Everyone has different tolerance levels when it comes to what they are looking for in a significant other. What becomes a deal breaker in one relationship transforms into the glue that binds together the next one.
It's all about looking for that person who looks at your quirks and uniqueness with the wonder you deserve.
On the other side of that discussion, there are some traits women display that other women are quick to point out as run-all-the-way-away-to-the-mountains worthy.
Reddit user wanderingntraveling wanted to know what to keep an eye out for when they asked:
"Women of Reddit, what uncommon red flags in women should men be on the lookout for?"
Someone's personality can be a little toxic, and that's all that it takes to make you want to reevaluate your entire bond with them.
It's All About Me
"If she gets jealous whenever she’s not the sole source of your joy/happiness."- zoeelynn
A Drain To Be Around
"If you walk away feeling depleted after spending time with her"- LikeReallyLike
How Dare You Not Invite Me?
"Laying on a guilt trip if you're going out with your friends and she's not invited."
"Everyone needs time apart to hang out with their people."- scarletantonia27Schitts Creek Hello GIF by CBCGiphy
Maybe it's what she does in the relationship to "keep it going" that rings the alarm bells in your mind. Why enjoy the calm, loving peace around one another when you can do something awful?
Trying To Keep It "Interesting"
"If she's trying to stir up drama just so the relationship can be 'fun'."
"I saw this with a former friend."
"Spicing things up as a couple is all good."
"But if she's stirring up the pot by letting other guys flirt with her just so you can play jealous boyfriend so you can 'rescue her' from a situation she started as if it's some movie or something, STAY AWAY FROM HER."-geligniteandlilies
Setting You Up For Failure
"When she constantly traps you in difficult situations, like asking if she or her friend are prettier, sh*t like that."
"Sometimes they're just looking to stir shit and there's no right answer."
"Just run man."- sweetonionchild
Isn't He The Biggest Dork?
"If she makes fun of your biggest insecurities in front of other people for a laugh"- cerebralpancakesHa Ha Lol GIFGiphy
And sometimes, some people are just that crazy.
Run, dear friend. Run.
You Have To Hit All The Marks, Or Else
"Women who follow 'rules' for dating."
"I have a friend who follows rules from Sex and the City."
"If she’s dating someone, they have to move in together at the 6 month mark, engaged at 1 year, etc., It always ends in disaster and she’s so focused on meeting those goals without paying attention to how her partner feels about any of it."-fuxkyouforever
Not Who You Are, Who They Think You Should Be
"If she’s always trying to change you ."
"The way to talk, walk, eat, dress, etc."
"RUN! nothing will ever be good enough for her, promise you that!!"- nolaswimAlicia Silverstone Makeover GIF by filmeditorGiphy
Ha-Ha-Ha-I'm A Little Crazy
"Romanticizing being a 'psycho'."
"It's not cute, it's a massive red flag"-sannachan
"If she says she's on the pill and you never see her take it or any proof of birth control.I used to have a friend that would always say she was on the pill but wasn't... she wanted a baby"- Mundane_Pea4296
Suspect taste in movies
"She is obsessed with the movie 'Gone Girl'.- ordinaryduckgone girl GIFGiphy
Individually, fine, together though...
"Some early dating-red-flags experience I had only a few days ago:"
"She has only male-friends."
"She has a good and tough friendship with her ex-boyfriend but says that there are no feelings anymore."
"She talks way too often about her other dates."
"She talks about another guy she's dating and that they meet often but that they both won't have a relationship."
"Don't get me wrong, not all the points are red-flags if they would stand alone."
"But all these points together give me the feeling that the girl is really toxic."- Lumpy-Action1318
Tell me I'm wrong, without telling me I'm wrong.
"Tells you your in the wrong but won't let you admit it."
"'JUST ADMIT YOUR IN THE WRONG.'"
"'I did something wrong and it hurt you I'm sorry I was 100% in the wrong-"
"'NO NEED TO YELL, YOU A**HOLE'"
"May or may not be based on actual argument I had.'"
"Treats you like dog shit, calls it sarcasm."- armyryk18
"Calm down, it's just a joke"- FriendlyGanache5519sarcastic sarcasm GIFGiphy
Communication is key
"Lack of communication especially boundaries."
'I like being physical and I know I have a responsibility to talk about that but it shouldn't be all on me to figure out what you like and don't like."
"Tell me and guide me as well that way we both get what we want."- blueking13
What are you keeping from me?
"If you do not want to talk about her and your relationship with your friends, family, and coworkers."
"When she demands that you spend no more than 90 mins with your family without her there."- atomicmisfitt
"If she quits taking her medication and doesn’t tell you until 6 months later."- g0thcowboy69420Lauren Lapkus Shut Up GIF by EarwolfGiphy
Everyone needs help every now and then
'You asked for uncommon so I’m gonna say never asking for help."
"Can be a sign of trust and vulnerability issues."
"I’m kind of slow to call this a red flag because in some cases, it is definitely workable but in others it can lead to more complicated issues."
"It depends on her willingness to be collaborative."- ColorPallette
Too Much Too Soon
"If they share naughty pics with you fairly early."
"They’ve been sharing with others and most likely have a preset collection of pics."
Always be ready to protect yourself. Relationships can be worked on, sure, but never feel bad for leaving if you feel like your mental or emotional health are in danger.
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There's nothing more unsettling than waking up in the middle of the night.
Particularly if what woke you up was a loud, unsettling creepy sound.
The only thing that could make the experience more nightmarish is opening your eyes and seeing something that makes you jump out of bed.
Most of the time, what ends up scaring the living daylights out of us is nothing more than a pile of laundry we forgot to put away or a cat's shadow, and find ourselves laughing about it weeks or even days later
Others however, haven't been so lucky, waking up to discover they were actually in legitimate danger.
Redditor SpaceHubYT was eager to hear the most terrifying things people woke up to in the middle of the night, leading them to ask:
"What’s the scariest thing you’ve woken up to in the middle of the night?"
Keeping an extra close eye...hopefully?
"My grandmother just standing there in the dark by my bed, quietly wringing her hands and staring at me."- fryinpaskettimobster
Terrifying no matter when
"My mom saying I needed to get up and go with the cop."- abletable342
An experience no one deserves
"My mom screaming up the stairs 'get out of the house now!!!' and my brother swinging my door open to get us out."
"The house was on fire."- stoneytopaz
One hundred little fingers...
"Centipede crawling on my face."
"I still shiver thinking about when that happened."- Slight_Librarian_399Bug Insect GIF by AquariumMeGiphy
A lesson well learned?
"A cop walking into my Airbnb at 4am in Tennessee."
"Somehow he had the code and just.. walked in."
"I was sleeping on the couch right near the front door."
"He yelled at me and asked my name and what I was doing there."
"I was dazed and said 'ugh, I’m sleeping here man' and he’s like 'we were called about a B n E at this address'." - Reddit
"And I said 'I dunno man' and he was like 'well, sorry to disturb you'."
"And he walked out."
"Found out later that the call came In from a different address and the cop still had the door code from a previous call that was put in at this building before."
"This is where I learned if someone breaks in to where I’m sleeping In the middle of the night, I ain’t gonna do sh*t."
"My reaction time is about 5 minutes."- ReferHvacGuy
Sharing a midnight snack?
"Cat dropping a giant a** spider on my chest, then giant spider disappearing in my panic."- lady_of_the_lacattack spider GIFGiphy
One can only imagine...
"My wife sitting straight up out of bed and screaming while pointing down the hallway."
"She talks in her sleep, usually it’s hilarious."
"That time it was not."- BrotherOfTheOrder
Nature's alarm clock
"8.8 Richter scale earthquake at 3am."- sparkdaniel
There's a first time for literally everything.
"Lived in an old building in NYC."
"Had a neighbor across the hall that would seldom have night terrors."
"1st time it happened, it was about 4am and I was pretty sure she was getting murdered from the piercing screaming and loud thumps from her flailing around and the sound of glass breaking."
"I grabbed a meat cleaver and went into the hallway in my underwear to see that everyone else in the building was also awake and poking their heads out into the hallway wondering what to do."
"Me and 2 other neighbors eventually knocked on her door and when she answered she looked pale like a ghost and was dripping in sweat."
"She didn't remember any of it, apologized and explained to us her condition."
"That was some blood curdling sh*t."
"She was very apologetic about it and bought us all six packs of beer for freaking us out."
"Me and the two neighbors that decided to take action were all 100% sure that she was getting murdered at that moment."
"I lived there for 2 years and I think she only had 2 episodes during that time."- azninvasion2000
Be it over nothing, or something incredibly serious, being woken up at all hours of the morning is never a pleasant experience.
As the place everyone should always feel safest of all, is in the comfort of their own bed.
Bullying seems to be a concept that has always been around. It comes in all forms, and in varying degrees.
Sometimes, the bullying can be mild and temporary. That doesn't make it okay, but it does make the bullying easier to deal with.
Other times, the bullying is harsh, and can even go too far. Sometimes, that can mean relentless teasing. Othertimes, it can mean that a bully took their torment to a new level, even proceeding into physical violence.
Whatever the case, when bullying goes too far, it sticks with you. Sometimes, you get revenge. Other times, you just deal with it until you can find a solution. Whichever method you choose, you will never forget it.
Curious about how far is too far, Redditor tylerboyzzz asked:
"People of Reddit, when did the bully go to far?"
"One of my friends had been getting bullied for crying after her mother's death. One day I got sick of it and shoved his head into a door. I know violence shouldn't be used in some situations but I felt like this needed it. He never bullied my friend again and I only got 1 detention."
"Kids are so dumb, making fun of someone for losing their mom is the stupidest thing ever, good on you."
"This guy bullied me for years, relentlessly. He saw another guy bullying me one day and lost his mind and beat the guy half to death. It was f**ked up. Not even that he beat the guy, whatever there, but in this ultra weird like "staking his claim" kinda way. Like I was his to bully and no one else. It literally made me fear for my life a bit. I got a restraining order."
"He took a thick piece of metal wrapped it with electrical tape and hit my friend in the head. He had to get stitches but wouldn’t say out of fear who did it."
"I ratted him out. A day later he jumped me as two of his friends held my arms. Then he stole my bike."
"My mom went to talk to his dad who was drunk and hit on her so she left frustrated."
"A few days later he tried to jump me again while on my bike when I was at the ice cream truck but my older (in high school) brother saw it."
"He literally jumped down three flights of stairs from the 3rd fl of our apartment complex and literally grabbed the back seat of the bike and picked it up as he tried to pedal away. He was freaking out screaming."
Bullying The Teachers
"My class was terrible. On multiple occasions they had managed to make teachers leave the classroom in tears. For the record; I never participated, I was bullied too in this class."
"One of the worst days; they were really taking it out on this nerdy teacher. Like, this was definitely the worst and the most direct insults they had ever given to a person and he broke surprisingly quick. It turned out that the day before he was diagnosed with testicular cancer..."
Bullied BY The Teacher
"Bullied by a teacher. I grew up in the 1980's and there was something wrong with my digestive system that doctors here didn't understand at the time. Parents and friends were aware that sometimes I needed a toilet without much warning for either vomit or poo. I could easily dose off sometimes and always had a crampy tummy."
"First week of high school, I needed to go, now. I asked the teacher if I could be excused. She said I was old enough to be able to hold it in. I tried to explain that I needed to go. She was all boo-hoo, the baby needs a nappy, the baby needs burping. Some friends tried to explain to the teacher that if I had to go, I had to go. Teacher said no. I couldn't hold anything in any more and made for the door, the teacher shouted something and I passed out, vomited and sh*t myself."
"From what I remember, dad had the teacher fired. School policy was changed so that if a kid needed a loo break, they got it. Ironically there was an increase of tp related thefts and bathroom vandalism."
"I spent a week in hospital being prodded and poked, and we found out what was wrong."
"I went back to school, some kids pointed and laughed at the kid who sh*t herself in maths but they were quickly silenced by my friends and some kids who I didn't even know."
"I had a huge crush on one of the "cool" kids, who was actually a really nice, down to earth guy who was always nice to me. We even played Magic: The Gathering together a few times."
"I overheard my bully tell my crush he was planning to wait until the last day of school and "f- me up real good." Crush grabbed him by the throat and said "Don't you dare touch her!" so of course, the bully had to do something."
"He stole part of my crush's cherished favorite deck and left it in my backpack with a really sweet (fake) note. Then he told my crush he'd seen me steal the cards. His plan worked perfectly, I was looking through the cards when crush walked over. The look of hurt and then anger on his face is still burned into my memory. I gave the cards back, apologized, and tried to defend myself, but he never forgave me and we never spoke again."
You Showed Her!
"She bullied me for how I looked, would underhandedly called me ugly, and was the root of all my insecurities...A year later I won a major beauty pageant and she blocked me on IG"
"still kinda insecure cuz of her though"
"I befriended the problem girl in high school. Thought she just needed a friend. Anyway, she turned on me for whatever reason. Broke into my house while I was away on vacation and stole my cat and every item of clothing I owned. She ended up donating most of my clothes to goodwill, but the stuff she liked she wore to school. I called her out on it. That same day the principal pulled me out of class and said I “need to stop bullying X.” Anyway, she never did get in trouble but I did get my cat back after a few weeks."
Yes, He Did Fall
"6th grade. He sat behind me in study hall. He, an 8th grader, had been picking on me since the beginning of the year. I told my parents and my dad said next time he messes with me just stand up for myself."
"Next day he flips my ear really hard. I turn around and tell him don’t ever touch me again. I turn back around and then I feel something getting put into my ear. It was a pencil. I jumped up, grabbed my thick as hell math book, and hit him directly in the face. It ended up knocking four of his teeth out and broke his nose."
"The teacher was the gym teacher, who was also an assistant coach on my baseball team. He came over and said with great surprise…..what happened did he fall out of his desk? Needless to say he never messed with me again."
"Maybe im being simple here, but: every time. Any form of bullying is always too far."
Yeah, that's probably true.
Bullying is wrong, but you will never be wrong for standing up for yourself.
Here we are, decades into the life and journey of the internet.
And we still can't clean up all of the horrible spots.
The internet is a fantastic invention with many, many flaws.
Our screens have been exposed to things that will remain with our souls forever.
So let's talk about it.
***WARNING!! THIS IS AN NC-17 ARTICLE***
RedditorPowered_programmer wanted to hear about all the things that we've seen on the web that has left us shook. They asked:
"What is the creepiest thing that you've come across on internet?"
So let's all take a deep dive into the darkest places of the net.
"Rotten.com back in the day."
"Surgical footage and trauma footage look very different. Even if you know next to nothing about anatomy watching a surgery looks neat and clean."
"You can clearly see the boundaries of different flaps of tissue and stuff, and can kinda see how it would fit back together once the surgeon is done. Trauma just looks like chaotic hell. Nothing makes sense, it all looks like badly ground hamburger, and any recognition of parts only brings more horror as you realize the part is broken and relocated to somewhere it doesn't belong."
Too Far a Reach
"Years ago I came across a website that was just a collection of links to unsecured camera feeds. Webcams, baby monitors, security cameras… basically anything with a lens and WiFi capabilities. Apparently most people never set up their devices properly and just leave default passwords or none at all, and this website was just trawling through the internet finding them all."
"I watched Luca Magnotta kill his BF but when I watched it, it was uploaded to a horror site by him and everyone thought it was a really good special effects. I don't get spooked much but I stopped watching when he started stabbing the corpse with a ice pic or something. A little while later I found out he was on the run and that video was a real person he murdered, it messed me up for a while."
"A website that broadcasted millions of private security cameras of people houses who had no idea that their security camera was just on the Internet and they could be watched during all hours."
Why did we ever create the internet?
"That one video where the car was driving down that mountain road and you had to pay close attention and then it turned out to be a screamer."
"I’m going to go with creepy, not horrifying or even f’d up. I can’t remember who it was, but back in the day on YouTube a man posted LONG videos of himself just sitting and looking straight into the camera with a smile, not a single movement the whole time. Always a live feed."
"One day someone broke into his home DURING the live show, and actually ended up leaving without stealing anything because the guy didn’t react at ALL. Just sat there, wide eyed and smiling at the camera. Thinking back as a thief that would scare the heck outta me."
"This picture of mickey mouse that was added to my DSI's wallpaper. I have never owned or known someone that owns a Mickey Mouse plush. I do not recognize the area, wall, chair or anything in the picture. I have not lent my DSI to anyone. It just appeared one day when I opened it. It creeps me out and I still question how could this have happened."
Was it Real?
"Those 'ghost showing up in mirror' YouTube videos. To this day, I’m still scared to walk past mirrors at night sometimes."
"I could never find the video but i can never forget it. its about two boys who remove a talisman from a large stone and out of it a ghost pops out moaning, the boys immediately dart out of the cave and run at full speed screaming as they see that the ghost is following them even catching up to the boys. Never got to see the ending of the video. Was it fake? Was it real? Don't know, it was just creepy."
"When I used to browse the hellhole known as 4chan I came across a crazy green text story. Some kid ran away from home, found a place for the night and slept in his sleeping bag. Woke up to what he thought was homeless guy peeing on him and chased him off. When he stopped and smelled himself he realized that the homeless guy was pouring gasoline on him. Still creeps me out to think about what could have happened."
Well that is a lot of drama I never want to see.
Everyone always harps on the importance of first impressions.
But we also need to pay attention to all that follows.
I'm starting to believe a first impression can be a great fake-out.
People will allow their true colors to shine over time.
Redditor Xanax_Sprite wanted everyone to open up about what things people can do that immediately change one's opinion of a person's character, not for the better.
"What immediately makes you think less of someone?"
It's entirely too easy to turn me off. I admit, it's an issue. Maybe that's a thing people suddenly dislike about me.
Bad Behaviorrude bon qui qui GIFGiphy
"Intentional embarrassment. When someone brings something up in front of a group to humiliate someone else."
"Not taking responsibility for their actions."
"Even worse. people who make excuses for their mistakes, no matter how bluntly you point it out to them that this is their shortcoming. Man up and admit you make a mistake. Stop telling me A happened then B happened so C happened. we are here to work, not tell each other make believe stories."
"Someone who interrupts a serious conversation to make it about them."
"Being subject to that infuriating s**t was what eventually inspired me to listen to people more, especially regarding heavier topics. Sometimes people just need to be heard and held, and it isn't fair for them to expose their vulnerabilities only to have you dismiss them by trying to make their suffering about you."
Where are they?
"How they speak about a person who is not present in the conversation."
"One of the most important lessons my father taught me..."
"Don't speak about a person if they're not in the room."
"They don't have a representative in the room and especially if your words get back to them and they can't say 'I know, he already had that convo with me.' I've earned a rep for not speaking behind people's backs to the point where when someone claimed I did, that person called them a liar. Pops sucked but I thank him for that lesson."
Be ConsistentJennifer Lawrence Reaction GIFGiphy
"100. People can change their opinions, but not flip flop regularly."
I can't with hypocrites. My life's biggest pet peeve.
Be cleanSeason 4 Episode 22 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Yep, had a coworker once who spit on the floor inside."
"It was a warehouse-type building, but still. This particular guy also left cigarette butts on the floor inside and dumped a dog on the business property. Needless to say, he didn't last long here. Some people are just really rude and stupid."
"Had a friend who never, ever apologized for anything or really took any responsibility. Even in situations which were funny and non-serious, he’d always talk his a** out of it (in a jokey matter). But when some s**t hit the fan, that guy turned into one of the scariest, manipulative and aggressive people I’ve met that would rather die than take accountability for the things he’s done."
"And for which there were many witnesses and evidence against him. Moral of the story, if you know someone who won’t say sorry or admit they did something wrong for even the least serious things, run, because when they actually do something seriously bad it’s just gonna get real ugly."
Face 2 Face
"Lying to my face. There’s no going back in my eyes because I will never trust you. Secrets are fine and dandy. That’s not quite the same as straight up lying. A direct example is people lying about their family dying to get out of work or when this older woman in her 40’s tried to lie about cleaning up her work station when she left it for me to clean."
“as a joke”
"Being mean to animals."
"Even when people joke about being mean to animals. I have a cat I love dearly and the number of comments I get about harming cats because people don’t like them 'as a joke' is infuriating and not funny, Ken."
"I include poorly training their pets in this. It’s neglect/negligence and it’s abuse."
Eyes UpCall Me Lol GIF by Black PrezGiphy
"When they’re looking at their phones, not paying any attention to you when you’re trying to have a conversation with them."
It doesn't take much to change an impression. Let's do better.