Wedding Shop Employees Reveal The Scariest Bridezilla Moments They Ever Experienced
Weddings are one of the most coveted, beautiful traditions we have as human beings: two people, joined together for life. A beautiful cake, the all-too-familiar wedding dress and tuxedos, and of course, the fun of the reception after. But the weddings don't come cheap. And with the expensive nature of the wedding, comes the stress. And from the stress comes the Bride or Groom-zilla.
Redditor RedFrizz tempted fate when asking:
Here were some of the answers.
Wedding Shop Employees Reveal The Scariest Bridezilla Moments They Ever Experienced
Florist- We had a bride and her mother show up at 9am. They wanted to order a bridal bouquet, a mother of the bride cattelya orchid corsage, a boutonniere for the groom, and six smaller ones for the groomsmen. The wedding was scheduled for noon. Yep, three hours from then, and they wanted them ready by the time they were done with thier makeup appointment at the beauty parlor a few doors down. The bride was flipping through the FTD sample book and pointing out the style and flowers she wanted. Think garden roses with long sweeping trails of stephanotis and variegated ivy, all three of which would require at least a week's advanced order with our suppliers. She was absolutely gobsmacked that we didn't carry extremely expensive and highly perishable flowers at all times. Same with the catteleya orchid for the mom's corsage. My boss told them that since they didn't place an order beforehand they would be limited to what we had in stock, and simple styles that could be assembled quickly. The bride and her mom kept pointing at the book and arguing that we should have those specific flowers in stock. My boss eventually took the book off the desk and tossed it behind the counter.
The bride vacillated between tears and petulant whining that we were going to ruin her big day. My boss, who had a bone deep loathing for brides in general, told her she had ruined her own day by not ordering her flowers before her actual wedding day. The mom tried chewing out my boss for her lack of customer service skills. My boss told her that she was welcome to go down the street to Vons and ask their flower department to make thier order with whatever they had in stock. The mom said she'd do just that, and reassured the bride that she'd have her flowers done by the time her appointment was over. Both women stormed out.
I figured that was that, but my boss told me and the other girl to start on six simple dendrobium orchid bouts. Meanwhile she threw together a ribbon wrapped bridal bouquet with some white roses that were nearly past their prime and some more dendros. Sure enough, twenty minutes later the MoB slunk back in and meekly asked if we were still able to assemble what they needed. We did. We also charged her a very large b-tch tax- ahem, rush fee.
Show Some Restraint
I am a florist and serviced a bridezilla and groom without a hitch on my end. On their end? They Had to go out of state to get married because they had protective orders against each other!
My mom and I saw a great bridezilla freak out while shopping for my wedding dress a few years back. We were in a small, local shop when another mother-daughter duo came in. The attendant who had been helping us went up to greet them. The mother said they were here to pick up her daughter's dress, so the attendant looks her name up in the computer, frowns, and says, "Ma'am, you never bought the dress."
"What are you talking about?"
The attendant shows the lady the notes on her computer screen. "You said you wanted to think about it, and asked if we could hold the dress. We held it for two weeks, but when we didn't hear back from you, we assumed you didn't want it."
"Well, we want it now."
"It's been over eight months", the attendant explained, "We sold the dress a long time ago. But I can order you another one, and have it expedited here in a few weeks."
And like a Mt. St. Helens of entitlement, the eruption began. "This is unacceptable!" The mother shrieked. "We have her alterations scheduled in two hours! The wedding is a week away! I can't believe you sold her dress!" The bride, meanwhile, is slumped against the desk and sobbing like someone killed her dog.
My mom and I are just open-mouthed staring at this point. The attendant was trying to be diplomatic, but is clearly as baffled as we are. "Ma'am, we had no way to know you wanted it. You never called. You never put down a deposit. The dress isn't yours until you pay for it."
After some more screaming from the mother and wailing from the bride, they left. The shop attendant came back over to us and I asked her, "Does that kind of thing happen a lot?"
The poor lady just deflated. "All the time."
It baffles me to this day. How do you schedule alterations on a dress that you never purchased? Why would you wait until a week before the wedding to pick up your dress? How do you make it to adulthood without knowing how basic buying and selling transactions work?
TL;DR - Turns out dress shops can't read your mind, and you need to actually pay money for a wedding dress before it is yours. Go figure.
I worked at bridal shop and I have to say that I never really had a terrible bride. It was always the moms, grandmas, sisters and friends that were terrible. Either they hated what the bride would pick out for them to wear or they would hate what she was picking out for herself to wear. We have kinda strict appointment guidelines when it comes to time and a lot of brides that would bring entourages wouldn't find a dress because everyone would bombard her with their opinions and overwhelm them.
The worst thing I've ever witnessed was when a bride that always struggled with her weight came in. She was overweight and had been working extremely hard on it over the last year. It was a slower day and we all loved her story and wanted to make that day special so we all decided to help. She finally found a dress that she loved and she started crying along with most of us. Then she looked at her mom and asked for her opinion and her mom looked at her and said "you look fat in it". We all stood there in silence and the bride lost her happiness. She asked to be assisted in taking it off and they left.
It was one of the saddest days that I had experienced there.
Don't Mess, Princess
I worked at a mom/pop shop. We had a bride who was polish, who my boss called 'polish princess', she wasn't my bride but they picked a very bad consultant for her. Made worse by the fact that this girl wanted stuff added to her dress that wasnt done by the manufacture so we had to do it all in house. To give you an example, she wanted lights, those tube lights? I think that's what they are called, all around the bottom half of a dress that we had already spliced with two different dresses.
Side note: my boss loved anything that meant money.
Anywho, we spent months fixing and refitting this dress because she not only lost 45lbs from her first time being measured, which brought her 4 dress sizes less than her original, she also got a massive boob job, bruskia. Well, after finally fitting her into her gown, on the last week she decided the lights that took our poor 70 year old seamstress two months to sew in, looked tacky. She was crying and throwing herself at her mother in a tantrum, screaming in polish all this crazy s*. She ripped the bottom of the dress and ultimately had to buy a dress from David's bridal because my boss finally got smart and kicked her out. Just a mess. She made our seamstress cry!!!!! The b-tch.
I worked at a high end bridal shop in my early 20s. One day, I had a bride-to-be shopping for a gown and she had brought her Mom, Aunt, and sister (who had just become a new mom) with her to her appointment. The sister was obviously a little jealous that attention was no longer being lavished on her and her new baby, and instead the bride was the now the center of attention. As I was fitting the bride in a $2500 Lazaro Bridal Gown, the sister decided to change her newborn's diaper in the dressing room & proceeded to hold the shit filled diaper up to the gold- hued gown and exclaim "look the colors almost match!" I excused myself from the room for fresh air and to regain composure. In my experience- the brides were rarely the problem- the family was!
most of the times...it's not the bride. It's a mother of the bride or maid of honor.
I work in alterations. Most of the time, it takes more than one appointment to get things perfect. Bride comes in for her 2nd appointment for us to do any adjustments. She needed a couple of things adjusted.
Her mother told me I ruined her daughter's marriage.
Not wedding...but marriage.
All I could think was if needing to adjust something on your dress and having to come back for one more appointment make you think someone ruined your perfect life with someone...well...good luck to her groom.
So Much Screaming
Oh I work as a wedding server, awesome job I love it. As soon as someone says bridezilla this one story where the manager of our hotel had to shut down the wedding halfway through comes to mind. This was the bridezilla of all the bridezillas I've ever seen.
There were a lot of little things leading up that were casual bridezilla until the wedding took a sharp turn. At one point she accused the wedding server staff of stealing her veil... then the manager found it in her room and also showed her the card swipes to her room proving only she had been in the room that day.
About 20 minutes later she was screaming at some poor front desk employee accusing her of stealing her wedding boots. Manager intervened and after a long talk the photographer told them he had a photo of the boots on the staircase of the church, and asked if she had worn them since... when she said no she told our place it was our job to have picked them up and made sure she had them (the church was not related to our place at all).
THEN shortly after she started opening the wedding gifts frantically inside the ballroom and screaming at anyone and everyone, guests included, saying someone stole her wedding certificate.
After that , our manager gathered the wedding staff and told us to take off our uniform jackets, Empty them in front of him, then to clock out and go home. Which we all did, none of us stole anything , and we heard next day the maid of honor had the certificate and after we left the wedding was shut down completely. Room left as is for the bride to come back to in the morning.
I used to be a "Bridal Consultant" at a retail store which basically means I helped couples scan things onto their registry, although the training for it just meant I knew how to use the scanner and the computer and my actual job had nothing to do with bridal shopping. This one couple came in to start a new registry, which quickly turned into only things the bride wanted. Anything the groom wanted to put down on the registry was deemed as "childish, stupid, ugly, unpractical, never-going-to-be-used". I was cringing during the entire appointment, she kept asking for my input/opinion on everything and I felt so bad for this guy. His bride-to-be seemed so selfish and entitled, couldn't believe the fact that he was soon to be married to this woman. The poor man just wanted a waffle maker, who doesn't want waffles?!
I work at a hotel that does a huge amount of wedding business, and we had an engagement shower with the plan being that the couple would be having the wedding with us as well. This involved the bride-to-be and to an extent, her mother.
Anyways, we knew there were going to be issues because neither the bride or groom ever smiled. She was always complaining about how he was "wishy-washy" with picking a date and he was always silent. The MOB was your stereotypical Brooklyn Jewish Mother and had her hand in EVERYTHING to make sure things were perfect for her little princess. (My experience has shown that the MOB/MOG are exponentially worse than the actual people getting married.)
Well, the engagement party starts, and everyone, except for the couple, seem to be having a great time. Then, halfway through the party, we suddenly heard the girl scream at her fiancee "WE WILL NEVER HAVE A CHRISTMAS TREE IN MY HOUSE, SO YOU CAN GET OVER IT!!!!"
And from there it devolved into a shouting match between the couple, who moved from the banquet room to the lobby so their "guests" couldn't hear the argument. (Didn't work. They heard everything.)
Apparently she was Jewish and he was Protestant and not once in their relationship had they discussed religion. They went at it on and off for two hours. She was screaming at the top of her lungs about how their (non-existent) children would be raised Jewish, and how his traditions didn't matter. Her mother standing at her side and nodding in agreement and interjecting occasionally with a "that's right" or "you tell him".
He was pleading (in a good attempt to be quiet, but was obviously frustrated) for her to at least compromise to let him at least invite his pastor from his home town for the wedding, and that their (non-existent) children could possibly do things with his parents for Christmas, even if they didn't celebrate.
The guests just kept partying, pretending nothing was happening, but you could see on all of their faces that they wanted to leave, but couldn't since they would have to pass by the couple to get to the only exit.
Only after two hours and the argument eventually devolving in to her INSISTING her children would never see a Christmas tree in their whole lives so they wouldn't be confused (good luck with that one in this country, lady) the groom finally, dejectedly said "Well then maybe this isn't going to work."
She threw her ring at him and said, (I swear to god) "THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET ME MAKE YOU PROPOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!" She then changed her mind, picked up the ring and said "Whatever. I'm keeping this." and stormed off. Her mother looked at her ex-potential-son-in-law, told him he was an idiot for letting her baby go, and went after her.
I've NEVER seen a banquet room clear of people so fast. Within fifteen minutes, everyone was gone, and it was a ghost town, and from the looks of it, everyone took their "Gifts" with them.
Worse still, it was the former-bride's family who had hosted and were staying at the hotel, so we spend the next two days "commiserating" with them about how awful the groom was as they moved their daughter out of his apartment.
Dude dodged a bullet.
Don't Cheat Your Guests
Restaurant manager story.
The wedding dinner was on a Sunday so instead of the usual 1 manager on, we had the banquet coordinator come on for a few hours to make sure everyone was happy. They were a rich couple and we wanted more of their bssiness. Their menu was $119 a person and they had $80 bottles of red on the table.
So guests start to arrive and order obviously start ordering drinks. At this point bride and mother see this and approach the head server. They tell her that everyone except the head table are to get separate bills. That they are not planning on paying for anything but what's at the head table. Server finds us, tells us what's happening and banquet manager heads over to figure out what's going on. Seems that the bride and mother decided that their guests should have to pay, and they didn't want to be the bad guys so they expected us to have to tell the guests. They also decided that since they are their guests at their wedding, they will drink and eat what they are eating.
We tell the people that have already arrived, half of them laugh thinking it's a joke, once we told them the truth, they laughed and left. My job became to stay at the front and tell all the people arriving for the dinner that they are going to be responsible for their whole bill, and what the costs were.
Final guest count was 20 people. Most left once I told them what the costs were. We ended up threatening legal action against them since they signed the banquet sheet stating that they agreed on 60 dinners. Best part was they paid the full 60 dinners, plus gratuity, and only had 20 people there because they wanted to save some money.
Other end of the spectrum was a Muslim wedding. We had to even cover the wine in glass storage in their wedding dinner room. The parents who were paying the bill felt since it's their money, it's their type of wedding. Except the bride and groom showed up the day before, left a credit card and told us to have an open bar ready for any of their guests. Alot of people went upstairs to the bathroom that day which oddly enough was right beside the bar
I worked management at a resort in a popular tourist town. When weddings are booked at our venue with the event coordinator we can hold certain number of rooms for guests attending. A manager was always required to check in the bridal couple and I had been given a heads up by the coordinator on Bridezilla.
They wanted a room on the highest floor and closer to the beach, they were booked into the Honeymoon Suite. 3rd floor, ocean views. Nope, she wanted higher and closer. Had an absolute meltdown at the front desk when I explained there was nothing higher... Or closer.
A colleague of mine ran for the event coordinator when she started screaming at me and her husband to be. He was very apologetic and trying to calm her down. She was placated and sent off with keys, less than 30 minutes later she was back and demanding we empty the rooms next to and below her. Honey those rooms cost $640 a night and we are fully booked!
I was lucky enough to not be working the night of the wedding but I heard all about her abusing the wait staff, kicking the band out for playing a song she didnt like and the screaming match she got into with her mother in law. What a peach!
All up the wedding was about $40,000 and she made everyone miserable. The groom left out front desk staff and box of wine to apologise for her behaviour.
Not the only Bridezilla, but definitely the craziest I had
All That Work
Worked for a wedding photographer here.
Wonderful couple, seemed made in heaven. Their wedding album WITH OUT pics cost 2k. Thing was made from mirrored glass, weighed a ton. It was my job to order the 60 - 8x10's the bride wanted used. This album had no protective sleeves, so every single pic had to be sprayed with a chemical coating and left to dry, in dust free area. If it did not dry with a smooth, dust free finish, I had to remove the chemical coating and try again. I spent most of that week, in a tiny closet sized room, in full respirator mask and protective gloves & Eyewear, spraying those damn pics. But my God, I have to say, it was the best job ever! When done, this couple spent over $5,000 on that one album....It was GORGEOUS!....and they divorced before the year was up. DUH!
The Cake That Goes Wrong
Baker here. I wasn't present for the freak out, but it was my fault so...
A few months back, I had a bride who wanted a Navy to white ombre cake made with white sponge. Now, dark, rich colors like that in white cake f-cking suck. they always taste terrible because they have so much gel coloring in them to get them right. However, you can do it, if they're willing to have the dark layers be chocolate. Navy is especially easy, thanks to blue velvet. I tell her this when we're planning. "But I want white cake!" I tell her I'll do all but the last few in white sponge. She agrees, and I make the damn thing and drop it off.
I come back to pick up the staging stuff the next day, only to find my whole f-cking cake sitting there.
Apparently when they cut into the thing and fed it to each other, she freaked out over it being chocolate, and refused to let any of the cake be served. Apparently she forgot that she had agreed to have the bottom tier have two layers of blue velvet, so she threw a massive f-cking temper tantrum over 'the cake being wrong' and how I ruined her wedding, then locked herself in the bridal suite. if she wouldn't have been a little psychopath and let the staff cut the cake like they should have, she would've seen that 90% of the cake was white sponge like she wanted.
Can't You Change Those?!
Wedding band member here.
Had a bride flip her sh-t at me and my band mates because our instruments weren't white or salmon coloured to fit in with the decorations and she was saying we would ruin the photographs. Even though I was playing during the reception and all the photos were already taken.
A sunburst jazz bass, blue Stratocaster and a red drum set aren't going to ruin your pictures darling.
Wedding coordinator here! I've found the mom's are usually worse than the brides. I worked a wedding this past summer with a ridiculous momzilla. During the rehearsal, she handed me the box of decorations and said "don't you dare make this look tacky". On the day of the wedding, she arrived and came up to ask me where the wedding programs were. I told her there weren't any programs in any of the boxes and she proceeded to b-tch me out for losing them and then decided that I stole them. She also asked that we build a water station for the guests, but instructed that she didn't want the guests to have access to it until after the ceremony. It was 90 degrees that day and the ceremony was outside so that did not go over well. And when the guests complained that they were thirsty and we weren't letting them go to the water station, she told them how horrible we were and made a big deal out of opening the water station early, like she was the hero. Thank god they only booked the venue for the ceremony so she was only my problem for about an hour.
The next day my boss handed me an email the momzilla sent her. She wrote about how I lost the programs but then in the same sentence said she found the programs in her hotel room later that night and made a comment about how I should've gone to her hotel and gotten them. She also complained about how I wouldn't give her guests water and how the photographer was the worst person she's ever worked with. She actually wrote "don't bother remembering her name, she'll never work in his town again" about the photographer. Her letter ended with her complimenting the venue space and saying something along the lines of "I think I would be a great addition to your team of event coordinators! Let me know when I can start!"
B-tch was blatantly trying to take my job. The worst part is that my boss actually hired her. Needless to say, I quit working at that venue.
This isn't the worst story I have, but it's one of the most memorable.
I worked as a wedding planner and coordinator and one bride stands out to me because she was so inconsistent with all the vendors. She was a complete sweetheart to me during the planning phase and I never saw any of the crazy until the day of the wedding. It was honestly like a Jekyll/Hyde moment.
She wanted a big wedding, around 300 people, and spent a lot of money on the venue and food and wanted the best for everything. No complaints about paying for it either, never asked for discounts or anything like that. And since she wanted the best and seemed to have a really large budget, I referred her to a popular baker for the cake. I let her handle the logistics for the cake since I've worked with this baker before and never had any problems. I figured they would do the standard cake tasting, pick a design with the baker, and I would see a gorgeous masterpiece on the day of the wedding.
Well, that didn't really work out. For some reason she didn't want to tell the baker that it was for a wedding. I'm guessing she read that you can save money by ordering a regular cake because some vendors will automatically add an extra charge if it's for a wedding. (By the way, this is true to some extent but the extra charge truly is there for a reason. Whenever something is for a wedding the vendor puts in much more care, stresses about the timing, execution, etc. way more than usual, and often times will go all out and use premium materials or add upgrades. Not all of us are just adding extra charges for no reason.) Anyways, she decided she didn't want to pay for a wedding cake so she told the baker it was for a birthday party. The baker asked how many people the cake would need to serve and she said "around 50". She also didn't want to pay the delivery fee so she had her sister pick up the cake on the morning of the wedding and bring it to the event.
At this point it's important to mention that we live in Texas and this is a summer wedding. By the time the cake got to the venue (about 6 hours after it was picked up from the bakery), it didn't look all that great anymore. Some of the decorations had melted, the cake got a little banged up in the car ride and there was icing on the inside of the box, the entire cake was sagging on one side. It was also way too small for a wedding of her size. I saw it and it looked like a complete disaster. But at this point we're about an hour away from the start of the wedding and there's no possible way to fix this. The bride comes into the reception room with her makeup all done and sees the cake and completely flips out. Screaming, crying, throwing things, collapsing on the floor. Complete meltdown. Threatens to cancel the whole wedding if we can't fix it. We try to calm her down as much as we can and grab the makeup artist before she leaves and ask if she can help fix the bride's makeup, which is a mess now. The bride sees herself in the mirror and has another meltdown because she ruined her hair and makeup and now wants to have the whole thing re-done. After she gets everything done to perfection again, we're about an hour behind schedule. I let the guests come inside the reception room to wait because it seemed cruel to force everyone to sit outside in 100 degree heat, but when she saw that everyone was inside she had another meltdown. She spent the entire wedding sulking with a scowl on her face, and refused to take any pictures with people. Her new husband kept coming over to hug her and try to cheer her up and she would either yell at him or give him the silent treatment. Most of the guests left very early because the atmosphere felt so uncomfortable. So pretty much a waste of the $200,000 budget for a lavish wedding, all because she wanted to save a couple hundred bucks on the cake.
It's All In The Sewing
Retired Master Seamstress checking in. Not Bridezilla but Momzilla. I was making her daughter a custom bias cut gown and had limited fitting time because the bride lived one state over. Now bias cut gowns are the devil to begin with. We (mom and I) would work on details between fittings. I would say our working relationship got very frosty. Each time the bride came for a fitting she lost weight. Tape measures don't lie. And she was not a big girl to begin with. Mom would scream that her daughter did not lose any weight. After the third fitting, third fight and the third rebuild of a very complicated gown, I finished it and told them to take the gown and do what they wanted with it. It was gorgeous but hung loose. The girl lost over 3" over the course of 7-8 weeks. I lost hours of my life, and the $$ for the work. The deposit took care of the materials ($140 per yard silk, venice lace), so there is that.
Whiskey To The Nines
Bridal consultant here! My most memorable appointment was a party that showed up completely sh-ts-to-the-wind HAMMERED. It wasn't unusual for bridal parties to have a little "tailgate" style party in our parking lot before coming into our store. Often they'd have mimosa's or a shot or two to loosen up before the scary gown search. This party must have finished a full bottle of whiskey between the five of them. They didn't appear too sloppy when we first got started but about half an hour into the appointment it was pretty obvious that they were way to drunk to be in the setting they we're in. I had to prop the bride up with her nose in the corner of her fitting room to lace her corsets because she couldn't stand, and each time we stepped out onto the stage the bridesmaids would scream, Beatlemania style, until they were red in the face. Eventually my manager came to me and said, very sternly, "Sell this girl and get. them. out of here." The appointment ended when she fell for a gown $700 over budget, her drunkest bridesmaid swiped her own credit card to cover it, and then one of them (not sure which) sprayed a brown bodily fluid of some kind over our ENTIRE toliet.
Photographer. During more than a dozen years in this business, I've had almost nothing but fantastic clients, real sweethearts, and consider myself lucky.
The exception was a New York bride who was pissed because it rained cats and dogs on her wedding day (not sure if she understood I wasn't in charge of making the weather). She had wanted to take golf carts to the beach with the wedding party to do fun photos there, but that clearly didn't happen. Her foul mood spoiled a bit of the wedding. Good thing everyone else still appeared to be having a good time regardless. She managed to stay (barely) polite to her vendors, but weeks later unleashed on me because I had delivered, among I don't know how many hundreds of photos, two shots of the DJ. She calculated that those photos, based on my fee, had cost her $14, IIRC, and was almost comically displeased about that. She also flipped her wig because, she told me angrily, she'd observed me eating a few canapés during the reception --- and at three dollars apiece, how did I not understand those were not intended for the hired help!
I offered to refund her $23 and inquired where she wanted me to send the check. At that point she calmed down a bit, possibly realizing how ridiculous she was being, and then volunteered that maybe she was being a bit irrational at the moment ... because she was pregnant. Of course, I offered my congratulations. She grudgingly told me to keep the check.
I did put a baby gift (a silver rattle) in the mail to her a few weeks later. I hope she and her husband and the baby lived happily ever after!
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.