Being a wingman or wingwoman or wingPERSON (it's 2019) is a sacred role that only the most worthy can fulfill. It requires thinking outside the box, even stooping to levels you'd never expect. But it's worth it for helping your friends find happiness, and of course, for the stories.
Dalk126 asked wingmen of Reddit: What was the most stupid plan you made to get two people together, that actually worked?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
50. It's All For The BestGiphy
Dated a girl that liked me. We eventually grew apart but just before we broke up i recommended she date my friend who i knew liked her after i mentioned she doesn't like me anymore as a joke. She actually asked him out to get to know him, and they've been dating for a while now
49. Makin' Atmosphere
Over the summer, I was at a bar with a group of my friends. There was a man there that my friend had been eyeing all summer, but she was too scared to make a move. Very drunk me promised her that if she could just start a conversation, I'd take care of the rest.
So once they started talking... I convinced every single other person at the bar to go to the outside section instead. I talked to more strangers that night than I ever had before, convincing all of them to leave the bar for a while. I must have talked 20 or 25 people total into leaving the bar to go outside.
Bonus: once they were all outside, I hung out around the door so people wouldn't be tempted to wander back inside. If I remember right, everyone had a pretty good sense of humor about the whole thing, and it was successful - he kissed her!
48. Conflicted Feelings
I tried messing with my younger cousin: took her Ipad then wrote something ambigious like "I always wanted to tell you that..." to the first boy I saw as she was embarassed and tried to steal it back.
Apparently it triggered confession from him and she was mad at me for doing it while happily hopping around. I guess worth it.
47. Stage 4 Clinging
My friend wanted to get together with her crush, he had a crush on her. Her crush and I had a huge conversation in roblox about it and they became more than friends. He became really clingy and they broke up.
46. A Time Before Gay
Wingwoman, not wingman, but still.
Guy I am friends with wants to date a girl I am also friends with. One time they happened to be standing behind one another (facing away from each other). I ran in, tapped their shoulders, so it seemed like they tapped each other's shoulder, and skirted out of there. They ended up dating for 7 years before the girl came out as lesbian. Good times
45. A Burger Of A Time
Not exactly a wingman but I was asked by a friend if he should ask a girl out and asked me how, of all people he asked me... Well any way I sort of knew the girl from college and happened to remember how she loves a good quality burger so I suggested asking if she wanted to go for a nice burger and it worked. They have been together for maybe 7 months or so now.
44. Even When You Try Not Ruining The Moment
My best friend liked this guy. So I started playing wingman for them. He texted me saying we should get a group to hang out. He came up with the whole plan but I had to take credit. I then asked my best friend if she would be up for a mall trip with the group. She told me good luck getting the guy she liked to go (little did she know he came up with the plan) at the mall we were walking around. He went up to ask her out and I decided to run away to not ruin the moment. I ended up knocking down an entire display shelf at the store and ruined the moment. But hey in the end they are still together!
43. Happily Ever After
I had a single colleague, my girlfriend had a single friend (female), we dropped them in a group msn chat and me and my gf left immediately.
They are together for 10 years and have two kids.
42. Years Down The Line
My GF (now fiance) and I had a special relationship with her best friend. My best friend tells me he's had a crush on her best friend, and was trying to figure out how to ask her to prom. After making sure he was cool with our 'history', I told him just to ask her.
He then proceeds to ask her what she would like for a promposal, then sneakily does those exact things while she isn't looking. Homemade cards, messing with slides on the teacher's presentations, and a few others. She of course said yes, and he just asked me about a week ago to be their best man.
41. Amicable Divorce
In the midst of divorce, I was talking with the soon to be ex about my best friend. Ended up giving him her number, and gave her his, and now they've been dating for 7 months and things are serious.
I miss seeing my best friend all the time, but at least I know if things continue to get serious my kids will have an awesome step mom.
40. Secondhand SerenadeGiphy
This is the story about how my friend wingman'd me once. I was in a foreign country on my birthday and decided to go to a bar with my friend and some people from the hostel. The bartender there was pretty cute and one of the guys from our group successfully convinced him that, in our strange made-up country, it was custom to kiss the birthday person. I got a kiss on each cheek from the bartender and a serenade later thanks to my friend (no idea how she did that, though).
39. The Same Goals
Wingwomen here, my friend wanted to get together with one of my friends and didn't know how to, so I told him to just go ask her.
The stupid part was that my friend he wanted to ask out was about to ask him out.
38. Yikkity Yakkity
So kinda the opposite, because my friends were being anti-wingmen for me, but it's still a good story.
I was very involved in my youth group and so I went to this big international convention. This girl from across the country who I was originally supposed to get with there dumped me (to be fair I was being really awkward). Anyway, I became super depressed (at the time seeing her was the one thing I had going for me because other stuff had also been going on, although in hindsight she wasn't nearly as amazing as I made her out to be at the time).
Anyway, at this time Yik Yak was still a thing, and now you could meet and dm people through Yik Yak because they added handles. I decided to try this and met a girl. She sent a picture over Yik Yak to show me what she looked like. The picture didn't make her look as unattractive as she really was, and my standards had significantly dropped, so I was down to meet her up the last night of the convention. We tried to meet up a couple times but couldn't find each other, but she was still trying.
Anyway, I kinda came to my senses and realized I didn't wanna get with this girl, so then the following happened:
First, this girl I was friends with who used to have a crush on me prior to the time of the convention (I never liked her back like that) was kinda friendly with this girl who was trying to get with me, and when my friend heard her mention me by name, she told our mutual friend who also knew this girl trying to get with me. He just stalled her, and then after some time said "no!" and jokingly tackled her (he was a small guy and it wasn't like a real violent assault). The thing is this mutual friend was someone who I previously had some issues with, and after I found out about what he did I came to appreciate him more.
Second, one of my best friends, completely unbeknownst to me, also decided to look for someone on Yik Yak and met the same girl a bit later (I guess after she started to give up on me). Except here's the thing: my friend wasn't at the convention. He was at home (he lives in my home town). He just set his herd where the convention was so he could follow the shenanigans, and he has a hacked version of snapchat where he can use geofilters from wherever, so he decided to pretend he was there to screw around with her (my friend's kind of a jerk btw). Anyway, it was a nice coincidence because it got her off my tail.
Fast forward some time and we find out we're doing the same summer program (and it was a small program so we'd be seeing each other a lot). I felt bad and wanted to apologize to her about the whole situation at some point on the program. While on the program, I was talking to this other girl who I made friends with and I told her the story about what happened. She told me that she talked to the girl who was trying to get with me prior to the program.
At this point, she had set off a bunch of red flags during the program and every else grew to dislike her. I still kinda felt bad for accidentally leading her on and dealing with all that other stuff, but I am still glad that I really dodged a bullet there.
37. Abroad Is The Key To Your Heart
Four years ago my best friend was interning abroad and was often talking about not having a girlfriend. Once we were on the phone and I heard his roommate (a girl) asking him if he wanted to join her at the bar with another (girl) friend of hers. My best friend had already had pizza and beer and just wanted to stay home. I told him "If you're not going, I'm never talking to you anymore !", both of us obviously aware that that was an empty threat. He still went, met his roommate's friend and they dated for 3 months !
Then, two years ago, exactly the same situation. Internship abroad, no-girlfriend talk. I convinced him to install OkCupid and he met this girl once. He felt she was not "that" cute and didn't want to see her again. She asked him out for a second date, wanting to meet at the bar to dance. Same situation as before : already ate, already had a beer and I was on the phone with him when she asked. He didn't want to go but I spammed him with videos of the kind of dance they do in her country (bachata) and told him the exact same thing "If you're not going, I'm never talking to you anymore !". He reluctantly went, loved it and by the third date he was in love. They've been dating for the past two years now and just got engaged. They'll soon get married and I'm so proud and happy about it :')
It didn't work long term, but I took my buddies shoe, ran and gave it to the girl he had a crush on. I just ran up to her and said "hey can you hold this for me" She looked confused and said okay. He had to go and talk to her to get his shoe back and she was so confused as to why she had his shoes that it gave them a conversation starter which then led to them going on a few dates.
35. International Relations
I once managed it from the other side of the globe, which I was impressed by.
I had two friends. One from Girl Scout Camp, and the other from college, but we bonded over working summers at Girl Scout camps, and being queer.
So my college friend mentioned that she was doing graduate work in Dunedin. She told me in PMs that she was having a hard time meeting queer women in this new place.
It was the very town my camp friend lived in (I knew because I'd visited). I also knew she had a thing for American girls (I walked in on her making out with the lifeguard at camp and didn't out her, and she was dating a different American student when I visited. I had a huge crush on her, but never made a move because I never saw her single). I didn't know the current relationship status of the Kiwi friend, so I just told my college friend that I knew someone who could probably show her around. I then asked my Kiwi friend if she'd help my college friend figure out where to meet women. When they were both keen on the idea, I gave them the others contact info.
A month later I saw that they were in a relationship. I thought I did well from so far away.
I was the wingman for my older sister when I was in 8th grade. She had a crush on some guy in high school but was too shy to talk to. I asked her what his name was and she said his name was "bob". My sister overheard him talk about Ark: Survival Evolved on PS4, so I went to the nearest GameStop and bought Ark: Survival Evolved on my PS4. One day I shadowed her at her high school for a day and talked to him because he was 2 seats in front of my sister in their class. I asked what console he plays on, and he said PS4. I said I do to and asked for his username so I can friend him later.
The day comes and I set a little server for just me, my sister (we have to share) and him. Before I told him the password for the private server, I tweaked a bunch of things to be easier for my sister, who never played a game so hard. I turned Dinosaur Damage to 10%, and multiplied XP boost and gave my sister a tutorial.
He comes online and I give him the password and hand the controller to my sister. They had a great time and I heard from her that they talk a lot more now and are considering going on a date soon
33. Nerds Are In Now
This was maybe 10 years ago. A good friend of mine was having trouble in love. Typical nerd, had a nice place, job etc. but kept meeting girls that liked him up until they saw his shelves of video games, manga etc.
Me and another friend made a post for him on Craigslist without his knowledge. The post was honest. It explained the situation, listed his qualities both good and bad and had a few pictures.
We didn't pose AS him, we were honest about that too.
Got maybe 5 actual responses, we vetted that down to two that wanted to go on a date and then told him everything. He took it well and went on the dates. I was best man at him and girl #2's wedding, and they are still happily married.
They asked me not to mention Craigslist in my BM speech, it already had a fairly bad stigma and I just had no idea
32. Drugs Are Always A Good Negation
I mentioned this once, but I was an anti wing man.
My buddy wanted to go home with this girl he just met that was into him too, but he had a girlfriend and felt he should be faithful ( he should've broke up with her, it was complicated). He mentions I'm part of the package and I caught on with what he was doing and acknowledged it. She agreed.
Didn't expect that. I then say I'm not feeling it tonight. Buddy's is like oh no...I guess the plans are off. She pulls me over and shows me her friends, tells me to pick 2. That's just not me, but I stare for a bit and finally tell her, I'm still not feeling it. I then go into this semi depressed, its okay guys, you can go back together, I'll be okay. My friend is doing a no, I can't do that to my ______ bear. He's making a pouty face. All of this goes on for a bit.
She's getting frustrated, goes to the bathroom with her friends. My buddy refuses to ghost her, but wants an excuse to not go home with her. They come back and sit down. My time to shine. I get between them, put my arms on both of their shoulders. I ask, " do you ladies want to smoke some." They freak out and run off. Problem solved.
Ridiculous plan worked technically in both directions.
31. Eternal Gratitude
Andrew if you ever read this, Still can't thank you enough for this one.
I am the person that got the girl, and Andrew was the "wing" man for this. I had a big crush on a classmate back in freshman year, I kept hinting at her and talking to her about wanting to date her but she always refused me. Being down in the dumps, our mutual friend (wingman) kept pushing her away because she had a crush on him. So he told her why aren't you dating so and so? He has been working on dating you for over half a year now. He really wants to date you, you know that. She is Vietnamese and the whole reason why she wasn't dating me, was because of the whole date within race mindset from her parents. Strict Parents. She was afraid of her parents, and our friend just told her love has no boundaries or reason to be held back. Next day when I got her a valentines candy gram at school, she confessed to me and we dated for two years.
Thank you again Andrew if you read this.
30. Not So Eternal GratitudeGiphy
I don't think this counts but here we go.
I got told by my ex that his best friend liked my best friend. I told the best friend as a joke and she looked dead serious at me and said "really? That's amazing!"
So that's how I ended up having to spend a year hanging with my emotionally manipulative ex while our vest friends went out and did nothing but hug and talk.
We were 16.
Me and two friends were supposed to go to the gym, but I got lazy and decided to take them to a pool my ex worked at to visit her, then i took on him on the slides and i knew the girl working the slides, I thought id be funny and slide down so that he would have to wait up there and talk to her... I waited 15 minutes at the bottom of the slide only to walk back up to them laughing and talking. They have been together for almost a year now and they are beyond happy. Fun Fact Im known as Wingman god between all my friends.
28. I Just Wanted A Coke....
He was to afraid to ask her so I wrote a letter without him knowing and I tell her to go to the vending machine and I tell my bro to go there and I would catch up 2 minutes later they are making out.
Was chilling outside the club with the girl I had a crush on at that time. We were just talking and complaining about the bad music and stuff, when suddenly a random drunk guy came up to us and blurted "Now kiss her already". Worked out, we dated for a while.
Years later I found out, that my best friend actually 'hired' this dude for a beer to get us together.
26. How To Set Them Up
I wanted two of my friends to meet, so when friend A was moving I told her my buddy has a truck and we we would come help. Then I told her I couldn't make it for some reason but my friend was still willing to help. He helped her move that day and now they have been together for 10 years and married for 6.
25. Lazy Success
My roommate was planning on going to this big casino night charity thing the rec-league we played in was hosting. I couldn't go and he was texting me saying he was thinking of bailing rather than go alone. I texted a lady friend of mine and was like "aren't you going to this? Can my roommate tag along with you so he's not by himself?" I then texted them each other's phone numbers. They hooked up that night and dated for a couple months. I wing manned both of them without even leaving my couch. It was probably my finest wing man moment.
24. Makin' Eyes
I worked at a movie theater for a few years in high school/college. Most of us employees were aged 16-25ish and were a bunch of immature jerks having fun while working and getting into trouble together after work. In the same shopping center, there was a fast food restaurant that a school friend of mine worked. Us theater employees would regularly walk over to said restaurant for lunch.
One day, like many others, we were making inappropriate jokes while cleaning a theater after a showing, and one friend joked about how he hadn't gotten any in a while. I jokingly volunteered my fast food friend to assist my theater friend with his "problem". Later that day we wound up at the fast food place for our break and, lo and behold, fast food friend was working. Their eyes met over the register and that was it. They got married the summer after we graduated. Eleven years and one kid later, they are still together.
23. Mental Gymnastics
My best friend had confusing feelings about this guy (he liked her tho) so she set me up on a date with him, we went to the movies, they get together like the week after because she got jealous about the date and realized she actually really liked him. They've been together for over a year now. Also wingwoman I guess
22. Connection In An Isolating Age
I felt like they fit so without asking her, I sent her picture to him on snapchat with a caption "oh I miss my bff" he immediately asked who she was and I said my close friend and oh by the way she's from the same town as you so you probably know her? To which he answered no but what's her name? So I told him and then I was like you know what? Maybe you should meet! So I gave him her number after asking her.
They didn't end up with each other though. They're now both married to different people.
21. C. Profit
A. Make this guy ask out all the girls in the school out. Obviously get told no
B.Girl takes pity and asks him out
i don't know why it worked it just did
She was alone at the bar. A few friends and I were at a table having a few. One friend is getting over a breakup. We both need a new drink. I go up to the bar and order 3. Start talking to the girl. She seems nice. She's open to talking. And she's cute. Bartender brings back 3 beers. I wave my friend over. Hand her a beer. Hand him a beer. Get my beer "I think you two have a lot in common." and walk away. He got her number. They went on a date. It didn't work out cause he wasn't over his ex. But hey I tried.
19. Life Happening
My friend met a guy at my bachelorette party in a different city in 2002. They started dating immediately after. I got married, divorced 9 years later, was single for two years, dated a new guy for 4 years and married him two years ago. Those two are still together. And I'll be the first to admit I never thought they'd last. Good for them.
18. Now My Sister In Law
My first year in grad school there was a girl I thought would be perfect for my brother. So, I started joking with her that she was going to marry my brother. I sent around a picture of him one day when he was home from Iraq and she said he was cute. A few months later he was assigned to a base near her hometown. She went home to visit her parents and I sent them both an e-mail saying they should have coffee.
She married my brother.
17. We Will Never Know
One of my friends did this for his friend from home and I got to witness it first hand. A couple years ago in college, my friend invited me and a few other people to go to bars with him because he has a friend visiting. The friend's 21st was that weekend so he decided to wingman for the friend.
They both caught the attention of a cute blonde. Anyways, my friend eventually started making out with the girl but then 10 minutes later whispered something to the girl and the girl went to his friend and they apparently hooked up that night. My friends and I that tagged along were confused and shocked. If you ask him about it to this day, he doesn't remember because he was drunk and we will never learn about how that wingman technique worked.
16. Elaborate Lives
I walked up at our friends' wedding and started dancing with the girl that my roommate wanted to talk to. We danced for like 2 minutes and then I purposely cut myself out and redirected her to him instead. It was also an open bar, so at the time I was enough drinks in to assume it was a good idea. Low and behold, it was. They talked and got to know each other for about 2 weeks before realizing that their opposite life schedules wouldn't work out.
15. Sashay far away.
Pushed buddy into cute girl on dance floor, they got to talking, ended up married, kid, moved to England. Whole plan took like 3 seconds to come up with. Now I just miss my friend.
You literally pushed your friend out of your life... impressive, and a tad depressing.
14. Who needs to play then you've already won?
I invited some friends over to play Monopoly because I like to play Monopoly. It was the first time they met. They realized I was going to play the "all house no hotel" strategy so they strategized to gang up on me.
It's been 10 years and they're still together.
They still won't play monopoly with me.
That's how you know you've played monopoly correctly.
They scored the ultimate monopoly, life with each other.
13. Those were the days.
When I was in like 5th grade I walked up to a girl for my best friend said "hey my friend has a crush on you" started giggling and ran away they "dated" for a year.
I feel like it swings back around to this the older you get. If you're the single friend, you tend to get introduced to the other single friend at backyard bbqs. We all know why they were both invited.
12. Taking the initiative, eh?
I told my bro that I was going to hook him up with someone in a blind date. He agreed.
I knew he had a crush on a girl already, so I went and straight up told her:
"Hey, so I told my best friend (name) I was going to set him up with a blind date, and I already knew he's got a slight thing for you. Would you be interested? I haven't told him I knew he's a little into you so it's a bit of a secret."
"Yeah, I'm in," she replied.
And that's how I hooked them up in a "blind date".
Stupid, because I lied, I didn't actually have any sort of plan at all, I made it up as I went. Two, because I had already spilled the beans about my friend by the time I realized this was a dangerous game. In fairness, he didn't tell me he liked her, I inferred it by myself. So I don't feel like I betrayed any trust there.
Not the craziest story, I know, but it's what I've got.
EDIT: Sorry! Forgot the important bit. Figured it was implied by OPs request. They got together for a while before mutually breaking it off. It was a good break up, they just weren't right for each other.
11. This was a lot of work.
My best friend at the time said that I would make a good couple with one of my friends. Just to tease her, I started joking around that she had liked that same friend.
I very casually asked my friend if he liked her, to which he responded in a very unorganized and panicked manner, telling me that he was interested. I relayed this information over to my best friend, who was equally flustered and panicked. I continued relaying information between the two of them and over the course of 3 weeks, I had peer pressured these two people to get to know each other. They were in a "getting to know each other" phase for a month or two before dating officially.
Unfortunately, they lasted exactly one month and don't talk to each other anymore.
10. The straights are not okay.
On my best friends' first date with the girl I set him up with, they made out a few times. Later that day she called me and said that she doesn't want to see him any more because his breath was absolutely terrible. I told her that he said the same thing about her breath (a total lie) and that she should be nicer and give him another chance. Now they've been together for 11 months.
9. The duty was done, dutifully.
There was a girl I really liked and I thought she liked me too, but my best friend was having a really rough year and always talked about her so I decided to be the bigger man. Standing outside a party wasted on Halloween I convinced them to eat a Fruit by the Foot from either end like Lady and the Tramp. When they got to the middle I yelled kiss and they did. They ended up going on a couple dates but he blew it and now she hates me too.
Very adorable human behavior. 10/10 wingman.
8. This is how you do it.
Writing this to commend my friend for being a wingman for me but I was at a party this year with the express intent of finally talking to the girl I liked back in high school before we all graduated in 2018.
Kept holding off on approaching her and striking up a conversation so my friend went up to her and pretty much said "hey my friend basically hates everyone but he really likes you and he really wants to talk to you but hes too much of a b to approach you, could you please talk to him and just see how things go."
So she came up to me and we started talking and things went well.
We've now been dating for a month and things have been great.
7. Wingmaning by proxy.
i was a stranger's wingman. Got the job done for him and I don't even know his name.
I have a female friend who messaged me that the most embarrassing thing had happened to her. She has an "open house." Any of her friends may walk in at any time if they need anything. One of her friends walked in while she was pleasing herself. Not just a little bit, but full on.
But also turned on. She had been going through a months long dry spell, and the guy was very attractive. He came in because he needed somewhere to stay for the weekend. I think they were fumigating his house? I'm not sure, it's been years.
So there she is, hours later, kids are in bed and she's watching a movie with this guy, when she messages me again. She wants to sleep with him, but he hasn't made a move. She's from a family where the woman never makes the first move, she hasn't even considered the possibility. I not only talk her into it, but I talk her through it. It takes an hour, most of which was building up her confidence enough to just do it. She said it was great sex. She thanked me for helping her out.
The next day I tell a different friend that I had done this. He looks thoughtful for a minute, and he says "Ya know, I wonder how many times a girl wanted to sleep with me me but no one was there to talk me through it."
6. Extreme but effective.
I pretended to be a gay boyfriend to my "bi" friend so he could get closer to her. We "broke up" and they got together.
Yeah, he was my homie.
5. Getting schwifty.
To preface this, I'm a fairly big guy, gentle giant type, not so gentle when drunk. I was drinking with my gf at the time and our mutual friend at a club. Mutual Friend spotted a guy dancing with his mates and told me she thought he was cute. I was fairly inebriated and thought it would be a great idea to dance into his friend circle, dance/hipthrust him out of said circle, and forcibly dance him into the arms of Mutual Friend.
They dated for 4 years after that so it was a success but probably wouldn't recommend that tactic.
4. What a bro.
Wingman recipient here.
My best buddy knew I wanted this girl but I didn't know how to pull the trigger. This girl was gorgeous. He was outgoing and good friends with this girl. He also knew she was into me. The three of us were wasted at a party at her house. He told us to come upstairs to her room. In her room he said we were gonna play a game and all strip down to our underwear.
By the time she and I were down to our undies, he was fully clothed still, gave me a butt smack and closed the door as he left the room.....
closed the deal, twice.....
Never forgot it.
Lol. His plan was simply "get them naked."
3. She's a mess.
My college roommate was heavily flirting with this one guy from our dorm. He hadn't officially asked her out, but it was pretty clear he wanted to. And that Roommate had a huuuuge crush on him.
Problem was, there was another guy who'd been hitting on her. He was creepy (I don't mean that in the "ew, he wasn't hot" way- he'd get overly sexual and physically aggressive at frat parties to the point where multiple frats banned him). Roommate didn't like him, but kept talking to him because she had weird emotional issues about saying "no" to people and blowing them off.
So she wasn't making it clear which guy she liked, they were kinda fighting over her, and the whole thing came to a head right before they were gonna leave for a frat party. Creeper demanded she pick who she was "going" to the party with.
I half shouted, "Well she HAS to pick [Roommate's Crush.] She owes him for teaching her pool today."
Roommate's Crush jumped on that, claimed his "right" to take Roommate to the party, and they were officially dating by the end of the night.
How does it end?
Like, over Valentine's Day, our dorm had this thing where they put hearts on our doors so everybody could anonymously write nice things about one another. She counted the number of nice things on everybody's heart, averaged them, and had a meltdown when she got one less compliment than the floor average. I came back from class and found her curled up in a ball, SOBBING, in her closet. Took me two hours to calm her down, and I only managed it by convincing her that her friends were procrastinators and hadn't gotten around to doing the hearts yet. (That night, I snuck out of the room at 2 am with a bunch of different pens and wrote random nice things on her heart, and several other people's because if I just wrote on her's she'd have figured out it was me and had another meltdown about being "pitied.")
I can't imagine what dating that mess was like.
2. Sometimes roommates know best.
So I'm the one who got coupled up, but here it is. For about 4 months my roommate would invite this girl over to watch trash movies together, once a week. I had no intention with getting together with her cus she is 2 years older and obviously out of my league. It worked because he didn't tell me that this was his plan, because otherwise I would definitely have messed it up. Once we started dating he came up to me and spilled the beans, and said "I was close to losing all hope with you, finally."
1. Be who you are, and accept nothing less.
Oh I actually have one! I have a friend with a medical condition called Alopecia, which makes the person lose all the hair on their body. She suffered from depression and really low self esteem because of this, and always wore a wig.
So we were at a party 10 years ago, and she saw this guy that she found very interesting. I told her to go talk to him, but she didn't dare to. So I asked her to come with me to the bathroom, and when we passed the guy I gave her a small push so she kinda fell into him. Well, they spent the rest of the night talking and started dating.
Then one day about two weeks later she called me crying saying she really liked this guy, but she was so afraid of him finding out she didn't have any hair and wore a wig. I told her to go tell him, and if he didn't accept that part of her, he didn't deserve the rest of her.
She called me that evening saying she told him and that they were now boyfriend and girlfriend. Today, ten years later they are happily married and expecting their second baby :')
Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.
All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?
Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:
What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
I am claustrophobic. It paralyzes my life. I can't ride elevators. I freak out at amusement parks. And don't get me started on trains in New York that get stuck in the tunnel. Why am I like this?
"I was about 7 or 8 when I heard some noise coming from the garage. My mom was at work and I was being babysat by one of my uncles. I went to open the garage to find my other uncle strangling his girlfriend up against the car. She had blood coming out of her nose and mouth. I just froze and stood there staring and my uncle didn't even notice and continued choking and strangling her."
"My other uncle came to the door where I was standing saw what was happening and grabbed me. He called my mom and then the police who later came and arrested my uncle. There's more to this story I wasn't privy to at such a young age. But yeah my other uncle is crazy. He's been to jail a few times, has anger and control issues."
"Going to another person's house and realizing that living in filth and decay and having breathing problems isn't the norm. Having dinner every night and a clean room was just a regular day in their household. Grass is always greener right? Especially when yours is dead and everyone from school thinks your house is haunted. Smh good riddance."
"Watching my grandpa slowly waste away on our living room couch. He had a paraganglioma on his pancreas, and there was nothing (especially in 1980) that could be done for him. I was four, and he was my favorite person, and I couldn't sit with him, or hug him, or anything. I miss him even after 40 years. Either that or my best friend dying over Christmas break in 1988. I miss her too. I pretty much hated everything after that."
"I saw my Dad get swept away and drowned when I was 11. It's really something I've never recovered from. It's been 16 years and not a day goes by I don't remember it. I live with it. I think we have to for those who we've lost. I always kind of imagine it as a sort of like an emotional loss of a limb. I haven't lost a limb, but I imagine you adapt to not having it. You learn. But you never forget you are missing an arm or a leg."
It's taken me years to confront my struggle. Finally a little while ago, I tried hypnotherapy and I was able to recover a childhood memory that manifested into my phobia. I was trapped in handcuffs as a joke by my babysitter's brother. Six hours.
"The older I got through my teens, the more my step-father's alcoholism spiralled out of control, and the more I was biding my time until I was 18 and would head off to college. Education was my only escape in my mind. Every instance of physical and emotional abuse had to be met with, "just shut up and take it, it'll be over someday." Really wish I could give that kid who slept on the floor of a three-bedroom trailer a hug and say that he'd make it out and get a master's degree. I feel like I just won a decade-long war."
"I had a dog that I absolutely loved. I begged for this dog in a Walmart parking lot a week before my 3rd birthday, my mom said I could have the dog but that meant no birthday presents or cake just the dog (she lied, I got presents, cake, and dog.) This dog went everywhere with me and did everything with me. Despite being a tiny mutt he would do his best to protect me from our Doberman who did not like me."
"In fairness to the doberman, as a 2 yr old I did stomp on his nuts for some unbeknownst reason so no hard feelings on not liking me. When I was 5 my mom became a truck driver so we moved in with my grandparents on their farm. While I was at school one day Bouncy had gotten into the fence with the donkeys and was kicked in the head."
"When I got off the bus I couldn't figure out why he wasn't waiting on me. My grandparents met me outside and told me what happened, then walked me in to where he was. He died 30 minutes after I got home like he was waiting to see me. I haven't been able to bond with a pet since."
"I saw our neighbor's collie killed by a driver speeding through the neighborhood. As a young boy, it had real impact because I loved her, and it hurt when he stuck his head out the driver's door window, grinned, and just sped off - leaving the dog dead in the road and me - a kid - in tears. As I once commented, how anyone could be so callous and cruel was beyond my imagination."
"I actually don't remember the event much, but when I was really young (~6years old) I was playing outside and I heard a woman screaming. I was curious so I went across the street to see a bunch of smoke coming out of the cracks in the front door. Didn't see any flames initially so I didn't put two and two together right away. My Dad saw me across the street in the driveway just staring at the house and when he investigated what I was doing he realized the house was on fire. Whole house burnt down."
"Older woman fell asleep on her couch with a lit cigarette. I was traumatized by fire as a kid and I was petrified about burning alive in my sleep for quite some time. Dad had to install a fire escape ladder in my room, fire extinguishers, etc. I was obsessed with what to do in case of fires as a kid. No longer an issue, but my parents still tell me stories about how they knew that messed me up."
"I was 12 and sat down at the edge of a sidewalk to pet a cat crossing the road. I lived on a very quiet, but wide street. Even if a car drove by, there would've been a lot of room, as I was in an area reserved for parallel parking. (No cars were parked though). All of a sudden a big red car sped up and swerved to hit the cat. It missed me by inches, and instantly killed the cat. It was decades ago, and I still think about it often."
"Oh, hands down, my mother alcoholism. It really messes you up in ways that you cannot imagine. And you don't even realize that until years after. I still can't drink alcohol because of it, it terrifies me to even entertain the possibility to become something close to her."
I survived. But, I'm still haunted. I think I always will be. But I have learned to manage. We all struggle with the past. We were too young to process. But now we have to try. You're not alone.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.
And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.
Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.
The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...
Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:
Why are you single?
Give too much. Give too little. Pay for the first date. Don't pay for anything. I've heard it all. Sometimes it all worked, sometimes it didn't. Let's hear more...
Nemo?Finding Nemo Movie GIFGiphy
"There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert."
"My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman."
"I think the only way I could move forward is knowing I will always love and cherish her memory, but am capable of loving another as well. Then again there's nothing wrong with making peace with the fact you've had the love of your life and staying single."
"I tell myself it's by choice."
"Here is the reality, it may make some feel better. If you aren't using a dating app, not going to bars/clubs or putting yourself out there, you have made a conscious choice not to date. If you are ok with this, you have NOTHING to be ashamed or worried about. Some people are wired differently. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship. If you are not ok with this, you need to make some changes in your life. And no, it's not their fault. Do some introspection."
"Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me."
"I have a question for you, I suspect that this person I really care for a lot also really cares a lot for me but they push me away despite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type. In fact, we've always really enjoyed each other's company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone despite really liking them because you thought that they'd just leave you anyway and couldn't possibly be happy with you--and they'd would be disappointed? Thinking you're doing them a favor?
"It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage. I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me."
"Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can, but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply."
The Appeal...So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"I assume because I'm not appealing in any way to anyone"
no one else....
"I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fool?!"
"For me, it is a choice. In my country, marriage is set up by parents and children barely have a say in 90% cases. I am 35 now and still single, think of it how you will. I just detest human interactions. When I try to recall the happiest moments of my life, all of them were with my dogs, gods help their departed souls. I can't imagine spending intimate time with another human being. And a relationship is unnecessary bondage. It is an utter waste of time, money, energy and everything one can imagine."
"I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating."
"I lack the social skills."
"It's difficult, I avoided people and bonding with people because I was too insecure about being socially unskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but I barely started really."
ConnectionsDont Touch Me Season 9 GIF by FriendsGiphy
"I don't connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don't have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero."
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Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.
Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.
If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.
Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:
"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"
Let's learn from the masters!
What a common mistake!
"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."
"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."
"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."
"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."
"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."
"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."
"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."
Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.
"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."
"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"
You can't take back what you've already put in.
"You can always add, but you cannot take away."
"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."
"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."
"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."
"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."
"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"
"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."
"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."
How else will you know it tastes good?
"Taste the food."
"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."
"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."
Here's one just for laughs.
"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."
"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."
If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.
Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!
If all else fails, you can always order take out.
As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.
One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.
Fast forward to our grocery store trip with our mother, my younger sister, and myself. Sister was having a fit over wanting one of those cheap plastic toy packs they hang in some of the aisles. Mom said no.
Cue the scream, my little blonde sister lets out a wail and starts yelling for the entire store to hear "Stop it! You aren't my mom! You aren't my mommy! No!" My mom tried to grab her hand and tell her to stop but then realized that in doing so it made the scene look worse.
It was such a mix of mortification and humor that I just stood there. Little sister stopped after a few minutes, pretty sure she got her prized toy just to shut up. Now that I'm older it's a wonder the police didn't come.
Redditor Granted01 wanted to hear the most embarrassing childhood moments the internet had to offer and asked the subreddit:
“What inappropriate thing did you do as a child that you didn't realise was inappropriate?"
The answers make us want to crawl into a hole for them.
“My parents used to keep mini bottles of liquor in the fridge (the ones you'd find in hotel mini bar). We had to make our own lunches at times when mom and dad were busy with work and my first-grade self decided to empty the bottles into the sink and put juice in them to bring to school… my parents got a call that day from school lol." wander-lux
On my--well, him...
“Not me but my daughter. We live in a place where we don't see many people of different ethnicities but one day she saw a Muslim man with a beard dressed in the long white outfit, and she was convinced he was God."
“No idea why but she wouldn't leave the dude alone (she was 4) and started reeling off a Christmas list.. turns out Santa and God were mixed up too. Thankfully he found it funny." ApricotSuperb7196
“Not me, but my sister used to lap her drinks up like a dog. Turns out she was calling this "doggy style". One time they forgot to bring her a straw at the restaurant we were in and she loudly screamed "guess I'll do it doggy style". I think she was 7 or 8 at the time." knotsy-
Not what they’re called…
“I used to call those pigeons with the pointy tuft on their heads ‘horny birds’. I would yell it out so loudly too -.- my mum told me she had to look away every time I did it because it made her laugh until she cried. Obviously I wasnt told until later because I was only 5 at the time.” Artherwritethiss
Anything but that *gag*
“I used to play with this cup in the bath and drink water out of it for years, did it in the shower too as i got older, it had a handle on the end of it and I never knew why. One day I witnessed my mother use this cup in the toilet violently, and that was the moment I realized what a plunger was."
“It scared me I was about 10 when I realized what I had been using as a toy. I would fill it up with water in the bath or shower and play with it, and sip the water out of it, etc as kids do with toys I guess. Probably never forget that." That-nz-guyChannel 9 Brush GIF by Married At First Sight AustraliaGiphy
“riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town…”
“I was a serious nudist as a child. My parents could never keep me in my clothes. My older sister would have her friends over who I had a crush on and I'd run outside butt naked to see them. There's a story that I still get teased about to this day of when my neighbor called my mom at work to tell her I was riding my big wheel across one of the busiest roads in town completely nude.” jdbuck99
“I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard…”
“I grew up on Looney Tunes & would call people who were mean to me stinkers or dirty bastards. I called my Granny's boyfriend a dirty bastard cause he started teasing me. I had my mom dying.” Kuriosity93
“my mum made me forge her papers…”
“When I was like 12 my mom was on probation and had to do community service. (Still no idea why) I had pretty good cursive handwriting at the time and my mum made me forge her papers and sign her p.o's name saying she was doing her service. Good times. Thanks for the memories mum.” osum_o_posum
Why didn’t they say anything!?
“When I was in 5th grade we made a calendar to take home. We each had our picture taken and glued to cover and were allowed to decorate it and each of the following months however we chose."
“Being 10 (nearly 11) there was so much that I didn't know about the world. What made it tick and more importantly, its history. Prior to the creative masterpiece that was unfolding in class, at home, I had walked in on my dad watching a WWII documentary where they showed footage of the German regalia and, subsequently, their flags."
“Not knowing any better, I thought the 'windmill' symbol was really cool and decided it should be on the cover of this calendar. One in each corner with my photo smack dab in the middle."
“No one said anything to me about it. It went through the lamination machine and was sent home with me. I wish I could've seen my teacher's reaction while she thought one of her students had skinheads for parents..." FusedByFire
A different way to say hello…
“Right, so anyone who's seen Mr. Bean (the movie) probably remembers the scene where he waves his middle finger at people tryna say hi? I did that. To an elderly person. Need I say more.” Blackrap1d
These cringe-worthy and laughable moments are brought to you by the ignorance of childhood. We've nearly all had a moment like this growing up, some just way, way worse than others.