Mothers Explain How They'd Feel If The Father Asked For A Paternity Test
In every relationship, there are bound to be some tough conversations, like how to budget and deciding whether to move somewhere new.
But there are other conversations, like getting a paternity test or going through someone's phone, that potentially imply a lack of trust.
Redditor BlueSharker asked:
"Women, would you care if your husband wanted to do a quick, basic, cheap DNA test to make sure the kids are 100% his? And why?"
Healthy Relationship
"I love the wording of a 'quick basic cheap' test, like hey, it's no big deal, this is a totally normal quick little thing healthy strong couples do!"
"Like, Baby, it's no big deal. I just want to test the kids' DNA to make sure I can trust you."
- kaksereciklira
Feeling Insulted
"I just asked my wife this, and she said, 'I will rip your nads off and feed them to you if you want that d**n test.'"
"So yeah, they care."
- exportz
Holy Insinuation, Batman
"Asking for this test either means:"
"1. You think I cheated on you but don't want to actually accuse me directly of it and deal with the fallout of being wrong which is both cowardly and insulting and also didn't work."
"2. You have been spending time on unsavory red pill internet sites and are dumber and more gullible than I thought when I married you and I've now lost all respect for your critical thinking skills."
"3. You don't want to be married or be a father to our kids anymore and are looking or an excuse to leave. Perhaps you are yourself cheating, or you are hiding some other secret or opinion from me and have been for a while."
"None of these scenarios are good. I would 100% be rethinking the whole marriage at this point. What else are you going to blindside me with and when? Probably better to just leave on my own terms than wake up one day and find you gone and all the accounts drained."
- Fantastic_Poet4800
Lack of Trust
"I wouldn't be opposed to the actual request because I have nothing to hide."
"But the fact that he felt the need to ask 100% indicates his lack of trust in the marriage and that is the bigger issue that I would be seriously concerned about."
"That would generally be my same response to any hypothetical requests for my husband to look through my phone. Like superficially, I don't care. It's just memes and pics of our kids. But the inevitable longer form conversation that gets triggered by that is why is the trust gone."
- golemsheppard2
Quiet the Haters
"I’ve offered it to my boyfriend for our one and only child to shut up all the naysayers in his family who were telling him it wasn’t his."
"And he said my offering is even more suspicious than not offering."
"Which, I don't know how the f**k that makes any sense, but whatever dude. The kid is yours. Do it or don’t. I don't care."
- linkxlink
The Terrible Mother-in-Law
"My ex-husband’s mom was really weird about our firstborn not looking like him."
"He and I are very different in looks, where he’s black hair, and tan skin, and I’m strawberry blonde, and very fair."
"The son was born with brown hair and blue eyes."
"He tans a bit but definitely doesn’t look like his dad... because he looks like a darker-haired version of MY dad."
"The crazy s**t was, my ex was cheating on ME for most of the marriage and both kids are absolutely his because I don’t play stupid games."
- Dorkadoodle
Child Support Conspiracy
"My father tried telling everyone I wasn't his kid (I was conceived maybe a week or two before he got caught cheating on my mum)."
"My nan took one look at me and laughed in his face. She eventually convinced him to acknowledge me and pay his child support. I love my nan."
- maybebabyg
Going No Contact
"When my parents’ divorce started getting nasty, my father accused my mother of cheating, and that I was the result of it."
"He asked me over and over again to get a test and sure enough, I’m his biological son. He didn’t believe the result and kept asking me to do more tests."
"Among other reasons, I don’t speak to him anymore."
- Loopnova_
Taking the Estate
"I got my revenge on my dad's family who never believed I was his (my parents were together for 30 years but never married)."
"He passed away without signing his will. At his funeral, his sisters poked at my nose and pulled on my ears, questioning whether I was really their niece."
"So I got a posthumous paternity test done. The entire estate went to me and I didn’t give them a dime."
- qiwizzle
Empathetic Testing
"I would not care. My husband found out late in life that he has a different biological father due to DNA testing and it crushed him. I would understand that the test has more to do with that circumstance than his trust in me."
"That being said, even after going through everything with his dad, he never tested our kids, but I told him multiple times to go for it and I’d be totally fine!"
- CharacterLoquat6950
Accidental Discoveries
"One of my best friend's dads bought her and her two sisters Ancestry.com tests only for her older sister to get a 'Congrats! You have a half-sister!' email after my friend’s results were submitted."
"Obviously, she called her dad like 'What the f**k is this,' and he had them retest the results twice."
"He had to be the one to break the news to my friend. He absolutely had no clue before this happened, and he broke down crying and told her that she was still his daughter regardless."
"We were 24 at the time, and I genuinely can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to be either of them receiving that news."
"Her mom even tried to deny it at first before finally coming clean."
- ElysianReverie21
Grocery Store Antics
"'Here's a picture of my kid' … 'and here is the DNA test proving it!'
"'Can I leave now, officer? He just likes to scream kidnap for fun…'"
"Sigh. I love taking them to the grocery store with me."
- drewbreeeezy
Dad Jokes Galore
"I recently discovered that none of our three children are mine biologically."
"I feel so stupid, I should have known something was up when they all existed before I met my wife."
"All kidding aside, as a stepdad, I do find it genuinely tragic when dudes completely abandon kids and withdraw all love because it's not theirs, not their problem. I understand complex emotions surrounding the marital betrayal, but I can't imagine just peacing out on a kid whose fault it categorically isn't."
- Overthinks_Questions
What's the Point?
"Our kid looks so similar to my husband that her face unlocks his phone."
"Sure, do the test."
- noopibean
Not the Mother
"As a child, I overheard my Mom say to my Dad, referring to me: 'She is nothing like me. Are you sure you didn't cheat on me?'"
"I really never had much in common with my Mom, and at that age, I didn't know anything about how babies are made, so I thought she was serious and lived with that doubt for a few years."
- MsMaggieMcGill
While some people were able to make jokes or could otherwise point out why paternity testing had been helpful in their own lives, most were concerned about the lack of trust asking for a test implied.
Once people graduate from high school, a lot of them know what they want to do career-wise, but they may not totally know where they want to go or who they want to be.
And while the twenties are the time to figure that out, there are some ways that people can really mess up their future if they aren't careful about how they spend their time.
Redditor KadduUltimate asked:
"What is the worst mistake one can make in their 20s?"
Know Your Worth
"28-year-old here. Best advice. Learn to actually enjoy your surroundings."
"But the absolute best advice I can give. You're an adult now. You are allowed to make boundaries and stick to them. Unhappy with something? Leave or fix it. I gave up way too much time feeding into useless issues."
"Oh, and smile more. People seem to like people that smile."
- Frosted_underscore
Think Through Parenthood First
"Having a kid."
"As someone who didn't have kids, and watching my peers growing up and the lives they lead and how hard they have it... wait forever. It's bliss. Plenty of money left over for savings, retirement, and vacations."
- KimmyPops
Learn How to Invest
"Not the worst mistake, but if you haven’t yet, open a ROTH IRA and start contributing… compound interest is a thing."
- FloobieToobins
Value Family
"Spend time with your parents while they and you are young! Don’t get so caught up in doing absolutely everything all the time that you forget the people who got you to that point. They, too, are racing time."
- flowerchild_3
Watch Out for College Debt
"Do not incur a mortgage-size debt in college tuition."
"You might be forced to continue taking classes to keep from starting the payment clock., while you also incur more debt. Also, you can't use bankruptcy to remove it."
"Instead, learn a trade: bring trade schools back. learn more about who you are and what you are interested in before taking on another lifetime commitment thing the boomers screwed up for us because 'screw you, they got theirs.'"
- cyrixlord
Watch Out for ANY Debt
"Credit card debt. Took us forever to get everything square after many dumb decisions and opening of multiple cards in our twenties."
- Ube_Ape
Expensive Items Don't Bring Happiness
"Signing a commitment for a high-priced place to live or car."
"Too many young kids believe they deserved fancy and nice, especially to impress others, and they end up scraping for dollars because of it."
- clem82
Giving In to Societal Pressure
"Thinking they have to start their whole life and career and be a homeowning family by 30... or be viewed as lazy, or my personal favorite, as 'wasting their potential.'"
- Suitable-Ad6145
Love Doesn't Have to Be Rushed
"Marriage."
"You and your partner are going to change so much between age 20 and age 40, neither of you will be the same people, and divorce is almost guaranteed."
"Wait until you're done with school and/or established in your careers."
- ConansMonorail
Dental Care
"Brush your teeth guys! And floss! The money needed to fix teeth is staggering in most places. Not even just the US!"
"Brush and floss twice a day! You'll be so thankful you did!"
- appleparkfive
Doing Time
"Going to jail. Don't break the law, kids."
- Thecooleo
Life Continues After Your 20s
"Thinking you’re supposed to peak in your 20s creatively, emotionally, sexually, and professionally."
"My 30s were when I learned that my 20s didn’t define me. My 40s have been f**king incredible. Hang in there."
- VampireCircus
Poor Healthcare
"Actively neglected my health in my 20s to maintain employment. Now my knees and elbows crack very loudly and it hurts when they do."
"Also, not all wounds are visible. I thought I was perfectly fine when I was 22. I thought everything was temporary. Holy f**k was I wrong."
- bumboclawt
Don't Forget 'Back to the Future' and 'The Terminator'
"Time travel."
"If you're a kid, the time cops will let you off with a warning, but as soon as you're older, any fluctuation in the continuum gets you 8 cycles in the penumbra."
"In your 20s, you're just not going to have the intuition to avoid causing ripples. Just wait until you're 30 and your chrono-mentor approves you for your first jaunt."
- Khaosus
It's Not an All-Or-Nothing Situation
" I think it’s important to remember that even if you screw up and make some bad choices in your 20s, you can still recover."
- OhNoSweetJeebusNo
Just like how some people think that high school is the ultimate time of their lives, others feel this pressure for every important detail of their life to take place in their twenties.
But the twenties are just the years where people figure out who they are and set the stage for the rest of their lives. They should be lived responsibly and safely, but they don't have to be taken seriously all the time, either.
We get it, we're all super busy, and sometimes it's really hard to get all the chores done around work and living our lives.
But there are appliances we can have in our home, like a dishwasher, that can make those chores much more convenient.
However, they could really ruin our day, too, if we use them incorrectly.
Redditor Loud-Situation2643 asked:
"What should never go into the dishwasher?"
Can This Go Without Saying?
"The toilet brush! I read a story here about somebody that does that regularly."
- BOFHOOC
"That’s disturbing. I had a landlord tell me to put my cat’s litter box in the dishwasher weekly to keep the cat smell down. I did not take her up on that advice."
- annissamazing
"Your toilet brush. My friend found out the hard way her housemate was doing this WHILE DOING THE DISHES."
- raz0rflea
Apparently... Dinner?
"Fish. I worked apartment maintenance and a lovely old couple ruined, like, three dishwashers in a row by using them to steam fish. Very gross, considering the pre-wash cycle uses the gray water from the last cycle."
"Smelled pretty bad, too."
- poppykayak
"Lasagna."
- SiloueOfUlrin
High-Quality Knives
"I'll admit, we run some knives through, but only the crummy ones. The good ones, NEVER, and ideally those are hand-washed right away after use and not left to sit with anything on them."
- InannasPocket
Cast Iron Accessories
"I found a La Creuset Dutch Oven on clearance sale at crate and barrel of all places. I immediately bought it. Still, a lot of money to spend, but it was the best purchase I ever made for my kitchen."
"I fully understand why people pass these down from generation to generation. It’s in amazing condition for the number of times I’ve used it. And it’s dishwasher safe!"
"I still hand wash mine, because it’s like a child to me, and I don’t trust my partner to handle it! I always said I’d be a chef if I didn’t love what I do right now. So the fancy kitchen stuff I have always gets hand washed."
"P.S. their website says it’s dishwasher safe, but they recommend a hand wash for longevity and because the enamel can eventually wear down in a dishwasher."
- TheGhostofGiggy
Also, Wooden Kitchen Accessories
"Wooden Cutting boards."
- theSealclubberr
"This is one of my luxuries in life. Using a machine to wash your wooden spoons will shorten their life by a lot. Hand washed and well cared for a wooden spoon will last decades."
"A set of bamboo wooden spoons is like $12, so I buy a new set every year or two. $12 to not hand wash every night? Yes please."
- mwbbrown
Liquid Dish Soap. Enough Said.
"My daughter did this once, WOW, what a soapy disaster."
- CRCs_Reality
Also, Laundry Detergent
"When I first moved into my own apartment, my mom gave me a sandwich bag full of about a dozen detergent pods as a 'These will help you start off on your own' gesture."
"The first night of living in my own apartment, I fired up the dishwasher. 20 minutes later while playing video games, I noticed this wave of suds moving toward me from the kitchen. When I say a wave, I mean it. I have never seen so many d**n bubbles."
"That’s how I learned my wonderful mom gave me both dishwasher detergent pods AND laundry detergent pods in the same sandwich bag. I had a 50/50 odds and boy did I lose, lmao (laughing my a** off)."
"Needless to say, this happening on my first night living on my own had me questioning what I was doing, and if I would be better off living in my mom’s basement for the rest of eternity."
- mitten_man69
We Need a Storytime for This One
"The part of the blender that says, 'Do Not Immerse.'"
- PomeloLongjumping537
Protect the Detailed Glassware at All Costs
"All my PRETENTIOUS fancy brewery glasses. Those designs are staying where they are."
- JonathanWattsAuthor
"I put a printed shot glass into the dishwasher that was part of a set. It came out clean all right, picture completely dissolved."
- Luneowl
That Would Be Terrible
"Your secret cash stash."
- ThinkingOz
Ew ew ew.
"Mashed potato residue. Oh my god, it gets on EVERYTHING. Especially if the chunks are too large to fit through the filter. It just sits in the water and coats everything."
- ioncloud9
For the 'Friends' Fans Out There
"Paper, snow… A ghost!"
- TheAceBoogie
Divorce.
"I found out recently, you aren't supposed to put your girlfriend's collectible Starbucks cups in there."
"They melt."
- scumbag801
Reddit's Got Jokes
"A baby."
- DrunkWestTexan
"As a new father, I wish you'd told me earlier."
- ancalime9
And Feathered Jokes
"A duck."
- beetus_gerulaitis
"Who are you that you are so wise in the ways of science?"
- MacTechG4
While dishwashers were invented to make our lives a little bit easier when it's time to wash the dishes, there are some items that, when placed in there, could really ruin someone's day.
TV enthusiasts could argue that shows on television are a more compelling and superior form for media entertainment.
A story arc can be played out to its fullest potential without shortchanging the audience with a two-and-a-half hour duration of a film.
While movies are in their own category, TV shows–including short miniseries–can engage an audience over a span of seasons as long as there is more stories to tell.
Some TV shows break away from the formula and can feature anthology–or standalone–episodes that are impressive in their own right.
Whether it's a featured independent storyline or a memorable moment within a show's season, Redditor stevenpost asked:
"What's the greatest episode of a tv show ever made?"
These comedic shows offered up plenty of memorable laughs.
From "The Simpsons"
"Marge v. the Monorail"
– bloom_picayune
That Dark Mockumentary
"What we do in the shadows - 'On the Run' (the Jackie Daytona episode)"
– Bakedalaska1
Such A Snakehole
"The snake juice episode of Parks and Rec."
– GuinessForDinner
Touching Cameo
"The scrubs episode with Brendan Frasier. I didn't know a 22 min show could make me cry."
– metarinka
This classic TV show still resonates with newer viewers.
It's Hard To Choose
"The twilight zone episode monsters are due on maple street"
"The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices... to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill... and suspicion can destroy... and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own—for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone."
"Will the real Martian please stand up is also a classic"
"Incident on a small island, to be believed or disbelieved. However, if a sour-faced dandy named Ross or a big, good-natured counterman who handles a spatula as if he'd been born with one in his mouth, – if either of these two entities walk onto your premises, you'd better hold their hands – all three of them – or check the color of their eyes – all three of them. The gentlemen in question might try to pull you in – to The Twilight Zone."
– theMothman1966
Here are some hauntingly compelling examples.
Based On The Tragic Event
"Chernobyl- Vichnaya Pamyat"
– hambone10
'... they mistakenly sent the one good man. For God's sakes Boris, you were the one who mattered the most.'
"Not the best line of that episode, but definitely in the top."
Shoutout To Firefighters
"It’s difficult for me to pick a 'best episode' from Chernobyl because in my mind it’s possibly the best television ever made from start to finish. Pacing is fast and there’s literally not a wasted shot in the entire series."
"Open Wide, O Earth is my honorable mention episode just for the inclusion of the firefighters. Full-blown body horror that hits even harder because it’s based on stuff that actually happened. The show has lots of excellent horror sequences but the firefighters arc definitely stands out as the most memorable to me."
– Hefty_Tendy
Picard's Wakeup Call
"The Inner Light - Star Trek TNG"
– Doit2it42
The Gripping Tracking Shot
"'Who goes there' of True Detective is a serious adrenaline ride. Great episode from a fantastic show."
– Smoque_
The Face Off
"Better Call Saul - Chicanery."
– earhere
One of the best episodes I've seen recently was from the penultimate episode of This Is Us.
After taking a break from watching the show after being overwhelmed with being behind, I was encouraged to keep watching it. I'm glad I did.
Not only did this particular episode profoundly give the beautiful show a worthy send-off, but it also helped me process a lot of emotions as I continue to struggle to deal with a family member living with a cruel mental illness.
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.