Weddings are a time for two families to come together as one and celebrate a new lifelong love. At least, that's what we all expect. It's not news that every marriage study coming out says 50-some-odd percent of marriages end in divorce. Why is that? Sometimes, it's just because the couples weren't meant to be. Others, you can feel it in your guts, maybe even at the wedding itself.
Reddit user, u/CollegeBound92, wanted to know about those times when you just knew something was up when they asked:
What is the biggest "this relationship won't last" red flag you've ever seen at a wedding?
All You Need To Do Is Change Everything About You...?
Attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he is, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her & how that made everything perfect.
You Know Where To Pass The Blame
The groom had the ring in his pocket but forgot which one and the bride visually annoyed said "That's the kind of guy i'm marrying".
They divorced within the year.
The Shackles Were A Dead Giveaway
I worked as a county prosecutor. I did a sentencing where the guy was sent to prison for about two years. As I was walking out of the courtroom his girlfriend asked the judge to marry her to her boyfriend, who was going to prison. Judge said she needed a marriage license and there was a two day waiting period (he was basically telling her not to marry the guy). She pulls out the marriage license. The judge then says you need two witnesses. -she was alone. The dude's attorney grabbed me by the arm and enthusiastically volunteered us to be the witnesses. The wedding went through and now I have a story for Reddit.
A side note: the guy was in an orange jumpsuit and was shackled (literally shackled) during the ceremony.
TL;DR. I sentenced man to prison then served as best man in his wedding.
When Is A Wedding Not A Wedding?
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and right after the ceremony the bride told me this wasn't actually a wedding because the groom couldn't get married as he was still married to someone else. She was 3 months pregnant and was throwing a fake wedding to please her religious family and collect money/gifts.
So that was cool.
They "divorced" within a year.
Wait, We Coordinated On This?
At the end of the ceremony she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit - tight and purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said "Oh, I didn't know we were dressing up."
She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust.
They separated six months later.
The Downward Spiral Begins
The bride looked drugged up, and told me in confidence that she had broken her years-long sobriety with a bunch of Vicodin "to relax for the wedding."
Sadly, she never went back to not using drugs.
No No No, The BRIDE, Not Bridesmaid
Groom was sending texts to a very uninterested bridesmaid all night. Groom was also more interested in getting wasted with his buddies than being with the bride.
There were also red flags BEFORE the wedding. No surprise they were divorced in less than a year.
Red Wedding, Part II
I was one of the bodyguards to a groom who was without a doubt the biggest asshole I've ever met. He was narcissistic , cruel, and so arrogant the fact that no-one had smacked him astounded me on a daily basis. The bride on the other hand was lovely. She was kind, empathetic, and one of the most intelligent women I've ever met. She was the only person who seemed to be actually control the monster of a groom.
So day of the wedding comes, and at first everything is going pretty well. It was an arranged marriage, and both families had really gone all out. Dancers, acrobats, singers - you name it, they had it. Bride even announces they're going to donate the leftovers to the homeless.
Then Douchey McDoucheface brings out this group of actors who do a skit that's a very thinly veiled 'f-ck you' to his enemies, many of who were friends or related to the guests (one was actually his fiancées ex, who'd died a couple of years back).
Groom then tries to get his uncle to take part, but he refused to be apart of his nephew's bullsh-t. It was a pretty tense stand-off, but it got interrupted when they brought out the cake. I thought there wasn't going to be any more drama, but then the groom ended up choking on his wine.
King's Landing 300 AL, never again.
Keep It Together, Man
Groom fainted three separate times during the wedding vows.
"I'm f**ked either way"
My brother-in-law had proposed to his girlfriend and they had set a date a few years years into the future. Suddenly they move it to just be a few months ahead. Ended up asking him on the wedding day what was the hurry and the answer wasn't "she's the one" or anything like that, not even close... He answered "I'm f**ked either way, so may just get over with it"
FYI, they where expecting a child together so they where indeed stuck with each other either way, but I was still a bit shocked over the answer.
Did Anyone Tell The Groom?
Close family friend married a gal whom he had been dating less than a year. I didn't go to the wedding, but my mother and brother did, Poor guy was standing at the altar for a good while when someone finally remembered to tell him that the bride was in the ER.
She finally showed up a couple of hours later and they get married. Less than a year later, they were traveling overseas when the wife decided she was going back early (he was there working so he had to stay).
When he got back, she'd cleaned out the apartment.
Not Before Coke
My uncle having to be convinced by his buddies to stop doing blow in the bathroom so he could [cut] the cake with his future ex-wife.
Never Let Hockey Into The Wedding
The bride and grooms families got into a big fight about the Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Montreal Canadians during speeches, the place went silent and the head table went outside to to fight. It didn't end up getting violent. But later the groom came in after another argument and cut the cake by himself. They are divorced now, but it did last longer than I thought it would (10 years).
Sister Called Her Shot
After party at a wedding. Sister said "Now that you're married, you'll see the true [bride's name]."
Nasty divorce about 3 years later after having 2 kids. The bride is just insane but the groom still wants her. It's been a couple years since the divorce and he hasn't dated anyone since.
Divorced soon after the second kid's birth.
Number 7 Is The Charm?
It was his 6th wedding.
Red Flags at my wedding was basically that my exwife and her best friend wanted it to be their wedding and not our wedding. Those two did not like my mother and sister, so the friend of my exwife told my mom and sister to sit at a table far from us (I didn't know this until two years later. Had I known that day, I would have thrown the friend out of the reception). I was asked to replace my best man with the best friend's husband. Their son was already the ring bearer.
The marriage: the best friend was constantly around. She was actively against me when it came to decision making, going so far as telling me to leave, that the adults were talking. When hindsight taught her that my idea was the right idea, my exwife said "Next time we'll follow your plan." The friend said "Not if I'm here.". When she decided to cheat on her husband, she wanted my exwife to cheat on me.
Nothing Good About This At All
My cousin had a one night stand with what turned out to be a Mormon girl, which surprise surprise led to her getting pregnant. He had to meet with the church and was basically coerced into getting married with her. My family was invited to the reception but wasn't allowed into the temple to see the actual ceremony. The reception was held in the temple gymnasium, no alcohol, no music, just hot dogs for food and a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts for desert.
The marriage ended after she miscarried, which is awful, but we honestly feel like he dodged a bullet.
Too Busy To Notice
After the ceremony, the bride (who had epilepsy) had a seizure and her family took her into a side room away from all the guests to look after her until she'd recovered. The groom didn't bother to go and help look after his wife, he was too busy getting drunk and partying with all his mates. Even after the bride recovered enough to return to the celebrations he didn't stay with her or comfort her and she sat there in tears for half the night.
It lasted a couple of years before they divorced due to his selfishness and alcohol problem.
When Grandma Knows, Then It's A Red Flag
The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple hundred people, said, "can you believe that just two months ago, (bride's name) was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!"
Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.
Two For The Price Of One
The groom forgot the bride's name during his toast to her and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.
Oddly the wedding where the bride started labor during the reception is going strong ten years later. It was absolutely a shotgun wedding, her father pretty much told him either man up and marry her, or get out of her life so she could find the kid a real father. The groom was at the time a stoner who most of our family disliked (I always kinda liked him, but I wouldn't have wanted to be having a baby with him, I was certain she would be a married single mom.) and somehow between her third trimester and the birth he straightened up.
He worked for a few years, got injured and became a stay at home dad while she worked. (This is not a dig at him in the least, he's a great dad, and seems to be a great husband. Their home is always clean enough to be healthy, cluttered enough to be comfortable, and he cooks dinner six nights a week so his wife can come home and relax after work.) Plus while he was working, she was going to school for her special education certification and he never once tried to discourage her or imply that it was a stupid job to want the way her mother did.
But yeah, when your water breaks during the father daughter dance, things will be said.
Ever caught on during a wedding you knew wasn't going to last? Let us know!