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Wedding Goers Reveal The Craziest Things They've Witnessed At The Ceremony

Wedding Goers Reveal The Craziest Things They've Witnessed At The Ceremony

Here comes the bride....

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Weddings are truly epicenters of drama. They're high stakes, and they involve the feelings of more than just the bride and groom spinning round and round at a solid 10. And out of the high stakes and the anxiety comes some crazy stories.

u/satori1997 wanted to hear from Reddit's experiences at weddings: What's the craziest thing you've witnessed at a wedding?

Buckle up cause here comes the freakin' bride.

Incongruous

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The bride delivered beautiful, heartfelt serious vows during the ceremony and when it came time for the groom to step up, he made a joke about how he can't wait to see her pregnant and fighting off zombies. It was mortifying and you could see the disappointment on her face.

Health Coordination

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I didn't actually see it, but when we arrived at the reception, after taking photos, there was an ambulance parked outside. My new wife and I were worried that something might have happened to an older relative.

Apparently our wedding coordinator (it was at a golf course) was epileptic, and had had a seizure. As it began, she turned to my father-in-law, said "I need help," and then collapsed.

They called for an ambulance, and while they were wheeling her out, she kept apologizing over and over, and even emailed us about it after. We were just glad she was alright.

Raised By Narcissists

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My parents threw a competing after-wedding brunch to my own---and didn't tell me or my wife. No one from my side came to ours because they assumed that plans had changed. My mother stole them all away with her dirty trick.

I found out about the plot when my aunt kissed me goodbye at the end of my wedding and said she'd see me tomorrow, at the hotel. The actual brunch was at my in-laws house.

When I confronted my parents about it, they said I should thank them for spending the money---and I should have been there.

I think this all happened because my parents are jealous of my in-laws, who are successful, well off, generous, and loving.

Conflicting Ceremonies

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My cousin's wedding about 25 years ago. It was in a Catholic church so the wedding was pretty long by definition.

At the same time as my cousin's wedding, there was a reception going on for another wedding, in the basement of the same church -- complete with DJ'ed music, which was filtering upstairs all throughout "our" service.

Literally, the exact moment that the Priest said "You may kiss the bride", the DJ downstairs started playing "Roll Out the Barrel."

Everybody cracked up -- except the bride's mother, who quit her membership in the church the next day. Extra drama points: the Priest was the bride's uncle.

Thanks, Uncle Lou

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Couple opened their wedding gifts at the reception and we all had to watch like it was a f-cking birthday party for a toddler. There were lots of gift comments that would have been better in private.

"Oh wow, a toilet brush? Uhh...thanks, Uncle Lou..." -eye roll and chuckle-

Awful Display

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My aunt decided to break her 23 year no drinking streak and have two glasses of red wine. Approaches my cousin and his wife (she did NOT like this girl), and informs them that their son looks nothing like my cousin and she just knows she slept with another man. While the room was quiet.

The Worst News

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Family of the bride got a notification during the ceremony that the child of a relative who couldn't attend was hit by a car and killed earlier in the day.

Tears of joy instantly turned to tears of grief. Everyone on the bride's side was just sobbing and everything, and the wedding was called off right then and there.

The bride and groom still haven't gotten married yet, almost 9 months later (they are still together, though), because the bride was really close to this child and was already upset that he and his mom couldn't come.

Classless

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The wedding was at a soup kitchen the couple sometimes volunteered at, presumably to remind us how selfless they are. Hundreds of homeless people were gathered outside and if the couple had said "hey, dress casual because if you're coming to our wedding you'll be helping serve the homeless" I would have been all for it - instead we stood there in nice clothes eating food while all the homeless people watched through the fence. Extremely awkward, totally classless. The homeless were essentially used as props. Also I had not really understood where this was or expected to run the homeless gauntlet to get in so I didn't prepare my kids who were traumatized and kept asking if we were going to lose our house. On the plus side, we got to attend a wedding in a dirty parking lot.

Slight Panic

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Stood up in a wedding recently where all the guys were standing at the altar and the bridesmaids came up the aisle to music...the whole thing was going smoothly. Then the doors shut and everyone turned to wait for them to open for the bride to walk in.

Except we waited, and waited. The usher (brother of the bride) poked his head out, left, came back and motioned for his mother to come back immediately.

She left, we waited more, usher called for one of the groomsmen (other brother) to come back there. He left, we waited.

Turns out the father of the bride had a massive kidney stone that must have started passing right when he was supposed to walk his daughter down the aisle.

The bride was a mess, the father was screaming in agony, the organ just kept playing music softly. Eventually we found out what was happening so everyone kind of relaxed that it wasn't the bride running away.

Jealousy

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Mother of the groom showed up in a white formal gown complete with a mini veil on a fascinator, sobbed loudly throughout the ceremony, and then tried to cut in every time the bride and groom danced.

Sssssslight Misssssscommunication

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Two California Kingsnakes slithered through the venue at my wedding. That was not planned.

Ignore The Children

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I saw a fight between two of the bride's uncles where one of them picked the other up and slammed him through a glass table in the lobby. Police and ambulance were called. The bride came walking out of the main room and I grabbed her, told her to go back in and ignore everything, and she was just like, "Ok, not gonna let whatever happened ruin my night." Wedding continued like nothing happened.

Cake Cake Cake Cake

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Only horrible for one person. The main hostess for the reception of about 30 guests. She carried in the 3-tier wedding cake, rather than using a cart. She not only dropped it, but fell face first into it on the floor. First dead silence...then a few giggles....and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen before. She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we're half drunk and don't care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1000 more in tips than she would have had that not happened.

Wedding Bell Rumble

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One wedding I was at a few years ago was pretty big (maybe around 100-200 people) and it erupted into a gigantic brawl. Like at least half the people there were involved.

I don't know how it started, aside from a bunch of people being way too drunk, but it started outside where people were smoking. I was sitting at my table having a drink and noticed that the dance floor like fully cleared out. I walked over to the bar and noticed a bunch of people fighting right at the entrance. Eventually it spread inside to the front entry way and near the bar. I sat at the bar watching it all unfold and had a drink.

An older guy got pushed through a window and had a huge gash on his head, the groom got a tooth knocked out, a lot of people had blood stained shirts and like 10 cop cars and a few ambulances showed up. I don't know if anyone got arrested because I didn't stick around too long after. The bride just went to the bathroom and changed into normal clothes, seemed pretty distraught. I think they're still married..

Buffet Burns

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I was a wedding DJ back in the day, so I've seen 'em all; but my all time favorite was at a VFW Hall in Wisconsin. The buffet was set up in the center of the dance floor, opposite the head table, with guests seated on either side and my set-up at the far end of the dance floor directly across from the head table. (Buffet was between us)

The caterers put sterno cans directly onto the paper table cloths covering the buffet...and the whole thing went up in flames about 10 minutes after their were lit. The Hall manager comes rushing out with a fire extinguisher, glances in one direction towards my thousands of dollars in equipment and in the other direction towards the head table...and proceeds to blast the buffet-flames, pointing the extinguisher right at the head table. Every dress, tux and hairstyle was ruined...to say nothing of all the food.

I Guess The Vows Were Good

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The translator got too moved by the vows and broke down in tears.

The couple were Irish and Lithuanian, and the ceremony was conducted in Lithuanian, by a Lithuanian officiant, a translator had been provided to allow the English speaking guests to follow proceedings, but she was so overwhelmed by the occasion, she broke down in floods of joyful weeping.

We assumed she was a family member of the bride helping out, but apparently she was an official Lithuanian government translator with no prior connection to anyone or the occasion...

New Pairings

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At a wedding reception one guy left his wife, and one lady left her boyfriend and the two of them left the reception together.

En Garde

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A friend of mine was a marine, so at his wedding he had invited a bunch of his old marine buddies. It was open bar, so everyone was drinking pretty heavily. The thing is, most of the marines showed up with their swords.

There was sword-fighting on the dance floor. It was amazing.

Yikes

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An ex of the groom showed up, took over the mic and said, 'Here's to your small ** and a lifetime of disappointing sex.'

Making Things Awkward

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One of the bridesmaids was close friends with the groom. For the entire wedding, she was making comments on how he was getting his first wedding out of the way and that she would be his second wife.

She was also married, to the best man.

Other highlights include dragging the photographer away to give her a personal photoshoot (photos of her and the groom, and a handful of just her posing) and before the grand entrance for the reception, sitting on the groom's lap and feeding him strawberries.

Both couples are still separately married.

The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

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shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

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Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.