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Wedding Guests Reveal Their Deliciously Awful Ceremony Catastrophes

Ah weddings, where so much is supposed to go right but most things don't. Imagine the priest dropping dead, or the roof caving in. Or the groom hitting on everyone, throwing his wedding ring, and the honeymoon still happening. Vegas at 2 A.M. doesn't seem like such a bad idea, does it?

DrillWormBazookaMan asked: Couples whose wedding was an absolute catastrophe, what happened?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Unwanted guests, stolen gifts. Thanks, mother-in-law.

Two things.

70 more guest showed up than were invited. Turns out MIL was inviting people and not telling us. We ran out of chairs, food, everything. Except wine, we had plenty of that.

Someone stole the wedding gifts.

ElbisCochuelo

Ooof.

The wedding was nothing as expected but the marriage has been nothing but a blessing.

It rained non stop, the venue was outside with a gazebo type structure, we still held it there, just closer to the middle so we wouldn't get wet.

We had a low budget wedding, so no live band, just a dj. We gave him the music for the first husband/wife song at rehearsal and all was good. Once it was time for the dance he played the wrong song 3 times, until my husband had it and left me standing in the middle while he went to put the damn music himself.

We hired a professional photographer and also asked our families to take pics with the 3 cameras that we had. We have a total of 10 picture for the whole thing. The professional photographer only had 6 good pictures, everything else was ruined for some reason. The pictures taken with our cameras were all ruined also, this was 17 years ago so i am fuzzy on the details, but all in all, we only got 4 pictures from those cameras.

we were to stay at a hotel in the honeymoon suite and then the next day travel to our honeymoon destination. When we arrived to the hotel (around 1 in the morning i think) they had already given the honeymoon suite to a family because they forgot it was reserved, so we had to stay in a regular room.

EDIT: just to clarify because a lot are asking: This is a third world country, very poor, and at the time we had just started rebuilding after a long war. Customer service was non existing, technology for the pictures was really really bad, so it was a very different time/place from what we would know as normal now, or what we would expect now. At the time, if things went sideways you tough it out and move on. There was no compensation, refunds, or anything like that.

colarg

Probably not the best timing.

So my cousin recently got married to his long term partner and the actual wedding itself went really well.

The reception directly after the ceremony however was marred somewhat by the brides parents announcing half way through the night and completely out of the blue that they would be divorcing...

LethalJizzle

Rain + weak roof = smashed cake.

Not my wedding, but a close friend's colleague.

So much went wrong, but I'll summarise:

unexpected heavy rain
wedding ceremony shifted to inside venue
ceiling collapsed from heavy rainfall right on top of elaborate wedding cake

Luckily the bride and groom had a VERY good sense of humour and iirc the venue refunded a fair amount of what they had paid out of goodwill.

ReasonableApartment

My kinda wedding.

My wedding was awesome, but there was some craziness:

An ambulance was called when one of my groomsmen decided to take a bite out of his pint glass and eat it (on a dare he drunkenly made to himself). My wife and I only learned of this after the fact (as they were good about keeping it away from us).

We had our roommate become a reverend online (Universal Life Church) to marry us who did a great job, but many of the guests thought we just hired a Catholic priest (we come from Catholic families) -- e.g., we just referred to him as Reverend <first name>. Several friends were impressed with the Reverend busting moves on the dance floor and then expressed surprise when he was drunkenly making out with a large black man.

We had an open bar until midnight and then a lower-key cash bar for two hours after that (most guests stayed at the venue which was also a hotel). Our "priest" and someone described as a "large black man" were observed stealing a bottle of Grey Goose from the cash bar, so the next morning when we were finalizing everything we got to pay $300 for it or they could call the authorities. Also, we had given our reverend a bottle of Johnnie Walker (along with the other groomsmen), but he just never opened his groomsmen gift.

NoveltyAccountHater

Genius.

My aunt and uncle were getting married outside in fall, at a beautiful garden. All the guests arrived but the priest did not. Finally they got a call from the hospital saying the priest had food poisoning.

So they grabbed a waiter, sent a groomsman to the Halloween store, and had a wedding where they were "married" by a suspiciously waitery-looking priest.

ogresaregoodpeople

Sounds like a killer time.

My sister's. As we were sitting down to eat, a guest started screaming. The grooms mother went into cardiac arrest. I called 911. They came and attended to her and as we were outside watching them load her into the ambulance, I heard more screaming. Someone ran out and told me that they had better come back into the venue. I run inside and see my grandfather laying on the floor. I ended up riding with him to the hospital. I think he just fainted from the commotion but we didn't know that at the time. They took both of them to the same hospital. Doctor look at both of them as they were being wheeled in and remarked "Must have been one hell of a party."

Walnut28

Moral: it could always be worse.

Not my wedding but my parents'. I wasn't around to experience it but their friends and family still talk about it to this day.

The main culprit was the heavy, heavy rain that caused minor flooding and tons of road closures.

Mother was very late to the church, my father broke down convinced that she was going to be a no-show. Not only was the taxi that was taking her to the church late due to road closures it also managed to hit her as she was running to get in causing a small rip and minor staining on her dress.

A few members of the bridal party were so late they completely missed the ceremony.

At the hotel reception the DJ could not figure out how to get to the venue due to road closures (and being unfamiliar with the area). The first half of the reception was basically quiet until the groomsmen found that the restaurant in the hotel had a jukebox. The restaurant let them move it to the banquet hall where they payed quarters for music.

Almost half of their guests did not come, again due to the rain.

The hotel was understaffed due to the road closures so food took a VERY long time to come out. A guest who must have been literally dying of hunger helped herself to the wedding cake prior to it being cut.

It really sucked on the day but now they look back on it and laugh. Whenever we're at a wedding now and the bride is on the verge of tears due to things not going perfectly my mom will always say, "Don't worry about it, I got hit by a car on my wedding day and everything still worked out."

simplerthings

Do you believe in omens?

When I was about 12, I was an usher in my older cousin's wedding. The pastor had a heart attack mid-ceremony and died on the way to the hospital. Everybody waited in the church basement / "Fellowship hall" while my dad gave CPR and waited for the EMTs. After the EMTs left, the assistant pastor finished the ceremony. The marriage did not last last more than a few weeks.

Chucklefluk

This marriage is off to a great start.

Not my wedding, but the groom kissed me on the dance floor and the priest was a creep and grabbed my friends butt. The groom accused the bride of cheating with the bartender (who is gay and a friend of ours for years) the groom ended up throwing his ring into the woods at the end of the night. The bride stayed in a friends hotel while he went home and went into a rage.

They are actually on their honeymoon at the moment, idiots.

Srirocha

Yeah that's pretty funny.

Not my wedding, but I was working a wedding for dinner service and during the recpetion out in the yard of an event hall, as the bride was walking down the aisle, the automatic sprinklers turned on under everyones chairs and everyone went running and was soaking wet. Honestly, it seemed they thought it was more funny than anything but I cant even imagine.

georgiadawg27

Whoa.

Wedding reception set up anentire wedding for approx 400 guests...with the totally wrong colour scheme, flowers and food. There was a wedding the next day, and unbelievably the bride and groom of that wedding...had exactly the same names. First AND last.

baccgirl

Everything, literally everything, went wrong.

Not mine but at my sister's wedding (marrying a marine she just met) I got into a fist fight, best man threw up during speech, her dress caught on fire, my uncle announced he was leaving my aunt for a 21 year old, drunk cousin spilled the beans about my sister being pregnant to my very conservative grandma and we all got food poisoning for the caterer. Hopefully her next one this winter is better.

Headbangerfacerip

Seared into their memory.

My friend's venue burned down during the reception. They were in the paper and on the evening news. The venue made things right with all of it, but that was a heck of a way to start a marriage.

knightjohannes

That is one strange pastor.

A friend's wedding, worst one i've been to: 1. One of the bridesmaids said she would be part of the party and play the piano for the whole ceremony ONLY if the bride refused to use the "submit to husbands will" bullshit during vows. Bride agreed and then an hour before the ceremony told the bridesmaid that she was going back on her promise. Have you every heard wedding music played angrily on a piano? How about having the piano player need to stare at you while you're in the pews the whole time to try and keep their cool? 2. During the sermon portion of this wedding, the pastor started the speech with "If there is one thing I know about this marriage, it is that this WILL NOT LAST."

Edit: Additional detail sort of requested and now provided. The pastor followed his statement up with some bullsh*t about real marriage not starting until you get to heaven (this marriage on earth never lasts) and then it lasts forever, and he used a sh*tty self-centered metaphor to emphasize the point, and that was the entire sermon. -99/10 would not attend this ceremony again.

thegerd367

The Absolute Best Ways To Subtly Mess With Someone's Head

"Reddit user theary18 asked: 'What is the best thing to say someone to subtly fuck with their head?'"

Close-up of a man wildly smiling with his face painted like the joker
Photo by Mihail Tregubov

Sometimes it's fun to toy with someone.

Especially if it's an enemy or a loved one who simply deserves a good ribbing.

Some cryptic sentences can send anyone into a tailspin.

And oh the fun that can be had.

You have to be as vague as possible and as sincere.

You have to sell the sincerity. That's vital!

And then just watch them implode.

Redditor theary18 wanted to hear about the most creative ways to throw somebody off their game, so they asked:

"What is the best thing to say to someone to subtly f**k with their head?"

I love to come up behind someone and say "I can't believe they would treat you this way. I got you girl!"

Then I scurry away.

Tee-hee...

It's YOU!

For Me GIF by Liz HuettGiphy

"Just tack on the phrase 'given your history' to any question you ask someone."

"Are you sure you want another drink? Given your history?"

"Do you mind driving? Given your history?"

hamletreset

Mean Kids...

"I moved to my elementary school in the 5th grade. Mid-year, a boy came up to me and said, 'I really thought you were gonna be somebody.' I'm now 45 and I'm still like, what the f**k was he talking about?"

NicklePlatedSkull

"Likely something they heard a parent say to someone. Kids love to repeat the dumb stuff you say the next day at school."

itsallgoodman2002

"All jokes aside he probably thought you were someone else. I've done the same things countless times and it's happened to me a few."

Download_more_ramram

"I would interpret this as this kid hearing there's gonna be a 'new kid' and then their imagination ran wild as to who this new star is going to be, that it will be like in some kid movie or something, but you turned out to be just another kid student."

i_was_planned

I Like You

"I don't get why other people don't like you."

Dependent_Main2643

"Another variant is..."

"I don’t care what everyone else is saying. I think you’re great!"

"They’ll take it as a compliment at first but then they’ll think about it and it’ll eat away at them."

Oh-Cool-Story-Bro

"A guy I work with says this time to me every time I help him 'I don’t care what everyone else says about you you’re alright. Literally everyone else. We did a poll.' XD guy says some crazy s**t. When he started he tried to convince us he was a flat earther. He just likes fucking with people."

ThreeBeatles

Rumors

“'I heard about you.'"

ignorantpigeon

"Whenever I hear this I always respond with 'if it’s all good, it’s all lies.' Usually shows my sense of humor and if it is bad things they heard it usually lightens the mood."

ElApolloLoco

"Years ago I worked at a cafe and function venue which was sold after a few years to a new catering company. The first time I met the new restaurant manager I introduced myself and she exclaimed 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' and I was a bit weirded out. Then not long later I met the new owner and she also said 'Oh, you’re winoforever!' I still wonder twenty years later what they’d both heard about me."

winoforever_slurp_

Problems

Drunk Party Girl GIFGiphy

"Go up to someone at a party and say: 'I just want you to know that personally, I have no problem with you being here.'"

LuketheMook

"I once got drunk and effectively said that to a girl at a wedding. 'I don't care what everyone else thinks, I always liked you' or something like that."

Supersnazz

Parties are the perfect setting for these shenanigans.

Especially with the drinkers.

But get them at least semi-sober.

I got You

Okaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"If you are chatting with someone and another person walks up look at them and say 'I just want you to know that I was defending you' then turn and walk off. It's a good 2fer."

could_use_a_snack

Hush

"'We know, but don't worry, we'll keep it a secret.'"

ch3rrycsmos_

"A friend in high school (actually still a current friend) said something similar to me and it definitely f**ked with my head. 'You know you're not fooling anyone, right?' He wouldn't elaborate and it took me the rest of the day to figure out he was f**king with me. As a guy with imposter syndrome, especially as a teen, that had me turned for a bit."

ablackcloudupahead

You Again

"If it’s someone you interact with repeatedly, always introduce yourself as if you’ve never met before."

Stillwater215

"I keep doing this to a guy I see very occasionally. He's a friend of my sister-in-law, but I've introduced myself to him at least four times. Right now, I'm trying to picture his face and I totally can't, so if I see him again, I'll introduce myself again. He remembers me though. And I don't have this issue with anyone else, I just can't remember this guy's face for some reason."

KrtekJim

Big Mouth

"You really need to brush your teeth."

setthepinnacle

"Somebody jokingly left a message on the 'tip' line that said 'Take a breath mint.'"

"I'm like 90% sure it was just the first thing that came to his head but it f**ked with me for weeks. I was self-conscious when talking to people, being close to them with my mouth open, and I'd constantly be brushing longer/harder taking mouthwash a couple extra times a day, and using mints."

ToFaceA_god

Head Issues

Think About It GIF by IdentityGiphy

"Give all your friends a few dollars to compliment their hat if they’re not wearing one. When 50 people insist you’re wearing a hat, you start to think you’re wearing a hat. It will drive them insane."

Stillwater215

Hats off for that last one. That's harmless but devious.

Do you have any tips to add? Let us know in the comments below.

laughing woman wearing pink sweater
Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Societal pressures shape how people act most of the time, but every now and then someone comes along who doesn't care what other people think.

They do what they want, when they want without guilt or remorse.

According to President Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."

Much less rare are the times when otherwise conscientious people decide to throw caution to the wind. Almost everyone had at least one moment in life when they decide to go for it.

Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, right?

How things turn out after such a decision can make for some interesting stories.

Keep reading...Show less
Couple laughing
Photo by Devon Divine on Unsplash

Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.

What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.

Redditor thann3 asked:

"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"

Backing Up

"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."

"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."

- evilpinkmoney

"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."

- kingoflint282

That Reading Voice

"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."

- donbruh

Overwhelmingly Happy

"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."

"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"

"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."

- snarkylarkie

Safety First

"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."

"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."

"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."

- eeeeriemarie

Certain Accessories

"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."

"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."

"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."

"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."

- GemoDorgon

Good Chemistry

"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."

"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."

- yoooozername

That Deep Stare

"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."

- SamCham10

The Perfect Sweater

"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."

- wastedmytwenties

"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."

- schnaizer91

The Sleeve Roll Trick

"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."

- farrah_barra

The Corniest Jokes

"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."

- Hobbbitttuallly

The Perfect Wine Pour

"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."

"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."

- chicken-and-awfuls

Specific Arm Movements

"Two things."

"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."

"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."

- shimmydownnow

Love Language: Physical Touch

"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."

- 1beeratatime

Totally Saved It

"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."

"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."

"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."

"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"

"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."

- anyesuki

Simply Existing

"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."

- andytheloser12

While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.

Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!

Shocked woman
Alexander Krivitskiy/Unsplash
Extroverts love conversation.

Unlike introverts who tend to shy away from engaging in random discussions, those who are comfortable–or too comfortable–in their own skin love to get all chatty.

That doesn't mean they have anything significant to say.

Strangers shared their bizarre interaction experiences when Redditor AlexanderKeef asked:
"What’s the weirdest thing someone casually told you as if it were totally normal?"

People whom you don't know tend to overshare as these Redditors experienced.

A High Request

"A story from a friend - in Colorado, someone once asked, 'Could you watch my wolves, I can pay you in weed.'"

"There's a lot to unpack in that question!"

– surlymoe

"You don't unpack wolves, you keep them together."

– hwarang_

Unsolicited Prediction

"Husband (30) and I were pushing our shopping cart out of the grocery store when a random man (who honestly looked like dumbledore) looked at my husband and said 'take my hat, you're gonna need it, you'll be bald very soon.' Obviously my husband didn't take it. It was super odd of him to say because my husband had a FULL head of hair."

"Three months later, my husband was diagnosed with a condition that made him lose all of his hair. Weird coincidence."

– hollyjollyaf

Self-Casting

"A guy once told me how he loved the feeling of wearing casts, so he'd put casts on himself- for days or weeks on end. Even if it meant he couldn't drive and would be stuck at home the entire time. He'd use vacation time just to wear full leg & arm casts."

– Present_Dust_2308

Homophobic Homosexual

A homophobic guy I know: 'Being gay is a choice.'"

"I said something like - ok, choose to be gay for a day, an hour, a single minute if you can."

"Guy - That's easy, I'm attracted to men all the time, I just choose to only like girls because I'm not gay."

"Me - Ummm..."

discostud1515

Longheld Grudge

"Once, an older woman came up to me on the street, took hold of my wrists and simply said 'they ripped out my afterbirth', and then carried on walking."

– JennyW93

"It's strange to grab strangers. But one day in Walmart, my granny walked ahead of me, and reached to grab me to show me something, without looking and she was pulling on an old lady's arm obliviously, and the old lady's eyes were like O.O."

"My grandma didn't even apologize, she just let go and yelled at me to stay closer."

– chzygorditacrnch

A Hairdresser-In-Training

"I was getting my hair done this last weekend by my daughter at her cosmetology school. One of her fellow students was excited to meet me. She talked nonstop and eventually told me that she has hemorrhoids and that she has her husband push them back in. So much TMI from a stranger!"

– Digjam823

You never know about the personal lives of people you see on a regular basis.

Squeaky Clean

"I had a college professor on the first day of class say that she is obsessed with Q-tips and cleaning her ears and that her family has to limit her to 3 a day-"

– lokeilou

Here's The Story...

"That they have 6 kids, all with different dads & each dad is in prison."

– ChyCgx2

"I once had a coworker who had seven kids with five different women and he'd constantly complain about how most of his paycheck went to child support. You uh, dug your own grave, pal. I'm really not sympathetic to your plight."

– apocalypticradish

It's the end of the world as we know it.

End Of Civilization

"I know a guy, we don't talk often but due to business we cross paths on occasion. More or less every time we talk he asks if I'm ready for the total societal collapse coming next week, or Tuesday, or at the end of the month.. and so on."

"I just tell him that it's not gonna happen; he usually then asks about my "crystal ball" so I remind him that I've been right every time."

– rkpjr

Zombie Apocalypse

"I went to a ComicCon type event in my city years ago(Walking Dead was a new show, first season for reference) and went to a panel about zombies. They talked about historical zombie lore, the first zombie movies, and the exciting first season of the new show Walking Dead, with some actors on the panel. When they opened it up to the audience for questions one of the first ones was, 'what kind of zombies do you predict we’ll have in a real zombie apocalypse? (Fast vs slow)'…panelists don’t really know how to answer, each gives their personal favorite or worst case scenario. Then we get to, 'What do you think the timeline is for the start of a coming zombie apocalypse?' Panelists are kind of like….? Talk about how things usually play out fiction."

“'No, but exactly WHEN do you think we’ll need to be fully prepared for zombies in real life?' Like, guys, these are actors and media studies academics, first of all they don’t have the level of belief you do and second, the people you should be asking about this stuff are probably biologists."

– AlternativeAcademia

Whenever I feel threatened by a homeless person who is pressuring me to hand over them cash, I tell them, "I''m allergic to corn."

The random phrase throws them and in the brief moment they assess what they heard I'm afforded more time to distance myself from them.

It always works, especially when they realize I'm all kinds of crazy and not worth targeting.