JOIN
OUR EMAIL LIST!

Falling asleep and insomnia have been hot topics in the media for more than a decade. Is the reason you can't sleep because of your bad sleep habits—inconsistent bedtime, hitting snooze every morning, drinking alcohol before bed, etc.—or is it that evil blue light we've all been warned emanates from our beloved electronic devices?


Different tricks work for different people, so if you're struggling to get a few good hours of shuteyw, take a look at some of these ways that fellow insomniacs relax and drift off to see if any of them work for you.

Reddit user u/20shepherd01 asked:

"Insomniacs of Reddit, what helps you sleep?"

10.

Like a lot of folks mentioned, melatonin and white noise (though I prefer "brown" noise better tonally, it's more like a fan whirring that tv static) helps for me.

I have adhd so winding down is important and staying off my phone. So lately I have been working on building better sleep hygiene and using an app called "Sleep Town" that has a scheduled "sleep" time that basically keeps me off my phone and focusing on going to bed.

It will navigate you away from any app that you try to open while its switched on to sleep mode and doesnt interfere with Spotify, which is nice since I use that for white noise.
app is on android, idk about iPhone

-nodnoa

9.

Easiest question ever. I read a chapter of my AP Biology textbook. I guarantee you that book will knock you out any day of the week.

-OP-RandomBystander

Same strategy, Statistical Methods for Engineers.

-lefroyd

8.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Start by trying to relax your toes until you can barely feel them, then the soles of your feet, calves, etc.. trick I learned from a military friend. Usually out by the time I get to my waist.

-dyljeffr

7.

My younger brother is an insomniac from child hood trauma while sleeping. Nothing my parents did but my neighbours. They had this motor bike they'd rev outside his window when he was a baby and it terrified him.

He couldn't sleep unless he was with my dad. And obviously this became a problem when he got older. He was around 7 and my dad would have to sit with him every night till he fell asleep. We tried therapy, teddies, whale noises. All of it. I recommended headphones rather than playing the noises aloud in the room as it was outside noises that upset him.
So he started going to bed listening to whale noises in headphones and it worked. Now he sleeps with AirPods / any wireless headphones he's got charged, playing night time playlists on Spotify and he can't sleep without them. He's better now but it's made him a complete daddies boy.

-Crimson_poppies

6.

I don't ascribe to 'tingles' but a lot of ASMR videos deal with white noise like tapping or whispering, gentle rain sounds and the like that help me dose off at night. I don't know if there is a correlation but a lot of "t*tty" ASMRists actually have very pleasant voices as well, usually I just pull their videos, put my phone face down or minimize the video on my computer, then pick up a book and a cup of sleepy tea and just let it put me to sleep. Anything that's massage or just 'conversationalist' will knock me out.

-Wazer-Renzaw

5.

Sleep with Me podcast works every time!

-DisIsDisWhoDis

It's almost magical. When i'm having a restless night i just pop this podcast on and i'm asleep in ten minutes tops.

-pakkoisa

4.

Overworking myself during the day seems to do the trick, although I cannot guarantee the healthiness of this approach

-User Account Deleted

Same double shift life helps me get 8 hour of sleep.

-CreativeTurnip

3.

I have major insomnia because of my schizophrenia. My mind just can't turn off at night. I have not had a sleep schedule since I went crazy 10 years ago. For Christmas this year I got a huge weighted blanket and holy shit it works!!! I can actually lay down at a decent hour go to sleep in 15 minutes. I can actively feel my mind fighting against the weight of the blanket but it just starts sputtering out and then there is actual silence and I go to sleep. Because of my disease I also wake up about 8 times a night and sometimes I can't go back to sleep but the weighted blanket makes me stay asleep. I can't believe it. I haven't slept this well this consistently in almost a decade. I absolutely love it. I can't reccomend it enough.

-Cannabillistichokie

2.

Music, but don't fall asleep to it just let it relax you, then stop the music and sleep. Also for me, never think 'this position is comfortable' because for me when I do that it immediately stops being comfortable

-MattLee10

1.

Do you have Alexa? Alexa, Make it Rain!

White noise bliss on a loop.

-shortdamlewis

We've all heard how parenting is a full-time job. So it's not surprising to learn that parents have discovered plenty of quirks and methods to make things just a little bit more efficient during that eternal slog.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

It's a plague many of us would rather not admit occurs on a daily basis.

Keep reading... Show less
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Look, we all want that coveted position at a new company. So how do we stay ahead of the competition and make a strong impression on job interviewers?

Keep reading... Show less