Clichés exist for a reason. They summarize the largest, collective group of individuals, simmering them down to an easy to understand quirk. Sometimes, they're flattering, others, they can be hurtful and offensive. However, in these specific situations, the women telling their stories can all firmly agree on these clichés: Men are oblivious when it comes to the ways of love.
Reddit user, u/AndrewS6969, wanted to hear when they just didn't get it when they asked:
Girls of reddit what are the most obvious hints you've ever given a guy, and he didn't get it?
How Much More Obvious Can You Get?
homer simpson episode 25 GIF
Giphy
I sat on a male friend's lap and told him "you should kiss me" and he thought I was joking. I thought at first I'd been reading him wrong (we'd been pretty touchy with one another for a while, but I'm also pretty touchy with my friends in general, so I figured he might have just been following my lead) and he was just being gentle in turning me down so I backed off after that, but no, he did like me, he was just that oblivious.
Dropped Stone Dead
Me, on rainy day: "I think dancing in the rain is romantic. Want to dance in the rain with me?" Him: "Nah, it's too wet."
He seemed surprised when I dropped all interest in him shortly after.
Neptune, I've Played Your Game Before
On a boat with a dude I had a major crush on. Sea gets choppy and I have to throw my arms around him to stay upright (Neptune answered my prayers!). I grin and say: "I'll try not to grope you ... unless you'd like me to." Nothing. (I assumed he was oblivious, but of course there's always the possibility he just found me repulsive).
It's Not Always About The Money
We made a bet over something silly for $7. He lost. He started checking his pockets for cash, and I said, "|I'll give you a choice: you can give me $7, or you can take me out for a burger." His response: "Well, a burger is more like $18."
Happy Ending.
He was flirting with me and he suggested he come over (wink wink). I said "hmmm yeah you'll have to see my bedroom!"
He backtracked pretty quickly lol.
This is the same guy who asked if I had any smiley pics so I sent him one with me smiling in lingerie.
He didn't get the hint till three years later. We now have a house and are planning a wedding 😁
That's Definitely Not The Appropriate Response
I was sending sexy pics, and he was sending back memes. I had to point it out and by the time we started anything, I wasnt in the mood anymore.
What Did You Think They Were?
We went on four dates before he realised that they were dates and not just two friends going out for the evening.
Not Just Friend Snuggling
I went to a friend's house to hang out, but I live about an hour away. I was planning on staying over (pull out sofa, etc etc). Well, I wound up sleeping in the same bed as the host. This happened three times over three weekends. He finally got the hint the third time (apparently after his roommate cleared things up).
Anyway, we're engaged now.
It's Like The Most Obvious Signal
First date with my first boyfriend my first year of college, he was walking me to my car from his dorm room. I was hoping to get his arm around me (yes, we were that innocent) so I told him I was a little cold. So he offered to run back to the dorm to get me his coat. After I took his arm and put it around me, he figured it out.
I still tease him after 15 years of marriage. :-)
This Is The Most Serious Thing You Can In Second Grade
Trying to hold his hand in second grade. He was just intensely confused. Why, Billy, why?!?! You gave me a holographic dinosaur valentine and m&ms on Valentine's day! I really thought we had something!!!! :-{
Well, Video Games Are Important Too
homer simpson pizza GIF
Giphy
Me to my husband before we started dating: Man, I can't believe you're single! Any girl would be lucky to have you! heart emoji
My husband: Nah, they can do better lol. Anyway, wanna play Left4Dead?
divyashaktiYou May Not Understand His Past
There was this one guy I liked and I try to play a little hard to get and have him chase a little and he completely ghosted me.
Come to find out later, he had been threatened with getting kicked out of school and possible jail time for stalking in the past by another woman. Didn't get all the details, but I think she blew it way out of proportion.
So now if a woman even hinted at not being into him, he just gave up right then.
What Did You Think We Were Going To Do?
"Why don't you come over to my hotel room and spend the night" like, I don't know how more obvious you need than that. He didn't catch on until the following morning.
Textspeak In Real Life Is Always Iffy
"I have a crush on you" I said
"lol" he said
he said "lol" directly to me. we were sitting next to each other, not texting. 2 days later I gave him a serious confession and he accepted my feelings, then explained that he forgot what 'crush' meant at the time and later brushed it off as a joke.
Foxxi01How Much More OBVIOUS Can You Be?
Maybe this isn't as obvious as I thought it was but I spent pretty much an entire school year flirting with my crush as hardcore as my little high school, anxiety ridden self could- I.e sitting on his lap or laying across him in some way, inviting him over to my house constantly, playing with his hair, literally kissing him several times- we were basically in a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Had a conversation with him once while I was practically laying down on top of him where he was talking about how sad it was that no one liked him romantically and my dumb ass just sat there like,,,,,,
no I'm pretty sure someone likes you. Like very incredibly sure( I suppose it's mainly my fault for not just saying something then and there) Found out after I left the state that he'd had a massive crush on me too but was afraid I wasn't into him- thought all my flirting attempts were just me being super friendly. It's been a couple years and he's still on my mind all the time lol
All Those Endorphins
I once had a crush on a guy in a running group I was part of. He was talking about a marathon prep guide that he'd found and I asked him to send it to me in the hopes that he would ask for my number. He told me to google it.
Later, we were all hanging out at a bar late at night and he and I talked and flirted (or at least I did) for the whole night but still nothing.
We ended up dating for about a year and laughed about all the signs he'd missed.
Now For A Man's Point Of View
I got one that makes me bang my head against the wall whenever i think about it. Was 17 then.
So one of my female friends was hosting a massive party in her garden (also massive, fit 20 tents and still had space) and very kindly invited me to it and said i could have a +2. So of course i take 2 of my best mates, buy alcohol to last us the next 16 hours and we walk down the canal for 50 minutes to get to her house.
It started off normal, you know welcoming everyone , small talk. This swiftly escalated to shotguns and endless chugs. A couple of hours in , everyone is drunk as hell and a gally (one of the hotties to my surprise) comes to sit on my lap. We flirt, laugh and whatnot - the usual. At one point she says that she desperately needs the toilet and she needed help. I was dumbfounded as to why she needs help at the toilet, so i politely decline and insist she goes solo.
She wouldn't even make eye contact with me a year after that. At least my buddies and I still laugh about it to this day but hell...sometimes it does make me wonder...what if i wasn't such a tool?
At Least It Worked Out In The End
season 3 smoking GIF
Giphy
Had a mega crush on a guy I worked with, let's call him James. He was the spitting image of Eddie Redmayne who I fancy the pants off.
A group of us at work were discussing Les Misérables, and I said how hot Eddie was. Someone said 'don't you think James looks like Eddie?' And I said 'yeah for sure, I fancy James too.'
He just laughed a little.
I was crushed!
(We're married now so he worked it out in the end!)
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I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
GiphyI'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
GiphyIrrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
GiphyBye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
GiphySick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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Reddit user jeffcarpthefisheater asked:
"Hey, how did you get that scar?"
and Reddit was collectively like :
"Yes, I would like to tell the story of the time I maimed myself and/or was maimed, thanks for asking!"
It's story time, fam.
Sinus Struggles
friends tv runny nose GIFGiphy"They cut across the top of my head, ear to ear, peeled the top of my face down, carved out my frontal sinuses like a pumpkin lid, put me back together, and stapled me shut."
"Repeated sinus infections in the frontal sinuses. Hard to treat."
- phantomtrain69
Me-Ouch
"My childhood cat gave me a diagonal scar across my chest when I was 5 or so."
"She had jumped from my lap and slipped a bit, the scratch was from her back paws. I was sad when it faded many years later."
- YarnTho
"Hmm, I should check something ... brb ... Hey, my boob scar from my cat is still there!"
"That genuinely makes me happy since she passed away more than ten years ago."
"I've got another one from her on my inner elbow. Both are from the one single time I had to give her a bath because she was having an allergic reaction to a flea medication."
"She was Very Displeased with the situation."
- Pammyhead
Carrying A Torch
"My twin brother accidentally took a blowtorch across my forearm while cutting metal in metals class in high school."
- ecsa0014
"I was cutting some square tubing in shop class with a cutting torch."
"I cut it just fine ... and then immediately picked it up, burning a square into my palm."
- sentondan
Samurai Shenanigans
samurai GIFGiphy"From a samurai sword."
"It was the first time I'd ever been around people my age drinking. A friend of mine took a fake swing at me; I grabbed the blade reflexively, he yanked it out of my hand."
"Cut pretty deep, hurt like a b*tch."
"But how many people today have scars caused by samurai swords?"
- Odd__Assist
"I also have a samurai sword scar!!"
"Mines on my right knuckle as the hand guards did not do anything for guarding my inexperienced hands. Nearly completely severed the tendon."
"I was sober and in high school."
- GENERALR0SE
Wild Berry
"Got severely burned by a wild berry pop tart."
"I was very young maybe 7-8. I was sitting on the counter and when I pulled the pop tart out of the toaster, the frosting was so hot it was bubbling."
"I dropped it out of reflex and it landed frosting side down on my leg. I remember brushing it off and my skin melted off with it."
"I had to go to the emergency room."
"Now 15 years later and I still have the scars on my leg, no hair grows where it was burned."
"No one told me poptarts could turn hostile. I was so young and naive, innocent to the world and the horrors it possesses."
"Wild berry pop tart showed me pain, showed me torture, scarred me for life. I shall never forget, and I shall never forgive."
- Snowfreak2507
"That's why I stick to domesticated Pop-Tarts."
- adrianmonk
The Foam Pit
Flying Major Air GIF by Nitro CircusGiphy"My legs are all kinds of f*cked up."
"I lost track of which scars came from where, but the ones on my right leg are the gnarliest and those I definitely remember."
"A couple of years ago a friend of mine took me to an indoor bike park. Ramps and jumps and a pump track. It was a lot of fun."
"Well he talked me into going off of this big jump into a foam pit; the kind where you can practice tricks without getting hurt. Well.....I got hurt."
"I landed in the foam pit. It's just that the bike landed there first and I landed directly on top of the bike. Despite the foam padding I ripped my leg to shreds on the pedals."
"Blood everywhere. Thankfully no stitches."
"I'm glad my girlfriend at the time was a nurse."
- Extrasherman
A Cyst On My Spine
"Back surgery to remove a bone cyst on my spine."
"It was squeezing my spinal cord and I could barely walk. That resulted in two surgeries, about a 10" scar down my back, another long one under my armpit (part of the work meant collapsing my lung so they could get to stuff), and a small one on my hip that a bone graft came from."
"My surgeon was great. He rebuilt 2 vertebrae from the grafts, bolted everything together, and I wore a full torso brace for half a year."
"At my last checkup, he said he didn't want to see me again, which I was happy to oblige."
- EvlMinion
Power Ranger Practice
"It was the summer of 1994..."
"I was a Power Ranger practicing some killer ninja moves on the bed in my grandparents' guest bedroom. My head smashed into the ceiling light fixture and one of the shards got me in the leg and sliced it open."
- MichiganBottleDepot
Pizza Rolls And Harry Potter
Season 6 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"Drunkenly decided a French knife was the proper tool for opening Pizza Rolls. It wasn't."
"So I stop with the pizza rolls and grip my finger, now dripping with blood, all the way to the bathroom. I patched it up in the bathroom and went to go lie down on the couch. Except I never made it."
"Woke up on the floor to my roommates shaking me awake, saying that they 'heard a sound and called out, but got concerned' when I didn't answer them."
"I had turned the corner into the living room too quickly in my stupor and smashed my forehead into the 90⁰ angle of my doorframe. Knocked myself out."
"I cosplay Harry Potter every day now. And yeah, the finger scarred, too."
"Drunken munchies made me fight my house and my house won. Two scars, one bad decision."
- Tri4ceunited
You're up, folks. Tell us how you got that scar.
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Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
Out Of Office Summer GIF by Merge MansionGiphy"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
Giphy"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
miss cleo fraud GIFGiphy"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
fire burning GIFGiphy"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
Drag Racing Vegas GIF by Don Schumacher RacingGiphy"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
Johnny Depp Drinking GIFGiphy"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
Smell It Season 6 GIF by This Is UsGiphy"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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