Wedding Guests Share Their "This Relationship Won't Last" Realizations They've Had During The Ceremony
Weddings are a time for two families to come together as one and celebrate a new lifelong love. At least, that's what we all expect. It's not news that every marriage study coming out says 50-some-odd percent of marriages end in divorce. Why is that? Sometimes, it's just because the couples weren't meant to be. Others, you can feel it in your guts, maybe even at the wedding itself.
Reddit user, u/CollegeBound92, wanted to know about those times when you just knew something was up when they asked:
What is the biggest "this relationship won't last" red flag you've ever seen at a wedding?
All You Need To Do Is Change Everything About You...?
Attended a wedding where the bride talked, not about her love for him or how great he is, but more about how he changed so much of his personality for her & how that made everything perfect.
You Know Where To Pass The Blame
The groom had the ring in his pocket but forgot which one and the bride visually annoyed said "That's the kind of guy i'm marrying".
They divorced within the year.
The Shackles Were A Dead Giveaway
I worked as a county prosecutor. I did a sentencing where the guy was sent to prison for about two years. As I was walking out of the courtroom his girlfriend asked the judge to marry her to her boyfriend, who was going to prison. Judge said she needed a marriage license and there was a two day waiting period (he was basically telling her not to marry the guy). She pulls out the marriage license. The judge then says you need two witnesses. -she was alone. The dude's attorney grabbed me by the arm and enthusiastically volunteered us to be the witnesses. The wedding went through and now I have a story for Reddit.
A side note: the guy was in an orange jumpsuit and was shackled (literally shackled) during the ceremony.
TL;DR. I sentenced man to prison then served as best man in his wedding.
When Is A Wedding Not A Wedding?
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and right after the ceremony the bride told me this wasn't actually a wedding because the groom couldn't get married as he was still married to someone else. She was 3 months pregnant and was throwing a fake wedding to please her religious family and collect money/gifts.
So that was cool.
They "divorced" within a year.
Wait, We Coordinated On This?
At the end of the ceremony she changed into an extremely fancy going-away outfit - tight and purple and laced up down the sides. He changed into an old t-shirt and shorts that reeked of stale student-bachelor sweat and said "Oh, I didn't know we were dressing up."
She gave him a look of the purest hatred and disgust.
They separated six months later.
The Downward Spiral Begins
The bride looked drugged up, and told me in confidence that she had broken her years-long sobriety with a bunch of Vicodin "to relax for the wedding."
Sadly, she never went back to not using drugs.
No No No, The BRIDE, Not Bridesmaid
Groom was sending texts to a very uninterested bridesmaid all night. Groom was also more interested in getting wasted with his buddies than being with the bride.
There were also red flags BEFORE the wedding. No surprise they were divorced in less than a year.
Red Wedding, Part II
I was one of the bodyguards to a groom who was without a doubt the biggest asshole I've ever met. He was narcissistic , cruel, and so arrogant the fact that no-one had smacked him astounded me on a daily basis. The bride on the other hand was lovely. She was kind, empathetic, and one of the most intelligent women I've ever met. She was the only person who seemed to be actually control the monster of a groom.
So day of the wedding comes, and at first everything is going pretty well. It was an arranged marriage, and both families had really gone all out. Dancers, acrobats, singers - you name it, they had it. Bride even announces they're going to donate the leftovers to the homeless.
Then Douchey McDoucheface brings out this group of actors who do a skit that's a very thinly veiled 'f-ck you' to his enemies, many of who were friends or related to the guests (one was actually his fiancées ex, who'd died a couple of years back).
Groom then tries to get his uncle to take part, but he refused to be apart of his nephew's bullsh-t. It was a pretty tense stand-off, but it got interrupted when they brought out the cake. I thought there wasn't going to be any more drama, but then the groom ended up choking on his wine.
King's Landing 300 AL, never again.
Keep It Together, Man
Groom fainted three separate times during the wedding vows.
"I'm f**ked either way"
My brother-in-law had proposed to his girlfriend and they had set a date a few years years into the future. Suddenly they move it to just be a few months ahead. Ended up asking him on the wedding day what was the hurry and the answer wasn't "she's the one" or anything like that, not even close... He answered "I'm f**ked either way, so may just get over with it"
FYI, they where expecting a child together so they where indeed stuck with each other either way, but I was still a bit shocked over the answer.
Did Anyone Tell The Groom?
Close family friend married a gal whom he had been dating less than a year. I didn't go to the wedding, but my mother and brother did, Poor guy was standing at the altar for a good while when someone finally remembered to tell him that the bride was in the ER.
She finally showed up a couple of hours later and they get married. Less than a year later, they were traveling overseas when the wife decided she was going back early (he was there working so he had to stay).
When he got back, she'd cleaned out the apartment.
Not Before Coke
My uncle having to be convinced by his buddies to stop doing blow in the bathroom so he could [cut] the cake with his future ex-wife.
Never Let Hockey Into The Wedding
The bride and grooms families got into a big fight about the Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Montreal Canadians during speeches, the place went silent and the head table went outside to to fight. It didn't end up getting violent. But later the groom came in after another argument and cut the cake by himself. They are divorced now, but it did last longer than I thought it would (10 years).
Sister Called Her Shot
After party at a wedding. Sister said "Now that you're married, you'll see the true [bride's name]."
Nasty divorce about 3 years later after having 2 kids. The bride is just insane but the groom still wants her. It's been a couple years since the divorce and he hasn't dated anyone since.
Divorced soon after the second kid's birth.
Number 7 Is The Charm?
It was his 6th wedding.
Red Flags at my wedding was basically that my exwife and her best friend wanted it to be their wedding and not our wedding. Those two did not like my mother and sister, so the friend of my exwife told my mom and sister to sit at a table far from us (I didn't know this until two years later. Had I known that day, I would have thrown the friend out of the reception). I was asked to replace my best man with the best friend's husband. Their son was already the ring bearer.
The marriage: the best friend was constantly around. She was actively against me when it came to decision making, going so far as telling me to leave, that the adults were talking. When hindsight taught her that my idea was the right idea, my exwife said "Next time we'll follow your plan." The friend said "Not if I'm here.". When she decided to cheat on her husband, she wanted my exwife to cheat on me.
Nothing Good About This At All
My cousin had a one night stand with what turned out to be a Mormon girl, which surprise surprise led to her getting pregnant. He had to meet with the church and was basically coerced into getting married with her. My family was invited to the reception but wasn't allowed into the temple to see the actual ceremony. The reception was held in the temple gymnasium, no alcohol, no music, just hot dogs for food and a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts for desert.
The marriage ended after she miscarried, which is awful, but we honestly feel like he dodged a bullet.
Too Busy To Notice
After the ceremony, the bride (who had epilepsy) had a seizure and her family took her into a side room away from all the guests to look after her until she'd recovered. The groom didn't bother to go and help look after his wife, he was too busy getting drunk and partying with all his mates. Even after the bride recovered enough to return to the celebrations he didn't stay with her or comfort her and she sat there in tears for half the night.
It lasted a couple of years before they divorced due to his selfishness and alcohol problem.
When Grandma Knows, Then It's A Red Flag
The pastor at the wedding, in front of a couple hundred people, said, "can you believe that just two months ago, (bride's name) was in my house, crying because she was so lonely and wanted to be married so badly? And now look at her two months later, getting married to a guy she met the next day!"
Even her elderly grandmother laughed out loud.
Two For The Price Of One
The groom forgot the bride's name during his toast to her and called her a similar but very different name. (Like, if her name was Brenda, he called her Brittney.) It lasted two years.
Oddly the wedding where the bride started labor during the reception is going strong ten years later. It was absolutely a shotgun wedding, her father pretty much told him either man up and marry her, or get out of her life so she could find the kid a real father. The groom was at the time a stoner who most of our family disliked (I always kinda liked him, but I wouldn't have wanted to be having a baby with him, I was certain she would be a married single mom.) and somehow between her third trimester and the birth he straightened up.
He worked for a few years, got injured and became a stay at home dad while she worked. (This is not a dig at him in the least, he's a great dad, and seems to be a great husband. Their home is always clean enough to be healthy, cluttered enough to be comfortable, and he cooks dinner six nights a week so his wife can come home and relax after work.) Plus while he was working, she was going to school for her special education certification and he never once tried to discourage her or imply that it was a stupid job to want the way her mother did.
But yeah, when your water breaks during the father daughter dance, things will be said.
Ever caught on during a wedding you knew wasn't going to last? Let us know!
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/