Sometimes, we wonder what goes through people's minds before they open their mouths.
Like, we get it, you tried to be nice. But it didn't quite work and now this is weird. You have made it weird.
So what exactly constitutes a weird compliment?
u/not-your-teacher asked:
What is the weirdest compliment that you have ever gotten?
Here were some of the answers.
German Journey
GiphyI have a handlebar mustache which routinely draws compliments, but this was a knock-out.
Some old farmer dude with two teeth, wearing ripped up overalls and smelling of bacon walked up to me in a Dollar General in rural Arkansas and said:
"Man, you could strap them things on a bike and ride it all the way to Germany!"
Zaddy Issuez
The hot girl in my class was sitting behind me and was like, "Mmm you smell like my dad..." in a very sultry voice.
That takes daddy issues to a whole new level 😳
The Star Of My Face
"I've seen some 8/10 noses, and a couple 9/10 noses, but I've never seen a solid 10/10 nose before! You have the nicest nose I've ever seen!"
-very drunk/high guy who then gave me a fiver cause my nose was a "supermodel"
Somehow Made This About Me
"You. Are. Beautiful. I'm a New York cosmetologist, so I know beauty when I see it and you are beautiful." This was said to me when I was 18 by a woman who came into the store where I worked.
What makes it weird is that I ran into this woman again at the mall months later and she said the same thing, pretty much word for word, so I guess she was consistent, at least.
The Length Of Lung
Went to the doctor for a lung x-ray, he told me I have the "longest lungs" he'd ever seen. I'm 6'5" so maybe not too surprising, but still I didn't know how to respond.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just take a long deep breath and relax.
Great Acting
Once participated in a Shakespeare competition in high school. Some of the attractive theater club girls were in the room with me and saw me perform. I didn't think I did all that well, but one of the girls pulled me to the side afterwards and said, "Your acting made me horny." To this day it probably stands as one of the weirdest compliments (and probably one of the best) I've ever received.
High Fashion
"Zis is fashion," when complimenting my hair. My hair was in weird in in-between state because I had gotten my hair chemically straightened and my curly hair had begun to grow back. So it was half and half and I looked almost like I could be the lead singer of The Cure. I accompanied my friend to a really expensive hair salon in Beverly Hills because she had a gift certificate for a haircut and the owner was this older French dude. He saw me and LOVED my hair. He kept saying "Zis is fashion. ZIS is fashion. I must take picture of you.'' So I let him.
But I Date Him Anyway
My boyfriend is very socially (and in a way mentally) challenged due to a few things. A reoccurring theme is his bad habit to state things as matter of fact just as they come to mind, and compliment people badly. About a month into meeting him/talking I heard.. (not word for word on all of them)
"You're very jiggly." (He was looking at my arms while I was umbrella fighting with a mutual friend)
"Your hair smells like funny dots!! It's nice."
"Woah! You DO have big feet!"
"Your eyes are my favorite kind of brown! I've never seen it like that before."
"You're not skinny skinny, and that's okay. You're cute."
"Your dark circles make you look sick— but that's not a bad thing!!! Just don't be sick."
"You have very chubby cheeks. (He squints and nods) Yeah.. When you smile your face goes round."
He's a treasure.
Hi, Kevin
A stoner guy named Kevin that used to work at a pizza place I worked at: "Yo. I'd high-five you even if you had sauce on your hands, man, 'cuz you're cool and not a pirate like Norm." Norm was the guy who usually ran our fryer. He did sort of look like a slightly larger, short-haired Jack Sparrow.
Kevin also drew a comic on the wall (in pencil) of me running over Hitler in my "pizza mobile" and then giving FDR a pizza, which could have been interpreted as a compliment on my patriotism and driving skills.
Hello, Dolly
GiphyAt my old job, my first manager was an older woman. (She retired after my first year or so there). I forget what I was talking about, but I called myself a nerd. Because, well, I am. Proud of it. She got this horrified look on her face and tried to insist I wasn't a nerd and I shouldn't talk about myself that way. She was old enough to where she had never heard "nerd" be used as anything but a fairly severe insult.
I wasn't really sure what to make of that, I just told her it was fine and nerd wasn't a bad thing to be anymore. I'll always remember that though. Thanks Dolly! I guess...
Hair Scare
Once i went into a McDonalds by myself to get a burger meal, and this obviously drunk guy holding a coffee comes up to me and says "I like your hair" and i say "Thank You" Then he says "No thank you for your amazing hair." I ordered and got out of there as fast as i could. (Note: I was Only 12 years old)
Get Your Filthy Paws Off My Silky Locks
Highschool:
Every student had to choose a language class (Spanish, French, German) so for these classes, you weren't with your usual classmates, for me, the antisocial quiet guy, that basically meant friendships with those people did not go further than learning peoples names.
So, I'm sitting at a table that hosts four people, a square table with two pairs of chairs sitting opposite each other. Suddenly I feel something patting my head, I look up from my book to see this guy I barely know, standing up from his chair, leaning across the table to pat me on the head, then sit back down, look me straight in the eyes and say "you have really soft hair", I really have no idea how to react, so I just say "thanks" and go back to reading, now self-conscious about whether my table-mates are looking at my hair.
On The Radio, Whoah
Someone told me once out of nowhere that I had a really cool boisterous voice that belonged in radio. Guy I'd never met before either. Never would again.
It was a weird compliment, honestly, but one of the greatest ones I've ever received because I'd been insulted about my voice for years and felt a little embarrassed about it.
Just Left Of A Unibrow
GiphyThis friend I had walked up to me, started at my face then went "Oh my gosh I LOVE your eyebrows!!!" After that she would always talk about them and ask others if they agreed with her about it. I don't even do anything with my eyebrows though and they're actually quite ugly. I have a scar going through the middle of one and it makes some of the hair really messy, looking close it's almost a unibrow and they're completely different shapes.
I'm Better Than THAT French Teacher
This was a while ago but,
So I when I was in guiding, it was maybe around Christmas. We were writing cards to each other, having everyone say a nice thing about the person the cards. Everyone had to sign and say something nice on Everyone's card, even your own.
On mine, when saw it, someone wrote "I think your hair is NOT a wig, unlike my French teacher."
I felt happy, until they covered that message with stickers.
I Would Literally Murder For Your Hair
Im a long dark haired metalhead guy, and not at all to brag, but i have very nice hair. Its my most complimented feature and i have heard a lot of complements about it, a lot of wierd things and a lot of repeated things. One fairly weird one i hear a lot is "man, you have nicer hair than any of the girls around here." Another one is "you know a lot of people would kill for hair like that." All this also frequently goes with complete strangers asking to feel it (and if youre a girl and you ask me and i smile real big before saying yes know that i think you are pretty and you are making my week) and describing it like its a horse or sexy woman like "majestic" or "voluptuous" or "magnificent"
All that said, the weirdest one came from a very friendly crack whore. Several months I was doing a college job at a restaurant in my home town, and this particular time it was on the ghetto side of town. For the first time in my life i was fairly skinny and i still had a short beard. She saw me and she said in a high pitched voice "WOO-ooh! You look like Jesus but pretty!"
She kept going with things like that and i laughed and played along uncomfortably until my boss distracted her and saved me. Thank you for the sentiment, lady, I do appreciate it.
Things People Do That Make You Instantly Hate Them
Reddit user meulinlalondeowo asked: 'What's something that someone can do, that makes you instantly hate them?'
Unfortunately, we can't all get along with everyone. Sometimes, we don't mesh with people. Other times, we did get along until we got burned by the other people one too many times.
And sometimes, they do something that bothers you so much that you hate them instantly.
For me, it's a co-worker who says they will complete a task, then pass it off to me at the last minute since they know I'm too shy to say no. I don't mind doing the work; I'd just like to that I have to do it before the deadline.
I tend not to be friendly to those co-workers. It stops them from trying to pull that again.
Redditors have identified the behaviors that make them instantly hate someone and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor meulinlalondeowo asked:
"What's something that someone can do, that makes you instantly hate them?"
Don't Be A Slob
"Coworkers that don't clean up after themselves, leaving their personal crap for others to pick up."
– TiredOfEveryting
"This drives me crazy at my work place. The break room is always a mess. People leaving their things in the good spots and making it seem like they're saving the spot and then just don't come back. Leaving the tables dirty and sticky after they're done eating. Never pushing their chairs in."
"Like, yeah, we have cleaning staff but they aren't waiting around to clean up after every person. And even if they were, youre a f**king adult and should wipe up your own damn messes."
– StinkyKittyBreath
Not Funny
"Pranking someone in a way that deeply upsets them then laugh in their face"
– WiseOldChicken
"‘It was just a joke, why are you getting upset?’"
– Hellostranger1804
"A long time ago I was working at this cheesy company and they had this thing where the district manager would randomly call one of the offices once a month and ask whoever answered (rotating call system) what the top values of the company were. There was like a list of 5 things. If you got it right, you’d win $1,000."
"Well, one day I got the phone call. My heart was in my throat because I was so nervous, but I knew the answers. I felt like my prayers had been answered. I couldn’t pay my rent, I was always low on gas or completely out of food, I had even gone without heat in my car during Northern winter because I couldn’t afford to fix it. I was always drowning, no matter how hard I worked, with no resources, no credit or help around me—always stressed."
"Well the manager congratulated me for my knowledge and told me I won the thousand dollars. Still on the phone, I felt like a weight lifting off me, a sense of joy and ease coming—until a few people, all guys, came over laughing their a**es off and said it was “Dave” pranking me. I died inside."
"I started crying and yelling how cruel it was to do that. I was a young girl, in my early twenties then and Dave was like in his 40’s, I think. I was in disbelief. I am always friendly to everyone. Why me? They didn’t care how much it upset me. The whole lot of them. I’m 47 now and still remember the disappointing ache I felt in my heart that day more than twenty years ago. F**k you, Dave, and you other fools too, wherever you are!"
– IntrigueMachine
I Didn't Do It!
"Accusing me of something that I didn't do. Brings out instant ire in me."
– Pianowman
""I know you're lying because you're getting defensive about it.""
"rage."
– Kraymur
"They don’t seem to understand the concept that a person being accused of doing something they actually didn’t do would defend themselves."
– Intrepid-Lecture3077
Liar, Liar
"When they are lying, and I know that they are are lying, and they know that I know that they are lying, but they continue the lie."
– TrailerParkPrepper
"You are describing my brother."
"You forgot the part where you call them out on the lie, and they get angry with you because "they're not lying.""
– Pianowman
"My old boss."
"Boss: Why are you doing that?"
"Me: That’s what you said to do."
"Boss: I didn’t say that."
"Me: You said to do exactly this and I have witnesses that can confirm it."
"Boss: ………(storms off angrily) I got fired."
"Best thing that ever happened to me."
– audiorob1210
Just Be Nice
"When someone belittles someone for being excited over something or having a hobby"
"If someone says for example that they love to crochet and they’re excited to spend their day off making a new hat and someone makes fun of them they can get f**ked. No one should be made to feel bad for finding enjoyment in something harmless."
– Mushroomc0wz
"Rain on someone else's rainbow. If someone truly loves something like video games, a film genre, a sport or some other kind of interest/passion etc., and a person goes "that's a bit childish" or "X...is so boring" after they've explained why they love it, that to me is just mean and instantly turns me off."
– Soshedid2991
Animal Cruelty Is Not Okay
"Be cruel to an animal"
– Flimsy-Attention-722
"Throw a rock at a duck. It happened, i hate them."
– ohmyperfection
Litterbug
"litter"
– Flimsy-Attention-722
"I visited NOLA earlier this year and witnessed blatant littering right in front of me for the first time. This guy was walking out of a convenience store opening a candy bar, took the full wrapper off, and tossed it on the ground. Had that person waited 3-4 more strides, it would have literally landed in a trash can. I was bamboozled!"
– Bears_in_the_woods
Family Should Be Respected
"Talking bad about their spouse or children."
– SaiyanGodKing
"There's a guy who started at my work, sh*t talking his wife from day one. I told him he better show his wife some respect. The unfortunate thing is that I think this guy thinks he's just being cool or funny saying these things. But then they had a kid and the "jokes" were suddenly about both of them. He made a crack at them in a meeting with all my coworkers and I piped in and said "Jesus Christ dude, everytime you open your mouth I wanna smack the sh*t out of it""
"Haven't heard a negative thing about his wife or child since. Folks, ITS NOT F**KING COOL"
– JMC1110
My Turn To Talk!
"When they either accidentally or intentionally talk at the same time as someone or just straight up interrupt, they never go, "Oh sorry you go" but instead brute force their talking through."
"A girl in my indoor soccer team used to do this and one time I said to my friend, "The next time she does it, I'm just not going to back down." Next time, she interrupted me it was me and her talking to my friend continuously for like 2 minutes with him losing his mind trying to listen to both of us and at the end of it it was like she was completely unaware."
– SkinkaLei
Respect The Space
"Leaving their shopping cart blocking the entire aisle, totally oblivious to the existence of every other human in the grocery store."
– Dynamo_Ham
"Also, people who leave their shopping carts in the parking lot. Especially when blocking an open parking space."
– khelwen
"So brutal. Just callous pointless conduct that takes at most 15 seconds of effort to fix. Why?"
– Dynamo_Ham
"I love this so much! I'll find another unattended, sideways cart and swap a couple pretty noticeable items between them. Then when dipsh*t finally wanders back they just stare in hilarious confusion; they're pretty sure this was their cart, but the case of water is gone and they didn't grab that bottle of wine that's sitting on top so maybe it isn't. You can practically see the steam coming out their ears as they struggle to process it."
"Shopping with idiots used to be a huge source of stress, but I've found ways to make it entertaining."
– Belphegorite
Drive Safe
"Not use a turn signal."
"F**k you you piece of sh*t. I don't care what the f**king reason is. USE YOUR F**KING TURN SIGNAL."
– MickCollins
"And do it correctly."
"Can't tell you how many times I see a lane switch and when the car is already half way over the line will they grace us with a single half blink."
– AngelOfDeath771
I can't tell you how many times I screamed at other drivers (in my head) for not using turn signals. It's no joke!
Do you have any items to add to the list let us know in the comments below.
Men and women and talking and flirting.
What a disaster that can be.
It's especially tricky when men flirt with women who are into women.
It sounds like a lot of gents can't take that obvious hint.
How this is STILL an issue in 2023 is beyond us all.
But here we are.
Gentlemen, please sit and read the following.
And then read it again.
Then share with your friends and male family.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, I’m gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia… but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. We’d established countless times over the last year that we weren’t into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I weren’t he wouldn’t go for me, yada yada. We’d talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought I’d had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friend’s input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but I’m bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say I’m not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you don’t look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize I’m NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
Individual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
As a society, we have made this general correlation that spending more means receiving a higher-quality item.
But sometimes we need to remember that affordable purchases are totally worth our time, and sometimes those purchases prove to be the true game-changers.
Redditor degenerateunicorn asked:
"What inexpensive purchase improved your life greatly?"
Long Charging Cables
"For once and for all, it's a ten-foot charging cable for your phone!"
- usuperavenger
"Not just one... but one for each room you regularly charge your phone. A 10-footer in the bedroom and a 10-footer in the loungeroom, changed my life."
- lhsofthebellcurve
Good Earplugs
"Earplugs. Just pop those in your ears and shut the world out."
- lapsangsouchogn
"I bought some to help me sleep and oh. my. god. I sat on this brilliant idea for seven years. I feel so ashamed of myself."
- DidDunMegasploded
A Library Card
"Does a library card count?"
- Lookimawave
"I'd say so! There's just so much you can do at local libraries! Especially in the bigger cities. The things they have to lend out are really interesting and definitely not just books!"
- appleparkfive
"I hardly ever even go into the physical library, but the card gives me access to e-books, audiobooks, and movies via Libby, Hoopla, Overdrive, and Canopy. Although the physical library does have neat resources like 3D printers, laser cutters, a recording studio, etc."
- Lookimawave
An Electric Toothbrush
"Electric toothbrush!"
- imvital
"Does it make a big difference? Lifelong manual toothbrush user, but I've been considering converting if it's worth it."
- ILoveLamp_1995
"A few years back I needed to get a new toothbrush and the cheapest in the store was a battery-powered electric. I thought why not and tried it out."
"My next dentist visit showed a marked improvement with just that cheap, crappy brush."
"I bought an Oral-B electric brush (with bluetooth!) right there in the dentist's office. Since then, my dentist checkups have just been a bit of scraping, with very little if any bleeding. Definitely worth it."
- nabrok
A Jogging Phone Holder
"A shoulder holster for my phone when I started to run again. It was the running that changed my life obviously, but having my phone within Bluetooth range for music made it achievable. Cost me all of seven dollars."
- EveryonesADose
More Pillows
"I got myself a third pillow last year. I don't know what it is about it but definitely has made sleeping better."
- potatosalade26
A Roomba or Equivalent
"Not necessarily cheap, but a Roomba. Now I HAVE to keep my place clean and decluttered so it can work. No more piles of laundry and whatnots."
- Pale-Dust2239
"There are cheaper ones out there and if you decide to give them a go 100% pay for the extended warranty."
"I got a Eufy which we love but have had it replaced twice in three years for free. Next time it dies we’ll be out of warranty so hopefully I can get enough cash together for a Roomba."
- MissingVanSushi
A Swiss Army Knife
"I got it as a gift but a basic Swiss Army knife. It fits in my pocket, and gives me a crappy screwdriver, bottle opener, tweezers, etc., in a pinch. It also doesn’t freak people out like other pocket knives."
- Mrofcourse
A Meat Thermometer
"A meat thermometer takes the guesswork and worry out of internal temps."
- 9umopapisdn
"Oh my god, do you have a Meater? My husband says it’s the best gift I’ve ever given him. It’s a meat thermometer that connects to your phone."
- degenerateunicorn
A Bidet
"A bidet."
- art8127
"Yes! It costs thirty dollars, and even a doofus like me was able to 'install' it in under 10 minutes."
- poppy-sparklehorse
A Sleep Mask
"A proper sleep mask."
"They're not too expensive. I wrap it around one of those microwavable bean bags shortly before bed and it becomes a warm mask for falling asleep. Super comfortable."
- zomboromcom
"I agree, mine was a great purchase. Not only does it help me sleep in later, but putting it on has now become the signal to my body that it's time to sleep."
- sedimentary-1
Glass Lens Cloth
"Glasses cleaner cloth. Such a little soft piece of cloth saves me from the frustration of constant smears, smudges, possible scratches, and ruining the anti-glare layer on my glasses. I hate looking out of dirty glasses."
- agbmom
A Bicycle
"I bought a second-hand bike for $60 back in the autumn of 2020. I took to cycling, and because of that, I lost 35lbs (but put 20 back on), it renewed my sex life with my husband and I feel healthier. It’s very calming (it’s a multi-use trail, so no vehicles and it’s flat and maintained)."
"I have some wonderful folks I talk to every time I go out and dogs I get to give treats to. I go out any morning I can Spring/Summer/Autumn for between 90 minutes to two hours, as long as it isn’t raining or too windy… I’ll even go out when it’s below 0°C. I’m early retired, so I have plenty of time."
- NickNNS
A Wet Pallet for Painting
"My homemade wet pallet. Leftover scrap container, some sponge, parchment paper, and a little water, and boom. Perfectly thinned acrylic paint and blending surface. It was a game changer for me as an artist."
- Adubya76
A Backscratcher
"A one-dollar backscratcher!"
- LazyHighGoals
"I keep a backscratcher on my nightstand, and now I don’t know how I lived without it."
- wholewheatscythe
Each of these purchases are items that we could not only see purchasing ourselves, but we can totally understand how these were life-changing for these Redditors, despite the price of the purchases. Sometimes the most life-changing things have the smallest price tags!
Getting a job may be difficult, but believe it or not, it's allegedly harder to get fired from jobs.
Employees have to seriously be incapable of doing the job they were hired for, or they must be so miserable after realizing the job description was not what they signed up for that they deliberately jeopardize their position just to be shown the door.
Strangers online were happy to provide examples of terminated coworkers when Redditor Business_Reporter420 asked:
"What’s the fastest way you’ve ever seen a new coworker get fired?"
The couple times deserve the benefit of a doubt.
And then there are the other times after that...
Losing Track Of Time
"6 hours. Call center job. She showed up to orientation on day 1 about an hour late. Hey stuff happens. Then we go on a 15 min break. She goes out to take a phone call, comes back in after about 45 min. We go to lunch, it's 30 minutes. She comes back over an hour later. We go on afternoon break, when the 15 min break is up, one of the trainers gets up and steps out in the hall and closes the door behind him. We hear her arrive and argue with him about 20 minutes after that. He comes back in and gets the stuff she left at her desk and we never see her again."
– misoranomegami
A String Of Unfortunate Events
"First day, her grandmother died. Understandable. Second day, her car broke down. Bad luck. Third day she had no electricity and couldn’t blow dry her hair. She was told not to bother coming in at all."
– exitzero
The Employee On Her Own Schedule
"There are a lot of these people. What do they think is going to happen, like they'll come in to work eventually, everyone will understand, and they'll be a great employee... tomorrow though. Today they're hungover."
"I fired a girl like this... she acted gobsmacked 'wow, gosh, really? This is kinda crazy, i've never been fired before.'"
"She showed up for about 50% of her scheduled days for like 2 straight weeks. Did she really think that was how jobs work?"
– Steinmetal4
Downfall Of Mass Hiring
"Worked for startups the past couple of years before I recently took a new gig but we had to hire about 100 people in the span of 2 weeks which I told my boss was a bad idea but the CEO insisted"
"Hired a young lady, she had a spotty resume but was very cheerful and friendly in the interview and my boss's instructions were if they are nice and friendly 'pass them on to me.'"
"we oversaw the customer service relations for this company."
"On her first day she came in 15 minutes late, got into an argument with a customer on her first training call and took the mic and farted into it as loud as I've ever heard a human being fart"
"We paid her for the full day."
"Best hire ever."
– _Nolofinwe_
Some people were never a fit for the job.
Fear Gets In The Way
"I was working as a stable boy, and I was showing the new girl around the stables. As I introduced her to the horses, she was very apprehensive to come near them, refusing to even step into the stall (she signed on to help care for the horses.)"
"Later that day, she admitted that the horses terrified her, so the boss let her go."
– AlternativeFilm8886
The Sibling Discount
"In high school I worked at a clothing store as a cashier. Guy next to me has his sister come through with a huge pile of merchandise."
"He scans one item that was on clearance for like $2 over and over again for everything she had, which was likely hundreds of dollars."
"Didn’t realize the manager was standing right behind him."
“Go clock out and give me your name tag, you’re gone.”
"He didn’t argue or anything, just put his head down and walked off."
"The manager jumps on the register to clear the transaction out and the sister takes out her card, 'This is gonna be a credit.'”
"Manager says 'Not for $2 it’s not, get out of here.'”
"The sister actually tried to complete the purchase like nothing had happened lol"
– Plantayne
Gamer On The Clock
"A guy at my work was caught playing World of Warcraft for hours each day. Boss called him in and told him that was wholly unacceptable and he had to stop immediately or he'd be canned."
"Less than an hour later, IT calls the same boss and says the guy is back in his office playing again. He was let go that day."
– jpiro
Rule Breaker
"Worked in a sales call center about 10 years ago, real braindead work. New guy starts on a Monday morning, after he gets trained up on the basics (which takes about an hour), he gets assigned a desk and sets off to work."
"30 minutes later, it looks like little puffs of steam are rising up from his computer monitor. Turns out he was vaping on one of those disposable ecigarettes, the kind that sort of tried to look like real cigarettes. He gets told by the boss that we can't vape indoors, and if he wants to, he'll have to go outside to do it on a break."
"About 30 minutes later again, the same thing happens. He gets caught again, and is told in no uncertain terms that if he wants to keep his job, he'll stop vaping at his desk."
"An hour later, he gets caught hiding under his desk vaping, and is promptly fired, all before lunch time. Dude could have just gone outside."
– Mr_Itch
First And Final Delivery
"Day 1, delivering pizzas. I was the trainer."
"Dude wasn't familiar with the town at all (this was before GPS was a thing)."
"Second delivery, he gets in the car, and proceeds to floor it in the parking lot, showing off all 80 horsepower for the 30 feet before slamming on the brakes to turn onto the main street, nearly hitting a customer and her young child."
"I say whoah, slow down in the Parking lot, you almost hit that kid."
"'F'k em' was his response."
"That was his last delivery, lasted all of about 90 minutes."
– talontd92tsi
The easiest way for a worker to get off the payroll is for them to actually quit.
Misunderstanding Of A Job Position
"I used to work night audit/front desk at a motel adjacent to major highways. It was a super chill job, I loved my boss, and it was cool by me."
"But God, trying to hire and train someone to take over my hours - once for maternity leave, and then when I was moving away - was a nightmare. One lady claimed to be computer literate, and then tried to use the mouse to physically touch the correct spot on the monitor when I asked her to click on a field. Another got extremely confused when I mentioned that sleeping with a guest was completely out of bounds. A guy got arrested (and fired of course) for selling drugs to someone out the night window. It was just an absolute sh*t show."
"Before I moved, I gave my boss a 2-month notice, because I knew hiring and training was gonna be a nightmare. About a week before my final shift, we finally got someone in place. She was more than a bit strange and could certainly have used a spot of mental health care, but hey, I can't throw stones. She showed up, grasped the basics of the job, etc. About a week after I left, I learned that she had quit because she didn't realize that night audit was a purely overnight job."
"Idk."
– 50EffingCabbages
The Newbie's Assigned Task
"He didn’t get fired, he quit. But this dude was a first day hire as a bagger at a grocery store. Some dude blew up the entire bathroom with diarrhea. Walls, doors, sink, mirror, everywhere. They asked new dude to go clean it. He clocked out and never came back. He’s a hero."
– mrmastomas
I briefly worked for an entertainment company as a dancer with a friend of mine who was unfortunately let go during the rehearsal process.
He was unable to keep up with the demanding rehearsal schedule and couldn't retain the mass amount of choreography we were being taught in a short amount of time.
Poor guy wasn't even a slacker. As a matter of fact, he far exceeded my dancing capabilities and was hard-working, but he let himself get in the way and couldn't handle the pressure.
But by letting him go, the production company took a hit because teaching a new-hire everything from the beginning slowed us down more than the time it would've taken to help my friend memorize the choreography.
Sigh...