Have you ever Marie Kondo'd yourself a little bit too hard?
It's kind of something I'm notorious for. Most of my family has a bit of a hoarding habit, so I guess you could say my version of rebellion is the fact that I keep virtually nothing. I don't typically attach sentimental value to things, so throwing them away or donating them comes easily.
If it doesn't spark joy in that moment, it's out.
That doesn't mean there haven't been a few times I've totally regretted my extreme-Kondo habits. I'm looking at you, original Fashion Star Fillies from the 80's. Never has a plastic pony been more full of elegaaaanza.
Reddit user abstimax wanted to know what sorts of things people had gotten rid of but wish they had kept. Not gonna lie, most people's reasonings for wishing they had kept things went well beyond objective fabulousness.
That doesn't mean the things they regret getting rid of were any less interesting, though. Check out some of these responses.
Dear Diary, NOPE!
GiphyMy old diaries. Was too scared my parents would go through my room and discover it when I was away at camp. So much regret, because it would have been so interesting to look back and read about how younger me thought and viewed life, and the things that I deemed important to me back then.
I kept my old diaries, but moved around a lot on my 20s and left them at my parents house. When the time came to clean out my stuff (I was in my mid-30s), I went through them again, thinking it would be pretty cool to revisit 14 year old me. I cringed so hard I ended up throwing them out.
10+ Years Of Art
My old harddrive that I accidentally wiped the entire partition that had like 10+ years of my artwork saved on it.
Wardrobe Whoopsies
Lost a bunch of weight (30lbs). Threw out all my fat clothes because "I'll never let myself get like that again!"
Life happened, lots of stress happened, gained the weight back. Had to buy all new fat clothes.
3 years later, lost all the weight again. Did I learn from my mistake last time and keep my fat clothes? NOPE. Threw them out as incentive because THIS time, THIS time, I would DEFINITELY not gain it back. I was scared that if I kept the fat clothes, I would somehow be less motivated to keep the weight off.
Moved away, had to change jobs from very active to sedentary job, stupidly didn't adjust my diet to compensate. Gained most of the weight back.
Going to lose the weight again but this time I will keep my damn clothes.
- elf-y
Never Forgiven Myself
I was given a $45,000 trust fund when I turned 18 (my mother passed away when I was 4 and her assets were sold, with funds being divided between my siblings and I in a locked GIC until we were 18). I spent it in 1 yr on booze and gifts for boyfriends........have never forgiven myself.
The Book
The first girl I ever fell in love with wrote me a book. An entire book. It was about her early childhood and all this stuff she went through. We broke up because I left high school before she did, and we grew apart. We eventually became friends again, and she asked me for it back years later when she was going through therapy and wanted to see what she'd written when she was younger.
I threw the book away in a dumpster, along with my high school yearbooks and some other stuff that reminded me of her. I lied and said I lost it because I didn't want her to think she ever meant so little to me.
I still feel guilty that I let my emotions get the better of me. I saw a Gilmore Girls episode once where the mom has a box for stuff her daughter wants to throw away, but she makes her wait a year before really doing it. I should've had that box.
When Mom Cleaned
When I was in the 5th grade, my mom started to raise a huge stink about the state of my bedroom. As a kid, through a combination of generous aunts and uncles, good grades, and plain ol' begging, I'd amassed a collection of stuff: SNES and Genesis games (yes, my SNES and Genesis ran fine), Batman: The Animated Series, X-Men, and Spider-Man: The Animater series action figures, LEGO sets, Micro Machines, Mighty Max playsets, GI Joes, gaming magazines, and posters. She wanted me to get rid of all that stuff because I was in the 5th grade now and should be more "grown up". I actively resisted.
And then I made the mistake of going out of town. I went on an out of town camping trip with some cousins for a weekend. I cam back, and my room was basically empty. Just clothes and books and bare walls and empty shelves. Mom said she "had my room cleaned", and to this day (I'm 31 now), I still harbor a deep resentment over that.
Charger Needed
I have an old Motorola mobile phone that I must have thrown out the charger etc. for ages ago. It has a video of my younger brother throwing the funniest temper tantrum while trying to put his already-tied shoes on & refusing to stop & untie the laces first. I swear one day I will embarrass the hell out of him with the video & for that reason, I still have the phone at home just in case one day I manage to boot it up again...one day.
- itsBoof
I Already Owned That
When I got divorced my main concern was getting out as quickly as I could for safety reasons. So when I first moved out I loaded everything I couldn't live without into my car; like my pets, my clothes, important documents, favorite books, and irreplaceable mementos. Everything else didn't really matter to me at that point.
After discussing it with my ex he gave me 1 day to come in and pick up some of my stuff. And he fought me on everything. DVD's, furniture, kitchenware, you name it. I left with less than half of what I owned. I know in the long run it doesn't matter because I made it out with my pets and were all safe now, but its so frustrating to repurchase things that I already own.
Forgetting Mom
My parents divorced when I was eleven and I stayed with my mother and my sister. Afterwards my mother became psychologically abusive and my sister emulated her while also becoming anorexic which made the following seven years everything but what you'd like a childhood to be like. At 18 I decided that I had enough and with the help of my father moved out and to college when they weren't at home.
I only left a letter explaining why I left and blocked them in any way possible. A year later I get a package with a lot of pictures from my childhood from my mother. At the time, I really just wanted to forget about her so I threw out all the pictures that had her in them and gave the rest to my father to keep.
As much as she is a despicable person, I really would like to have kept them. I left in a hurry back then so I didn't take any other childhood pictures with me and regret having destroyed something so unique and personal despite the bad memories. It hurts.
Private Poetry
Half my life ago I was 14 and I got hit by a car. I ended up in a coma and with frontal lobe brain damage. When I finally got home from hospital months later I expressed my feelings and how I was dealing with everything through poetry. But I was very very private about it. So when my mum found them and told me she'd read them and they were great I immediately threw them away. It felt like a violation.
I wish I'd kept them, not even for my sake but they might've helped someone else going through the same thing.
Pictures Of The Ex
GiphyHonestly, pictures of me and my ex after we split.
We met in college 9 years ago and dated for about 1.5 years. We took tons of pictures during that time but we had a messy breakup. 21-year old me decided to delete those pictures without thinking of the consequences.
5 years later, we decided to give it another chance and now I'm married to her.
The Secret Mentor's Journal
I have the worst story ever.
15+ years ago I met a married guy at a conference. Fell head over heels for him in like 5 minutes, but.... married. At the end of the week it turned out he had been randomly assigned me, as his secret mentee. So all week he had been secretly researching and working on the issues I was at the conference to study/improve myself on. He took it really seriously and even got up at like 5am every day to have a couple of hours to research ways to help me. He even kept a journal of tips, thoughts on our conversations, and tons of words of encouragement that I could use in the future. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. When he gave it to me I almost started bawling. But.... married.
When I got home I absolutely could not walk past where that journal was without thinking of him and going to a really dark place. I was single and I realized I was comparing every guy I met to this person I could never be with, who I had known for a total 5 days. Dumb!! So I threw the journal away. Over the years, every so often some of his words of education/encouragement would come back to me, and I would immediately push them out of my mind.
A couple of years ago we ran into each other by chance. He had just gotten divorced but was definitely still going through a lot and was in no way ready to date. But we got to be really good friends. He even took me and my mom to lunch one day when my mom had just gotten out of the hospital and needed help getting around.
At lunch my mom blabbed "I remember her talking about you after that conference! You're the one who made her that journal!" Dude laughed and pulled out of his breast pocket a friggin handwritten copy of the journal he had made for himself. 15+ years later. They were little notepad-style books, and he said he had kept mine in his inside breast pocket at the conference, so that he could jot down thoughts throughout the day.- Sashanasha
He said "carrying me next to his heart" for those days and getting up early in the morning to write it had made him feel really close to me. He said that since our friendship had resumed and I'd been facing a lot of challenges with my mom's health, he had been *adding to the journal* and said "bring me yours, I'll copy some stuff over."
I started stammering horribly and practically cried when I said "oh I think when I moved it got lost..." and readers: HIS FACE. It was like I murdered his puppy in front of him!
But I didn't know how to say "I couldn't look at it without wishing you would get a divorce and I didn't want to be that kind of person. and I needed to move on to other men without having you as all five faces on my personal Mount Rushmore." I didn't know how to tell him "I threw my heart away that day" or "when we reconnected, I realized that the reason I'm still single is because I never stopped comparing other men to you."
So he assumed I just didn't feel anything but friendship for him, and got all shy and embarrassed. I'm still trying to convince him but so far it hasn't worked. I still don't know if I should tell him or not -- what a weird thing to say to somebody! But man, what I wouldn't give to have that journal back.
The Last Doorbell Video
When my 17 year old son died in 2017, I had video from the ring doorbell the morning he went to school. In it was "Love you, too!" from him when he left for school.
It got deleted after a period of time. Not by me. Damn. I wish I had thought to save it someplace.
But at least I know his last words to me in person were about love. At least I know he died knowing his Mama loved him. He came into this world with those same words and he left with those same words- and that knowledge is comforting.
It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.
Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.
Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.
Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.
Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:
"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"
15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...
"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."
"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."
"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."
"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."
"And received absolutely nothing."
"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"
"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."
"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"
"'It's going to be huge!'"
"We all sit around the TV."
"It's February 2000."
"Boom, there's my uncle!"
"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."
"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."
"My uncle is screaming."
"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"
"We still have it on VHS somewhere."
"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988
Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyPreserved For Posterity...
"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt
Oops!
"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."
"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."
"He was married."- Fezig
Close Call
"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."
"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."
"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."
"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinja
Tiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphyUnpaid Extra
"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."
"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."
"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan
Right Place At The Right Time?
"A fight broke out at a HS football game."
"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'
"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr
Awww...
"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-You
Illustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphyStrike!
'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125
How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?
"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·
Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphySetting An Example...
"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."
"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."
"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419
Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...
"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."
"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."
"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."
"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."
"Got charged and everything."
"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU
Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...
"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."
"He returned it."
"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."
"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."
"He did it really well, too."
"He also didn't talk much."
"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."
"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80k
Animated GIFGiphySome people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.
Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...
Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...
People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.
Maybe it's the euphoria.
Maybe it's the adrenaline.
Maybe it's the tequila.
It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.
Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.
Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"
The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"
Geography matters.
Morbid Much?
In Bed Home GIFGiphy"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."
Vixxay
Meow
"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."
shlanky369
"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."
"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"
"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."
Trumpet6789
POP!
"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"
"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."
DasBatt
"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."
"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."
Straystar-626
Damn it's Good
"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"
"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."
"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."
draftstone
A Binding Contract
"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."
"Still together 5 years later!"
Tatarstan
It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.
And it all starts with a handshake.
Sleep on It
“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"
lennyukdeejay
"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."
EvilNinjaX24
"This is the best one."
TomKhatacourtmayfind
Tiny Dancer
"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."
fleetwoodsackk
"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."
striker180
Fine!
"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"
"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."
Fullyme
"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”
OrwellWasRight101
Amen
"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"
"I married her, we still goin' at it."
BeBearAwareOK
Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user callmejari asked:
"What's the weirdest compliment you have received?"
Zzzzz...
"Someone once told me that my voice was so soothing, it could put a crying baby sloth to sleep."
~ Marena-Cris-18
GiphyWhat About My Sneeze?
"'Your cough sounds nice' Was just a random girl on the train."
"Still throws me off 2 years later."
~ ThatGothDinosaur
GiphyHope It’s Not SpongeBob
"A 5-year-old kid told me he liked me because I looked like a cartoon."
~ Sea_Ganache620
Giphy
Unfulfilled Potential
"I have nice wide birthing hips."
"I'm a guy."
~ kudzufarmer
"You got the foundation for it, you're just missing the plumbing."
~ ARoundForEveryone
Giphy
Wrong Hemisphere, But Thanks
"When I was 16 working the drive thru—'You’re the prettiest Arabic girl I’ve ever seen'."
"I’m Mexican. But thank you ma’am."
~ 3sp00py5me
GiphyWas His Name Vlad?
"'You've got beautiful veins'."
"By the guy that injected my contrast before an MRI."
~ Reblax837
Werner Herzog Halloween GIF by Arrow VideoGiphyIt Keeps My Teeth In Place
"Some random NYC man told me I had a nice chin once. I still think about him."
~ pssht07070707
GiphyNever Skip Leg Day
"I was told by a woman walking behind me on stairs that I had great calves."
"It was kind of weird at the time."
~ Sider-Pride
Not The BBQ Ones
"'I like your ribs'."
"From random girl at a pool party during a music festival."
~ Particular-Natural12
GiphyCleaning Up On Aisle 5
"I delivered bread to grocery stores in the 90’s and when I decided to change routes, the young lady who had always checked me in told me she’d really miss the sound of my voice."
~ OGGBTFRND
GiphyBloody Offal
"One time I was at the doctor for some lower back pain getting an ultra sound and the tech looked me dead in the eye and said 'You have really nice kidneys. They're very plump.'"
"Best strange compliment I ever received."
~ FlashRage
A compliment is a compliment, right?
What's the weirdest compliment you've received?