A woman who had sustained a serious flesh wound to her face was made to feel even more vulnerable after being told she was frightening a child.
Her dermatologist advised her not to cover her face at this particular stage in her healing process.
Unfortunately, following doctor's orders resulted in an altercation that left her feeling like a monster.
Redditor "f*ckeduppface" asked the "Am I the A$$hole" (AITA) subreddit community if she was out of line for confronting the father who told her to cover up her face since it was scaring his 4-year-old son.
The close confrontation took place while the original poster (OP) was on a flight home to visit her family.
"I sustained very bad injuries to my face this month. I'm in the stage of healing when the scar tissue has formed, but it's still very tender 'new skin.' I'm going to have very obvious facial scarring for the rest of my life."
"The injury starts about an inch above my hairline, goes down over my brow so that on part, hair will not grow. It continues down my cheek where it is deepest; I'll always probably have an indentation in the fullest part of my cheek. Then it continues to my jawline."
"In some ways it's OK. I'm happy it's just cosmetic damage. My friends are super reassuring, telling me how badass and sick it's gonna look. They say I'm still as hot as ever, now a little more sexy and mysterious lol."
"But in some ways it really sucks...I know that I'm always gonna be seen first as 'the girl with the scar' and it feels especially bad when people look at me differently."
Accepting her new reality, she tried to keep her head up and face the world with upcoming travel plans.
"This week, I had to fly home for a family thing; it was a plan I'd made long before my injury. I wasn't really looking forward to the pity or people making a big deal of it; I'd rather it not be acknowledged."
"I'd also met with my dermatologist who said that I was at the stage of scar tissue formation that I no longer should be dressing the wounds; the skin was healing and instead I needed to be applying topical cream and Vaseline to keep the site clean and moist."
"It also looks a bit ugly; the building scar tissue is very red and tender, and with the Vaseline over it, looks slick and shiny."
"So I get on this flight; I have the window seat and I put on my headphones and drift off to sleep when the plane is still boarding."
She woke up only to realize the nightmare about to take place was not a dream.
"I wake up to this kid, maybe 4 years old, sat next to me, throwing a tantrum. I didn't catch the first part of it and I honestly couldn't understand what he was yelling about..."
"His father said to me, 'Can you cover that injury?'"
"I said that my dermatologist recommends I don't, so no I don't think I will."
The OP's response sent the father aggressively into protective mode.
"He started snapping at me saying 'there is no need to be so rude. That injury is graphic and it's scaring my little one.'"
"I said 'this is my face. The only d*mn face I've got. It sucks being told I'm so ugly I can't show my godd*mn face in public.'"
She could not stay silent after being stigmatized.
"He started to backtrack saying 'just until it's healed' and I said 'it'll always be with me. Maybe teach some f*cking compassion and respect instead of telling a girl half your d*mn age what you think about her face. That's rude."
"He actually got up after that and I think went to a stewardess about a seat change because a young couple came to sit next to me in a few minutes instead."
After the situation was taken care of, deep regret set in.
"I've gotta admit I felt so low that I put on my sunglasses and had a quiet cry for a few minutes."
"AITA for not covering my healing scar, and for being confrontational about it?"
The responses were all overwhelmingly positive for the OP, with many of the comments reflecting she is NTA (not the a$$hole).
"Dear god no you're absolutely NTA. People that are that heartless shouldn't be allowed in public. Jfc. I'm so sorry that happened to you."
"It does sound like it looks pretty bada$$, for the record! Rock what you got girl!" – rckblykitn14
"Seconded! You sound very cool and bada$$. It's hard to stand up for yourself like that and you f*cking nailed it!" – mother_of_wolf
Not everyone would have handled this the same way as the OP.
"You know how I got this 'wound'? Some a$$hole bothered me while I was minding my own business."
"*Father grabs little one and leaves*"– SashaStriker
While her scar is not ideal, many of the commenters encouraged her to embrace her new look.
"Hell yeah it's bada$! From her description that is literally the type of scar they I immediately chose when I am making a bada$ in a game."
"It is f*cking amazing. Not trying to downplay the injury or the affect it may have on her future though, it's just so f*cking cool." – demonmonkey89
"It also sounds like you may have embarrassed him! Congrats!"
"And honestly, your description makes it sound like you are going to be the owner of a pretty bad a$$ scar. You own it, not the other way around. So kick a$$ and take names!" – sugerplum1972
"In my head she's going to look like a Witcher after the scar heals, which is the most bada$$ looking thing ever." – omaewamu_shinderu
People admired her hutzpah.
"OP sounds like someone who would strut away from exploding buildings in slow mo." – gotothebloodytop
And she was reminded of her priorities.
"OP, the only thing that matters as to whether you should be covering your scar is what your doctor recommends."
"You should be caring for your wound as directed. After that, only your feelings on the subject matter."
"Anyone else who even dares to have an opinion deserves to have their head bitten off." – oxytocin_tattoo
It was a missed opportunity for a teachable lesson.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you! What a sh*t father- could have been a great teaching opportunity for his child that some people are different and that's totally ok, we don't treat them any differently."
"The fact that you are even concerned abt being the a$$hole tells me you are a beautiful person." – AddisonArmilda
Redditor "KahurangiNZ" has a similar facial scar and commiserated with the OP.
The user believed the child's dramatic reaction to the OP's face was "learned behavior."
The person also talked about dealing with children who are more curious than afraid.
"Absolutely. The father had an awesome teaching moment, and completely blew it."
That said, I'm guessing that the kids over-the-top reacting was a learned behavior, quite likely from Dad, which puts him firmly in the position of TA not just for what he said to OP, but for teaching his kid to actively fear or be disgusted by anything that doesn't fit his version of 'normal.'"
"It's a small slide from 'ew, that's a horrible scar, hide it' to 'ew, your skin is the wrong color,' etc."
"I also have a significant scar on my face (lip to the side of my chin and the enervation/muscles are a bit munted so when I smile a section of my chin pulls in funny ways), and in my experience, little kids are curious but not in the least bit afraid."
"They want to ask what it is, how it happened, does it hurt, they want to touch, and I'm perfectly happy to tell them I had an accident and ended up with a scar and it's just a part of who I am now."
"No drama, no grumpiness, it's just, yeah I have brown hair and hazel eyes and a scar."
"I've made a point of teaching my child that people are people regardless of what their exterior looks like, and that it's what's on the inside that really counts."
"When he was little, if he was curious about someone/something I'd explain what he was asking about (e.g., a person using a wheelchair has some sort of injury or disability that means they can't walk at the moment and for some people that might be temporary and for others it could be permanent; the person with the tattoos down their arm has chosen to permanently decorate their skin, etc)."
"OP, you are very much NTA. And I hope that you are (or can become) accepting of this change and that it is now just another part of you."
"While you may not necessarily consider it good (although I hope you find it aesthetically pleasing in some way), it's definitely not bad either, it's just ...there."
"If people want to be judgmental about it, that's their problem, not yours."
The Redditor was not about to end her post without helping a fellow friend.
"Oh, and I found good quality Aloe Vera and Vitamin A and E cream helped the skin healing a lot more than just an emollient ointment. You might like to ask your doctor if that's worth a try. :-)"
One could only hope the father from the flight became contemplative after stoking his son's fear with the confrontation and had a sensible discussion about people looking different.
Because impressions can be just as permanent as scars.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.