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People Share Their 'Why The Hell Did I Do That' Moments

People Share Their 'Why The Hell Did I Do That' Moments

Listen, we've all had those brain fart moments where we do something so astronomically stupid that we wonder how we have survived as long as we have and if maybe we should have a chaperone since we clearly can't be trusted with out own well-being. No shame. No shade. Deep down inside, we are all really really dumb. Really.


So let's stop lying about it. Let's just put it all out there and talk about it. I'll go first. Hi, my name is Erica and I am a raging moron sometimes. So are these people.

Mad Respect

Once I didn't feel like I could keep going with my job (I didn't feel comfortable there), I said f*ck this and yelled at my manager. Thing is I needed the job; family was going through a rough time.

Next day I showed up and my manager ringed me up, he told me he understood my frustration and recommended meditation, told me not to lash out on him again like that.

I still left a few months later, but I still feel mad respect for the guy after that.

- alymassa

The Flood

Basement flooded, 4' of water.

A humidifier (ironic) was on, plugged in, and making weird noises because it was submerged in water.

My barely awake brain went "must unplug that" and I waded through the 4' of water to unplug it.

I lived, yay.

- Ladyughsalot1

Gross Gravy

Giphy

I was opening a can of food for my cat, and some of the gravy got on my finger. My brain went on autopilot and I licked my finger clean. I regretted it immediately.

- PianomanGidley

Cartoon Slide

When I was 10 I was on vacation and wanted to show off and run into a window and then slide down like those characters in cartoons do. I hit the window and it broke so I walked to the back of the building I broke the window of and I told the people I was running and didn't see the window. I wonder if they bought that.

- genuinelyinterested

Phones Are Fun

My boyfriend left his phone at my apartment so I texted him to let him know.

- NeedsMoreTuba


I cracked my screen and took a screenshot to send to the dude I was dating. He responded: "Did you really just try to send me a screenshot of your cracked screen?!"

Yeah, extra dumb.

- Cookie-muensters

Call The Locksmith

My daughter, who was five at the time, went into our (my wife and I's) bathroom and managed to lock herself in (the lock on the door is weird and problematic). She couldn't get out, so I had to call a locksmith. It took him a solid two hours to get her out of there. He finally gets it open, but at this point we're late for our dinner reservation with my wife's family, so we agree he'll come by later in the week to fix the lock. He tells me very clearly "Don't shut this door until I fix it. If you do, this will happen again." (I'm sure you can all guess where this is headed, and you're right).

The next day, home alone, I walk in there to take a leak and reflexively shut the door behind me. I spent about half an hour trying to get out before I finally called the locksmith. That convo went like this:

"Hey, uh, you were over at my place yesterday."

"Oh yeah, yeah, I remember! You're calling to schedule the follow-up?"

"Well actually, uh...it happened again. I'm stuck in the bathroom right now."

five second pause

"Are you serious?"

Guy was a real professional. Never before or since have I heard such polite astonishment packed into a three word question. He came over again, but obviously he had to charge us for it. Possibly the most expensive way I've ever embarrassed myself.

- DeaconFrostedFlakes

Out Of The Frying Pan... 

Dropped something into a deep fryer that was at cooking temperature - and then proceeded to reach in and grab it. Definitely not my brightest moment...

Had a thin glove on so could have been worse but had blisters on my fingers and hand for a while after.

- roman_nose00

Alcohol Poisoning

13 different types of alcohol in a matter of 3 hours. I was 21, had alcohol poisoning for 2 days. Surprised I didn't die. I dry heaved for over 24 hours. Think food poisoning, mixed with vertigo, and the flu. I legit thought I was going to die.

- Bearded_Trucker

Spiderman

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Back in college...I leave my third story apt to go play basketball with a friend and see my crush on the phone down on the first floor (outside). As I get to the second story I decide to throw the ball down and try to scare her. It doesn't work and she catches it on the first bounce.

That's when MY DUMBASS JUMPED OFF THE SECOND STORY in a pair of chuck converse sneakers like I was Spiderman.

I land flat footed and shattered both my heels and several bones in my feet. I was relegated to a pair of crutches which really sucked going up 3 stories everyday. Turns out me crawling into her apartment in searing pain didn't totally turn her off as that was 15 years ago and we've been married for 10 now. Till this day I think..."why tf did I do that?"

- Elliot517

The Tree

One time I was driving and I hit a tree. Not on the side of the road but in the middle. It was a clear, regular day. I could see the fallen tree from a distance. I definitely didn't want to hit the tree.

I'm still not sure how or why I did that.

- urmominic


My parents had me take a defensive driving course when I was just learning how to drive (not at all related to any of the required driving courses), and the big lesson that stuck with me from that course was "Look where you want to go".

Instinctively, drivers will end up turning the steering wheel towards whatever it is they're looking at. So probably in your situation, you were so focused on not hitting the tree, that you focused your eyes on the tree, so you instinctively and accidentally turned your car's wheel toward the tree, so you hit the tree.

- Ldfzm

Dustbusted

My friend and I found an old dustbuster in his parents' garage, when we were in middle school. We were taking it apart and got to the battery pack with two wires coming out of it. I said we should each touch one of the wires to our tongues, then touch our fingers and see if we got a shock. My friend rejected my offer. So I put both wires on my tongue...

My body literally lifted off the ground like a cartoon character getting electrocuted. I think my legs straightened out instantly from a spasm or something, I'm not really sure what happened, but I jumped probably 6-12 inches off the ground and felt an intense shock throughput my entire body. First and last time I have been legit electrocuted. When I landed the thing dropped on the ground and the pain stopped, but I was stunned for a moment.

Looking back i have no idea what compelled me to do that. I guess I thought the battery was dead or something, and wouldn't have any effect. I probably could have died, not sure, but I stay the fuck away from electrical currents now.

- e__west

Box Cutter

I looked at a box cutter and thought, hmm this doesn't look that sharp.. So I proceeded to press it on my thumb... Well, it was sharp enough to cut my thumb at least 😂

- arnit10

Hug

I accidentally hugged a random guy in a restaurant. I thought he was my older brother who I was really close with at the time. Turns out he was a 50 something year old man who wasn't even the same race as me and my brother. I just judged by his coat that looked like my brother. He was laughing a lot, and a lot of people looked concerned. That was 2 years ago, and I still regret it. Hope that the random hug brightened up his day a bit though.

- lolwhymeh08

Mean Girls

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6th grade graduation ceremony. They were giving an award to some lady,for helping the school or something.

I was thinking about that scene from Mean Girls that spawned the infamous like "She doesn't even go here!"

I don't know wtf happened, but I SAID IT INSTEAD OF JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

Everyone turned around. I did too trying to cover up that it was me.

- 32ozhydroflask

Too Hot?

Blowing on the ice cream

- savagedarklord

Zapped

I was eating something saucy and a bit spilled on the end of my laptop's charging cable. I licked it off without thinking and zapped myself.

- thedarkstone1

Checking My Theory

I had to be 12 or so when I did this. I was walking towards a road with a friend to cross it. A car was coming down the road.

My mind went "The car is fast enough that if it arrives at the point where I'm crossing over before I'm there, I don't need to slow down. Win time!"

I don't really know why it was important, but it was during my period where I was tried to be right about everything. Anyway, it seemed like it would be a very very close call, but my brain didn't stop so neither did my body.

I wanted to check my theory. Almost died.

- Lawnio

Platform 9 1/2

I am in my 20's now and when Harry Potter first came out I was very young. I was a huge fan. Well I guess one day I got carried away because I ran into a wall at a train station like you have to to get on the train to Hogwarts. In front of my entire family. I hit the wall so hard that I got a bloody nose.

- i-code-n-play-games

Transphobic Humor 

Most recent one was in my Cultural Anthropology class. We were on the topic of sexuality and gender, specifically trans individuals. The professor said that the term "transsexual" is offensive to some. So, thinking it would be funny, I asked, "Well what do you call them? Penis-enabled?"

Nobody thought it was funny and I came off as transphobic in a class full of easily offended people. Right before this I was working with an actively transitioning coworker, she's so funny and we talk like old friends about whatever. I told her about that later and she laughed her ass off, but the whole class took it so seriously.

Also we were looking at illustrated representations of ambiguous genitalia. I thought it would be funny to say "oh so it's a typical ~current day of the week~ for me..."

It was not funny. I dunno wtf is wrong with me.

- AyyAway

Pancakes

Giphy

Well I mistakenly added salt to flour when making pancakes this morning. Instead of throwing it all out and starting over I tried to "save" it by adding double the sugar.

It was shit.

You don't have to stick with mistakes.

- Aiscriim90

Oh Vow: The Worst Things People Have Ever Seen At A Wedding

Reddit user nonoriginalname42 asked: 'What's the worst thing you've seen happen at a wedding?'

Closeup of bride and groom's hands
Luis Tosta/Unsplash

A couple proclaiming their vows in front of loved ones is the ultimate affirmation of love.

So when the day of the wedding finally arrives for a couple after months of planning, there's a lot of pressure for things to go smoothly.

And while for the most part, the joyous day of celebration culminates in plenty of emotions and tears that is remembered and reminisced about.

Unless it wasn't the perfect wedding day ever. Because sometimes, things just don't go as planned due to various unforeseen circumstances.

Kind of like the ones strangers online shared when Redditor nonoriginalname42 asked:

"What's the worst thing you've seen happen at a wedding?"

Choose members of your wedding party wisely.

Otherwise, the following might happen.​

Not The Best Man For The Job

"Best man starts off speech with, 'I've seen *the groom* with a lot of girls over the years...'. You know the cliché speech where it goes on to say but you're the best for him, etc. etc. Turns out the bride and groom were dating long before the best man even became a friend. Essentially outed him as a degenerate cheater. She was super pissed."

– Wallace2727

Oops

"The best man giving the toast at the reception and saying the groom’s first wife’s name instead of the current one."

– pharmhound

Downhill After The Upchuck

"Matron of honor throwing up just as the officiant was asking if anyone objected."

– Amiiboid

"My brother was in a wedding where as the bride said I do, the groom threw up all over her due to the bachelor party the night before."

– ParsonJackRussell

Unfortunately, you can't expect family to all be on their best behavior in these unfortunate situations.

Rehearsal Dinner Disaster

"Bride and groom got in a huge drunken fight after the rehearsal dinner, it escalated to include shouting and name-calling between both families, then the wedding got cancelled the day of."

– jkvincent

Drunk Dad-In-Law

"It started super late, it was super hot out, the future father-in-law was wasted and left before it started. He then showed back up in a red bath robe and his gun. Cops got called. It was a whole thing."

"Oh, and then after the reception we were all trying to convince one of our friends not to drive. He insisted he was fine... Drove his truck into the river."

– MLaw2008

Because Priorities

"I was at a wedding in rural Wisconsin and both the bride and groom were members of the local all-volunteer fire department. Almost everyone at the wedding proceeded to get quite drunk, except the bride, who doesn't drink. At some point, there was an emergency call to the fire department (not a fire, but a medical call). The wedding was not far from the fire station, so the bride rushed over and, along with one other volunteer who was on call, drove an ambulance to an emergency call."

"In her wedding dress."

– GingerStu

The bride and groom aren't always the most exemplary role models.

Ghosting The Guests

"I went to a friend of mines Aunts wedding. It was a second marriage for both of them so they wanted something 'relaxed.'”

"They threw it on one of the family members property and had all the guest do grueling manual labor to get the property ready for the wedding. We were literally landscaping in the Texas summer."

"I was climbing trees to hang lights, we laid sod, we laid down stone for a walk way, my friends mom cooked food for days and made all of the floral arrangements. We were setting up tables and chairs, you name it. We worked from 6am until almost midnight for 3 days."

"Finally the wedding happens and it’s beautiful. I was actually really proud of what we had done. It looked professional."

"We go to cut the cake and the couple is no where to be found. They just left without telling anyone and went back to their hotel. I was offended by that because we had worked SO HARD for them and they didn’t even stay for the entire wedding."

"We never got a thank you or any appreciation for it. Other people were upset too and took their gifts back before leaving."

– littlemybb

Going Nowhere Fast

"Groom wanted cigarettes so he snuck out and tried to drive to a convenience store a minute away. Drove straight into a telephone pole and was arrested for DUI and spent the night in jail."

– mdreb18

Weddings have an element of surprise because no matter how well things are planned, anything can happen.

Hey Mr. DJ

"My brother's second wedding. For the first dance, the DJ played the wrong song for half a second before stopping, and starting the right song. The Bride disappeared for 2 hours afterwards because 'the wedding was ruined.'"

– Upper-Job5130

"I wonder if he’ll hire the same DJ for his third wedding."

– the_beat_labratory

"Oh God I can't deal with people like that. I have a family member who does this. The tiniest little thing goes a touch awry, moment of awkwardness maybe, then back on track for a great day. But then they go and ACTUALLY ruin the day but throwing a tantrum...."

– CowsArouse

When Duty Calls

"I was supposed to be best man at a friend's wedding. At 7:30 AM, the morning of the wedding the groom called and said the wedding was off. It wasn't going to happen. I never talked to or saw the guy again. He signed up for the army and within a few days he was just gone."

– fredzout

There's so much pressure built-up from the anticipation before couples say, "I do."

So, it's not surprising that we all hope things go without a hitch before couples get hitched.

But don't count on it.

Unless you plan a small, casual wedding or reception with only your closest friends and family following a City Hall ceremony.

That's how my husband and I got married.

There can be perfection in simplicity, and that's how we roll.

Learning about the death of a well-known figure can sometimes feel as if we lost a friend or family member.

Even if we never met them or knew them personally, their work may have touched us in such a way that it feels as if part of us died with them.

This can be even more poignant if they died young and/or under tragic circumstances.

Particularly if the cause of their death was never fully explained or discovered and continues to be a mystery to this very day.

Redditor ZellaphantBooks2 was curious to hear stories of deaths or disappearances that remain a mystery (or possibly too easily explained), leading them to ask:

"What celebrity death seems a bit too suspicious?"

Alive And Well... But Nowhere To Be Found?

"Shelly Miscavige , wife of Scientology leader David Miscavige."

"Disappeared 2013 after vocally coming out against the practices of Scientology."

"Lawyers for the cult - I mean religion - still maintain she is alive and living a private life devoted to Scientology."

"Right."- shineymike91

"Not a 'murder' or 'death' and not really a 'celebrity' but... WHERE is Shelly Miscavage?"- hopeandnonthings

Supposedly A Robbery, But Maybe Not So Simple?

"Haing Ngor."

"Oscar and Golden Globe winner for 'The Killing Fields'."

"Cambodian and former prisoner of the Khmer Rouge."

"Tortured and imprisoned in Cambodia."

"Murdered outside his home in Los Angeles."

"His family thinks it was revenge from Cambodia for his outspoken support for human rights and bringing people to justice in Cambodia."- Lothar_28

Wrong Place, Wrong Time?

"Sridevi."

"She’s a Bollywood actress who died in Dubai from accidental drowning in a bathtub, the day after a wedding where she was in perfect health and she had a huge life insurance which would pay only if she dies in Dubai."- CurlyBrownHair08

The World May Never Know...

"Brian Jones of The Rolling Stones died under suspicious circumstances while swimming."

"The person he was swimming with (a contractor working on his house who Jones had accused of stealing from him) supposedly confessed on his deathbed to killing Jones."- Laughacy

Without A Trace

"Jill Dando."

"She was a British TV presenter, news reader and journalist."

"She was shot on her front door step and it's never been solved."- TheKnightsTippler

Bulldozer Accident?

"In my hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, there was a sculptor and entrepreneur by the name of Bob Cassilly."

"His works, whimsical and larger than life, are all over the city."

"The crown jewel of all this is the wacky home of repurposed industrial materials into a crazy sort of playground, the popular City Museum."

"He was a notoriously driven worker, and in 2011 he died in an apparent bulldozer accident working on a new outdoor art playground project he called Cementland."

"His death was even investigated, but again ruled accidental, despite one medical expert saying he had been beaten and the bulldozer accident was staged."

"Not a true celebrity, but a local legend here to be sure, and a person who left an indelible mark on this town."- ImaginaryMastadon

Did She Know Too Much?

"Dorothy Kilgallen, reporter and TV personality."

"Died under mysterious circumstances while investigating Kennedy's assassination."- WoolaTheCalot

"Dorothy Kilgallen."

"She was an investigative journalist and game show panelist on What’s My Line?"

"She was digging into JFK when she died of an overdose."

"Her manuscript on JFK was taken by the govt and will never see the light of day."- Risky-Potato

Dealing With Villains On Screen And Off Screen

"George Reeves, the guy who played Superman in the 50s."

"There were a bunch of people in his house the night he died, and a lot of conflicting stories, also he was having an affair with a studio exec's who was in attendance with his husband that night.'

"Also forensics disagree with the testimony of the witnesses."

"It's all a clusterf*ck."- jorsiem

Something Doesn't Add Up...

"This might be stretching the definition of 'celebrity' but Rudolf Diesel, inventor of the diesel engine (and kind of a big deal in his day) died under really suspicious circumstances."

"On September 29th, 1913 Diesel boarded a ship in Antwerp, Belgium on his way to a business meeting in London."

"He never arrived."

"His bed was never slept in, his shirts remained unpacked and his pocket watch was open on the night stand."

"The crew found his hat and overcoat neatly folded by the aft railing of the ship."

"The last entry in his diary was simply a cross on the day of the 29th."

"About 10 days later they found a body in the channel that was eventually IDed as Diesel."

"Pretty straightforward, right?"

'The thing is, he gave his wife a bag when he left with instructions to open it upon his death."

"It contained 20,000 Marks (about $120,000) the whole of the Diesel's bank accounts withdrawn as cash."

"Diesel had recently declined to sell his patents exclusively to the German government and was on his way to London to meet with representatives of the Consolidated Diesel company and the British Royal Navy."

"After his death, no memorial or tomb was built until 1957, when the founder of Japan's Yanmar Diesel company funded the building of a memorial garden for him."- weirdoldhobo1978

Might Want Another Source Than The Kremlin...

"Don't know if he qualifies as a celebrity but Yuri Gagarin, Russian cosmonaut and the first man in space."

"After the kremlin sent one of his friends to certain death on an extremely unprepared rocket ship, in a desperate attempt to catch up with USA's progress, Yuri, a Russian hero and one of the most popular figures at the time, criticized the kremlin and blamed them for the death of his friend."

"Not too long after, he died when he allegedly lost control of his Mig-15."

"The official explanation given by the Kremlin is full of holes and to this day no one really knows what happened but, it seems obvious to some, that whatever caused his crash, the kremlin was responsible for it."- Danesho_PT

It's sad that all these poor people died before their time.

Even sadder if the reasons behind their death were, in fact, far more sinister than anyone might realize.


Fast Firings: The Quickest Ways Employees Have Gotten Canned
Photo by Roth Melinda

How to lose a job in 10 seconds.

Now, that sounds like a fun show to watch.

It is astonishing how fast people can lose their jobs.

Some people really need to learn how to actually exist at a job.

You'd think it'd be simple... but no.

Redditor Quintowne wanted to hear about all of the ways some employees have been let go, so they asked:

"What is the fastest way you've seen someone get fired?"

With many years in food service under my belt, I've had more co-workers than Mars, Incorporated has made M&M's.

So many were gone by the end of shift one.

Secrets

Car Police GIF by BabylonBeeGiphy

"New person got access to the medical records system. Week 2 - Looked up our boss and bragged about it. Was walked out and gone the second week."

JenntheGreat13

Okay. Bye.

"My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: 'I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.'"

"Boss says 'Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!'"

Selios2112

Sticky Fingers

"First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can't keep up, can barely use a tape gun, and decides it's time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss's lunch, he stole the guy's meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 minutes later and wanted to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denied it. I just looked at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man."

BigNotGay420

He Was Warned

"Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn't answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. The next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down."

Beestung

"Oh Gawd, just reading the word voodoo brought out a flash of memories I buried."

calamnet2

Oh Willy

wet willy martial arts GIFGiphy

"First day on the job, gave another coworker a wet-willy. Sh*t you not."

themoistdonut

I have never understood this wet willy thing.

Completely disgusting.

Who even came up with it?

Loopholes

Angry Season 4 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

"Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register."

DudebroggieHouser

On the Spot

"Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR--and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot."

walkingknight

"I did customer support at a software company that sold to other businesses, and every one of us had one customer that we hated a hell of a lot more than any other. The guy who sat next to me hated Amway."

MajorNoodles

"A high school friend's dad offered me a job with his company after I graduated, it was 'Do the interview and then go to work.' The interview consisted of a five-minute spiel about the company and a 45-minute Amway sales pitch with the understanding that if I didn't agree to sell Amway for him, I wouldn't get the job. Dad called me a couple of days later wondering to know why I didn't take the job. I started to work at about the same time the former interviewer stopped working there."

m945050

$100

"Half an hour. Working in Arby's, a new girl shows up. They run her through how to work the cash register on a few dummy orders. She takes a real order or two and then it gets slow. She asked to duck out for a minute to smoke and never came back. Register ended up being $100 short that day."

AaronKMartinez

"Always smart to rob a place after giving them your name and address."

Bobby_Newpooort

Hangover

"The guy responsible for opening the shop on Saturday morning went out and got blitzed on Friday night. We showed up to work to find his car in the lot but the doors locked. He didn't answer his phone. Had to call the owner in to get us inside. The guy was fast asleep, under his desk. He was gone before you could say hangover."

davisherm

The Eagle

"I was on a new team hired for corporate sales. They trained us as a group. We were given the task of creating a presentation with graphs and charts to show how we presented to a group and given pointers on how to improve. One guy shows up an hour late, waltzes in, and says he’s tired from the drive-in and says he needs a coffee before settling in. We are in suit and tie, and he’s wearing a dress shirt with a huge eagle on the front and jeans."

"He comes back a few minutes later, and when asked to present, he says he didn’t prepare anything, but he’s happy to answer any questions they may have about presentations. We all looked at each other in disbelief. Fired on the spot by the Manager. I heard that they asked him to return his laptop, and he stiffed them for months before they sent a repo man to his door to pick it up."

WildBillyBoy33

Buh-Bye

jumping episode 11 GIFGiphy

"A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!"

Useful_Exchange3583

"When I was in middle and high school they hired students with driver's licenses to drive the busses. This was in the 80's."

Calypso_gypsie

My school bus drivers were all nuts.

I always thanked GOD when I got home in one piece.

United States map

Joey Csunyo on Unsplash

Different regions around the world are known for specific foods and customs.

In the United States, each state becomes officially and unofficially known for certain things.

Like if you think of Pennsylvania you might think cheesesteaks or the Amish. Nevada might bring thoughts of gambling.

California might evoke beaches or Hollywood. Alaska is known for it's wilderness and fishing industry.

If you say Florida Man you associate batsh*t escapades in the news, transphobia and book bans—we're looking at you, Ron.

Each state has their own flag, motto, bird, flower and in some cases an animal or food.

The Maine Coon cat is the official state cat of Maine.

Maine Coon catBee Felten-Leidel on Unsplash

So what if all the states held a big party and everyone brought what they're known for?

Keep reading...Show less