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"Women of Reddit, what is your 'trying to buy a car/item but the seller is sexist' story?" –– That was today's burning question, this one asked by Redditor DEDCMDM94, and it served as a reminder that sexism is alive and well.

This is what it's like being a woman in a world that doesn't value your input or respect your personhood. A sobering read lies ahead.


"Was once..."

Was once in a car crash and spend the next day sorting out panel beating, etc. Went to get the front axle realigned. The guy was incredibly condescending and questioned me for a couple of minutes with questions such as "now why do you think it's out of alignment sweetie". Got really fed up and just asked him to follow me out to the car where he went quiet and admitted it was bent. He would've only been a couple years older than me (22).

AshSdG

I was trying to rent an apartment a few years ago.

The landlord (who was a middle-age lady) kept talking about how I needed to find a husband to take care of the paperwork for me.

In fact, a whole lot of our conversation was about how I needed to find a husband. She also made passive-aggressive jabs about how I wasn't getting any younger. And she kept saying that I should have "a man around" to deal with basic things like changing lightbulbs and taking out the trash.

I wish I could say I didn't rent from her, but the unit was really nice and cheap for its size.

Ironically, every time I needed help with something, she said to deal with her (not her husband), because he was lazy and incompetent.

Weinenschlagen

"We were having problems..."

We were having problems with our water heater and called someone to come take a look at it. My husband happened to take the dog for a walk just as the guy arrived. For some reason he decided he was going to need to cut a giant hole in our wall behind it. I didn't know any better so I started helping his move stuff out of the way. Just as he's getting his saw ready, husband walks in the door. Suddenly his entire story changes and actually all he needs to do is replace a small part. His attitude was completely different and magically he did not need to ruin our drywall. I was pretty frustrated.

albertagenuinedraft

"I went to a dealership..."

Giphy

I went to a dealership to purchase a car after mine was totaled in an accident. My father in law drove me because my husband was at work. This guy kept ignoring me and talking to my father in law. Even after every question was answered, "I don't know what kind she wants, ask her." and "I have no idea what her budget is." I walked off and he was still talking to my father in law, showing him a car. I walked up to another salesman and told him that guy apparently didn't want to sell women cars and asked if he did. He was glad to help me and kept smirking at sexist guy while filling out the paperwork. I think there was some rivalry there because my sales guy was very accommodating and even threw in four brand new tires.

wylderpixie

"When we were buying a house..."

When we were buying a house we told the lawyer to contact me. He kept contacting my husband instead and not even cc'ing me on emails. The problem was that my husband was working nights and sleeping during the day, so he wouldn't return calls or check his emails until the business day was already over. It was so frustrating! We actually had a deal fall through because the seller's broker did something shady and our lawyer's response came too late and was incompetent. When we bought our home, we used a different lawyer.

dogsordiamonds

"During my..."

During my horse riding days one guy wouldn't sell me a stallion because I was a woman and I couldn't handle him. The stallion needed a "strong man like him."

pumpkincheetos

"Not me..."

Not me but my wife's aunt who is an engineer at one of the biggest car manufacturers working on engines.
She went to get her oil changed and the guy behind the counter kept trying to up sell her on the more expensive oil and telling her why she was wrong when she kept insisting on the OEM oil specified in the manual. She eventually had to tell the guy that she helped design the engine to get him to use the oil she wanted.

huntergreenhoodie

"I wanted..."

I wanted to buy a car that was present on the lot and not already in process with someone else (the kind of car where every dealership has 15+ of that car because it's kind of their flagship) and while I was allowed to test drive it, it became clear to me that I was NOT going to be allowed to buy it.

They told me they could sell me one, but it wasn't heeeere yet. I was like can you sell me that one, pointing to one on the lot that was exactly what I was looking for, and they were like ohhhhh no, not thaaat one, that one is not the sport version (I'm looking at it and I see the sport tag and visible sport-tier changes to the exterior). So I'm like ok you're weird, that's fine, I have another car to drive, let me know when "the good one" comes in.

I get a call, I go back to buy the car I asked for. The one that came in is the super luxury premium version. I say no. They've got another one, it's got wheel locks and an upgraded sound system. But hey! It's $500 off the $3000 difference in price! I'm a dumb woman, that must sound like a good deal to me, right??? I ask again if they're willing to sell me any of the many cars that meet my criteria on the lot. They tell me that none of those cars exist.

I left and bought a car from another dealership in a different town. That guy said yes, we have a car like that, it's this one, would you like me to put your name on it? Ok I'll have it detailed, come test drive it this weekend to be sure and I'll have the paperwork ready. Bought a car in one day, after spending 2 weeks trying to buy one somewhere else.

84th_legislature

"I had a guy..."

I had a guy refuse to rent me an apartment because I'm a woman. I called to ask for details on the place, and he asked if it would be just me or if anyone else would be sharing the apartment. When I said no, it's just me, he told me a "single lady shouldn't be living alone", and he would not rent to me. When I tried to insist on seeing the apartment he yelled over me "GOD BLESS" and hung up. This was 2012.

ElectricDanceyPants

"I was at an..."

I was at an airport duty free shop looking for a decent bottle of whiskey to get as a Christmas present for a friend. Shop employee came up and asked me what I was looking for, I told him I was deciding on a bottle of whiskey. He asked if it was for a man or woman and I responded, kind of puzzled, why does it matter? He told me it mattered a lot because women only like sweet drinks, and then in response to the totally baffled look on my face, asked me to explain why, if it wasn't true, women like Coca Cola so much.

I just...what? Women only liking sweet drinks is a common and irritating stereotype, but his reasoning...that women like Coca Cola, the most popular soda in the world...what?! Okay.

ummmugh

"I lived alone..."

I lived alone in a home I purchased myself. My husband and I were only just engaged and not yet living together as he had his own house and we were just doing our own things. I wanted to get new windows. A salesman stopped by and when he noticed the ring and asked if* I was engaged everything stopped.

He refused to continue the appointment unless my fiance was there to help make the decision. I kindly explained he doesn't own the house, I do and that he doesn't even live here (he lived an hour away at the time). The salesman would not do it. He would not sell me any kind of window unless my fiance was there, too.

Obviously lost my fucking mind over that, reported his poor behavior to his company and told them all to f*ck off. I got windows elsewhere.

PrincessFig

"I am the wife and I always buy the car."

I am the wife and I always buy the car. The last time my hubby was living in one town and I was living in another town (for temporary work reasons) and he went to the dealership to try used cars. When he made his choice he told the sales guy he was going to have to talk to the wife about the sale so I get on the phone with the guy and proceed to tell him what we will pay for the car (used, 4yo, 40K mi Prius). He did the "I gotta talk to my manager" routine 3 times trying to upsell me but I just kept telling him what I would pay for the car out the door. He even tried "adding" stylish racing lines and heated seats and I said aren't those things already on the car? My hubby said they are aleady on the car why are they extra? After that, he just gave me the car for what I asked in the first place. We have done this routine for years as my hubby hates to haggle. I also am a retired Pharma sales rep....

femsci-nerd

"He proceeds to tell me..."

I was in a hardware store looking for some screws after one got messed up during an installation. I had the screw I needed in hand and was looking at the selection. A male employee comes up and asks me if I need help. I say "no, just looking for what I need." He starts to ask questions about what I need, blah blah. I finally give in and show him the screw. He asks what it's for. I tell him.

He proceeds to tell me that I'm looking for the wrong thing and hands me a packet of screws that are ENTIRELY different from what I need. I just say "thanks" and walk away, waiting for him to leave the aisle. After he was gone, I went back and and traded the pack out.

DancingChip

"I was at a hardware store..."

I was at a hardware store with my husband. He had to go to the bathroom so I told him I would go check out and meet him after. The checkout guy was asking me if I knew what anything in my cart even was, and told me I was "too pretty" for manual labor. He then said women shouldn't even need to work at all, since their husbands should be able to support them while they raise the kids. My husband is an A&P (aircraft mechanic) for an airline, and I realized I was wearing one of his hoodies from the A&P school he went to, so I told the checkout guy I was an A&P and threw a few buzzwords at him. He then asked if I was a lesbian. I reported him.

blondegator

"My favorite story..."

My favorite story along these lines was the time my hubby and I went to Game Stop to buy me a tiny XBox 360 wireless controller for my tiny hands. The male clerk asked my husband what he needed. I said, "I need one of those small wireless 360 controllers." He then asked my husband what games I liked to play. My husband said, "My wife can answer her own questions, thanks."

Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"I wanted to trade in my car..."

I wanted to trade in my car for an SUV about a month after I got married, but before I changed my name. Found one I wanted, called my husband to come see what he thought. The salesman, an older guy who had previously been super nice to me, completely flipped the switch when my husband showed up. He started catering to him and acting pretty condescending towards me. When he found out we were newlyweds, he started asking if the upgrade was for babies or if it was a wedding present for the "little wifey"

Husband (who rocks btw) said "nope, this is 100% her car. She the breadwinner, I'm a stay-at-home dog dad" (not completely true, he runs his business from home, but I do make a lot more money than he does).

Salesman laughs like it's a joke and continues to talk options with husband, ignoring me.

I asked the receptionist who the newest salesman on the floor was, and then asked him to show me a Platinum package, fully-loaded 4WD version of the SUV I wanted. Bought it on the spot with all the bells, whistles and warranties.

I filled out all the paperwork while the old salesman was still trying get my husband to buy a completely different vehicle than the one I was looking at. He didn't even realize what had happened until the store manager brought me my keys.

I wish I had a picture of the look on his face.

throwaway161633

"During wedding planning..."

Car salesperson kept drifting the conversation over to my husband when I was buying a car.

Car insurance kept emailing my husband about our joint car insurance policy instead of both of us. When my husband took his car off that policy (he sold it without replacing it), he kept getting all the emails instead of me.

During wedding planning, I was addressed regarding all the details, and my husband was addressed regarding payments.

Oh, and waiters always hand my husband the bill and the card machine, even if it's my card with MRS KHEANEY written on the card.

MrsKHeaney

"As a female gamer..."

As a female gamer who majored in CompSci and sold electronics at Toys R Us during college, I don't think a day went by where I wasn't talked down to about technology by someone. But the absolute strangest one wasn't as a buyer, but came from an older lady who was looking to buy Studio Ghibli movies.

I'm also a huge anime fan, so I was excited to recommend my favorites and ones she and her grandkids might like... but she just refused to talk to me, and kept asking if there was another employee who "knew about this kind of stuff." She eventually caught eye of my long-haired, male coworker, and was like, "he looks like he would know!" and went off to ask him. He knew nothing about anime, but when he finally figured out what she was talking about, I saw his face light up. "Oh, you should ask ekyou over there, she knows all about that stuff!" And she stomped off without another word.

ekyou

"My mum recently..."

My mum recently went to purchase her first new car from a dealer and brought my dad along with her. They looked around, a dealer met them and mum said she was after this type of car. The dealer proceeded to show cars like that to dad, following him all around the car yard selling away, so mum left and went and bought one from a different dealer that wasn't sexist and ignoring her.

Mum was pretty fucked off because she's never been in a position to buy a new car before this, and was super excited, but this dealer just wanted to cater to dad.

Wahnine468

"I went to a dealership..."

I went to a dealership to purchase a vehicle with my then husband. We were certain of the type of vehicle we wanted plus the payments we could afford. Salesman puts us in a completely different truck with payments $200 over our budget. He convinces my ex-husband that this was the BEST deal for him and that it was all he could get. I said that we needed to go home and talk about it, knowing it would be a case of buyers remorse. Salesman looks at my ex and says "You need to get your woman in check." I never went back and proceeded to buy two vehicles from a dealership 4 hours away in the next month.

kelbelled

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.

On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.

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Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

Image by Nguyen Dinh Lich from Pixabay

When I was moving on from middle school to high school my parents had me tested for the "gifted" program. By some miracle I passed and was accepted. And then I turned it down. Everyone was irritated. "This will pave the way for any college you want! You'll learn so much!" his path will set you up for life!" Every adult tried valiantly to sell me this merchandise but in my gut I just wasn't buying it. So I "settled" a level below, merely advanced classes. And upon reflection... it was the best choice I ever made.

Redditor u/dauntlessdaisy was wondering how far some in life got by asking... For those of you who were considered "gifted" in school, what are you doing with your life now?
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Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

There's a million things that can happen to you while out on on the road.

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