If 2019 has taught us anything, it's that men are the worst.
It turns out that most men and women agree. Men have forced themselves into power since the dawn of time and in order to keep that power, they uphold oppressive structures and singularly oppress others themselves.
But is that the worst part about being a man? Maybe not. Maybe below all that dark, deep history, there are even worse things about being a man.
u/canadianreject565 asked:
Women of Reddit, what do you think would be the worst thing about being a man?
Here is some of that speculation.
The Patriarchy Made This Problem
GiphyHaving to be the person physically in charge in a threatening situation. Like always being with a man when walking home from a party in a sketchy area at night. Yes there is safety in numbers but the dude is expected to be protective regardless of level of awareness, self defensive, or drunken-ness. That's a lot of pressure.
All Of Life Ain't A Tennessee Williams Play
I would think it would be being expected to do all the heavy lifting. To me, as a 64 year old woman, I do my best to move things on my own. If I must ask for help, I make sure my helpers are well compensated with cold tasty beverages and snacks/food.
Just because you're a male doesn't mean it's your legacy to be a physical work horse.
Being Emotional Is Encouraged
Emotional unavailability of others.
As a woman, I definitely face a lot of hardships that men don't have to deal with. But when I'm at my point of breaking, sobbing and inconsolable, I know I can message one of my friends (usually one of the girls) and cry and bitch to them about it and they will listen to me and really connect with me.
They will tell me how sh*tty the person who did that is, how difficult it must be to deal with, how strong I am for persevering in the face of adversity.
On the other hand, I've spent my life trying to be a non-judgmental source of venting for my male friends and I've found that basically everyone who I'm like that with ends up either thinking I'm into them romantically, or expressing how grateful they are for something they get so little of. Guys are told to just suck it up and push their emotions down, and I think it is harmful to all of us.
I'm A Parent Too, In My Own Right
I was a stay-at-home dad until my daughter went to kindergarten.
I've been accused of being a child predator while reading a book on a park bench while my daughter plays, have had the cops called on me when my daughter and I were just walking down the street 2 blocks from my own home, and have been generally looked down on even by family members while I was a stay-at-home parent. The "giving mom a day off" line is just emotionally crushing sometimes when it's said.
Maybe Gendering Things Isn't The Way To Go
Having an even harsher reaction when I'd go against gender roles.
I mean as a woman, there's backlash sometimes, but there's a whole movement very publicized that tells me that I can do whatever I want, and f*ck the nay-sayer.
I don't feel a man that would want to do something "for girls" or "for woman" as that much support.
Even Women Can Uphold The Patriarchy
Probably being forced to never... well, feel. There are so many people who make fun of guys for having feelings or even showing them. I would never be able to deal with it, and my heart broke the day my boyfriend told me his exes used to verbally abuse him for crying in front them.
Gender Roles And Then Gender Rolls
Being expected to be the "breadwinner" generally by society
Being less likely to gain custody of my own kids in a separation
Being "disposable" in times of war
DIY.
And... Having to deal with my own balls. What if I sat on one. Ouch.
Gay Has Nothing To Do With These Things
I think the "gay panic" stuff would be the most annoying. Guys can't make physical contact other than punching each other in the shoulder or high-fiving without it being considered gay. Sometimes I wanna give my friend a platonic hug or touch their hair or something, and if I was a man I'd probably be afraid to do that.
Why Is It Feminine To Be Healthy?
Depends on the situation of course but I have seem some real sh*tty expectations of what a "real man" should and should not do. Granted it's gotten better, but in some circles it's still real bad. I remember being 20 years old and a bunch of us were trying to convince our guy friend not to go out and get into a fight with some dude that would clearly kick his *ss.
My friend broke down and said he had to, dude messed with his older brother (his brother was a shady mf so who knows who messed with who first) and if he didn't step up and "defend" his family, he wouldn't be much of a man. This guy wasn't breaking into his house or anything, it was just over some disrespect bull sh*t between the guy and our friend's brother. That sh*t is f*cked.
Also being overweight and out of shape for a dude is pretty much embraced where I am from, if you try to get fit or even be healthy people are going to call you gay. Even women are going to call you gay. It's mad toxic, just the tip of the iceberg but living your life 40-50 lbs overweight does a lot of damage over time and that sucks.
More Than Numbers
GiphyTo have my occupation be the answer to what my value is. People have asked me so many times "oh so what does your husband do?" Like that's the only thing he's good for. Yes, my husband has a STEM career and he's done well but guess what? He's smart, kind, a great husband, amazing father, super handy, a great cook, handsome AF, had a great pair of legs, can put up with me, and he's my partner in life. All of that plus 10,000 other things makes him who he is not just his occupation or his salary.
Redditor K3na wanted to hear about the times we've witnessed people consuming food that left us SHOOK!
So they asked:
"Besides eating cereal with water what is the most outrageous 'eating sin' you have ever witnessed?"
I like mint chocolate chip ice cream. People hate it.
Apparently I'm a freak.
black and white milk GIFHoly Mooo!
"When I visited my aunt’s family as a kid she served a 'purple cow' - milk mixed with grape juice - for breakfast. If you haven’t tasted that, take my word for it - it’s not a great concoction."
DWright_5
"In elementary school, we used to mix the milk and juice the school gave us for breakfast to puke and get sent home early... apple juice and milk usually worked the best, I think grape juice and milk was a close second."
MegandapandaWithout a Refill
"I work at a pub/restaurant waiting tables. This couple walks in who I've never seen but are apparently regulars. The bartender sees them, shoots me a glance, and goes to grab something from the kitchen. Before even taking their order, he's filled the crushed red pepper shaker and told me to take it over to them."
"The woman orders a small cup of French onion soup and proceeds to unscrew the cap of this shaker and dump the entirety of it onto her soup, an inch high off the top of her bowl. She's eating this spicy red pepper like cereal and didn't even ask for a drink refill."
actorrent
Ho-Ho-Ho
"I had a friend who went through a period where cake decorating was her hobby, and she made some amazing looking cakes that all tasted horrible because of the bizarre flavor combinations. It was always a bit funny because people would compliment the look of them and then have to figure out how to throw their pieces away without being rude about it."
"The worst one was a Christmas cake with an immaculate looking fondant Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that was an orange spice cake covered in mint icing. It was like brushing your teeth and rinsing with orange juice in cake form."
TremulousHand
Angry Bbc Two GIF by BBCJust eat ice cream as it was meant to be.
On Everything
season 4 the lost mattress GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I used to be obsessed with A1. I would put it on everything possible because I loved it so much. One day I put it on jello. I no longer enjoy A1."
sunset1214
Masterminds
"When I was in grade school I went over to this kid's house to play, then ended up staying for dinner. We had spaghetti, some vegetable, maybe salad and something else. His entire family would mix everything together before eating it. His dad seemed to be the ringleader/mastermind behind this scheme."
"I remember someone cheerfully saying, 'Well, it all goes to the same place!' And then the rest of them agreeing with this truism as if it were some serious folk wisdom. That's some serial killer sh*t right there."
vprice509
Crunchy
"My sister would make ritz cracker sandwiches, except the thing that went between the two ritz cracker “buns” was another ritz cracker, except chewed up and spit out. it was disgusting."
pixelpha
"I wasn't going to tell this story but here I am. As a kid I would eat a whole bag of Doritos without swallowing, and then I'd spit out the pulverized chip dust and saliva mixture and roll it into a ball with my hands and then let it harden a bit in my desk at school between first and second break and then eat it again during lunch when the outside was a bit crunchy again but the inside was still moist and the consistency of a chocolate truffle."
contecorsair
In Coke
"When I was a server, I had a customer dip her bread in a glass of Coke. She finished her whole bread basket and Coke and asked for another basket and another refill of Coke, and went to town again for round two. She didn't give a crap how she looked and ate that crap like it was the best thing on Earth."
Love_Bunny_22
What in the name of Jesus?
gross dumb and dumber GIFGiphy"My mom puts peanut butter on cold pizza. It is the closest flavor to vomit that is not vomit."
Beneficial_Fudge
Good Lord. How do people eat these things?!
Do you have any bizarre culinary items to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor vicke1230 wanted to talk to the sleepless.
So they asked:
"Have you ever not slept for so long that you started hallucinating? What was your experience?"
I love sleep. I can't go without it.
Do sleep...
Tired Good Night GIF by DisneyGiphy"I was a passenger in a car and looking out the window the shadows from trees would morph and grow and move. It was kinda scary but I enjoyed it. It was like drugs before I did drugs. Don't do drugs. Do sleep."
cominaroundthecorner
70 hours or so....
"Yeah, after 70 hours or so. It's pretty disorienting and rational thinking starts to get very slow. The hallucinations are not realistic but are more like gaps in your vision that are shaped like things. Might see a silhouette at a distance or briefly around a corner."
"Very difficult to function in this state. Would not recommend."
Komi_San
Fire
"A buddy of mine landed a painting job working inside of a big commercial building and he basically stayed in the place for 6 days straight smoking and painting to meet his deadline and avoid hiring a crew to help him."
"On the 6th day the building caught fire and he ran into the lobby and was pulling people out into the streets and yelling to call 9-1-1. The firemen showed up and couldn’t locate a fire because there was none. He was hallucinating."
bigmikesbeingnice
At the Library
"During exam week I pulled 3 all-nighters in the library between tests. The library was open 24hr so I'd just stay up all night making note cards then go take an exam during the day. I lived off campus and didn't want to spend the gas money. I'd go to the most isolated area but the library would pretty much be cleared out by midnight."
"I started to see glimpses of people and I thought it was a bunch of students f**king with me but there was no one on that floor. I thought the lights went off at some point and maybe it was a sensor so I started jumping around to reactivate it but obviously, it was lit the whole time."
iBelieveInSpace
I hear things...
Fran Healy Reaction GIF by TravisGiphy"I went roughly 4 days on 5 hours sleep total. I could function fine but I would just constantly hear things like people mumbling right next to me."
CPTJSPARROW1
I could never function!
From Above
vintage spider GIFGiphy"Spent a few weeks only getting about 4 hours of sleep a night. My brain started seeing, from the corners of my eyes, black things dropping from the ceiling that looked like giant spiders... I started making sure I got enough sleep."
McChicken meal, please.
"Ex-addict. Was driving home after a 3 day bender. Needed food so drove into a Mcdonald's drive thru. When asked for my order I replied 'McChicken meal, please.' Then they asked me against and I said 'McChicken meal, please.' Then they asked me AGAIN and I was like 'Can't you f**ken hear me? McChicken meal!' and that's when I realized I wasn't actually saying anything, I was just replying in my head."
CompliantRapeVictim
Shadows
"Yes I saw shadow creatures and I thought they were out to get me."
dre2048500
"Me too. I had been sleep deprived for weeks (<3 hours a night most nights) and hadn’t slept the night before. I was out a walk with friends and we stopped for a bit and then I started seeing the shadows move. Then they looked like a pile of bodies and then I was convinced that they’d come drag me into the pit."
"OP, get some sleep this experiment isn’t worth it."
ileisen
"I'm better now"
"I had really bad sleep problems for years.. At one point I went to a party having been awake for 36 hours when arriving. I didn't really hallucinate also because I couldn't sleep, but when I finally did, I got the sleep I needed needed. The problem was mostly falling asleep."
"For me stress and lack of sleep triggers some form of sleep-paralysis and these weird dreams where I'm lying down somewhere and I can't see properly and I can't get up because everything is just so blurry and spinning around. It made me wake up in cold sweats and I remember once waking up and falling back asleep so many times because I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open, that I called my mom crying because I did not know whether I was awake or not.
"I'm better now."
softbabydragon
Talk to Me
Worry Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"No sleep for 4 days straight, it really messes with your head. All sounds heightened to the max and was sure I could hear all my neighbors talking crap about me."
ReverseShoplifter
Sleep is so imperative.
Do you have any hallucination stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor ItzTacoTimee wanted cops to tell us about the masterminds they've taken into custody.
So they asked:
"Police officers of Reddit, who’s the smartest criminal you’ve ever encountered?"
Most of these murderers on these Dateline shows are smart.
Which is what is most scary.
Deposits
happy work GIF by Soul TrainGiphy"My favorite was the guy who stole a post office mailbox off the street, repainted it, and then put it next to the night deposit box at a bank. And hung an out-of-order sign on the deposit box. All the businesses came along and dropped off their deposits in the mailbox."
pinewind108
"release to police"
"I worked with this one guy who had a lengthy record. He had a system for getting released if he got caught. After committing a crime, if the police were in pursuit and he knew he was about to be cornered, he would act insane. His girl would play along with it telling the police that he was off his medication."
"The police would arrest him but then send him to a mental ward with papers instructing the ward to release to police once he was cleared. Once he was in the mental ward, he would cause a distraction that would make the person attending the desk with the file cabinet to leave said cabinet. He would then crawl to the file cabinet, look for his 'release to police' papers, and then would literally eat the papers."
"When the psych evaluators decided that he was stable enough to be released, there would be no instructions to send him to the police, and he would be released to the general public. He did this about 10 times until police officers noticed him back on the streets. This stunt forced the state to change their procedure for detaining mentally unstable suspects."
g_baker
When in Walmart...
"A guy I went to high school had been stealing from Walmart in a pretty clever way. He would grab video games, mp3 players, beer etc. and throw them away in a trashcan in the garden section. The workers never checked the trash contents and he would just wait, sometimes 5 hours until they emptied the trash in the back dumpster and hop in to get his items."
"Once he took a cardboard box from a display inside, filled it with video games, a PS3, and extra controllers. He grabbed some tape and pens and drew all over the box and taped it up to make it look used and tossed it. An hour later he had a whole new PS3 and stack of games."
taylorink8
"I walked in with this"
"I heard about one person that pulled a shoplifting scam on a large, popular and well known U.S. retail store. They walked in with some cheap nylon product to get one of those 'I walked in with this' stickers they used to put on returning merchandise. The sticker easily peeled off the product undamaged. They walked to the electronics department, grabbed an expensive box off the shelf and went to Customer Service."
"They placed the sticker on the big box and asked if they could return the item without a receipt. 'Unfortunately, no. Not without the original receipt.' Dang it, and they walk out. Customer service even gave the door man the thumbs up having just interacted with the customer. This took place before widespread inventory controls and cameras absolutely everywhere."
nivenfan
The Follower
Location Gps GIF by AboutMedia Internetmarketing GmbHGiphy"I'm not a cop but I worked crime scene. This guy had attached GPS to the bottom of peoples cars who owned houses, he wanted to rob. He did it to ensure they wouldn't be showing up while he was ransacking the place."
Rachcake93
GPS Genius.
Enjoy the meal...
Food Eating GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"There's a golf course/country club in my town that has a PGA tournament scheduled in the next couple years. They have a guy repeatedly breaking in overnight and just lounging around and eating food, all on camera. The club refuses to report it so they don't hurt their chances of the tournament coming."
somejap
Drugs & Keggers
"This was in the late 90s-early 00s."
"A guy in my dorm came to school solely to deal drugs. He took out student loans, registered for a bunch of 300-person freshman survey courses where he would never be missed, then literally never went to class. All he did was go to raves and concerts and keggers and sell party drugs."
"After the first semester, he was suspended. He wrote the usual ‘I was young and dumb and in over my head’ sob story, and got put on probation for a semester. So he had a repeat of the fall. At the end of the year, he was kicked out, and didn’t care."
"He made something on the order of $150k, in return for about $8k in student loans to cover a year of housing and tuition."
"So far as I know, he was never caught. It may have been a short-sighted maneuver in the long run, but in the short run it seemed fairly genius to effectively use federal loans to start your drug business."
whistleridge
Into the car...
"Working in a home improvement store when younger. This guy came in, went to the snow blowers, took one and went to the return desk. Said he wanted to return it but had no receipt. They told him you need a receipt so he says ok I’ll be back and wheels it off to car through the front door. He did this a few times apparently. Couple places even helped him load it 'back' into his car."
ethan-bubblegum-tate
TRANSFORMS
"A french thief who spent 10 years in prison became a comedian when he got out. One of his stories... Finds a building, goes in, chooses a floor and TRANSFORMS the exit door into an extra apartment. Puts the apartment number, fake lock, welcome rug, etc..."
"Puts an iPhone for sale. The person comes to buy it, he opens the door in a shower robe and says give me one second, im just gonna count the money... and poof!"
"He's gone from the exit stairs."
ismango
So Hungry
block out no GIF by Heute-ShowGiphy"Definitely this guy who ate the bank robbery note right off the hood of the police car when they were emptying his pockets. Although I'm fairly sure he was still convicted."
Bonesnapcall
Even with smarts, crime still doesn't sound like it pays.
Who would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
