Finding a life partner is hard.

Why do the movies lie to us?

And so many more people are choosing life alone.

I guess that not having to share a bed thing is a real plus.

RedditorTheSilverKnight711wanted to hear from all the single ladies... and gents... and everyone in between. They asked:

"What’s stopping you from having a partner in life?"

I'm just not that into any of it. I'm also tired. That's just me. And you?


For Me GIF by Lil YachtyGiphy

"Me, myself and I."


"Try trusting all three of them."



"Trust issues."


"That’s such a tough way to live. It took me until my 40’s to realize that the main person who didn’t like me was myself. Took me a few years to talk myself around to liking me and then loving me. Now I am able to be less critical of other people too. (If I’m judging others, then I must expect to be judged too) My life is less stressful and I’m actually happy."



"Currently I'm making 0 effort to do so. Haven't been interested in anyone in a while."


"Same, I hate online dating cause I can't tell what peoples personalities are and Im not on most forums of social media. 'Im obviously still on reddit but I have nothing else besides snapchat."

"I also work a lot as well, so pretty much the only time I come in contact with new women in my life is like at the grocery store. I don't drink much but I feel like I need to start hitting bars or college parties or something though. Im not even in college but It seems like it's the only way to meet women around my age without social media."

"Or just approaching random ones in the store. I just feel like unless I just actively 'hunt' for a date I won't ever find one. Which sucks cause I'd rather meet women organically, rather than just trying to hit up someone you see cause they might have potential based on looks."



"The idea that I'm happy by myself."


"It's definitely a confidence thing. People in relationships don't need others' approval nearly as much - this translates to more confident, less needy behavior that signals to others that you're self-assured and comfortable with yourself. That's very appealing."



amanda tanen catwalk GIF by HULUGiphy

"I'm in that awkward in-between area where I've got too much self-worth to settle for someone who's going to ruin my life and not enough self-worth to let a good person love me."


There really is no rhyme or reason to it all. Is there?


annoyed GIFGiphy

"My personality. I get bored really fast, and don’t think it’ll be fair to the other person. My friends say it’s because I haven’t met the right person, maybe true, but I don’t want to risk it."


"the rest of my life"

"Not being able to find someone that I can forsee the rest of my life with."


"When I was dating in the 1970s, 'the rest of my life' was my standard statement to myself. Sure he was great to be around, but could I put up with him for the rest of my life? For my one, yes, except it was for the rest of his life. He died in January after being married for 44+ years. Simple comparison: Could I live with him in lockdown?



"I'm not the best in social situations and I feel like I have nothing to offer."


"Just a heads up: you absolutely have something to offer. Whether you're good at socializing or not, just show someone kindness and respect."

"And be there for them, and if they are available and attracted to you then you'll be everything they need. And I don't mean like you have to be physically 'attractive,' but like the person actually is down to hang out with you. Either way, you have worth and someone would be happy to love the sh*t out of you if you let them. :) "



"I'm a really terrible partner. I've put multiple people through absolute hell, because they have normal expectations in relationship. I require a lot of alone time, sometimes I just want to sleep by myself. sometimes I like traveling by myself. I can get super depressed and withdraw."

"I've learned now that I have to keep things casual and I'm probably not meant to be a typical relationship where you build a life together and live together all the time. Also, I'm sure it's just modeling because my mom and stepdad live separately and just go on dates, so unless I find someone who loves being alone as much as me (unlikely) I guess I'm just over here vibing."


Too Good

Which One Reaction GIF by AudibleGiphy

"Vacillating wildly between 'I'm not good enough for this person, and it’s only a matter of time before they find out,' and, 'I’m too good for this person, I will never be satisfied.' Often, multiple times on the space of a single afternoon."


Ask them to hang out?

"My desire hasn't overtaken the expectations of effort required."


"The effort can be pretty ridiculous. I re-entered the dating pool somewhat recently after being in a relationship for most of my adult life and holy s**t is it terrible. People expect you to know exactly what they want when they want and if you mess anything up then they'll move on to someone else. Ask someone out too early? You're weird. Ask them out too late?"

"They're not interested any more - you missed your chance. Ask them to hang out? Too vague - no. Ask them on a dinner date? Too specific and too much pressure. Everyone has different expectations and people are so unforgiving if you can't figure it out. I'm told pretty frequently that I'm attractive and have other good qualities and yet I'm terrible at dating. The whole process is so confusing and demoralizing. I stopped trying after a while."


I Know this pain...

"Self sabotage."


"I’m very positive I do this unconsciously whenever I date. I seem to be very attracted to people that are either unstable, they don’t know what they want or emotionally immature. It’s like my brain wants me to be alone forever."


at a loss...

"I'm not the kind of sociable that goes out of his way to meet people for that reason. I don't care for bars or parties for instance. It's not that I don't want someone, it's that I don't really know how/what to do. And since I'm a male, it's doubtful a girl would risk it herself and pursue me. So yeah... at a loss."


Today's Crush

Happy Alison Brie GIFGiphy

"Getting hyper-fixations on people and then being disappointed when they are normal people. Just today had a crush on my young orthodontist - like 5/6 years older than me cause he was nice while fitting new retainers."


"I do this except only ever with one person lol. I’ve only ever been truly attracted to one person. I still have a long time so I imagine it’ll happen again, but I still thinks it’s weird when people my age by this point have ex counts in the double digits."


No Interest

"I simply don’t have the energy to provide and love someone unconditionally at this point of time in my life. I want to grow as an individual and love myself first. I choose to not be in a relationship for that purpose because it would be completely unfair for them."


Apps are a joke...

"I have no idea how to meet people. Apps are a joke, I don't drink so I have no reason to be in a bar, and the only friends I have are on discord so no group activity stuff. My one hobby outside of gaming (hiking) is also very solo focused with me not even encountering another person for most of the day... I've just given up and accepted that I'm just not meant to ever find anyone."


I Don't Need You

"The question isn't what's stopping it from happening. It's more that having a life partner is a huge commitment that I don't really want to enter with anyone that I know, nor am I really seeking out someone that could fulfil that role because it's not a net positive to be in a relationship. I really enjoy not being beholden to anyone, and someone would have to overwhelm that for me to want to be with them long term... I think I'd prefer to just have some really good friends."



kevin can wait focus GIF by CBSGiphy

"I'm not in as much of a rush as I used to be. My focus is on patching up the holes in my life so I can love myself first."

"I've been mentally checked out for a while. Too many pressures, too many thoughts, and too much self-neglect. I'm steadily getting back into a comfortable feeling. Just recently started feeling 'capable' again. Maybe someday I'll find someone, but it's no longer a do-or-die event for me."



"I'm at the age where I should have my life figured out at this point, but I don't. My peers are generally already established in life and are rightfully looking for a partner who's on their level. Couple that with bad attachment insecurities, and it would be cruel to get another girl a tangled up in this hot mess haha."

"Anyone in this thread though should look at their reasons and try to work on them earnestly. I am currently and hope to one day get to a place in life that maybe someone might tolerate me long enough to give me some head pats or whatever people in relationships do. It's tough, like really tough, to not have someone for this long, but you can only march forward."


Alone is ok as long as you're ok. So be ok alone.

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