I can't wait to get married; mostly because I love a good party. I also the love the festivities and joy, the open bar and the high drama.
Oh my the things I have seen at a wedding. I can't tell you how many times a friend and I have said... "I thought crap like this only happened in the movies?"
There really are some couples who you know are going to last forever and a day.
And then there are those unions when you are even more sure, are going to be a disaster from start to finish. I'd say it's all a 70/30 split... in the disaster direction.
Cheers to love. And let's get smarter about I do's people.
Redditoru/Olya_roowanted to hear all the deets about the times many of us have attended weddings when we knew the pair saying "I Do" wasn't meant for forever, by asking:
What wedding moment made you think: "They are not going to last long"?
I once attended a friend's wedding, that was held in a pool hall. The maid of honor wore a dress that advertised Tommy Hilfiger. And the priest was drunk, as was the uncle who's "eloquent" speech went as such:
"So and So and so and so. Good luck. You're idiots. I give it less than a year!"
Packed Up
Tasmanian Devil Love GIF by Looney TunesGiphy"He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception."
"He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered. They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes."
So Extra...
"I'M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!"
"My wife's brother just got married this past May. Bride's mother is a big DIY person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc… Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff."
"Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (grooms mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!! ) and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy. It's causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side."
All the Drama...
"My wife got invited to a client's daughter's wedding. The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid-of-honour's toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of 'if it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's my best friend that's marrying you'. The best-man's speech was a lusty declaration of "if it doesn't work out, call me, babe... like the previous time you called me."
"Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was 'this close' to standing up during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' thing. I'm still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally messed-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art."
7 months...
"I was maid of honour. Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff. Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (which she's passionate about) to the officiant."
"She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn't laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back. They lasted 7 months."
But Before...
GIF by AminéGiphy"Wedding videographer here, I think my favorite moment was when I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms and the girl next to me, the grooms ex, drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom a few months prior."
The joke was on the uncle. They lasted twenty years. They have four kids they can't afford, and are now remarried to people with police records. So what if they publicly share on Facebook their mutual hatred and and their regret of every wasted second of twenty years. They still lasted for a bit.
Hello?
adele hello GIFGiphy"I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony. In the middle of exchanging vows. It was the groom's. He took the call. They are divorced now. I believe it was a cousin calling, to ask if they were late for the wedding."
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The Witness
"I was at a wedding. I was a plus one for my date. The bride sat down drunk at our table and started talking to us. She then told me that she slept with her ex right before walking down the aisle. She screwed her ex in her wedding dress in the bridal suite. She then downed the last of my drink and went off to the dance floor. I was left speechless. I didn't know anyone but my date. Less than a year later the bride and groom were divorced."
"what did I do?"
"One of my friends got married, afterwards she looked at me, crying, and said "what did I do?" They were separated by the time the plane landed from their honeymoon. He was a good guy, she was a mess. The beta fish in the flower centerpieces lasted longer than the marriage."
- Boosully
See Ya...
"The bachelor party and the Bachelorette party were in Vegas at the same time. Across the hall from each other. The bride and groom got in a huge fight on the last night of the trip and when I was leaving I said "I'll see you guys at the wedding" to the groom and he replied "I'm not sure there's gonna be one." There was a wedding, but they were divorced within 18 months I believe."
Slow Dance
dirty dancing love GIF by Lionsgate Home EntertainmentGiphy"A fun light-hearted dance with the groom followed by a close and slow dance with her male best friend."
- codyish
Picture Takers
"As a wedding photographer I have been to more than my share of weddings.
- It was a REAL shotgun wedding. Dad didn't realize it would not stand up in court. Only time the groom was more excited to have photos than the bride.
- She wanted a limo, he thought a hearse would be better and kept doing Lurch impressions. From the Addams family.
- Don't know what happened... Sat down with bride and groom, filling out the contract. Got the deposit. He stood up, said forget it, and walked out. 2 months later I get told the wedding is off, 3 months later she calls to rebook, different groom. Day of the wedding I am at the church... Got the final payment the week before... No one shows... No one, just me and the DJ." - TexasTiger70
"uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do"
"She told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn't like him and that he was AWFUL in bed. She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner combo. Then she sobbed the ENTIRE morning, day-of."
"She ended up not getting any makeup done cause she wouldn't stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding ~35 minutes. She then said 45 minutes of "vows" that she had prepared (9 pages of things like inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them her husband), and then ALMOST didn't say "I do."
"Managed to get a, "uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do" out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say anything. I could go on for HOURS, but it was the most painful and awkward wedding I've ever been to. I've got my money on 10 months. We're 1 month in."
- brbdead
"I promise to love you"
"I've got two:"
"One of my good friends got married and I'd never met her before the wedding because "she's just shy." On the wedding day, she was belligerently drunk before the ceremony even started and couldn't even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. "I promise to love you"). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her. They lasted about 4 months."
"Another one was my wife's friend. She's a very conservative, religious white girl who married a black man. Most of her racist family didn't approve of the marriage and didn't show up. But she planned the whole marriage around race. Like a vanilla cake for her and a chocolate cake for him, the wedding colors were black and white, and even the meals were white meat for her side and dark meat for his. It was extremely uncomfortable as a guest. They lasted 2 years."
Maybe choose rum?
bride fail GIFGiphy"When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor."
- csdirty
Insanity
"My uncle when he broke his neck trying to breakdance on his stag do, He went down the aisle in a wheelchair. She divorced shortly after. He can walk again now but because of his surgery he cannot turn his neck. One of my go to stories because it's freaking insane."
being happy... for me...
"My brother's ex-wife. Throughout the exchange of vows, she was looking at everyone but my brother, making sure all eyes were on her. Later, she instructed the photographer (a family friend who was cheap) to "mingle" and get shots of people "being happy."
"Within 10 minutes, she'd summoned the photographer back shouting, "Whose wedding is this?! I meant get shots of people being happy for me." They broke up when she cheated on him. Apparently, that marriage she was desperate for was only good while it brought her attention."
- Stormaen
School Love
leonardo dicaprio love GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When they got married illegally in high school. Two 16 year olds from different states who had to lie on their certificate to get approved by the state. It was annulled when the father of the groom found out."
2 Left Feet
"Prior to my wedding I'd asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I'm uncoordinated, due to a disability. He blew me off and said we'd be fine. As we were dancing, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you? You're embarrassing me!!" We lasted 2 years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made."
Knockout
anne hathaway weddings GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When the groom ran up and punched the bride during the reception in some kind of drunken melee."
Marriage is way to expensive to be a mistake. So think it all through very carefully. And put your heart aside and lead with your mind when friends are warning you about red flags. If red flags start adding up... wave them high as you run, down the other end of the aisle.
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Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
"Not true."
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37
College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphyHis eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegion
Winona Ryder Omg GIFGiphyAn urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123
missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park GiphyMemories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
sailor moon cooking GIFYears
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
cleon42
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
Until_Morning
Take Me
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
ratchet0101
"Taco bell it is!"
No-Caterpillar4212
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
RDAwesome
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
MamaSweeney24
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
IDontControlTheFood
Perfect
Fried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Aggravating-Year-776
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
Details
Interested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
W0nderfu1W0nder
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
forewontoi
Broken
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
Curiousuk_South9566
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
oliv111
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
grilled-pbj
Sorry
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
ImStillaPrick
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
thegodfaubel
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
KingOfTheGoobers
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
anticlockclock
How Golden
Golden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
ATLAS_IS_LOST
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlateman
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyLack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mj
happy eric cartman GIF by South Park GiphyWhen they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheese
la respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphyViolently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmega
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyAllow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93
Dog Driving GIFGiphyWait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.