Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
Giphy"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
"What’s the gifting equivalent of flowers for a dude?"
Nothing Says Love Like Home-Baked Goods...
"Fresh baked cookies or brownies."- zazzlekdazzle
"It's a traditional romantic gift from the opposite sex that can also be given as condolence or congratulation."
"In every scenario where a girl might get given flowers, a guy might get given baked goods."- Efficient_Star_1336
Please Their Ego, And You'll Be Fine...
"Maaaan, just some appreciation and maybe a compliment."- Far_Kangaroo_8111
"I’m a simple man and don’t usually like being gifted anything."
"But a hug and heartfelt compliment or kiss from a SO goes a long way."- Fenix_Fire66
White Lotus Flirting GIF by HBOGiphyNo Need To Shop, Just Look At The Ground
"A cool rock."- simonearth
"My best mate would be over the moon if I found a cool rock and gave it to him."- NotoriousJAM
More Precious Than You Think...
"A 10mm socket."- speedyhemi
"There are only 1000 10mm sockets in the world and they move around, so if you can’t find yours it means that someone else is using it right now."- unbearablebastard
Nothing Better Than A Warm Embrace
"Hug works for me."- randymysteries
Season 9 Hug GIF by The OfficeGiphySomething To Eat, Not Just See And Smell
"Lots of guys on here saying flowers."
"Sure, some guys might want flowers, but don’t let this convince you that all guys secretly want someone to give them flowers."
"I’m a 38 year old guy."
"I don’t want flowers."
"I don’t want to find a vase for them."
"I don’t want to clean up when they wilt and the petals fall off."
"I don’t want you to waste your money on them."
"Don’t get me flowers."
"Get me something I can eat or drink instead."
"Beef jerky."
"Nice coffee."
"Nice booze."
"Dessert."- gilded-perineum
"Hot meal?"- kurainikuraini
Korean Drama Cooking GIF by The Swoon"Everything Is Awesome"...
"A Lego set."- dysFUNctional_kitty
"Yes!"
"I don’t drink alcohol or like flowers, but there is always room for one more Lego set on my shelf."- DelusionalPianist
And NOT Well-Done...
"A pack of ribeyes."- fishstock
"I have rarely loved my wife as much as when she came home with a barbecue kit."
"She told me I didn’t treat myself often enough."
"So she got a couple of beers."
"Went to the butcher for a couple of burgers and a steak."
"All I had to do was turn on the grill and sit back."- mirage2101
Still In The Botanical Family...
"Potted plant."
"I love flowers, but like, bring me the whole plant."
"The flowers will die in a few days."- PVDeviant-
Little Shop Of Horrors GIF by MauditGiphySeems Fairly Obvious
"Beer."
"A six-pack is always a nice gesture."- Excellent-Practice·
Just Make Sure You Get The Right Kind And Sauces!
"Chicken wings"- wm_destroy
"Plus Ranch or Blue Cheese (depending on preference)."- RatherDashingf11
Just Don't Expect To Ever Hear From Him Again...
"RTX 4090."- Jetzve
"The only right answer."- _Revlak_
Video Games Gamer GIFGiphyIt should perhaps be mentioned that not all women love getting flowers either.
Pollen is a notoriously bad allergy.
However, no matter the gender of the recipient, any gift to show how much you appreciate them should be met with gratitude.
After all, it's the gesture that counts.
Though, it shouldn't come as a surprise that some people will be even more visibly grateful to receive a gorgeous Wagyu rib-eye than they would a bouquet of daffodils...
