As a kid, I honestly truly deeply believed that being an adult would mean getting to do what I want.
Several people lied to me and I'd like to speak to all the managers.
Reddit user IseraphineI asked:
"What is something you didn’t realize was going to consume so much of your time as an adult?"
Aside from the fact that bills and taxes don't stop; there's for real no such thing as a day off.
Why did nobody tell me so much of my life would be doing stuff like THIS:
"Cleaning the kitchen. No matter how many times I do it, it still needs to be done."
"I love the feeling of finishing the mound of dishes and cleaning the counter/sink, then I step back and admire my work."
"Then I turn around to see the pot and pan I forgot were on the stove..."
"I've started cleaning as I cook and it feels like its given me half an hour back every night."
"Oh my god, seriously!!!!"
"It’s only my wife and I here and I feel like I have to clean the kitchen 3x a day! Where does it all come from!?!?!!??"
"Cooking and cleaning didn't consume that much of time when I was in college. Now as an adult, wtf is this?"
- HotPineapplePizzaaaron carter cleaning GIF by MTV CribsGiphy
"Dealing with 'office politics' - and not just at work."
"Stupid me actually thought that the schoolyard bullies, mean girls et. al. would grow up and act like, well, adults. Sadly, way too many adults have the manners and morals of entitled toddlers."
"I thought people grew up after high school.... Not the case. They're still clique-y, and people are f*cking more mean about sh*t. F*ck people."
"Yes! This is exhausting."
"I just want to do my job and go home. No drama please. Hate that I have cried after work related to the bullying."
"Recovering from work. Sometimes I need the whole weekend to be barely ready for next Monday."
"I can’t recover in a weekend anymore so I’ve just started crying before work as a way to try to physically purge the stress from my system. It’s not going so well."
"Same. My weekend is literally, 'Laundry for work' 'pack lunches/make meals for work', 'make meals for today'...."
"I get up and I get ready to go to work, I come home, make dinner and go to bed because I need to go to work in the morning. Don't forget to leave an hour before you actually have to show up for work because commute."
"How do normal people do this?! Seriously."
"Deciding what to make for dinner. God, it's the absolute worst thing about being an adult."
" 'I have to eat again. AND go shopping for the ingredients!?' "
"You're a kid and think it's all nachos and Sourpatch Kids until you realize you have to care about nutrition and meal balance."
"And you have to feed the kids. At least 3 meals a day. Every day."
"They. Never. Stop. Eating."
"Menial tasks such as DMV trips, driving/commuting, doctor appointments, basic household chores."
"I did them as a kid, but as an adult it seems so much more of an annoyance."
"Also, having to pick up groceries or make runs to the store for this that and whatever, fixing broken shit around the house, etc etc..."
- Admirable-Appeal6710james spader ugh GIF by HULUGiphy
"Those little f*ckers are relentless. And they are ALWAYS there."
"It never occurred to me that once you become a parent, for the first 5, 6, 7? years you are always on."
"You get up, do your work as a parent, go to work, do your work as an employee, leave work, do your work as a parent, etc etc forever."
"Like there aren't weekends anymore or chill nights after work. It is round-the-clock you, on your game."
"Sure you get moments here and there to retreat and it's all worth it, blah blah, but nobody really prepared me for this existence where life really is f*cking exhausting."
"Thanks for writing this."
"Currently wrestling with the fact that even though the smallest now sleeps through the night, she doesn't like to go to bed early, so can be up beyond 9pm. Her older sibling, however, likes an early morning, so is frequently up before 6 am."
"I need 9 hours of sleep to be a relatively well adjusted human. I even went to a doctor when I was in my 20s to check I didn't have some medical issue: all normal."
"So if my smallest is up later than normal, and my eldest earlier than normal, there aren't even enough hours in the night for me to be rested. Never mind the fact that once awake, I am everyone's preferred slave."
"I haven't felt rested in over 7 years. I'm so tired."
The Anxiety Trap
"Being trapped into inaction by my anxiety."
"Oh my god this."
"There's a reason why I'm on reddit right now."
"I feel this."
"I couldn’t sleep well last night while ruminating on all the things I’ve been putting off, woke up at 5am to have a few extra hours to do things, didn’t do any of those things."
"I feel this one way too hard."
"Combination of existential panic that I'm a 'real adult' now (mortgage, business trips, what have you) and severe ADHD."
Bee-Gees Should Have Elaborated
"Cooking, eating, flossing, brushing, exercising, sleeping, dressing, stretching, screaming into the void in existential dread, showering… it all adds up!"
"You can probably combine the screaming in existential dread with the shower to save time. That way you can also stay hydrated at the same time."
- jerrythecactusStayin Alive GIF by Bee GeesGiphy
Another Part Time Job
"Commuting. At least pre-COVID anyways."
"I spend about 10 hours per week commuting to my job. That's literally 25% of the hours I spend at my job. It's like a part time job in and of itself."
"We are supposed to return to office in March. Managers are terrified about the loss of productivity that will happen."
"I calculated recently that I was spending the equivalent of 26 DAYS - just shy of a month of the year - on trains and buses going to and from work. It was bullshit."
"Commuting to work. It frightens me how 2 hours of my day are just wasted sitting in a car and doing nothing. That's 10 hours a week, 40 hours a month, 480 hours a year wasted."
Money Money Money
"I'm fairly meticulous with documenting the money I spend because I know I badly estimate how much money I have or have spent without having it laid out in front of me."
"I was always broke when I first started working because of that."
"So now I take some time each day to document every purchase I made in a spreadsheet that I've been using for a few years now. It is segmented into six month periods and broken down by pay period."
"It took me a while to set it up in a way that consistently worked, but now I know where every bit of money I spend is going."
"I also have my own little tricks that I can play on there where I'm always saving money, at least according to the almighty spreadsheet."
Out To Get You
"Having to worry about what's out to get me as an adult. There's just so many things."
"Is the IRS going to audit me someday on a past tax return?"
"Is my health insurance going to f*ck me over by deciding not to cover something when it should?"
"Is someone at my job going to have a bad day where I'm fired over it? And taking the time, if I care to, to fight for it back?"
"So much bullshit to worry about."
Moment of honesty, as someone who has worked from home for pretty much a decade - the commute thing kills me EVERY SINGLE TIME I need to go into an office.
It's so much wasted time! Why? This could've been an email, folks...
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Many people live by the mantra that ignorance is bliss.
It's true, how being left in the dark about influential pieces of information is preferable.
For example, being cognizant about a co-worker's questionable private life can adversely affect how others interact with this individual if they object to their tendencies outside of the workplace.
Not knowing certain things can be freeing, a notion that was explored when Redditor Distantmole asked:
"What’s something you really wish you didn’t know?"
These Redditor examples are based on an occupational hazard.
"How to fix a printer. Sometimes, I just play dumb when I'm asked..."
"I was the ONLY one who knew how to unjam the printer at my old job. And it was a lemon - it jammed at least once a day. I quit the job because I was overworked and unappreciated. My replacement left in less than a year. I hope they're suffering without their little resident unjammer. Thanks for letting me vent."
Parents are people too, and you wouldn't be here were it not for them.
So there's that.
The Origin Of You
"I know exactly where, when, and how I was made in grand detail. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to tell me this, but I now know and I wish i didn't."
"I was conceived in a waterbed in my parents’ old condo. My dad told me when I was 15…"
Pulling Back The Curtain
"My father photographed all the births, me and my siblings."
"Each of us had a photo album growing up."
"They started with the photos of our births."
"My father took photos of us coming out.... of the vagina."
"This is the first page of my childhood photo album."
Too Close For Comfort
"My parents told me they conceived my younger sibling in a tent with me and my older sibling while we were sleeping in the same tent. I did not need to know that."
You think you know everything about the members of your family.
However, some things about them are better left a mystery.
"Was on a vacation with my grandma in a shared room and she disappeared into the bathroom for 5 minutes, came out, I didn't think any of it and didn't care, and she came up to me and said."
"I have bad constipation right now so I shoved a bit of soap in my butt to help softening it up! Maybe I'll fart bubbles soon, he he!"
"That happened 6 years ago but it's burned into my brain."
The Family's An Open Book
"Didn't need to know the reason I'm mums least favourite child and I certainly didn't need her to tell me what colour my step dad's pubes are. Didn't need my Grandparents to tell me that they had sex the night before on the couch I was sitting on or my grans favourite position."
"Also didn't need to know my uncle only has one testicle or that my dad was in the room when my cousin was conceived. My family is far to open lol."
"If you find an unlabeled videotape laying around burn the f'king thing just in case."
The myth of mammals.
Scary Fish Tongue
"There is a parasitic isopod that gets inside a fish’s mouth, severs the tongue, and lives in the fish’s mouth acting as a replacement tongue."
I wish I didn't know about as Demodex or eyelash mites.
Oh, you didn't about them?
Prepare to have your mind blown.
There is a community of mites living in the pores of our faces.
Ever wondered why your face randomly itches when there's nothing visibly making contact with your face? That's because these little stubby boring worms–that are a distant relative of ticks and spiders–are having a party inside your fleshy dwelling, and they are grateful for its host to extend the welcome mat.
Americans often drop popular sayings in conversation that have some element of truth to them.
You've undoubtedly come across phrases like, "Kill two birds with one stone" or "it's raining cats and dogs."
While those are used to describe actions, like the state of the weather, there are other phrases that are dispensed as words of wisdom to help individuals through a challenging situation.
But the endeavor to console someone by using this tactic is not always effective.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Braca5 asked:
"What popular sayings are bullsh*t?"
These sound familiar?
The Survivor Mentality
"whatever doesn't kill you just makes you stronger."
"Looks aren't important."
"It's true. They don't always or entirely matter, but they do. That's kind of how superficial humans are."
Not Every Pain Heals
"Time heals all wounds."
"There's another one that goes like this 'time heals nothing, it just replaces memories.'"
The stigma around this is so foul, the guilty will lie about their offensive crime.
"He who smelt it dealt it"
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."
Psychology Around The Guilt
"The irony is it's almost always the opposite that's true. Most people would rather just be quiet about a fart than try to put it on somebody else and as it is you usually become pretty accustomed to your own and probably don't even smell half of the ones that slip out so likely the person who dealt it is going to be one of the last to actually consciously smell it."
Playing by the rules doesn't always get you places.
"Cheaters never win."
"A better saying:"
'Treason doth never prosper, what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it Treason.' John Harington (1561 - 1612)
Comeuppance Never Comes
"What goes around, comes around."
"Bullsh*t. I've seen people be jerks my entire life (I'm 57 y/o) and they never got what should have come around to them."
Thing About Karma
"Worse, it's an excuse to not take responsibility. A few years back, I had discovered a nasty person who was fooling the public by buying dogs from Amish auctions of out of state, bringing them, unvaccinated, across state lines, and pawning them off on the public as 'rescues' but also taking loads of donations when she was not registered as a charity. She was not using the funds for medical care. The gal was a flashy blonde in designer clothes and knew how to fool people."
"The county authorities were investigating and needed more evidence. I approached the owner of a local pet supply store where she operated her scam and asked him to cooperate. He banned her from the store but completely refused to cooperate with the investigation. Excuse, 'Karma will get her.'"
"B*tch got off with just a fine when she would have faced animal cruelty charges."
"Karma? No, it's not a thing."
Those who adopt a passive way of thinking end up making up for lost time.
Turning A Blind Eye
"Out of sight, out of mind."
"Ever lost track of a spider?"
How Much Time Do You Have?
"Good things come to those who wait."
Lond Distance Relationships Aren't For Everyone
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
I think those who say "if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life," is debatable.
Depending on the situation, being forced to do something you once loved so you could earn a living can potentially breed resentment.
I'm a former dancer who absolutely lived off the adrenaline of performing on a stage. But when the cast I was performing with at a theme park was forced to do the same rigorous show five times a day–sometimes in intense heat–I was miserable.
Once, I severely twisted my ankle mid-performance simply because I was physically exhausted but continued giving it my 100% when my body was ready to give out. That's when most performance-based injuries occur.
That phrase certainly got a second hard look from me back then.
No two people share exactly the same likes and interests.
But on occasion, one might find themselves being among the few, if not the sole members of a certain fan club.
Indeed, while Cats earned a place on the list of the worst movies of all time, its 19% score on Rotten Tomatoes suggests that there are a handful of people who actually liked it.
Or while many people dread having to clean their homes, some simply can't wait to get started, and will look for any and every opportunity to do so.
Redditor StardustNova_ was curious to hear where members of the Reddit community found themselves in a distinct minority of appreciation, leading them to ask:
"What's something you like that the vast majority people hate?"
You've got me all tied up in knots!
"I love untangling things."
"Your Christmas lights end up in a ball and there’s no telling where it starts or ends?"
"Got a necklace that got rolled up into a total mess?"
"I’m your de-tangler."
"Headphones come out of your pocket looking like a Tangela? "
"Total zen for me."
"Wish I could make a few bucks with it tho."- Not_Jo_Mama
I'm all ears!
"People that talk a lot so I don’t need to."
"I like listening to them & I find their energy refreshing."- krasavetsa
"Everything about the airport."
"Idk why but it’s so fascinating."
"Honestly I like it more than the trip sometimes lol."- abigailgwhitneyairport GIFGiphy
"The cold never bothered me anyway"
"A Winnipeg winter day where there's not a cloud in the sky or a breath of wind, but it's so f*cking cold out your nose hairs freeze together every time you breathe."- FakeLordFarquaad
When life gives you lemons...
"Apparently a lot of people don't like the lemon/yellow starburst candy, and that's the one I prefer."- mermaid_with_pants
Sudsy, soapy dreams...
"Doing the dishes."
"I find it so calming."- shakensunshineSeason 5 Episode 10 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
The gift that keeps on giving.
"It's super therapeutic and relaxing to me."
"I'll wrap everyone's presents in the house, even the ones they have to give to other people!"- happygoose2022
Sweeet and sparkly!
"Fruit flavored sparkling water."- suitcaseinherhand
"It's raining, it's pouring..."
"Gloomy and rainy days."- eggtart_princerainy day GIFGiphy
Can't dive too deep!
"I got addicted to research when I was in college and something about putting everything together to present a coherent argument is just exciting for me."- ILoveFoodALotMore
It's always interesting to hear the thing which would make some people groan with misery that would make others cheer with glee.
Nor should always look down on someone for loving something you absolutely hate, as they could help you wrap those presents you've been putting off because you hate it so much.
And who knows, maybe Cats wasn't as bad as you remembered...
It's usually a good feeling to be "on top".
To be found at the top of the list of a notable or unique accomplishment.
Though having the distinction of being in the top 0.1 percent of something might not always be something to brag about, resulting in some keeping this distinction to themselves.
If only because some people might be unusually fascinated by their so-called "accomplishment", that they'll never stop being bombarded by questions.
Redditor ImLostInTheForrest was curious to hear if any members of the Reddit community believed they were in the 0.1 percent of anything, be it commendable, bizarre or unfortunate, leading them to ask:
"What’s something you believe you may be in the 0.1% of?"
A mighty heart indeed
"Scars on my heart."
"I have about 30, I think."
"On my 4th heart procedure, I had 24 cardiac ablations."
"They use radio waves to kill tissue to create scarring so that effectively signals can't travel through that way."
"During one procedure, epicardial, meaning both inside and outside the heart. by the top electrophysiologist on the east coast."
"He said only one other patient of his had more done in one procedure."
"Took 10 hours."
"I could hear the nurses gossiping about me in the hallway."
"This was 7 years ago, and now my heart is working great!"- pearlie_girl·
Extremely comfortable in my skin
"Half of my body is a birthmark of tan skin, and the other half is pale white."
"It's right down the middle of my stomach and same with my back."
"I've only ever seen 1 person online with it saying 'chimerism' but idk if that's same with me."
"Idk but it's uncommon." - User Deleted
"Still living with stage IV lung cancer for 13 yrs."- Flashy-Cattle-8086
Big shoes to fill indeed...
"I wear a size 18."- wearegoodthings
Love your job!
"Don't know if it's less cool because I do it for work, but I 'photograph' atoms and crystalline atomic structures most days."
"I get to see the world in a way few ever do which is kinda neat."- RayseBraizeAnimation Loop GIF by xponentialdesignGiphy
An exclusive club no one wants to be part of...
"I have this condition called Miyoshi Myopathy, which, thankfully, affects only my calves and hence my walking capabilities."
"My doctor told me it is rare, but tbh statistically rare does not really mean anything, everyone might have it but they either did not get out of their way to test it, via taking blood and had it examined in a lab, or they just never realized there was something wrong at all."
"If you are wondering why I said 'Thankfully it only affected the legs', it is because it is a muscle disorder, and some disorders affect Cardiac, heart, and Pulmonary, lungs, muscles that will obviously not be pretty."
"I have to get tested every year to make sure all my vital functions are normal and as of now nothing significant is noted and I should be living a long and healthy life."- 1123Icantthinkofname
It's harder than you think...
"Folks who know percentages."- mrg1957Giphy
"Apparently only 0.1% of people become mechanical engineers in the US and an even smaller percentage are women, so maybe that?"
"I was also less than 2 lbs when I was born, and I think the percentage is probably similar."
"I somehow have no lasting physical issues from that, though my sister has cerebral palsy."- s_p_o_c_k
Plenty to go around!
"I have 3 functional kidneys."
"No it doesn't mean I pee more."
"No it doesn't mean I can drink more alcohol, thats the liver."
"No I won't sell it for under $71,241." - User Deleted
While some wouldn't necessarily consider some of these things an accomplishment, all of them certainly make for fascinating conversation starters.
Seriously, where would the third kidney even go...?