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Everyone has secrets on their phones. Catching a glimpse can be shocking, and you're probably gonna have some questions - like why someone would have a cache of Kim Jong Un photos, or werewolf porn bookmarked, or why The Emoji Movie is more exciting than biology class.

Delta_Spartan asked: What was the weirdest thing you saw on someone else's phone or computer?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


10. Such a sexy plot.

I once saw this man watch Captain America porn on the bus seat next to me. At 12pm. He didn't even seem aroused or anything, he just watched it out of pure intrigue.

Yugoslovenika

Sometimes it's just your patriotic duty.

compellor

It's like reverse Viagra in that it doesn't get you hard but it does provide some entertainment value so you just watch as you would an episode of Garfield.

JA1987

9. Bold.

My friend was showing me and a couple of our other friends something on Google and he had werewolf porn BOOKMARKED on the front page.

raevanl

8. What a pro.

I worked on IT while I was studying, we gave support to several small and medium sized companies. One day the secretary of a client company called because she had trouble with her keyboard, went there, changed the keyboard on her desktop and she said that her personal laptop was really slow and asked me to check the laptop as a favor and that she will pay me for that

Now, she was a small, kinda shy woman on her early 30's just married (we were not friends but we talked a little bit from time to time when I was there) That night at home I checked her laptop and it had a lot of malware and several useless startup programs and a really fragmented HD. While I was fixing all that I found a lot (and I mean it was a 1/3 of the Hard Drive space) of hardcore lesbian porn.

I said nothing, fixed everything, changed her antivirus and installed some free antimalware software, got paid and that's it

Hastur082

7. Why though - to everything...

On the bus the person sitting in front of me scrolled by a man hanging from the ceiling by his testes on his camera roll.

Classic.

scraulie_the_twisted

6. There's a lot going on here.

I was in biology class and there was a girl sitting in front of me. She had her laptop open and was watching The Emoji Movie.

psychopqth

Imagine how boring of a teacher you sre if people would rather watch Emoji Movie than listen to you.

Make an AMA, have a bunch of questions on how this came to be.

SomedayImGonnaBeFree

Jesus, this one beats all the others.

JonJon7687

5. You knew this was coming, but did he?

My friend was showing me pictures of the aftermath of a car crash he was in. Then he flicked one picture to many and there was his peen pic.

iamkevla

4. The more you know.

Long time ago, was still in highschool. This really really weird kid sat in front of me in computer science class. He was a Jehovah's Witness, tucked his jeans into his boots, and spoke really condescendingly to almost everyone, teachers included, especially if there was any holiday theme to any assignment. So when we had to write a program that had something to do with Halloween or Christmas, he would say something snarky and just leave the class. Also he always wore those weird t-shirts with like extravagant paintings of leopards and tigers on cliffsides or wolves howling at the moon.

Weird kid.

So one day the class was about to end, and I looked over my monitor, and saw that he was scanning through still frames from the original Lion King movie, and smiling. Just still images from random scenes throughout the movie. When I asked what he was looking at, he closed them frantically, and began closing windows, which I then realized he had saved all of these images on his personal drive for school.

imapersonmaybe

As an EX-Jehovah's Witness myself, I could think of a reason, in our religion, we are taught that we get to live in a earthly paradise where we every animal will become tame. He probably longed for a lion as a pet and couldn't think of anything else.

I had so many fanatic friends growing up that none of this story even strikes me as weird anymore.

Sad to say it is hard growing up in a cult.. if you ever see the kid again, cut him some slack please.

mammmamoet

3. You know what you saw.

A friend was showing me shots on her phone of some artwork she had done. She scrolls past and lands on photos obviously meant for her boyfriend. I looked away sharp while she buried the phone in her chest with that awkward "Oh sh*t" stare. I claimed that I didn't see anything and as soon as I saw it was something risque on the top half, I looked away too quick to really see it. But you know that thing where the brain knows full well what it saw? Yeah, that...

jon6

2. 'I just *love* propaganda!'

I had this weird friend in my boarding school. One time, he showed me a picture and it accidentally switched to a picture of Kim Jong-Un

I said "Haha, why do you have that on your phone?"

He laughed and showed me a folder with 200 pictures of Kim Jong-Un in various situations.

"See, that's him fishing. Oh and that's him delivering a speech, this one is him in his office..."

He described every picture for a solid 5 minutes until I changed the subject.

Dioksys

I kinda wanna see his gallery and hear his narration of it, honestly. That's pretty funny.

TheTurtleWhoMocks

1. A true master.

I worked in a mobile phone store. Was troubleshooting a customers phone when she got a picture message from her submissive in the nude, with cable ties around him. She just smiled and told me to finish fixing her phone or I'd be next.

carsona88

Society definitely teaches men some really cruel and unrealistic things about women. It ends up warping their attitudes and later affects the relationships they develop (or try to develop, in other cases). Men are also taught that women are crappy communicators, or simply don't communicate at all. Perhaps that contributes to men's behavior around women, which can come off the wrong way. It can seem entitled at best, frightening or violent at worst.

After Redditor rocketbot99 asked the online community, "Men who used to be creepy around women and stopped, what made you change your ways?" men shared their stories.

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Image by HISdesign from Pixabay

Parenting is a lifelong commitment.

My mother still marvels at how fast I grew up, and I know she was very much taken aback by the (first) time I moved out. I was 20 then and honestly, she would have been fine if I'd stayed indefinitely. Did she ever think, watching me take my first steps, that the years would fly by and that one day she'd be helping me move across the country? I'm sure she did. But that doesn't mean she was entirely prepared.

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Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".

Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.

U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?



First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.

Well, that’s awkward.

I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".

Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.

Xeeke

....no. No it’s not.

War Guy GIF Giphy

In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries

"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"

Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol

Papapsie

Fake but also real but also demonic?

A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.

HotelRoom5172648B

But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.

Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.

Starr_fall

Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.​

Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?

angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy

After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.

Onbakeplatinum

Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.

Rysilk

Uhhhhh that’s racist af.

Not to me but my husband.

He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.

My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."

...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.

HelloxOctober

Just gonna leave this one here....

"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."

The_questcoast

Well that’s a new one.

A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."

Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.

Tricky_Ad_8459

But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.​

I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.

alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.

A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?

In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.

Relikter

Ah yes, the two types of guitars.

Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.

Yankstraveler

Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.

CCC_037

Did you change your birthday?

At the bank.

Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?

Me: Yes

T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?

M: Yes

T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?

M: laughing I sure as hell hope so

That_one_air_guy

I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.

Newport, obviously.

I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come