Clueless in love?
Grab a pen and get ready to get a clue because we're breaking it down today.
Firstly, don't feel bad.
Lots of us are completely and totally oblivious. You're among friends here.
Reddit user IsellKidneys2356 asked:
"What screams 'I'm attracted to you?' "
If you're reading this article with a particular someone in mind, hoping this article will help you figure out if they're into you or not, keep reading til the end and we'll give you a sure-fire way to know.
You're Not That Funny
"Laughing at your worst jokes."
"I told my friend when he was nervous on his first date 'if she laughs, you got a shot' to which he replied 'why?' ”
"I said 'cause you ain’t f*cking funny and she’s catering to your frail ego just like all girls do when they like a guy' he said it was great advice lol 😂"
"My girlfriend was so giggly when we first met and it was so precious."
"I have a good sense of humor but I know I’m not THAT funny. It gave me peace of mind early on knowing she probably had the same butterfly feeling in her stomach as me."
- lanman33Marvel Studios Reaction GIF by Disney+Giphy
"I worked alongside this guy for several months, and he never said a word to me."
"For the longest time, I thought he hated me, as he would actively go out of his way to avoid speaking to me at all, or even make any kind of eye contact."
"I thought he was super cute, but I'm also pretty shy and introverted, which is why I just let it go for several months."
"It eventually got to the point where it was just uncomfortable, and I asked him what the deal was, and what I could have possibly done to make him dislike me so much."
"It took him a minute or so to respond, and then he said 'I'm really sorry. I'm incredibly shy, and have been since I was a kid. But I think you are the most flawlessly beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I am terrified to talk to you.' "
"We've been together for over three years, and married for four months."
"Apparently my fiancee dropped a whole lot of hints before we got together."
"A big standout was complaining that she didn't have any plans for our Junior prom, and then asking me what my plans for that night were."
"My dumb@ss responded with something to the effect of 'F*ck prom, I'll be home playing Mario.' "
"My girlfriend did the same thing, to the point she kissed me and I managed to convince myself that she wasn't interested."
"I ignored it for another month before I got told by multiple people that she was into me and I asked her out. In conclusion, I am a f*cking idiot."
"When my son was about 16 he went off on a camping weekend with a heap of friends. There was one girl who’d he’d been getting kind of close with for ages, and I had a fair idea that something would happen while they were away."
"So when I picked him up, I asked him how it had gone."
"He said it was so weird, they’d had a great night, it was almost bedtime and she hasn’t set up her tent yet. He asked her about it and she said she didn’t know how to put it up so she was just going to have to sleep on the ground by the fire."
"Ever the gentleman, he sprung to his feet and recruited a friend to help set it up for her in the dark and the cold. Damsel saved."
"Fast forward an hour or so and everyone’s asleep. He hears a rustle at his tent door and there she is, complaining that she’s so cold all on her own in her big scary tent."
"Bless that sweet ignorant boy, he said 'oh. Well here you go, take my sleeping bag' and held it out to her. He remembers she looked sad and confused and he didn’t understand; he’d done a nice thing and now she wouldn’t be cold. Damsel saved."
"He shivered and froze all night and ended up climbing into another tent and going top to toe with his buddy."
"I said to him 'Mate, do you reckon maybe she wanted to sleep in your tent with you?' and the look on that poor kid’s face when the penny dropped…"
"When you're in a group and the person consistently looks at you whenever something funny or interesting happens."
"I had a meeting yesterday afternoon. It was the first time for most of us meeting in person."
"The last person to arrive was this stunning girl and when we looked at each other I swear to God there might as well have been lightning shooting out both our eyes."
"At first I thought 'nah I imagined that.' As she sat down close to me we looked at each other for a solid second and smiled at the same time for no particular reason other than it just feeling right."
"She started making conversation with me specifically. We had to split up into groups to interview people, and she and I were paired by the supervisor (best supervisor ever)."
"For the next two hours, we just joked and talked with each other and every time something funny happened we just looked at each other automatically."
"I've been with a lot of people but never had this sort of easy chemistry happen before, certainly not so quickly. I'm excited to talk to her some more, regardless of where it leads. I asked her out to lunch sometime and she said yes!"
"It might be a bit because we're noth busy but it's a good development :)"
Full Of Excuses
"Excuses to be near them. 'Lets study together - we'll get more work done ; 'Oh, you're going that way? me too, lets walk together.' "
"My sophomore year of college a friend of mine said we should skip a formal to get more studying done."
"These formals were a big deal campus-wide and everyone went. Also, we didn’t take a single class together."
"She showed up at my dorm wearing knee-high stockings and a men’s dress shirt that was unbuttoned to her cleavage. She was not wearing a bra."
"I…studied. Hurts to think about to this day."
"I’m guilty of that second one lol."
"There was a girl in one of my college classes that I got to know really well that I started to get a huge crush on her. We would always walk out of class together and I had always said that her spot was on the way to my spot when in reality it was way off."
"But I just enjoyed those walks every day. I looked forward to that."
"Losing their train of thought when you walk by, while they are talking to someone else."
"I work with my spouse. We've been married 14 years. I still lose my train of thought when he walks by."
"This happened to me once."
"It was absurd how I trailed off when she went by in a summer dress. Good lord, 100% embarrassing."
"Omg this is true."
"I was giving a mock presentation to my group mate and that guy suddenly joined and spectated. I tripped up so many time in that presentation."
- andrew_hihiSurprised Pixar GIF by DisneyGiphy
This Classic Move
"Finding any reason to touch each other."
"Whether is play fighting, feeling up muscles, poking someone's bruise, comparing hand sizes of they actively try to find a reason to touch you, they probably like you."
"Comparing hand sizes is a CLASSIC move."
"Comparing hand sizes is like my go to :/ I’m ashamed."
Food = Love
"If they know you like a certain food and buy it for you."
"The guy I liked loved this one dumpling place near uni. He’d constantly stop and get some on the way home."
"One day when we where walking together, beforehand he said he felt like some but didn’t have his card so no money. So even though I knew he wanted some, when I asked if he wanted me to buy it for him he politely declined."
"So I pretended to buy some for myself (since I sometimes would). Then I ate like 3 to make it believable and said I was suddenly full and he could have the rest."
"I just wanted him to be happy with his dumplings."
"When you catch them absentmindedly looking at you."
"Even if they’re doing something/talking to someone else but they’re still in tune with you and mindful of where you are in the room. Because, even subconsciously, they’re thinking about you."
"Also, going out of their way to make you smile/laugh is a good one. Same with keeping notes on your interests."
"Most of the girls that I knew were interested in me were girls who I kept catching staring at me."
"Initially I never made any effort go further, but then I did and found out they were actually interested in me. I have figured out the 'I like you' gaze now and it's easy to know who likes me."
"Finding reasons to touch you, wanting to see you, hear your voice and most important - their gaze."
"You can just tell by the way someone looks at you. When you’re in a group or a party, you look at them and find them already looking at you from across the room."
"Its in the way they watch you from across the room when they think you are not noticing."
"The easy smile when you are talking to them. They really listen to what you have to say without talking too. much because they are cataloging and filing it into their brain for future reference."
"But it starts with the look..."
"A tendency to end sentences by looking at each other even if there's other people around."
"Also, making frequent side comments to each other in group settings. They just want to talk to each other more."
"It can be hard to notice if it's happening to you, but is super obvious from a third person view when people are into each other."
- Nightthundermake up lol GIF by LifetimeGiphy
Talk Talk Talk
"Always trying to find ways to talk to you."
"Walking up to you and finding an excuse to start a conversation with you is usually a good sign, in my experience."
"This might come off as egotistical, but it's something I noticed and haven't been able to tell anyone ..."
"At the gym I have a 'friendly acquaintance' who I see all the time. We generally just exchange pleasantries, but in December I ruptured the triceps tendon in my right arm."
"She happens to be a physical therapist, so there has been a lot more chit-chat since then."
"A few days ago I entered the gym, and went to stow my jacket in a cubby. She was nearby, so I said 'Good morning' and when she turned I saw her pupils dilate to like 11."
"Since then I've seen the same thing twice."
"Ocular reflexes don't lie."
"Men to women:"
"Driving. He takes you home or picks you up without being asked."
"Killing things. He drops whatever he is doing when you need him to help you smash a bug or trap a mouse."
"Paying attention. He notices changes in your grooming and dress and remembers things you say."
"Ponying up. He pays for meals, coffee, movie tickets, etc. even if you aren't dating."
"Showing off. He subtly or not so subtly mentions how much he can bench press or how much his last client paid him."
"Spending time. He seems not to mind hanging around you for no apparent reason."
"Telling you in so many words. He voluntarily admits that he did all these things because he was attracted to you."
Some people aren't just oblivious - they're almost impossible to convince.
Even if you tell them flat-out that you're attracted to them.
Even if you have sex with them.
Even if you marry them!
Yeah ... there may be no hope for these folks.
I Do. For Real.
"It took a while of being literally married for me to be convinced my husband was into me."
"I’m not always the smartest lol, no matter how much he told me or kissed me or did sweet, thoughtful gestures, my own insecurity fought me every step of the way."
"I do understand now that I’m truly loved just as much as I love him."
"For me it’s the intrusive thought that my wife believes she loves me but doesn’t realize she’s actually just tolerating me and when someone better comes around she’ll be like 'oh damn I was wrong.' ”
"Married 5 years, that's how it feels to me."
"I'm slowly realizing that she didn't just marry me because I was the best option at the time."
"She has a hard time expressing love because she grew up in a very suppressed household. Her parents never kissed, showed much affection in front of the kids beyond saying I love you."
"Most of the extent of her showing love is just flat out telling me."
"She's brutally honest with her words and words mean a lot to her so, that's good, but I'm just not a words guy, I need physical touch, quality time, etc."
"But over the past 5 years, I've slowly been noticing the subconscious things she does that tell me she loves me. Some of the signs that people have posted here are actually what she does and it shows that even though she has a hard time expressing it, that adorable heart of hers yearns after me."
"A year ago, we were in a really rough spot, mostly fueled by me not feeling loved by her, so the fact that I can acknowledge this is huge for us."
- [Reddit]Living Single Kiss GIFGiphy
Sis Dropped The Ball
"A girl that had a locker beside mine in high school asked if I was going to prom and who I was going with."
"I replied, 'Nah, I’m not going I don’t want to pay for that sh*t.' Even more, one of her friends also pushed even further by asserting that we should go to prom together and I held my ground by, once again, stating that I wouldn’t even be going."
"I later found out that this girl had asked my sister if I had someone to go to prom with and made it clear that she wanted to go with me."
"Why my sister didn’t let me know of this information I will never know."
"I was definitely very attracted to this girl but my dumbass couldn’t comprehend that she would actually want to go with me."
"Close contact, especially the unconventional ones."
"Went out with workmates and a colleague (slightly tipsy) started rubbing my leg with her foot while at table."
"Never been flirted with like that and didn't know how to respond appropriately, so I panicked and just gently pushed her away. I cringe at how I handled the situation to this day."
Cherry Stem Saga
"What screams 'I'm attacted to you?' I wouldn't know because I'm an idiot."
"My wife tied a cherry stem in her mouth for me the night we started dating. Tied a cherry stem - it's such a cliche but I still missed it."
"She had to 'scream louder' and hold my hand and press into me hard later on because I was f*cking hopeless taking the hint."
Don't worry, we didn't forget out promise - you're here for that sure-fire way to find out if someone is attracted to you.
Yes, it's awkward - but it really is the only way to know for sure. Sorry. Thems the breaks, fam.
You're gonna have to just ask.
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Have you ever found yourself in a conversation, when someone brings up a topic they aren't too familiar with, but you are?
This gives you the opportunity to sweep in and share your knowledge on the subject.
While one would imagine that your relative expertise on the subject might result in thanks and appreciation, more often than not, the reaction from your friends is "why do you know that?"
Awkward as it may feel at the moment, there are very few people who don't carry some unusual areas of expertise and trivia on subjects most others are most likely unfamiliar with.
Redditor quadruple_b was curious to learn the random facts others have shared which wound up bringing their conversations to a halt, leading them to ask:
What is a really weird fact, that makes people say "why do you know that?"
Octopuses... they're just like us
"Octopuses are usually very antisocial but when they’re under the influence of ecstasy they are more willing to spend time around each other or even hug other octopuses."- Stab_That_Ukulele
The body compensates
"When you are starving, and have little body fat left, your body can grow almost fur-like hair to insulate itself in absence of fat."- A_Stupid_Fish29
"Your body’s normal functions can slow down to accommodate organ disease."
"For example, I have 40% lung function, but my O2 is completely normal at 98% saturation."
"They didn’t discover any lung disease until I had a ct scan done for other reasons and my lungs happened to show up in that."- nocturnal_numbness
What this would do for humanity!
"Cheetahs are so genetically similar that supposedly you can draw blood from one and inject it straight into another one without any health issues in the receiving animal."
"I.E. no blood type or clotting factor variations."- 0ttrbig cats cat GIF by BBC EarthGiphy
So strange, that it makes perfect sense?
"Coca-Cola can help with blood stains."- Buzzed_Woody
Good thing they don't need a toilet...
"Guinea pigs average pooping around 100 times a day."- morgandanso
"In Phoenix, Arizona, you are legally allowed to bury a dead body on your property without asking for permission/getting a permit/etc."
"The city asks that you contact them beforehand so they can send someone out to stake for gas/electric lines, but it’s not required."- hedalexa12digging sarah chalke GIFGiphy
"If provided with a mirror, dolphins will admire their own genitals."- Cymiril
The brain is a delicate creature
"There is a chemical called MPTP that specifically destroys dopaminergic neurons in the brain."
"About 3 days after someone ingests it, they get Parkinson's disease."- SheilaBoof
Gruesome with good intentions?
"In the 1960s or 70s, the Swiss Air Force dropped severed chicken heads all over the forests of Switzerland."
"The chicken heads contained the rabies vaccine, and the airdrop was to vaccinate wild foxes against rabies."- EnormousPurpleGardenfennec fox GIFGiphy
One never knows when learning this newfound information might become useful.
Especially for parents of children eager to buy a Guinea Pig...
As relationships get serious, it's understandable that one will want to know as much as possible about their significant others.
That is, until we make a discovery about them which might forever change how we view our relationship.
Sometimes, it might be a discovery that might just take some getting used to, even if we'd have been better off not knowing.
Other times, however, this newfound information makes remaining in this relationship untenable.
Redditor Mr_MightyMouse was curious to hear what people wished they'd never learned about their past and present relationships, leading them to ask:
"What is the one thing you found out about your S/O you wish you never did?"
He was anything but faithful
"He cheated on me."
"When I had cancer."- stolliolli
Her one true love... wasn't me
"She drunkenly admitted to her friends that her ex-boyfriend was the one and she’ll never get over him."
"Still not sure how to handle that information."- FreeFoot_
Complicit without knowing it.
"She was an opiate addict."
"I was funding her addiction unknowingly."
"I was helping her destroy herself and I was too stupid to realize that."- Local64bithero
Moving way too fast
"Not that it was that traumatic as we were only dating a few weeks, but she started real deal crying when I wouldn't put her on my life insurance."- Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud
Someone needs to sharpen their aim...
"I hang up a towel to dry my hands in the bathroom."
"Sometimes I would find it on the floor and think hmmm the towel fell off the rack."
"TEN YEARS GO BY."
"One day my husband casually says 'you are always so quick to do laundry, like if I accidentally pee on the floor and clean it up with the towel it is gone so quick'."
"I'm like what.... what?"
"So yea, I've been drying my hands with pee towels for 10 years."
"FML."- kperkins1982·max greenfield towel GIFGiphy
A club no one wants to belong to
"I was dating my ex for two years and she drunkenly confessed that she had cheated on every bf she had ever had."
"We broke up not long after."
"Then found out she was also cheating on me with multiple people from the office."
"I’m now happily married!"
"She also hid her then current bf from me when we first hooked up, he was asleep in another bedroom and we was in a different bed."
"She told him I missed the train home and needed a place to get my head down."- JancingSalmon
A stronger connection than they knew.
"He once dated a girl that he was getting fairly serious about until he showed up to a family event and she was there."- rowenaravenclaw0
What was he up to?
"He had a notebook of every detail of my life, including menstrual cycle, and also kept all the details of my friends and family members."
"Even ones I had never mentioned."
"And we were only together for two months."- totalfranmove
The news no one wants to hear
"That she had Cancer, which ultimately took her."
"That is literally the only thing I found out about my late wife that I ever regretted."- d20gamerguy
A happy anniversary indeed.
"This is NSFW."
"She gave me her phone to look for an address and make a restaurant reservation for our 7 year anniversary."
"I don't know why she gave me her phone, but I guess it was just destiny."
"Someone sent her a video on Whatsapp, and the next message says 'tomorrow again?'"
"From the same person."
"Now I am not one of those people who checks my partner's phone, I don't like that."
"But I was curious and clicked on it. It was a full 2 minute video of her hooking up with someone"
"Needless to say there was no anniversary dinner."- kmiaw
Even though everyone here says they wish they'd never learned these things, one has to imagine some of these people are, deep down, grateful.
As they may have been saved from trouble or pain down the line.
Even if it doesn't make these discoveries any easier.
It's ok to be naughty.
But sometimes... you wanna watch yourself.
Naughty can lead to trouble.
And we're talking adult naughty.
Maybe it's time we discussed it all.
Rule #1... Better safe than sorry.
Redditor Black_Hole_Baken-00wanted hear from all the people willing to share sexy secrets that might leave plenty of people blushing. They asked:
"What’s your most shameful NSFW moment?"
Elevators. Stairwells. Planes. You name it. I've shamed it. No Deets...
don't worry I wasn't naked...
"I was watching adult videos in the middle of the night. After I did my deed I felt a slight pain in my balls, like someone flicked their finger on them. The pain increased to the point that I had to walk it out. After some minutes I began screaming from the pain when my parents came to my room (don't worry I wasn't naked) seeing me in pain on the floor."
"At that moment I thought I did something wrong but was to ashamed to tell them.My dad rushed me to the emergency room where I was rushed in and my pants were removed. Laying there they gave me a nose spray which halted some of the pain. The doctor then started fondling my family jewels while the nurse stood next to me reminding me to breath because the nose spray stopped the automatic breathing if that makes sense."
"All the time my dad is standing there looking and the only thing I could thing at that moment was oh no do they think my unit is small. After that the doctors brought me to another room while my dad was in another room. While going trough the halls I told the doctor I probably know the cause and explained that I was pleasuring myself"
"I don't remember the doctors response but I felt truly ashamed like I was the only person doing such a thing. Later the doctor told me I had testicular Torsion which is caused by the balls not being attached to the sack so I'm living in fear of it happening again to this day."
"WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??"
"In the 90's/early 2000's we bought a pub and moved into it. It had a big screen downstairs and we lived above, but Sky Sports was so expensive for the business account we basically hooked the giant screen to our box upstairs so whenever the sport was on it would show on the screen downstairs."
"So we couldn't watch TV upstairs except what was being shown on the big screen when this was happening. Anyway one Sunday evening around 10pm after the sport (bearing in mind the sport finished at 6pm) I was freely browsing through channels because the giant screen has been wound up into the ceiling and my 14 year old self came across some softcore adult videos"
"Curious, I started watching it. Suddenly there was a big buzz from the phone that connected to downstairs, I answer it. It's my mum with laughing in the background. "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING??" I was like "errr.. I was just flicking through channels.." "Well you've stayed on that one for a while haven't you?"
"I forgot about the small TV in the bar area. It was still on and was showing the entire pub what my horny self was watching. I was mortified. Luckily my mum never brought it up again and neither did any of the customers thankfully."
I Gotta Go
"When i was 12 my younger sister walked in on me playing fondle the dongle. I told her I couldn't pee and was trying to force/pump it out. She told my mom out of worry. Said I needed a doctor to help me pee. When Mom confronted me about what my sister was saying i then had to explain it to her."
"My mom walked in on me. The look on her face went from incomprehension to shock to utter disgust over the span of a second or two. She stayed calm and explained how it wasn't appropriate, but I just remember how unsmiling and tense she was, totally unlike I'd ever seen her. Decades ago but still cringe so much recalling it."
Oh. My. God. Y'all are animals. And I'm LIIIIVVVING for it!
“underwear”surprise disrobing GIFGiphy
"My dad caught me editing the game files of The Sims to replace the female underwear textures with 'underwear' that just makes them look nude. Looked up reference material and edited them in photoshop. That a lot of effort to put into something so depraved."
"When i was about 10, my parents were out so I looked up some adult videos on the family computer (mistake number 1), then I kept hearing noises and thought someone was in the house so i ran to my room and called my dad, leaving to computer on (mistake number 2)."
"My dad rushed home and went around the house looking for an intruder, no one was there, it was just my next door neighbors (we have a semi-detached house) then obviously saw what i was looking at on the computer and asked me about it… i told him the intruder must of broken in and searched it up :( "
"In middle school, my friend got her boobs and she wanted me to touch them. We probably spent 30 minutes everyday before school until the librarian caught us and we were suspended."
I wonder if she knew...
"My HS gf and I were having sex in the sideways laying down cuddling position. Mom walked in to show me a new Christmas decoration. To her it looked like we were just cuddling but she sat on the bed inches away from me and proceeded to talk about the decoration for like 10 minutes. I wonder if she knew. They never cared much about that stuff so I think she was just oblivious."
"I was violently ill. In my fiancé’s house where we were living. While he was at work, his dad was working from home. I needed my mom to take me to the hospital. I screamed for my father in laws help, who entered the bathroom to my nude body, puking at t in his bathtub. He called my mom for me, and we never spoke about it."
Well I need a cold shower and more vodka.
Don't have sex with people attached to someone already.
There is no good excuse.
There is no reason that makes it worth it.
Most of the time the "reasons" are lies.
RedditorVirtual_Welder_4525wanted to hear from those willing to spill a little tea about some bedmates. They asked:
"People who knowingly have slept with someone who was in a relationship, why did you do it?"
Why do we do it? I still don't know what I was thinking.
Hot. Not.Feeling Dumb Jim Carrey GIFGiphy
"I was young and it made me feel hot/desired . It was dumb."
"She told me that she was in an open relationship but turned out that she was lying."
"Yeah, I had the same thing happen. Girl told me she was in an open relationship, I slept with her, then she told her boyfriend about it. So the next day I get a call from her boyfriend, threatening to kick my @ss."
"Story does have a happy ending though. I had text history of our conversation leading up to the hookup, as well as her texting me about how good it was after I had left. I sent him screenshots, showing proof of her saying she was in an open relationship. He dumped her and apologized for believing her."
Come to your senses...
"I was freshly 18 working a restaurant gig and the attractive shift manger took an interest. Hooked up at work a few times on overnight shifts. One day his gf came in to eat and I realized they weren’t as on and off as he said. Wish I could stay I stopped there, but it happened once or twice more before both of us came to our senses. I think he was 27? Ended up getting my number and sending me inappropriate texts for the next three months after I quit that job. I still feel slimy."
"I was 23 when it started and it went on for years and I felt like literal scum afterward every single time, but the sex was good, and I hated myself, so I figured it was the best I could do and I deserved to feel like crap. I justified it because I wasn't the only one he was cheating on his wife with, he had two or three other girls in rotation. I was just dumb and selfish and self sabotaging."
GrossBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"'You were gone! He was here!'", Shadynasty."
Humans will just do it anywhere. Just like pigs.
"I was young and a virgin. She was gorgeous and sweet. She spun me a story about how bad her relationship was and I was hooked."
"I was 20/21 and had finally gotten out of an abusive household and was barely financially stable and not at all mentally stable. He was A LOT older than I was (his son was older than I was by a couple of years) but he did generally treat me pretty well."
"It went on for 4+ years. We were far from an ideal couple, even had he not been married, but overall it was a positive thing in my life at a time when I really needed it, and it became a safety net. It ended years ago and I feel deeply ashamed of it and my actions."
"But I've grown enough to know that I'm not that same person anymore and I'd never repeat it. I did learn that a poly relationship definitely suits me better than a monogamous relationship - but it can and should be done ethically and morally."
Her wife found out...
"I was in love but also young and selfish and could easily ignore that she was married/she was AGGRESSIVE in pursuing me for years (flying across states to see me, tracking me down at restaurants I would frequent, telling me she loved me and her marriage was in shambles, texting me from new numbers every time I told her to leave me alone). We started the stereotypical long-distance emotional affair that went into sexting/sexy pics. Her wife found out."
"I was young and drunk, with low self esteem and a crippling need for validation. She came onto me and I found it hard to say no. I justified it to myself as I knew their relationship was on the rocks anyway. I figured, well it's basically over. They just aren't formally broken up. They did split up a few months later. I'm not excusing it, I knew it was wrong."
"Didn't know any better. Horny stupid teens do stupid horny things. Wouldn't happen nowadays."
Oh the things we do for a hot roll in the hay. Be better people.