Congratulations! You have a daughter. It's now your job to prepare her for the world at large, teach her how to be the best she can be, and understand that the changes to her body are natural and will happen whether you like it or not.
...This is mainly for the dads of the world who many not have an idea of what they're doing.
Reddit user, u/joho3883, wanted to get the word out when they asked:
Women of Reddit, what are some things a dad should know about raising a girl?
You're Creating A Legacy
How you treat her and her mom is how she will expect to be treated by her partner when she's older.
Let Them Fend For Themselves
Giphy
Don't be too overprotective. How long can you protect her? One day she'll be on her own and she'll not know how to. Teach her how to be independent instead. To do things on her own. Teach her self-defense. Teach her to be safe.
Everything They Say Has Relevance
I know you probably don't want to hear about what happened with Sarah and Kyle today in prealgebra or the character break down of her latest teen novel but just listen to her. The moment you dismiss her thoughts and interests is the moment that wall starts going up between. Make an effort to remember some names and details and it'll mean everything to her. Don't laugh at her or get mad when she bursts into tears over something that you perceive as insignificant. Not only is she young and her world is smaller but if she's above the age of ten her emotions are running wild.
Basically just treat her like her thoughts and feelings are valid. It's so easy to forget about how big your emotions feel when you're young. And the reason that I, as a 26 year old woman, still talk to my father weekly and greet him with a big hug is that he listened with empathy.
It's Going To Happen Every Month
I was raised by a single dad. When I started my period, he made it clear that my period was not embarrassing, and he would get me whatever I needed to take care of myself.
Also, if there's not a "mom" around, please, please ask some friends how to manage your daughter's hair.
Seriously. Every. Month.
Just buy her the tampons and don't be embarassed about it. My dad raised my sister and I alone after my mom passed away when I was 11 and he was always so weird about this - MEN, it's not a big deal!!! The cashier knows it's not for you LOL
Words Have Power
If you do nothing else right, speak kindly.
I don't have the best dad, he was always fighting his own demons, and therefor not all that present but he has literally only ever been kind to me and that sticks out more than anything. He praises everything we do, compliments us endlessly, and always made us feel like we were obviously capable of anything. It has always been easy to see/feel his shortcomings really didn't have anything to do with me and were his own personal issues.
That's Why They're Called "Delicates"
do not put bras or underwear in the dryer (single dad to now college age dryer)
EDIT.....college age daughter, not college age dryer (but the dryer is 20 years old as well)
Respect Every Relationship
Don't talk sh-t talk their mother.
Don't poison your daughter's relationship with her other parent if she's lucky enough to have one.
Keep Your Mouth Shut
As she gets older, don't make comments about body hair, bra straps, or exposed shoulders. It's uncomfortable and can cause self image issues.
Keep It Cool, Dad
Don't start acting as though she will turn into a raging monster the second she hits puberty. It's a weird expectation to have placed on you. On that note, don't blame everything she feels on her hormones. Don't lose your sh-t when she starts needing a bra. She has breasts now. So what? A father freaking out or being weird about it will just complicate how she feels even more.
If mom can't take her shopping, have her sized, take her to a store, get her a fitting room. Done. Don't make her feel weird or bad about needing one. Also, it isn't hard to have her sized. My store won't size you, but they will teach girls how to do so properly and provide you with a room, measuring tape, and advice.
Give Them Room
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When they are teenagers, respect their space as it's a tough time for them and honestly it's really difficult to talk to your dad about. We have mood swings and you might think we hate you but we love you dearly! Be there for her when she needs it too!
They Don't Just Want To Know "Girl" Things
Make sure to teach us "boy" stuff, too! I was an only child, and my dad still taught me to drive a tractor, change a tire, hang drywall, and fix things around the house. These skills have come in handy many times in the years since and especially when I was living alone. Plus, it was great bonding time for me and dad :)
Teach Them To Be Ready
She is going to get hit on so much earlier than you think. I started getting whistled at walking past construction sites when I was 11. Teach her the skills to deal with rejecting someone politely but firmly and sticking to her guns (metaphorically)
Make Them Comfortable
Be their friend as well as their dad, so they are comfortable coming to you worry free.
People Change All The Time
Not just girls, but all children's personality change, as they grow up they wont be the same person they were 5 or 10 years ago. So don't expect your kid to be the same person they were when they were 5.
Especially dont glorify the way they were when they were little and painting it like that was when they were at their best, because then that makes them feel awful for changing and developing as a person. Speaking from experience here.
Let's Run Down A Bunch!
Always depends on the age of the kids.
As a father of 5 wonderful girls, aged from 3 to 16, there are a couple of things:
Treat their mother and them with respect (I think that's one of the most important things, and it has also already been pointed out here).
It is normal that they are stubborn. Let them.
It is not normal that some boys are d****. I often hear the argument "boys will be boys", which is often an excuse that some boys are just idiots. I can guarantee you it is not normal. DON'T let them think that this is normal!
As someone already pointed out: if you have to comb the hair, start at the bottom and work up. My girls all love their hair. Take your time, maybe learn how to make her hair (there are a lot of FB groups about it, and youtube tutorials. Daddydaughter hair factory is the first that comes to my mind).
Forget the stereotypes. If they want to watch Ninjago instead of my little poney, that's ok. Girls don't have to only play with puppets. One of mine loves playing with cars, imagining she's a Ninja etc.
Once they hit "pre-puberty" (so the age of 10, when their body starts to transform) they may change their behavior and interests. Help them go through that. It settles after one or two years, usually when they start getting their period.
They don't need to be ashamed when they have their period. And there's nothing wrong if you buy tampons etc for them. Make the first step, and when you buy groceries, write them a message if they need some of these products.
Treat them and their mother with respect (I know, I already wrote this, but it is really important, as you may be the standard of what they are looking from their future partner)
Talk openly about drugs and sex with them. Those things are often stigmatized in our society.
A hug is sometimes better than talking
It is normal that they have different interests than you.
Don't make them feel ashamed when you see their boyfriend for the first time (even if it may be funny). Talk with them about what you think about him, but don't be rude to him. They will meet him anyway. They shouldn't make it in secrecy.
No dad jokes when their friends are there.
Once they have a boyfriend (or even before), make sure to have condoms at home.
Condoms are like 1mm thin. Boys saying that they don't feel something if they use a condom are idiots. Make her know that he should put that thing on.
If someone is their best friend today, it doesn't mean it is also their best friend tomorrow :-)
They shall enjoy their youth and freedom.
Don't lie about their body shape and weight. If they are a little chubby, then tell them (however, chose your words wisely), and if they want to lose weight help them do it. Go with her for a run i.e.
This one may be only my personal opinion: They may lie about some things. Don't be too consequent or harsh about it. Some small lies are ok, as long as they don't lie about the things that matter. But if they lie, they should know that you know it (skeptical look etc)
Make sure that they don't eat only crisps and cookies in their free time, or when they are in school or lunchtime. This could backfire once they are in puberty. Teach them about food.
If you forbid something you make it much more interesting (i.e .softdrinks, cookies, later maybe meeting a boy etc)
No mobile phones during lunchtime (again, my personal opinion)
Treat them and their mother with respect (I can't stress this enough)
What's something you wish all men would know about raising girls? Share it with us!
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"
These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
Who Am I GIFYou tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.
customer service call center GIFGiphyI'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
Gotcha!
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121
GiphyOf course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"
Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
Brief Inconvenience
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
– FioreFalinesti
Instant Death
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
– itguy1991
Smooth Recovery
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
– TankApprehensive3571
That doesn't happen in real life.
Atypical Casting
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
– Johhnymaddog316
Unnecessary Extravagance
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
– Expensive_Structure2
Disarming Explosives
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
– SuvenPan
Inconvenient Birth
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
– RogueKatt
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
– stupidlyugly
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
– DickySchmidt33
Love Connections
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
– Terrible-Ad-4879
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
– Katarassein
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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