Though weddings are a glorious event and a most sacred moment in the lives of two souls, they are also high high stress and chaotic. The behind the scenes of weddings make legendary stories. As a cater waiter I once overheard the bride's sister tell the groom she was pregnant, and he responded "Don't worry, I'll pay for it. We'll go after I'm back from Maui. Next time don't miss a pill." Then they kissed. Chile... I was sent! I told EVERYBODY who worked there! We spent the rest of the evening placing bets on how long the "union" would last. And my story is only the tip of the iceberg, often, its the wedding workers who can tell if this is a happily ever after.
Redditor u/viratrim wanted all the wedding planners out there to dish and serve up some tea about unions they've witnessed by asking.... Wedding photographers/planners/etc., what's your biggest "this marriage isn't gonna last" story?
The Boca Storywedding dress friends GIF Giphy
Shooting a very fancy wedding at the Boca Resort in Boca Raton. Groom - 3x divorced, Looks like George Hamilton, very wealthy, recently a great grandfather.
When asked where he'd be going for the honeymoon, he said "eh, she travels plenty on my dollar. But maybe we'll go somewhere later this year."
Bride - Less than half his age, gorgeous. While alone outside the reception before entrances, when asked by a friend how it felt to be Mrs. ____, she said "oh it's fine. It's whatever."
Notable quote from a guest I overhead "This is disgusting"
I'm sure they're fine.
The Wet Groom
Bride asked me to please get a few shots up ASAP for Facebook, which I did that night. Received a 1AM phone call from the groom FURIOUS that I had "made him look bad" by posting pictures where his "hair looked all sweaty."
This was an outdoor wedding. In Louisiana. On July 4th. At noon.
They didn't last a year.
Jerry Springer Style
Photographer here. I've seen some things, let me tell you.
- Christmas time wedding. Groom's family decides they hate the bride's family during the reception. There was a lot of barefoot dancing going on at the time so the groom's family took the glass Christmas ornaments that were the wedding favors off the tables and threw them on the dance floor. Of course they shattered and everyone got their feet cut up. This couple had been together for 5 years before getting engaged. The bride got served divorce papers less than 6 months after the wedding. She was stunned and had no idea her husband wanted a divorce. The whole thing was so freaking sad. I think about her a lot still.
- Bride punched out her sister in law at the wedding reception. They spent the rest of the evening hurtling random insults at each other throughout the wedding events. Since the wedding was at a remote campground the SIL did not leave. chaosisapony
Never invite an Ex....vince vaughn party time GIF Giphy
One wedding I bar tended about 7 years ago, the best man was giving his toast and made a joke about the size of the groom's penis. One of the male guests yelled out "She's missing my extra 4 inches!" That led to a very awkward silence, and a couple groomsmen had to hold the groom back. I later found out the guy who yelled out was an ex-boyfriend of the bride.
Groom passed out not once but twice during the ceremony. Like standing there... gee this guy isn't looking well, BAM. Groom on the deck.
Smelling salts, we get him up. Get him some water and orange juice... get through the vows and yep... here he goes again, not as bad.
How bout we just sit down on the steps and finish the ring ceremony?
The whole time his brother, the best man has that look like "I really should just scoop and run with him out of here...."
The poor bride has the worst look on her face like OMG what do I do?
6 months later, it was over.
I photographed a wedding and I was working with the groomsmen and groom. It was after the ceremony and the bride went off to go fix her makeup. I was probably about 70 percent done with the men photos when the bride starts screaming and crying asking why she isn't in any of them. I explained that this was the guy's shots and that the the bride and bridesmaid shots were up next. She did not like that answer.
She demanded that she be in their shots too. These kind of photos were the ones where the groomsmen are doing the goody things with the groom. She then proceeds to take my camera and throw it on the ground. Shattering the lens. She then cries harder and the groom just walks away. I was so petrified. RIP Canon 6D you will always be missed.
Now THIS is some tea!!!!
I went to deliver a cake, and met the wedding planner, looking completely frazzled. I've worked with the woman A LOT and we're good work friends at this point, even though were technically in different fields. She always has her stuff together, so I asked her what was wrong. She tells me the groom's boyfriend showed up to confess to the bride that he'd been with the groom longer than she had and they were in love, but the groom got to him first. They were currently sobbing in the grooms suite telling each other they they loved one another and the groom saying he'd never love her like he loved him.
She was running interference and trying to keep the bride happy and the Mothers both out so those two could figure their crap out before she had to destroy any relationships, especially because she got the impression no one knew the groom was gay and they were on the down low, super religious hipster-y types.
The wedding, somehow, went on. I saw a few pictures, since the bride included them on her review of my bakery. Groom looks miserable while she looks radiant and happy.
The wedding planner told me about a year ago that she got a call from the groom's boyfriend to arrange his wedding and he was marrying another dude who basically worshiped him, which brought up the first couple, who didn't even manage a year, judging from bride's Facebook. shocking, I know.
No Tequilatequila GIF Giphy
I was the wedding DJ for a couple with large Italian and Irish families. Knew things would get wild when they did Patron shot toasts instead of the traditional champagne. Had an idea it wasn't going to last when the cops shut the wedding down after an ambulance carted a girl off on a stretcher who got punched in the face by some dude.
Just say no.....
Bride pouted through all of her photos because I couldn't magically make 2 hours of photography happen in a 35 minutes we had. She legit wanted 4 locations, all family formals, and wedding party shots done in just over a half hour. From all that I saw at the wedding, it seems like she doesn't get told "no" a lot. She was a nightmare to work with and the venue's coordinator literally did a happy dance once it was over.
PukeParis Hilton Reaction GIF Giphy
I helped cater a wedding once and was slicing up the cake the bride and groom just cut for serving. The groom asked me if he could lick the icing off my fingers, with his new bride standing right beside him. I picked my jaw up off the floor and hid in the kitchen for the rest of the wedding.
The Buddy Plan
I'm not a professional wedding planner but I was helping a buddy plan his wedding. I used to be a chef that did event planning. I called him to ask some questions. He told me to call his wife because he was on a date. Wtf? So I called his wife and told her he was on a date and told me to call her. I don't know what happened after that. Neither of them have spoken to me since.
Sorry, not sorry. He wasn't a close friend anyway. He asked me for help and I guess he thought I would lie for him. I hope they didn't get married. I feel really bad for that young woman but, it would have ended worse if I didn't say anything.
Tossing Saladfood fight family GIF by The Jerry Springer Show Giphy
This will last 5 months or 50 years. The bride and groom started a food fight during the reception at a military wedding.
I play in a wedding/event band, and we were playing a friend of our's wedding.
I remember watching the ceremony from afar, and the whole thing was weirdly depressing. Their ceremony featured friends and family giving speeches, and all of the speeches (a truly comical amount) and the vows were all about how hard marriage is.
Nothing positive at all. It was hilarious to me.
Later that evening I found out the groom confided in one of our bandmates that the part he was looking forward to the most in the day was hearing us play the reception. Truly ridiculous haha.
I edit the videos. I was told by my boss that there was no sparkler exit for this wedding (and to cut most of the ending) because the groom was too drunk and the bride was crying. But IMO I think the groom took something, cause he looked high. Anyway, I don't have a huge amount of confidence in the longevity of that one.
During a wedding music planning session with the bride, groom, and their mothers, a tense moment occurred that didn't bode well for long-term harmony in this couple's relationship.
For the wedding processional, the mother of the bride insisted on having "Here Comes the Bride," just as had been played at her wedding years ago.
The groom, however, wanted "Trumpet Voluntary," as had been used at his mother's wedding.
All 4 of them then started arguing amongst themselves, each determined to prevail.
To bring peace to the situation, I simply said, "How about a compromise? I'll play "Here Comes the Bride" for the Processional and "Trumpet Voluntary" for the Recessional.
They all just looked in silence, then said, "Why, yes."
Poking HolesEwww GIF by memecandy Giphy
The bridesmaid's speech included the phrase "poke a hole in the condom" and the bride's ex's name. I got the groom's face as he turned to his one year old child sitting in the granny's lap.
Made the mistake of planning my little sister's wedding in 2018. She didn't let anyone get to know the groom before her wedding. She was specifically keeping the grooms age a secret, but of course the information came out a few days before the ceremony. He was the one to convince her the secrecy was necessary. She was 24 he was 49. They had nothing in common and it was clear she was just the trophy wife.
Within a year there were big secrets that came to light. A secret house, bank accounts, a second home in another country, and a secret phone were all discovered. They didn't last long for obvious reasons. I feel bad for my parents that paid for everything.
This was brought up in a past asking of this question and not me, but whenever the bride and groom are at that moment where they cut the cake and have the ability to smash cake in each other's face. It is not doing it or not doing it, but when one of them decides to do it as a surprise on the other.
If they are not communicating whether this is acceptable before the wedding or know the other person well enough to know if they should do this in front of all their family then likely there will be issues in the future.
Ahhh. South Dakota
My cousin got married. Came to find out he knocked up another chick and told her to get an abortion, go away, etc. She showed up with her friend at the wedding reception 8 1/2 months pregnant, hammered drunk and wearing a wedding gown and veil. She hung out for a couple hours drinking and laughing at everyone. Ahh, South Dakota.
FrownsMelania Trump Smile GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
Not me, but a friend was the photographer of a wedding I attended. I later learned the bride was pissed the whole day. Only 2 of the 1600+ photos were the bride actually smiling. She was 18 and the groom was 26. Lasted about 1 year. :/
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People hard up for cash will do anything. But what about the other way around?
There are a ton of jobs or favors that don't require much skill, experience, or labor, and people who are fortunate enough to get hired walk away with a king's ransom.
Looking for those kinds of "jobs," however, is like finding a teardrop in the ocean.
"What's the dumbest thing you were paid to do and how much were you paid?"
Good luck finding these well-paying tasks.
"Had a WFH gig working sort of as a personal assistant for a rich guy on the opposite coast from me. I did all kinds of wacky sh*t for him. For example, one time I had to break up with my boss's girlfriend because he was too wimpy to do it himself. That was literally my job."
"One day, I bought him a new pickup truck. Meaning, I negotiated the deal and paid for the truck with his credit card. All in all, I'd say the process probably took about two weeks, for which I was paid my usual wage at six hours per day. No big deal."
"Somehow, his dad found out about the new truck and he decided he wanted a new pickup truck too. He called me about a week after I bought the truck for my boss and said he'd pay me $2,000 to buy a truck for him. I called the same dealership back, spoke to the same salesman, told him what was up and basically said give me another truck, same price as before. The salesman was only too happy to comply."
"It took ten minutes to make the phone call and then a day or two to get the title and other paperwork sorted out. So, depending on how you look at it, I made $2,000 for just ten minutes worth of 'work.'"
"Somehow, my boss's rich friend found out about all this. He decided he wanted a new SUV. 'OhYeahThrowItAway, you have to buy it for me!' I told him the last time I bought someone a vehicle, I got paid $2,000. The friend was basically like F'k it, I'll pay you $3,000, just get it for me' and then he emailed me his wish list."
"That deal took a little longer, maybe two weeks."
"I made $5k extra in just two months buying vehicles for lazy (or dumb) rich people."
Staying Out Of The Picture
"I was paid $300 to move my car for a movie that was filming by my apartment."
Pack It Up
"Got paid 10k to leave an apartment because it was sold and new owner wanted to move in. I was tenant (renter) under previous owner. I had 4 months left in my rental contract. This was in Spain (Barcelona)."
"I was flown to Paris to do a compliance audit, the systems weren't set up for the audit, couldn't get access so spent the week being taken to restaurants and shopping. On 1 of the days and at the last minute the company decided to send me to London for a meeting, literally just to meet people. I missed the Eurostar because I forgot my passport (totally blanked that I was entering another country), they had to rebook the Eurostar. Nothing was achieved out of this trip. No audit was completed. Nothing came of the meeting. The cost to the company 25k+ for me to do nothing for a week. Corporate money is ridiculous money."
Not much labor was required for these so-called "jobs."
Ten-Minutes Of "Work"
"I used to work for a PR agency. Every month one of our clients wanted a handful of photos re-sized for their website; nothing fancy, just setting the width to 500px in Windows Photo Manager."
"It was maybe ten minutes of work every month, but the contract said the minimum amount of time we would charge them for was one day - and this was for the full team too, not just me. It must have cost them several hundred pounds every month."
"I showed the client how to do it several times, and explained that they could save a lot of money doing it themselves. They didn't seem to mind."
"In the end I made sure I got it in writing that I'd informed them of their options and let them get on with it."
Thank You, Goodbye
"$175 to do some kind of user study at Netflix, I show up in the lobby and then they go, 'actually we got the data we needed from the studies earlier today, you're free to go!'. Still got paid!"
"I did an event for a national association for deaf people at which they did every presentation in ASL. I am an audio engineer, who specializes in live sound and concerts. I did nothing for 5 days of show, $450 a day."
Paid To Play
"I got asked to do 2 hours of barrier watch (Guarding a barrier ribbon while a crew did x rays inside a power plant). This was asked last minute after a 12 hour shift so the bonuses of staying happening to be a Sunday, etc I was being paid $110 to stand and play on my phone and make sure sure nobody tried to pass all the DO NOT ENTER DANGER DANGER signs during a time of day with minimal personnel."
"I rented my chicken to a photographer for fifty bucks."
Gotta Have Wendy's
"I was driving for uber. Picked up a bunch of drunks at like 2 AM. They were like 'Yo we gotta grab some Wendy' I go 'I'm sorry this is my busy period' they go 'Can we bribe you?' I go 'Absolutely you can bribe me.'"
"One the guys said I'll give you $100...I was shocked it was that high, another guy said '$150' and finally his wife said 'F'k it I want Wendy $200 and we buy you Wendy too.'"
"I finally said yes, FYI I hadn't said yes yet because the reality is $20-$40 would have gotten me to stop at Wendy."
"So there I sat at Wendy as those 3 drunks bought me wendy and paid me $200."
"One time I was at this super fancy dinner party. I'm talking servers and everything, I was in a freaking tux! It was outside and catered by a professional bbq company. I mean these guys had won international competitions. Well get this, they were double booked and didn't show. The other servers didn't know how to grill, and this totally smokin server in her 30s is just staring at the grill like a deer in the headlights. Well I don't want to be a hero but I ask if I can help. The entire staff spend the rest of the night bringing me drinks as I make this bbq and NOBODY realizes the award winning chefs didn't show up!"
Where Do We Apply?
"Ok this wasn't a job or anything.... But I got 10$ to eat half a watermelon."
Some opportunities present themselves.
When I was a kid, I hung out at a Japanese summer festival booth where you roll a bowling ball on a track that had two hills. The objective was to push the ball hard enough to get it over the first hill but not too hard to get it over the second hill.
I was fascinated with the challenge and stayed there for a long time as my parents were over by the food booths with their friends.
It was a slow day, and the dude working the booth wanted to peace out for a bit, so he offered to pay me $50 to "hang out" in his stead.
Of course, I said "sure."
No one ever came, and I earned fifty bucks rolling bowling balls for an hour. Was it the dumbest thing I ever did for money? Maybe, but I laughed all the way to the piggy bank that day.
That guy really must have despised his post enough to give a twelve-year-old kid $50.
Everyone talks about how the 20s are supposed to be the time of our lives. And that's largely true. But it's not all wine and roses.
Among all the freedom and youthful exuberance, so many people spend that decade struggling through the chaos of having absolutely no idea what their passion is.
And when we've internalized the desire to find an occupation that aligns with our values, sounds cool to talk about, and provides us with existential fulfillment, it can be difficult to identify the perfect fit.
So we hum along rather aimlessly.
Thankfully, some people do find their vocation and hunker down. But for others, it takes a little longer.
Perhaps struggling to locate that ideal passion, Redditor wibly_wobly_kid asked:
"People who discovered their passion at a later stage of life, what is it and how did you figure it out?"
Many people talked about making a career switch when they least expected. For the longest time, they new they didn't enjoy their work, but they didn't know what to do instead.
Hiding In Plain Sight
"I went to college twice in my early 20s for journalism and communications, but never graduated. I spent the rest of my 20s in a dead end food service job, miserable and angry at myself. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life"
"My extended family has lots of little ones (cousins having cousins) and every time there was a family get together, I always found myself playing with and entertaining the kids. One day, my uncle pointed out how good I was with kids, and did I ever consider working with them? I laughed it off but later thought 'hey, I have nothing better going on. What's the harm in researching a bit?' "
"I found out I could become an early childhood educator, working in daycares or kindergarten classes. So I applied to a couple of colleges and got in right away (applied on a Monday and got accepted the Friday). I quit my dead-end job and focused entirely on school. I made the dean's list all 4 semesters (something I have never done), and aced all my classes."
"I had a placement at a daycare/before and after school card place, and they hired me right after I finished my placement. So now I'm working there and happier than I ever was in my 20s"
Never Too Late
"Law. I was 45 when I went back to school. I'd worked blue collar jobs all my life, was a high school dropout. My daughter started taking paralegal classes and I thought, 'I could do that.' "
"So I got my GED and signed up for a 2-year paralegal certificate program through the local community college. Fell in love with law. Also discovered I was good at it. I had several professors who were lawyers tell me I'd be wasted as a paralegal and should go to law school."
"So I transferred to a 4-year school. Worked full time through undergrad and graduated with honors. Got into law school. I graduated law school at 55, oldest in my class. But I'd gone from being a high school dropout to a lawyer in just 10 years."
"Passed the California bar first try and I've been a public defender ever since, which is the only thing I ever wanted to do with it. I'm 60 now but I'm healthy and energetic and have a lot of years left. I love what I do, I'm very good at it, and it's the best move I ever made."
Every Week an Achievement
"Was 39 when I took a temp job in a social services type industry. Just basic stuff."
"Realised after a couple of years that I'd circled back to my idealistic 17yo self's plan for my career. Spent the previous 20 working sh** jobs I hated."
"Turns out it's really important to do something that aligns with your values. Finish the week feeling like I've contributed to society, rather than working to screw people for money."
Others discussed the passions they've discovered outside of their working life. These won't bring home any income, but their importance to life satisfaction cannot be understated.
"My dad discovered his life's biggest passion at 67. Mountain climbing. Serious mountaineering."
"He climbed Kilimanjaro and Whitney just months apart."
Plenty More Shredding In Store
"I started Rollerskating (on ramps) just before I turned 40 , it's never too late to start, you just need more safety gear :)"
"I've been doing it for years now I'm in my mid 40s and still rollin. It makes me a bit sad I didn't start when I was younger, but I reckon i've got another ten years left in me."
Moving the Needle On Women's Pockets
"Sewing/tailoring clothes. On a whim I took a class at a local community center and got hooked. After learning some basics in the class and following some YouTube videos I can make a passable pair of pants/trousers and basic shirts. I'm lucky that my local library had sewing machines you could check out so I didn't need to commit any real money early on."
"The best thing to come out of learning this new skill was making a pair of pants with actual pockets for my wife. Guys, you have not seen joy until you see your wife get a pair of functional custom pants with human-sized pockets. I thought her head was going to explode she was so happy."
Keep an Ear Out for Jingles
"I always wanted to learn an instrument that wasn't academic related."
"Over COVID lockdown I picked up the guitar."
"I picked it up pretty quick. So I learned the drums."
"Now I'm finishing building a music studio. I wanna write commercial jingles and just throw a bunch of sh** online for fun"
Unexpected, But Sounds Awesome
"I'm 31, but one year ago I discovered camels. Now I own three. I love them 🥰" -- ZhenHen
"I assume you are not talking about cigarettes, so how does one acquire not only one but three camels? Where do you live? How much did they cost? I'm very intrigued." -- dufresne90
"When you're into camels, every day is Hump Day." -- HolIerer
And a few put a finer point on the nature of that work vs. hobbies dynamic. They assured that one's professional career doesn't necessarily have to provide all the fulfillment they're looking for.
Sometimes, we just need to punch the clock.
Earning Free Time
"PSA: you don't have to be passionate about your job. Your passion can be a hobby you do in your free time. I don't think I will ever find a vocational passion."
"Used to think I was broken because of that but really there is no requirement to be head over heels about what puts money on the table and food in the pocket!"
Career's Moving, Still Painting
"Late 40s here. Got a book called Learn to Draw in 30 Days about 4 years ago. Then about 3 years ago I heard about #the100daychallenge where the goal is to create art every day for 100 days. I never stopped and made it a goal to hit 1000 days."
"In that time, I won contests, got about two hundred commissions, raised over $5000 for a charity, and had a great time. When I hit the 1000 days back in December, I decided to go back to college and get an art degree. I signed up for classes and talked with my manager at work to see how much they would pay for college, she was excited that I was going to get a business degree and said she'd work on getting all of the classes covered."
"Free college became too tempting to pass up so now I'm planning on getting the business degree and then on to law school because they'll pay for that too. I just finished my first semester with a 4.0 and I'm on day 1136 of my non-stop painting journey."
So if you're still looking around for your passion and feeling discouraged, rest assured that it might come your way when you least expect it.
And life is long, my friends.
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Don't disturb my beauty sleep! That's the one rule I have––and thankfully I live alone, so there isn't anyone to bother me, which is fabulous. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to getting woken up in the middle of the night. The worst way I can think of off the top of my head? The time a drunk guy wandered into my friend's yard and started banging on the window while I was trying to sleep. It was 3 a.m. The incident also gave me the fright of my life!
People told us about the experiences that yanked them out of dreamland after Redditor GratefulD_86 asked the online community,
"What is the worst way you've been woken up?"
"By raw sewage pouring through my ceiling (in my bedroom) from my upstairs neighbor.
He partied and ripped the toilet out of the floor, then continued using it. Took maintenance almost 16 hours to show up and turn off the flow."
"I literally didn't even know..."
"Cops beating on my door to search my house for someone I was hiding. I literally didn't even know the person."
Terrifying. This could have ended very badly.
"Cops busted down my door..."
"Cops busted down my door to take me to jail for having meth except. They had the wrong house."
"Neighbor decided to hang shelves in her bathroom after midnight and drilled into our shared wall. Scared the crap out of me."
The walls do indeed have ears.
"The phone woke me up..."
"The phone woke me up a little after midnight. I was informed that my mother had died. It was not totally unexpected. Her health had been declining.
I still dread hearing the phone ring late at night."
"A cockroach entering my mouth on my first day of camp."
"Police department knocking..."
"Police department knocking on my door at 2 a.m. saying the meth lab across the street might blow up so we needed to get out ASAP."
Is this a deleted episode of Breaking Bad?
"My cats were chasing each other..."
"My cats were chasing each other and one ran across my face while I was sleeping. The scratches were pretty bad all across one side of my face. It was the day before my senior prom too, so I ended up having a scratched-up face for that. I still have a scar right by my eye."
Cats are always at their most unpredictable very late at night!
"My Dad would keep a bag of marbles in the freezer. If you didn't wake up the first time, he dumped them into your bed."
"The neighbor in the building across from us..."
"Glass shattering. Lived in a 6 story apartment building. The neighbor in the building across from us was having some kind of psychotic break and was throwing everything he could get his hands on off his balcony. He was aiming for the windows of other apartments. We were far enough away to not get hit but watching that go down was not super fun."
We don't envy anyone of these people. Hopefully their lives have been filled with plenty of glorious, uninterrupted sleep since.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love food! Maybe a little too much. It's been an especially amorous relationship over this pandemic. And I know I'm not alone.
All of our palettes are tuned to our own personal tastes. And sometimes certain items and combinations of tastes can leave others less than enticed.
I've lost track of all the side-eye I've gotten when I declare how much I enjoy PINEAPPLE on pizza. I said it. I meant it. Fight me. Let's discuss who else has eclectic tastes.
Redditor u/CatVideoFest wanted to discuss the mixing of certain ingredients that don't leave the best taste in one's mouth by asking:
Food is for survival. That was the plan. But over the years it has become somewhat of a way of life. Some of the most annoying people are foodies. They get so uppity about the preferences of others. Like, let me just enjoy what I enjoy.
Mom No!Mom Smile GIFGiphy
"I don't like my mom's cooking."
"Livestock have refused to eat my mother's cooking. She's a terror in the kitchen."
Take them OUT!!
"I hate walnuts in baked goods. It tastes like wood shavings and completely ruins the flavor."
"I love walnuts but I feel this way about raisins in baked goods, raisins are fine by themselves but not in sweets, I once ordered cinnamon rolls at Hardee's and bit into it and found out there were raisins in it, and I was grossed out and didn't want to eat it. At least freakin' McDonald's serves real cinnamon rolls without freakn' raisins!"
The Fart Ingredient
"I don't like kidney beans except in chili."
Oh thew Crunch...
"Pickles and onion make the best sandwich. I make most of my own pickles from stuff I grow or get from local farms in the fall, but I responded to another comment with two different heinous concoctions I enjoy. Crunchy, salty, sour. I really like pickles and onions to begin with."
"I use more than pickled cucumber though. Like the last one I made, I used garlic naan, mayo, red onion, scallions, pickled garlic, green olives, Kalamata olives, garlic dill cucumber, and green beans. Shallot, sour pickled onion, sweet pickled cucumbers, and sushi ginger on sprouted 14 grain bread is also also a favorite of mine."
No Sizzlebacon GIFGiphy
"I do not like bacon."
Who doesn't like bacon? That seems like a sacrilege. Right? But to each their own. Though I will never understand not loving walnuts in comfort food. Y'all need more self love.
Love the Big M
"Fast food tastes amazing, yeah its unhealthy as hell but don't you sit there and lie and say it tastes bad."
Blasphemy!golden girls flirting GIF by HULUGiphy
"Cheesecake is disgusting."
Too Many Legs
"Lobsters and crabs are giant insects."
"I don't really think that's that controversial, in my area of the world we even call this creature a 'Moreton Bay Bug' even though some fisheries try to give it the more appealing name of 'flathead lobster'."
"Boneless wings are vastly superior to bone-in wings. I think bone-in wings are a ripoff because when you get half a pound of them, part of that half-pound is inedible. It's like if you ordered a quarter-pound cheeseburger, but the restaurant considers the weight of the plate to be part of that quarter-pound and you end up with just a slider. Just give me some damn meat."
The Slimeman oyster GIFGiphy
"Oysters are truly disgusting and absurdly overpriced for quarter sized pieces of snot that tastes like salt water and hot sauce."
Ok, I'm trying to stay calm. I don't want to judge. But some of these opinions... are leaving me shook. Except the oysters. That is that work of the devil. Look away...