Being a wingman or wingwoman or wingPERSON (it's 2019) is a sacred role that only the most worthy can fulfill. It requires thinking outside the box, even stooping to levels you'd never expect. But it's worth it for helping your friends find happiness, and of course, for the stories.
Dalk126 asked wingmen of Reddit: What was the most stupid plan you made to get two people together, that actually worked?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
50. It's All For The BestGiphy
Dated a girl that liked me. We eventually grew apart but just before we broke up i recommended she date my friend who i knew liked her after i mentioned she doesn't like me anymore as a joke. She actually asked him out to get to know him, and they've been dating for a while now
49. Makin' Atmosphere
Over the summer, I was at a bar with a group of my friends. There was a man there that my friend had been eyeing all summer, but she was too scared to make a move. Very drunk me promised her that if she could just start a conversation, I'd take care of the rest.
So once they started talking... I convinced every single other person at the bar to go to the outside section instead. I talked to more strangers that night than I ever had before, convincing all of them to leave the bar for a while. I must have talked 20 or 25 people total into leaving the bar to go outside.
Bonus: once they were all outside, I hung out around the door so people wouldn't be tempted to wander back inside. If I remember right, everyone had a pretty good sense of humor about the whole thing, and it was successful - he kissed her!
48. Conflicted Feelings
I tried messing with my younger cousin: took her Ipad then wrote something ambigious like "I always wanted to tell you that..." to the first boy I saw as she was embarassed and tried to steal it back.
Apparently it triggered confession from him and she was mad at me for doing it while happily hopping around. I guess worth it.
47. Stage 4 Clinging
My friend wanted to get together with her crush, he had a crush on her. Her crush and I had a huge conversation in roblox about it and they became more than friends. He became really clingy and they broke up.
46. A Time Before Gay
Wingwoman, not wingman, but still.
Guy I am friends with wants to date a girl I am also friends with. One time they happened to be standing behind one another (facing away from each other). I ran in, tapped their shoulders, so it seemed like they tapped each other's shoulder, and skirted out of there. They ended up dating for 7 years before the girl came out as lesbian. Good times
45. A Burger Of A Time
Not exactly a wingman but I was asked by a friend if he should ask a girl out and asked me how, of all people he asked me... Well any way I sort of knew the girl from college and happened to remember how she loves a good quality burger so I suggested asking if she wanted to go for a nice burger and it worked. They have been together for maybe 7 months or so now.
44. Even When You Try Not Ruining The Moment
My best friend liked this guy. So I started playing wingman for them. He texted me saying we should get a group to hang out. He came up with the whole plan but I had to take credit. I then asked my best friend if she would be up for a mall trip with the group. She told me good luck getting the guy she liked to go (little did she know he came up with the plan) at the mall we were walking around. He went up to ask her out and I decided to run away to not ruin the moment. I ended up knocking down an entire display shelf at the store and ruined the moment. But hey in the end they are still together!
43. Happily Ever After
I had a single colleague, my girlfriend had a single friend (female), we dropped them in a group msn chat and me and my gf left immediately.
They are together for 10 years and have two kids.
42. Years Down The Line
My GF (now fiance) and I had a special relationship with her best friend. My best friend tells me he's had a crush on her best friend, and was trying to figure out how to ask her to prom. After making sure he was cool with our 'history', I told him just to ask her.
He then proceeds to ask her what she would like for a promposal, then sneakily does those exact things while she isn't looking. Homemade cards, messing with slides on the teacher's presentations, and a few others. She of course said yes, and he just asked me about a week ago to be their best man.
41. Amicable Divorce
In the midst of divorce, I was talking with the soon to be ex about my best friend. Ended up giving him her number, and gave her his, and now they've been dating for 7 months and things are serious.
I miss seeing my best friend all the time, but at least I know if things continue to get serious my kids will have an awesome step mom.
40. Secondhand SerenadeGiphy
This is the story about how my friend wingman'd me once. I was in a foreign country on my birthday and decided to go to a bar with my friend and some people from the hostel. The bartender there was pretty cute and one of the guys from our group successfully convinced him that, in our strange made-up country, it was custom to kiss the birthday person. I got a kiss on each cheek from the bartender and a serenade later thanks to my friend (no idea how she did that, though).
39. The Same Goals
Wingwomen here, my friend wanted to get together with one of my friends and didn't know how to, so I told him to just go ask her.
The stupid part was that my friend he wanted to ask out was about to ask him out.
38. Yikkity Yakkity
So kinda the opposite, because my friends were being anti-wingmen for me, but it's still a good story.
I was very involved in my youth group and so I went to this big international convention. This girl from across the country who I was originally supposed to get with there dumped me (to be fair I was being really awkward). Anyway, I became super depressed (at the time seeing her was the one thing I had going for me because other stuff had also been going on, although in hindsight she wasn't nearly as amazing as I made her out to be at the time).
Anyway, at this time Yik Yak was still a thing, and now you could meet and dm people through Yik Yak because they added handles. I decided to try this and met a girl. She sent a picture over Yik Yak to show me what she looked like. The picture didn't make her look as unattractive as she really was, and my standards had significantly dropped, so I was down to meet her up the last night of the convention. We tried to meet up a couple times but couldn't find each other, but she was still trying.
Anyway, I kinda came to my senses and realized I didn't wanna get with this girl, so then the following happened:
First, this girl I was friends with who used to have a crush on me prior to the time of the convention (I never liked her back like that) was kinda friendly with this girl who was trying to get with me, and when my friend heard her mention me by name, she told our mutual friend who also knew this girl trying to get with me. He just stalled her, and then after some time said "no!" and jokingly tackled her (he was a small guy and it wasn't like a real violent assault). The thing is this mutual friend was someone who I previously had some issues with, and after I found out about what he did I came to appreciate him more.
Second, one of my best friends, completely unbeknownst to me, also decided to look for someone on Yik Yak and met the same girl a bit later (I guess after she started to give up on me). Except here's the thing: my friend wasn't at the convention. He was at home (he lives in my home town). He just set his herd where the convention was so he could follow the shenanigans, and he has a hacked version of snapchat where he can use geofilters from wherever, so he decided to pretend he was there to screw around with her (my friend's kind of a jerk btw). Anyway, it was a nice coincidence because it got her off my tail.
Fast forward some time and we find out we're doing the same summer program (and it was a small program so we'd be seeing each other a lot). I felt bad and wanted to apologize to her about the whole situation at some point on the program. While on the program, I was talking to this other girl who I made friends with and I told her the story about what happened. She told me that she talked to the girl who was trying to get with me prior to the program.
At this point, she had set off a bunch of red flags during the program and every else grew to dislike her. I still kinda felt bad for accidentally leading her on and dealing with all that other stuff, but I am still glad that I really dodged a bullet there.
37. Abroad Is The Key To Your Heart
Four years ago my best friend was interning abroad and was often talking about not having a girlfriend. Once we were on the phone and I heard his roommate (a girl) asking him if he wanted to join her at the bar with another (girl) friend of hers. My best friend had already had pizza and beer and just wanted to stay home. I told him "If you're not going, I'm never talking to you anymore !", both of us obviously aware that that was an empty threat. He still went, met his roommate's friend and they dated for 3 months !
Then, two years ago, exactly the same situation. Internship abroad, no-girlfriend talk. I convinced him to install OkCupid and he met this girl once. He felt she was not "that" cute and didn't want to see her again. She asked him out for a second date, wanting to meet at the bar to dance. Same situation as before : already ate, already had a beer and I was on the phone with him when she asked. He didn't want to go but I spammed him with videos of the kind of dance they do in her country (bachata) and told him the exact same thing "If you're not going, I'm never talking to you anymore !". He reluctantly went, loved it and by the third date he was in love. They've been dating for the past two years now and just got engaged. They'll soon get married and I'm so proud and happy about it :')
It didn't work long term, but I took my buddies shoe, ran and gave it to the girl he had a crush on. I just ran up to her and said "hey can you hold this for me" She looked confused and said okay. He had to go and talk to her to get his shoe back and she was so confused as to why she had his shoes that it gave them a conversation starter which then led to them going on a few dates.
35. International Relations
I once managed it from the other side of the globe, which I was impressed by.
I had two friends. One from Girl Scout Camp, and the other from college, but we bonded over working summers at Girl Scout camps, and being queer.
So my college friend mentioned that she was doing graduate work in Dunedin. She told me in PMs that she was having a hard time meeting queer women in this new place.
It was the very town my camp friend lived in (I knew because I'd visited). I also knew she had a thing for American girls (I walked in on her making out with the lifeguard at camp and didn't out her, and she was dating a different American student when I visited. I had a huge crush on her, but never made a move because I never saw her single). I didn't know the current relationship status of the Kiwi friend, so I just told my college friend that I knew someone who could probably show her around. I then asked my Kiwi friend if she'd help my college friend figure out where to meet women. When they were both keen on the idea, I gave them the others contact info.
A month later I saw that they were in a relationship. I thought I did well from so far away.
I was the wingman for my older sister when I was in 8th grade. She had a crush on some guy in high school but was too shy to talk to. I asked her what his name was and she said his name was "bob". My sister overheard him talk about Ark: Survival Evolved on PS4, so I went to the nearest GameStop and bought Ark: Survival Evolved on my PS4. One day I shadowed her at her high school for a day and talked to him because he was 2 seats in front of my sister in their class. I asked what console he plays on, and he said PS4. I said I do to and asked for his username so I can friend him later.
The day comes and I set a little server for just me, my sister (we have to share) and him. Before I told him the password for the private server, I tweaked a bunch of things to be easier for my sister, who never played a game so hard. I turned Dinosaur Damage to 10%, and multiplied XP boost and gave my sister a tutorial.
He comes online and I give him the password and hand the controller to my sister. They had a great time and I heard from her that they talk a lot more now and are considering going on a date soon
33. Nerds Are In Now
This was maybe 10 years ago. A good friend of mine was having trouble in love. Typical nerd, had a nice place, job etc. but kept meeting girls that liked him up until they saw his shelves of video games, manga etc.
Me and another friend made a post for him on Craigslist without his knowledge. The post was honest. It explained the situation, listed his qualities both good and bad and had a few pictures.
We didn't pose AS him, we were honest about that too.
Got maybe 5 actual responses, we vetted that down to two that wanted to go on a date and then told him everything. He took it well and went on the dates. I was best man at him and girl #2's wedding, and they are still happily married.
They asked me not to mention Craigslist in my BM speech, it already had a fairly bad stigma and I just had no idea
32. Drugs Are Always A Good Negation
I mentioned this once, but I was an anti wing man.
My buddy wanted to go home with this girl he just met that was into him too, but he had a girlfriend and felt he should be faithful ( he should've broke up with her, it was complicated). He mentions I'm part of the package and I caught on with what he was doing and acknowledged it. She agreed.
Didn't expect that. I then say I'm not feeling it tonight. Buddy's is like oh no...I guess the plans are off. She pulls me over and shows me her friends, tells me to pick 2. That's just not me, but I stare for a bit and finally tell her, I'm still not feeling it. I then go into this semi depressed, its okay guys, you can go back together, I'll be okay. My friend is doing a no, I can't do that to my ______ bear. He's making a pouty face. All of this goes on for a bit.
She's getting frustrated, goes to the bathroom with her friends. My buddy refuses to ghost her, but wants an excuse to not go home with her. They come back and sit down. My time to shine. I get between them, put my arms on both of their shoulders. I ask, " do you ladies want to smoke some." They freak out and run off. Problem solved.
Ridiculous plan worked technically in both directions.
31. Eternal Gratitude
Andrew if you ever read this, Still can't thank you enough for this one.
I am the person that got the girl, and Andrew was the "wing" man for this. I had a big crush on a classmate back in freshman year, I kept hinting at her and talking to her about wanting to date her but she always refused me. Being down in the dumps, our mutual friend (wingman) kept pushing her away because she had a crush on him. So he told her why aren't you dating so and so? He has been working on dating you for over half a year now. He really wants to date you, you know that. She is Vietnamese and the whole reason why she wasn't dating me, was because of the whole date within race mindset from her parents. Strict Parents. She was afraid of her parents, and our friend just told her love has no boundaries or reason to be held back. Next day when I got her a valentines candy gram at school, she confessed to me and we dated for two years.
Thank you again Andrew if you read this.
30. Not So Eternal GratitudeGiphy
I don't think this counts but here we go.
I got told by my ex that his best friend liked my best friend. I told the best friend as a joke and she looked dead serious at me and said "really? That's amazing!"
So that's how I ended up having to spend a year hanging with my emotionally manipulative ex while our vest friends went out and did nothing but hug and talk.
We were 16.
Me and two friends were supposed to go to the gym, but I got lazy and decided to take them to a pool my ex worked at to visit her, then i took on him on the slides and i knew the girl working the slides, I thought id be funny and slide down so that he would have to wait up there and talk to her... I waited 15 minutes at the bottom of the slide only to walk back up to them laughing and talking. They have been together for almost a year now and they are beyond happy. Fun Fact Im known as Wingman god between all my friends.
28. I Just Wanted A Coke....
He was to afraid to ask her so I wrote a letter without him knowing and I tell her to go to the vending machine and I tell my bro to go there and I would catch up 2 minutes later they are making out.
Was chilling outside the club with the girl I had a crush on at that time. We were just talking and complaining about the bad music and stuff, when suddenly a random drunk guy came up to us and blurted "Now kiss her already". Worked out, we dated for a while.
Years later I found out, that my best friend actually 'hired' this dude for a beer to get us together.
26. How To Set Them Up
I wanted two of my friends to meet, so when friend A was moving I told her my buddy has a truck and we we would come help. Then I told her I couldn't make it for some reason but my friend was still willing to help. He helped her move that day and now they have been together for 10 years and married for 6.
25. Lazy Success
My roommate was planning on going to this big casino night charity thing the rec-league we played in was hosting. I couldn't go and he was texting me saying he was thinking of bailing rather than go alone. I texted a lady friend of mine and was like "aren't you going to this? Can my roommate tag along with you so he's not by himself?" I then texted them each other's phone numbers. They hooked up that night and dated for a couple months. I wing manned both of them without even leaving my couch. It was probably my finest wing man moment.
24. Makin' Eyes
I worked at a movie theater for a few years in high school/college. Most of us employees were aged 16-25ish and were a bunch of immature jerks having fun while working and getting into trouble together after work. In the same shopping center, there was a fast food restaurant that a school friend of mine worked. Us theater employees would regularly walk over to said restaurant for lunch.
One day, like many others, we were making inappropriate jokes while cleaning a theater after a showing, and one friend joked about how he hadn't gotten any in a while. I jokingly volunteered my fast food friend to assist my theater friend with his "problem". Later that day we wound up at the fast food place for our break and, lo and behold, fast food friend was working. Their eyes met over the register and that was it. They got married the summer after we graduated. Eleven years and one kid later, they are still together.
23. Mental Gymnastics
My best friend had confusing feelings about this guy (he liked her tho) so she set me up on a date with him, we went to the movies, they get together like the week after because she got jealous about the date and realized she actually really liked him. They've been together for over a year now. Also wingwoman I guess
22. Connection In An Isolating Age
I felt like they fit so without asking her, I sent her picture to him on snapchat with a caption "oh I miss my bff" he immediately asked who she was and I said my close friend and oh by the way she's from the same town as you so you probably know her? To which he answered no but what's her name? So I told him and then I was like you know what? Maybe you should meet! So I gave him her number after asking her.
They didn't end up with each other though. They're now both married to different people.
21. C. Profit
A. Make this guy ask out all the girls in the school out. Obviously get told no
B.Girl takes pity and asks him out
i don't know why it worked it just did
She was alone at the bar. A few friends and I were at a table having a few. One friend is getting over a breakup. We both need a new drink. I go up to the bar and order 3. Start talking to the girl. She seems nice. She's open to talking. And she's cute. Bartender brings back 3 beers. I wave my friend over. Hand her a beer. Hand him a beer. Get my beer "I think you two have a lot in common." and walk away. He got her number. They went on a date. It didn't work out cause he wasn't over his ex. But hey I tried.
19. Life Happening
My friend met a guy at my bachelorette party in a different city in 2002. They started dating immediately after. I got married, divorced 9 years later, was single for two years, dated a new guy for 4 years and married him two years ago. Those two are still together. And I'll be the first to admit I never thought they'd last. Good for them.
18. Now My Sister In Law
My first year in grad school there was a girl I thought would be perfect for my brother. So, I started joking with her that she was going to marry my brother. I sent around a picture of him one day when he was home from Iraq and she said he was cute. A few months later he was assigned to a base near her hometown. She went home to visit her parents and I sent them both an e-mail saying they should have coffee.
She married my brother.
17. We Will Never Know
One of my friends did this for his friend from home and I got to witness it first hand. A couple years ago in college, my friend invited me and a few other people to go to bars with him because he has a friend visiting. The friend's 21st was that weekend so he decided to wingman for the friend.
They both caught the attention of a cute blonde. Anyways, my friend eventually started making out with the girl but then 10 minutes later whispered something to the girl and the girl went to his friend and they apparently hooked up that night. My friends and I that tagged along were confused and shocked. If you ask him about it to this day, he doesn't remember because he was drunk and we will never learn about how that wingman technique worked.
16. Elaborate Lives
I walked up at our friends' wedding and started dancing with the girl that my roommate wanted to talk to. We danced for like 2 minutes and then I purposely cut myself out and redirected her to him instead. It was also an open bar, so at the time I was enough drinks in to assume it was a good idea. Low and behold, it was. They talked and got to know each other for about 2 weeks before realizing that their opposite life schedules wouldn't work out.
15. Sashay far away.
Pushed buddy into cute girl on dance floor, they got to talking, ended up married, kid, moved to England. Whole plan took like 3 seconds to come up with. Now I just miss my friend.
You literally pushed your friend out of your life... impressive, and a tad depressing.
14. Who needs to play then you've already won?
I invited some friends over to play Monopoly because I like to play Monopoly. It was the first time they met. They realized I was going to play the "all house no hotel" strategy so they strategized to gang up on me.
It's been 10 years and they're still together.
They still won't play monopoly with me.
That's how you know you've played monopoly correctly.
They scored the ultimate monopoly, life with each other.
13. Those were the days.
When I was in like 5th grade I walked up to a girl for my best friend said "hey my friend has a crush on you" started giggling and ran away they "dated" for a year.
I feel like it swings back around to this the older you get. If you're the single friend, you tend to get introduced to the other single friend at backyard bbqs. We all know why they were both invited.
12. Taking the initiative, eh?
I told my bro that I was going to hook him up with someone in a blind date. He agreed.
I knew he had a crush on a girl already, so I went and straight up told her:
"Hey, so I told my best friend (name) I was going to set him up with a blind date, and I already knew he's got a slight thing for you. Would you be interested? I haven't told him I knew he's a little into you so it's a bit of a secret."
"Yeah, I'm in," she replied.
And that's how I hooked them up in a "blind date".
Stupid, because I lied, I didn't actually have any sort of plan at all, I made it up as I went. Two, because I had already spilled the beans about my friend by the time I realized this was a dangerous game. In fairness, he didn't tell me he liked her, I inferred it by myself. So I don't feel like I betrayed any trust there.
Not the craziest story, I know, but it's what I've got.
EDIT: Sorry! Forgot the important bit. Figured it was implied by OPs request. They got together for a while before mutually breaking it off. It was a good break up, they just weren't right for each other.
11. This was a lot of work.
My best friend at the time said that I would make a good couple with one of my friends. Just to tease her, I started joking around that she had liked that same friend.
I very casually asked my friend if he liked her, to which he responded in a very unorganized and panicked manner, telling me that he was interested. I relayed this information over to my best friend, who was equally flustered and panicked. I continued relaying information between the two of them and over the course of 3 weeks, I had peer pressured these two people to get to know each other. They were in a "getting to know each other" phase for a month or two before dating officially.
Unfortunately, they lasted exactly one month and don't talk to each other anymore.
10. The straights are not okay.
On my best friends' first date with the girl I set him up with, they made out a few times. Later that day she called me and said that she doesn't want to see him any more because his breath was absolutely terrible. I told her that he said the same thing about her breath (a total lie) and that she should be nicer and give him another chance. Now they've been together for 11 months.
9. The duty was done, dutifully.
There was a girl I really liked and I thought she liked me too, but my best friend was having a really rough year and always talked about her so I decided to be the bigger man. Standing outside a party wasted on Halloween I convinced them to eat a Fruit by the Foot from either end like Lady and the Tramp. When they got to the middle I yelled kiss and they did. They ended up going on a couple dates but he blew it and now she hates me too.
Very adorable human behavior. 10/10 wingman.
8. This is how you do it.
Writing this to commend my friend for being a wingman for me but I was at a party this year with the express intent of finally talking to the girl I liked back in high school before we all graduated in 2018.
Kept holding off on approaching her and striking up a conversation so my friend went up to her and pretty much said "hey my friend basically hates everyone but he really likes you and he really wants to talk to you but hes too much of a b to approach you, could you please talk to him and just see how things go."
So she came up to me and we started talking and things went well.
We've now been dating for a month and things have been great.
7. Wingmaning by proxy.
i was a stranger's wingman. Got the job done for him and I don't even know his name.
I have a female friend who messaged me that the most embarrassing thing had happened to her. She has an "open house." Any of her friends may walk in at any time if they need anything. One of her friends walked in while she was pleasing herself. Not just a little bit, but full on.
But also turned on. She had been going through a months long dry spell, and the guy was very attractive. He came in because he needed somewhere to stay for the weekend. I think they were fumigating his house? I'm not sure, it's been years.
So there she is, hours later, kids are in bed and she's watching a movie with this guy, when she messages me again. She wants to sleep with him, but he hasn't made a move. She's from a family where the woman never makes the first move, she hasn't even considered the possibility. I not only talk her into it, but I talk her through it. It takes an hour, most of which was building up her confidence enough to just do it. She said it was great sex. She thanked me for helping her out.
The next day I tell a different friend that I had done this. He looks thoughtful for a minute, and he says "Ya know, I wonder how many times a girl wanted to sleep with me me but no one was there to talk me through it."
6. Extreme but effective.
I pretended to be a gay boyfriend to my "bi" friend so he could get closer to her. We "broke up" and they got together.
Yeah, he was my homie.
5. Getting schwifty.
To preface this, I'm a fairly big guy, gentle giant type, not so gentle when drunk. I was drinking with my gf at the time and our mutual friend at a club. Mutual Friend spotted a guy dancing with his mates and told me she thought he was cute. I was fairly inebriated and thought it would be a great idea to dance into his friend circle, dance/hipthrust him out of said circle, and forcibly dance him into the arms of Mutual Friend.
They dated for 4 years after that so it was a success but probably wouldn't recommend that tactic.
4. What a bro.
Wingman recipient here.
My best buddy knew I wanted this girl but I didn't know how to pull the trigger. This girl was gorgeous. He was outgoing and good friends with this girl. He also knew she was into me. The three of us were wasted at a party at her house. He told us to come upstairs to her room. In her room he said we were gonna play a game and all strip down to our underwear.
By the time she and I were down to our undies, he was fully clothed still, gave me a butt smack and closed the door as he left the room.....
closed the deal, twice.....
Never forgot it.
Lol. His plan was simply "get them naked."
3. She's a mess.
My college roommate was heavily flirting with this one guy from our dorm. He hadn't officially asked her out, but it was pretty clear he wanted to. And that Roommate had a huuuuge crush on him.
Problem was, there was another guy who'd been hitting on her. He was creepy (I don't mean that in the "ew, he wasn't hot" way- he'd get overly sexual and physically aggressive at frat parties to the point where multiple frats banned him). Roommate didn't like him, but kept talking to him because she had weird emotional issues about saying "no" to people and blowing them off.
So she wasn't making it clear which guy she liked, they were kinda fighting over her, and the whole thing came to a head right before they were gonna leave for a frat party. Creeper demanded she pick who she was "going" to the party with.
I half shouted, "Well she HAS to pick [Roommate's Crush.] She owes him for teaching her pool today."
Roommate's Crush jumped on that, claimed his "right" to take Roommate to the party, and they were officially dating by the end of the night.
How does it end?
Like, over Valentine's Day, our dorm had this thing where they put hearts on our doors so everybody could anonymously write nice things about one another. She counted the number of nice things on everybody's heart, averaged them, and had a meltdown when she got one less compliment than the floor average. I came back from class and found her curled up in a ball, SOBBING, in her closet. Took me two hours to calm her down, and I only managed it by convincing her that her friends were procrastinators and hadn't gotten around to doing the hearts yet. (That night, I snuck out of the room at 2 am with a bunch of different pens and wrote random nice things on her heart, and several other people's because if I just wrote on her's she'd have figured out it was me and had another meltdown about being "pitied.")
I can't imagine what dating that mess was like.
2. Sometimes roommates know best.
So I'm the one who got coupled up, but here it is. For about 4 months my roommate would invite this girl over to watch trash movies together, once a week. I had no intention with getting together with her cus she is 2 years older and obviously out of my league. It worked because he didn't tell me that this was his plan, because otherwise I would definitely have messed it up. Once we started dating he came up to me and spilled the beans, and said "I was close to losing all hope with you, finally."
1. Be who you are, and accept nothing less.
Oh I actually have one! I have a friend with a medical condition called Alopecia, which makes the person lose all the hair on their body. She suffered from depression and really low self esteem because of this, and always wore a wig.
So we were at a party 10 years ago, and she saw this guy that she found very interesting. I told her to go talk to him, but she didn't dare to. So I asked her to come with me to the bathroom, and when we passed the guy I gave her a small push so she kinda fell into him. Well, they spent the rest of the night talking and started dating.
Then one day about two weeks later she called me crying saying she really liked this guy, but she was so afraid of him finding out she didn't have any hair and wore a wig. I told her to go tell him, and if he didn't accept that part of her, he didn't deserve the rest of her.
She called me that evening saying she told him and that they were now boyfriend and girlfriend. Today, ten years later they are happily married and expecting their second baby :')
Some of our possessions are no-brainer, have to have them, best things in the universe. Others are total beaters, through and through liabilities, that should have been trashed years ago.
But what about those possessions that fall right in between?
These are the things we love as much as we hate. Like some people or places in our lives, these objects and us have a love/hate relationship--and, surprisingly, almost as much baggage as the human version includes.
Some Redditors sat down and shared their best examples of these kinds of possessions.
lliorca336 asked, "What do you have a love / hate relationship with?"
Some set their sights on the elephant in the room. They described their excitement as well as all the issues that come with the expansive, unbelievably powerful internet.
The Whole Dang Thing
"The internet." -- LM1120
"Yup. On one side, it can really help people who feel alone. However, it can also breed toxicity." -- RHCube
"Back down it was as simple as don't use it but thats not really possible anymore" -- Derpsterio29
Even More Whole
"Technology in general."
"On the one hand, it's nice that I was able to deposit a check just now while sitting down on my bedroom. On the other, screw anyone who has the audacity to call me and greet me with a robot."
"I have it with none other than 'Google.' "
"I hate it when Google tracks my every move. I even feel scared sometimes. Like just the other day, I was watching 'Padmavat' on Amazon Prime. It wasn't even my account, but my husband's. We had to stop in the middle due to something."
"And as soon as I opened my Gmail next, the very first email on the top was a 'Spam' email asking me if I missed out on watching 'Padmawat?' Really Scary!"
"And then, I love it when it takes me down the memory lane. Like just today, my Google Photos app asked me if I would like to see where I was on this day in 2010? I thought why not. Turns out, I was at my friend's wedding. Which reminded me, 'Oh! It's her anniversary today!' "
"I simply sent one of her gorgeous pics wishing her happy anniversary. We had a long chat, after which I sent over all of the pics from that day. She was really happy to re-visit them and tagged them as the best anniversary gift!"
Others chose to discuss those necessities of day-to-day life that they've actually come to love completing over and over.
But that doesn't mean they don't get annoying all the time too.
"That weird thing where I'll waste time before entering the shower because it feels like such a chore that takes a long time, I'm gonna need 5 h to dry my hair afterwards etc., but then when I'm in the shower i never wanna get out."
Cruising, Until Your Not
"Driving is my biggest love/ hate relationship. I absolutely love the feel of driving when there's a small amount/ no traffic and the feel of being able to go wherever you want in your country is so freeing. Start/stop traffic, car maintenance costs, insurance, monthly payments, terrible roads, the possibility of an accident, driving through new places without clear signage etc..."
"Man, driving at its best is one of my favourite things in life but at its worst I wonder why I ever got my license and look toward busses with jealousy."
It Will Never End
"Cooking. I hate the necessity of having to prepare food and the process itself, but I usually like the result, and if I cook for other people, I get many compliments for how it's good."
"You know, when I hate to do that, then at least it gotta be tasty."
Others spoke about the luxuries in life. It almost feels absurd to complain about such wonderful, unnecessary possessions.
And yet, they are luxuries with a slight catch.
The Nut Barrier
"Probably my biggest trigger to ruin my diet. Doesn't even have to be good chocolate. Doesn't even have to be mediocre chocolate (by American standards). I'm talking about, like Palmer's Double Crisp super-cheap, probably-not-even-actually-chocolate Chocolate."
"My only saving grace is that I'm allergic to peanuts, and a lot of the really really cheap chocolate has peanuts/peanut butter in it, so it's no longer a temptation."
More and More
"Having a home gym:"
"Love: Not having to go far and not having to deal with other ppl and their bs."
"Hate: Everything you want is much more expensive than you expect... and you keep wanting more"
Another Take on Tech
"Modern technology. For every way it makes our lives easier, there's at least five ways it makes things harder."
"But overall, it's generally worth it... if you can get the stuff to finally work, which might take you all day."
So the next time you find yourself out of wits in frustration, only to come back to that same object or task the very next day, don't feel so alone.
Everyone out here is emotionally confused about their inanimate objects and abstract concepts.
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We live in an era defined, amongst other things, by the unparalleled barrage of content that blasts our eyes and ears throughout every hour of every single day.
Truly, it's exhausting to be alive in the contemporary media landscape.
Generations before had to deal with posters, billboards, and magazine advertisements, then radio commercials after that, and then TV commercials came along.
We thought the consumer seduction reached its peak with those.
But then, lo and behold, social media came about. And now the "information" peddled by brands and advertisers is everywhere. And so so much of it is misleading, or flat out incorrect.
Some Redditors shared the examples that came to mind.
Many people chose to talk about the marketing efforts used to push health and nutrition products onto consumers.
It's no surprise that there were so many examples to choose from. People in contemporary times are obsessed with health, fitness, diet, and longevity.
So of course, marketers have taken some liberties.
"That things with 'zero sugar' can still have 0.2 grams of sugar per unit which is why tic tacs claim to be zero sugar but can still be dangerous for a diabetic person" -- Whynotgarlicbagel
"Always check the ingredients"
"I found some 'no added sugar' ice cream that had concentrated caramelised sugar syrup as a flavoring"
"Also no added sugar just means they haven't added any sugar. Not that it's zero sugar" -- EmergencyAdvance
The Natural World
" 'Natural' food isn't your definition of natural." -- Gmax100
"Cyanide is natural" -- Izwe
"Everything is natural, nuclear power plants are as natural as beaver dams" -- Skylake52
The Anti-Fat Movement
"Low fat is good for you. Well not just clever marketing, also lots of lobbying from the sugar industry" -- UltimateAnswer42
"That's a big one. Fat being the 'bad' macronutrient was something that took me a while to unlearn. I felt my healthiest when I ate a high fat, lower carb (50g or so) diet." -- Cameron213
Give Tators a Chance
"White potatoes are somehow unhealthy even though they are a very nutritious starchy root VEGETABLE."
"Just because when you smother oil and ranch on it it becomes unhealthy does not mean potatoes themselves are unhealthy."
Leave It Alone
"Vaginal odor being bad was a thing for a while, and that it could easily be corrected with over the counter treatments such as douching."
"First of all. A vagina is gonna smell like a vagina, not like flowers. If you're concerned about the way your vagina smells you should see a doctor."
"Second of all, the vagina is self-cleaning and doesn't need extra soaps to help keep it 'fresh.' In fact, those soaps and chemicals can cause harm and create real infections."
Other people chose to point out the marketing efforts that have aimed to influence our expectations of culture and the social playing field.
What is "cool" and acceptable is what sells. The question is, who decides what is "cool?"
"Makeup as a necessary norm." -- b2lose
"Man, FU** makeup! I don't wear it and have yet to have anyone I work with question my professionalism for it. I hate it, it's expensive, and I won't wear it." -- TheRedMaiden
"I love this, and I'll also throw in: shaving as a necessity. I've had so many people tell me it's 'unhygienic' for women to have leg hair." -- buriedclementines
"That teenagers are cool, tbh. Teen culture is 95% manufactured by suits trying to make a buck." -- crookedhope
"When have teenagers ever been cool to anyone but themselves?" -- troomer50
"right? this kills me as an adult. all the cool teenager sh** that 'parents don't understand' was absolutely designed by grown a** dorks just like their parents." -- likearealreptile
Passing the Buck
"The notion that climate change needs to be combated by individuals making changes in their day to day lives by buying green products. Corporations, global shipping, and factory farms all contribute massive amounts of pollution and greenhouse gasses that can't be offset by using less straws or buying a hybrid car."
"An entire city's worth of individuals couldn't even come close to offsetting the pollution created by a handful of ships used for global shipping, yet advertising would have you think that individuals could replace real systemic change and regulation."
And then there was one total, bald-faced lie. It had to do with an upsettingly common purchase that comes with an arbitrarily high price tag.
Maybe it's time to rethink it.
Pulling the Strings of Supply and Demand
"That diamonds are rare." -- icecreamterror
"That you should spend so much on a diamond and wedding, but can barely scrape by. Sure, let's throw a $30k banquet then go jumpstart the car again to get home." -- Choontz
"Futhermore on this; that 'cognac' diamonds are a desirable colour in a diamond, and are worth more than colourless. Jewellers originally struggled to sell stones of this colour so came up with a marketing concept to make them seem more unique, more special, and just as desirable as, or moreso than, colourless diamonds (which are generally far rarer, particularly if they are classified as flawless with few/imperceptible inclusions)."
"Similar idea with "champagne" diamonds...they were given this name to make them sound more appealing, too, so jewellers could still use them and increase the volume of jewellery they produce and sell." -- teenytinytinkerer
Of course, this list is so far from exhaustive. Pay attention for just the next few hours and I'm sure you'll come up with your own list of at least ten in no time.
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In the age of the internet, sometimes it can be very cool to hate on things just because other people do. Bandwagons can be fun, right? But honestly, not all of the things hated on actually deserve it. Save your hate for things that actually call for it.
Wanna jump off the bandwagon? Then keep reading!
Film and media are probably the biggest contender for being hated on randomly. It may seem harmless, but not always deserved.
Actors are people too!
Actors who played characters that people didn't like.
Really if you hated the character then the actor did a good job (assuming that was the role).
The best cartoons.nice day summer GIF by PBS KIDSGiphy
Child cartoons. Some are actually really good, even as an adult.
I feel like watching cartoons aimed at generally a younger audience allows for you to be reminded of some life lessons, I know I forget some things, or didn't realise others, or it at least partially renews my awareness of something I should still like or appreciate
This doesn't deserve awards, it's just my opinion that is apparently shared by many.
This man did nothing wrong.
Guy Fieri, he literally is the nicest person in the world but since he looks like he was electrocuted by mountain dew people want to saw his head off.
Even before that, I was witness to his other charitable work. A few years back, Santa Rosa was hit by some terrible fires and he showed up at a few shelters and personally cooked up and served some killer buffet food. No cameras, no massive team of PR, just a dude with an assistant to keep him on schedule to hit up other shelters in the area. Guy Fieri legit earned a lot of respect in my book for that.
You know who DEFINITELY doesn’t deserve hate? Animals. They’re just living their best lives, and need to be left alone.
The best cats.
We got a black cat for the first time last year. I've since formulated the theory that black cats might get some of their reputation from the fact that people can't see them well in the dark and so they seemingly appear out of nowhere and they might be instinctually cautious because they know people have a tendency to kick them while walking in the dark. Our black cat is the sweetest cat I've ever known.
They get a bad rep.Discovery Sharks GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
Sharks. They are beautiful, complex creatures, deserving of respect and, like any wild animal should be left alone in their natural habitat, but they get this reputation as vicious bloodthirsty monsters. This is only because every shark attack is news, and only then because they are so rare. More people are killed EVERY DAY by mosquitoes than sharks kill in a year.
Any apex predator that has remained evolutionarily unchanged for hundreds of millions of years, whose existance predates TREES, is deserving or our respect and admiration. Shine on, you crazy cartlaginous fish, shine on.
So cute too!
Opossums. They're neat little critters. They eat tons of ticks that carry Lyme disease, (mostly) don't carry rabies because their body temp is too low, and they're the only marsupial native to North America! They get a bad rap because their first defense is to hiss and bare teeth, but failing that, they just play dead.
If you don't have the predisposition to hate them, you'll find they're pretty cute too.
E: this is about /opossums/, the north American species.
Kiwis, I feel for you, but this comment isn't about your possums.
Hating on other people for just living their lives also seems to be a big contender for things that don’t deserve to be hated on.
This is so true.
Unemployed people. A lot of people genuinely are looking for work and did not want to lose their last job/it was beyond their control (like a layoff) but they get so much hate and called lazy by most people. I know too many unemployed people that are actually really trying hard. They definitely aren't lazy. (Not saying lazy unemployed people don't exist, but to be fair, so do lazy employed people too lol)
Leave the weather man alone!Fox Raining GIF by Family GuyGiphy
Meteorologists. They try their best to predict the weather based on patterns, models, and data. They're not perfect because predicting the weather is insanely difficult. When they get it wrong, I think we should go easy on them. It was probably an outlier result almost no one could have foreseen.
I've seen people get angry over the meteorologists for getting it right. Like they control the weather - it is their fault we are having rain, that kind of BS. Never made sense to me, but hey, I have plenty of relatives I clashed with growing up.
Please stop being d*cks to these people.
Customer service associates.
I hate when customers think that I, the minimum wage person forced to sit there and listen to them yell, am personally responsible for every policy they disagree with. Like, ma'am, if I had that much power and influence, I wouldn't be sitting here on a Saturday evening serving you.
Wholesome and necessary.
People don't deserve hate they give themselves when they are not doing too good at the moment.
If you haven't heard it from anyone else today, I'm proud of you.
It seems like people hate on things simply because they think they're meant to hate them. But you can always be the change and make an effort to stop being an a**hole about certain things.
No matter what though, sometimes haters gonna hate
Money means different things to different people.
Reddit user, u/TopTierUsername101, wanted to hear what you would do when they asked:
Just Get The Basics Out Of The Way
There's the standard responses, where people ran down the list of the essentials they could get out of the way.
Making The Unmanageable Manageable
Could pay off all debt and put a very nice down payment on a house.
Would make the mortgage manageable.
Give All The Money To The Kids
insanely.. i'm 19 and i'd be able to pay for university, pay for my car and help my parents who are on the streets rn get back on their feet and get my siblings out of foster care
You're the person I'd want to get the 100K. I don't need it; tons of people on this thread don't need it, but you my friend sound like you could use it for good.
Allowing You To Focus On Other Things
5-6 years of rent while i get my Ph.D sounds pretty fantastic
I hear this. I'm about to move with my partner so they can continue their education and would love to have $100k to live off of while I find work.
Wouldn't Go As Far As You Think
Then there's those other people who wouldn't be greatly affected by $100k, instead saying it would continue to help them comfortably move forward. Who doesn't like to be comfortable?
It would be almost enough for a downpayment on a house for us in our area. Housing is crazy expensive.
It would be less than half of a downpayment on an avg house in my area. This is basically keeping my generation from owning property and it's terrifying.
(avg. House here is about 1.2million)
A Slow Burn
Immediately? Not much at all. I'd pay off all my debt, take a chunk out of the house Im about to sign on. The monthly savings however would really allow me to change my life though.
Same here. A lot would change on paper, but the real effects wouldn't be apparent for several years.
This, also the peace of mind that would come along with it would be the most significant Change
Preparing For The Future
Just more money for retirement. That's all, business as usual.
Same. I mean, I'd say I'd spend some and go on vacation, but my vacations are typically camping somewhere cool and then hiking, so it's pretty frugal as far as vacations go. I'd like think that I could retire a little earlier if I had an extra 100 grand thrown at me, though.
Making A Huge Impact
Finally, there's those people who would do quite a bit if you were gifted $100k. This runs the length of saving lives to crafting a livable future.
Eliminating That Feeling
I'd be able to afford my own apartment instead of living with 3 ppl. I'd be able to focus more on building my life instead of just trying to survive every day. I'd be able to donate to charities and less fortunate ppl in my area.
Overall it would make my life less stressful and make me feel like less of a failure.
America Isn't Very Good Sometimes
Dude, that's almost 7 years worth of insulin. Can you imagine not having to wonder how you were going to manage your life threatening disease for 7, well technically 6.9, years? God, I could actually put money toward my future rather than trying desperately to stay alive in the present.
If the current rate of inflation continues, and if I am lucky enough to live until 75, I will have spent over 7 million dollars on insulin alone, not including other absurdly expensive diabetic supplies, like test strips, that are absolutely necessary for my survival.
Just for some context, each test strip, without insurance, runs you around 1.50 ($75 for a 50 pack of strips) and as someone who leads an active lifestyle and is insulin sensitive, I need to check my blood sugar roughly 6-8 times a day, more if I'm sick or an unforeseen event occurs that affects my blood glucose levels.
It's f-cking criminal what my country is allowing to happen to type one diabetics like myself.
Money Can't Buy Happiness, Until It Does
It would: pay off my husband's student loans and some medical bills that he has left, pay off my dental bill, pay off our credit cards, and then maybe we could get some upkeep/fixit stuff done around the house. The rest would go into savings. We'd have a good amount of money freed up each month, and that would also go into savings.
So, really, $100k would change my life by finally giving me a decent savings account that could be used in the future to hopefully avoid debt. It would be a very nice thing to have.
Dan Price, the CEO of Gravity Payments who became famous when he cut his 1.1 million dollar salary to ensure every one of his employees received a $70k a year salary, probably said it best when he noted, "Money buys happiness when you climb out of poverty. But going from well-off to very well-off won't make you happier. Doing what you believe is right will."
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