Wife Files For Divorce Hoping Husband Will Fight It And Reconcile, And He's Not Sure How To Proceed
Love is a gamble...
Redditor gonewild9676 has found himself in quite the predicament. His wife had a few ideas regarding their marriage and now he's a bit perplexed, to say the least.Take a listen...
I'm confused, torn, and a mess right now. We've been married for 11 years, and for the last year she has been all but shunning me. She asked for space, I've given it to her. She's had a friend with at least an emotional affair.
We've had marriage counseling that went nowhere. It seems like every olive branch I've extended to her has been shot off. I've been raising our 8 year old almost as a single father for the past year. She's been sleeping in another room and locking herself in it. She's been coming home late and pretending I don't exist. She sold her business late last year and hasn't worked a steady gig since. She has a STEM degree and experience running a business, so she can get a decent job.
Last year I was working at a toxic company and knew my job was in jeopardy. Frankly I was a nervous mess, but was hoping to finish one last project and bail, but was laid off with a nice severance. Meanwhile I've landed a new gig at a much nicer company.
Anyways, a few weeks ago she ended counseling and filed for divorce. Then last night I got a call from a friend who said she broke down and said she didn't really want it she thought I'd fight it.
I don't really want one, but if she wants out I'm not holding her hostage. She went through all kinds of abuse as a kid and I figured I triggered something and she had checked out of the marriage. I've talked to several people and they came to that decision and that she's kind of lost in life right now. Frankly if the divorce goes through she's getting the short stick in the deal. Maybe cold feet?
I'm willing to go talk with the friend and her with an open mind. What's the best way for me to navigate this? On one side I'm sick of her treatment of me. On the other side we had 10 really good years and I'd rather not split custody of our daughter. How should I handle this?
My wife has filed for divorce but told a friend she doesn't really want one. What do I do?
Don't Engage...
she didn't really want it she thought I'd fight it
You're old enough to remember "WarGames" and how it ended, yes?
The only winning move is not to play.
How about a nice game of chess?
Yes, I agree with this assessment as well.
I'm at the point now where I sincerely believe actions speak louder than words.
That's a hot mess honey!
Sheesh this is a mess. First, I'd like to ask, why don't you want a divorce? I'm having a hard time seeing any compelling reason to continue living this relatively miserable existence. I'm sure your answer is a long the lines of "I still love her deeply" or "we had 10 year together that were wonderful, surely we can get back to that." Before you tell me why you want to stay, allow me to present a few points:
- the staggering immaturity displayed by her is truly amazing. She asked for a divorce because she "wanted you to fight it/fight for her." That's so high school/college dating crap. You know the type: tells her boyfriend she's fine, he accepts it, then she gets pissed at him for not forcing her to talk/ she breaks up with guy over trivial reason, he accepts it, she gets mad he didn't fight for the relationship. Point being, it's all a test. And something a woman her age should not being doing to a long term partner, out of what I believe is complacency and boredom in your marriage.
- she has actively avoided you and ignored you while living in the same house, and sounds like she avoided your daughter too. If for no other reason then giving your daughter a healthy upbringing where she's not actively living in the same house as a emotionally neglectful mother, you should want to get out.
- you can't save her or make her suddenly not be lost in life. Deciding to not get divorced won't help her find herself. In fact, getting divorced and having a chance to explore who she is and life could be best for her.
- she had at least one emotional affair on you. That should bother you considerably more. It's not like she doesn't have love to give, she just has no desire to give it to you. By all accounts, it sounds like she wasn't terribly engaged in couples therapy, which means what issues do exist, she has no desire to change. This won't change if you decide not to divorce.
As to how to navigate this when you talk, ask her why she felt the need to file for divorce if she didn't want one. If she says she wanted you to fight for her, tell her it is ridiculous and immature to "test" you after 10 years of marriage. By all accounts you did the mature thing. You accepted it as what she wanted, and wanted what she wanted. There's no excuse for her actions. Personally, if it were me, I'd deeply ponder the points above and consider what you really need. I would likely come to the conclusion that divorce is for the best, and tell her as much.
The mother of your daughter has to not want that for herself. You already have a child to take care of. You can't adopt an adult too. Especially one who has proven herself perfectly capable of functioning when she wants to.
You can't read her mind. You know that she's checked out and you know that she filed for divorce. Act on what you know, not speculation. If she doesn't really want the divorce, she can use her big girl words and talk to you. Otherwise, it's time to protect yourself and your child.
Hello Dr. Phil...
Sounds like your wife had a really tough start on life, and while doing really well for the past 10 years, she may be coming apart now. But, sad as it is, you can't save her. She can only save herself, and you can only support her if she lets you, and if you feel it is something that you want to do and can do. It is important to consider your daughter too, and what is best for her in terms of the environment she grows up in and the kinds of adults and behaviour that she sees and experiences. It's not just about having both your parents in the same house, but having a safe, secure and loving environment to grow up in. The current situation sounds very unhealthy - and don't think for a moment your daughter can't see what's going on or doesn't suffer because of it. Children appear resilient because they have no choice, not because they wouldn't be breaking apart inside.
To me it seems like your wife needs individual therapy to deal with her childhood, but it can take years to process and develop healthy attachment and communication models. And it is very hard work and can be very painful, so she has to be very committed to the process.
In any case it might be best for your wife to move away for a while, as that will give everyone a bit of breathing space, and as she is struggling to be a partner and a mother, will give her a break from those responsibilities so that she can focus on herself.
Can you go to one more session with your couples therapist to discuss your options? I don't think talking to your wife and her friend will help, as the friend will only take your wife's side.
Having said that, going through with the divorce may still be the best option for everyone.
Only actions and facts matter...
Deal with facts and not wishes. Deal with the fact she's filed for divorce and act accordingly. That means preparing for all aspects, family, legal, otherwise. It doesn't matter what you've heard. Words are useless while the process is in effect. If she doesn't want to divorce then she needs to follow through and withdraw it, if that can be done. The fact she's filed already takes this past certain points of no return. Maybe you can rebuild but any life with her after this will be affected by what she's done.
Personally I'd take that information as all the MORE reason to divorce because it means this must be some kind of half-assed fucked-up badly-planned brinskmanship ploy to get some specific reaction out of you. And it's not like SHE told you this to your face. (Either that or she paniced when she realised the financial implications.)
I guess you could sign up for couples counselling to try to get to the bottom of what she's actually up to, what she actually wants, but IMHO that's unlikely to work: plus as you say, she's shot herself in the foot here by shooting down all your attempts to resolve this.
TBH I think you'd be happier not married to someone who plays stupid games and makes you feel like crap.
Carpe Diem...
No reason to live unhappy, unwanted, or unloved. Life is too short. Your 8 year old sees it as well. Keep that in mind. Do what is best for you and your child.
Right now nobody is winning...
I fully appreciate the soft spot in your heart that you have for your wife regarding her terrible childhood. I really do. That being said, there is a point for every adult who has been abused in childhood that they must recognize the damage done and learn to mitigate its effects on their adult lives. I am not saying that your wife shouldn't have difficulties based on her past, but that she has to acknowledge these obstacles and learn to deal with them as an adult that wants to thrive in spite of the trauma. You can't use her past as an excuse for her current behavior. She has to accept some responsibility and act as a partner to you and as a mother to your daughter. It doesn't sound like she's doing either of those things and that she is in dire need of intensive therapy.
I don't know that you can save her from her past if she's not willing to work on it herself. I wish you the best. ♡
She didn't tell you this directly so it's not really your responsibility to deal with. It's just manipulative. If she wants to improve things she could have come to you. Or gone to counseling herself. But instead she's been pretty terrible for a year.
I don't think you can trust what she told a friend as true either... She may just be trying to save face as "not the bad guy" to this person while she's the one who withdrew effort from fixing things.
Best of luck to you!
You and your daughter first...
Listen, the way she treated you this last year was basically emotional and psychological abuse. Look it up. She shunned you for the entire year and had emotional affairs. The onus isn't on you to make her a well adjusted and healthy person to be a good mom and a good wife. The onus is on her to keep that shit under control.
I tell this to a lot of people as I'm involved in mental health wellness. Your responsibility isn't to fix someone with mental health issues so they can stay with you. Your responsibility is to support them. When she unilaterally decides she's going to hurt you and the family its not your responsibility to tolerate it and allow her to hurt you and your child in the process. Its your responsibility to protect that child at all costs.
If she wants out and its a bad situation let her have it. If she couldn't come to her senses a year ago and realize how badly she was hurting her child then I don't think she deserves a second or third chance from you. All that's going to happen is your child is going to end up hurt again. You don't think this last year of her mom being pretty much absent and rejecting her hasn't just destroyed her self-esteem and emotions?
Your wife went through some terrible things. Now she's doing them to your daughter. Get her out of both your lives and fight as hard as you can for majority custody. That poor little baby is suffering right now and the best thing you can do is get her mom out of the house to protect her. At least this way you can start to regain some form of normalcy around the house and work forward through all the hurt she's just gone through.
Your biggest responsibility is to protect your child. You're not doing that right now. Having a mom who is actively rejecting her in the house is a lot worse for her than a mom who isn't in the house at all.
We all have strong opinions about something, but when we think of opinions, we often think of hot button topics like political subjects.
But as it turns out, sometimes we can have just as strong of opinions of our preferred types of pasta.
Redditor PeeB4uGoToBed asked:
"What's the best pasta shape and why?"
The Right Answer
"I prefer my pasta, like my nuggets, to be dinosaur-shaped."
- bearstrugglethunder
"This is my true answer, but if I have to pretend to be an adult, I always say Cavatappi."
- YourGlacier
Radiatori
"Radiatori. Thick and perfect for pasta sauces."
- AuthenticVanillaOwl
"They're so fun. They're my favorite, ahead of rotini. I just like ridges, I guess."
- arcosapphire
Cavatappi
"Cavatappi!!!!"
- floatingvibes
"Best for mac and cheese."
- pacheckyourself
"My first time having cavatappi mac and cheese changed my life."
- Salt_Blackberry_1903
"Cavatappi gang, RISE UP."
- Sharp_Easy
Cavatelli
"I see your cavatappi and raise you cavatelli."
- dumbf**k
"Cavatelli is the bee's knees, man."
- elhooper
Conchiglie
"Conchiglie (shells)."
"The shell shape stores cheese and sauces, so with each bite, you get tons of flavor."
- WingerRules
"Yes! Mac n cheese always tastes amazing with Conchiglie, I don't make the rules."
- Inconvenient-Pebble9
Rigatoni
"Rigatoni. My favorite dish is baked rigatoni with bolognese. I love the texture of the ridges and the larger hollow part scoops up the sauce very well as compared to ziti or penne."
- AllDressedJalapenos
Cascatelli
"Cascatelli. Some crazy f**k got obsessed with answering the OP's question and invented this."
- PhantomMenaceWasOK
Vesuvio
"Cascatelli is great, but his second round of shapes, specifically vesuvio, might be better."
- mriners
"Agreed. Vesuvio is peak."
- jll3523
Quattrotini
"I prefer quattrotini. I find it has better forkability and toothsinkability."
- banjo215
Fusilli
"Fusilli because it's silly."
- HorrorxHeart
Bucatini
"Bucatini is the best of all worlds. You have everything that's great about the long noodles and it's hollow! It absorbs sauce and oil on the inside."
- winterORgethen
"I hate bucatini! You can't suck a protruding part into your mouth because of the hole in the middle. You can't pick it up with a fork, because it's too slippery with sauce."
- CalTechie-55
Penne
"Penne... because the sauce is in AND on it, lol (laughing out loud)."
- secretxamy
Orecchiette
"Orecchiette."
- Realistic_Try_6738
"The pasta that would literally drive me insane if I tried to make it from scratch."
- BullsOnParadeFloats
Farfalle
"Farfalle."
- Preference-Best
"I came to say this. Just something about it. Amazing mouth feel. Great texture. Good with light and heavy, meaty sauces."
- Fracture_98
"This one. There’s something so nostalgic about it for me. And I feel like it does well with most sauces. A very versatile shape for a variety of pasta dishes."
- BlueHeelerChemist
Linguine
"Linguine: the spaghetti that went to private school."
- feeflet
"I am totally on board with linguine. Flat to catch the sauce and thin enough to cook evenly for the perfect consistency! Pairs with many sauces too!"
- Odd_Calligrapher_407
Pappardelle
"Pappardelle."
"Flat pasta is better than round pasta (like spaghetti) for sauces and flavors being absorbed. It's long enough to give the lady and the tramp vibes and not feel like you're a kid eating some superhero shapes out of a bowl like Fusilli and Farfalle can give off."
"It's thicker than tagliatelle to give it enough girth to feel like more of a main event than just being the bed your sauce and toppings sit on."
"Overall, it's just the best all-rounder in my book."
- bawjaws2000
This conversation just goes to show how many pasta options there actually are in the world, some that we may have not even heard of yet, because of them being invented in 2020!
But it also goes to show that we all have our favorites, and we can have very strong opinions about them.
One of life's most unfortunate moments is when we feel our lives are genuinely in danger.
These horrific moments can involve the behavior of people with malicious intentions or just being at the wrong place and time.
Even though many people live to share their harrowing stories, the trauma doesn't necessarily go away completely.
But all anyone who's experienced a terrifying ordeal can do to find peace is to count their blessings and be grateful they are survivors.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Fearless-surfur-ee asked:
"What was the scariest incident happened with you?"
These Redditors experienced heart-stopping false alarms.
Wrong Target
"Half a dozen masked men broke into my bedroom, threatened me and my girlfriend, realised they had the wrong house, apologised and left. Edit - I told the full story here a while back."
– The-Go-Kid
Witness At A Shopping Mall
"Similar thing happened to my Aunt. She witnessed an attack at a shopping centre (on going disagreement between 2 well known families) and was threatened. A few days later one of the older family members approached her in her driveway and apologised profusely for the younger persons behaviour and offered her compensation. She was so scared she just said no thanks and he left."
– pokerdotts
Sometimes, you gotta listen to your gut.
Unplanned Detour
"Wife and I took a dark exit towards out neighborhood. Whole backseat full of bags cause we went shopping at the mall. There’s a red light at the intersection once you get off the exit and we pull up to this tinted oldsmobile. They were in the right lane to go straight or turn right and we were in the left lane to turn left."
"Nobody is around, maybe 10 at night. I turn left and look in my rear view and it’s the car that was next to us a bit back. I pull in my driveway and just had a really weird feeling, so I told my wife I’m gonna reverse and drive around the block. She thinks it’s weird as hell, but as we are reversing, this dude is walking towards us from that Oldsmobile parked around the corner. I dip the f**k out and make it look like I was just turning around and drove like a mile away before heading back."
"Just had this gut feeling, man. Who knows what would have happened? But it was scary as f'k, nonetheless."
– One_pop_each
A Tragic Stop
"Friend borrowed dad’s Benz to take wife on anniversary date. He stopped for flowers and was followed home by someone thinking he was wealthy. He was shot dead in his driveway in what turned out to be a gang initiation; you did the right thing."
– busjockey
These Redditors looked down the barrel of a gun...and lived to tell their story.
Fearless
"Was at a train station that was empty and I was sitting down waiting for a train and a man walks over with a bag, opens it and takes out a shotgun and points it at me and I just stare at him, he then says 'you're not scared are you' then puts the shotgun back in the bag then walks out of the train station."
"Actually not sure if that was the scariest or weirdest or if I was even scared."
– XenomorphXx121
The Right Answer
"Reminds me of the time a guy put a gun to my neck and said, 'What would you do if I pull the trigger right now.'"
"I was in a completely apathetic state of mind at that time anyway and said, 'Not much I can do, but I'll haunt you.'"
– lazerchin
These Redditors experienced medical emergencies.
Lucky Patient
"Last week had a heart attack after almost recovering from chemotherapy."
"I asked the nurse if I was going to die and she said I’m in the right place and they will look after me. Then I got more scared then I ever have before"
"I should not have survived but I did."
– Fistandantalus
Urgent Appointment
"The scan came back and we found a mass. We'd like you to come in to talk to the doctor today or tomorrow. You should see if someone can drive for you as you may be upset afterwards"
"Can I come in next week, I have a trip planned?"
"The doctor says you should come in today anytime and we will clear an appointment for you."
"Luckily that doctor kicked a**. 3 years post-surgery. Scans are clean in August and I move into the "only 10% chance of reoccurrence" bracket."
– Meet_the_Meat
Mysterious Illness
"Felt sick, kind of like the flu. Felt completely fine in the morning, but got worse as the day went on. It was the middle of the night and I was up with my husband and our new 6 week old baby. I was pumping breastmilk."
"Next thing I know, I’m waking up to EMTs surrounding me on my bed telling me not to move or sit up. My heart rate was incredibly high and blood pressure incredibly low. They took me to the hospital and no one knew what was wrong with me for a while. They kept asking me what drugs I took. I kept telling them nothing (which is true). I just had a baby, the biggest 'drug' I was taking was Tylenol. They didn’t believe me for a while."
"I couldn’t remember a lot of things at this point. I could barely even remember my own kid’s name. I couldn’t tell them who the president was or what year it was when they asked. It was a weird feeling to have memory missing. Kind of like having lost some puzzle pieces. Talking was also kind of difficult."
"After a BUNCH of tests, turns out I had a UTI so bad that I went into septic shock and my kidneys were shutting down. Didn’t know I had a UTI because I was still healing from childbirth and I am pretty asymptomatic when it comes to UTIs. I don’t feel pain when I get them. Spent a few days in the ICCU. Was extra scary considering my brand new baby was at home and I wasn’t and there was a chance I wouldn’t make it home at all."
"In the end, I thankfully made a full recovery."
"Not as intense as some of these other stories, but please don’t sleep on a UTI guys. Sepsis is no joke."
– mxbear
The last time I truly feared for my life was when I was at a party and a fight between two drunk partygoers turned into a Swiss army knife fight.
I'm not kidding.
A couple of my friends and I jumped off the second floor balcony and got chased in the parking lot.
After some fumbling with the car keys, my buddy managed to get five of us crammed into his car and the perpetrator started pounding on the rear window with his fists and bloodying it up from smashing his knuckles onto the glass.
The police came just in time. Thank you annoyed neighbor who called the cops on us for our blood-curdling screams disturbing the peace.
Perhaps the best thing about our friends is that we can always rely on them.
To help us out, to give us words of comfort and wisdom when we need them, or to just be a willing pair of ears.
Even so, our friends still have a way of surprising us, as well as disappointing us from time to time.
Sometimes they'll do things that just make us groan and roll our eyes but are easily forgiven over time.
Other times, however, they might do or say something which can only be described as "f*cked up."
Potentially putting an effective end to your friendship.
"What is the most f**ked up thing you've seen a friend do?"
Those Poor Cats...
"A guy I worked with was about to take his wife on a trip back to their mutual hometown in another state."
"They had a pair of delightful kittens and they asked me if I would watch them while they were gone."
"I had little experience with cats but these 2 were just wonderfully playful."
"I gave him a call when he got back to arrange returning the kittens but he said they had picked up a non-cat friendly dog on the journey and he would just drop off the kittens in the woods."
"Needless to say, I kept them and they were wonderful furry friends for me and eventually to my wife and kids."
"I still think what would have happened to them if I had not been in the right place at the right time."- PoloGrounder
"I went on holiday for a week and asked my 'best friend' to pop in and feed my cat (he lived a few doors away)."
"When I got back, my cat was laying by the back door of my house, went inside and his bowl was empty, I called him and asked when the last time he fed him, he said 'oh yeah, I forgot'."
"My cat had been outside for a week with no food or water. "
"I haven't spoken to him in 12 years."- Reddit
Always Listen To Your Doctor
"Convinced his girlfriend she was suffering from gluten intolerance instead of schizophrenia, and got her to stop taking medication."- lightningandmadness
But Was It A Point Worth Proving?
"Deliberately get knocked down by a car, in order to prove that when drunk (and we were very drunk), his bones were flexible."
"Fortunately, the car had been slowing to turn."
"There followed a couple of minutes trying to reassure the driver he was ok, whilst calling him an idiot."
"Meanwhile, he was laying flat on his back, maintaining he'd proved his point."- anothercynicaloldgit
It Is Never Attractive To Gloat
"Best friend was excited for me to meet his new gf."
"The whole evening he bragged about how she was still married and he was going to be the reason she got divorced."
"Haven't spoken to him since."
"Did hear she broke up with him and sorted out the issues with her husband."- hmfiddlesworth
Karma Is Pretty Unforgiving...
"Brought my friend to watch my boyfriend practice his drumming."
"She kept spreading her legs wide wearing a skirt with no underwear."
"She slept with him and he left me thinking he would be with her."
"Needless to say she didn’t date him because she already had a boyfriend."- Final_Objective_6204Kar
Shameless
"We were working in an old lady's attic and he kicked the sh*t out of a pipe on purpose then went and told her it needed to be replaced."
"I never worked with him again after that."- FriendlyDifference72
Oh, Honey...
"Brag about a then—boyfriend not leaving her despite constant cheating."
"Then cry when he left her."
"I don’t know either."- Snapesnape716
In With The Wrong Crowd
"They were arguing and he made fun of the friend for being an orphan."
"Tried to stab the other friend cuz his ex was crushing on him."- we_are_ghetto
Not Worth A Second Thought
"Throw McDonald’s fries and burger as hard as he could at a homeless lady asking for food."
"I called him a piece of sh*t and never spoke to him again."- Mundane_Tour_3215
You Don't Mess With Family...
"My best friend had just broken up with my brother—who had moved over a thousand miles and changed jobs to be with her—citing personal differences."
"My brother was devastated, but I tried to respect her decision and be a source of support for both of them, especially because they truly weren’t the best fit."
"But then she shared with me, because she knew that I loved her and would be happy for her so long as she was happy, that she’d been cheating on my brother for the past month and had found her soulmate."
"The depth of my brother’s heartbreak, already immense, was further compounded by the infidelity."
"To my bewilderment, she truly couldn’t understand why I was ending the friendship, seemed so distraught that I would end a years long relationship over something so 'small'."
"And I still can’t comprehend why she thought telling me would result in anything other than a complete door slam."
"Hannah, you still suck."
"And I’m still angry."
"I had also asked her to be the maid of 'honor' in my upcoming wedding."
"Ironic."- bitetime
Some friendships can withstand fundamental differences of opinion.
But no friendship is worth hanging onto when people (and kittens) are physically or emotionally harmed.
When you gotta go, you go.
That should be a mantra for getting rid of the toxic people in our lives.
Not every relationship is meant to last forever.
Some people don't know how to be friends.
They are awfully good at pretending though.
Be vigilant of the signs and red flags.
Toxic people are crafty.
And once you're free, never look back.
Redditor _ReDd1T_UsEr wanted to discuss the reasons why many of us decided to cut some people out of our lives, so they asked:
"What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?"
Sometimes a person just has to go.
Planning Stages
Weekend Sunday GIF by DisneyGiphy"I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that."
Witty-Surround-6541
"I once asked a friend to plan our next breakfast + walk outing, since I always did that. He wrote me a letter ending the friendship. Stunning!"
fermat9996
Pants on Fire
"Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate."
Hosscatticus_Dad523
"When you constantly are thinking... this math ain't matching lol. People that lie all the time make me sick. I've told multiple friends that you don't have to lie to me."
"I feel so much better when someone can trust me and feel comfortable telling me a hard truth than an easy lie."
"Even if the truth made me feel some type of way, I'm still glad it was honest. I've even said thank you to people in the past that have been honest with me, good or bad! Some people just can not help lying about things. I wouldn't be able to ever keep a story straight if I did that."
__eden_
Bad Behavior
"He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a 'went out for a pack of smokes' Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now."
KingGuy420
"Reminds me of one of my ex-friends. She kept having kids with MULTIPLE guys (all of them were one-night stands), I don't think she even knows who the baby daddies are."
"She also kept begging me and people for money for pot, and she also bragged about having OnlyFans. She'd also make up stories about being in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend (she'd also cheat on him/tell people her and him they broke up, which they weren't)."
wisconsinking
Reasons
"I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same. I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact."
tabletopsidekick
"I’ve been there. I was a bad person and lost friendships and family relationships. I tried to apologize to everyone I hurt."
PDXGalMeow
"I also accepted that they don’t want me in their lives anymore. I learned that I made my mistakes, I learned from them, and I accept their choices. I don’t self-hate anymore and I try to be a better person in general. I hope you are doing well and practicing self-love and forgiveness."
PDXGalMeow
Money Issues
Donald Duck Money GIFGiphy"I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the $20."
BuickAssault
"I don't ever expect prompt returns of small amounts of money between my friends... we all buy each other rounds or buy the food for the BBQ or whatever. It ends up evening out over time I think we'd notice though if someone was always taking and never giving and then they'd probably get cut off too."
Badloss
In the immortal words of Cyndi Lauper... "Money Changes Everything."
Lack of Support
Happy Planning GIFGiphy"She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her 'business.'"
LeftandLeaving9006
Oh Driver
"I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all."
Bullfrog_Little
"This one I can understand but depends on the situation. Not all of my friends had cars in high school, so our group needed to have me and my sh*tty '94 Plymouth Sundance come, or they couldn't do anything. I didn't mind at all then, but I definitely would these days."
Hoopajoops
"I remember I used to drive around with my buddies all the time before they had licenses. When one of my friends got his and a car I said sweet now you can drive me around for a bit, he replied that he wasn't gonna waste his money on gas like that. See ya, haven't really spoken to him since."
DontcallmeShirley_82
2063
"How's this for oddly specific: Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years."
"Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket."
"Maybe he'll call me in 2063."
The68Guns
Exhausting
"She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around."
LordyIHopeThereIsPie
"I'm going through this right now. Can't tell you how many texts I have from her in the past few days telling me that I need to get over myself, need to stop making myself the victim, have been a terrible friend, have never been there for her."
"She's the most narcissistic person I know and everyone does everything for her. She has one of the easiest lives ever and anytime anything bad happens to her she believes that everyone is against her and she's the victim here. It's pure insanity. There is no talking sense to people like this."
cheeseburgerwaffles
Life Changes
point pointing GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs."
ConcertTerrible8877
"Same here dude. My circle is small but hey at least it's a circle I know I can go to."
Miss_mayonnaise
Oh, how things change when the booze dries up.
How much fun were you really having?
Do you have any stories about cutting off a friend? Let us know in the comments below.