They didn't even have a chance to get all the way to "RateMyProfessor". Once the students sat down in these classes, they immediately wanted to run away.
Here were some of those answers.
Over the winter break of my freshman year I was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disease in my knees which meant I had to use crutches for a while (then eventually a wheelchair for a time).
I was late to my philosophy 101 class (due to adjusting to my newfound limitations). I apologized for my tardiness and tried to find my seat without making a fuss.
As I was making my way across the classroom my philosophy teacher remarked "everyone, let's just patiently wait for the cripple here to get to his seat."
It's possible she had believed I was one of several skiing injuries that the student body had incurred over winter break, but either way after that first day I never came back to that class.
I had a lecturer that did that but it was compounded by the fact that she would have a whole page of text appear on the page letter by letter, with each letter accompanied by either the typewriter or laser sound effect.
At the end of each slide:
"So you can see by that example that clearly what was required was this:"
Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew etc for about 2-3 minutes of everyone just waiting for the pew-pew-pew-ing to conclude so the lecture could resume.
Also, for no apparent reason, she interrupted her own lectures about 3 times to inform us that if you take the glass plate out of the microwave you can cram the whole microwave full of hot dogs wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling and they will all cook just fine.
1: No they won't
2: The course was something to do with computers, and was not hot-dog/microwave related.
Plugging Your Own MaterialsGiphy
"These books are required for the class. I wasn't able to get the revision into the bookstore in time, so the only place you can get them is from me directly or from my website. I will warn you, if you don't buy the books you won't get the login information to be able to take the final, which is 90% of your grade."
"Oh, and no, I can't accept financial aid for them, but it's only $250 so it's not a big deal."
Never seen an entire class get up 5 minutes in and leave before.
I had a professor that in hindsight I really should have dropped. It was a Western Civilization History class, and the first day the entirety of the class he spent talking about how he missed his old job teaching in Europe because "American students are more lazy and incapable of getting as high of grades."
Then he showed intro YouTube videos from his personal laptop hooked to a projector and all of the "Recommend" videos all had titles like "grinding with thong", "sexy college babe grinding", etc.
I thought he was just eccentric, but the guy was easily the worst teacher I ever had. He would expect you to totally memorize all the chapters-- he would quiz on material that didn't matter for concepts. (Ie: What was the name of Caesar's second cousin?)
When the information would be found in a huge family tree. The only students in the class with A's were women, and he would grade their quizzes differently and be MUCH more lenient. (The students compared quiz results.)
Someone in class called him out and he said that he was tired of teaching Americans and doesn't get paid enough. (Literally)
GPA Cuts For Their Ego
Back when I started college, I got straight A+s in a class, but when I went to check on my overall grade, I had a B+, found it odd and went to question my teacher about it, he said that he dropped down my grade because the class was a bit of a pain in the @ss (he didn't use those exact words, but thats what he meant)
Then I questioned him again about my posture, asking if I did anything wrong, or disturbed class or whatever, he promptly said I didn't and that I was a great student, which made me ask again "Why is grade lower then", he told the same excuse from above, then I asked if he was planning on changing my grade at all, since I had only As, and he promply said he wasn't going to change.
Fast forward a few days, I ended up filing a complaint about him and his method of grading students, and the college made him change my grade. After that he approached me and said something like "Hey u/Phorcyss you didn't have to file a complaint about me, I was gonna fix your grade" yada yada.
Just Barely PassedGiphy
I've had teachers that I just simply couldn't understand due to a language barrier and in hindsight I should have dropped immediately. I learned that basically if you can't understand what the teacher is saying, be prepared to teach yourself a lot of the class.
I had an accounting teacher one time who was Chinese and I remember sitting in that class on the first day scratching my head because I had no idea what she was saying. I looked around and a lot of the other people had the same look on their faces.
The next week I showed up to class and what was once a classroom of about 40 people was now about 12. I should have known right there to drop, but I didn't.
I stuck it out and a few weeks go by and it didn't get any better. I got my first test back and completely bombed it. I told myself right then that I was going to have to teach myself the material and that coming to class was pointless.
So I taught myself accounting by using the textbook. Since I didn't go to class I missed all of her pop-quizzes but just told myself I'll make it up on the tests. I only showed up for tests and the final and lo and behold, I passed the class.
Not Thanking You
My main homeroom teacher/English history teacher/etc in middle school constantly returned my homework for 0 credit, unless and until I re-wrote everything to her standards of penmanship. I had wavy cursive, but not illegible writing, and also WTF mrs Eisner??
She once told me, "Someday when you're grown up you'll thank me for this."
And I thought, no I won't, you *ss.
Am now grown up. Still think she was an *ss.
There was this tiny little teacher's aide in my class, Carla. She was really quiet and nice and was just as bullied by the teacher as we were.
Right after college, I was teaching art classes and running field trips at a children's museum. Carla came in as a teacher with her own class of students, and we recognized each other and had a happy minute catching up.
I sort of roundabout brought up Eisner, not wanting to be impolite, and Carla goes "Oh! She was such a b*tch!" Yes, yes she was. Damn that was validating.
Seems Defensive But Ok
A prof who is clearly off his meds.
Over the course of my one month in the class, he was constantly rude and unbelievably condescending to literally everyone.
Example: We were on a section talking about multiple sclerosis and how its signals misfire from the brain. A student said "my cousin has MS and says this is how he was told what was happening. Is that correct?".
Prof gets red in the face and yells "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR COUSIN WITH MS!" and proceeds to rant about how interrupting him with stupid questions is a waste of his time. He never answered the question.
During the second week, less that half the class showed up (or a noticeable chunk). He yelled at us that DID show up about how disrespectful it was, then said we would have to learn this section on our own and that we would be heavily tested on it, then stormed out of class. There was no participation mark in the class.
Also, he stated at the beginning of the semester that more that 50% of students dropped his course. Our grades consisted of a 40% midterm and a 60% final.
I took the midterm before dropping the class. It was the hardest test i have ever taken in my life. He expected us to answer questions that we hadn't been taught.
When confronted, he said "you should always be applying the course material to future study". Class average on that was 15%. Highest mark was 68%. Next highest was 32%. He doesn't scale.
Want to complain? Talk to the head of the department. SURPRISE! He is head of the department. HotD can only be held for 2 year. He managed to hold it for 4 due to a loophole or something (no department head wanted to upset him probably).
Yes, he had been required by the university to take meds to keep his job. I don't think he ever actually took them.
Well, Maybe Teach InsteadGiphy
When I was 18 I took a Beauty Therapy and Science class. One of the units we had was business studies, I had previously sat an A Level in business so I still had notes and books left over.
We didn't have the usual business teacher because she was signed off sick (Cancer I believe) so instead of getting a qualified teacher in, the department bought in a beauty salon manager. Knew nothing about teaching but thought she knew everything about business.
First class we have, she's doing the "Introduce yourself" thing, then she asks "Who in this class is a Leo?" I raise my hand and its only me .... "Oh because in my star signs I ALWAYS clash with Leos. Sorry". Ok so we have a crazy b*tch, the class is sat in a stunned silence as I simply say "Ok cool"
The time comes to write the assignment for the class and me being savvy I used my old business class notes and books and hand it in with the biggest smile on my face.
Results day. Everyone passes with high marks all except me. She has me up in front of my head tutor for "Plagiarism" and "She's clearly copied and pasted all of this from the internet" my head tutor explained that I "has sat a A-level in business so she should know what she's talking about"
My head tutor re-marked my paper and passed it with a high merit. I later told her about what was said, regarding the star signs and how I felt attacked due to some insignificant fact about my birth sign.
Next lesson she announces she's "Leaving due to my teaching methods being questioned and having a complaint" whilst glaring at me, the rest of the class was relieved.
Segregation And Racism
If they segregate students
I had an American history class where on the first day the teacher told everyone that no one was to sit in the furthest left row of seats.
Those seats were reserved for the what she called idiots. Idiots were people who arrived late for class.
My class before this ended five minutes before this class did and was on the other side of campus. I took the safe route and dropped the class.
This was before the school made it a rule that you had to have ten minutes between classes, and the professor was an adjunct professor.
On an unrelated note I had an English teacher at this same school that thought when someone had a number on the back window of their car, a number the dmv makes you put there due to some issue with your registration, it meant they were bad drivers and essentially on notice.
She thought this because she said she had only ever seen Asian drivers with them. The girl who explained what it actually meant knew because she had had one, and was also Asian.
That last teacher I know for a fact no longer works as a teacher.
I had some issues with my schedule and wasn't registered for a particular course on the first day of class, so I registered and attended on the second day.
He had already paired up the class into groups of 3-4 on day 1 for a project that would span the entire course and count for a large part of our grade.
When I asked if I could be joined into a smaller group he told me no, that I could do the work solo for the semester. I was peeved, but needed that course as a prerequisite for something I needed next semester so I silently fumed.
After week 2 I had "failed" two reports because he just didn't like what I wrote. Not that the reasoning, research, or writing was unsound- he just didn't like the subject so he gave me failing grades.
I dropped the class, took it with another teacher the next semester, and graduated a semester late because of it.
I don't regret it. He was a horrible teacher and I'm sure my mental health would have suffered if I had continued in his class.
"We'll be doing 3 group projects this semester. I will assign the group and it will be the same group for all 3 projects." NOPE.
Call A Doctor
I had a sociology class where during the introductory lecture the professor went on a tangent about how since she has a doctorate if she was ever on a plane and someone asked "is there a doctor on board" she would say she was a doctor.
If you didn't call her "Dr." she would ignore you. She stated that holding a doctorate in sociology should carry the same clout as being an MD.
No disrespect to sociologists or anyone with a PhD but those are not the same things. She went on other rants about how nobody has ever gotten a 4.0 in her class and she was proud of it.
It was the worst class I've ever taken. She was just an insecure nutcase with a PhD on a power trip. I barely passed. Oh and the course text was of course her own book.
Saw a course at my college called "Digital Media and American Culture." Sounds neat, I thought, I'll go to a lecture during the shopping period.
The professor is 10 minutes late, an 80-year-old man, who gets up and literally asks a student in the front to tell him how many Facebook friends she has and then "how many REAL friends do you have?!"
Was flabbergasted when he asked if anyone in the classroom had read "1984" and most of the class raised their hands. He was 100% convinced that millennials never pick up books anymore.
Christ. Was the class held on his lawn, and was he late because he had to yell at a cloud?
I once had a professor say "you get 2 absences this semester. More than 2 and you fail. It doesn't matter what the excuse is."
Sorry, with older relatives who were sick and dying... and not being a psychic myself to know whether or not I'd get sick or if I'd forget to set an alarm, or any number of unforeseeable things... that level of rigidity and unwillingness to compromise isn't worth it.
Had a class where we were allowed three absences. I got bronchitis and used them up about mid way through the semester but towards the end of the semester I got a concussion from passing out during an asthma attack and I wasn't allowed to look at screens, read, listen to music, draw, exercise (this included my 1.5mile walk to campus), or think too hard for a week and a half.
When I was able to go back to class, I brought him the paperwork from the hospital but he just told me to "read the syllabus" and wouldn't even look at my medical papers saying that i wasn't allowed to go to class.
My grade went from an A+ to a B-. And the thing was, it was a lecture hall with 200 students so it's not like there was any group participation or anything. And it was a 100 level class mostly for freshman.
I'll Stay In Bed ThanksGiphy
Professor was semi-retired. One of his conditions for coming out of full retirement was all his courses had to be done by 9AM so he could still enjoy his day.
No one passed his 7AM advanced calculus classes...
This is where the "office" part of office hours applies.
Doesn't speak clear English and doesn't hold office hours. (This is for a University in USA)
PS: Holding office hours but never being there doesn't help anyone. By appointment only... but having zero availability also doesn't help anyone.
Hey, you were warned.
I had a biology class with a professor who wore a fanny pack and had stains on his shirt. On the first day, he said that the class would require at least 4 hours of studying every day.
The professor also said that he didn't mind "crushing our dreams" and giving us an F. The class was full at the beginning and ended with 3 students.
Sounds like the only dreams that were crushed were his own.
Probably has tenure and only needed to grade 3 papers. They're living the dream.
Source: had 500 students last semester.
Success is lovely revenge.Giphy
I had an accounting professor tell us that there was no way you could get an A in her class with a full time course load and a part time job.
I remember being infuriated because I supported myself and had a full time job and a full time course load. I would have dropped it if it she wasn't the only prof that taught it.
I got an A and felt super smug. But I still have nightmares about that class.
Professor Potty Mouth, tenured at Trump University
In retrospect, if the instructor casually says dumb, inappropriate sh*t.
Look, I'm all for an environment in which instructors can have fun, relate to students, not just teach course material out of a textbook. Those teachers are awesome. When I say "inappropriate", I don't mean telling a few jokes here or there.
I mean: talking about his "dog-faced" ex-wife on the first day of class. Yup. Good chance the dude is a huge narcissist who will waste time patting himself on the back instead of teaching, and designing tests to purposely trick students just so he can feel clever about being right. (Only had this happen once, but the guy was the worst.)
or I mean: when a teacher tries to be too relatable, tries to sell him/herself outside of an educational context, and eventually sends you a Facebook message earlier asking if you want to come by his place later. For some drinks. When you're 18 years old. (Also happened to me!)
Test after test after test after test after test...
They hand out the syllabus and you see that the first 4 chapters are covered in week 1 with an exam scheduled for week 2. And then, upon further examination, you realize that this is a recurring theme for the next 15 weeks...NOPE!
More red flags than a golf course.Giphy
From one I just dropped:
-no exams, at all
- a ten page paper was worth 50% of the mark and the other 50% was from giving a presentation to the classes
- there were two extremely expensive textbooks, which she told us at length about how hard they were to find and that the bookstore didn't have any (she said she called the publisher and even they didn't have any copies)
-the textbooks were required starting next week and the discussions would be based off of the textbook readings (the fastest shipping would still take at LEAST two weeks to get the books there!!)
-she was very condescending and rude
-said that if we didn't have prior background into <subject> it would be an extremely steep learning curve (but there wasn't a prereq for the class in <subject>)
I bet she says, "Eebeetha."
"You'll have to forgive me if I don't understand your American sentiments, as an international, I'm unfamiliar with your culture."
Stated by a woman who lived in America till the age of twelve. She thought she was the most intelligent person because she'd been able to live abroad. Worst professor I've had.
Linux class: I'm a hired consultant and I've never used Linux before. Thanks ITT Tech, please discharge my fraudulent student loan debt now.
There's an app for that.Giphy
"You should learn how to do everything long hand" The exact quote from my Grad School finance professor. Yup- time value of money calculations without a calculator....
I get the thought that you should know the mechanics, but let's be honest if your accountant started doing math with pencil and paper you would run. Dropped that class after bombing the first test. Took it again the next semester and the first day the he passed out the cheat sheets for every brand of calculator made. Solid A- that time
I had a teacher that I loved but everyone hated.
My economics teacher was an absolute madman.
first day of econ-
Madman- " FIRST RULE!.. ANY AND ALL CELLPHONES ARE TO REMAIN OFF!. IF I SEE YOU USING THEM, I WILL THROW THEM OUT THE DOOR!"
madman looks at class.. grabs cellphone and throws it out the door
Madman- " didn't need to talk to my wife anyway! "
Just a little nuts.
I had a counseling professor (of all people) try to assert that there is no way of knowing that mental illnesses are real, so we shouldn't have to treat them as such.
That's absolutely absurd, so I asked him his opinion on the use of brain scans to show trends in the brain function of people with a mental illness (depression, adhd, schizophrenia, etc) in comparison to healthy brains. He didn't have one.
So I dropped that class and ran. Took it again at the same school with a different professor, and he basically admitted that the other guy was a little nuts
I've made a huge mistake.Giphy
first week of class has homework that takes 10 hours to do
Professor: "The assignment last time was simple to get you up and running. We'll have longer ones starting this week"
"You should take this teacher, if you just show up for the final he will give you a passing grade."
Fresh out of HS me thought that this sounded great. First day of class, 45 chairs in the class are all full and there are people lining the wall to get in.
Fast forward to the final, me and maybe 10 other people attend. I pass the class, even though the teacher was awful. This was precalculus.
I show up to Calculus the next semester. First class, "We'll review the stuff you'll need to know from your pre-cal class to succeed in this class. Here's a practice worksheet."
I couldn't do a single problem, I had not learned a thing from my precal class and knew that I would have to retake it. In the long haul it pushed me from my science major to a liberal arts major. Would not recommend.
A D! You did it!
In an English class for the 12th grade, I was handed back an essay and with it a mark of 64% (hard teacher but I'm not the best at English) with this mark was a comment that read "Excellent Work!". That's when I knew, this b!tch was Lucifer.
To be fair, I came into the class not speaking the language so was learning chemistry and German at the same time.
When you have to buy *their* books.Giphy
A red flag that the teacher has a really bad ego problem is if they require you buy their books. Especially if they ONLY recommend books they've written.
Yes, you are the ONLY person who has ever written about James Baldwin. No one else has anything remotely worth adding to the conversation. Also, using your students as a means of increasing your sell numbers/making more money is a sh*tty, egotistical thing to do.
How cunning linguists are made.
So my senior year I took this Intro to Applied Linguistics class. I had learned a couple languages by that point, it was my last semester of school, and it was my only real class - I was writing a thesis and taking a directed readings.
I was taking this class as an elective having already finished my major simply to keep me at enough credits to stay on campus. Nonetheless, it was something I was really interested in, and was excited for.
The first day I and about 25 other students show up and the professor walks in with what must have been a 20 page syllabus. An unbelievable amount of reading, assignments every week, group projects, online blogs, you name it.
We spend the first session just going through the syllabus, maybe make it halfway. It was bordering on unreasonable, potentially impossible, but I'm stubborn and I had very little else on my plate that semester and I figured why not stick it out. Might actually learn something.
First class was on Thursday, next meeting was on Tuesday. When I walk in all of a sudden the class was only about 12 people - more than half of the other students had dropped.
The professor walks in, smiles, and says "Good! It worked! Now I know that you all actually give a sh!t. Take out your syllabi, we have some trimming to do."
Spent the next 20 minutes crossing things off, changing dates and literally ripping entire pages out of the syllabus. It was glorious.
That class ended up being one of those rare classes that was easy as hell, yet intellectually challenging and enjoyable all at the same time. As far as I'm concerned, that prof is a genius.
I have gotten my entire degree taking online classes from the University of Houston and their are two things that scream "drop this class."
- You are required to log on to blackboard at least 3 days a week. — I didn't register for an online class because I've got ample hours in my day to log on and do school work I take online classes because I have the ability to successfully compete weeks worth of work in 1 day.
- You are required to use lockdown browser for exams and have your webcam on and you must give me a tour of the entire room with the camera and the volume must be on and it must be during normal working hours. — nah no one invades my privacy and my normal working hours are 11am to 9pm not much I can do about taking an exam before 5pm.
"If you arrive late then you're absent"
This is also isn't reflective of how the real world works. If you're at your job and you're five minutes late for a meeting, you can't just blow it off entirely. You have to go in, own up to your lateness like an adult, and try to catch up.
This is also isn't reflective of how the real world works.
That's all of college.
Sure, seems fair.
Let me tell ya'll a story from second year university. I had a course that started in second semester, and due to weather the first class had to be cancelled.
Okay, that's unfortunate, but obviously not the teacher's fault. She sends out a class wide email saying "here are the slides I would have shown today, can you all please read through them in preparation for tomorrow?" Okay, seems reasonable enough, I can understand that.
But then I'm reading through those slides I found this, which I'm going to quote to the best of my memory:
"If the class misbehaves the homework assignments will get longer and more difficult, and the final exam will get more difficult."
Excuse me? I have literally never met you and you're already threatening me? What the f---? So yeah, to answer your question: that.
I had a French professor who said to me, "you're not on the streets anymore" because I was the only Black person in the class.
Chemistry is the Devil's magic.Giphy
I was taking a general chemistry class and a fellow student asked a pretty great question. I had the same question but I can't remember exactly what it was.
Our professor, who by the way was a very nice and brilliant man, answered it with "You should have learned that in your physics class" and then continued on with the lecture.
I didn't need to take physics for my major... The next class session was our first exam and that specific question was on the exam, class average was 44%. I dropped the class the next day.
A term paper in physics...
I took a physics class when I was in college. Day one, I am paging through the syllabus (which was like 5 pages long by the way) and I see that there's a 5 page paper due later that week.
I asked the professor if that was a mistake. He said it was not. I dropped the class that afternoon.
Edit: This post is getting a lot of attention so I will address what seems to be a common theme in replies I am getting. I agree that a five page paper is not a large amount of work.
The red flag was more about the fact that there was a term paper assigned for a hard science like physics. I did not need the class to graduate, I only took it because I was interested in it. So I decided it was probably not the right fit for me.
Can't block bad vibes.
When he pulls a cell signal blocker from his briefcase on the first day of class. Yes this actually happened to me. Half way through the semester he went on a 3 week vacation and we had a stand in prof.
Learned more from the stand-in prof then the actual prof.
When the prof says "you guys will not need to learn X" and proceed to skip some important topic. I was getting a business degree majoring in IT.
We had a programming class and our professor said "you guys aren't comp science majors you wont need to know this". He proceeded to skip constructors in a java course.
Your debt hard at work.Giphy
I had a teacher that was consistently late for every single class. It wasn't 5 minutes late, it was more like 30-45 minutes late every time. When students wanted to complain about her tardiness to the department, she would respond with, "Go ahead. I have tenure anyways. It won't do a thing."
A group project worth a substantial amount of your grade.
F*ck group projects.
Two years in and I've only had one group project, which is even more difficult in an online degree program. Everyone was great except one guy, kept arguing about the topic (which he joined the group based on the topic) elected himself group leader, kept asking everyone to get their sh*t done, didn't even contribute to the final piece of the project. F*ck you Maurice!
The amount of frivolous personal complaints seems to have hit new levels.
Whether it's complaints from co-workers or customers, nonsense is nonsense. The things I've heard people complain about in the workplace boggles my mind.
"Your smile isn't bright enough."
"I didn't feel appreciated."
"The color of your shirt is too loud."
"Your name is offensive."
Redditor InfiniteCalendar1 wanted to hear about some of the drama that's been thrown people's way, so they asked:
"What is the most ridiculous thing someone has filed a complaint against you or someone you know about?"
I once had a customer complain I didn't read the menu to her.
Not make suggestions, but literally read the menu to her.
"you guys have a great day"Giphy
"Working in retail I once said 'you guys have a great day' I was reported by an elderly women who objected to not being addressed as 'ma'am'."
"She also objected to 'have a great day' because she had come into the aquarium store because her fish was dead and she was upset that someone would tell her to 'have a great day' when her fish had died."
A measly grand?
"I got sued in small claims court by a mentally ill man who said I stole $1000 worth of roast beef and 2 sun tanning lights from him."
"It got continued twice and by the time we had our day in court, he forgot what he sued me for and just went off on a tirade about me being an a**hole."
"I once had a complaint filed against me for calling someone a slur in the elevator. My boss called me in, and we watched the camera footage from the elevator."
"Me and the other person were talking and having a good conversation and laughing with each other. My boss just said 'yeah I watched it earlier and I have no idea what they are talking about'."
"So someone tried to get me fired for no reason."
(manager and up)
"I once was told there was a high-level (manager and up) meeting being held about me… on account of my emails being written too well. :/ "
"I can write quick, well-worded emails, and someone in upper management thought that I must have been spending too much time writing my emails, possibly as a means of appearing to be superior to others."
"I worked at McDonalds. A man put a complaint in because I wouldn't let him in after we'd already shut."
Yeah, closed means closed.
You had time to get there during open hours. See you tomorrow.
We have lives too.
No thank you...Giphy
"Got a complaint filed against me by a customer for unnecessary rudeness because I turned down a guy's offer to take me out on a date."
"He asked me (repeatedly) while I was working. Dude was at least in his mid 40s; I was 16."
a scarlet letter...
"When I was a teenager working at an ice cream store, a secret shopper wrote that I was 'friendly but did not smile'."
"This write up was posted on the bulletin board like it was a scarlet letter of shame and the manager talked to me about smiling more."
"30 years later, I am still friendly but unsmiling."
A Little Off
"I had a coworker from a different department call me this morning and threatened me for something his boss had done regarding something I have no control over."
"I eventually got him to sheepishly admit that there was nothing I had control over in the situation and he was mad his boss had made the decision without consulting him first."
"Government work attracts some odd balls."
I hate retail!
"I was working in a lighting store (ceiling lights, chandeliers, etc). Secret shoppers would get sent over to us every so often and they were usually pretty obvious."
"This guy claimed he needed ceiling fans for his home so I go through the whole thing finding fans that work in his rooms, suit the design of his home, airflow needs, etc. But obviously without a specific need to buy something requiring electrical wiring this guy left without purchasing."
"He wrote that I was excellent in every way but didn't try to upsell him anything."
"At the next staff meeting the manager read this out, tried shame me in front of everyone and stressed that we need to try and sell people crap they don't even need."
"How the heck do I upsell a damn ceiling fan? 'Hey would you like a $2000 crystal chandelier with your fans? How about a set of garden lights?' I hate retail."
Stay Literate...Read Friends Tv GIFGiphy
"I once had a coworker file an HR complaint against me for reading books at lunch."
"I told HR that he's probably just offended I'm not reading hardcore pornography magazines on the clock like he does."
I'm so glad I work at home with only dogs and a cat.
And when I go outside I avoid eye contact for all of these reasons.
Find some inner peace folks.
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Death is coming for all of us.
I hate that fact about life, so I do my best to ignore it. But I know it's there. So every once in a while I can't help but wonder about it.
My biggest hope is the end is quick and painless, but some warning would be nice, so I have time to do a few things.
I often ponder what that list of "things" would entail if I was given a warning.
And what if that ending was coming fast? How do you sufficiently spend a few hours wrapping up a life?
Redditor Valleygawd wanted to hear about how we would spend those final, precious moments by asking:
"You have 24 hours left alive, what do you do for your last day on earth?"
"Say goodbye to all my friends, go outside and take my dog on a long walk and then back home to have pizza and await my fate."
"Eat McDonald's at a Burger King. What they gonna do, send me to jail for life."
"I'd buy two large fries and two large cokes at Mcdonald's and take them over to Burger King and order two whoppers for lunch."
"I know this is satire, but a buddy of mine once got kicked out of a McDonald's lobby for bringing in KFC. We were all in high school and meeting to do homework but instead we all ended up leaving."
You've Got Mail
"Send out a chain message to everyone I know saying that if you don't share this with 10 people, the person you received this message from will die tomorrow."
"Plus add on that if the people they share it to don't share it to 10 other people, they will die themselves."
"If I'm guaranteed 24 hours alive I will do a ton of extremely dangerous crap because I can't die until the 24 hours are up."
"Morphine drip is how a lot of us go anyhow. Doesn't seem so bad."
Well that should keep the time lively, but I don't understand doing things that could cut short what little time there already is.
To each their own, I guess.
Out & AboutGiphy
"If I'm gonna die, then they might as well know. I'm coming out, doing what I want for once and having the most comforting day in my life."
Expose it All
"Tell everyone I love how I feel and then get all my passwords and crap in order so people can close out all my online activities. Then go hold my wife until I die... well, probably I'll go sit in the emergency room to die so my wife doesn't have to remember me dying in her arms the rest of her life."
"Rack up as much debt as I can buying expensive things and hiding them for my family to find later (after the estate has been sorted out)."
"Makes me wonder if I have 50k in CC debt and 75k in the bank, does my family get all 75 or will the bank be legally entitled to get 50k back?"
"The banks get 50k and your family gets the leftovers. If you don't have enough money then your estate is dissolved and your family gets nothing, the debt goes away (unless someone tricks your fam into paying the debt with their money)."
Send the Message
"Spend the 24 hours with my kids and family cultivating a few last precious memories for them. Also a few hours staving off sleep recording messages for them to be able to listen to when they are older - things they aren't old enough to hear, but I would like them to hear from me when they are ready for the message."
I don't know anymore...
"Well, I wouldn't live long enough to face the consequences for whatever I do, so I'd do some things I see as bad ideas at the moment:"
"I'd cuss out my most hated person in the world. Forget that guy."
"I'd tell my best friend (former best friend? I don't know anymore...) how I feel about them, and apologize for hiding it."
"Other than that, I dunno what I'd do, maybe spend time with friends or family or panic. Make sure to let everyone know that I wouldn't be around much longer."
Where to Begin?Giphy
"Fix my will, delete all electronics, call a firm to take my stuff to goodwill, call a real estate agent and put apartment for sale, give my organs to hospital. And if time, I reckon a good nap and massage would be nice too."
Is there really a best way to spend your last 24 hours?
You can't travel, that's time consuming. There will always be so much more to do.
Que será, será, I suppose.
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You never really know the people you meet.
Sound a little too much? You'd be surprised.
Who was the most dangerous person you've meet?
You can meet people randomly, anywhere, who might possess more than what's on the surface. Either their past, or their present, dictates their capabilities, and if you say or do the wrong thing, they could lash out at you at any moment.
Say More Right Now!
"My ex. He was handsome and charismatic and very charming. Like a monster in beautiful sheep's clothing. Suddenly after a few fingers of Brandy, he made Charles Manson look inviting. It took 4.5 years, a hostage situation, a SWAT team, and me changing my name and moving 5 states to get away."
"Some people need warning labels."
Needing Something To Help Change
"A guy who I knew for a long time, was extremely friendly and overall a nice guy, we used to live in the same building but didn't hang out often."
"Time passed and I didn't see him for years, though he headed back to the state his family lives at, pretty far from where I live, instead, I learned after he got released that he went to prison for 7 years for drug dealing and [selling] illegal guns, turns out the guy was kind of a big shot in organized crime [around] the area, never suspected a thing."
"Now days he did a completely 180°, his daughter was born and he's working in a honest job, I'm glad things are looking better for him, still kinda weird, I used to play soccer with the guy and thought I knew him well, when in fact I knew nothing about him..."
Not Full Of It
"So seems like everyone is naming off various criminals. I was in the military (not me or any of my close buddies, I was a mechanic). One of the instructors in my training company was a sniper with many deployments and a slew of confirmed kills. Sometimes instructors like to hype themselves or fellow instructors up to scare recruits. Well I ended up running into him a few years later on deployment and turns out he was indeed not full of sh-t. He was about to board one of birds to go out on a mission. One that ended being "successful". Also, outside of boot camp, he was a very calm and genuinely nice guy. Unless you were the enemy of course"
"I once met a violent felon from England who had just been released from prison. My cousin took me to a random house party, I started a conversation with the other person that seemed awkward there. Turns out they had just been released from prison recently for violent offense. To make matters worse, instead of flashing him the peace sign as I left, apparently I made a vulgar gesture and I had to get to the vehicle quickly."
It's always the ones you least expect, right? The ones who are maybe a little too quiet, or maybe a little too nice, who reveal themselves to be the most deadly.
A Lot For Someone Under 18
"Grew up with a kid on my street in a small town. He was a few years older than kinda a punk as a kid, but we all were. Used to skateboard, rollerblade and he would show me Explicit music when I was too young to get it myself. Come high school time we never really associated because he had gotten heavily into drugs. Got into a bad meth deal and went back and blew their heads off a few blocks from our houses… After the whole story came out, it turns out they had tied him to a chair and burnt him with cigarettes repeatedly. Obviously killing someone is wrong but, I'm fairly certain a child doesn't deserve full punishment for killing 2 men who tortured him. I'm pretty sure he got life in prison before he even turned 18"
Almost Hired Them
"We had a young carpenter come to our home to discuss a remodeling job when we had young children."
"Very soon afterward there was an article in the newspaper about him - how he had been accidentally released from prison. He had murdered a small child, and was sent back to jail."
"I've always wondered what could have happened if we had hired him, and our children had been rambunctious and annoyed him....."
Not Where I'm Supposed To Be
"Some guy I met in county jail. GP was filled up, so they put me on the psych floor. I figured he was just there for a minor thing because he didn't seem like a bad guy. Turns out he killed two people over a drug deal gone bad. Dismembered their bodies then just left them like that in an open field to send a message."
"Why were you in the same pod as them? What crimes were you in for damn"
"Warrant for unpaid speeding tickets. Back then, county was so full, they just put you wherever there's space to fit a new body. They didn't care."
You Think You Know Someone...
"The security guard at my office building was the nicest guy. Always greeted everyone by name, always remembered little details about people, like, "Hey, how is your dog doing? Did everything check out at the vet?" And so on. Told me he was patrolling the lot, and noticed the air in my tires was getting a bit low, and to be careful."
"One morning, he came in, was telling jokes, smiling as always."
"Later that evening found out he had killed his wife and young son the night before, and came into work like nothing happened!"
Never Let Age Or Stature Indicate Capability
"Something similar happened to me. This girl I wouldn't say was scary in the sense of stature or physically scary at all, though she was pretty weird. So I worked at phone store a couple years ago and she came in with her mom, she's probably high school aged if I recall correctly, so they come in and this is the 2nd time in a week or so so I help them out again, they buy 2 phones and 2 smart watches and finance it all on their account, both happy as can be laughing and making conversation."
"I show up to work the next day and my manger is talking about something in the news, apparently [Insert girls name] had taken her best friend out into the woods and shot her in the back of the head the day before she came in and bought some stuff from me. I spent probably a good 2 hours with her. Pretty crazy stuff."
Dungeons & Dragons & Murder
"Similar - A guy I used to play D&D with ran the game from his basement. He told us one week to move our stuff from the table to a shelf if we were going to leave it there because he was going to do "spring cleaning" in the late summer. The room looked clean but what ever. He "forgot" to do it that week and had us to it the next week (2nd friday). Then the third friday when we gamed again he got a call from the cops asking if he knew anything about his ex from 10 years ago that was missing. He told us all he had nothing to do with it. That following monday he was swated, the cops searched his house and took his truck. A month later they found an odd stop on his trucks GPS. After checking that stop they found her body."
"The entire time he was acting like his normal self other then "being tired from cleaning". He is now sitting in jail. I wrote him once. He acts like nothing is wrong and that he will be out "soon" even though its been a full year. I hope he rots."
You never know who you're talking with.
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Humans can connect with everything.
Which fictional character's death made you cry?
Let's get the notable ones out of the way, the ones that hit us as kids that we've never truly gotten over.
Feeling That Real World Connection
"Sirius Black; I sobbbbbbed my first read through of Order of the Phoenix ."
"As someone who's parents are dead and who's uncle became the parent by default, I can't agree more with this. I watched his death while running on the treadmill the other day and had to stop because I was crying from all orifices"
The Song Is Called "Married Life." You're Welcome.
"Ellie from Up! "
"Gets me every time"
Gotta Watch Them Bees
"Too many to count but I remember crying my eyes out at the end of My Girl when I was like, seven or eight watching it on VHS, probably the first character death that made me cry"
"His glasses! He can't see without his glasses." Gets me EVERY time"
Just When You Think There's Only One To Deal With...
"Tara from Buffy"
"Also Joyce, I bawled my eyes out"
"I'm showing Buffy to a friend for the first time and Joyce's death basically just happened. Buffy's reaction is so heartbreaking. We watched Once More With Feeling last night so Tara's death is only a few episodes away now. I'm dreading it."
Maybe it's the nature of the death, or how we feel a character didn't deserve their untimely fate, that resonates with us the most. "They didn't deserve that!" we'll scream to no one because we're in a theater or at home, watching Netflix at 3 in the morning.
You Know There's Only Going To Be One
"Ali in squid game"
"I actually cried"
"There are other scenes that made me cry in the show, but Ali's is the only one that's literally so goddamn hard for me to watch."
I'm Tired, Boss
"John Coffey from The Green Mile."
"Ughhh. It's "Don't put me in the dark boss, I'm scared of the dark" gets me every time. That and hanks grabbing his hand."
That's Somehow Worse Than Crying?
"Leslie in Bridge to Terabithia"
"I didn't cry, but I still remember vivid dreams about trying to find her in a search party on more than one occasion."
And then there's these, characters who sacrificed everything for the ensuring safety of their friends, family, and loved ones.
Men Are Imperfect
"Borimir, he died with honor, you wanna make a man cry show him a gripping scene of a man restoring his honor and being strong in the face of great adversity at the cost of his own life. The scene with him as he dies holding aragorns hand asking forgiveness and receiving it, im tearing up rn f-ck."
"Disappointing how far I had to scroll to find this response."
"Boromir was a true representative of mankind. An extremely complex character that was good at heart, but was overcome with desperation. He didn't know what would happen with his community and acted how he thought was right."
"At the end of the day, he did the right thing when his friends were in danger."
"One of the best characters ever to be created. He causes such internal strife for me every time I watch the movies. Depending how my life is at the time, I will agree with different aspects of his actions. But at the end of the day I will always respect him and cry when he dies."
He Might Have Been Your Father...
"Since I watched it again last night, Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. The Ravager funeral always gets to me, especially Kraglin's reaction to it."
"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy!"
"My wife had a six year old daughter when we met. She'd gone no contract with the father when my step daughter was 2 because he was unstable and had violent tendencies. My step daughter tracked him down when she was about 14 and started rebuilding their relationship. He'd gotten mental health treatment in the twelve years since my wife met him, so we were okay with this and she even went live with him for a while. That didn't last because he didn't have the patience to cope with the unique challenges of being a parent to her (she has her own mental health issues) and she came back home, saying that she was glad to have gotten to know him but that I was her real dad."
"Yeah, I ugly cried in the theater when Yondu died."
You Can Rest, Now
"Tony Stark, he was the first hero I watched in high school. By the time he died, I realized I'd known the guy through movies for over 10 years at that point. I had graduated college, grad school, and started a new job. All those memories of my friends learning how to play the iron man theme song were some of the best years."
"This one was harsh. I was not expecting it."
"And then you start thinking about his kid and Pepper who he left behind. Damn, I'm going to get choked up thinking about it."
I'm not crying.
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