Sometimes, we wonder what goes through people's minds before they open their mouths.
Like, we get it, you tried to be nice. But it didn't quite work and now this is weird. You have made it weird.
So what exactly constitutes a weird compliment?
Here were some of the answers.
I have a handlebar mustache which routinely draws compliments, but this was a knock-out.
Some old farmer dude with two teeth, wearing ripped up overalls and smelling of bacon walked up to me in a Dollar General in rural Arkansas and said:
"Man, you could strap them things on a bike and ride it all the way to Germany!"
The hot girl in my class was sitting behind me and was like, "Mmm you smell like my dad..." in a very sultry voice.
That takes daddy issues to a whole new level 😳
The Star Of My Face
"I've seen some 8/10 noses, and a couple 9/10 noses, but I've never seen a solid 10/10 nose before! You have the nicest nose I've ever seen!"
-very drunk/high guy who then gave me a fiver cause my nose was a "supermodel"
Somehow Made This About Me
"You. Are. Beautiful. I'm a New York cosmetologist, so I know beauty when I see it and you are beautiful." This was said to me when I was 18 by a woman who came into the store where I worked.
What makes it weird is that I ran into this woman again at the mall months later and she said the same thing, pretty much word for word, so I guess she was consistent, at least.
The Length Of Lung
Went to the doctor for a lung x-ray, he told me I have the "longest lungs" he'd ever seen. I'm 6'5" so maybe not too surprising, but still I didn't know how to respond.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just take a long deep breath and relax.
Once participated in a Shakespeare competition in high school. Some of the attractive theater club girls were in the room with me and saw me perform. I didn't think I did all that well, but one of the girls pulled me to the side afterwards and said, "Your acting made me horny." To this day it probably stands as one of the weirdest compliments (and probably one of the best) I've ever received.
"Zis is fashion," when complimenting my hair. My hair was in weird in in-between state because I had gotten my hair chemically straightened and my curly hair had begun to grow back. So it was half and half and I looked almost like I could be the lead singer of The Cure. I accompanied my friend to a really expensive hair salon in Beverly Hills because she had a gift certificate for a haircut and the owner was this older French dude. He saw me and LOVED my hair. He kept saying "Zis is fashion. ZIS is fashion. I must take picture of you.'' So I let him.
But I Date Him Anyway
My boyfriend is very socially (and in a way mentally) challenged due to a few things. A reoccurring theme is his bad habit to state things as matter of fact just as they come to mind, and compliment people badly. About a month into meeting him/talking I heard.. (not word for word on all of them)
"You're very jiggly." (He was looking at my arms while I was umbrella fighting with a mutual friend)
"Your hair smells like funny dots!! It's nice."
"Woah! You DO have big feet!"
"Your eyes are my favorite kind of brown! I've never seen it like that before."
"You're not skinny skinny, and that's okay. You're cute."
"Your dark circles make you look sick— but that's not a bad thing!!! Just don't be sick."
"You have very chubby cheeks. (He squints and nods) Yeah.. When you smile your face goes round."
He's a treasure.
A stoner guy named Kevin that used to work at a pizza place I worked at: "Yo. I'd high-five you even if you had sauce on your hands, man, 'cuz you're cool and not a pirate like Norm." Norm was the guy who usually ran our fryer. He did sort of look like a slightly larger, short-haired Jack Sparrow.
Kevin also drew a comic on the wall (in pencil) of me running over Hitler in my "pizza mobile" and then giving FDR a pizza, which could have been interpreted as a compliment on my patriotism and driving skills.
At my old job, my first manager was an older woman. (She retired after my first year or so there). I forget what I was talking about, but I called myself a nerd. Because, well, I am. Proud of it. She got this horrified look on her face and tried to insist I wasn't a nerd and I shouldn't talk about myself that way. She was old enough to where she had never heard "nerd" be used as anything but a fairly severe insult.
I wasn't really sure what to make of that, I just told her it was fine and nerd wasn't a bad thing to be anymore. I'll always remember that though. Thanks Dolly! I guess...
Once i went into a McDonalds by myself to get a burger meal, and this obviously drunk guy holding a coffee comes up to me and says "I like your hair" and i say "Thank You" Then he says "No thank you for your amazing hair." I ordered and got out of there as fast as i could. (Note: I was Only 12 years old)
Get Your Filthy Paws Off My Silky Locks
Every student had to choose a language class (Spanish, French, German) so for these classes, you weren't with your usual classmates, for me, the antisocial quiet guy, that basically meant friendships with those people did not go further than learning peoples names.
So, I'm sitting at a table that hosts four people, a square table with two pairs of chairs sitting opposite each other. Suddenly I feel something patting my head, I look up from my book to see this guy I barely know, standing up from his chair, leaning across the table to pat me on the head, then sit back down, look me straight in the eyes and say "you have really soft hair", I really have no idea how to react, so I just say "thanks" and go back to reading, now self-conscious about whether my table-mates are looking at my hair.
On The Radio, Whoah
Someone told me once out of nowhere that I had a really cool boisterous voice that belonged in radio. Guy I'd never met before either. Never would again.
It was a weird compliment, honestly, but one of the greatest ones I've ever received because I'd been insulted about my voice for years and felt a little embarrassed about it.
Just Left Of A UnibrowGiphy
This friend I had walked up to me, started at my face then went "Oh my gosh I LOVE your eyebrows!!!" After that she would always talk about them and ask others if they agreed with her about it. I don't even do anything with my eyebrows though and they're actually quite ugly. I have a scar going through the middle of one and it makes some of the hair really messy, looking close it's almost a unibrow and they're completely different shapes.
I'm Better Than THAT French Teacher
This was a while ago but,
So I when I was in guiding, it was maybe around Christmas. We were writing cards to each other, having everyone say a nice thing about the person the cards. Everyone had to sign and say something nice on Everyone's card, even your own.
On mine, when saw it, someone wrote "I think your hair is NOT a wig, unlike my French teacher."
I felt happy, until they covered that message with stickers.
I Would Literally Murder For Your Hair
Im a long dark haired metalhead guy, and not at all to brag, but i have very nice hair. Its my most complimented feature and i have heard a lot of complements about it, a lot of wierd things and a lot of repeated things. One fairly weird one i hear a lot is "man, you have nicer hair than any of the girls around here." Another one is "you know a lot of people would kill for hair like that." All this also frequently goes with complete strangers asking to feel it (and if youre a girl and you ask me and i smile real big before saying yes know that i think you are pretty and you are making my week) and describing it like its a horse or sexy woman like "majestic" or "voluptuous" or "magnificent"
All that said, the weirdest one came from a very friendly crack whore. Several months I was doing a college job at a restaurant in my home town, and this particular time it was on the ghetto side of town. For the first time in my life i was fairly skinny and i still had a short beard. She saw me and she said in a high pitched voice "WOO-ooh! You look like Jesus but pretty!"
She kept going with things like that and i laughed and played along uncomfortably until my boss distracted her and saved me. Thank you for the sentiment, lady, I do appreciate it.
Being rich looks fabulous.
I know, money isn't everything.
I've seen the super rich literally throw money away, because they could.
They never see it as waste.
I want to be able to waste.
I wouldn't, but I'd like the option.
"What do insanely rich people buy that poor people have no idea about?"
I would spend on clothes. And I already have a lot. I can't help it. Gimme...
Vroomdriving fast and furious GIFGiphy
"On staff mechanics. People see the Floyd Mayweathers and Tom Cruises of the world buying tons of cars and motorcycles, but when you have a fleet like that, you basically need on staff mechanics who at the very least keep your cars clean, but also handle all maintenance."
"An acquaintance of mine is one of six pilots 'on retainer' for a wealthy family."
"I have a buddy pulling in nearly 200k as a chief pilot for a crew of 4 pilots for a billionaire family. They fly far less than your average commercial pilot and he’s in his mid 30s. We live in the south, where you can live like a king on 200k."
"Access. Need to call a governor? He's on speed dial and will phone the senators too. Need to talk to the CEO of Coca Cola... he's waiting for you and immediately assigns someone to fix your problem. Do you want to yacht around the horn of Africa? The closest naval fleet will tell you the safest route and provide 'support' so pirates don't mess with you."
"I own a company and by nature interact with a lot of billionaires and CEO's. I'm by no means rich but hang in the circle enough that I've e-mailed CEO's of fortune 500's and they've hooked me up with huge 'free' things as a small perk or thank you."
"I've been PAID to fly places just to have a 1 hour meeting and then get a free VIP week long vacation with the mayor or consulate showing me around. It's trippy and I've never really felt at home, but I've been eternally grateful for these travel opportunities."
"Support ships for your mega-yacht. The biggest yachts don't travel alone, they generally have small cargo ships that do everything from house additional staff, to transport your cars so you always have them when you make port, to holding all of your toys (helicopters, submarines, day-boats, etc.). They'll often travel a day or two ahead of the yacht to a destination so that your staff can unload your things (cars, clothing, etc.) at the next villa you're summering in."
Get back...love and hip hop goodbye GIF by VH1Giphy
"Isolation from poor people. Rich people spend a lot of money to make sure that poor people can't get anywhere near them."
Rich people are funny. And clearly a bit rude...
Doubles...Squad Reaction GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy
"Cloning pets, one of our investors spent ~$100K cloning his dog."
"There are membership-based vacation clubs. Similar to high-end country clubs, but for travel. You may pay a one-time initiation fee that can be upwards of $100k - $250k to get 5-10 years of access to purchase incredibly exclusive vacation/resort/rental property experiences. I work in the travel industry and I know of multiple companies like this."
The Expensive Skies
"I work in the film industry and one time I booked a trip for someone to fly from London to California for a weekend and it cost more than my yearly salary. This was 2010, and it was $35,000 for first class airfare, private car, & hotel, because they realized Friday morning that based on his contract that he needed to be present while the film was being finished that weekend, and his contract specified he accommodations needed to be first class/5-star hotel, etc.I accidentally had an extra "0" it was $35k, which is $10k more than what the studio was paying executive assistants at the time..."
"It's called kidnap and ransom insurance. K&R and it includes training so that you know what to do in a hostage situation. It also includes a trained response team. The statistics on this stuff was/is nasty. Your chance of survival with insurance is about 60%. Without it you're closer to 0%."
And popcorn?Movie Theater Reaction GIF by CBSGiphy
"There is a streaming service that's pretty much Netflix for rich people, allowing you to stream current cinematic movies for about 3,000 bucks a pop."
Oh to be rich and fabulous. Gimme the coins.
Don't you hate it when you get deceived by something pretty?
Like... "fooled you."
Those are the thoughts you get when you grab a rose and a bee jumps out and stings you.
Every group or community has its bees.
Or the more you learn about said groups you realize it's one big beehive.
Nothing is ever really the same from the outside in.
"What community seems really nice from the outside, but is actually really toxic?"
Every group has soulless people among them. It's all in the numbers.
Not so ChillScared Spider Web GIF by XboxGiphy
"Minecraft community, especially twitter. Minecraft is like the chillest game ever but the people who are into Minecraft youtube stuff are a whole new level of deranged."
"Crunchy mums/hippie mums/gentle parenting groups. They seem lovely, but it typically winds up being a judgemental pissing contest over who is the best parent in the world."
"As a gentle parenting and somewhat crunchy mom I can't fit into these groups either. Inevitably there's a crunchy mom who believes sunshine and vitamin c cure covid, or a hippy mom who wants to organize a protest at chic-fi-la, but most of them just talk trash about everybody that's different from them."
"ALL Christians are bad (I'm an atheist and I know plenty of lovely Christians). I don't get why people have to be so black and white like that. I will say that I can't deal with moms being sh*tty to their kids by either yelling or being manipulative assholes so I will leave a group if that behavior is being condoned. Guess that's where my judgment comes in... verbal, mental or physical abuse are not my things."
"Cosplay and it's not even close!"
I love making cosplays and wearing them, but last time I went to a convention, I realized I'd just become too old for the 'cosplay scene.'"
"I literally don't care that X broke up with Y so Z and W got into a fight because they sided with different people but Z and W had a matching cosplay planned and now V has taken W's place in making the cosplay and X made a group chat to mock V's cosplays and... like Jesus, it never stops. I just want to dress up as Jinx and take pictures. Leave me out of your teenage drama."
"Body positive community has some surprisingly negative people. My friend who at some point lost a lot of weight and got into exercising realized she was no longer welcome there. Not because she tried to tell other people to lose weight or started sharing dieting tips, but because her experience with obesity and her body did not match the preferred narrative."
Yeah RightIncredulous Yeah Right GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"Any workplace that describes itself as 'like a family.'"
"What they really mean is the Manson family."
That workplace one is a golden rule of life.
"Chemistry enthusiasts. It's all reaction videos involving highly toxic substances."
"It boils down to being a pretty caustic community. Not sure if there is a solution before it implodes."
"The yoga/wellness scene. the pandemic was actually kinda handy at showing you which yoga teachers to stay the hell away from. The big things are of course, the anti-scientific views on medicine, but it’s also a breeding ground for cult leaders and grifters."
"I agree! It’s so unfortunate because I love yoga, but so many instructors (in the western world I suppose) are awful. My least favorite is when I feel like I’m being given a stern lecture on vulnerability lmao."
"If the community stayed true to their original purpose, to quit porn, it wouldn't be toxic at all. But I'd say there are a lot of extremist people there, like people who say masturbation is evil and you must be fully abstinent unless you get a one night stand with a 10/10 because you did X number of days, or just plain conspiracies about the whole world view. The problem is this kind of posts never get removed."
"The Kpop community? They be like heeeyyyy come enjoy this and the next minute tear you apart because you didn’t pick their favorite member."
"Yess! especially the whole locals things. when people that aren't into Kpop find a song that they like, people will tear them apart for listening to Kpop, telling them to name all the members of a group (obvi not talking about those weird thirst traps made by TikTokers)."
IntenseSuper Mario Mate GIFGiphy
"For whatever God forsaken reason, Paper Mario. I have gotten more death threats from Paper Mario fans than any other Fandom. I posted about it maybe three times, max. About how I liked the games, specifically."
"Mario fandom is freaking intense. Critikal made a video about huge fight in YouTube comments that started with which Mario song is better."
Not everybody is a good person, even when it looks like they are.
Have you ever wished you could pee a different liquid?
Well, just give it some thought.
What if you could urinate something which could actually help others, or something which could ease your financial burdens, akin to the goose who laid the golden eggs?
Then too, what if you could change things up, and pee something a bit more interesting than the customary pale yellow urine we currently produce?
Redditor aggles_N533PA encouraged the Reddit community to allow their imaginations to go wild, when they took to Reddit to ask:
"If you have the ability pee whatever liquid you want, what would you like to pee?"
"Horseshoe crab blood."- Outnabout3535325
Just the simple stuff
Saves money, and could put an end to drilling!
"If it did not hurt, I would be peeing pure gasoline."- Tink2013
"Ethanol so I could piss in my pants and it would go dry again after like a minute."- xaomawgas gasoline GIFGiphy
Two birds, one stone!
"Toilet cleaner."- Loriol_13
"Not literally liquid gold, but the wood cleaning spray."- PoopMuffin5
To quench one's thirst
"Baja Blast Mountain Dew."- weavejer261·do the dew GIFGiphy
"A million more wishes."- johntwoods
Saves a trip to Staples!
"Undie dribbles could be a problem though."- MadMikey6
"One of the most expensive things in the planet."
"If not having to be real, then fountain of youth water so I could be young forever."- Catshannonrainbow hp GIF by Anthony AntonellisGiphy
It's a very interesting idea, that urinating could actually accomplish more than relieving oneself.
Even if this might also require some alternatives to conventional toilets...
There's little more restorative than going on a hike.
Escaping from the hustle and flow, and enjoying the peaceful serenity of nature, and taking in all the beauty around you.
But every now and then, hikers may stumble across something a bit unsettling, even scary.
Making them want to return to civilization all the sooner.
Redditor purple_loves_bread was eager to hear about the creepiest discoveries made by experienced hikers while on the trail, leading them to ask:
"Hikers of Reddit, what's the weirdest/scariest thing you've found/seen during a hike?"
How did it even get there?
"A dolphin skeleton 50 meters from the water on a trail in Costa Rica."- argenntinosaurus
An unwanted visitor
"On a backpacking trip in the Sierra Mountains in California, my buddy forgot to put his toothpaste in the bear bag, which is a bag you put all food and aromatic items in to hang from a tree branch at night so the bears won't eat it."
"At about 2 a.m., we hear him yelling and get up to find a huge black bear on top of him in his tent trying to get at the toothpaste."
"The rest of us had to bang pans and throw rocks to get the bear to leave him alone."- The_Spyrebbc one bear GIF by BBCGiphy
Literal grave robbers
"Hiking in Vermont."
"Saw a bright red shirt hanging in a tree off the trail, so I went to check it out."
"Saw a couple of freshly dug graves and a few really old headstones."
"Reported it - turns out it was someone stealing headstones from a local graveyard and relocating them."
"Don't know if they were stealing the bodies, too."- GravityoftheMoon
Improper hiking attire
"Me, my old roommate and a friend went hiking into the woods in Tennessee."
'We were going along minding our own business, then we came up on a stream."
"On the other side of the stream, getting ready to cross, was a group of about 5 or 6 dudes only wearing socks and shoes."
"Naked bros hiking in the woods."
"I'm all about being in your birthday suit or whatever, but it was weird seeing it for the first time and apparently its a thing."- BungJovi
Witness to a massacre
"I stumbled on a poaching dump when I was 14."
"I used to hike trails near our home, way out in the woods."
"I'd explore, and then have to find my way back without a compass."
"I went really far one day, probably 2-3 miles through these old logging trails."
"I started smelling something terrible."
"There was a rocky outcrop right before a steep cliff."
"At the bottom of the cliff, there was a massive pile of dead deer, most were decapitated."
"Some were fawns."
"Had to have been 20-30 of them at varying states of decay."
"The stench was mind-alteringly bad."
"When I thought I had seen enough, I heard 4-wheelers and decided to hide."
"Two poachers in camo rolled up and tossed two more deer carcasses on the pile."
"They smoked, talked, and then left after about 10 minutes."
"I was probably 15 feet from them the entire time, hiding under a hemlock tree."
"I did not recognize either of them, and I knew absolutely everyone on that entire side of town, it was only 15-20 houses in a 5 mile stretch."
"I ran home and told my parents."
"They didn't believe me."
"Plus, they didn't know I was running off to those trails, so I got in huge trouble for that."
"I mentioned it to our neighbor who was big into hunting, he seemed very concerned and brought it up to the game warden."
"They investigated it, found the dump site, but never caught anybody."
"I am 100% certain it was not my neighbor." - User Deleted
Up close and personal with nature's beasts
"Mountain lion came very close to me."
"It didn't seem aggressive but it was curious."
"After a few minutes of us staring at each other and me pissing my pants he finally lost interest and disappeared into the forest while I got the f*ck out of there."- -MultiF0rmsMOUNTAIN LION cougar GIFGiphy
An underground operation
"I've seen mountain lions, I've seen bears."
"The scariest thing I've seen was an elaborate grow operation in Northern CA."
"I crested a hill and walked 20 yards into this valley when I realized there were irrigated pot plants for as far as the eye could see."
"Reservoirs, hoses, camouflaged netting."
"My friend and I noped out of there as fast we could, both expecting to be shot on our way back to our car."- Zmirzlina
Not so itsy-bitsy...
"Hiking early morning in Hawaii and my stomach notifies me that it’s time to go #2 ."
"I find a porta potty near the trailhead and jump in to do my business."
"Once complete, I flipped my headlamp on to find the toilet paper, but instead find a huge, 5” in diameter, banana spider hanging out in the corner of the porta potty."
'Trying not to spook it I slowly reached for the 1-ply."
"As I do, my headlamp shines on this monster and it proceeds to FREAK TF OUT!!! "
"It runs in circles for a bit, both of us losing our minds at this point, and ends up between my legs inside of my underwear!!!"
"I’m at a complete loss for what to do, but eventually begin wiggling back and forth in an attempt to get this spider to remove itself."
"That didn’t work at all! Instead of exiting the premises, this MFer runs up my leg."
"This is the point where I give up and storm out of the porta potty yelling and screaming, pants around my ankles."
"No clue what happened to that spider, but it disappeared in a flash…just like my dignity."- Kamala__2024Spider Web Halloween GIFGiphy
Everyone needs an escape to the great outdoors every now and again.
Even though one never knows what lies in store, or what they may find.
Making the feeling of coming home all the more comforting.