Rents are high Heck... RENT! Is out of this world insane no matter where you reside. So often many of us have to find roommies to sustain. And that can be a great situation but it can also lead to immense trouble. Observe....
Redditor wheresmyroom posted about a dwelling situation fraught with drama...
Hi there. I'm writing this on a throwaway because to be honest I never thought I'd need to post here but what can you do.
So I moved into this flat about 8 months ago. I met "Lana" online on a roommate website, and we clicked well. She's a bit younger but seemed mature. We quickly agreed to be roommates (both of us were under time constraints to find a place to live) but have got on really well so far (up until this).
Our flat is a two bedroom, and to be frank, my room is clearly the better one. It's bigger and has built in wardrobes. When looking for the flat, I found the place first on my own and put down a deposit to take it off the market while I found another roommate. The flat was perfect, cheap rent and my aunt manages the property, so I was keen to snap it up before anyone else did. The area it's in is popular so I wasn't really worried about not finding someone to room with.
Because of the above and that I was there first, I took the bigger room naturally. When showing potential roommates (including Lana) round, I was sure to show the smaller room and say "this would be your room".
We moved in 8 months ago, and it's been happy families. Never heard Lana complain about her room. Because I have about 6x the wardrobe space that she does, I told her she's welcome to store her off season clothes in there, or whatever she wants to store, as long as she's not popping in every morning to get dressed. She was happy with this.
Just over a month ago, I went travelling. Now I'm not the biggest fan of having people in my room, but I told Lana if she had someone stay (her sister, friends from home) they could sleep in my bed. She said thanks, and as she's been such a great roommate and rarely has guests except her boyfriend, I didn't worry at all.
I came back yesterday. I was exhausted from the flight and traveling, and just wanted to shower and sleep. As I walked in Lana was in the living room with her boyfriend. We said hello and hugged, had a very quick catch up, blah blah. Then I dragged my suitcase to my room, opened the door and found it full of stuff that was not mine. I kind of yelled "what the hell?" and briefly thought I was so jet lagged I was confused, but opened the door to Lana's room and saw all my stuff.
I walked into the living room and asked Lana what was going on and she said "Oh sorry, I forgot to mention, we put my stuff in your room just because it's bigger and you weren't here and you said I could use it." I was honestly so tired I could have passed out then, so I probably wasn't in the best state, and told her to move it all back immediately. She said they were in the middle of making dinner and I looked tired so I should have a sleep. Her boyfriend then said "And anyway, you pay the same rent so isn't it fair that you both get the big room at some point." I was getting really frustrated and could feel tears welling up (hysterical from lack of sleep) so I just said "We'll deal with this tomorrow, and it's getting moved back" and then I went to sleep in not my room.
I've woken up now and I'm so pissed off. Lana's at work so I can't talk to her but what should I do when she's home? I feel like this is going to turn into an argument, I don't think it'll be as simple as "okay let's swap now you're home."
I went traveling for a month and told my roommate she could use my room for guests if needed. While I was gone she swapped all our stuff and moved into my much bigger and better bedroom. Never had a problem with her before but she doesn't seem like she's planning on swapping back. What do I do when I speak to her after work?
I'll be talking to her when she gets in because this is out of character for her, to the point of it being bizarre. She's never been anything but a model roommate, so I'm gonna give her a chance before we're donezo. If she wants to be reasonable and have a chat about rent portions I'm happy to do that. She's never had a problem with the rent before, and honestly I've never had uneven rent amounts in any place I've ever lived (whether I had a bigger room or smaller room) but a lot of people here are saying it's the norm so I'm open to talking about it if she's not ridiculous.
I texted Lana to tell her I moved my stuff back. She didn't reply to me, fine whatever, but she didn't kick off so I figured we were okay. I told my Aunt what had happened, who was as baffled as all of you, and I told her it was probably all sorted, just keeping her in the loop. I also told my boyfriend, who works about 5 mins down the road. He offered to come round, incase Lana's boyfriend came round, but I told him not to because then we're ganging up on Lana. He insisted on going for a "coffee" with his mate a couple roads away incase we needed backup. Which is a bit ridiculous but very cute of him.
So I did get myself a glass of wine while waiting for Lana, not because I was nervous I just like wine, and she came home. I was sat in the living room and gave her a very cold "hi" when she walked in. She sort of froze, bag in hand, and her eyes darted between me and my/not her/our bedroom door. She blurted "did you do it!?" and I said "what, move the rooms back? Yeah of course." and her eyes went all wide and she dropped her bag and ran into the bathroom. I could hear her talking on the phone so I was like yipeeeee I guess Tom's coming round fuuuuuun!
Discuss ownership...
GiphyShe moved your things out when you weren't there. You're off work now, just swap things back straight away. Start with stripping the beds and changing the linen over.
I wouldn't leave it till tomorrow, it normalizes the situation. If she comes home whilst you're in the middle of it, just keep going or ask her to help you. Her bf should keep out of it. I assume he's lived there full-time over the last month, and he's seeing it as 'their' flat now.
Where are his receipts?
GiphyJust to add, boyfriend has no say in this unless he is on the lease. If he tries to butt in, you tell him "unless you're paying me rent too, you don't contribute to this conversation."
The Lana / Tom Saga Continues
The original poster wasn't done, yet. Let's dive back in:
I heard the door unlock and I was about to go full hulk on how psycho she is, when she came out of the door and stood between our bedrooms. Their doors are adjacent and she just stared between them both, breathing heavily? It was really odd. Then I noticed she was crying and getting a bit panicky, so I asked what was going on.
She burst into tears and said "Omg he's going to kill me" and just sobbed so yeah it was the boyfriend's idea completely, as a lot of us suspected. She's honestly always been a perfect roommate, which is kind of why I came to this sub. If she was generally an a-hole, I would have known how to act, if you know what I mean? Anyway Lana has a bit of a breakdown, and it turns out POS Tom has always been a bit of a POS, very jealous (which I always saw hints of, but Lana never mentioned so I didn't), and has amped up his POSishness while I've been away. When I left he just finished school and basically moved in unannounced, and when she'd mention he hasn't been home in days, he'd give her the "what, don't you love me, I treat you so well, you're so selfish, blah blah" stuff and refused to move. She showed me the texts he send her, absolutely horrific stuff, things like "ring me in the next five minutes or we're over; send me a picture of you at your desk with something showing today's date so I know you're at work", just abusive stuff.
ON TO THE ROOM: As we guessed, he moved it. He did it while she was at work, which is actually a bit gross thinking of him going through my stuff, and I'm considering somehow implying I have crabs or something he could catch just to make him squirm a bit, but I'll work on it. Lana came home and said what are you doing, he made out it was just temporary and that I wouldn't mind (such a gentleman speaking on my behalf) and he would move it back, and he was doing ti for her and she was so selfish etc. When it got a few days before I came back, Lana suggested moving it back, and he completely denied he said that and told her it was her idea to move it and he only did what she told him but it's staying now or she'd be sorry.
So basically Tom is a prick and Lana sobbed and apologized and cried and I fed her wine. She didn't want to see Tom (who obviously assumed he lived there now) so I text him from her phone saying our Landlady (my aunt) was coming round for an inspection and staying for dinner after with my family and he couldn't come over tonight. He sent a lot of begging, whiney texts, and then went on the offensive and called Lana a liar, so I rang my aunt, explained everything and had her write us a fake landlord email mentioning the visit and how she was looking forward to fajitas (because she's an absolute babe and I make good packet fajitas), which we forwarded on to Tom. He left her alone for the rest of the night, apart from a few texts.
I'm not entirely sure what we do about Tom. Lana sounds like she wants to break up, judging from her crying and screaming "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him" into her wine. I think she's scared to though. I checked with her and he doesn't have a key, so that's a relief. I've told my aunt everything and she said she is happy to ban him from the flat, but Lana would need to break up with him first and get all that sorted. God knows what will happen. Thoughts?"
Boyfriend Woes
The daft room-moving antics may actually have been her boyfriend's idea. Him just having to make a point about you both paying the same rent - it's probably not the first time he's said that. I'd bear that in mind when talking to Lana - if she starts using a lot of "we's" instead of "I's," you can at minimum remind her you live with her, not her and her boyfriend, and you want decisions made in the flat that work for you and her, not her and her fella (diplomatically, of course).
Call Dr. Phil!
GiphyMove your stuff back. This isn't even a discussion - you found the place, you made it clear the smaller was her room. Put a lock on the door and say this isn't a discussion.
It sucks she screwed herself over, but that's her problem, not yours.
Hmmmmm?
I've never had room mates so I don't know how these situations end up changing the dynamics.
But after a conflict like this.. how can you even maintain a roommate relationship with someone? Wouldn't it be awkward?
GiphyWho does this? You're much more calm about it than I would be. I would have screamed at her to get her stuff out if my room the second I saw it. When you talk with her have her repeat what you said she could do with the room when you left. Then remind her that at no point did you say she could move into your room. It's not often I request this, but for the love of everything please keep us updated. I'm deadly curious to hear what she has to say for herself.
No words!
Op I cannot stress how bad of an idea it is to talk to her about it first. There's no convincing her of anything, just do it. Your opening yourself up for repatriation if you relent by staying in the small room while trying to reason with her. What if she puts a lock on it before you? Or trashes the room? You need to seriously just do it while she's gone now, not later.
Follow her lead...
Just move it back yourself while she's out. Her boyfriend gets exactly no say. She agreed to live in the smaller room for the same rent. You are rightfully pissed.
That is other level crap!
GiphyHoly crap, this is a new different level of abusive POS.
OP, I recommend you call the cops and ask them what you should do regarding Tom given his behaviour is such that he might just turn up and demand entry or force his way in.
Also with regards to Lana, (1) suggest she go visit a therapist to talk through what happened (she needs it I think, she's been in an abusive relationship), (2) tell her to send Tom a message saying they're over, and that she's blocking him on everything (and then block him on everything and/or get a new number) and that if he comes near her, she's going to the cops (and then if he does, go to the cops).
Also get your aunt to officially say that he's not allowed in the apartment - that way if the police can't do anything before hand, you be able to at least try to get him on trespassing charges when he (eventually, given his boundary stomping behavior) turns up at the apartment.
Three things
Three seperate points here:
1) They shouldnt have touched your stuff or moved rooms. Reverse that while they are at work, just do it right now. Also get a lock.
2) An even rent split with uneven rooms isnt fair, even if she has no room to complain because she knew that going in. If you want good relations going forward (and to be the bigger person), perhaps decide what is a fair rent split and propose this to her when she gets back.
3) Boyfriend isn't supposed to live here and isn't paying anything. Does he now? Time to nip that crap in the bud.
GiphyI had a roommate secretly move her boyfriend into our house, then 6 months after the fact, send us all an email basically saying "so... [bf] is living with us... that's cool, right?"
Meanwhile, a couple of years later, when my boyfriend was in an awkward living situation (there was a death involved) and was staying with us a lot more often, which I was very upfront with them about and asked if it was okay with beforehand, I ended up getting so much stuff about it. I got confronted (after coming home from a night out with friends, so I was drunk. Yay, thanks) about him "living with us." I wanted to hit aforementioned roommate.
I've since moved.
2 can play this game!
She's established that it is okay to move things around when the other roommate is not present. Follow her rule. Then inform her that it is no longer a rule. Get a lock on your door.
Your remaining time together as roommates won't be pleasant. Understand your legal options.
That was extremely invasive and inappropriate of her. Move your stuff back and her stuff out.
Then talk to her:
- Remind her that she moved in under the understanding that she had the smaller room.
- Tell her that if she had a problem with the rooms, she should have spoken to you first, not just moved in. Talking is what adults do.
- Suggest she consider how she would have felt coming home after a long trip to find all her belongings have been moved.
- Remind her that while you have the larger room, she has a boyfriend who takes up space too. Couples often pay more rent than singles.
- Explain that you understand housemates need to communicate and negotiate, and tell her you're happy to do this, but it needs to be honest and upfront, not all cloak and daggers and wait till she's gone....
Of course, the reason this is an issue is because you know you're getting the better end of this deal. Are you happy to discuss this? Would you pay a slightly larger share of the rent? You say that you "naturally" took the bigger room, but that's not necessarily the default position. I pay more rent than my flatmate because I have a slightly better room (same size, but I have a better view), and because I store some of my stuff in my flatmates room. (Like you, I found the place.) So I'd be prepared to consider what is fair as well.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!
GiphyThis is simple. You don't need to have a discussion with her. While she's at work, move your stuff back to your room, take her off season clothes out of your closet, and install a lock. If she had an issue about the price she's paying or the size of her room, she should've negotiated that during the contract signing. Also, do not allow a third party (her boyfriend) who does not live there, dictate or comment about anything to do with that apartment. To be honest, your roommate sounds like a shitty person and opportunist under that niceness...anyone who would move all of someone's stuff out of their room is not nice.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I think you can insist that her boyfriend not be around when you two discuss what happened. He's not on the lease, he has no say, period. In fact why not be proactive and message her? That you two would be having a talk about the rooming issue today after she finishes work, and that it would just be a discussion between the two of you.
Don't give in to her on this. She knew what she signed up for, and she basically took advantage of you. And after she moves back to her old room, consider locking up your room all the time whenever you're not around. She has more than certainly lost the privilege of going into your room in your absence.
Stand your ground!
GiphyIt seems unlikely that you two will be coming to an amicable solution to this. She just decided to move your stuff because she wanted to and it's unlikely that she's going to back off now.
Is her name on the lease, since you paid the deposit and all that? Did she pay you back for what you paid in the deposit?
I would suggest that you just try to talk to her, without her boyfriend present so they can't gang up on you, and explain to her that since you found the apartment and kept it off the market while searching for a roommate that the larger bedroom is yours. She agreed to the initial rent price when she moved in, knowing full well which bedroom would be hers. It doesn't matter if it's fair, it's what she agreed to do and she did not voice any concerns up front. If she wanted to renegotiate the terms of the deal she should have done that when she first moved in, rather than wait for you to leave and take matters into her own hands.
If her name isn't on the lease you can probably evict her yourself since she would be subletting from you. If she is on the leash it's probably unlikely that you'll be able to do much about it. I would go talk to your landlord immediately and inform him that since you reserved the apartment first, you intend to keep it at the end of the lease and your roommate will not be signing back on. You might be able to get "dibs" on keeping the place when your lease it up and essentially force her out at that time.
Document everything!
Take pictures of everything in each room (before and after, that way there are no accusations about you stealing anything), and move your things back while she is gone. I would not suggest this normally, but since this is exactly what she did to you I would feel comfortable reciprocating.
Reiterate to her when she comes home that you said she could have a friend or relative stay in your bed if they were over while you were away- NOT that she and her boyfriend could completely move into your room and commandeer it. If she argues, remind her that when she accepted the lease it was on the terms that the smaller room would be hers (and she should have brought up any issues or concerns about that at that point). Tell her that you have retracted the offer to let her keep her things in your wardrobe (there's no way I would continue allowing this after what she did), as you will be installing a lock on your door due to her inappropriate actions.
If you WAIT to move these things (and install a lock), you are opening yourself up to this situation becoming the norm. It will be a lot more difficult to get her to move her things when she is there versus you just doing it (like she did YOURS) when she's gone.
No room for trust!
I know she says he doesn't have a key, but that's not a chance you should take. You need to change your flat lock immediately. Neither of you have any idea if he "borrowed" it and made a copy. I don't want to be alarmist, but this guy sounds possibly dangerous.
No Permission Necessary!
GiphyI don't know why you're trying to be amicable and fair with her when she didn't give you the same - what a massive invasion of privacy. She literally touched all your personal stuff with NO PERMISSION in order to do this, I would be so disturbed. Call a big strong friend over as back up, text your roommate that you are moving stuff back (you don't even owe her a heads up but that's about as nice as you need to be), and get going.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.