being in the country helps immensely. I can't imagine trying to learn a language while sitting in the US."
Once You Understand, It Makes It Hard
"My family are immigrants to the US so know how hard it is to start somewhere new. Also a lot of my family is in the US and I don’t want to miss my nieces and nephews growing up"
"I am a UK person living in America (have been here ages) - I know my wife and children dont like the way america is shifting, and through citizenship of me and my children I could easily get everyone legally into the UK."
"But... would my (college age) kids want to go there? Would we be able to make friends as near-retirees? Would the (inferior) material standard of living be too much of an adjustment and we would be shivering through the winter wondering what we did?"
"The favorable exchange rate makes it tempting too... but the reality is I think there would be some big personal drawbacks for my family"
"Being able to guarantee my safety as a practicing Jew."
"I love Europe, have loved my time in Europe, but the track record on that score .....is not great."
"I feel the same way as a black woman. I'm used to and can often reconize/avoid most of the racism in the US. But it's an entirely different beast in other countries. At my age, I don't think I have it in me to navigate those complexities."
"I can understand this. The problem about saying “moving to Europe” is that Europe has so many different cultures and attitudes depending on where you go."
"Here in the UK, racism certainly still exists but as a mixed race person, I’ve only experienced racism towards myself a handful of times and I personally believe the UK has some really good attitudes to race, especially in London probably the most diverse place in the world"
MoneyThe Simpsons Money GIFGiphy
"And help with the paperwork and whatnot. It’s not easy to immigrate to Europe, they’re not really interested in you just arriving."
"It can be expensive, long and frustrating but I just did this with a big family and pets about a year ago."
"Particularly thankful today to be "somewhere else" with my teens and twenties daughters."
"All the help you need is on Reddit. Lots of helpful people and resources."
"You start at the beginning, and learn learn learn. Just like any other thing you want to know. People figure it all out every day, and I am confident you could, too!"
Marketable Skill Or Marriage
"I have no marketable skills that eu countries want. And most don’t accept a lot of what I can do for a work visa. So my best bet to immigrate is marriage."
"Same. No one in Europe wants me, so the answer to OP's question is, "it would take any counry in the EU wanting me."
"Came here to say this. From the research I've done, the desirable skills for most countries are stem/healthcare/etc. and while it makes sense why that is, not everyone can just up and make a career change to one of those fields."
"That can be expensive or daunting even if you're just doing it to change jobs and stay in the US."
"This. If it was easy/possible for most Americans to move to Europe a lot more of us would be leaving. Even if you ignore the legal hurdles, more than half of Americans can’t afford a $1000 emergency (the most relevant statistic I could find), and probably couldn’t afford to move states let alone continents."
"I'm married to an eu citizen. My kids are eu citizens. But I still can't get residency until I'm at least conversationally fluent in the language."
AS Long As There Is No Dragonsstop motion horror GIFGiphy
"The castles look nice, but the threat if dragons keep me away."
"That's not much of a problem in Europe, my hometown only got destroyed 5 times by a dragon in 30 years."
"Did the smith and the cobbler survive the dragon strike? Or did the plague do them in?"
"So you have 'dragon season' like we have Hurricane season and Tornado season. Got it."
"We have sorted that problem in Wales and advertise the fact on our flag."
"The dragons you see coming. It's the rats that get you"
You've seen what Reddit has to say, so now it's your turn at the mic.
Americans, what would it take for YOU to head across the pond to live in Europe?
Men have this reputation for being simple, straightforward creatures.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Humans in general are not simple, straightforward creatures, but men are just ... baffling.
At least as far as the women of Reddit are concerned.
Reddit user Theunknowndud asked:
"Women, what do you find the most confusing about men?"
These fine femmes saw an opportunity to vent and ask questions and they absolutely ran with it.
Here's what they most wanted to know about.
Not Going To The Doctorperry cox whatever GIFGiphy
"Why some men don’t go to the doctor or dentist, unless someone else makes the appointment for them."
"Because if someone else makes appointment for me I feel obligated to go. But I don't care about myself enough to make the appointment myself and I just learn to live with whatever the problem is."
"It's like reading my own mind."
"I go because I'm told it is medically necessary by my wife. Otherwise I've been conditioned to determine whether it is financially necessary. In other words, if I'm not missing work because of it, it isn't necessary."
"I can't speak for everyone, but that is what I grew up with and I can't just "break" it, so I really do rely on my wife to force the issue, otherwise the cost factor pretty much overrules everything."
"I hate making appointments unless absolutely necessary. I don’t feel like going to a doctor is a necessity unless I’m not feeling well (I know I’m an idiot). As far as the dentist goes my wife made the appointment once and ever since then the receptionist makes my next appointment."
"You can be completely oblivious to any mess in the house but can spot a wall has been brush painted in the wrong direction from 20ft away."
"Wall is permanent mess is temporary"
"I am a man. I don't know anything about painting so don't spot stuff like that but every time I visit someone I spot how they set up their router/WiFi and see why they might have problems with their WiFi connection as they just hide their stuff away instead of putting the box in a way the waves flow unobstructed. I work in IT."
"English is not my first language and I'm kinda tired but hope what I wrote makes sense."
"I learned some guys are like this because they were never raised to clean up after themselves. Their moms or caretakers always did the tidying for them, so they never learned to “see” mess and do anything about it."
"Compare this to something like wall painting which can be something that they spend a lot of time perfecting."
Breath, I Forgot To BreatheBreathe Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"I'm a man. But something that confused my wife is when I suddenly take a deep breath for no reason. She's like 'are you ok? You sure? Anything you need to talk about? What's going on?' And I just say 'nah I'm fine, think I just forgot to breathe and catching up'."
"To be honest, I feel really blessed that I have someone who cares enough to ask if I'm OK. But yeh, seriously just forgot to breathe 😀"
"Dude it's so fukin true that i was taking a deep breath as i was reading ur comment."
"Are you ok? Anything you need to talk about?"
"My wife's biggest gripe is that I will spend time hiking / drinking / driving / whatever with friends I haven't seen in months, and when I get home I will have absolutely nothing to report back despite having talked solidly with them for six hours."
"My wife on the other hand will casually pass a friend in the street and within ten minutes knows what theyve done every day since they last spoke, the health and financial status of them and all other friends and relatives, and a forward facing calendar for the next three months."
"It’s funny though. All the bullsh*t we talk about as guys slowly leaks a bunch of personal information over time. You can tell that one guy isn’t happy with his relationship, one guy is broke, one guy hates his job, one guy has a medical issue. You know all of this without really talking about it just because you spend quality time with them. Yet even we can’t recount it directly, we just know it in the moment when we are with the boys."
"Damn you really hit the nail on the head there."
- User Deleted
Going Into Screensaver Modelooking homer simpson GIFGiphy
"I’ve learned a lot being married to my husband, but there’s one thing I fail to understand in general. Why do you guys like to stare out the window so often? It’s usually just going up to a window or looking out the front door, and you fall into a trance. What’s up with that?"
"I actually do this a lot."
"Also when I’m in the shower I will just stand and think."
"I’m usually thinking how to solve a problem that will probably never occur."
"Lol. I love it. It’s particularly amusing to me when I’ll realize the room has fallen silent and I look up and he’s just there. Staring. My dad did it too."
"It's a way to trick your brain to go idle long enough to enter screensaver."
Power Saving mode
"My gf is still baffled at the fact that I can just turn off my brain and not think of anything"
"There's a science museum where I live and there's a game you can play that uses brain waves. Basically it has a ball in the middle of the table that moves based on who has the least amount of brain activity at the time. And you want the ball to move away from you."
"You put on a head piece and when both players are ready, they touch the two pads on the table with you hands. I'm currently undefeated at a record of 14-0. Idk if I'm dumb or if I just shut everything off but life support lol"
"I found my husband on the couch in a dead silent house whistling tunelessly and playing bongos on his own tummy. When I asked what he's thinking about as he's doing that he says 'You know...nothin'. Like listening to the wind in your mind and sh*t. Everyone does it'."
"No Cowboy, we don't all do that. Y'all have some magic happening. Sounds nice."
One Of The Worlds Mysteries
"D*cks, the way they work is confusing. Like I’ve been told they only react when seeing or feeling something they like but I’ve also been told it will just decide to pop up randomly though the day with nothing."
"True, d*cks are doing what they want. Sometimes out of nowhere it just decides to stands up. Also, it can stand up when you're aroused (obviously) or when you're excited to see someone you haven't seen in a long time."
"Can confirm, i got a got a penis and im still confused how it works at times."
"Fun fact: The penis has pressure sensors, just touching it a bit or squeezing a bit can be enough to trigger an erection."
"Boners are strange. Morning wood is the result of overstimulation from a dream. We get nervous boners. We get sad boners. We get angry boners."
Forgive And Forgeti forgive you hug GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphy
"I find it confusing how men are so forgiving. It’s one of the things I adore the most about men and find the most baffling. I’m learning now that men will get over things like 40 minutes after they happen and genuinely get frustrated and sad when their girls hold grudges. I’ve found that the people I’ve had falling outs with and was able to rekindle my friendships with were mostly all men."
"I also find it weird how men will fight each other and then be best friends the next day."
"You get angry in the moment but then after you're removed from the situation you gotta let yourself cool off. Once you're thinking clearly you'll realize it wasn't that big a deal and get over it. Usually the start of a fight isn't that big it's the stuff that comes after that escalates it so you just recognize that both of you just human and do and say dumb things when your blood is up. Also I think women tend to plan more and then act and men will just act and plan on the fly so that leads to women believing slights or f**k ups are more intentional whereas men will just think of them as mistakes and forgive them."
"Coincidentally, just yesterday I was reminiscing on a friend and me getting into a fight. I hit him over the head with a glass bottle and he gave me a really clean two-piece in response."
"I laughed for a few minutes at how inconsequential that fight was after the fact, but how extreme it was looking back on it. We’re still thick as thieves to this day, lol"
"As a guy I feel we are a bit more black and white about forgiveness. I can easily forgive and forget most low-level things given time but I still have some grudges from over 10 years ago. I will likely never forgive them."
"Basically men work like traffic tickets. Small things are forgiven quickly. Bigger things take time. Some things are permanent."
"Some women feel more like an actual criminal record that never gets expunged."
"If someone is kind/self-aware/brave enough to apologize after they screw up, then it becomes easy to accept an apology from someone who understands they did something wrong and wishes that they hadn’t. Everyone makes mistakes, especially men, so forgiving and moving on is much more sensible than holding a grudge"
I Am OkayAnimated GIFGiphy
"When guys are seriously injured but act like its just a scratch… that they can somehow walk it off. All the guys I know are like this."
"A serious answer is because we don't want to panic and cause an issue"
"This is it right here. As soon as a calm guy starts panicking, everyone is panicking."
"Reminds me of when I accidentally cut a chunk of my finger so deeply that it hung off and you could see white underneath. I was internally freaking out and didn't even want to look at it, but did so I could assess the damage. I calmly asked my partner to bring me some bandages and alcohol and when I turned to look at her, she was pale and her lips were turning blue. She said 'Okay, but I need to sit down for a sec...'."
"I ended up walking all the way to the first aid box on the bottom floor of our apartment building while holding a cup under my finger to catch all the blood. I wasn't gonna try and walk it off, but I absolutely knew I couldn't panic for her and my sake!"
"TLDR: Someone will have to fix it, and panicking makes problems harder to fix."
"Exactly. Panicking doesn't help the situation. A clear head and talking to people on how to help solves way more."
They Jiggle Jiggle...
"How their crotch doesn't hurt when they run or go up the stairs. Like, even with underwear, you just have stuff hanging down there. I don't even have a large chest and it hurts to run regardless if I'm wearing a bra or not"
"I gotta tell you, the penis doesn't weigh much."
"A boob weighs more, and you ladies have two of them."
"One testicle also hangs lower than the other for the specific purpose of not getting crushed when walking."
"I'm a guy and I didn't know this, lol. Neat."
"Our stuff is not as heavy as yours, so we don't feel the dangling effect much. Also, sometimes it hurts when we wear very tight/ short undies"
"A couple things: Breasts are considerably larger and heavier than testicles, so they bounce a lot more. I jump up and down a few times when I get out of the shower, so my towel doesn’t have to soak up quite so much water, and I do support my balls while I’m jumping. That was a mistake I made exactly once. But if you’re wearing briefs, and the bouncing isn’t as much, it’s not really an issue."
"You’ve had your breasts since puberty. We’ve had our penis since birth. We had to learn to walk with it. You had a decade to get used to walking a certain way before your build changed dramatically. We’ve had essentially the same hardware our entire lives."
... at this point I might be more confused than I was going into this article.
We've got mess-blind people, refusal to acknowledge injury as if denial is somehow a healing agent ... and a dude who forgets to breathe.
The land Down Under is one of the most highly anticipated travel destinations for tourists around the world. Australia has fascinating history, beautiful sights, great food, cool wildlife, and some pretty cool people.
But as with any travel destination, there's bound to be a certain degree of culture shock. Have a seat and listen up, because you're in for some surprises.
Australians shared some information with us after Redditor emchmu123 asked the online community,
"Australians of Reddit, what is something that the rest of the world would be surprised or shocked to hear about the country?"
"There are more wild camels..."
"There are more wild camels in Australia than the Middle East."
At some point, the British were just like, what other animals can we introduce to this place? And then they just did it.
"You can drive for 26 hours straight and still be in the same state. It's kinda unsettling, especially those really tiny mining towns that have like a gas station and just flat dryland for as far as you can see."
It's kind of crazy how desolate so much of the country is. You don't just go to the Outback, you prepare to go there.
"In some parts..."
"In some parts of the country you are closer to space than the nearest town."
That's another way to hammer this point home.
"While I was working..."
"While I was working in Whistler people were often shocked to hear we have ski resorts in Australia."
Wow, you guys have everything.
Why do you get all the good stuff?! What about the rest of us?!
"I've never had..."
"I’ve never had shrimp on the barbie - ever!"
Can you even call yourself Australian at this point? How can we possibly process this information as the ignorant tourists that we are?
"Every spring, Magpies take to swooping people who come near their nests. Not a secret really, but I don't know how widely known it is."
I love magpies. They are the mascot of chaos and destruction.
"That there are..."
"That there are vast areas of rainforest as well as the better-known desert areas."
And it's beautiful! You forgot to mention that it's incredibly beautiful.
"The last confirmed death..."
"Almost no one here dies to spiders or snakes. The last confirmed death from a spider bite was in 1979."
This is exactly the kind of propaganda a deadly Australian spider would spread.
"It was a conservative government..."
"It was a conservative government that introduced gun control laws."
A nice fact to whip out at dinner parties the next time someone says that only liberals are for reform.
"You're supposed to eat Vegemite toast with butter. Not just a thick slather of Vegemite like Nutella."
"You're supposed to eat Vegemite toast..."
Hang on a second!
They've certainly not told us everything, but take heed, fellow traveler, and report back. Australia is a hell of a place and you'll have plenty of stories to tell when you come back!