Women Share Their Craziest 'I Am The Client, Not My Husband' Stories
It must be frustrating for women married to their husbands to be overlooked with business transactions they initiated.
For the record: a client is not always a man.
Curious about the experiences of female clients, Redditor teacherspet5859438e asked:
Ignored In HER Own Home
"Wasn't my husband, not even my boyfriend, but a guy friend I happened to have round when a joiner came to fix something in MY home. I welcomed the joiner in, started talking to him about the issue, then he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him. He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home."
"Don't Talk To Me"
"It's not so much a particular story but when I was shopping for a car several years ago the salesmen at every dealership kept talking to my husband instead of me even though I was the one who contacted the dealerships and made sure to introduce myself first. My husband got sick of it and started telling them 'Don't talk to me, it's not my car. Talk to her.'"
"I wound up buying from a saleswoman who treated us equally until she pretty quickly figured out my husband was not involved whatsoever in the decision."
"She's The Boss"
"I took my colleague out to lunch. He wasn't a subordinate he was at the same level, however I was given a company card and he wasn't, due to the nature of our jobs. When the bill came around, the waitress gave it to him because she assumed he would be paying. He graciously grabbed the bill and gave it to me and said 'she's the boss.' Smart move: made me feel validated, and he got a free lunch."
When Pat Failed At His Job
"At work, I manage a few facility systems in our building (think air handlers, water purification, etc.) I was meeting a new vendor (let's call him 'Pat') that was servicing one of the systems I was overseeing. Pat had already met the facilities engineer (also a man), so this coworker was introducing me to him. Instead of talking directly to me, Pat turned to my coworker after shaking my hand and asked him, 'and what does she do here?' A few weeks later, he had the unpleasant opportunity to learn that I'm the one who calls him when his company falls through and doesn't deliver. Needless to say, I was not overly polite about it when Pat failed to do his job."
When Mom Fought The Admissions Guy
"Happened to my mom when we went to look at colleges."
"The admissions guy opened by shaking my dads hand, constantly directed questions at my dad, and would look to him for confirmation whenever my mom said something."
"My mom is defacto the money person of our family unit. She manages the family finances and investments and stuff, and was way way way more qualified to comment on things like student loans or expected contribution. When we left that meeting she was absolutely furious that she had to basically fight the admissions person to have a normal conversation."
What The Husband Says
"I am the money person in our relationship and this happens to me all the time. Every car we've bought, place we've rented, investment we've made, you name it. My husband is now very confident in telling the people that if they keep trying to talk to him about it the only decision he will be able to make is telling them to get lost."
When Mom Was Single
"My mom is single when she went and did all the paperwork with my sis(she was 17 for a few more months) they asked automatically when her husband would be there I'm glad I wasn't in that office when that happened."
"This Is MY Land"
"Not a 'client' per se, but a relevant story.....I (38 F[emale]) caught some hunters trespassing on my property. I wasn't rude to them at all, just waved from the other side of the field. The next day they show up at my house and one gestures towards the police car in the driveway and asks to speak to my husband about hunting in our woods. I was like 'you can talk to him if you want, but that's my cruiser and this is my land not his.' They still insisted on getting permission from my husband."
"My husband and I had our backyard completely dug up and relandscaped when we bought our house. The landscaper was an older guy, probably around my dad's age, and my husband and I are pretty young to be homeowners, so I could kinda understand this dude's condescending attitude. When he came over the first time to do the estimate he almost exclusively addressed my husband even though I'd made it clear I was the one who was doing the designing and knew what I wanted done. When the work was done and I paid him, he kept looking behind me for my husband and almost didn't give me the aftercare instructions for the new sod, saying he wanted to make sure it was done right so he'd email them to my husband. I finally snapped, 'Give me the damn piece of paper, Bruce! I'm the one who will be home during the day to do the damn thing!' (I worked nights at the time). He reluctantly handed it over and called my husband the next day to make sure the lawn got watered. My husband told him, 'You'd have to ask her, Bruce. She told you she'd do the damn thing' and hung up."
"I had, indeed, done the damn thing."
The Quote Denier
"We were looking into replacing our roof, and found a metal roof company who was running a promotion, so I gave them a call and scheduled for someone to come out and give us a quote. I was able to answer all of his questions, but he refused to give me a quote without my husband present (with some 'sign before we leave for best price' excuse), and was intent on driving back over the following day (when my husband would be home). I called their main office shortly after he left and said I wasn't interested in any high-pressure sales tactics, I just wanted a quote, and if they wouldn't give that to me, the one who would be paying for it, then to not bother coming back out. Didn't see them again. The three other roofing companies I contacted had no problem dealing solely with me."
A car for me
We were buying a car for me. Paying for the whole thing outright, but financing the minimum amount because they ran a deal that got us $1500 off if we financed through them (we paid the whole note the next month), so of course we had to sit in the salesman's office for an inordinately long amount of time answering questions.
The salesman, who was great in every other way because he was a hands-off, no-pressure guy (we walked from several other places when they attempted to pressure us), would ask my husband the questions. My husband pointed at me and said "I don't know, it's her car." Salesman said "Of course, but we all know how it goes, right?" and kept asking him.
So what ended up happening, because we both wanted to get the paperwork signed and get the hell out of there with the car but we were also on the same wavelength wondering about how far we could go with this, was that the salesman would ask my husband the question. Husband would blatantly turn to me and repeat the question, I would answer him, then he would turn back to the salesman and repeat exactly what I'd said. Dude never got the idea that maybe he could...just ask me the questions.
On the car we bought for my husband a few years later, since we put both our names on the paperwork we both had to sign. The finance guy saw my last name was different and asked when we were getting married. And was confused when we said "Er, eight years ago?"
The one with the chequebook
Was invited to a weekend away with a supplier to launch their new range. My husband went with and on the 'order day' the Financial Manager of the supplier came up to my husband and asked him what he thinks about the new range and what he is considering to buy. My husband replied very dryly that he is only the plus 1 and that he must speak to me seeing that I am the one with the chequebook.
I'm that husband lol. My wife is a RVT(registered veterinary technician) think RN but for animals. We took a work vacation last year for a conference she wanted to go to out of state. It was only a few days so we decided to just extend it and make a vacation of it. I'm there with her at the zoo getting a behind the scenes look at stuff (super cool by the way I got to pet an elephant and feed a giraffe) and someone is asking me technical questions and I'm like "I'm the plus one, loving the zoo though"
She's the boss
When I was buying my house, I took my boyfriend with me to the viewing and realtor was talking mostly to him and even ended up calling him with bids on a house. Yes, the house I purchased all on my own and is mine. I don't take myself too seriously and I'm not easy to upset or embarrass, so I didn't really care, I was riding high on a wave of winning a bidding war.
Edit: I honestly didn't expect so many reactions, thank you. I think I should say that I often find myself in a similar situations, where the sales person looks at my boyfriend ( yes, still the same guy, 7 years and counting) for approval or answers and my boyfriend always replies along the lines : "don't look at me, she's the boss / she's a the one making decision / she's the one buying" and now that I'm thinking about it, I've never really had to tell anyone myself, he was always first to tell them. Maybe that's the reason why I never really thought much about it.
Sternly let him know
This is mine too. My husband and I were selling our home and buying a new one. He is self-employed so everything with the ownership was only me and my income (same as our first time buying). The realtor kept referring to my husband for the whole process. Realtor would ignore my texts, calls, and emails. I would call him with a question, leave it on his VM and then he would call my husband with a response.
I was being completely ignored so my husband ended up calling the realtor and VERY sternly letting him know that I was in charge of everything related to the buying, selling, qualifying, etc and that all questions, paperwork, and information should go solely to me. For some reason the dude couldn't believe that I, as a female, was selling a home I had purchased on my own and was buying a new home on my own.
I just excuse myself
I'm the husband, but when we have any kind of work done on our house everyone constantly tries to make eye contact with me and pal around. My wife does all of that stuff. I don't know anything about any of it. I literally spend the whole time redirecting people to deal with her. Sometimes I just excuse myself and have her fill me in on details (which I don't care about or need to know) later.
Exclusively approach me
My wife and I in Dubai, being the middle East they would exclusively approach me but the credit card was hers. Every damn time
Speak to me directly
This was my experience with my boyfriend in Vietnam. I sort of expected it, but it still ended up really bothering me.
No one ever spoke to me directly if we were together. At a restaurant, we were clearly done with our meal and my boyfriend went to use the restroom. I looked over at the female servers and made eye contact while trying to signal them. They just stared at me back. I piled plates together: nothing. A few minutes later my boyfriend comes back and they approach to ask him if he wants anything else or the check. Nothing to me.
Even when him and I tried the hotel spa, which usually are sexist in the other direction and cater towards women, they only asked "Mr. So-and-so, how was everything?" Not a word to me. It took away from the enjoyment.
"Reddit user MonkeyGentleman420 asked: 'What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?'
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMintfalling GIFGiphy
Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy
In Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy
Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buckseason 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy
When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big DealIllustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy
"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
"Never admitting a mistake."
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
AfterthoughtSad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
BehaviorAndre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Talk to MeSarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy
"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.
Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.
One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823Cats Dragging GIFGiphy
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
Good Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
On A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
What About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
Or Two Sets Of Twins
"Armadillos always have offspring as quadruplets."
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
Who's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence
We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.
But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.
Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:
"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"
Time for an Upgrade
"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."
"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."
"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."
No More Spark
"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."
"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."
"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."
"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"
"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"
Misery Loves Company
"Now we are both broken."
"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."
Getting to Watch a Partner Grow
"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."
"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."
"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."
"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."
"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."
"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."
Not a Match
"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."
"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."
In Their Nature
"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."
"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."
The Importance of Boundaries
"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."
"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."
Happily Ever After
"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."
An Uncommon Ending
"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."
"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."
A Little Help from Our Friends
"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."
"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."
All Their Idea
"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."
A Helping Hand
"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."
"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."
"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."
"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."
"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."
"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."
Best Friends Forever
"It went well but it didn’t work out."
"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."
"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."
"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."
So Worth the Investment
"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."
"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."
"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."
"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."
"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."
In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.
There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/