If you are a woman (or any non-cis man gender), the things men do can seem strange, confusing, and even stupid. While we may not understand it, man logic is a whole different way of thinking. After all, as a wise person once said, "men are from Mars". Here are a few examples of this from the women of Reddit.
u/_snazzleton_ asked: Women of Reddit, what is something about men that confuses you?
It can get scary.
My bf and his friends play video games that make them angry and upset more often than not, but they insist they love them and are their favorite games.
It's a stress release. Men are generally taught to not show emotions and be tough. Games are a way to let those bottled up feelings out after a long day of being a rock.
We just want to shoot some motherf*ckers.
The real questions.
Giphy
When a girl sits in your lap what does it feel like, and is there a right way and wrong way to do it?
Face: Chill. This is cool, havin' a good time.
Brain: AAAAHHHHH! She's sitting on my lap! WHERE DO I PUT MY HANDS!
It gets tangled?
Does having a d*ck feel uncomfortable when you wear pants? I feel like it would stick to your thigh and I think I wouldn't like that.
Not really, boxer briefs do a reasonably good job of keeping it contained. It's actually more uncomfortable how sometimes it likes to get tangled up in the boxers I sleep in.
He's just nervous.
I know this guy who I think likes me. He's usually really reserved around me but every once in awhile he'll just come up to me, totally confident but next minute he's shy again. Why?
If he does like you, he's probably nervous. He's getting moments of courage that don't last forever. He might be looking for a clear 'go for it' signal. So if you're interested, try approaching him during a shy moment. You making the move might be the sign he needs.
5-in-1?????
Giphy
What's the deal with your 2-in-1 shampoos? My boyfriend has a 5-in-1 and I don't understand how it can wash everything!
Good to know.
What does it feel like to stick your d*ck in something? What's a comparable feeling?
Imagine if your finger had about 10,000x the nerve endings, but just at the last knuckle and fingernails aren't a thing. That's somewhat equivalent. Now imagine that feeling attached to your groin and the feeling radiating deep to your core.
Ejaculation has the same heart stopping sensation as a good sneeze, as well as a evacuating feeling like a good poop or like when you finally pee after holding it for a long time. But again, all this radiating outward from your core in the direction of and through this groin appendage, almost convulsing at times. Your whole body gets hot, and there's a brief moment almost like passing out, then reality comes flooding back in as you catch your breath and recover.
That's a valid question.
Have you ever had to wait in line for the bathroom?
[deleted]
At tech conferences, all the time. There's always a bit of a joke about the tables being turned from the usual concert / sporting event type situation, because the ~10% of attendees who are women have no wait at all.
This is cute.
Giphy
How do you tell if a guy likes you and how do I get a guy to like me?
Don't be afraid to make the first move. Even if you're anxious, keep in mind that asking a guy out is a massive ego boost for him. Not in a bad way, more like "this is the most positive thing to happen to me in years" kind of way. And a guy will remember you being into him for years afterwards. Hell, I got a compliment from a girl I'd never spoken to years ago in high school and it still makes me feel better about myself.
That's a little creepy.
Is turning simple things, like a towel roll or a pool noodle, into a pretend gun an instinct for you lot?
If it's gun shaped and I'm with my buddies, absolutely.
I wish women's clothes had bigger pockets....
What is it like to have large jean pockets?
We can put anything in it from switches to wallets, you name we can put it in our pockets.
Too real.
Giphy
When I text multiple questions to a guy, they only seem to answer one question and ignore the rest. For example:
me: hey did you still wanna see that movie later tonight?
me: also, are we still working out at 2 tomorrow?
guy: yeah I'm still good for tomorrow at 2
(no response to the first question)
me (15 minutes later): so... what about the movie?
guy: yeah we're still good for tonight
Like, why not answer both questions???
I was wondering this too...
Like how do d*cks work? Can you accidentally sit on it? How do you place it?
You don't really place it anywhere. You just sit down and it goes wherever and you don't really think about it
It's possible to sit on your balls but it rarely happens and if it does then it hurts for a bit but you stand up instantly and sit back down but the pain is still there for a bit.
Clean up after yourself!
I totally get that they can't always control their pee stream but half the time they don't clean it up. Why?
It disgusts me when I go into a bathroom stall and see someone didn't clean up after themselves. Like - why do I have to clean up your mess? I will always clean up after myself.
Bro Code is a real thing?
Giphy
What are some of the rules of bro code?
I once knew a guy was interested in me and several of his friends sh*t talked him to me... saying they weren't sure if he's clean since he doesn't use condoms, saying I deserve better than him, he's just a f*ckboy and I don't want to be another number... obviously I appreciate that but did they break bro code in doing so?
I guess? I think this falls under the more general rule that a bro must not, under any circumstance, interfere with or interrupt another bro as he is attempting to score, nor otherwise damage his chance of doing so.
As far as other rules of the Bro Code, the two most important are: 1) never take a urinal directly next to an already occupied one unless there is no other choice, and 2) greeting someone as you walk by is to be done, after making eye contact, by way of a single nod - nod down for a stranger, nod up for a bro.
My fiancé is 11 years older than me so I feel this.
What's your deal with age gaps? Is it just a joke, or would you guys actually go for anyone 18 and up, regardless of your own age. No hate, just curious.
If she's cool - we're certainly cool with it (legal).
Young woman who hasn't grown bitter or jaded with life. Better yet when they have opted out of their own gen since many just see it as a dead end. You can't have a future with a guy who sees a dinner date as a fast food visit. Too busy playing games than paying attention to her. The final nail is not wanting to be mature.
And it's beyond just sex for men. That's a poor reasoning used so often. It's vitality - her energy; he will do things with her that he would never do with someone his own age. A great joy in that.
As said, 'you're only as old as you feel' and with a younger woman you feel... opportunities.
If both are happy, the age gap pointless. She wants an established man, not a boy. And he wants her spirit. A fair and merry trade.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
They asked:
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
Pennies...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularity
Giphy1937
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
Walrus Parts
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
Propaganda...
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
Jars
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemen
GiphyInteresting.
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
Shut Tight!
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonreal
GiphyHoliday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
Oh Grandma...
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
Snuffed
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
Luggage
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_Hippo
GiphyWho doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
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Reddit user Money-Associate1601 asked:
"What’s something you look forward to every single day?"
A few years ago I wouldn't have had an answer to this, but as I read through I suddenly realized that I have one.
Also, that I enjoy it!
Mornings spent relaxing in the hammock before my day gets punted into shenanigans by my kids, my dogs, my job, or some unholy combo of the three have become crucial for my mental health.
Huh. Who knew?
Let's see what Reddit loves about their routines.
Going To Work (!)
"Going to work."
"It sounds strange, but I love it because I'm working with my son. He’s 23. I’m 50. We spend M-F working together building homes. We laugh all day long."
"It’s the happiest time of my life. I know it’s finite, so I’m enjoying it as much as possible while it lasts."
- thecrab87
"This hits me(23) so much. My dad (50) gave me a job at his company a year ago and always tells me how proud he his of me."
"Just before Christmas he got sick and almost died. When he got out of the hospital he told me how much he cherished our relationship and how it meant everything to him."
"It makes me emotional every time I read things like this."
- Qc-ripguru67
"My brother and I did landscaping together on the weekends. We use to complain about it, but after we sold the business I really missed spending time with him."
"What I miss the most is eating lunch together and riding home after a long day."
- ripped-p-ness
GiphyPajama Party
"Changing out of work clothes and into pajamas"
- send_boba
"My pajamas are my real clothes. Everything else is a facade."
- sharkittens
"The best thing about the pandemic: I work from home all the time and I can wear pajamas all the time!"
- circle_jerker_2000
"Sometimes I get home by 3pm from work and get right into my PJs."
"Even if I’m going out later, I’ll just change out of my PJs when I need to. If I’m home for an hour or longer, I’m in my PJs."
"It’s the only way."
- dat_girl83
GiphyPick Up Time
"Picking my daughters up from daycare."
"As soon as they see me, they drop whatever they were doing and run to me with the biggest smile on their faces and yelling 'Daddyyy!' "
"The absolute sh*ttiest day at work just disappears in that moment."
- all_the_fun_stuff
"100% this."
"Basically anything to do with my kids. Waking them up for school and hanging out in bed for those 5 minutes in the morning is always so much fun."
"Meeting my daughter off the bus from school. Seeing my son when he gets home from preschool and just wants to play."
"Kids are the best cure for a sh*t day at work."
- pdxrunner82
"My 2 year old screams 'IT’S MOM!!!' in absolute delight every day when I get home from work. Nothing else compares!"
- thetermagant
GiphyEmployee Of The Month
"My baby dog’s big morning stretch. He's actually a senior but he will stay about 5 lbs for forever, so we call him our baby dog."
"Oh! And then watching him go back to sleep in his office bed when I start work. He works so hard. Employee of the month, every month."
- maltymawma
"I love working in the morning and then at about 11 am my dog finally gets up. She does her morning back scratches on the carpet and then demands snuggles."
"It's my favorite unscheduled break time that happens daily."
- Food_is_my_Motive
"My cat Ygritte is my supervisor. She works so hard sleeping and making biscuits on blankets/beds/boxes with blankets."
"She yells at me if I stop working, yells at me when it is break time, and starts getting in between myself and my computer 15 minutes before the end of the day."
"She won't stop until I clock out, it is her everyday being like Nahhhhh you done. Pet me instead."
"She is the best boss I have ever had."
- AltruisticProgress9
GiphyNightly Read
"I live at a friends family house. They offered me shelter after I became homeless and every night I go to my car to read."
"I find that reading in my car every night before going to sleep gives this family a chance to get a break from seeing me and I get a chance to be calm and away from everyone."
"They are amazing people and It’s been so fun. I’m so thankful that they let me stay in their living room, but they tend to use it at night to watch a movie or have family time so I take a chance to let them be and I get a chance to learn something and relax in my car."
- AvocadoSaltAndLime
GiphyFueled By Coffee
"My morning coffee. I get a different coffee every week and drinking it is the most relaxing part of my day."
- hafilax
"Same."
"I had a Colombian blend last week, this week I got a black roast that is so strong I swear its making me grow a beard."
"I'm up at 5 every morning for 'me time', which you dont get with 3 small kids and making my coffee and staring into space for an hour is amazing."
- 2_kids_no_more·
"Coffee is mine as well."
"I love to get a big-ass black coffee with a little cream, put on a good podcast and chill out for a bit while I wake up. Quite possibly the only thing I consistently look forward to every single day."
- instinctbluess
"YES! I set up the coffee pot the night before, every night."
"In the morning my husband gets up to start it and crawls back into bed while it brews. When it's ready he puts his robe on and quietly brings me a cup, sets it on my nightstand and goes into the living room to peacefully wake up on his own, staring at his phone."
"In between alarm snoozes I briefly wake up and take a few sips of coffee. After several snoozes, I need a refill and that's usually when I get up to join him. It's such a great way to wake up, I love it so much."
"Some mornings he has to just get up and go off to a job site but no matter how early it is, he brings me a cup of coffee in bed before giving me a kiss and going. He's the best."
- theredheaddiva
GiphyMid-Day Text
"That mid-day text from my husband, asking me if I can please come home early because he and the dogs miss me, usually accompanied by a photo of the 4 of them looking wistfully at the camera."
"It never, ever gets old. So thankful for all of them!"
- luisapet
"Ugh. Mine always wants to know when I’ll be back because he wants something."
- Funny-Tree-4083
"Oh my god I want this. You are so lucky."
- __Vixen__
"I also want this in my life."
"All I get is calls/messages from scammers or customer service."
- amrit-9037
GiphyObserving This Scene
"The sheer, spontaneous joy my dogs have when my wife gets home."
"I tell them 'Who's home?' Then they hear the garage door opening and know Mommy's Home!"
"Batsh*t-crazy pandemonium ensues until I open the side door of garage. Even cuter, my wife is just as happy to see them, too!"
"Nothing beats observing this scene every day, for 11 years."
- Complex-Value-5807
"Absolutely this."
"I adopted a little baby potato two years ago. Now he’s a big old spaz and he has an absolute fit with joy whenever daddy gets home from work."
"He’s so excited he can’t even sit still for pets and kisses. Jumping up and down on the furniture, running around in circles, pure happiness."
- FunnyQueer
GiphyAt Peace
"I have 30 mins in my day in between work where I just sit on a bench in this park."
"No phone, no earphones, nothing but just me enjoying the sound of birds and whooshing of the trees. Feel most at peace during that time."
- DJTISTA
"I have recently started doing this towards the end of the day."
"It has started filling me up with peace and enthusiasm. I highly recommend this. Half an hour, daily, setting sun/rising sun, somewhere not too noisy, near water if possible."
- pappugulal
"Time like this is essential! Good for you for giving it to yourself!"
- Zebsnotdeadbaby
GiphyLunch
"The last 15 years of my working life was running a route, checking into about 235 businesses each month. It kept me very busy, I seldom had time for lunch over 1/2 hour."
"I always thought how nice it would be when I retire, to have time to set down and actually enjoy lunch."
"Fast forward 5 years, I've been retired and now I get one full hour of lunch and reading whatever book has my attention for those 5 days a week instead."
"It's heaven."
- zerogravity111111
GiphySo what have we learned today, dear readers?
The thing most of these Redditors looked forward to was a moment of peace or affection.
Whether it was from a pet, a kid, a book, or a hot cup of coffee it seems people wanted a literal or proverbial hug.
Does that track for you? What's the part of your day you look forward to most.
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