People Share The Real Reason Behind Their Last Breakup
When love is on the rocks and there's no salvaging a relationship, it's better for a couple to call it splits.
Sometimes the reason for a breakup is obvious.
Other times, it's more complicated.
But the people involved going their separate ways is better than staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
Having no communication is the worst part.
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.
Reddit user T_A_C_T_B asked: 'People that have seen people die, what happened?'
Content Warning: death, accidents, illness.
Death is typically the worst thing that we experience while watching a film or reading a book, but some of us have had the terrible experience of witnessing someone else's death in real life.
Redditor T_A_C_T_B asked:
"People that have seen people die (not in a video but actually in front of you), what happened?"
"Clinically died, but resuscitated."
"I worked in an ER for a month, he rolled in with an AV block so bad, he had an asystole."
"I've seen him gasping for air, then his eyes going out of focus and looking up, and then stopped breathing."
"Chest compressions and dobutamine got him back up. He got an emergency pacemaker implant."
"This is my cousin's story."
"He was five at the time. His mom (my first cousin) was putting him to bed and then she collapsed. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was just barely breathing."
"He ran downstairs to get help. They called 911, but it was too late. She had a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her lungs. Her lungs started filling with blood. She was gone just like that."
"My mom (her aunt) was on the phone the whole time. I can never get the sound of my mom crying out of my head. It’s the worst sound a kid could ever hear. I was 13 when this happened."
"After that, any time someone had an ache, I was afraid it was a blood clot. Because that’s how my cousin's death started."
"I always have a feeling one of my parents would get into some accident. My dad is a farmer and I heard way too many stories about farming accidents. I experienced way too many people's funerals for my age at the time and death just felt like it was right there. Like it could happen to my friends and family so soon."
"That day changed my life forever. You couldn’t pay me to relive that night."
The Phone Calls
"I heard my grandma coughing and went to check on her. She was stuck in bed I’m not sure how long. Covered in vomit. I tried to help her to the bathroom and I saw the life leave her face. She dropped."
"I did CPR. I got my dad. I called 911. I showed the ambulance which one was my house."
"I saw them shock her. I heard them call time of death. An hour later, my uncle yelled in my face for not calling him first. I was 11."
"I'm an RN, and it happens all the time. Usually they're unconscious already and they just go from looking asleep to not breathing."
"I held my Dad's hand as he passed from lung cancer. My mother held his other hand, and he took his oxygen mask off, knowing what that meant."
"When he started to make some noises and take breaths after he passed, my mother thought he was 'coming back,' and it was heartbreaking. I just had to tell her that this is what happens. He was ready, it was just that we weren't ready to lose him."
"It was (and I know how terrible this sounds) a relief when it was over. He was very clear beforehand he didn't want to be on any machines, it was fully his choice to take off the mask himself, and it was his right to have that choice."
"I miss him every day; he was my Superman, and I'm grateful that I had the chance to thank him for being the best dad in the world."
"If you've lost somebody close or are struggling with grief, I'll save you the platitudes but I'd like to share one thing I found helpful to remember: we don't ever get over losing someone we love so much, but we do learn to adapt and adjust day by day."
"Grief counseling is more helpful than you'd think. My Superman dad arranged for my mother and me to have grief counseling before he died because he knew we were struggling to accept we would lose him, and he was fine and accepted what was happening. It really helped."
Surrounded by Family
"Me, my mom, and my sisters watched my dad die. It was the 'died peacefully surrounded by family' that you often see in obituaries."
"He was bedridden the last few years of his life due to an inoperable tumor. He would get bed sores, and one eventually got infected, and when we got to the hospital, they told us there was really nothing they could do."
"They waited until we were all there before they took him off life support. We all said our goodbyes while he was still somewhat with it, and while he was a little incoherent, his last real words were how much he loved us."
"After that, it was just us waiting. He was propped up in bed with his head down and it seemed no different than just watching someone sleep. It probably took about 17 to 18 hours. We all didn’t stay the whole time, but we were all there holding hands when he passed. We weren’t even 100% sure he was gone but a nurse came in and confirmed."
"No struggle, no pain, just peaceful."
"I will say, though… the worst part (other than the obvious) was the staff asked if we wanted to step outside for a few minutes so they could finish up and get him straightened out (he was hunched over in bed). When we got back into the room, he was positioned to be lying down but his mouth was wide open, looking like Van Gogh’s 'Scream' painting. That hit a lot harder and was more painful than actually watching him take his last breaths."
"Dude got his skull crushed by a f**king street car five feet away from me. I will never get the sound of it out of my mind for as long as I am alive. Drunk and on drugs, the dude tripped while trying to run across the street in front of it."
"F**k me, just typing this is giving me PTSD."
Metastatic Breast Cancer
"I was with my mom when she passed as a result of metastatic breast cancer. She had been in and out of consciousness for a week but hadn't regained consciousness in two days. It was a brutal fight but a fairly peaceful death if that makes sense."
"I saw a poor guy in really bad shape at the part of the hospital where chemo patients sit. Saw a guy just flop over and a woman with him just started wailing. It was terrible."
"That was, for whatever reason, the day I quit Facebook. Just thought life was too fragile to mess around with social media."
"As I type this on Reddit..."
"I work at a hotel as a housekeeper. About a week ago I accidentally entered the wrong room and the man in said room was having a heart attack. I'd forgotten my phone, so I sprinted like mad to inform the manager."
"He was initially still alive, but he died the following morning."
"Teens swimming. All of a sudden they panic, (I was on the other side of a body of water) I ran over, and their friend was underwater. I got him out and did CPR, but he didn’t make it. I dream of the kid sometimes."
"It’s not like the movies when the lungs expel water. Algae and whatever else went in my mouth, and they don’t wake up. At least that was my experience."
"I was helping someone move apartments, and he had a heart attack right in front of me. Paramedics said it was a cardiac arrest from alcohol withdrawals. He didn't even make a sound. He just fell over and that was it."
"I watched my mum take her last breath two weeks ago. After a night of really heavy breathing (heart failure), it went into shallow breathing, her face twitched a little, and went into her sleep."
A Familiar Phrase
"I’ve been working trauma and high-risk healthcare for nearly a quarter century and have seen more people die than I ever would have imagined."
"Reddit constantly downvotes this response, thinking it’s a Marvel reference."
"People really do often say, 'I don’t feel so good,' as their last words. Seasoned healthcare providers know that phrase is serious."
We've all experienced something, with some situations being worse than others. But it's hard to imagine going through something worse than witnessing the final moments of someone's life, knowing there's nothing you can do to prolong their time.
All we can do is practice gratitude in our own lives and hug our loved ones a little tighter today.
We can all agree that we need a healthy dose of fun in our lives, and one sure way of keeping the fun around is to have a hobby we revisit regularly.
But while we can all agree about the importance of having a hobby, we certainly will not all agree about the financial investment involved in many of our options.
Redditor IAmTheQ asked:
"What are your expensive hobbies?"
"I love to travel, which can be expensive. That's why I don't travel that often because I have to save up between trips. But I love traveling to new places and learning about the culture and history. If I was independently wealthy, I'd be traveling constantly."
"I hope you become independently wealthy."
"Simply, I don't get to enjoy it."
"Oil painting. I pay for a studio and sometimes paint is $30 for a small tube. Same with brushes. I can spend a cool $200 on like a couple of tubes of paint and a few paintbrushes once a month easily."
"That sounds out of this world."
"It is indeed astronomically expensive."
Going to Concerts
"Going to concerts."
"Live music is the best way to spend money, I love concerts and shows."
"So much money!"
"Came here to say that. And sometimes it isn't even my horse (I say as I look at a horse in our facility who bowed a tendon and the owner didn't properly start the medical process properly, and I said 'screw it,' and as of today [when I found out about the poor baby], I am now attempting to give this horse a proper shot at healing)."
"I had to stop. It was causing major issues in my marriage. I unfollowed all the record-buying subreddits and started a savings account. I still look, but don't buy. It helps that the prices are stupid now."
"I think you meant to say your marriage was causing major issues in your vinyl collecting."
"Don’t tell non-mountain bikers how much a good dropper seat post costs, much less the complete bikes."
"I grow plants. At first, sure, it was a simple hobby, and cheap. Just a seed and some dirt."
"Then you start doing hydro, experimental techniques, CO2 enrichment, high powered LED lights, and PPFD meters. Then comes the sub-400 wavelength light and light over 700 nm, various sprays, PPM, and pH meters."
"AH, you went cheap before, now you gotta get blue (an expensive brand). Oh, you got some o2 decencies in your water, need an O2 meter. The list goes on and on."
"Cheese making. Why buy a reasonably-sized hunk of fancy cheese at the store when you can spend hundreds of dollars on milk, a couple grand on supplies and equipment, and months of your time on a slightly larger, but not as good tiny wheel of your own?"
"Guitar lessons, guitars, and other guitar-related equipment."
"Teach a man to fish and he eats for a day, but teach a man to play guitar and he never eats again."
Painting in Miniature
"My pile of shame is currently in a massive military surplus duffle bag under my bed."
"I am around 5 feet 10 inches, and can lay down flat in the bag."
"It weighs so much I can't lift it."
Pinball Machine Restoration
"Pinball machines. I have over 100 of them."
"I accidentally fell into the hobby when I bought a pinball machine and was told it just needed to be 'reset' to work. That was a lie and I realized very few people knew how to repair/restore these things."
"Once I learned how I started saving old pinball machines from being destroyed and started a collection. Now the hobby is a lot more popular than it used to be. It's fun to learn and share what I know about the games and the industry. And they're tons of fun to play."
"I created a youtube channel where I post videos of my pinball restorations. Over 500 videos to date."
Building with LEGO
"LEGO. Plastic crack."
"I’ve had $200 worth of sets sitting in my cart on Lego.com just waiting for me to get high or drunk enough to pull the trigger."
"Amazon is like $600… and that doesn’t include wishlists."
"I wish I could afford to invest in the actual company, haha!"
"Skiing. If you ignore the cost of equipment, the cost of season passes, and travel, it's not too bad."
It's so important for us to have an activity that is just ours that brings us incredible joy. But at a certain point, we might need to ask ourselves, "At what cost?"
It takes one revelation about a person you know to suddenly have a completely different view of them.
A hidden talent, for example, can make you more impressed about a friend you had no clue could carry a tune.
Or someone who did an uncredited good deed can change your mind about them after you assumed they were the type of person who could care less about helping others.
But what happens if there's a sinister secret about a person you thought you knew coming to light?
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Electrical-Lemon187 asked:
"What’s the most disturbing secret you’ve discovered about someone close to you?"
You think you know your family.
"The 24 hours before my dad died (stage 4 lung cancer) he was in the ER and then the ICU and we were unable to be with him because of hospital Covid rules. My mother, sister and myself had been texting and calling him all day and got no response. My mother even called the hospital and spoke with one of his ICU nurses who said he was awake and communicating fine. He passed very quickly at 3:30am the next morning. We were allowed to be at his bedside but by then he was no longer conscious so we said our goodbyes and he was gone. Later that morning while my mom slept I was calling cremation services to schedule his body for pick up at the hospital and going through his bag of belongings the hospital had returned to us. His phone was in there and I wanted to read all our texts and take some comfort in my last words to him."
"I opened his phone and all our texts had not been read, not mine or my mom and sister’s. I thought this was so odd but figured he must have been suffering so much he couldn’t find the strength. I began to scroll through his apps and noticed a chat app I’d vaguely heard of. I can’t recall the name but it essentially works like WhatsApp."
"I opened the app and saw a single contact with a female name. I started reading and realized my dad has been chatting with this girl hourly for the last 24 hours and as far back as I could scroll. He was calling her princess and telling her he loved her and she was saying she was scared for him and wanted to know what was going on, why was he in the ER, etc. I scrolled back enough to know that this was someone he was having at the very least, an emotional affair with."
"My grief was completely hijacked by hurt and anger and a week later I tracked the girl down and spoke to her (via dms) and found out she was 19 years old. She was 17 when they met. He was her high school bus driver and she told me they had been dating for almost 2 years."
"My dad was 66 years old when he died and dating someone younger than his grandchildren, someone he chose to spend his last moments with and say his last goodbyes to. I hope it made him happy but it sure is a sh**ty secret to live the rest of my life with. A secret that will forever overshadow my entire relationship with my dad with no chance to ever speak to him about it. It’s the one secret I wish I’d never found out."
"I don't know how disturbing this is; it turned out pretty fantastic for one. But not for another."
"I was adopted, and told a silly, magical story about my birth parents that most certainly did not seem true even when I was a child."
"At 57, I learned I was the result of a college affair between a very seriously Jewish young man and a very Baptist young woman. She was rushed off to a home for wayward girls to give birth. He followed her there (many states away), begging her to keep me and live a life together. But their families both said absolutely not. Jewish people were not viewed as 'white' in the mid-60s, and her family most certainly did not want her marrying a non-white. Plus, she was a very committed Christian and did not want to convert to Judaism."
"So off I went, into another family. I recently discovered three lovely half-siblings and we are all pro or semi-pro musicians and get along well. I never got to meet my mother; she died a year before I searched. My father is out of the picture and wants to be left alone. And I'm fine with that; I'm grateful for the love he gave me. It was enough."
"Endings to our searching are not always happy."
"Found a scrapbook of my mom and a guy I didn’t recognize from her immediately post-college days. Turns out he was a long term boyfriend of hers who killed himself when she broke up with him. My grandfather found his body. I learned at age 20, by finding the book/shrine to him."
You think you know your friends.
Crazy Best Friend
"She was my best friend of 7 years, we had literally been through it all together. I moved out of state with my now husband, but she convinced us both to move back to be closer with her, after about a year. We had no real ties to the state we had tried out, so we said screw it, let’s go back, she’s basically family. We were all so happy to be reunited; she was over almost every night for dinner, we all laughed and talked and had a blast. Best year of my life."
"Then slowly, she started trying to turn my husband and I against each other. Anytime we had an argument (like any couple does) she would text each of us about how right we were; trying to foster animosity between the two of us."
"With me, she started talking about how she had a plan b for 'us', that if my husband and I couldn’t make it work, I could move in with her and we’d live happy lives together."
"With my husband, she started talking about her infertility issues and how she wanted to have a kid just like him, she just needed a sperm donor."
"This all happened at around the same time, and my husband and I compared texts and figured it out."
"She wanted to take his sperm, and have a baby with me. When confronted about it she refused to admit anything and started lashing out at both of us. It got to the point where she would show up unannounced, banging on the door, demanding a place in our home. It was so terrifying and panic inducing that we ended up having to move and change our phone numbers."
"I guess it’s so disturbing because I had never had a friend like her, only to find out that she, well she cared about me, but in such an unhealthy and scary way. But yeah, that’s my story."
"Husband and I are great now btw."
His Fraudulent Degrees
"A work colleague appeared on the front page of a national newspaper for a life of fraudulent qualifications. He claimed medical and law degrees, was a brigadier in the army (reserves) and was the CEO for a major heath fund. He actually was a Brigadier in the army reserves but that and the heath fund role were largely built on the fraudulent qualifications and a progression of jobs also based on this claims. In reality, the only qualification he actually held was as a mortuary assistant. Not even his wife knew. The fraudulent degrees had been gained when he was in the army reserves recruiting and he had access to submitted position applications. He came undone when he applied for a government job and some flags were raised by the recruitment people. He tried to withdraw the application but didn’t realise that an application for a government role has the same weight as a statutory declaration and cannot be withdrawn. It all went south very quickly and he ended up doing jail time."
You never truly know everything about people–even those who are closest to you.
They say ignorance is bliss, and that applies to many of examples provided by Redditors.
But if you were in their shoes, and depending on the circumstances, would you rather know the deepest and darkest secrets about those you care about?
When going on a first date, we are often on the lookout for "red flags", the key indicators that whoever is sitting across from us couldn't possibly be the love of our life.
More often than not, these red flags, be it something they said or did, are often a firm deal breaker in finding a partner.
Sometimes, however, there might be enough to make you overlook the glaring red flag you just had waved in your face.
And much to your surprise, you might find yourself falling head over heels in love with them, in spite of their one, obvious flaw.
"What's your biggest red flag in a partner?"
The Wisest Admit When They've Made A Mistake...
"Inability to recognize or admit when they've made a mistake."- UniversityEastern542
My Way Or The Highway...
"Using ultimatums to get their way instead of compromising."- Whed1956
And That Concerns Me, Why?...
"No respect for your interests or your time."- ElNakedo·Bored Over It GIFGiphy
It's Can Be Easy To See Clearly Through The "Gaslight"...
"Manipulation on any level."- xfalinex
"Manipulating, gaslighting, 'winning'."- umbrex
Is It Really So Difficult To Say "I'm Sorry"?...
"Inability to apologize."- theregoesthevillageSorry Taylor Swift GIFGiphy
Honesty is ALWAYS The Best Policy...
"My biggest red flag in a partner would be their inability to communicate effectively and be honest with me."
"Trust is key."- Proper_Ad5123
What You See Is What You Get
"Wanting to change my style and look."
"First girlfriend wanted me to wear button up shirts, colored my hair brown, and even wanted me to wear brown colored contact lenses."
"Coincidentally these were all features of her cousin who she later married."
"A good partner helps you grow and become the best version of you."
"They don't try to mould you into their own vision."- AdmiralClover
"Someone who wants to change you."- helloiamnatAlicia Silverstone Makeover GIF by filmeditorGiphy
Written In The Stars
"Blames their sh*tty behaviour on their star sign."
"Yeah, I ain't buying the 'it's because I'm a Scorpio" bullsh*t."- A_Direwolf
...Or Maybe A Scratched Cornea?
"An eyepatch. It's a sign of dangerous living, possibly pirate or rustler but certainly an outlaw."- beathelas
Sometimes You Have To Be The Hero
"Victim complex."- Im_a_nice_horseGiphy
"Can't control their anger and/or hits and breaks stuff when angry."- LilleSmurfine
There Is Nothing More Important In Life...
"Your significant other restricting you from hanging out with your friends."- AagamAaghnya
There Is So Much More To Life...
"If their political views are their whole personality."- V1p3rzachbrooklyn nine nine politics GIFGiphy
It's fair enough to have deal breakers when it comes to finding a partner.
Always remember though, first impressions can be misleading.
And love has a way of helping you overlook the imperfections of others.