I think, fundamentally, there are two types of people.
Some folks are perfectly satisfied to have their romantic partner as their only social outlet. They don't need other friends, they don't need hobbies, they don't need alone time, they're perfectly content to live with the "us against the world" mindset.
Other people need to maintain a social life outside of their partner. They need to continue those friendships, outlets, and time to themselves to recharge. To those people, the idea of being someone's whole world isn't a heart-warming one; it's a high-pressure suffocating situation.
I'm not here to say one type is right or wrong, but relationships can get pretty complicated when one partner is one way, the other is the opposite. Communication is key, but this can be a really hurtful topic of conversation that's difficult to navigate when one partner just doesn't get the others needs or why they would even have them.
One Reddit user is sitting squarely in the middle of this problem. She adores her partner, but he never gives her any breathing room and tries to make her feel guilty when she takes some time to herself. He even texts her constantly while she's at work and gets hurt when she can't respond right away. In an effort to get some time to herself, she called in sick to work so she could just be home alone. She realized she's hit her breaking point and reached out for some advice.
I called in sick to work today so I could have some time alone from my partner. My partner is always around. Some people will say I'm lucky that he wants to be around me all of the time, but it's feeling so smothering.
We've been together for 10 years. He has no friends he hangs out with, and the only time he'll do his hobby (fishing) is when I'm busy doing something else. If I suggest he should go fishing, he asks why I'm trying to get rid of him. If I want to hang out with my friend (which we only do once a week), instead of saying "that sounds fun, I hope you have a good time!" he'll say "well what am I going to do? You've been at work all day, I haven't seen you, I'm going to miss you". He makes me feel guilty for leaving him alone.
I'm just feeling overwhelmed. How do you tell your partner of 10 years that he's smothering me and I need guilt-free alone time? I have told him before, but he gets a little mopey and wonders why I need "me time". It's just not really a concept he understands, and it's hard to explain.
It hasn't always been like this, but we've moved cities a few times and his friend pool has dwindled down to nothing, and he doesn't know how to make new friends. His co-dependence has just been getting worse and worse and I'm just starting to hit the end of my mental strings.
Here are some of the responses she got. Some have been edited for clarity. What advice would you have given?
Let Him Mope
One secret to getting people to accept something you want and they don't is that you need to be able to handle the moping. Just let him mope. Don't cave in. Keep repeating the message on different occasions. Go hang out with your friend. Go out for a walk. (You probably can't force him out of the house, so for now you need to leave to get some alone time.) After a while it'll sink in that moping doesn't accomplish anything.
It's like when I was little and would whine to my mother that I was bored. Her response: "I see." Of course I thought that was massively irritating as a kid, but I did learn how to entertain myself. :-)
Now this isn't to say that you can't help your partner, too. Maybe you two could go check out a hobby together, so it's not so scary for him the first time? Just do this on a separate occasion, NOT when you were just planning to go out alone.
- bssndcky
Co-Dependent Shut-In
The things you want for yourself (time to yourself, a life, friends, hobbies, work being a time you aren't available to just socialize) these are all super reasonable things. But since your SO is pouty and difficult about it you feel like you need to compromise or give up these completely reasonable healthy things.
You need to be able to just accept that it is okay for you to do these things and if your SO can't see that, it is on him. He is the one making himself miserable here. It isn't your job to be a co-dependent shut-in who has no friends or hobbies and texts with him all day when you should be working to spare his feelings. Instead, you should live a normal adult life and it's his job to learn how to handle that.
Stop feeling bad or guilty or like you need to comprise on having a normal life. Don't feed into his pity party or moping or annoyance. It works a lot less well to be a pouty moper if no one pays any attention to that. Whether it's an intentional manipulation or just a more unconscious learned behavior, you've taught your boyfriend that if he is pouty, mopey, annoyed, etc that you make his feelings into your problem and you compromise yourself and give him the attention he is seeking.
Suggest Some Self Reflection
He needs to do some self-reflection. I did a lot of introspecting this year and I reached a few conclusions. I've always been really clingy and had a great need for attention.
I was neglected most of my life and praised for not being a troublemaker. So I never made trouble or went looking for the attention I needed from my mom. Worth noting is the few times I did act out, I would get beat down and it would enforce the idea that I was the problem and I would double down on just raising myself
And I realized that emotionally I never grew past being a toddler. I had this realization when I hit a lot of growth this year, I was joking about finally entering my teenaged rebellion in my mid/late twenties when suddenly I realized it was basically exactly what was happening.
I've grown a lot and I'm getting better at being self sufficient, but it's a long road and I'll always be behind the curve, I think. I'm alright with that, and my husband is alright with that. We have a good dynamic. He understands that I need attention and I understand that I need it, so if I feel like I'm not getting enough of it I can channel and process those feelings and work through them. Over time I condition myself to be more independent.
Just a few thoughts.
- valicat
Desktops And Cell Phones
I once read this analogy in this sub: extroverts are like desktop computers, they're always available to interact with other people, their source of energy for interaction never runs out. Introverts are like cell phones, they're happy to interact, but eventually their battery runs out and they need a brief period to recharge before they're ready again.
Perhaps you can use it to try to explain to your SO that it's not that you don't enjoy your time with him, it's just that's the way you're wired and it's a personality trait you cannot change by sheer will (not that you'd have to even if you could.)
He Gets It, He Would Just Rather...
It's not that he doesn't understand. Honestly, he doesn't have to feel the same way to understand. He gets it. He would just rather service his own discomfort over yours. He puts his want ahead of your need. Not cool.
It's not your job to stop him from moping. Set the expectation. I love you, I need alone time because I like it. Not because I dislike you. Millions of people have this same need. You have to respect it in order to respect me.
Schedule the times. Don't give in to guilt. He understands. He just prefers to guilt you instead of managing this alone. And he needs to.
"Listen Babe..."
I would essentially say,
"Listen babe. You know I love you, and I love spending time with you. I don't know if you understand, but I would really love it if you could respect my wishes for when I would like some alone time. Sometimes, after working all day, i just need some time doing my own thing and being my own person. It doesn't mean I love you any less, it just means that sometimes I need to recharge my batteries. I really think this is important because without this individual time to recharge, I get really worn down a lot quicker; which means when you and I DO spend time together I will be a lot less attentive... and neither of us want that! I can't pour from an empty cup babe! I need this time alone to recharge and refill. I would appreciate it so much if you could try to understand and if you could respect my wishes when it comes to this. I think it may even make us a stronger unit if we both strengthen ourselves individually so we can be extra strong when we are together."
I had a really hard time with this too. I had no friends, was alone all day... it was hard because I felt really deprived of human interaction and I would get said and feel left out when my BF would get home from work and almost immediately go to do something with friends or go fishing or something. It hurt my feelings because I was like, "does he not care that I literally don't see anyone all day? He's my only interaction with people I get all day and he just leaves me alone?"
Then he sat me down and had that same talk with me basically. What really made it click for me was when he told me it's really important to him that we both can be our own person without the other one there. He told me that he would think it was really cool if I picked up a hobby and devoted a lot of time to it or something like that. and he also said that he believed it would really strengthen our bond (distance makes the heart grow fonder) and make the time we do spend together even more special and that really made it click for me :)
Used To Be The Clingy Partner
I used to be the clingy partner towards the beginning of my relationship with my husband. For me, it came from an extremely low self esteem. I needed him around to feel whole. I didn't engage in hobbies or friendships because I didn't bother ever starting it because I was lazy and subconsciously didn't think I was worth it. The reason I say all of this is because about 3 years ago I became interested in self help, yoga, meditation and affirmations. All of which slowly helped me gain my self esteem. I'm almost a different person now--I actually thoroughly enjoy my own company. We spend a lot of time apart doing our own things and I love it. And when we we're together again we enjoy each other's company more than we ever have. Just my experience.
- owslem1
Introverts Need To Recharge
Sounds like you might both be introverts. I could be wrong, but I'm writing this as an introvert myself. I need time to energize after social interactions. After I get home from work for instance I usually just want to be left alone. I don't have to do that, but after a day or two of constant socializing I just shut down and retreat.. So I get ahead of that and give myself plenty of alone time throughout the week.
It sounds like your partner is recharging while you're gone and does not run into the same problem you do, as you have no time to recharge and be by yourself. If you're really an introvert (and maybe even if you aren't?) such alone recharging time is vital! If I didn't get mine, I'd be so cranky all the time.. I feel so much better after getting that regular alone time.
Talk to him about this! Tell him you need your alone time too! He gets his, and you need yours! Your partner needs friends and hobbies, his lifestyle doesn't sound very healthy, and it's draining your social energy away.
- warpus
Dude Is Lonely
I sifted through the comments looking for the reason why this was happening- the trigger- and factoring in all the moving, this totally makes sense. If this is not the person they were 10 or even 3 years ago then in my mind this is just a bump in the road and not an unchangeable personality flaw or mismatch between you both.
Dude is lonely. Plain and simple. And he's not lonely from your relationship, he's lonely from lack of meaningful platonic intimacy with friends and he's projecting that onto you. He's trying to fill a different need with the substance of your relationship so inevitably that well runs dry. If he struggles with expressing his emotions he may be aware and be embarrassed to say so, or he may not be aware at all.
When my husband had some frustrations around loneliness and lack of friendships when we moved to a new state I tried to address the need for an outlet that wasn't me. So I invited a couple female and male coworkers out to a movie with me and my husband so he can meet new people, I started hanging out with a girl who I thought was great and suspected her boyfriend and my husband would hit it off and scheduled a couples date, and I helped him find a new job (at a young startup!) because he was surrounded by much older, boring colleagues who he couldn't connect with. I also made plans for him to fly back home to see his best friend and family, and I planned a surprise trip for a friend of his to come stay with us for a week.
It sounds like a lot of work and it might be a little overwhelming to essentially plan friend dates for your partner but if he feels lost and lonely and admittedly making friends later in life IS harder, then for his mental wellness and definitely your own, it may take a little magic on your part to nudge him in the right direction.
If after trying some things to get him going on being his own person, and having a conversation with him about your needs there's still no change then I would really consider couples cognitive behavioral therapy because woooo is that a life saver. I say that because if he can't find his own way I think you will continue to grow frustrated and resent him, and he will continue to feel lonely and on top of that, rejected by the one person he does have, which will make him withdraw. As you both pull away from each other over time that creates distance that is really difficult to rebuild.
Best of luck to you both! I hope your heart gets the space it needs to grow for itself and grow fonder for him, and his gets the friendship it needs to grow independent.
"...Like A Bear Trap..."
Nothing makes my vagina clamp shut like a bear trap faster than neediness. If he sulks and pouts every time you close the bathroom door without inviting him in, this might be a fundamental incompatibility issue. I honestly don't know how you've lived through 10 years of this, but it sounds like you're hitting your limit and now it's literally affecting your work, so it's time to deal with it directly.
I suggest that you sit down with him, not at a time when you've butted heads over this issue, but when you're both calm and rational, and talk about it. Tell him what you need, and how it makes you feel when he lays guilt on your shoulders. When he says "why don't you want to be with me", tell him point blank that you're worried about him, that this level of co-dependence is not healthy, and that it's damaging your relationship and you need to do something about it before it's too late. If he's not willing to listen to you or consider your feelings as well as his own, then you've got a real problem here.
H/T: Reddit
As a "high achieving" student, the biggest mind-blowing fact I have ever learned has been the sheer amount of straight-up lying that happens in formal education.
It's a lot. Like a lot a lot. History class lied so hard.
Oxford
<p>Oxford University was founded in 1096 and is several hundred years older than Machu Picchu.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx8tm8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GParkerG93</a></p><p>Oxford was founded 300 years before the Aztec empire</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxxhmy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AnduBandu</a></p><p>Wai..wah wai wai wiai, WHAT?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxif90?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CosmicSnowball14</a></p>On Trial
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTc2Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzU1ODI5M30.4pq1QJyuoP_wmlhACwoWdU54nobqlAzCrs2CaxXZ_BQ/img.gif?width=980" id="ed537" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a40beaebe19748acb8a2266ddd95141d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="375" />pet sleeping GIFGiphy<p>In the Middle Ages, European countries would put on real trials for animals. They were legitimate, with real defense attorneys. </p><p>A sow and her piglets were put on trial for killing a five-year-old kid. The sow was found guilty and put to death, but her piglets were acquitted because there was no evidence they took part.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx1wyz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">natsugreyzera</a></p><p>They did this in Tennessee in the 1900's where an elephant was tried and hanged for murder.<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_(elephant)" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"></a></p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy3tyr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheoryPlane</a></p>Sharks
<p>Sharks have existed 100 million years before the first trees. </p><p>Sharks first showed up on the scene 350 million years ago and 250 million years ago. Also, sharks have survived 4 of the 5 mass extinctions. They didn't exist for the first one. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx1fss?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Stayathomedadof6</a></p>Room To Spare
<p>All the planets in our solar system can fit between the Earth and the Moon, with a little room to spare.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx85ye?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Imajica0921</a></p><p>Whaaaa? Oddly this one hurts my brain the most.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx9wk2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dmbf</a></p><p>There's a lot of space in space.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjzntot?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madgietoyousir</a></p>Clean BonesÂ
<p>That when you brush your teeth you're actually cleaning your skeleton</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjwzxbe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">maidenHELL6669</a></p><p>Gotta keep your bone mech clean. That flesh armor only guards so much.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxoun4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Shumatsuu</a></p><p>Gross, thanks! </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxm8of?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ppity_pangolin</a></p>Light Horizon
<p>There is a light horizon in the universe, and we will never know what's beyond it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjx2y18?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Money_Display_5389</a></p><p>The funny thing, (or maybe just terrifying thing), is that at some point in the far future, the light horizon will actually get smaller over time. </p><p>This is because the universe is expanding faster then light can travel, and so that light will never make it to us no matter how much time passes, and this phenomenon will only become more relevant.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjynpnr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZanyThings</a></p>The Beatles
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTc3MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxODQ5ODcxOX0.1DyC3fQGrmURKaz809wvgafTj26Hak_-WKDyc4B9UoI/img.gif?width=980" id="8d6fe" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="3419f853fad72027fcdecbaf7bb2eaa2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="337" />the beatles GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy<p>The Beatles were only together for 7 years. Well, technically for 8 but they released all of their albums in a seven year stretch, releasing two albums a year for many of those years.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxbtav?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VikingWithGuns</a><span></span></p><p>Even crazier- when they broke up, Paul McCartney was 28.</p><p>Think about it- all that genius, the music, the success, the greatest band ever to exist- and he wasn't even 30.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy8t5z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">YourlocalTitanicGuy</a></p>They Have To Die For My Survival
<p>Diseases are caused by micro organisms. </p><p>Organisms. Germs are organisms. </p><p>It totally blew my mind that the thing screwing my internal organs was a group of sentient living beings that have to die for my survival.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxbgc7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrimsonMarksman</a></p>Ice Age
<p>Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iphone than the completion of the Great Pyramid</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxly7q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jfaissalesmfe5</a></p><p>Woolly Mammoths still walked the earth when the Great Pyramid was being built.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjy9st1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Volkspanzerisme</a></p><p>So by correlation, Cleopatra lived closer to the release of the movie Ice Age, than the actual ice age.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjzdvjl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BurritoBandito5</a></p>Flaunt It
<p>Jumping spiders have basically the same vision we do, they can see us and know when we're looking at them and like to show off!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxibgj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kikaf32645</a></p><p>Ugh I hate those spiders. We had one in the house once and it kept waving its arms around.'</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjz6duj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Cyannotsus</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjz6duj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Jumping spiders are the only kind of spider, that I as an arachnophobe like.</p><p>They're fluffy, cute and this fact cements that.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l12ncg/whats_a_fact_that_absolutely_blew_your_mind/gjxnj47?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HelluhTrill420</a></p>People Describe The Worst Thing A 'Good Guy' Has Ever Done In A Children's Movie Or Show
We go hard on A Goofy Movie around here. Tevin Campbell as Powerline is the real King of Pop 'round these parts. The perfect cast is standard choreography
I needed to tell you all that so you understood it is not an attack on the movie when I say Max sucked.
Peter Pan
<p>Tink in Peter Pan is an absolute monster. She tried to get the Lost Boys to murder Wendy. The whole film is full of abhorrent morality.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnjmez?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Enochuout</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnjmez?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>To be fair, this is an older fairy story; and while still in the modern age was far back enough that they hadnt fully sanitized the stories into cutesy BS. There is still danger and risk and sinister things lurking in the edges of the world and the hearts of some characters.</p><p>Tink is a <em>fairy</em>, she is fey and so is her morality. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjodddt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Considered_Dissent</a></p>Kids In Cages
<p>Lab Rats. The dad/inventor kept the kids in CAGES and it wasn't until he married and got a stepson that they got rescued. Then everyone was all, "oh well, good times!"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn38dv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WeaverOfCloth</a></p><p>yeah, and don't forget that the main characters constantly physically harass their nonsuperpowered foster brother, even after he gets superpowers, otherwise, pretty good show.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnqrx1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bigbrainedidiot777</a></p>Walled Up Alive
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTM3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MjUyMTc0OH0.9hvoLCUVK3SCP18ptT2oK3vcJK2_Y6XGEc6wWLt4emU/img.gif?width=980" id="3c674" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5097f2e2bd3d49134224904891f6d8c7" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240" />thomas GIFGiphy<p>The Fat Controller in Thomas the Tank Engine bricking up Henry the green train.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmusxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jennyrob669</a></p><p>All Henry wanted was a coat of waterproof paint or a break from work till the rain stopped.</p><p>Nope, brick up the tunnel and take up the tracks. '</p><p>F*ck you engine, you work for me!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjna9zl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FatNino</a></p><p>Came here for this! Lol. The look on his (it's?) poor face. Gets me every time. </p><p>Nooooo don't brick me in for eternity, I only wanted to keep my paint shiny!!!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnfzns?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hidefromthe_sun</a></p>Brain Damage Makes You Perfect
<p>Here's my entry to help get conversation going:</p><p>In the 2005 Disney movie <em>Chicken Little</em>, the school bully, Foxy Loxy, gets teleported by aliens and suffers brain damage resulting in a massive personality change. </p><p>When the aliens move to return her to normal, Runt Of The Litter stops them, saying she was now "perfect". It's then implied the two become romantically involved.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjlnacn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HooDooSquad</a></p><p>It was less of a "massive personality change" and more "massive brain damage".</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnv9hd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Satyrane</a></p><p>Yeah. That was super creepy. He was basically attracted to her because she got an accidental lobotomy. That's some pretty predatory behavior if you ask me</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjnv3h8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">anoncoolguy69</a></p>Wizard Woes
<p>In Wizards of Waverly Place the whole concept of the Family Wizard Competition is super f*cked up and immoral. </p><p>Basically when all the children of a family come of age they compete to see who's the best wizard, and the ones who lose are stripped of their powers. Imagine if we have our kids take a vision test and blinded the ones who fail.</p><p>Anyways there was a recurring character who was friends with the main cast who was later revealed to be leading a revolution to overthrow this system. The entire main cast labels her as evil, puts a stop to her plan, and then literally murders her at the end.</p><p>More specifically what happened was that they froze her solid to hold her in place while they transferred her powers. Then the village idiot came and knocked her over by accident, shattering her into pieces. They then proceeded to make jokes about her corpse.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmwqxj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">StandUpGaming</a><br></p>Gentrifying Lazytown
<p>Sportacus and Stephanie treating Robbie Rotten badly all because he didn't want to be active. </p><p>Let him live in Lazytown in peace!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmygjh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chuckbookworm</a></p><p>Those two came to a place literally called <em>Lazytown</em> and tried to force everyone to be more active and stuff. If anything, Robbie Rotten should've been the hero for trying to maintain how the town should be</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn6yrd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Truly_Meaningless</a></p><p>Sportacus and Stephanie wanted to establish a 'work will set you free' regime in Lazytown.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjp40ao?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Prof_Black</a></p>Threat To Society
<p>In the 4th season of Winx Club, the main characters get a new power up, the Believix, and it is a mess. They each get a new power to use at their own discretion. Here is a quick description of what these powers let them do:</p><ul><li>Strength of Life (Bloom): It lets her make people believe in magic and help them overcome their weaknesses. She decides what qualifies as a weakness. She overrides a person's free will to make them believe in magic, which just so happens to make the girls stronger, and rewrite their personality if she doesn't like it.</li><li>Dawn of Light (Stella): It lets her make people more cooperative and accepting. Basically, she overrides another person's free will so they do what she says.</li><li>Breath of the World (Flora): It lets her make people show more appreciation for nature. Nice on paper, but it basically makes people ignore potentially more important tasks, or forego certain technologies, in favor of nature.</li></ul>Mrs. Doubtfire
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUxMTM2OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MzgwNDAzMX0.Dq-VeFDrmpnazICzv1lX8uVKYZ-HQ6TbkWbH0h6NvsU/img.gif?width=980" id="8c908" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="45956993e65b85129871ecd0409e14f8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="245" data-height="220" />robin williams today GIFGiphy<p>As a kid, you side with Robin Williams. Rewatching it as an adult, the guy was seriously dysfunctional and his wife was absolutely right to divorce him.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmyr3r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChemicalGeekery</a></p><p>He was pretty dysfunctional and didn't provide a great environment for the children until he pretended to be somebody else. He was only a good parent when he pretended to be somebody else. </p><p>It's also super super creepy that he disguised himself to get back into his ex-wife's house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjngje2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rows_</a></p>Santa Sucks
<p>I apologize if this has already been covered, but Santa Claus is a total a$$hole in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...</p><p>I can understand the young Reindeer making fun of Rudolph's red nose. Kids are mean and will easily make fun of someone for being different.</p><p>But then Santa walks in... He could have set everyone straight right there. Explained how its our differences that make everyone special and all of that.</p><p>No. </p><p>He readily agrees with everyone that Rudolph is a lost cause and even tells Donner he should be ashamed of his Son's red nose.</p><p>Da f*ck!?</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjmu7j4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ScotchyT</a></p><p>Until he needs him, then all of a sudden he's part of the group and useful and liked. That's some "fit in or go f*cking die" mess if I ever saw it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kz8apq/whats_the_worst_thing_a_good_guy_ever_did_in_a/gjn5vhw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">therealtidbits</a></p>Board games are designed carefully by teams of experts. Countless brainstorm sessions are carried out, designs and prototypes are proposed and changed, and plenty of focus groups are consulted along the way.
Start On a High NoteÂ
<p>"In Scrabble, the person who can make the longest word goes first, highest points breaks a tie. This makes the game more fun by ensuring there are lots of places to play your letters." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtfphl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mimlitsch</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I thought this was a legit rule lol my family does this too." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtq75g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakSmoke2019</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's an amazing rule! Also it would be ideal if they started the word slightly to the left so ensure a more balanced board." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtov6t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">z0rb0r</a></p>The Long GameÂ
<p>"My father in law keeps note of who has wronged him with a series of annotations beside the score when we play cards" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtqg0e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">8765432109</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Plot twist: it's not to get revenge in-game, it's to give him the longest list at the annual Festivus Airing of the Grievances." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjuidz0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">YVRJon</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's amazingly petty and I absolutely love it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjv4xlt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DKlurifax</a></p>Corrupt CapitalismÂ
<p>"In monopoly we have a rule that my sister cant be the banker otherwise its like watching Oceans 11" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtpe9o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">graeuk</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Hubby is not allowed to even SIT near the banker, and no one stores any money anywhere near him. If HE suggests we play, we scour the area for hidden money before he sits down." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjuc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RunnerMomLady</a></p>Piping Down
<p>"In every co-op game (Pandemic, Castle Panic, whatever), there is usually someone who tries to tell everyone what to do. I can accidentally be this person."</p><p>"So, I implemented the 'right hand man' rule. IF the person whose turn it is want advice (IF), they can only get it from the person on their right. Nobody else can say anything."</p><p>"Makes things way more enjoyable."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtp4ep?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThrowAwayTheTeaBag</a></p>Unstoppable BobÂ
<p>"Trouble is a fun little game. Unfortunately, with the wife and son, we only have three players. Four players makes it even more fun, so we have a fourth player we call 'Bob.'"</p><p>"Bob gets the last turn in the cycle. Someone rolls for Bob, and then the three of us agree on what Bob's best move is."</p><p>"It's especially fun when you have to agree that Bob's best move is to take out one of your own pieces."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtoifo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LockjawTheOgre</a></p>Spicing Things UpÂ
<p>"'The Mugging Rule' in Monopoly."</p><p>"If I land on a space that you are currently occupying, I can choose to mug you. We take turns rolling the dice, if I roll higher, I steal $100, if you roll higher I go to jail."</p><p>--<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtld17?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">garysredditaccount</a></p>The Seat of WisdomÂ
<p>"In Trivial Pursuit, we have a rule - if the player being asked doesn't know the answer, they can ask the room. The room doesn't actually answer, but they say whether they know the answer or not."</p><p>"If nobody knows the answer, it's considered an invalid question, and another card gets drawn instead. (if someone in the room does know, but the player being asked doesn't, then it's just a plain old 'pass')"</p><p>"My Dad knows a lot of stuff ... I mean, a LOT. When he was a kid he read the Encyclopaedia Britannica for fun. Basically, the rule was born from, 'If even Dad doesn't know the answer, then nobody does and it's a terrible question.'"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtfsx0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">xenchik</a></p>Because Why the Hell NotÂ
<p>"At the end of scrabble you make up a story with all the words on the board. We never looked at the tiles for scores, we just played to get the best words on the board." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtl8bt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blupidibla</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"We did something similar with Cards Against Humanity. Pick up a card, start the story, go around the table. Got some really weird stories." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjts286?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Snorks43</a></p>Updated to the Modern EraÂ
<p>"Nukes in Risk"</p><p>"If you roll three sixes when attacking you defeat every army on the territory you're attacking into. If you roll three ones, you nuke yourself and lose every army in the territory you're attacking from"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtaz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Len-K</a></p>A Confidence ExerciseÂ
<p>"If you say sorry while playing Uno, you pick up 2 cards! Slap that +4 down with authority!"</p><p>"Also, if you have exactly the same card as the one that has just been played, you can jump in and play your duplicate regardless of if it's your turn or not"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0f4k2/what_is_an_extra_rule_your_family_added_to_a/gjtla61?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jb28737</a></p>People Explain Which Things Are Actually Cheap To Make But Sell At A Ridiculous Price
Businesses have to turn a profit to be able to stay operational. We get it. A consumer is paying more than it costs to make the product to purchase the product. The upside of accepting this fact should be we're being provided a service and experience we couldn't possibly get on our own. However, there are those products that are overcharged, especially compared to the development costs, that are charged a high price for what feels like no reason outside of making a ridiculous amount of money.