I grew up in a household where it was customary to remove your shoes upon entering. To me, it made sense.
I assumed every family preferred not to have gum, spit, mud – and who knows what else – tracked into their homes from the outside.
So, as a high school kid, whenever I forgot to inform friends of the house-entrance protocol, and they walked onto the carpet with their shoes on, my mom would freak out. Hey, if they're not used to doing that in their own homes, I don't blame them for their ignorance.
But there are just some guests whose behavior indicated they did know better.
Curious to hear bizarre anecdotes from strangers online, Redditor alksjs asked:
"What's the weirdest thing a guest has done at your house?"
When alcohol and substances were brought into these homes, disaster struck.
Making A Splash
"Brought alcohol after we told them we don't drink/are a dry house.. ok, minor enough, didn't make a big deal about it... but when they spilled all their red wine on our couch and hid it under a blanket, only for the wife to tell us via text after they left.... that really sucked."
A Hot Mess
"Got a prostitute over. This was years ago when I lived in a share house. My room mate and a friend of his got drunk. My room mate eventually ended up going to bed and he told his friend to sleep on the couch rather than driving home."
"The next morning we woke up and discovered that he'd called up a prostitute. They had sex in the bathroom and left a godawful mess."
"It was a long time before he got invited over again."
– saugoof
Bathroom Paint Job
"My friend's new boyfriend - I'd never met him before - came over with her for dinner. There were 8 of us. He drank a lot. He went to the bathroom before dessert. About 5 minutes after he came back, he spoke to her and she said they needed to go as he wasn't feeling well. They left."
"When the next person went to the bathroom, they came back recoiling in horror. The new boyfriend had puked up his entire dinner - and a vast amount of red wine - all over the bathroom. Everywhere. Walls, floors, all over my full basket of spare toilet rolls."
I cleaned it up. When I next saw my friend, I mentioned it. We had a totally ordinary conversation about it. Later that day, she deleted me on FB and I never saw her again."
"Mystifying."
Makeshift Urinal
"I had a birthday party for my friend at my apartment at the time. Another friend's husband ended up getting drunk and peeing in my hallway. I was like, 'wtf?' 'Well, the bathroom was full and I couldn't make it to a bush in time.'"
"So, the next time he came over, I gifted him a small potted plant with a handmade 'mens room' sign. Told him that now he has his own porta potty."
Snot-Rag Fashion
"This one chick I used to be kinda friends with in middle school came over to my house. We were just sitting on my living room couch watching TV, when she just suddenly out of nowhere lifted the bottom of her shirt up and started blowing her nose into it. She did this like three or four times. I was like, c'mon now, we have tissues in the house and it didn't even occur to you to even ask for one? We're not anti-tissue extremists or anything. The image of that giant snot splotch all over the front of her shirt is seared into my retinas until the end of my days."
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Science is science. Fact is fact. Truth is truth and simple is simple. These are things we must now attest to in 2021. Can we please all get onboard with wha...Please Don't Make Yourself At Home
Some guests act like they own the place. They need to be shown the door, by force, if necessary.
Sleep Requirement
"Rearranged all the furniture in the guest bedroom so that she could sleep facing north."
The Brown Stains
"My weird neighbour friend once came over for dinner when we were at least 11. I don't know why or how but when I prepared to go to bed that night I discovered poop on the wall at the top-bunk mattress (slept bottom). We also found it smeared on the wall of behind our TV."
"When we asked his mother she just handled it as if it was a totally normal thing to do."
– MoinGuy2
Laundry Time
"My roommate in college had been dating a guy a few years older for several months. She asked if I minded if he spent the weekend and that they'd only be home in the evenings since they had planned to be out and about experiencing the city. I said sure. Guy shows up and he's conversational and nice enough, except instead of an overnight bag, he brings at least 10 huge filled to the brim laundry bags of dirty clothes. He immediately sets up shop in our laundry room and goes to town. Literally does laundry all day and night.
My roommate is visibly upset at this point because dude doesn't want to go hang out as planned. He just wants to watch movies and do laundry. She apologizes and says they'll be out all the next day. No big deal. She wakes me up the next morning and is hysterical. The guy is gone and has taken all of our cleaning supplies and snacks with him. She never heard from again. It was super creepy and bizarre. She prob didn't even know this guys real name and never found out what his end game was. Unless his end game was simply use of a full size washer and dryer."
Unsolicited Makeover
"While we were at work, a couple that were houseguests for a few days rearranged our furniture and artwork."
"They wanted to surprise us when we returned home with their 'excellent taste in decorating.' They sure did!"
The Airborne Pervy Boy
"My cousin use to come over my house alot when I was a teenager. We're 7 months apart so we were pretty close growing up. When we 14/15 years old, he came over once with my aunties friends weird/ annoying son that he was forced to hang out with from time to time. It was 10am and I still had my pj's on, I tell my cousin I'll get dressed real quick and we'll go down the bike tracks soon. I go to my bedroom to change, when I'm in my underwear the weird/annoying boy walks straight in my room like he lived there and looked me up and down with a smile. I went mental, screamed at him and called him a creep. My cousin bolts upstairs after hearing me scream, grabbed the boy by the scruff of his clothes, drags him out of my bedroom and threw him down the stairs, he wasn't seriously hurt but definitely terrified at this point and runs out of the house."
Weird Wanderer
"I had a friend over once and he just wandered around the house, no sitting, no greeting my mom, no nothing, he just walked around the house aimlessly, this was a year ago but it still confuses me to this day."
Missing The Target
"It was my cousin. He came in, took a sh*t in my bedroom (at the middle of the floor), and left. Im still wondering what came through his mind that day."
No Complaints
"Last summer, my parents went on vacation so I was left alone to care for the house and our cat. One of my friends would come over a lot because I always made good food and she wanted to try it. One time when she came over, we ended up having coffee late at night, so she decided to clean my kitchen and bathroom at 12AM. Cleaned the sink, toilet, stove... I didn't ask her to. It was weird. But I didn't mind it."
Pure Insanity
"Pissed in the fridge all over turkey left overs then b!tched the toilet wouldn't flush. His gf at the time then proceeded to beat the sh*t out of him for 'doing it again' with her prosthetic leg."
"Plot twist...I was the guest in their home."
– Syst0us
This Is Your Brain On Drugs
"My homeless, heroin addict, ex brother in law asked if he could do some laundry at my place and I agreed that would be ok as long as he understood this is my home and he's not welcome to hang around. (I have a teenage son I'd rather not expose to heroin, thank you.) One day he texted that he needed to pick up his laundry and I said no problem.""
"He never showed up, so I went to bed around midnight. Turns out after I went to bed, he let himself and his insane girlfriend in and they made themselves at home. Watching TV, taking a shower, eating snacks."
"I woke up to the sounds of a domestic taking place in my living room and a woman screaming for help."
"After dealing with all that and getting them removed from my property, I went to my bathroom where I found the entire bathroom covered in purple hair dye. It was on the floors, sink, the toilet, the mirror, the rugs. Every where!"
"Who comes into a house uninvited after midnight and dyes their hair?!"
"Don't do heroin kids."
Jam Session
"This guy turned my pots and pans into drums and started freestyle singing while all the girls were hitting chairs and harmonising. I never wanted people to leave my place so quickly before."
As I mentioned earlier, having a clean home starts with taking off your shoes after entering.
Growing up with this regimen made me appreciate cleanliness, but it also made me a certifiable germophobe.
So you can imagine how much I cringed when I read about the number of Redditors who've had guests who made their homes an open bathroom space – where excrement, vomit and urine splattered everywhere like in a Jackson Pollock painting.
The takeway? Be mindful of your alcohol intake, who you invite, and say no to drugs. Now, there's the door.
Being let go from your job is never a pleasant experience.
Particularly if it comes out of nowhere, without any possible warning that this was a possibility.
Even if it isn't any more pleasant, generally speaking, most people have at least an inkling of why they were let go.
Budgetary reasons, dissolved departments, being told you weren't meeting company standards, or bad blood with the boss.
As well as some less common, highly unusual reasons which at least might make a good story down the line.
Redditor Sweetlo123 was curious to hear from people who were let go from their jobs, and why they were met with this fate, leaving them to ask:
"What did you get fired for?"
For Standing Up For What's Right.
"We were told we get OT for night work."
"The new 'company manager' let it slip that we don't actually get OT for night work, so when I was scheduled for five nights in a row working on a transmission line cell site I mentioned that I expect everyone working from our company on site get OT."
"Once it was said that we won't get OT and that it wasn't an actual policy (was written in employee handbook), I forwarded the email chain to the entire company and leadership at Verizon."
"I was canned, but now everyone gets OT for night work."
"My life is better now anyway and got my people what the deserve."- drklunk
This Was Never Going To End Well...
"Aggressively squeezing breakfast muffins lol."
"I was a few days into working at Mcds and someone complained I gave them a muffin that was too hard-they bake them at like 3 am and sit in a warmer all day."
"This was before they had the full bakery menu, I think muffins was the only thing baked and maybe cookies."
"So my manager told me to squeeze them before I hand them out."
"Me being a dumb teenager squeezed the s*it out of these muffins and got another complaint."
"They stopped scheduling me, haha."- eatmyknuts
You Have To Do The Work To Get Paid...
"I just stopped working and began only attending meetings."
"Lasted almost 9 months that way before they let me go."- frantictossing
martin freeman sleeping GIFGiphyWrong Time, Wrong Place
"I was fired after a month into my first job at a local pizza joint when I was 16."
"They called me during the Super Bowl and said I had to come in."
"I told them I was out of state without a car so no way I could make it."
"They said I should’ve known this was one of the busiest days of the year and I should’ve stayed in the area."
"I came in to work my next shift and they just gave me my paycheck and said they had to let me go for not being a team player."
"10 years later I was fired from a job in tech because I refused to move out of state."
"This one hurt a lot more."- seventyfive1989
Hard Not To Say They Had It Coming...
"The company's timeclock software ran off of the computers time, so when I was late I would just close the software, change the time back to before shift start and then clock in and change it back."
"The supervisor who showed me the trick fired me."
"A day or two later he saw me pulling in late, and when he went over the time info that day, it showed me clocked in on time."
"He knew why."- Grief-Inc
Nepotism Always Screws Someone Over...
"Worked at a gas station and was a sucker for the free soda."
"I would drink a few 24 oz glasses of Dr. Pepper (don’t judge) per shift and had to piss relatively frequently."
"I usually worked with the same lady every shift and every shift my drawer came up short even like $10-20 bucks."
"One day my usual co-worker was off and I worked with another lady who warned me to watch my drawer around the other and hers had been short when she was around."
"That got me to thinking."
"The next shift with the usual lady I stuck some receipt paper into the lip of the bottom of my drawer and hit the bead."
"When I came back the paper was on the floor."
"My drawer was short $20 at shift change and my boss fired me."
"I told her of my findings and asked her to review the security tape."
"She told me to f*ck right off the other lady had been there years."
"I left heart broken and rented some VHS tapes to indulge in and recover."
"One of the movies was Casino and man is that a good movie."
"Come to find out the usual lady was the boss lady’s cousin and they f*ckin told people I knew I got fired for stealing money."
"I though about calling a lawyer but also, I was in high school and was delusional I suppose."
"I got out of that town after high school and rarely return, especially considering all my family moved off."- woohhaa
Snl Smiling GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyThe Age Old Story Of Men In Power
"Caught the boss stealing."
"So he fired me."
"His word vs. mine and it didn't go my way."- freezingprocess
People Tend To Get What They Deserve
"Embezzled almost $500,000 from the doctor's office I worked at."
"Oh no, wait."
"That was my former supervisor who did that...26 years after she fired me for taking home a left over slice of pizza after a drug rep hosted a pizza party for the office staff."
"Karma can take a long time, but it always comes through."- YourFront
Late To The Game...
"Being the last hired when they instituted layoffs."- BubbhaJebus
Some Plans Can't Be Cancelled
"1970s YES 'Close to the Edge' tour."
"I had my tickets and had the request approved for time off, they changed their mind at the last minute and would not let me off."
"Pfft."
"Left anyways and was genuinely surprised when I got back on Monday and they informed me that I was fired."-AmandaBRecondwith
Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated
"My boss was talking sh*t about me to employees, and I confronted her with 'how would you expect the people below me to respect me when you show them that you don’t?'"
"She didn’t like it and literally went crying to the owners, who then fired me for 'causing problems'.”- Successful-Snow-562
For Literally Doing What They Were Supposed To
"I got fired for slacking off and underperforming at work by taking my legally required lunch."- 10leej
Hungry Lets Eat GIF by TRTGiphyThey Couldn't Have Waited One Day?
"Worked as a QA tester for an online game company."
"Found bug while on my personal account at home."
"Came in the next day and reported the bug."
"I was VERY clear I found the bug while playing at home on my personal account."
"It was a nasty bug that let you duplicate very expensive items."
"A few weeks later someone in customer service was checking the logs for people exploiting the bug."
"They found mine and the company decided to fire me on my birthday."
"That was around 15 years ago but it still upsets me every year, on my birthday."- PedanticCyborg
While most believe "ignorance is bliss", anyone handed a pink slip deserves to know why.
Even if sometimes the reason gives no closure whatsoever, and instead only results in even more questions.
Certain locations really damper on a good time.
For instance, it's not fun to do it in cramped spaces.
Looking at you, airplane bathrooms and backseat of cars.
Many cannot be bothered to maneuver in some odd location.
Beds. Beds are sexy.
Always were, always will be.
Redditor sasukelikescarrots wanted to hear about the places we should all avoid when getting it on, so they asked:
"What do you think are some overrated places to have sex?"
Elevators.
One... I'm claustrophobic.
Two... there is not enough time.
Fatal Attraction lied to us y'all.
The Worst
The Beach Summer GIF by Kel CripeGiphy"The beach is the worst."
thotsnprayers68
"I hate sand so much so I agree with you."
Millionsmoney
Let Alone Two
"Airplane bathroom. Too cramped, and smells gross. Keep your Mile High Club pendant."
REUBG58
"I was thinking this too. I am also willing to bet that 99% of people who claim to be in the Mile High Club are lying through their teeth. Seriously, there's barely any space in those lavatories for one person, let alone two, and it's a little hard to get aroused when you're worrying about turbulence and people waiting to use the toilet knocking on the door."
Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Just Why?
"Public toilets... Why would you even..."
Reznik81
"The only reason I can think of is being a kid of an overprotective parent in high school and you want to desperately get it on with your boyfriend. Public restrooms are the only option sometimes. (Experience)."
I-couldbeadog
Too Wet
"The pool and the shower."
GrilledStuffedDragon
"I hate the shower. I think it was a comedian who said, 'I’ve never been having sex and thought you know what would make this better… If one of us was freezing.'"
"I personally like the shower cause my partner likes to be in the water and I like being cold so it works out cause sex gets me pretty warm anywho."
BOOboUraisin23
"The shower is for foreplay, not sex. Pretty much every time we shower together it’s a given that it will lead to sexy time, whether we were planning on it or not/in the mood or not…. intimacy and touching, etc.,?…. we just B-line for the bedroom. But sex IN the shower?… no."
Jibber_Fight
And a Happy Meal?
happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy"McDonalds ball pit…"
ami2weird4u
"They have a cleaning machine that can clean all the balls and it's all sanitary. I think that could be a really good time"
copper_basket
Have some decorum people.
I'd go to Burger King.
Check Please
Applebees GIFGiphy"The men's room at Applebee's during Happy Hour on a Tuesday."
Thiccaca
"Oddly specific."
some1sbuddy
Bad Idea
"Car sex."
Shrikeangel
"I spent my teens and early 20s having sex in cars. About a year ago (I'm almost 40) the wife and I are out and in the mood so let's have sex in the car like we used to. Bad idea, how the f**k did we used to have sex all the time back there, now it's uncomfortable and I got a cramp in my leg."
Psyco_diver
"Yes. The handful of times I’ve tried this, it’s always been so cramped and you need to keep repositioning or someone bumps their head. I guess it could be fine if you had one of those huge American tanks, but cars here in Australia never have that much room inside."
StellarSandDweller
Oh Lord
"Churches and graveyards. I've done it in both, and it's not really that great."
filly_fanatic
"Never in my life have I thought either of those locations sounded like a fun place to have sex. I guess if you have a kink for getting caught then it's as good as any because there's this perception of it being sacrosanct, but it just seems at best uncomfortable and at worst going to get me on a registry somewhere.
"hopeishigh
The Waves
"Waterbeds. One of my GF's had one, and I *hated* it. It's impossible to get traction or the proper angle."
disturbednadir
"Good call. There’s nothing to push off of. Nowhere to plant knees either. A true s**t show."
SocialMediaSoooToxic
"I knew there was a reason why I forgot about my waterbed! Thanks for reminding me about that abomination!"
TinyCamp7743
Wow. I mean. Y'all have really gone out and experimented fully.
Congrats.