Hurt Me. No More.

The minister was doing their speech during the ceremony and asked, rhetorically, "What is love?"

"Baby don't hurt me" was muttered by several groomsmen, who all started cracking up. PoseidonsHairyNipple

The Giant! 

My ex-husband and I were at his cousins wedding. Another cousin of his (25/M) was a groomsman. He was a GIANT guy (6'4, roughly 400 pounds) and the life of the party. Picking kids up and throwing them in the air, holding the Groom on his shoulders, dancing like a maniac. Having a blast.

I went to the bathroom and came back to the reception to the music cut and everyone circled around the dance floor just... panicked. There was Matt. Completely purplish red and on the floor while a guest performed CPR and others were calling 911, taking his pulse, screaming.

He passed away from a massive heart attack. Pronounced dead on the scene.

The reception ended right then and there, obviously. The bride and groom were supposed to leave for their honeymoon to Hawaii that same evening. They ended up not going and instead they stayed home to attend the funeral where the Groom was a pallbearer. YasMysteries

Broke Out. 

My buddy married a woman who was estranged from most of her family save her 90+ year old grandpa. They were so close and he was in poor health that the wedding was held in grandpa's backyard so he could be there.

36 hours before the wedding he had a massive heart attack and was rushed to the ER. They were recommending hospice/palliative care and bride to be was going to call off the wedding. Grandpa insisted it go on even with him not being at his own house because people were flying from all over the country. All during intermittent bouts of consciousness.

Fast forward to the wedding and this determined grandad "broke out" of the hospital. just unhooked all his equipment/IV stuff and took a cab to his own house hours before the wedding.

The family that was invited was incredibly upset but knew how close he was to the bride and he ended up staying through the whole ceremony without issue. Slept in his bed and then returned to the hospital the next day. Think he also drank a few beers

Absolute legend of a man. an4x

They Lived. 

Watching the groom and his best men ride the bathtub that was used for the beer down a hill and not die. It was a hill for loading boats into a river. It was like a 150 foot ride and they got going scary fast. The bath broke into pieces but all five of the men where fine.... somehow. TheGreatWitchPaige

The Long Pause.

At my wedding, the maid of honor gave a 15 minute speech that did nothing but reference her breakup, and then me and my wife's prior relationships in gruesome detail. Longest 15 minutes of my life. We're no longer married. HackTheSystem-90

The Dance. 

My best friend's biological father, who took off when she was very young, threw a fit and made everyone from his family leave, because my best friend did her father/daughter dance with her step dad, who has raised her in her father's absence. watermelonoma

It Works Out. 

When I was a child, my cousin and I cut my our aunt's wedding cake while everyone was out of the room. We thought we were helping. I'd feel bad, she ended up divorcing the dude and her current husband is awesome. AbraxasEolh

Good for the Soul. 

I was at a wedding where the family had a tradition that between the wedding and the reception, the couple would take a fifteen minute break to share a large bowl of chicken soup. They ate at a table in the middle of the courtyard and no one was allowed to come near.

Not only does it prevent the starving bride problem, but it emphasizes that they are accountable only to each other. jeffbell

Destroyers! 

A guest let their children play in the kitchen a couple hours before the wedding despite repeatedly being told not to let their children in there (among other things, apparently they'd been misbehaving a lot). The kids destroyed the wedding cake. I believe they were related to the bride somehow and that's why they were there so early. Chickenpastalover

I Love an Evil Monkey.

At my wedding the registrar said the best mans name instead of mine during the I do's and my wife was to busy staring at me to notice. My mate with pure class started to stand up and walk up to take my place! I gave him the evil monkey stare and the whole room was laughing pretty hard. The registrars face was bright red and she apologized for it. LOL Badger_bo

The Sound of the Tings....

When my uncle got married the best man dropped the ring. In the dead silence of the church you could hear it 'ting ting ting' as it bounced along the floor, followed by one of the groomsmen stage whispering "Jesus Christ" loud enough for everyone to hear. The pastor didn't even bat an eye, just said, "The ring has already been blessed, thank you" and carried on. ink_monkey96

We hear You!

I walked by an outdoor wedding in which the bride walked in to "Maneater" and the groom walked in to "Gold Digger." Either the whole family has a great sense of humor or the marriage is doomed. GKrollin

Roll Away.

Roller Skate wedding. Bride fell down and opened a gusher on her head. They finished the ceremony and took her to the hospital. She ended up needing emergency surgery to drain fluid build up in her head and ended up having to relearn how to walk.

The adverse effects were from the surgery that saved her life, not the accident itself. Sometimes to save someone, you gotta mess some crap up. TheLightningCount1

Interruptions. 

They rented a huge manor.... Music? Not a problem: Spotify.... Premium you ask? Nope..... with the commercials. osktox

This couple asked everyone to request a song on their RSVPs and they made a playlist. It was all random songs in random order. A lot of them weren't even good dancing or party songs, just songs people liked. Spotify sounds better. jittery_raccoon

Besties....

There was a couple who had been "best friends" forever- like... many years. They never put the boyfriend/girlfriend label on anything, but they were both in the military, lived together, and were an item long before they introduced each other as girlfriend and boyfriend.

By the time they started "dating" they only really dated for about a year before they got married, even though they'd effectively been together for over a decade. Their families knew each other, everyone who knew them knew they were going to eventually get married- it wasn't weird if you knew them.

During their wedding, they were brought to the dance floor to play some kind of newlywed game while the DJ (who didn't know them) MC'd the event. He asked how long they dated, to which they said just under a year. The DJ goes on this rant about how he can't believe people that only know each other for a short period of time and get married. He ironically asked them if they understood that they were getting MARRIED and that he seriously doubted that they'd known each other for long enough to make that kind of commitment. Yiiiiikes. raddlesnake

Beware the Rando! 

My wife was recently a bridesmaid for her friend who she hadn't really seen in a few years. It was actually a nice wedding and the reception was also pretty nice. Unfortunately the groomsman my wife was paired with was under the impression that she was going to go home with him after the wedding. Me and my wife have been together for almost 20 years. And some rando she met one or two times is going to sweep her off her feet when her husband and kid are in the same room? PunchBeard

Tears and Upstaging! 

Best: Bride and Groom both happy crying at the alter.

Worst: Another man proposing to his girlfriend during the reception.

Never seen but heard about: Someone else proposing to the bride during the ceremony. Somuchtoomuchporn

What a Zoo....

My cousin had her wedding at a zoo because she was a vet tech and her first date was at a zoo as well as her engagement so it just made sense. I was a bridesmaid so we got to get especially up close to the animals. The giraffes kept trying to eat the bouquets during the pictures (and they were nontoxic so it was mostly just funny and cute). detrimentsLament

BOO!

I was at my "cousin's" wedding (not actually related but she's my godmother's daughter). Her and her husband hired this performer for their reception. This woman was dressed up like a plant and was in what looked like a large cement planter outside.

My mother and I decided to sit right next to where she was. Every so often she would change position but did so kind of slowly, almost like she was being moved by the wind in slow motion.

Now that in and of itself isn't really that cool. What was great though, was the fact that this woman dressed as a plant was manufacturing fun for herself. She would stay still and wait for people to stop in front of her and start a conversation. When she was sure they hadn't noticed her, she would start moving and scare the crap out of the people that were there. My mother and I got a good hour or so of amusement from that. EsotericTaint

HEEEEEEY Boys!

Gay male wedding in England. Registrar stands at front of the ceremony before starting the vows and for some inexplicable reason says "get your rings ready boys." Cue 30 gays bursting out in uncontrollable laughter, and the older family members at the front looking round confused and/or disapprovingly. Didsburyflaneur

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