If you are a woman (or any non-cis man gender), the things men do can seem strange, confusing, and even stupid. While we may not understand it, man logic is a whole different way of thinking. After all, as a wise person once said, "men are from Mars". Here are a few examples of this from the women of Reddit.
u/_snazzleton_ asked: Women of Reddit, what is something about men that confuses you?
It can get scary.
My bf and his friends play video games that make them angry and upset more often than not, but they insist they love them and are their favorite games.
It's a stress release. Men are generally taught to not show emotions and be tough. Games are a way to let those bottled up feelings out after a long day of being a rock.
We just want to shoot some motherf*ckers.
The real questions.
GiphyWhen a girl sits in your lap what does it feel like, and is there a right way and wrong way to do it?
Face: Chill. This is cool, havin' a good time.
Brain: AAAAHHHHH! She's sitting on my lap! WHERE DO I PUT MY HANDS!
It gets tangled?
Does having a d*ck feel uncomfortable when you wear pants? I feel like it would stick to your thigh and I think I wouldn't like that.
Not really, boxer briefs do a reasonably good job of keeping it contained. It's actually more uncomfortable how sometimes it likes to get tangled up in the boxers I sleep in.
He's just nervous.
I know this guy who I think likes me. He's usually really reserved around me but every once in awhile he'll just come up to me, totally confident but next minute he's shy again. Why?
If he does like you, he's probably nervous. He's getting moments of courage that don't last forever. He might be looking for a clear 'go for it' signal. So if you're interested, try approaching him during a shy moment. You making the move might be the sign he needs.
5-in-1?????
GiphyWhat's the deal with your 2-in-1 shampoos? My boyfriend has a 5-in-1 and I don't understand how it can wash everything!
Good to know.
What does it feel like to stick your d*ck in something? What's a comparable feeling?
Imagine if your finger had about 10,000x the nerve endings, but just at the last knuckle and fingernails aren't a thing. That's somewhat equivalent. Now imagine that feeling attached to your groin and the feeling radiating deep to your core.
Ejaculation has the same heart stopping sensation as a good sneeze, as well as a evacuating feeling like a good poop or like when you finally pee after holding it for a long time. But again, all this radiating outward from your core in the direction of and through this groin appendage, almost convulsing at times. Your whole body gets hot, and there's a brief moment almost like passing out, then reality comes flooding back in as you catch your breath and recover.
That's a valid question.
Have you ever had to wait in line for the bathroom?
[deleted]
At tech conferences, all the time. There's always a bit of a joke about the tables being turned from the usual concert / sporting event type situation, because the ~10% of attendees who are women have no wait at all.
This is cute.
GiphyHow do you tell if a guy likes you and how do I get a guy to like me?
Don't be afraid to make the first move. Even if you're anxious, keep in mind that asking a guy out is a massive ego boost for him. Not in a bad way, more like "this is the most positive thing to happen to me in years" kind of way. And a guy will remember you being into him for years afterwards. Hell, I got a compliment from a girl I'd never spoken to years ago in high school and it still makes me feel better about myself.
That's a little creepy.
Is turning simple things, like a towel roll or a pool noodle, into a pretend gun an instinct for you lot?
If it's gun shaped and I'm with my buddies, absolutely.
I wish women's clothes had bigger pockets....
What is it like to have large jean pockets?
We can put anything in it from switches to wallets, you name we can put it in our pockets.
Too real.
GiphyWhen I text multiple questions to a guy, they only seem to answer one question and ignore the rest. For example:
me: hey did you still wanna see that movie later tonight?
me: also, are we still working out at 2 tomorrow?
guy: yeah I'm still good for tomorrow at 2
(no response to the first question)
me (15 minutes later): so... what about the movie?
guy: yeah we're still good for tonight
Like, why not answer both questions???
I was wondering this too...
Like how do d*cks work? Can you accidentally sit on it? How do you place it?
You don't really place it anywhere. You just sit down and it goes wherever and you don't really think about it
It's possible to sit on your balls but it rarely happens and if it does then it hurts for a bit but you stand up instantly and sit back down but the pain is still there for a bit.
Clean up after yourself!
I totally get that they can't always control their pee stream but half the time they don't clean it up. Why?
It disgusts me when I go into a bathroom stall and see someone didn't clean up after themselves. Like - why do I have to clean up your mess? I will always clean up after myself.
Bro Code is a real thing?
GiphyWhat are some of the rules of bro code?
I once knew a guy was interested in me and several of his friends sh*t talked him to me... saying they weren't sure if he's clean since he doesn't use condoms, saying I deserve better than him, he's just a f*ckboy and I don't want to be another number... obviously I appreciate that but did they break bro code in doing so?
I guess? I think this falls under the more general rule that a bro must not, under any circumstance, interfere with or interrupt another bro as he is attempting to score, nor otherwise damage his chance of doing so.
As far as other rules of the Bro Code, the two most important are: 1) never take a urinal directly next to an already occupied one unless there is no other choice, and 2) greeting someone as you walk by is to be done, after making eye contact, by way of a single nod - nod down for a stranger, nod up for a bro.
My fiancé is 11 years older than me so I feel this.
What's your deal with age gaps? Is it just a joke, or would you guys actually go for anyone 18 and up, regardless of your own age. No hate, just curious.
If she's cool - we're certainly cool with it (legal).
Young woman who hasn't grown bitter or jaded with life. Better yet when they have opted out of their own gen since many just see it as a dead end. You can't have a future with a guy who sees a dinner date as a fast food visit. Too busy playing games than paying attention to her. The final nail is not wanting to be mature.
And it's beyond just sex for men. That's a poor reasoning used so often. It's vitality - her energy; he will do things with her that he would never do with someone his own age. A great joy in that.
As said, 'you're only as old as you feel' and with a younger woman you feel... opportunities.
If both are happy, the age gap pointless. She wants an established man, not a boy. And he wants her spirit. A fair and merry trade.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
"Not true."
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37
College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphyHis eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegion
Winona Ryder Omg GIFGiphyAn urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123
missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park GiphyMemories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
sailor moon cooking GIFYears
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
cleon42
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
Until_Morning
Take Me
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
ratchet0101
"Taco bell it is!"
No-Caterpillar4212
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
RDAwesome
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
MamaSweeney24
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
IDontControlTheFood
Perfect
Fried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Aggravating-Year-776
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
Details
Interested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
W0nderfu1W0nder
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
forewontoi
Broken
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
Curiousuk_South9566
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
oliv111
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
grilled-pbj
Sorry
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
ImStillaPrick
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
thegodfaubel
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
KingOfTheGoobers
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
anticlockclock
How Golden
Golden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
ATLAS_IS_LOST
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlateman
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyLack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mj
happy eric cartman GIF by South Park GiphyWhen they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheese
la respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphyViolently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmega
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyAllow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93
Dog Driving GIFGiphyWait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.