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People Break Down The Best Ways To Make Friends As An Adult

People Break Down The Best Ways To Make Friends As An Adult
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

As a kid, it’s easy to make friends. You don’t need to do much. Just share your pudding snack pack or make mud pies, and you have a new best friend.

As an adult, it can seem harder. You can’t really make mud pies anymore (in fact, that may be a way to drive off friends), and adults are a lot less open than kids, so it can be difficult to develop a rapport.

However, it’s not as hard as it seems to make friends, even as an adult. If you’re struggling, or even just looking for new ways to meet people, Reddit has got you covered!


Redditor BLANK asked:

"How the F do you make friends as an adult if you don't drink?"

Common Interests

"If you like doing things with your hands(wood/metal work/fabrics, etc...), electronics, or programming, hacker/makerspaces are great, they usually have themed events and classes, as well as social events, that's where I made my current friends when I moved to a new city."

– worldspawn00

Hobbies

"I'm 35. In the last 10 years I can honestly say I have 1 or 2 friends that I've kept close contact with. I started getting back into collecting sports cards right before the pandemic hit. Thru sharing my passion thru IG I have made probably at least 20 (online) friends and a few local friends now that I talk to every day and not just about our favorite hobby. Sh*t is weird."

– TryMyBalut

Giving Back

"Volunteer!"

– mygrossassthrowaway

"Volunteering is a great way to make friends as an adult. I was an Alcoholic and one of the hardest parts about stopping drinking was this exact thing, I was worried I would forever be alone if I didn’t meet people in bars anymore. Then I found volunteering. Working in a career field with similar people is also amazing."

– McRibEater

Not Exactly A Hole In One

"Borrow tools and actually give them back"

– bspartz85

"Who am I borrowing tools from if I don't already have friends?"

– wiskeytf

"I've got to consider you a top tier friend before I'm lending you any tools."

– Noxious89123

Doggy Bro

"Step 1. Own or borrow a dog."

"Step 2. Go to a dog park."

"Step 3. Use dog as wingman to make friends at dog park."

– ilovelamp84

Let's Do An Activity

"In my experience, adults don't want friends. They want activity partners. Pick an activity that you enjoy doing, find some people to do it with. If you're lucky, some friendships will organically arise from that. If you're REALLY lucky, they'll even stay friends with you after one or both of you stop doing that activity."

"But mostly, people just want activity partners."

– MyPeeSacIsFull

Keep On Moving

"Sports.

Climbing, archery, martial arts, European Martial Arts. Historical re-enactment, book and theater clubs."

– Pakislav

Chill Clubs

"Coffee clubs, or book clubs"

– CrackTotHekidZ

Fan Favorites

"Honestly? Being a part of a fandom. Found most of my close friends through either work or fandoms. For me it's kpop, musicals, DnD, etc You just need to find your people :)"

– LemonJuuuuice

Yummy In My Tummy!

"I cook for people. Invite a few people you know for dinner or a bbq. Ive moved cities and countries several times and 1 thing i learnt is everyone loves good food!"

– electric_monk

It can be hard to make friends as an adult, but as long as you get out in the world and find those you vibe with, you’ll never be alone!

The Absolute Stupidest Things People Have Heard An 'Alpha Male' Say

Reddit user PrototypeShadowBlitz asked: 'Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the "alpha male" community?'

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154

"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"

– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.



A shocked young man cups his face with his hands
Nachristos/Unsplash

Who doesn't love a first date?

The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.

Even those first-date butterflies are fun.

You're hoping this could be the one.

Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.

Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.

Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.

Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:

"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"

Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.

I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.

Promises

Players Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy

“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"

FriendNegative6013

Honk Off

"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"

"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"

He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"

"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."

blu3teeth

Circa 2005

"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."

"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."

"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."

"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"

"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."

mageakeem

Safety First

"Does anyone know you're here?"

Baby-hazell

"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."

Hachiko75

Previously...

canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy

"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."

REDDIT​

What happened to putting your best foot forward?

My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.

Mirror Mirror

"'My ex looks way better than you.'"

Academic_Ingenuity84

"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."

"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."

LurkerOrHydralisk

Oh Baby

"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"

BuffaloInCahoots

"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"

phillmybuttons

"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."

ashoka_akira

Family Dynamics

"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."

Kiunan5

"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."

Digital_Punk

"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."

Bobtheguardian22

Be Serious

Shouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy

"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."

295DVRKSS

It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.

Or do they really believe what they say?

person walking while carrying shopping bags
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Happiness is relative.

The idea that money can't buy happiness sounds good, but the reality is money can buy many things that contribute to our overall well-being.

And isn't comfort happiness?

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