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Mothers Explain How They'd Feel If The Father Asked For A Paternity Test

In every relationship, there are bound to be some tough conversations, like how to budget and deciding whether to move somewhere new.

But there are other conversations, like getting a paternity test or going through someone's phone, that potentially imply a lack of trust.


Redditor BlueSharker asked:

"Women, would you care if your husband wanted to do a quick, basic, cheap DNA test to make sure the kids are 100% his? And why?"

Healthy Relationship

"I love the wording of a 'quick basic cheap' test, like hey, it's no big deal, this is a totally normal quick little thing healthy strong couples do!"

"Like, Baby, it's no big deal. I just want to test the kids' DNA to make sure I can trust you."

- kaksereciklira

Feeling Insulted

"I just asked my wife this, and she said, 'I will rip your nads off and feed them to you if you want that d**n test.'"

"So yeah, they care."

- exportz

Holy Insinuation, Batman

"Asking for this test either means:"

"1. You think I cheated on you but don't want to actually accuse me directly of it and deal with the fallout of being wrong which is both cowardly and insulting and also didn't work."

"2. You have been spending time on unsavory red pill internet sites and are dumber and more gullible than I thought when I married you and I've now lost all respect for your critical thinking skills."

"3. You don't want to be married or be a father to our kids anymore and are looking or an excuse to leave. Perhaps you are yourself cheating, or you are hiding some other secret or opinion from me and have been for a while."

"None of these scenarios are good. I would 100% be rethinking the whole marriage at this point. What else are you going to blindside me with and when? Probably better to just leave on my own terms than wake up one day and find you gone and all the accounts drained."

- Fantastic_Poet4800

Lack of Trust

"I wouldn't be opposed to the actual request because I have nothing to hide."

"But the fact that he felt the need to ask 100% indicates his lack of trust in the marriage and that is the bigger issue that I would be seriously concerned about."

"That would generally be my same response to any hypothetical requests for my husband to look through my phone. Like superficially, I don't care. It's just memes and pics of our kids. But the inevitable longer form conversation that gets triggered by that is why is the trust gone."

- golemsheppard2

Quiet the Haters

"I’ve offered it to my boyfriend for our one and only child to shut up all the naysayers in his family who were telling him it wasn’t his."

"And he said my offering is even more suspicious than not offering."

"Which, I don't know how the f**k that makes any sense, but whatever dude. The kid is yours. Do it or don’t. I don't care."

- linkxlink

The Terrible Mother-in-Law

"My ex-husband’s mom was really weird about our firstborn not looking like him."

"He and I are very different in looks, where he’s black hair, and tan skin, and I’m strawberry blonde, and very fair."

"The son was born with brown hair and blue eyes."

"He tans a bit but definitely doesn’t look like his dad... because he looks like a darker-haired version of MY dad."

"The crazy s**t was, my ex was cheating on ME for most of the marriage and both kids are absolutely his because I don’t play stupid games."

- Dorkadoodle

Child Support Conspiracy

"My father tried telling everyone I wasn't his kid (I was conceived maybe a week or two before he got caught cheating on my mum)."

"My nan took one look at me and laughed in his face. She eventually convinced him to acknowledge me and pay his child support. I love my nan."

- maybebabyg

Going No Contact

"When my parents’ divorce started getting nasty, my father accused my mother of cheating, and that I was the result of it."

"He asked me over and over again to get a test and sure enough, I’m his biological son. He didn’t believe the result and kept asking me to do more tests."

"Among other reasons, I don’t speak to him anymore."

- Loopnova_

Taking the Estate

"I got my revenge on my dad's family who never believed I was his (my parents were together for 30 years but never married)."

"He passed away without signing his will. At his funeral, his sisters poked at my nose and pulled on my ears, questioning whether I was really their niece."

"So I got a posthumous paternity test done. The entire estate went to me and I didn’t give them a dime."

- qiwizzle

Empathetic Testing

"I would not care. My husband found out late in life that he has a different biological father due to DNA testing and it crushed him. I would understand that the test has more to do with that circumstance than his trust in me."

"That being said, even after going through everything with his dad, he never tested our kids, but I told him multiple times to go for it and I’d be totally fine!"

- CharacterLoquat6950

Accidental Discoveries

"One of my best friend's dads bought her and her two sisters Ancestry.com tests only for her older sister to get a 'Congrats! You have a half-sister!' email after my friend’s results were submitted."

"Obviously, she called her dad like 'What the f**k is this,' and he had them retest the results twice."

"He had to be the one to break the news to my friend. He absolutely had no clue before this happened, and he broke down crying and told her that she was still his daughter regardless."

"We were 24 at the time, and I genuinely can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to be either of them receiving that news."

"Her mom even tried to deny it at first before finally coming clean."

- ElysianReverie21

Grocery Store Antics

"'Here's a picture of my kid' … 'and here is the DNA test proving it!'

"'Can I leave now, officer? He just likes to scream kidnap for fun…'"

"Sigh. I love taking them to the grocery store with me."

- drewbreeeezy

Dad Jokes Galore

"I recently discovered that none of our three children are mine biologically."

"I feel so stupid, I should have known something was up when they all existed before I met my wife."

"All kidding aside, as a stepdad, I do find it genuinely tragic when dudes completely abandon kids and withdraw all love because it's not theirs, not their problem. I understand complex emotions surrounding the marital betrayal, but I can't imagine just peacing out on a kid whose fault it categorically isn't."

- Overthinks_Questions

What's the Point?

"Our kid looks so similar to my husband that her face unlocks his phone."

"Sure, do the test."

- noopibean

Not the Mother

"As a child, I overheard my Mom say to my Dad, referring to me: 'She is nothing like me. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me?'"

"I really never had much in common with my Mom, and at that age, I didn't know anything about how babies are made, so I thought she was serious and lived with that doubt for a few years."

- MsMaggieMcGill

While some people were able to make jokes or could otherwise point out why paternity testing had been helpful in their own lives, most were concerned about the lack of trust asking for a test implied.

The Corporate Decisions That Were Met With Huge Public Backlash

Reddit user Astro_Shogun asked: 'What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?

Corporations don't get big overnight.

A lot of tough decisions, big wins, and sometimes even bigger losses, go into their growth.

But sometimes companies make mistakes that the public simply cannot let slide, and it can be hard to imagine how the company could stay afloat after the backlash.

Redditor Astro_Shogun asked:

"What decision by a company received the most amount of backlash from the public?"

Dang It, Photobucket

"When Photobucket decided to take the whole internet hostage by asking for 400 dollars a year for what was previously a free image storage solution. The move broke years of forum posting and erased a significant portion of the web collective knowledge."

- denpo

"Yup. And now they're holding almost all of my son's childhood photos (some of which I managed to save in other places) hostage."

- KnockMeYourLobes

"Browse any forum thread from the early 2000s and practically all the images are gone because everyone used Photobucket back then. It will be the same way with Reddit whenever Imgur goes under."

- NothingOld7527

So Salesy

"JCPenny doing away with sales and trying to present itself as a more upscale store. Sales immediately plummeted, and they reversed course quickly."

- flyingcircusdog

Cheap Jewelry

"Gerald Ratner said the reason his jewelry company could sell stuff so cheap was because the products were crap. It destroyed the company overnight."

- simplemtbman

Front Wheel Drive

"Ford, in the '80s, tried to replace the aging Fox body Mustang with a front-wheel drive, Mazda-based car. This was pre-internet, but car people got UPSET and deluged Ford with a letter expressing their anger."

"Ford backtracked, kept the Fox body around, and released the vehicle that was going to be the new Mustang as the Probe. It lasted two generations, but the Mustang soldiers on."

- StillN0tATony

Online Only

"Microsoft got roasted when they announced Kinect and always-online were required for the Xbox One. Took all the momentum they had from the 360 era and put them miles behind Sony."

- Jerry_Williams89

Childhood: Destroyed

"Sonic having human teeth."

- LightDash

"I just immediately pictured teeth in a Sonic milkshake and had a horrified reaction before my brain caught up to you meaning the character."

- Rolizas

Questionable Upgrades

"Very recently, T-Mobile. A company that 10 years ago called itself the Uncarrier by making a series of pro-consumer changes to its plans and the previous CEO built almost a sort of cult of fans of the company. Then T-Mobile acquired Sprint and got a new CEO."

"A couple of weeks ago, T-Mobile internal documentation revealed it was going to automatically upgrade customers on old grandfathered plans up to new plans, which were more expensive. Customers would have to call in to opt out of the change. 'They weren’t raising customers’ rates, they were moving them to better plans.'"

"Well, major tech news got ahold of that, and then even some local news stations, and T-Mobile quietly 'clarified' a week later via internal communications that only one percent of their customers would be affected."

- artimaticus8

Coming Together in Hate

"Anyone remember the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad when she solved police brutality?"

- vernon3

"Those moments are precious. There are a few things these days that bring everyone on the Internet together. That was one of those things. We all hated the Pepsi ad that solved police brutality."

"That ad had it all. Pandering, ignorance, arrogance, and talking down to their audience."

- notwoutmyprob

"And a Kardashian."

- Kitchen_action

With Every Purchase

"I couple of years back a local Detroit area car dealership decided the best way to celebrate MLK day was to give away free car alarms with every purchase."

"Nobody liked that."

- graveybrains

A Sale Gone Too Well

"Hoover UK offering two free flights to America if you spend £100 on their products. They anticipated that people would spend a lot more than the minimum required which would cover the approximately £600 value of the tickets."

"When the company was deluged with purchases around the £100 mark, they reneged on the offer, which prompted a very expensive lawsuit. The fallout was so bad that the UK division of the firm was sold to a rival company."

- Live-Dance-2641

New Drink, Who Dis?

"New Coke."

- PeggyWithPhatA**

"After the relations disaster, the public clamored for the decision to be reversed, and Coca-Cola released 'Coke Classic.'"

"Coke Classic soon had an even higher market share than Coke did before the public relations fiasco, and a new theory made the rounds: that Coca-Cola deliberately made these decisions, simply to gain publicity, and increase market share."

"The reaction from Coca-Cola’s executives was, 'We aren’t that smart, and we aren’t that stupid.'"

- Malthus1

A Tweet Turned Sexist

"Burger King stating that 'Women Belong in the Kitchen.' What they were TRYING to say was that they wanted more diversity. People didn't see it that way, and in the end, they had to issue an apology."

- zerbey

The Downfall of an Incredible Publication

"Here’s one there should be a public outcry about."

"Disney bought National Geographic and controls everything it does. This is the last year the iconic magazine will be available. I’m incensed."

- redheadMInerd2

(The writer of this article is equally incensed.)

Predicting the Future

"I feel like whatever YouTube is cooking up lately will be the next one."

- Just_Aioli_1233

"Tech companies sure know how to kill off highly popular and profitable apps, super quick. It’s interesting to watch it happen in real-time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, all losing tons of followers and destroying their own stock."

- Eleanor_of_Accutane

It's easy to see how all of these mistakes resulted in huge backlash, sometimes at the total expense and downfall of the business.

But some of these mistakes were made by companies that are still huge today, and to a certain extent, that's kind of surprising.

Demonstrator holds sign that reads, "Drop this act of corporate gree!"
Patrick Perkins/Unsplash

Companies are typically in business for profit, and very few have the goal of keeping the customer's interests in mind.

But some corporations go even further to get more out of their customer in exchange for their "quality services" and as a result, the line between general business and scam becomes blurred.

Redditor jwwin asked:

"What is a predatory business that shouldn't be legal, but is?"

Students paying an exorbitant amount in tuition in order to seek higher learning should be warned there are additional expenses to cover for.

A Textbook Example

"College textbooks, they will release an 'updated' edition every semester but the information doesn't change. And then after you spent a fortune on the books the places that buy textbooks will give you like 5% of what you paid for the book."

– teethalarm

A "Double Whammy"

"Former Prof here. I talked with a book rep about this once and learned a lot. It is a bit complicated but worth understanding. Book publishers rely on large quantity sales to make any money on a book because the cost of production is so high up front (author, editors, printing, etc.). So, for a book to be profitable, it has to sell a lot of copies to spread the cost of production across all the books. A paperback in the fiction section might sell 100,000 or more. A textbook might sell as few as 1,000. So, the publisher needs everyone to buy the book to break even."

"Now add colleges into the mix. Somewhere in the 1980s (give or take), colleges saw publishers selling books and making larger profits on them than the college bookstore was making per book. So they got the bright idea to start buying used texts and reselling them. Before that, a text would come out and 97% (making the number up but it was close to that) of the students would buy the book in year one, 85% in year two, 75% in year three, 60% in year four and 50% in year five. A $50 dollar book would cost $25 to make (again, making the numbers up), sell to the bookstore for $40 ($15 publisher profit), and be sold to the student for $50 ($10 bookstore profit). Across the five years, the producer would make a profit."

"Then, college bookstores began offering students $25 for a used book and selling it for $40 ($15 profit - $5 higher than that of a new book). Students would then prefer the $40 used book over the $50 new book. But that cut the publisher's sales from 97% to 50% in the first year. Because they could not sell as many books they had to do two things: (1) raise the initial price of the text to cover the production cost in 1-2 years rather than 4-5 years, and (2) cut the cycle down from 4-5 years to 1-2 years to ensure that they got sales of the book. That is a double whammy. Texts that used to cost $50 now cost $300 or more. And they have a new version out every 18 months or so. Students refuse to pay that price and that cuts the sales numbers even further forcing the price up again. And, with new editions out so frequently, it is harder to sell them back to the bookstore."

"That's why you see so many 'course packs' now - where a professor will pick a few pages from a book to give to the students. I went from having nearly every student purchasing a text in my early career to having zero students with a text late in my career. Your professor probably dislikes the state of affairs as much as you do. I cut down what books I would select because I could not justify students paying that much for what they were getting. I would also recommend students look for older editions on Amazon and the like which got me in trouble with my administration because I was not supporting the bookstore. But, it was difficult to teach from a text that no one had or had access to. The University's desire to generate revenue from texts truly was killing the chicken because it was not producing enough eggs."

"So look for an older edition on Chegg, Amazon, or the like and match it up with what your professor is teaching from the new edition. You are right, it probably has not changed. Be careful for the problems at the end of the chapter - that is often where the changes are."

– BewnieBound

These businesses parade as services but they are notorious for taking more than what you're willing to pay for.

For A Future Owner

"Rent to Own (furniture, appliances, TVs, video game systems, etc.) The mark up on the interest over time ends up costing 4 times the purchase - or more."

– PartyAlarmed3796

"Well the trick is to not pay (seems to be what a lot of people do)."

– Expensive_Ad2695

"Which is why those places are so expensive and why they're actually kinda necessary for some people."

"They're taking a pretty big risk on people with no credit, and if a person with shi*ty credit needs a refrigerator or other necessary appliance, there's usually nobody else willing to work with them. Also, most of them report to credit agencies so you can build your credit through them."

"I'm not a fan by any means and I hate that people are buying video game systems and couches through them, but I still think they're filling a need."

– Pitiful-Pension-6535

Money Sucker

"Payday loan companies – they're like financial vampires, sucking the life out of people with high-interest rates."

– neonliolia

"And yet most of them are owned by major banks... hmmmm."

"Bank of America, Wells Fargo, US Bank, JP Morgan/Chase collectively all own the largest payday lender companies."

– Bramtyre

"In Canada, there is an effort to turn Canada Post into a kind of bank that offers basic banking services to the most vulnerable. Not sure what happened to that, but it was an alternative to check cashing and payday loan rackets."

– hobbitlover

Greedy Event Vendor

"Ticket Master."

– LTVOLT

"Agreed. We went to a preseason hockey game the other week. Tickets were $5 each but there was around $8 of Ticketmaster fees for each one and you had to use their app to get in the door because the barcodes change like every 30 seconds or something. It's ridiculous."

– darfus1895

Where can citizens turn to receive genuine care without drying up their financial resources?

Big Pharma

"Health Insurance and over priced perscription drugs."

"Wife is type 1 diabetic. Her pump is over $1000 a month WITH 50% coverage. $177 for just the sensor pack. We have the best coverage we can afford."

– Dukeboys_

"US pays the middle man for health care coverage. The middle man and the health care provider come up with "health packages" you can buy into, just in case you get sick. It's just sick how they funnel money from the middle class into this."

– dcoolidge

"Healthcare insurance industry. They can straight up reject claims you should be covered for and make you jump through near endless hoops to get them to pay for the service that is part of your plan."

– ColdHardPocketChange

All Out To Get Ya

"Homeopathic 'medicine' sellers."

"Psychics"

"Domain search engine registration scams (fake emails or physical mail that shows up saying 'your domain search registration is about to expire' and look exactly like warnings that your domain name is about to expire)"

"Fake homeowner warranty/car warranty scams loaded with so many limitations and exclusions they’ll basically never pay out."

"Multilevel marketing systems like Amway."

– 4wqrewtety

Losing Sight Of Kids' Well-Being

"From my experience working in group homes for youth are awful. The owners only want money and the more kids in care the more money."

– OddReputation3765

Going Nowhere Fast

"Car insurance."

"You get penalized for using it. Even just once in some cases."

– Effective_Sundae_839

"1000% agree. I was rear ended by a hit and run driver while i was stopped at a stop sign. Literally came to a stop for 3 seconds max and got destroyed. Car insurance wanted to give me 4k and shut me up. It’s called the nuisance fee. I eventually lawyered up and got 25k out of it. But like wtf. B*tch that’s what we PAY FOR, following renewal of my policy it increased hundreds of dollars a month and that was even after i switched to a different company. 'A claim is a claim regardless who is at fault.'”

– HitBackZach

Businesses taking advantage of their customers should be a crime, yet here we are.

What companies can you think of that legally continue to look after their own profitable interests above providing a decent service?

Two women looking on over a sunset
Photo by Briana Tozour on Unsplash

Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.

Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.

Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.

Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.

Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.

Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:

"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"

Meow!

"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."

"I gave up."

"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24

Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...

"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."

"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."

"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."

"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."

"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."

"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."

"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."

"I was lonely and missed him."

"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."

"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."

"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555

Victim Of The Bottle

"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."

"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."

"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."

"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."

"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."

"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."

"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."

"Some people smoking weed on my bed."

"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."

"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."

"We booted the guy out the next day."

"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe

When People Refuse To Change...

"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."

"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."

"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."

"We got everything for a really nice dinner."

"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."

"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."

"He said, 'No thanks'."

"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."

"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill

It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...

"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao

Warped Priorities...

"Friends for over a decade."

"I was her maid of honor."

"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."

"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."

"I worked for her out of a home office."

"Watched the marriage deteriorate."

"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."

"She then started to treat her children like a burden."

"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."

"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76

Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...

"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_

The Green Eyed Monster...

"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."

"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."

"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."

"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."

"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."

"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie

Not There When You Needed Them...

"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan

What Goes Around Comes Around...

"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."

"He didn’t wanna get involved."

"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."

"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."

"I knew this not to be true at all."

"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."

"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."

"They eventually divorced."

"I cut them out of my life."

"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."

"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."

"No coming back from that."

"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"

"They’re unhinged."

"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."

"Karma."- NachosandMargaritas

Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.

Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.


man holding book on road during daytime
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.

Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.

Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.

I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.

I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.

I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:

"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"

Think Positive

"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."

– Firebolt164

"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."

"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."

– tyrannosean

"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."

– 2catsinatrenchcoat

"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."

– raoulduke212

Sound Advice

"Poop on company time."

– 1320Fastback

"Well, sh*t."

– CampDreamy

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

– mrselfdestruct066

Everyone Makes Mistakes

"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."

"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."

– MaximumZer0

"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."

– super5aj123

Gossip Girl

"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."

– GamerMomLife

"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."

– super5aj123

"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."

– DeadStar800

Do It All

"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"

– PublicEnema11

"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""

"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."

– Cacafuego

(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn

"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."

– kbrown423

""Never cut what you can untie.""

"- Robert Frost"

– sophistt_

It's All Public

"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."

– CouchieWouchie

"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."

– FrungyLeague

"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."

– squished_frog

Protect Yourself

"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."

– DejectedDonut

"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."

"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."

– Zech08

Work Friends

"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."

"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."

– Mobtor

Education

"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."

"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."

"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"

"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""

"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."

"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."

– tacknosaddle

The Little Moments Matter

"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."

"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."

– mxxiestorc

Learn To Save

"Pension! Pension! Pension!"

"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."

– Grayzo

Money, Money, Money

"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"

– awileycat

"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."

– QuantumExileMusic

Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!