Having a dope supportive partner is seriously a game changer, fam.
I'm not suggesting that a person can't achieve success without a relationship. Not at all. What I'm saying, is if you're going to choose to do a team project, it helps when your teammate doesn't suck.
But a moment of honesty - a lot of us have no idea what an amazing partner looks like. If relationships of obligation or convenience, are all you've ever seen, then how could you?
Amazing doesn't look like that at all.
Reddit user Sylva_Glow asked:
"People with an amazing partner, what makes them so amazing?"
Here's what people had to say.
"She is self aware."
"Says things like, 'I may have been being selfish', 'You have a good point', and 'I’m sorry'. I do the same and try to admit my faults, and stop on a dime in an argument and say 'I’m sorry, I’m being unreasonable, let’s back up'. "
"In essence we both are pretty good at admitting and accepting each other’s and our own frailties. It’s rare to be with a partner like that."
"Also, she has a hilarious laugh and sense of humor, and though she doesn’t feel so, she’s hilarious."
"This is huge, same with my wife an I. We can argue about a subject and politely disagree, but we both take turns listening to each other's opinions and 9/10 we both start cracking jokes."
"This is so vital. I'm so glad you found someone who does this with you."
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"When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other."
"It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries."
"How do you achieve this together-crankiness? Sounds way better than being cranky at each other."
"I’m not the person you asked, and it certainly doesn’t work automatically with everyone, but in a relationship, every issue can be an 'us' issue. Even if it’s leaving the toilet seat up."
"If you have a complaint about your partner, think of it more as a discomfort you’re feeling that they can help you with, and approach it as a problem you can both solve together."
"Have an open and honest discussion about the disconnect and what you bring to the table that is causing the tension as well as what you could bring to help. Therapists often actually suggest visualizing it as sitting side by side at a table, looking at the problem on the table together."
"In hindsight I kinda talked about conflict resolution instead of 'together-crankiness' but it’s kind of the same thing."
"We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. If you’re cranky about something, let your partner in. Give them a seat on your side of the table and tell them that you’re cranky, why, and whether or not they can help and how."
"The best part about a loving relationship is feeling like you’re teamed up with someone against the world."
"Simple: because no matter what, I never doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything."
"I never worry about him leaving/cheating on me. I can be my complete, authentic self around him. Even when we fight, I know it's just a temporary tiff that we'll talk about later when we've cooled down."
"But, most of all, I know that whatever he's doing or wherever he is, he'll always stop it to drive however far to come help me if I'm in a bad situation/mood."
"Not many people have a partner like that, so I'm sincerely grateful that I lucked out in finding mine 😇❤"
"This is really cute, happy for you :)"
"Yay! This is me and my partner too! I love to hear when people have found 'their person' too. Everyone should feel as cozy and loved by their partner as we do!"
"My husband is genuinely interested in everything I do, no matter how mundane it is."
"When I dragged him to 3 different stores to find a specific mascara, he asks about what makes it so great & then will geek out & read up about cosmetic formulations."
"When I told him a certain lip patch helped heal my cracked nipples from breastfeeding, he started reading up over other potential breastfeeding injuries & how people handle them."
"He doesn’t do it to lord his 'expertise' over me or anything, he’s genuinely excited to just ask me about everything."
"Oh & he started giving me daily massages when I was pregnant & I still get them now. Our daughter is 3."
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"The way he still looks at me."
"When I get out of the shower and there's lunch waiting for me."
"How some nights he wakes up in the middle of the night and pulls me closer to him because I've moved too far away or even when he pulls me closer in all situations."
"How he lays in bed with me every morning even though he'd rather go sit on the couch and wake up."
"The sacrifices he makes for me everyday."
"That he tries his best to make sure I am smiling. He's always there when I need him no matter the time or place. There are so many things that he does every day to let me know he loves me."
"Ah. He is just..a perfect match for me. We have our rough times and we get frustrated with each other, but he always treats me with kindness, respect, and love no matter what mood he is in."
"We always make sure to communicate our problems and at the end of most days we go to bed with a smile on our faces."
Charming Little Things
"Omg, I have a list of notes as to reasons why I love my boyfriend all saved up in my phone. Someday I'm going to gift them to him somehow."
"While the big things matter very much, like how our whole relationship he has helped and stuck by me thru a disability, it's also all the little things that matter every day."
"He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings."
"In the mornings, he will block my hand with his so the dog can't lick my hand and wake me up."
"He sees when my phone charge is low and will bring me a charger even when I didn't realize it."
"Whenever he has the cheese out, he sets aside a slice for me."
"When he gets out of bed, he turns his pillow towards me knowing I'm going to steal it."
"If I pour myself more milk then I can finish, he drinks the rest so I don't feel bad about wasting it."
"I couldn't go out in the snow once, so he went out and drew hearts in the snow that I could see from the window."
"He'll sing songs to the pets, dance around the kitchen, squeak when he laughs, use the oven mitt like a dinosaur, and say "aww" while playing Animal Crossing."
"He sends me memes, and twirls the same piece of hair in the front of his head when he's distracted."
"He's amazing! I'm charmed by him every single day!"
Name That Tune
"I randomly whistle a 4-6 note tune while doing tasks."
"And lately she's been guessing them with about 60-70% success rate. It's cute when she tries hard and she lights up with this glow when she gets it right."
"No one gets me but her."
"Married in our teens and about to celebrate our 14 yr anniversary."
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"Accepting me for every. single. quirk."
"I was pretty pessimistic about relationships when we went on our first date so I am lucky that I have never faked one situation or personality or even had to present 'my best self.' "
"Small example - I had an ex that I thought was perfect for me. I'm a f*cking weirdo so once I meowed at him. He told me not to do that."
"I meow at my now fiancé and he meows right back."
"F*ck your ex. I can tell what my wife wants from the type and tone of her meows. My wife is very much human and yes, we are both weird."
"And yes, I do meow right back to her as well."
"Meowed at my partner today and he booped me. That’s when you know it’s real"
Her Brilliant Mind
"When I met her 30 years ago there was fierce physical attraction between both of us, but what won me over was her brilliant mind. She is the smartest person I have ever met."
"Quick witted, a great conversationalist, and turned out to be the best mother to our daughter that I could have ever asked for. She is very loving and caring and puts family before almost everything."
"Two years ago I lost my father to the delta variant of Covid-19. It was the worst experience of my life. I don't know what I would have done with her strength and support. I didn't think I would make it through the funeral, but having someone you trust completely walking with you step by step makes a huge difference."
"I hope you all have a partner as good as mine to share your lives with."
Just Do It
"My wife is just a go getter."
"She wanted to learn carpentry, so she did."
"Wanted a better job and she got it."
"When she wants to achieve something she just does."
"Mine rolled her eyes at me for wanting a macramé owl. I don't know why I wanted one, but I always did."
"Some people think they're tacky, and maybe they are."
"She's from a country that didn't have them. She never understood why I wanted one."
"Last year, in secret, she watched a bunch of YouTube videos, taught herself how to make a macramé owl and then made me one for our house and we put it up by the front door."
Well that was all painfully adorable.
What about you, dear readers? Do you have incredible amazing partners who show you how dope partnership can be?
Tell us about them!
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The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
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"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
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"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
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Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
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"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
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"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
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"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
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"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
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"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
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"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
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"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.