As a kid, I honestly truly deeply believed that being an adult would mean getting to do what I want.
Several people lied to me and I'd like to speak to all the managers.
Reddit user IseraphineI asked:
"What is something you didn’t realize was going to consume so much of your time as an adult?"
Aside from the fact that bills and taxes don't stop; there's for real no such thing as a day off.
Why did nobody tell me so much of my life would be doing stuff like THIS:
The Kitchen
"Cleaning the kitchen. No matter how many times I do it, it still needs to be done."
- atapia2
"I love the feeling of finishing the mound of dishes and cleaning the counter/sink, then I step back and admire my work."
"Then I turn around to see the pot and pan I forgot were on the stove..."
- buckut
"I've started cleaning as I cook and it feels like its given me half an hour back every night."
- [Reddit]
"Oh my god, seriously!!!!"
"It’s only my wife and I here and I feel like I have to clean the kitchen 3x a day! Where does it all come from!?!?!!??"
- lenny446
"Kitchen."
"Cooking and cleaning didn't consume that much of time when I was in college. Now as an adult, wtf is this?"
- HotPineapplePizza
aaron carter cleaning GIF by MTV CribsGiphyThe Schoolyard
"Dealing with 'office politics' - and not just at work."
"Stupid me actually thought that the schoolyard bullies, mean girls et. al. would grow up and act like, well, adults. Sadly, way too many adults have the manners and morals of entitled toddlers."
- Nachtjaeger68
"Duuuuude. This."
"I thought people grew up after high school.... Not the case. They're still clique-y, and people are f*cking more mean about sh*t. F*ck people."
- suspline
"Yes! This is exhausting."
"I just want to do my job and go home. No drama please. Hate that I have cried after work related to the bullying."
- Head_Journalist3846
Recovery
"Recovering from work. Sometimes I need the whole weekend to be barely ready for next Monday."
- Can-t-Even
"I can’t recover in a weekend anymore so I’ve just started crying before work as a way to try to physically purge the stress from my system. It’s not going so well."
- finlyboo
"Same. My weekend is literally, 'Laundry for work' 'pack lunches/make meals for work', 'make meals for today'...."
"I get up and I get ready to go to work, I come home, make dinner and go to bed because I need to go to work in the morning. Don't forget to leave an hour before you actually have to show up for work because commute."
"How do normal people do this?! Seriously."
- -Firestar-
Not Nachos
"Deciding what to make for dinner. God, it's the absolute worst thing about being an adult."
" 'I have to eat again. AND go shopping for the ingredients!?' "
"You're a kid and think it's all nachos and Sourpatch Kids until you realize you have to care about nutrition and meal balance."
- Carl__Gordon_Jenkins
"And you have to feed the kids. At least 3 meals a day. Every day."
"They. Never. Stop. Eating."
- Canadian_Decoy
Menial Moments
"Menial tasks such as DMV trips, driving/commuting, doctor appointments, basic household chores."
"I did them as a kid, but as an adult it seems so much more of an annoyance."
"Also, having to pick up groceries or make runs to the store for this that and whatever, fixing broken shit around the house, etc etc..."
- Admirable-Appeal6710
james spader ugh GIF by HULUGiphyAlways On
"Parenting."
"Those little f*ckers are relentless. And they are ALWAYS there."
- MasonJack12
"It never occurred to me that once you become a parent, for the first 5, 6, 7? years you are always on."
"You get up, do your work as a parent, go to work, do your work as an employee, leave work, do your work as a parent, etc etc forever."
"Like there aren't weekends anymore or chill nights after work. It is round-the-clock you, on your game."
"Sure you get moments here and there to retreat and it's all worth it, blah blah, but nobody really prepared me for this existence where life really is f*cking exhausting."
- linds360
"Thanks for writing this."
"Currently wrestling with the fact that even though the smallest now sleeps through the night, she doesn't like to go to bed early, so can be up beyond 9pm. Her older sibling, however, likes an early morning, so is frequently up before 6 am."
"I need 9 hours of sleep to be a relatively well adjusted human. I even went to a doctor when I was in my 20s to check I didn't have some medical issue: all normal."
"So if my smallest is up later than normal, and my eldest earlier than normal, there aren't even enough hours in the night for me to be rested. Never mind the fact that once awake, I am everyone's preferred slave."
"I haven't felt rested in over 7 years. I'm so tired."
- Munchies2015
The Anxiety Trap
"Being trapped into inaction by my anxiety."
- FarseerTaelen
"Oh my god this."
"There's a reason why I'm on reddit right now."
- mindsnare
"I feel this."
"I couldn’t sleep well last night while ruminating on all the things I’ve been putting off, woke up at 5am to have a few extra hours to do things, didn’t do any of those things."
"Circle continues"
- quenual
"I feel this one way too hard."
"Combination of existential panic that I'm a 'real adult' now (mortgage, business trips, what have you) and severe ADHD."
- Carbonatite
Bee-Gees Should Have Elaborated
"Staying alive."
"Cooking, eating, flossing, brushing, exercising, sleeping, dressing, stretching, screaming into the void in existential dread, showering… it all adds up!"
- anaccountofrain
"You can probably combine the screaming in existential dread with the shower to save time. That way you can also stay hydrated at the same time."
- jerrythecactus
Stayin Alive GIF by Bee GeesGiphyAnother Part Time Job
"Commuting. At least pre-COVID anyways."
"I spend about 10 hours per week commuting to my job. That's literally 25% of the hours I spend at my job. It's like a part time job in and of itself."
- Flaky-Fellatio
"We are supposed to return to office in March. Managers are terrified about the loss of productivity that will happen."
- diegojones4
"I calculated recently that I was spending the equivalent of 26 DAYS - just shy of a month of the year - on trains and buses going to and from work. It was bullshit."
- RedWestern
"Commuting to work. It frightens me how 2 hours of my day are just wasted sitting in a car and doing nothing. That's 10 hours a week, 40 hours a month, 480 hours a year wasted."
- Estbolbotkzn
Money Money Money
"Budgeting."
"I'm fairly meticulous with documenting the money I spend because I know I badly estimate how much money I have or have spent without having it laid out in front of me."
"I was always broke when I first started working because of that."
"So now I take some time each day to document every purchase I made in a spreadsheet that I've been using for a few years now. It is segmented into six month periods and broken down by pay period."
"It took me a while to set it up in a way that consistently worked, but now I know where every bit of money I spend is going."
"I also have my own little tricks that I can play on there where I'm always saving money, at least according to the almighty spreadsheet."
- HaroldSax
Out To Get You
"Having to worry about what's out to get me as an adult. There's just so many things."
"Is the IRS going to audit me someday on a past tax return?"
"Is my health insurance going to f*ck me over by deciding not to cover something when it should?"
"Is someone at my job going to have a bad day where I'm fired over it? And taking the time, if I care to, to fight for it back?"
"So much bullshit to worry about."
- [Reddit]
Moment of honesty, as someone who has worked from home for pretty much a decade - the commute thing kills me EVERY SINGLE TIME I need to go into an office.
It's so much wasted time! Why? This could've been an email, folks...
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Reddit user GCanuck asked:
"Which historically famous person do you think would be most surprised to learn they are famous?"
If your mind immediately went to that Vincent Van Gogh scene from Dr. Who then 1. you're a nerd (me too!) and 2. you're not alone.
Here's what Reddit had to say.
The Little Painter Fellow
Van Gogh Reaction GIF by GIF IT UPGiphy"Vincent van Gogh."
"His paintings made billions of dollars for rich people, but couldn't trade a painting for a meal during his lifetime. Had to be supported by his brother."
- strangedigital
"It’s amazing how many pieces he created in such a short time considering how unsuccessful he was in selling them while alive. He kept banging them out despite his 'failure'.”
- Fthewigg
"He was encouraged to paint as part of his therapy/rehabilitation. He was a pretty disturbed guy, and not in a romantic way."
- redkat85
"Have you ever seen the Doctor Who episode about him?"
- LucyVialli
"This is what actually prompted this question for me."
- GCanuck
A Diary
"Anne Frank"
- 222sick
"Most of the world has read your diary."
"Wait...All of my diary?"
- SuperstitiousPigeon5
"Her Father censored some of it because she talks about her body and other things, I can't really blame him for that. Modern prints are uncensored."
- zerbey
"She’d have been thrilled, but I don’t think surprised is the right word. She dreamed of being a published author. She knew that she was creating something valuable and important with her diary, and she wanted it to be published."
- shhhhquiet
"I wonder what she'd think of her diary being turned into a stage play including a Broadway run and thousands of young girls doing their best to recreate all the different facets both good and bad of how she acted during her time in the Annex."
- Lil_Jazzy
Herman The Whale
bart simpson episode 3 GIFGiphy"Herman Melville."
"He had a few early successes with seafaring books, but Moby-Dick was a total flop that got bad reviews, and he spent the final decades of his life working in the customs department."
"He would be shocked to hear he wrote the Great American Novel."
- centaurquestions
"My boyfriend is from New Bedford, MA. Apparently the local high schools there had big murals depicting scenes from Moby Dick." "
*That* would have amazed Melville."
- DoctorWatchamacallit
"Dude, that's the best part. You never know what's coming next. It's like:"
"45 pages of unintentionally hilarious interactions between Ishmael and Queequeg."
"30 pages of incredible, brooding drama written in stage play format for some reason."
"100 page essay about some minor technical details about whaling and how some village built their chieftain's hall out of a whale's ribcage."
"Another 20 pages of Ahab chewing the scenery and embodying mankind's self-destructive obsessions"
"Then Queequeg speaking his last words but then deciding he doesn't want to die yet and miraculously springing back to life."
"Like the ocean itself, you have to accept that Moby Dick moves at its own pace lol"
- jesushitlerchrist
We, In Fact, Did Not Forget
"Hegelochus, an actor who mispronounced a word in a play in the year 408 BC and was mocked so thoroughly for it, his mistake has made it into the collective ledger of things historians know about and generally agree upon having happened… and we're still aware of it over 2,400 years later."
"Imagine making a meme today with a word misspelled, and others found that misspelling so egregiously mockable that you are still known for it in the year 4422."
- film_composer
" 'Oh come on get over it. No one will remember about that by tomorrow' -Hehelochus’ mom probably"
- Kehl21
"He must have went to sleep running the moment in his head over and over again, but he probably tried to comfort himself by thinking, 'well, at least it's not like some space-age hyper-futuristic society is going to be discussing this thousands of years from now on their magic boxes powered by lightning in some language that doesn't even exist yet'."
- film_composer
"This is the worst nightmare of everyone that has been told to stop worrying because no one will pay as much attention to what you're doing as you."
"Counter point: Hegelochus."
- LectureAfter8638
Kafkaesque
"Kafka. Rarely published in his lifetime, and when he did it was in obscure magazines which nobody read."
"Explicitly asked that his works be destroyed after his death. It's only because his executor disregarded his wishes and published his unfinished works (which comprise the majority of his oeuvre) that he is famous today."
- IllustriousSquirrel9
"Kafka is a good example of how much can anxiety ruin a person's life"
- Sergey32321
"Kafka wrote his stories to be shared with a group of friends like story-telling at a campfire"
- Responsible_Put_2960
Gospel Legend
"Blind Willie Johnson."
"He passed away blind, poor and sick, lying in the ruins of his house after it was burnt down."
"And his song 'Dark was the Night, Cold was the Ground' left our solar system not too long ago aboard the Voyager to be listened to by life among the stars."
- dntExit
"I really like to think one day-thousands and thousands of years in the future, an alien race will find that golden disk and hear his voice."
"I think the fact he had such a poor life but could one day live eternally amongst the stars is so beautiful."
- gonzomullz
"Found out about him through a VSauce video."
"I listened to a couple songs and really liked them, he had a great voice and had a great talent for playing guitar despite being blind. Such a humbling and inspiring story he had"
- HRPr03
"I remember learning about this in a Vsauce video and crying profusely afterwards, but not only from sadness, also from hope, and some other emotions I can’t possibly describe."
"The fact that he died at the lowest of lows, blind, sick, poor, and alone, yet he very well could be the man that teaches the stars about the very essence of humanity… there’s just something so intrinsically beautiful about that."
"Humanity, flawed as it is, is as intrinsically kind and beautiful as it is evil. The world forgets that sometimes."
- cmoneybouncehouse
Other Madonna
mona lisa oh no you didnt GIFGiphy"Lisa Gherardini, the Mona Lisa model."
"She was just some unremarkable random wife. Fast forward a few hundred years and she ended up as one of the most recognizable faces in history."
- finsareluminous
"HER NAMES NOT EVEN MONA LISA?!"
- Jaded-Associate6891
" 'Monna' was a shortening of the Italian word 'madonna', which was the equivalent of the English 'Madam'."
- Koifish_Coyote
Honor Well Pass Death
"Glyndwr Michael"
"This is the dead body they used in Operation Mincemeat."
"The man basically consumed rat poison to commit suicide."
"His corpse was then used for a British secret operation to carry fake documents for the Nazis to find in order to make them think they were invading Greece and not Sicily."
"This man died in a alleyway and went on the become a dedicated Major in the British military buried with full military rites - under his fake name, but still him in physical form."
- TheBabyLeg123
"He was originally buried under his covert identity (in Spain where his body washed ashore after being deposited in the sea nearby by a Royal Navy submarine), Major William Martin of the Royal Marines."
"In 2009 or thereabouts his real name (Glyndwr Michael) was added to his gravestone."
- BravoBanter
"I thought he died of tuberculosis so it’d be more convincing he was a British serviceman who drowned? Or maybe that was the guy used to make the Nazis think the Allies were invading Calais instead of Normandy."
- UnconstrictedEmu
"It was rat poison but it's not clear if it was a suicide."
"The poison was in the form of a paste that would be smeared on pieces of bread; rodents eat the bread, rodents die. Or in this case; poor Welshman eats the bread, poor Welshman dies."
"It's not clear whether he knew the paste was poison, or whether he was just hungry and thought he genuinely found some bread lying around."
"Where the confusion comes in is that the guy in charge of Mincemeat claimed the body was that of a young man who died of pneumonia, and that the parents had given permission for his body to be used as it was."
- ConstableBlimeyChips
A Real Hero
"Henrietta Lacks"
- LucyVialli
"A literal hero of humanity who in some ways is still alive."
"Her family deserved so much better though."
- AzureBluet
"Can I get a short version? I don't think I've heard of her before"
- Fyrrys
"Her contribution to science is and continues to be gigantic"
- Available-Age2884
Laws Of Inheritance
"Gregor Mendel, the monk and scientist who experimented with pea plant traits to describe what we today literally call Mendelian inheritance."
"The significance of Mendel's findings, which he published in 1866, went almost completely unrecognized during his life and after his death. His work was only rediscovered in the early 1900s when modern ideas about inheritance and selection started taking hold."
- ThadisJones
"I can differ there. When he first stated his theory, he was sure it was correct (as it was) but was rejected. I can imagine him not being surprised at the fact that his work was re recognised as right later down the line"
- Brother_Not_Shook
"It's entirely possible you're correct and Mendel suspected that someday he'd be proved right. At the same time, however, he spent decades after his discovery trying and failing to elicit interest from the academic public or individual biologists, and retired from science to become a monastery administrator, which looks a lot like 'giving up'."
- ThadisJones
Okay, so we learned some interesting history today. How about you?
Don't you love a good myth?
Us too.
Let's put some of NSFW ones to the test.
RedditorWizzlyG33wanted to hear about what lies need to be exposed when it comes to sex, death and all things over the top in life. They asked:
"If MythBusters had a NSFW episode, what would you want to see on it?"
Oh Jamie
Season 1 Love GIF by OutlanderGiphy"A five second segment where Jamie points at a diagram and says, in complete deadpan, 'This is where the clitoris is.'"
TheFeelsGoodMan
"If they did such an episode, I could see this being in it for sure."
Chubby_Bub
BUSTED!
"I want them to purchase every pill they see on the internet that would make their penis bigger and see what happens."
tkepongo
"I think we can call that one BUSTED already. In what version of any world can you imagine there is a simple pill to make your junk more impressive and every dude you know doesn't already have a case of 10000 pills stashed under the bed?"
_Alternate_Throwaway
Don't Sit
"Can you actually get an STD from a toilet seat?"
BloodyChapel
"This is an interesting thing actually. It was a myth deliberately perpetuated to make people less ashamed of asking for STD tests."
leonielion
"Fun fact: There are multiple STDs that can be dormant (like inactive) for years. Like several years."
"You’d never know you had gotten it. Then something triggers it, maybe an infection or something, and then you start showing symptoms/Can now test positive. So technically a partner from years before could have given it to you and you either think your SO is cheating or haven’t been with anybody in a long time. Either way it’s scary when you think about it."
DesperateMango1731
After Death
"Does a person really stay conscious for a few moments after beheading?"
SammyGotStache
"There was a French physician who tested this in the early 1900s. After a criminal was beheaded he picked up the head and shouted the criminal's name. The guy opened his eyes and made eye contact with the physician over a period of 30 seconds whenever his name was called. Edit: I provided the source in other comments but here it is on the original comment."
UnadulteratedWalking
Theories
looking down homer simpson GIFGiphy"Size correlates to what? Feet? Nose? So many theories."
throwxxawayxx10977
"I have size 12 feet and a massive nose and huge hands and the little guy is small."
FireTrickle
Oh the lies and the rumors and the shade.
More is More
Seth Meyers Dancing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"They did prove that women with larger breasts will get more tips. Which isn’t really not safe for work, because Kari literally was working at a coffee shop."
Unsettleingpresence
"If breast enlargements will help your job would you be able to write them off on your taxes?"
Mr3k
Deep Down
"How deep underwater are you still able to orgasm?"
Successful_Present39
"Pretty sure there's no lower limit. When you're underwater, your body is under pressure, but for the most part doesn't actually get compressed. Only your air spaces (lungs, sinuses, inner ears) are really subject to compression from ambient water pressure. There can be painful exceptions like air pockets inside a tooth filling, which I do not recommend experiencing."
"Most of your body is water or various solids, which push back on the ambient water pressure. You prostate shouldn't be blocked by water pressure any more than your bladder is. Source: am old scuba diver, I've done all kinds of things a hundred feet underwater. At that depth the ambient pressure is 4 bar, which in olden-tymes units is nearly 60 pounds per square inch. Also: fish do it underwater, doesn't seem to stop them."
UlrichZauber
Tasting Men
"Does pineapple make your semen taste better?"
TMNT4lyfe
Keep Thinking
"Post orgasm clarity: How much better can you solve puzzles or remember something?"
texanaftdy
"Well, recently I did a lot of reaction time tests on humanbenchmark.com and while normally I get average of around 140-145, after a good O I consistently got around 130-135, very often getting single clicks close to 120 which almost never happens in other cases. And it's weird because I feel more tired but apparently my reaction time improves for some reason."
berni2905
Safety First
Safety Helmet GIF by Just SecondsGiphy"A take on the top ten OSHA violations list to see if they are as dangerous as they say."
Mariuxpunk007
"Safety regulations are written in blood."
GegenscheinZ
Well that is a ton of great suggestions. Let's work on it.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Make the most with what makes you happy
"I've learned to enjoy my own company and focus on my hobbies."
"Funny enough, this gives me stuff to talk about when I am around people."
Voices in the background
"Listening to people talk on YouTube so I feel less alone in my house."
Millions of friends, just one click away.
"Chat with random people on Reddit."
internet computer GIFGiphyStill figuring it out
"I don't I'm f*cking miserable."- Savathunh
"I don't :("- __MashedPotatoes__·
Get my body movin'
"Working out."
"It makes me feel better about myself and I have something to do alone."- DerpBread69
Gym Working Out GIF by Chance The RapperGiphyWho says I need to?
"I love solitude."- Befuddled_GenXer
solitude GIFHit the snooze button
"Sleep 12+ hours a day."- RockandRoll682
Instant tension and relief
"Lots of arguing online about sh*t I don't care about at all, just to have some form of social interaction, and get off at least 3 times a day."-
There are very few worse feelings than that of being alone.
But it's also quite remarkable how much doing something that makes you happy, be it ever so simple, can elevate your feelings.