"Women of Reddit, what is your 'trying to buy a car/item but the seller is sexist' story?" –– That was today's burning question, this one asked by Redditor DEDCMDM94, and it served as a reminder that sexism is alive and well.
This is what it's like being a woman in a world that doesn't value your input or respect your personhood. A sobering read lies ahead.
Was once in a car crash and spend the next day sorting out panel beating, etc. Went to get the front axle realigned. The guy was incredibly condescending and questioned me for a couple of minutes with questions such as "now why do you think it's out of alignment sweetie". Got really fed up and just asked him to follow me out to the car where he went quiet and admitted it was bent. He would've only been a couple years older than me (22).
I was trying to rent an apartment a few years ago.
The landlord (who was a middle-age lady) kept talking about how I needed to find a husband to take care of the paperwork for me.
In fact, a whole lot of our conversation was about how I needed to find a husband. She also made passive-aggressive jabs about how I wasn't getting any younger. And she kept saying that I should have "a man around" to deal with basic things like changing lightbulbs and taking out the trash.
I wish I could say I didn't rent from her, but the unit was really nice and cheap for its size.
Ironically, every time I needed help with something, she said to deal with her (not her husband), because he was lazy and incompetent.
"We were having problems..."
We were having problems with our water heater and called someone to come take a look at it. My husband happened to take the dog for a walk just as the guy arrived. For some reason he decided he was going to need to cut a giant hole in our wall behind it. I didn't know any better so I started helping his move stuff out of the way. Just as he's getting his saw ready, husband walks in the door. Suddenly his entire story changes and actually all he needs to do is replace a small part. His attitude was completely different and magically he did not need to ruin our drywall. I was pretty frustrated.
"I went to a dealership..."Giphy
I went to a dealership to purchase a car after mine was totaled in an accident. My father in law drove me because my husband was at work. This guy kept ignoring me and talking to my father in law. Even after every question was answered, "I don't know what kind she wants, ask her." and "I have no idea what her budget is." I walked off and he was still talking to my father in law, showing him a car. I walked up to another salesman and told him that guy apparently didn't want to sell women cars and asked if he did. He was glad to help me and kept smirking at sexist guy while filling out the paperwork. I think there was some rivalry there because my sales guy was very accommodating and even threw in four brand new tires.
"When we were buying a house..."
When we were buying a house we told the lawyer to contact me. He kept contacting my husband instead and not even cc'ing me on emails. The problem was that my husband was working nights and sleeping during the day, so he wouldn't return calls or check his emails until the business day was already over. It was so frustrating! We actually had a deal fall through because the seller's broker did something shady and our lawyer's response came too late and was incompetent. When we bought our home, we used a different lawyer.
During my horse riding days one guy wouldn't sell me a stallion because I was a woman and I couldn't handle him. The stallion needed a "strong man like him."
Not me but my wife's aunt who is an engineer at one of the biggest car manufacturers working on engines.
She went to get her oil changed and the guy behind the counter kept trying to up sell her on the more expensive oil and telling her why she was wrong when she kept insisting on the OEM oil specified in the manual. She eventually had to tell the guy that she helped design the engine to get him to use the oil she wanted.
I wanted to buy a car that was present on the lot and not already in process with someone else (the kind of car where every dealership has 15+ of that car because it's kind of their flagship) and while I was allowed to test drive it, it became clear to me that I was NOT going to be allowed to buy it.
They told me they could sell me one, but it wasn't heeeere yet. I was like can you sell me that one, pointing to one on the lot that was exactly what I was looking for, and they were like ohhhhh no, not thaaat one, that one is not the sport version (I'm looking at it and I see the sport tag and visible sport-tier changes to the exterior). So I'm like ok you're weird, that's fine, I have another car to drive, let me know when "the good one" comes in.
I get a call, I go back to buy the car I asked for. The one that came in is the super luxury premium version. I say no. They've got another one, it's got wheel locks and an upgraded sound system. But hey! It's $500 off the $3000 difference in price! I'm a dumb woman, that must sound like a good deal to me, right??? I ask again if they're willing to sell me any of the many cars that meet my criteria on the lot. They tell me that none of those cars exist.
I left and bought a car from another dealership in a different town. That guy said yes, we have a car like that, it's this one, would you like me to put your name on it? Ok I'll have it detailed, come test drive it this weekend to be sure and I'll have the paperwork ready. Bought a car in one day, after spending 2 weeks trying to buy one somewhere else.
"I had a guy..."
I had a guy refuse to rent me an apartment because I'm a woman. I called to ask for details on the place, and he asked if it would be just me or if anyone else would be sharing the apartment. When I said no, it's just me, he told me a "single lady shouldn't be living alone", and he would not rent to me. When I tried to insist on seeing the apartment he yelled over me "GOD BLESS" and hung up. This was 2012.
"I was at an..."
I was at an airport duty free shop looking for a decent bottle of whiskey to get as a Christmas present for a friend. Shop employee came up and asked me what I was looking for, I told him I was deciding on a bottle of whiskey. He asked if it was for a man or woman and I responded, kind of puzzled, why does it matter? He told me it mattered a lot because women only like sweet drinks, and then in response to the totally baffled look on my face, asked me to explain why, if it wasn't true, women like Coca Cola so much.
I just...what? Women only liking sweet drinks is a common and irritating stereotype, but his reasoning...that women like Coca Cola, the most popular soda in the world...what?! Okay.
"I lived alone..."
I lived alone in a home I purchased myself. My husband and I were only just engaged and not yet living together as he had his own house and we were just doing our own things. I wanted to get new windows. A salesman stopped by and when he noticed the ring and asked if* I was engaged everything stopped.
He refused to continue the appointment unless my fiance was there to help make the decision. I kindly explained he doesn't own the house, I do and that he doesn't even live here (he lived an hour away at the time). The salesman would not do it. He would not sell me any kind of window unless my fiance was there, too.
Obviously lost my fucking mind over that, reported his poor behavior to his company and told them all to f*ck off. I got windows elsewhere.
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
"I am the wife and I always buy the car."
I am the wife and I always buy the car. The last time my hubby was living in one town and I was living in another town (for temporary work reasons) and he went to the dealership to try used cars. When he made his choice he told the sales guy he was going to have to talk to the wife about the sale so I get on the phone with the guy and proceed to tell him what we will pay for the car (used, 4yo, 40K mi Prius). He did the "I gotta talk to my manager" routine 3 times trying to upsell me but I just kept telling him what I would pay for the car out the door. He even tried "adding" stylish racing lines and heated seats and I said aren't those things already on the car? My hubby said they are aleady on the car why are they extra? After that, he just gave me the car for what I asked in the first place. We have done this routine for years as my hubby hates to haggle. I also am a retired Pharma sales rep....
"He proceeds to tell me..."
I was in a hardware store looking for some screws after one got messed up during an installation. I had the screw I needed in hand and was looking at the selection. A male employee comes up and asks me if I need help. I say "no, just looking for what I need." He starts to ask questions about what I need, blah blah. I finally give in and show him the screw. He asks what it's for. I tell him.
He proceeds to tell me that I'm looking for the wrong thing and hands me a packet of screws that are ENTIRELY different from what I need. I just say "thanks" and walk away, waiting for him to leave the aisle. After he was gone, I went back and and traded the pack out.
"I was at a hardware store..."
I was at a hardware store with my husband. He had to go to the bathroom so I told him I would go check out and meet him after. The checkout guy was asking me if I knew what anything in my cart even was, and told me I was "too pretty" for manual labor. He then said women shouldn't even need to work at all, since their husbands should be able to support them while they raise the kids. My husband is an A&P (aircraft mechanic) for an airline, and I realized I was wearing one of his hoodies from the A&P school he went to, so I told the checkout guy I was an A&P and threw a few buzzwords at him. He then asked if I was a lesbian. I reported him.
"My favorite story..."
My favorite story along these lines was the time my hubby and I went to Game Stop to buy me a tiny XBox 360 wireless controller for my tiny hands. The male clerk asked my husband what he needed. I said, "I need one of those small wireless 360 controllers." He then asked my husband what games I liked to play. My husband said, "My wife can answer her own questions, thanks."
"I wanted to trade in my car..."
I wanted to trade in my car for an SUV about a month after I got married, but before I changed my name. Found one I wanted, called my husband to come see what he thought. The salesman, an older guy who had previously been super nice to me, completely flipped the switch when my husband showed up. He started catering to him and acting pretty condescending towards me. When he found out we were newlyweds, he started asking if the upgrade was for babies or if it was a wedding present for the "little wifey"
Husband (who rocks btw) said "nope, this is 100% her car. She the breadwinner, I'm a stay-at-home dog dad" (not completely true, he runs his business from home, but I do make a lot more money than he does).
Salesman laughs like it's a joke and continues to talk options with husband, ignoring me.
I asked the receptionist who the newest salesman on the floor was, and then asked him to show me a Platinum package, fully-loaded 4WD version of the SUV I wanted. Bought it on the spot with all the bells, whistles and warranties.
I filled out all the paperwork while the old salesman was still trying get my husband to buy a completely different vehicle than the one I was looking at. He didn't even realize what had happened until the store manager brought me my keys.
I wish I had a picture of the look on his face.
"During wedding planning..."
Car salesperson kept drifting the conversation over to my husband when I was buying a car.
Car insurance kept emailing my husband about our joint car insurance policy instead of both of us. When my husband took his car off that policy (he sold it without replacing it), he kept getting all the emails instead of me.
During wedding planning, I was addressed regarding all the details, and my husband was addressed regarding payments.
Oh, and waiters always hand my husband the bill and the card machine, even if it's my card with MRS KHEANEY written on the card.
"As a female gamer..."
As a female gamer who majored in CompSci and sold electronics at Toys R Us during college, I don't think a day went by where I wasn't talked down to about technology by someone. But the absolute strangest one wasn't as a buyer, but came from an older lady who was looking to buy Studio Ghibli movies.
I'm also a huge anime fan, so I was excited to recommend my favorites and ones she and her grandkids might like... but she just refused to talk to me, and kept asking if there was another employee who "knew about this kind of stuff." She eventually caught eye of my long-haired, male coworker, and was like, "he looks like he would know!" and went off to ask him. He knew nothing about anime, but when he finally figured out what she was talking about, I saw his face light up. "Oh, you should ask ekyou over there, she knows all about that stuff!" And she stomped off without another word.
"My mum recently..."
My mum recently went to purchase her first new car from a dealer and brought my dad along with her. They looked around, a dealer met them and mum said she was after this type of car. The dealer proceeded to show cars like that to dad, following him all around the car yard selling away, so mum left and went and bought one from a different dealer that wasn't sexist and ignoring her.
Mum was pretty fucked off because she's never been in a position to buy a new car before this, and was super excited, but this dealer just wanted to cater to dad.
"I went to a dealership..."
I went to a dealership to purchase a vehicle with my then husband. We were certain of the type of vehicle we wanted plus the payments we could afford. Salesman puts us in a completely different truck with payments $200 over our budget. He convinces my ex-husband that this was the BEST deal for him and that it was all he could get. I said that we needed to go home and talk about it, knowing it would be a case of buyers remorse. Salesman looks at my ex and says "You need to get your woman in check." I never went back and proceeded to buy two vehicles from a dealership 4 hours away in the next month.
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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