Have you ever Marie Kondo'd yourself a little bit too hard?
It's kind of something I'm notorious for. Most of my family has a bit of a hoarding habit, so I guess you could say my version of rebellion is the fact that I keep virtually nothing. I don't typically attach sentimental value to things, so throwing them away or donating them comes easily.
If it doesn't spark joy in that moment, it's out.
That doesn't mean there haven't been a few times I've totally regretted my extreme-Kondo habits. I'm looking at you, original Fashion Star Fillies from the 80's. Never has a plastic pony been more full of elegaaaanza.
Reddit user abstimax wanted to know what sorts of things people had gotten rid of but wish they had kept. Not gonna lie, most people's reasonings for wishing they had kept things went well beyond objective fabulousness.
That doesn't mean the things they regret getting rid of were any less interesting, though. Check out some of these responses.
Dear Diary, NOPE!Giphy
My old diaries. Was too scared my parents would go through my room and discover it when I was away at camp. So much regret, because it would have been so interesting to look back and read about how younger me thought and viewed life, and the things that I deemed important to me back then.
I kept my old diaries, but moved around a lot on my 20s and left them at my parents house. When the time came to clean out my stuff (I was in my mid-30s), I went through them again, thinking it would be pretty cool to revisit 14 year old me. I cringed so hard I ended up throwing them out.
10+ Years Of Art
My old harddrive that I accidentally wiped the entire partition that had like 10+ years of my artwork saved on it.
Lost a bunch of weight (30lbs). Threw out all my fat clothes because "I'll never let myself get like that again!"
Life happened, lots of stress happened, gained the weight back. Had to buy all new fat clothes.
3 years later, lost all the weight again. Did I learn from my mistake last time and keep my fat clothes? NOPE. Threw them out as incentive because THIS time, THIS time, I would DEFINITELY not gain it back. I was scared that if I kept the fat clothes, I would somehow be less motivated to keep the weight off.
Moved away, had to change jobs from very active to sedentary job, stupidly didn't adjust my diet to compensate. Gained most of the weight back.
Going to lose the weight again but this time I will keep my damn clothes.
Never Forgiven Myself
I was given a $45,000 trust fund when I turned 18 (my mother passed away when I was 4 and her assets were sold, with funds being divided between my siblings and I in a locked GIC until we were 18). I spent it in 1 yr on booze and gifts for boyfriends........have never forgiven myself.
The first girl I ever fell in love with wrote me a book. An entire book. It was about her early childhood and all this stuff she went through. We broke up because I left high school before she did, and we grew apart. We eventually became friends again, and she asked me for it back years later when she was going through therapy and wanted to see what she'd written when she was younger.
I threw the book away in a dumpster, along with my high school yearbooks and some other stuff that reminded me of her. I lied and said I lost it because I didn't want her to think she ever meant so little to me.
I still feel guilty that I let my emotions get the better of me. I saw a Gilmore Girls episode once where the mom has a box for stuff her daughter wants to throw away, but she makes her wait a year before really doing it. I should've had that box.
When Mom Cleaned
When I was in the 5th grade, my mom started to raise a huge stink about the state of my bedroom. As a kid, through a combination of generous aunts and uncles, good grades, and plain ol' begging, I'd amassed a collection of stuff: SNES and Genesis games (yes, my SNES and Genesis ran fine), Batman: The Animated Series, X-Men, and Spider-Man: The Animater series action figures, LEGO sets, Micro Machines, Mighty Max playsets, GI Joes, gaming magazines, and posters. She wanted me to get rid of all that stuff because I was in the 5th grade now and should be more "grown up". I actively resisted.
And then I made the mistake of going out of town. I went on an out of town camping trip with some cousins for a weekend. I cam back, and my room was basically empty. Just clothes and books and bare walls and empty shelves. Mom said she "had my room cleaned", and to this day (I'm 31 now), I still harbor a deep resentment over that.
An original copy of Little Mermaid on VHS that had the penis on the castle.
I have an old Motorola mobile phone that I must have thrown out the charger etc. for ages ago. It has a video of my younger brother throwing the funniest temper tantrum while trying to put his already-tied shoes on & refusing to stop & untie the laces first. I swear one day I will embarrass the hell out of him with the video & for that reason, I still have the phone at home just in case one day I manage to boot it up again...one day.
I Already Owned That
When I got divorced my main concern was getting out as quickly as I could for safety reasons. So when I first moved out I loaded everything I couldn't live without into my car; like my pets, my clothes, important documents, favorite books, and irreplaceable mementos. Everything else didn't really matter to me at that point.
After discussing it with my ex he gave me 1 day to come in and pick up some of my stuff. And he fought me on everything. DVD's, furniture, kitchenware, you name it. I left with less than half of what I owned. I know in the long run it doesn't matter because I made it out with my pets and were all safe now, but its so frustrating to repurchase things that I already own.
My parents divorced when I was eleven and I stayed with my mother and my sister. Afterwards my mother became psychologically abusive and my sister emulated her while also becoming anorexic which made the following seven years everything but what you'd like a childhood to be like. At 18 I decided that I had enough and with the help of my father moved out and to college when they weren't at home.
I only left a letter explaining why I left and blocked them in any way possible. A year later I get a package with a lot of pictures from my childhood from my mother. At the time, I really just wanted to forget about her so I threw out all the pictures that had her in them and gave the rest to my father to keep.
As much as she is a despicable person, I really would like to have kept them. I left in a hurry back then so I didn't take any other childhood pictures with me and regret having destroyed something so unique and personal despite the bad memories. It hurts.
Half my life ago I was 14 and I got hit by a car. I ended up in a coma and with frontal lobe brain damage. When I finally got home from hospital months later I expressed my feelings and how I was dealing with everything through poetry. But I was very very private about it. So when my mum found them and told me she'd read them and they were great I immediately threw them away. It felt like a violation.
I wish I'd kept them, not even for my sake but they might've helped someone else going through the same thing.
Pictures Of The ExGiphy
Honestly, pictures of me and my ex after we split.
We met in college 9 years ago and dated for about 1.5 years. We took tons of pictures during that time but we had a messy breakup. 21-year old me decided to delete those pictures without thinking of the consequences.
5 years later, we decided to give it another chance and now I'm married to her.
The Secret Mentor's Journal
I have the worst story ever.
15+ years ago I met a married guy at a conference. Fell head over heels for him in like 5 minutes, but.... married. At the end of the week it turned out he had been randomly assigned me, as his secret mentee. So all week he had been secretly researching and working on the issues I was at the conference to study/improve myself on. He took it really seriously and even got up at like 5am every day to have a couple of hours to research ways to help me. He even kept a journal of tips, thoughts on our conversations, and tons of words of encouragement that I could use in the future. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. When he gave it to me I almost started bawling. But.... married.
When I got home I absolutely could not walk past where that journal was without thinking of him and going to a really dark place. I was single and I realized I was comparing every guy I met to this person I could never be with, who I had known for a total 5 days. Dumb!! So I threw the journal away. Over the years, every so often some of his words of education/encouragement would come back to me, and I would immediately push them out of my mind.
A couple of years ago we ran into each other by chance. He had just gotten divorced but was definitely still going through a lot and was in no way ready to date. But we got to be really good friends. He even took me and my mom to lunch one day when my mom had just gotten out of the hospital and needed help getting around.
At lunch my mom blabbed "I remember her talking about you after that conference! You're the one who made her that journal!" Dude laughed and pulled out of his breast pocket a friggin handwritten copy of the journal he had made for himself. 15+ years later. They were little notepad-style books, and he said he had kept mine in his inside breast pocket at the conference, so that he could jot down thoughts throughout the day.- Sashanasha
He said "carrying me next to his heart" for those days and getting up early in the morning to write it had made him feel really close to me. He said that since our friendship had resumed and I'd been facing a lot of challenges with my mom's health, he had been *adding to the journal* and said "bring me yours, I'll copy some stuff over."
I started stammering horribly and practically cried when I said "oh I think when I moved it got lost..." and readers: HIS FACE. It was like I murdered his puppy in front of him!
But I didn't know how to say "I couldn't look at it without wishing you would get a divorce and I didn't want to be that kind of person. and I needed to move on to other men without having you as all five faces on my personal Mount Rushmore." I didn't know how to tell him "I threw my heart away that day" or "when we reconnected, I realized that the reason I'm still single is because I never stopped comparing other men to you."
So he assumed I just didn't feel anything but friendship for him, and got all shy and embarrassed. I'm still trying to convince him but so far it hasn't worked. I still don't know if I should tell him or not -- what a weird thing to say to somebody! But man, what I wouldn't give to have that journal back.
The Last Doorbell Video
When my 17 year old son died in 2017, I had video from the ring doorbell the morning he went to school. In it was "Love you, too!" from him when he left for school.
It got deleted after a period of time. Not by me. Damn. I wish I had thought to save it someplace.
But at least I know his last words to me in person were about love. At least I know he died knowing his Mama loved him. He came into this world with those same words and he left with those same words- and that knowledge is comforting.
There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
This is a big one:
"Where are you from? No I mean where are you from."
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
The chronic one-upper.
"But she's your mother!"
Yeah, well she should've acted like one.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
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