When I was a child I thought Jesus was a zombie. Like a literal brain-eating zombie. I only believed it for about a week, but it stands as one of the top 3 weird things I believed as a wee-one.
I can see all of your faces in my head right now trying to process how I got from "dude on a cross" to "dude off the cross shuffling down the street looking for brains."
You: "She thought Jesus was a zombie?"
ryan reynolds GIFGiphy
My parents are both Christian ministers now, but as a child they weren't particularly religious and I spent most of my time with my grandfather, who was a Cuban immigrant and practiced Santeria. Jesus was just not a figure in my younger years.
But when the family moved to Florida from NYC my mother got very heavily into church, which meant my life went from no Jesus or any Christian stories to ALL JESUS ALL THE TIME. Seriously. Six days a week in church. Do not recommend. Overkill.
While my mother had a basis for understanding these parables and tales, I did not. I also didn't have the attention span to read the whole Bible for myself so I had to piece the story together based on the bits that my oft-wandering mind tuned in for during the many, many, way too many sermons I sat through.
Jesus was cool. Jesus got dead, but plot twist Jesus wasn't really dead. Something about drinking blood and eating bodies.
Sounds pretty zombie-ish, right?
Turns out a lot of people erroneously believed stuff for reasons that probably make no sense as an adult. But kid brains... those are magical.
Check it out.
Cheerios
GiphyThe Honey Nut Cheerios bee. No word of a lie, I thought he was real. I don't know why. Nobody told me he was real, it was just something I accepted.
When my older step-sister told me that Santa and the Tooth Fairy weren't real, I burst into tears and said, "The Cheerios bee, too?"
Happy Halloween
The candy fairy came the night of Halloween and took a candy tax. My parents would eat some and toss a lot.
We called it the switch witch and she brought a present to replace the candy.
Our parents called it the Great Pumpkin (like from Charlie Brown) that took it and gave us money in return. Then one day we asked my dad if the Great Pumpkin was coming on Halloween again and he was confused and told us it wasn't real and then we cried. When my mom got mad at him he remembered and said that he forgot that's what they called it.
- Info7245
Small Cars
I thought that small cars grew up into vans and buses were just like the elders of cars.
Crackers
I believed that goldfish crackers were individually hand crafted, I thought it was like a line of workers sculpting dough into little fish. I was disappointed when logic kicked in :(
Thanks, Volcano!
Ok so when I was a kid I was scared of dinosaurs. My dad told me they were extinct. So for a good while I believed any fictional thing that scared me (ghosts, vampires, the wicked witch) USED to exist but was taken out by a volcano.
Back To Baby
I thought that when you died of a disease, you would return to being a baby again, but if you were shot, then you would be completely dead and would never get to be a baby again.
Nipples
GiphyI assumed that grown women's nipples looked more like baby bottle tops since that's what they were supposed to be like. And that bras just compressed them back into the boob.
I Believe I Can Fly
I thought I could fly. I had a weird epiphany at 12 or 13 that I couldn't and maybe I just imagined me taking off from the parking lot and flying over the apartments I lived in when I was younger. Like I suddenly realized I couldn't fly, even though I knew I had before. The damndest memory. I still remember it to this day, floating away and flying over my apartments and coming back to land in the same parking lot. I still remember at 12 or 13 when I realized I couldn't fly and feeling like I had lost something.
Groups Of Ants
I believed that you didn't move your own body while you slept. I honestly thought little groups of ants would move your limbs around and that's why you woke up in a different position than you fell asleep. I believed that for years. Not a clue how that idea got into my head though.
- ashcon96
Adult Body
I always thought that the transition from child to adult happened randomly over night. Like you went to sleep as a kid then woke up as an adult. I feared this day because I imagined all of my clothes suddenly being way too small for me and I'd have to go to the store with a towel wrapped around me searching for clothes to buy that would fit my new adult body.
Anus Scrunchie
For some odd reason, my mother and her 2 sisters told me that in Native American tribes, when someone would pass away, other members of that tribe would cut out the ring around the dead person's anus and use it as hair scrunchie. They made it sound like they were the same stretchiness as an elastic band or something. So ridiculous!
Magical Lands
I'd believed that for each TV show/ movie/ book series etc., there was a different "land" for each of them. If you wanted to reach any of the lands, you'd need to do some random things, and you would be able to cross over into them.
Ace Ventura
GiphyI used to believe that rhinos were the male and hippos were the females. They were the same animal, but just called different names.
It wasn't until Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls came out (I would be 8 at this time). The scene where he's climbing out of the fake rhino, the lady was saying "Oh look! That mommy rhino is giving birth!" I busted up laughing and told my parents that it's so funny because that lady think the rhino is a girl, Rhinos can't be girls.
It took a few minutes of explanations and confused faces before I accepted reality and I have been thinking this my entire life until I was 8.
Fast Food Love Triangle
I believed that Burger King and Dairy Queen were married. No one told me this, I just believed it.
Also that McDonald's was named Old McDonald, like from "old McDonald had a farm." Whenever we pulled into the drive-thru I would yell, "We're at Old McDonalds!" When I was old enough to read the sign, I was very disappointed.
Stop Screaming
My parents told us that when we screamed or were really loud, it was gonna rain. We played outside a lot so we didn't want that and it helped to keep us a little more quiet. Believed that was true for waaaay too long haha.
- Roxje92
Grandma Really Committed To The Bit
The lady under the bed.
My grandmother would tell me there was a lady who would get under our bed (3 brothers on one bed). She would say that she's there to grab our arms or legs if they were to go over the sides of the bed.
It would've been all good but one night she woke us up screaming "stay away from my grandchildren." She said she caught the lady trying to grab my arm. Hell of a thing for a 6 year old to see. Grandmother yelling at the bottom of the bed in the middle of the night.
I don't believe in the lady under the bed anymore but I've never left my arms or legs dangling off the side of the bed since then.
Queenie And The Epiphany
When I was little we had a female cat that was not spayed, and she would have kittens quite regularly. Our spayed kitty was also female. All the neighbors had dogs and they were all male, so I thought that all cats were female and all dogs were male. I have no clue when I thought the female kittens would become dogs? I figured it out when our neighbors got a new puppy and they named "her" Queenie. Epiphany! (I was about 9 years old then.)
- azjoan
Knew Too Much
I watched some show about alien abductions when I was way too young and was convinced the aliens were gonna abduct me because I knew too much. Like I was somehow the only person in the world who had seen this serialized episode of a TV show.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.