The Best Responses To 'What Are Your Intentions With My Daughter?'

Parents -- especially dads -- are always nervous when their daughter begins to date. Caught up in the intensity and giddiness of romance, it’s not always obvious to the ones who are dating that they are not compatible... or that they were with someone who is trouble.

That’s where the parents come in.

The classic question is some variation is “what are your intentions with my daughter” and the answers are very telling.

Luckily, Redditors know exactly what to say to this question.

It might not do wonders for people’s reps with their partners’ dads, but at least it will provide some much-needed hilarity.

It all started when Redditor TheSecondButter asked:

“What’s the best response to “what are your intentions with my daughter?”

Necessity, Not Romance

"If things go well I intend to ask for your daughters hand."

"Because I'm tired of using mine."

– Random_Guy_47

"I'm assembling some Ikea at home and just really need a second set of hands."

– Copytechguy

"Extra points for bringing the manual to show you need two sets of hands."

– OfUnknownOrigin

It's Not About Her

"I'm only dating her to gain access to you."

– Unsolicited_Spiders

"Bonus points if you get them a case of beers"

– beanstastebad

"I actually had a friend that used to play Warhammer with his girlfriend's dad...."

"When they broke up he continued to come round every week to play Warhammer with her dad"

– sfxpaladin

"Stacy's mom has got it going on."

– JBlooey

Life Of Crime

""I need a getaway driver, sir.""

– inksmudgedhands

"I’m trying to assemble a team of crime fighters and I believe she has a certain set of skill that make people like her a nightmare to people like you."

– RedDingo777

""Between you and me, Sir... we're gonna steal the Declaration of Independence.""

– TheBlueSerene

Hidden Meaning

"I'll have her in bed by 11pm, sir."

– ForcyBo

"... and home by 1."

– Parsel_Tongue

""who's bed?""

"That's the fun part."

– revs201


"To see if I can make her as happy as she makes me"

– thatguywiththeposts

""Sir, with any luck at all. Avoid making a total as**of myself and hopefully have a nice time"

– ShortAndSad4381

Struck Speechless

"Intentions? None, I just wanted to hang out. Why do you ask?"

"I just said something very similar once and her father had no idea what to say."

"Those questions are stupid."

– RacistBlackDigger

""That's my question too! She dragged me here!""

– HelveticanCheese

The Benefits

"I always hear that question and think of it like "why do you want to work here.""

– LillyLing10

"The benefits."

"Work: health insurance, sick pay"

"Daughter: friends with benefits"

– NicNoletree

Now There Are Some Twists!

"To get what she ordered, sir; this is a Wendy's."

– M3mph

"Incorrect. Best response is "Daughter? I'm here to pick up your son.""

– Busy_Confection_7260

Turn It Around

""What are your daughter's intentions with me?""

– AbreakaTech001

""Well sir, what were your intentions with her mother?""

"I have...actually used this went over well, as you can tell, by the fact im actually alive."

– lowexpectationsguy

I'm Not Violent, I Swear!

"So, maybe not on topic but; I started dating this girl in college. One night we were at the club dancing, it got crazy and I accidentally hit her in the eye with my elbow. Big shiner. That week I met her dad and had to explain I hit her in the eye, accidentally… wow, was that uncomfortable"

– JonSmith12345

Ouch! That story probably hurts more than the eye!

People Who Were Forced To Choose Between Their Pet And Their Partner Explain What Happened
Photo by Andrew S on Unsplash

Our pets are part of the family.

Any person who doesn't get that is not someone I can know.

They are there through it all.

They help with the good, the bad and the ugly.

So when it comes to choosing between a pet and a person... the answer can make things awkward.

Keep reading...Show less
Student dangling a backpack
Scott Webb/Unsplash

As adults, whenever you see teenagers being boisterous or rough-housing others, we tend to roll our eyes and move, chalking it up to youth.

I don't know about you, but when I was younger, in high school, I felt invincible and acted accordingly with my classmates without a care in the world.

But there is such a thing as going too far, and even teens who know better, generally know when they've overstepped a boundary.

Curious to hear of those instances, Redditor Silent-Zebra asked strangers online to reflect back on their youth.

Keep reading...Show less
Speeding ambulance
Jonnica Hill/Unsplash

Aside from picking up a family member who is finally going home or going to experience the birth of a child, most trips to the hospital aren't usually ones to look forward to.

When you're a patient being admitted, chances are, an accident or a bad decision has led you there.

With medical professionals witnessing a garden variety of cases, there must be some cases that surely stuck out in their minds.

Keep reading...Show less

The dating scene can be really tough, and obviously one of the most difficult elements is going to be the breaking up period.

For this reason, some Redditors shared the advice they would give to someone who had only just begun to date one of their ex partners.

Keep reading...Show less