
Here comes the bride....
[rebelmouse-image 18352338 is_animated_gif=Weddings are truly epicenters of drama. They're high stakes, and they involve the feelings of more than just the bride and groom spinning round and round at a solid 10. And out of the high stakes and the anxiety comes some crazy stories.
u/satori1997 wanted to hear from Reddit's experiences at weddings: What's the craziest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?
Buckle up cause here comes the freakin' bride.
Incongruous
[rebelmouse-image 18361913 is_animated_gif=The bride delivered beautiful, heartfelt serious vows during the ceremony and when it came time for the groom to step up, he made a joke about how he can't wait to see her pregnant and fighting off zombies. It was mortifying and you could see the disappointment on her face.
Health Coordination
[rebelmouse-image 18352395 is_animated_gif=I didn't actually see it, but when we arrived at the reception, after taking photos, there was an ambulance parked outside. My new wife and I were worried that something might have happened to an older relative.
Apparently our wedding coordinator (it was at a golf course) was epileptic, and had had a seizure. As it began, she turned to my father-in-law, said "I need help," and then collapsed.
They called for an ambulance, and while they were wheeling her out, she kept apologizing over and over, and even emailed us about it after. We were just glad she was alright.
Raised By Narcissists
[rebelmouse-image 18361915 is_animated_gif=My parents threw a competing after-wedding brunch to my own---and didn't tell me or my wife. No one from my side came to ours because they assumed that plans had changed. My mother stole them all away with her dirty trick.
I found out about the plot when my aunt kissed me goodbye at the end of my wedding and said she'd see me tomorrow, at the hotel. The actual brunch was at my in-laws house.
When I confronted my parents about it, they said I should thank them for spending the money---and I should have been there.
I think this all happened because my parents are jealous of my in-laws, who are successful, well off, generous, and loving.
Conflicting Ceremonies
[rebelmouse-image 18361916 is_animated_gif=My cousin's wedding about 25 years ago. It was in a Catholic church so the wedding was pretty long by definition.
At the same time as my cousin's wedding, there was a reception going on for another wedding, in the basement of the same church -- complete with DJ'ed music, which was filtering upstairs all throughout "our" service.
Literally, the exact moment that the Priest said "You may kiss the bride", the DJ downstairs started playing "Roll Out the Barrel."
Everybody cracked up -- except the bride's mother, who quit her membership in the church the next day. Extra drama points: the Priest was the bride's uncle.
Thanks, Uncle Lou
[rebelmouse-image 18361917 is_animated_gif=Couple opened their wedding gifts at the reception and we all had to watch like it was a f-cking birthday party for a toddler. There were lots of gift comments that would have been better in private.
"Oh wow, a toilet brush? Uhh...thanks, Uncle Lou..." -eye roll and chuckle-
Awful Display
[rebelmouse-image 18354401 is_animated_gif=My aunt decided to break her 23 year no drinking streak and have two glasses of red wine. Approaches my cousin and his wife (she did NOT like this girl), and informs them that their son looks nothing like my cousin and she just knows she slept with another man. While the room was quiet.
The Worst News
[rebelmouse-image 18354016 is_animated_gif=Family of the bride got a notification during the ceremony that the child of a relative who couldn't attend was hit by a car and killed earlier in the day.
Tears of joy instantly turned to tears of grief. Everyone on the bride's side was just sobbing and everything, and the wedding was called off right then and there.
The bride and groom still haven't gotten married yet, almost 9 months later (they are still together, though), because the bride was really close to this child and was already upset that he and his mom couldn't come.
Classless
[rebelmouse-image 18361918 is_animated_gif=The wedding was at a soup kitchen the couple sometimes volunteered at, presumably to remind us how selfless they are. Hundreds of homeless people were gathered outside and if the couple had said "hey, dress casual because if you're coming to our wedding you'll be helping serve the homeless" I would have been all for it - instead we stood there in nice clothes eating food while all the homeless people watched through the fence. Extremely awkward, totally classless. The homeless were essentially used as props. Also I had not really understood where this was or expected to run the homeless gauntlet to get in so I didn't prepare my kids who were traumatized and kept asking if we were going to lose our house. On the plus side, we got to attend a wedding in a dirty parking lot.
Slight Panic
[rebelmouse-image 18356969 is_animated_gif=Stood up in a wedding recently where all the guys were standing at the altar and the bridesmaids came up the aisle to music...the whole thing was going smoothly. Then the doors shut and everyone turned to wait for them to open for the bride to walk in.
Except we waited, and waited. The usher (brother of the bride) poked his head out, left, came back and motioned for his mother to come back immediately.
She left, we waited more, usher called for one of the groomsmen (other brother) to come back there. He left, we waited.
Turns out the father of the bride had a massive kidney stone that must have started passing right when he was supposed to walk his daughter down the aisle.
The bride was a mess, the father was screaming in agony, the organ just kept playing music softly. Eventually we found out what was happening so everyone kind of relaxed that it wasn't the bride running away.
Jealousy
[rebelmouse-image 18361919 is_animated_gif=Mother of the groom showed up in a white formal gown complete with a mini veil on a fascinator, sobbed loudly throughout the ceremony, and then tried to cut in every time the bride and groom danced.
Sssssslight Misssssscommunication
[rebelmouse-image 18361920 is_animated_gif=Two California Kingsnakes slithered through the venue at my wedding. That was not planned.
Ignore The Children
[rebelmouse-image 18361921 is_animated_gif=I saw a fight between two of the bride's uncles where one of them picked the other up and slammed him through a glass table in the lobby. Police and ambulance were called. The bride came walking out of the main room and I grabbed her, told her to go back in and ignore everything, and she was just like, "Ok, not gonna let whatever happened ruin my night." Wedding continued like nothing happened.
Cake Cake Cake Cake
[rebelmouse-image 18361922 is_animated_gif=Only horrible for one person. The main hostess for the reception of about 30 guests. She carried in the 3-tier wedding cake, rather than using a cart. She not only dropped it, but fell face first into it on the floor. First dead silence...then a few giggles....and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen before. She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we're half drunk and don't care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1000 more in tips than she would have had that not happened.
Wedding Bell Rumble
[rebelmouse-image 18358651 is_animated_gif=One wedding I was at a few years ago was pretty big (maybe around 100-200 people) and it erupted into a gigantic brawl. Like at least half the people there were involved.
I don't know how it started, aside from a bunch of people being way too drunk, but it started outside where people were smoking. I was sitting at my table having a drink and noticed that the dance floor like fully cleared out. I walked over to the bar and noticed a bunch of people fighting right at the entrance. Eventually it spread inside to the front entry way and near the bar. I sat at the bar watching it all unfold and had a drink.
An older guy got pushed through a window and had a huge gash on his head, the groom got a tooth knocked out, a lot of people had blood stained shirts and like 10 cop cars and a few ambulances showed up. I don't know if anyone got arrested because I didn't stick around too long after. The bride just went to the bathroom and changed into normal clothes, seemed pretty distraught. I think they're still married..
Buffet Burns
[rebelmouse-image 18361924 is_animated_gif=I was a wedding DJ back in the day, so I've seen 'em all; but my all time favorite was at a VFW Hall in Wisconsin. The buffet was set up in the center of the dance floor, opposite the head table, with guests seated on either side and my set-up at the far end of the dance floor directly across from the head table. (Buffet was between us)
The caterers put sterno cans directly onto the paper table cloths covering the buffet...and the whole thing went up in flames about 10 minutes after their were lit. The Hall manager comes rushing out with a fire extinguisher, glances in one direction towards my thousands of dollars in equipment and in the other direction towards the head table...and proceeds to blast the buffet-flames, pointing the extinguisher right at the head table. Every dress, tux and hairstyle was ruined...to say nothing of all the food.
I Guess The Vows Were Good
[rebelmouse-image 18361925 is_animated_gif=The translator got too moved by the vows and broke down in tears.
The couple were Irish and Lithuanian, and the ceremony was conducted in Lithuanian, by a Lithuanian officiant, a translator had been provided to allow the English speaking guests to follow proceedings, but she was so overwhelmed by the occasion, she broke down in floods of joyful weeping.
We assumed she was a family member of the bride helping out, but apparently she was an official Lithuanian government translator with no prior connection to anyone or the occasion...
New Pairings
[rebelmouse-image 18361926 is_animated_gif=At a wedding reception one guy left his wife, and one lady left her boyfriend and the two of them left the reception together.
En Garde
[rebelmouse-image 18361927 is_animated_gif=A friend of mine was a marine, so at his wedding he had invited a bunch of his old marine buddies. It was open bar, so everyone was drinking pretty heavily. The thing is, most of the marines showed up with their swords.
There was sword-fighting on the dance floor. It was amazing.
Yikes
[rebelmouse-image 18361928 is_animated_gif=An ex of the groom showed up, took over the mic and said, 'Here's to your small ** and a lifetime of disappointing sex.'
Making Things Awkward
[rebelmouse-image 18361929 is_animated_gif=One of the bridesmaids was close friends with the groom. For the entire wedding, she was making comments on how he was getting his first wedding out of the way and that she would be his second wife.
She was also married, to the best man.
Other highlights include dragging the photographer away to give her a personal photoshoot (photos of her and the groom, and a handful of just her posing) and before the grand entrance for the reception, sitting on the groom's lap and feeding him strawberries.
Both couples are still separately married.
There is nothing more frustrating than the things we cannot say, but desperately want to.
Sometimes, we might find ourselves in situations where we are positively desperate to speak up, but for whatever reason can't.
Even though we know deep down, that people will be better off, or things might run more smoothly if we said something.
Redditor MCKlassik was curious to hear the things that people would benefit from hearing, but will likely never be told, leading them to ask:
"What is something most people need to hear but no one has the guts to tell people?"
Think twice before having children
"Some people aren't fit to be parents."- Busy_Quail1725
"A baby will not save your failing relationship."
"Some parents do not love their children."- Optimal-Green9561
When they blame their ex for the break up.
"Sometimes, it is you and not them."- Ok_String_6735
Don't let the smile fool you
"Just because someone is smiling does not mean that they are happy."
"Smiling is also a sign of nervousness or discomfort."- redge9987
Don't always let you feelings guide you
"Your feelings are important, but they can also lead you astray."
"Listen to them, but question them as well to see where you might be wrong."- PapiSurane
No one likes a know it all
"Not everyone needs to hear your opinion on everything."
"It's ok to have an unexpressed thought."
"Yes, I am aware of the irony expressing this thought."- Futurenazgul
Enough with the self pity
"Who you are is not who you are doomed to be."- Smart_Walk8237
When they're one egg short of a dozen
"You need to develop critical thinking and reasoning skills."- balaclavaloungeparty
When their scent precedes them.
"You should take a shower."- SatanOnLSD
In some cases, it might be worse not to say something, especially if it might actually help their situation.
But when that isn't the case, it's probably best to suck up our pride, and keep our big mouths shut.
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Films can be challenging in what they're trying to say, and if that challenge is too much to answer, don't feel bad for having to turn something off.
*The following article contains discussion of sexual assault.Reddit user, Elixir_Jx, wanted to know when a movie was just too much when they asked:
"What’s film is so brutal to watch you had to stop watching it?"
What reason would you have for stopping a movie before it finishes? The cinematography making you dizzy? The subject matter is too much for your to consider?
It'll vary, that's for sure.
"Animals Don't Behave Like Men"
"Watership Down."
"Hey, it's a cartoon, and it has bunnies!"
"Oh dear god..."
eddyathome
Let's Climb High
"Not brutal, but I had to stop watching the doc Free Solo bc my blood pressure couldn’t handle the stress. This was early on when I had no knowledge of the climber and outcome."
NoCanadianCoins
"The Alpinist is the spiritual successor to this because it takes all the danger and pushes the envelope a bit more. However you felt about Free Solo, you’ll feel the same way about The Alpinist, except the guy is a bit more charismatic."
RonyTheTiger
Don't Listen To The Internet. It's Bad.
"Batman and Robin(1997)"
skippedad404
"Batsuit nipples and sh-t zippers."
StickSauce
Perhaps it's the gore that forces you to turn it off, because watching someone being disemboweled for the umpteenth time in a film is not what you consider "entertainment."
Seems Like A Breach Of The Hippocratic Oath...
"I saw some French horror film about a nurse who went to some pregnant ladies house, tormented her, tortured her, then proceeded to cut open her belly with scissors to get the baby out."
DioramaDad
"I think that was called Inside. Not really bothered by gore in movies on the whole but that one definitely left me freaked out on the walk home."
Hairy_Brains
You Need To Pick Better "Family" Movies
"The Last House On The Left. The rape scene in that movie was way too brutal for me to get through it. I can still picture scenes of it for some reason, that's how real and violent it felt. Didn't help that it was a movie that my family decided to watch together either. That said, we still tease my mom for picking that movie out as some weird shared trauma bonding experience all these years later. So maybe it wasn't a bad family movie after all????"
lastcallcarrot
You Should See His Joker...
"Requiem for a dream"
_Bendemic_
"Watched it on a date."
"There was not a second."
MagnificentSyndicate
Sound Makes Everything
"While I didn't stop watching, Bone Tomahawk was just..... jaezus"
wolf_of_thorns
"I stopped but then shortly after gathering myself watched that scene. I think the worst of it is the sound. Whoever did the sound engineering for that scene, from the dude letting out this last gasp of pain he has to the splitting part all of it leaves a lasting impression"
The_Crescent
Romantic Revenge With Pretty Dresses
"Midsommar - I think its a psychological horror, I didn't stop watching but it was the most uncomfortable I have ever felt while watching a movie."
"The movie itself is very trippy and honestly disturbing."
Balderino
Whatever your reason for turning it off, trust your gut. If it's not giving you a good feeling, then maybe it's not the film for you.
There's A Message Buried Under All The Blegh
"a serbian film. awful sh-t"
tlep
"I finished it when I was a rebellious 21 year old solely out of spite and wanting to see "the most banned movie" and boy do I wish I'd turned it off."
Wolf-Track
"It was awful to watch. But (if I remember correctly) the film was made as a statement on the Serbian government. To tell the story of people born into a sh*tty system which they cannot escape."
"In that respect it was an incredible film. However I have to say that, I don't necessarily agree with the visual imagery, it was brutal and perhaps could have been toned down abit."
"Though arguably had to be done to get the point across to an audience who otherwise would have ignored it."
Awordforsynonym
A Movie About Kids. What Could Go Wrong?
"Grave of the Fireflies. One of the only movies I've ever stopped watching partway through."
Janube
"Brilliant but one of the darkest movies I've ever seen."
ferox965
A Grim View Of Our World
"Threads. The most terrifying movie I've ever seen about nuclear disaster. tl;dr it's not something you want to survive"
standrightwalkleft
"It's not even a horror movie, it's a docudrama. That's just how horrific the subject matter is."
"A lot of apocalypse movies offer a very romantic view of what things would be like. Threads (and The Road) show a much more realistic view of it. Just humans slowly becoming feral as they struggle to survive in nightmarish hellscape."
"I made it as far as the hospital scene, stopped watching, and decided that if the nukes are ever flying, the best thing to do is to pray to whatever deity you believe in (or not), then step outside and watch the fireworks."
Steam_whale
The Good Guys Will Never Win
"Funny Games"
AVBforPrez
"My husband turned it on and started watching it not knowing it. I’m like “oh this is interesting…He’s so annoying! Just leave her alone…Wait what…I can’t watch, but I can’t turn away…”
Wam_2020
Summaries are there for a reason, people. Let's start reading them before we press play, especially when our families are in the room.
Was there a movie you turned off partway through? Tell us about it in the comments!
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Former Inmates Disclose Which Things People On The Outside Wouldn't Understand About Prison
Being a law-abiding citizen shouldn't be that difficult.
As long as people obey the rules, maintain their morals, and avoid making extremely bad decisions, they will never see the walls inside a prison cell.
Unfortunately, people do often break the law and find themselves in the slammer where their contemplations on life choices come a little too late.
But now that they have nowhere to go, what is the wisdom inmates acquire?
Curious to hear what some of those might be, Redditor Max_Fenig asked:
"Former inmates of Reddit, what are some things about prison that people outside wouldn't understand?"
Many speculations about life behind bars are confirmed here.
Boredom
"how boring it is. you spend your entire time just waiting. waiting for court. waiting for a sentence. waiting to get out. it’s a level of boredom i never want to experience again."
– Necessary-Rabbit-340
Misery Loves Company
"Starchy food and a lack of dental care."
– tacopony_789
Waiting In Lines
"Seriously. Between regular prison stuff, it's all just waiting in lines. Picking up commissary? Go wait in line. Doctors appointment? We'll wake you up at 4am so you can go wait in line. (Also, why did the doctors always have to check me out at 4am? One time, they woke me up for medical and for a split sec I didn't know where I was so I just put my hands down my pants and went back to sleep. Guards just laughed and told me to wake my a** up...lol)"
– nnnoooeee
Like A Psych Ward
"No kidding. Your feeling of helplessness is so intense. I sat there thinking I was just a bit down and sad. So now you lock me up and treat me like child and expect me to suddenly be happy? I didn't gain anything from it except learning to keep my sadness to myself and not reach out for help."
"Left the place barely being able to function from my depression to being so drugged up I could barely function. No change in my status to society etc. Just a change in the cause."
– Ashotep
Some former inmates miss the established sense of order and the mundanity of life in prison.
Weird Kind Of Freedom
"Sometimes you miss it once you're out."
"There are some days where I just feel defeated by the daily stresses of life, and I remember being able to wake up every day and not really have to worry about a lot of things: I don't have rent or utilities to pay, I don't have to go grocery shopping, I don't have to do yard work, I don't have to keep a schedule of places to be and worry about making sure I have enough time to get from place to place or anything. It was a weird kind of freedom while being extremely un-free."
– bstyledevi
The School Analogy
"I think this is part of what I miss about being a kid. School was like an optimistic 'prison' in that we were told what to do and when. But that in itself was freeing, because I didn’t have to worry about planning the day, or my life. I didn’t miss out on things bc we all went to the same things. It felt like the guidance we had would make everything turn out okay."
"This is part of what’s difficult about being an adult, that you don’t know what you’re doing. You don’t know if youre making the best choices, you constantly fear missing out on other things while doing anything, you got no guarantee of social interaction with others. People aren’t trusting of you by default, and every first interaction is an attempt to convince people that you’re a good enough person to engage with."
"Someone’s always there to catch you from falling and help you out in school as a kid. As an adult, there’s no safety net, no one’s coming to save you, because you’re on your own."
– ItActuallyIsGullible
Going Through The Motions
"Yeah, its so easy once you get used to it. Everything is figured out for you, you got a stable rutine and there are clear rules and bounderies. Also you usually have a tight group of friends that you share everything with."
"I spend a year in the army as a conscript and I was pretty down after it ended, because I had to return to a life of a young man where everything was still so unclear and difficult."
– ManyPerformance9608
Finding A Community
"Honestly, it's not always so bad. These days there are so many drug addicts in low sec prisons that they sometimes group them together in the same blocks. I was one of them, and everyone was respectful and friendly. When I got there I was in full opiate withdrawal and my cell mates gave me food and comfort to help me get through it. This is not always the case, for sure, but I've dealt with worse people on the outside than when I was locked up."
– boston_nsca
For the most part, ex-cons believed the reality of life in prison didn't closely reflect Hollywood depictions.
Don't Rock The Boat
"Ex-Con here. One thing about Prison I feel like people don’t understand when I tell them my story is that Prison (at least for me) isn’t entirely like what it is in the media. Yeah sure there is Riots, Yard fights, people get shanked, and there scary dudes who look like they want to kill you but in reality they just look mean and scary as a way to protect themselves. For instance there was this big tough dude who was actually a chill dude and got cigs and stuff for others guys if you treated him right. So in reality if you treat other inmates right and don’t bad mouth anyone then you’ll be fine. Just don’t do the what the 'skinny idiot' did, and that is act all SUPER tough and get in peoples faces because that is what will get you beaten up."
– Suitable_Panic_7558
Surprising Civility
"Prison society is exceptionally polite 99% of the time. Inmates have some of the best manners of anyone you will ever interact with. They hold doors for the next person even if they are far away and have to wait. They say please and thank you. They do not insult each other or show disrespect."
"If you are ever in prison and see inmates acting impolite towards each other, get the f'k out of there. That 1% when it's not polite is extraordinarily violent and dangerous."
– Duke_Shambles
Unexpected Comfort
"I'll take a different angle on this instead of the usual horror stories, as violent and crazy as it was, there were a lot of good parts too. As someone that has had a pretty chaotic life, having a secure day to day life, employment and lots of trusted friends around me for a few years was really nice."
"There's a certain level of comfort that comes with being surrounded by murderers that you're actually friends with, new inmates come and go but you're tucked away in the long term unit where there's a 3 month waiting list to even apply to transfer in, it really was a very peaceful experience for me."
– Totallycasual
Based on the majority of what was shared here, it may seem those of us who have never served a sentence have wrongful impressions of life behind bars.
We just have to take their word for it.
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I know we're a culture full of over the top whiners.
We love to go on and on about all the things that bother us.
And all of the life impediments that stand in the way of our happiness.
But we need to dial it down a notch.
There is a difference between actual bodily harm and an inconvenience.
Redditorseesnawsnappywanted to mull over what aspects of life make us feel like actual pain but maybe we're exaggerating. They asked:
"What isn't torture but feels like it?"
I hated waiting tables. You have no idea the actual torture, ok not actual, but misery one must endure.
Dial Up
"Slow internet."
sev45day
"Slow internet : pretty salty"
"Connected but no internet : a n g r y"
Out of the Way!
"Traffic when you’re already late."
EdibleTurds
"Being stuck in traffic, and having a poop locked and loaded in the chamber. Stupid drivers wrecking all the time and having me prairie doggin' for an extra hour."
pineappledaddy
"Worst part for me is I don't have to poop until Im stuck in the car i get the urge before I leave and I try to go and it doesn't happen but when I'm the car without a bathroom within 50 miles it's like I've taken a laxative it's so terrible."
bknox1789
Extensions...
"Food delivery being over the estimated time."
leswhinin
"Or when the time keeps getting extended further and further and further and you have a 6 AM flight the next morning and then you check and it turns out the restaurant closed 2.5 hours ago but Doordash still says that a Dasher was waiting for an order and you have to give up and have sleep for dinner."
THROWRA302376
Midday Blues
"Having a 230 appointment the whole day is ruined."
LikelyGeoduck85
"I had one of those today! It was the only appt available this week, and fell right in the middle of an 8 hour shift. So I left and took my cat to the vet, brought her home, and went back to work. Honestly, not nearly as bad as if it was scheduled on an off day. Lucky to have a boss that understands pet needs, too."
verycoolfarts
If I hear that song again... I can't even think about it.
Swollen Glands
"I caught strep for the first time in my early twenties when working at a daycare/preschool, and it actually was torture. My throat was so swollen it felt like I was swallowing glass and every time I tried to swallow I couldn't really get all my saliva to go down so I was pretty sure I was just going to drown in my own spit."
Timely-Tea3099
It's Lost
"When you lose 5g and it kicks you back down to 4 and it won’t load a webpage even though 2 years ago it would’ve had it up in 2 seconds."
EggsAndBeerKegs
"Long story short with physics, it’s frequency vs power. Then providers think they need to upgrade some parts but not others. There’s a reason, but it’s a stupid reason."
hoosier268
"This makes me furious. How in the hell is having only 4g as slow as when we didn't have 4g at all years ago? Ridiculous."
FainOnFire
MOVE IT!!
"Being on one of those slow-moving people movers and stuck behind someone who is just standing there instead of walking."
bassistmuzikman
"I yelled 'get out of the way' this morning to a guy that was walking slow when a car was behind him and I need to get to where the car was coming from."
coolcrushkilla
Eternity
"Waiting at the doctor's office. (USA). They have the audacity to charge you a fee for being late and calling it a 'no-show' but damned if I've ever been to a 2pm appointment that actually began earlier than 2:30-2:45."
sexapotamus
"45 minutes is ok, in France we don't pay for doctors but it's possible to wait 2 or 3h after the original time of appointment."
Rabanaaash
"I remember having regular appointments for physical therapy that never started on time. The magazines in the waiting room were crap, so I started bringing a really long novel with me."
Annihilated_Matter
Forever
"Watching 2 unskippable 30 second ads, it's only a minute but it feels like an eternity."
Formal_Activity5040
Well there are worse things in life. We do whine a lot.
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