We are living in some interesting and hectic times.
We are in the midst of a culture war. And there seems to be no end in sight.
That is because everybody has stopped looking for common ground to merely start conversations with.
And this leads to everyone being offended by everything, all of the time. And it's become a real issue.
So where do we go from here?
RedditorPowerfulAd5343wanted to chat about the things that people need to calm down and try to be so sensitive about, they asked:
"What is something people absolutely need to stop getting offended over?"
I'll start... I'm wrong a lot. So please don't yell at me when I'm learning.
Mind your business...
Trigger Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy"My friend tweeted about his grandma dying and someone got mad at him for not adding a trigger warning." ~ jack_snaz_lord
It's Ok
"Being wrong! It's okay to be wrong, as long as you’re also willing to learn." ~ TheBostonKremeDonut
"I used to have a friend like this, she could not stand to be corrected and automatically felt as though you were 'attacking her' or diminishing her, even though you were just trying to correct and help her. I burned that bridge and I am thankful for it." ~ TelemachusTheYoung
Get Facts
"Third party people who hear one side of a story, assume that's all the facts and not any bias or perceptive distortion nor a misunderstanding, and then go on to attack the other party who is also hurting from what happened between the first two parties." ~ misunderstood_blob
Not Going
"Declining their offer. Years ago my mom (she's gotten much better now) would offer to help with something and if I said no she'd take it as a personal insult. One time I said I was coming to pick up my things as I was in the process of moving out, she said she can just hold onto them until I find a place."
"It was pretty clear she wanted to slow the moving process down as much as possible but I said no thank you, I'd rather have them with me now. The conversation ended with her telling me to go to hell and threatening to throw my property on the lawn in the middle of the night cause I insisted instead of caved." ~ Homo-Homie
Stay Young
Fake Id GIF by Why Don't WeGiphy"When I ask for I.D. to sell a product." ~ gumbi01
"This but I work at a bank. It blows my mind how mad people can get that I ask them to verify their identity to access their secured funds." ~ SpaceCase9212
All valid. Why are you bent out of shape about looking young? Be offended when they stop asking.
Back Off
Giphy"Setting boundaries with toxic people. It's not 'vindictive' or 'unforgiving,' it's healthy." ~ danthedoozy
Looks...
"Acknowledging physical characteristics in a non racist way. For example, let’s say you’re at a party and there are 20 white people and one black guy. You’re chatting to him for a bit and then he leaves. Later you’re talking to someone else and you’re like, 'I was chatting to someone earlier, can’t remember his name… he had a yellow shirt on… eerr, he was the tall guy with glasses….' Etc etc. Just say it was the one black guy, people take these things way too far." ~ Bont74205
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Parenting is a lifelong commitment but the load is certainly lightened when kids go off to college or move away for their first "adult" job. It can be quite ...Light Shedders
"I know a lot of these are trying to shed light on important issues, but the activism you see on Instagram (or really any social media platform for that matter) are getting pretty annoying and downright patronising. It's like they're not doing it for the activism so much as the likes and comments agreeing with them." ~ MistressGravity
Mocking
"Cultural appropriation when not done in a mocking manner. Especially with food. The people who get mad because a chef modified a dish someone else’s grandma made in the old country need to just stop. There’s already so much noise in the world, getting mad over food is ridiculous." ~ NKR1978
On behalf of...
Oh No Facepalm GIF by AminéGiphy"Getting offended on other people's behalf just on the assumption that they'd probably be offended." ~ WarmProfit
Just Text
"Not answering the phone. I am not contractually forced to answer the go**amn phone each time it rings." ~ Kadavez
"I am old enough to remember the phone ringing being an event! Lol there used to be a race to see who could answer it. That was back in the day when people actually called to talk. There was never any bill/debt collections. Sales pitches. Phone scams. 90% of the calls i get now are all scams… was a much simpler time." ~ CircusSizedPeanuts
Hurting No One...
"Offended by things that hurt no one. Tattoos, bad haircuts, men doing feminine things and vice versa. Such pointless things to be offended by, but people still do it." ~ keiome
"I simply don’t get where some people take the energy to care so deeply about what others are doing from. Seriously, why on earth would I spend time bitching about what this dude over there is doing in the bedroom, when I could do any number of things with it? I just can’t really imagine giving a crap about what others are doing with their free time." ~ RussianSead**k
Move On...
"As someone in the trans umbrella, accidental misgendering. Don't get all up in arms with a stranger calling you miss when you go by he/him pronouns. They don't know, they don't care to know. It's not on purpose. Move on." ~ Vashj1995
"Honestly if you politely say to someone 'I'd actually prefer if you'd call me X' they will most commonly be fine with that. There is no need for people to get super confrontational right off the bat with it." ~ gridfilter667
Frown
Happy Sacha Baron Cohen GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"People not smiling. For some reason it bugs the hell out of some people when someone doesn't smile often, to the point where they feel inclined to embarrass them by loudly telling them to smile more." ~ 14thCluelessbird
Weight Goals
"When I tell people about my weight loss goals, and I get hit with a 'you look fine/don't worry about what people think/you don't need to lose weight' and won't drop it, acting like I'm doing it out of self-hatred or something. Like, no, I do need to lose weight, I was 40lbs over my healthy BMI. I've lose 10 so far, and I tend to lose 30 more. it has nothing to do with self-esteem, I already think I'm attractive."
"I just have to be realistic with myself and admit that I'm putting myself at risk. my family has a bad history of heart disease and diabetes, and I don't wanna end up dead in the dirt at 55 like everyone else has. Some people lose weight for perfectly healthy reasons. it's not always just internalized hatred." ~ ZCLoki
"Who's Pete?"
"Using people's race to describe them. Like 'Who's Pete? My friend from school - asian guy, you met him before.' My mom used to say it was incredibly offensive to use someone's race to describe them. It's honestly just the fastest way to explain who you're talking about." ~ the_saas_guy
Kevin
"When someone tries to hold them accountable- which is different than attacking someone for their behavior. For example- 'It’s not that you’re an a**hole by default, Kevin; you’re actually a pretty chill guy. But when you get really drunk, and start yelling at everyone, it’s hard to not see your asshole-ish behavior.' It’s not who you are, it’s how you behave- It can be tricky to communicate but it can help maintain your relationships with people." ~ RielGreen
Trash
angry road rage GIFGiphy"Something simple like ringing my bicycle bell. I'm trying to alert you that I'm going so you don't accidentally sidestep and I run into you because of that! I'm not saying 'Get off the road, you piece of trash.'" ~ North_Spirit
Respectful Admiration
"A lot of people have a very diluted feeling of what cultural appropriation is. You see people wear clothing that belongs to a different culture and everyone immediately begins screaming cultural appropriation, but just wearing clothes from another culture really isn’t and in many ways can show someone respects that culture." ~ tuc-eert
Be Merry
"Saying merry Christmas. I don’t celebrate Hanukkah, but if a Jewish person said 'Happy Hanukkah' to me I’d be like oh sweet yeah bro happy Hanukkah. It’s literally just a day. Someone is telling you happy day." ~ Gullible_Tell3000
"As a Jewish bus driver, one time I dropped off a Muslim woman at the hospital where she worked, she said to me 'Merry Christmas!" and I said "Merry Christmas to you too!'"
"There was an awkward pause because we clearly didn't mean to say it to each-other on purpose, it was just instinctive, but also not worth trying to rectify either. Seriously it's not a big deal. It's just something funny to think about for me." ~ Rusty-Shackleford
Maybe it's time we get better therapists, or just try to be calm and listen to another person's intentions, and then react.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.