Warning Signs That Someone Doesn't Have Their Sh*t Together
A lot of people honestly go through life barely holding everything together, but some people just totally don't have it together in the first place.
Some folks are really good at hiding that fact, but there are usually some pretty clear signs.
Redditor erestupapi asked:
"What is a sign someone doesn't have their sh*t together?"
Airing Their Dirty Laundry
"They post all of their drama online and then complain that people are in their business"
"Love especially the detailed posts about how 'some people' need to mind their own business, and how such and such isn’t even true because blah blah blah. 😂 the best"
"I figured out long ago that if someone in a LTR starts plastering social media with 'We're so happy! We are SO IN LOVE! We are going to be together FOREVER!', things are on the verge of reverting to 'It's complicated.'"
Whose Fault Is It Anyway?
"When you blame everyone else for your self-inflicted problems."
"And vice-versa, by blaming yourself for everything regardless of whose fault it is."
"This is how I turned my life around at 22. I had a series of problems in my life and I took no ownership in causing them. I had a sudden realization that I was the main cause of each of my problems, and started shaping up from that day on. Unfortunately, once I had that realization, it made me see those issues in friends and family, and those relationships suffered because those people refused to see the same thing in themselves."
It's Only Borrowing If You Pay It Back
"Always asking to borrow money"
"My boyfriend gets called by his “best friend” weekly and asks him if he can lend him tons of money. Meanwhile he buys the most expensive jewelry for his girlfriend. Yeah he’s not well"
"This. Ironically, my high-earning friends are the one that always gets involved with debt. It's funny how they earn 2-4x my salary but they still got the nerve to borrow money from me."
You Can Just Block People, You Know
"New phone number/social media accounts every few months."
"I lost contact with a lot of people because of that. I constantly got chained texts of "this is my new number!" Or a Facebook post saying to send them your number because they got a new number. I just stopped responding. And when the new social media accounts were created and I got a new friend request I would end up just not accepting after the second one."
"And it wasn't like once in a while either. Every few months. It happened every few months with the same people."
"When I was younger I knew someone like this. He’d get blocked by women on Facebook or his number would be blocked so every year or two he’d get a new number or make a new Facebook so he’s suddenly unblocked."
Trying Too Hard
"Constantly posting motivational videos and quotes. I mean like all the time."
"Or the ones constantly posting over top love declarations about their spouse/SO. Things are likely not well in that relationship."
"Hahahaha this is a massive red flag for a breakdown. Also posting loyalty memes 'never take my kindness for weakness' with a picture of a tired lion."
"and the memes with some dude smoking that is about how they are the 'black sheep' of the family but everyone comes to them when sh*t 'gets real'"
"You can always tell your friend is going through some sh*t in their life when their social media posts all of a sudden have an uptick in positive and motivational quotes. It's like a call for help or something"
A Perfect Act
"Plot twist, no one has their sh*t together. Some are just really good at faking it."
"I like 'Everybody is on their first try at getting through life'"
"Worked with 'highly intelligent; execs. They sure as f**k were acting."
"I’m making my way up the career ladder atm and I’m faking it half the time. I realised a little while back that the guys above are as well. Life is messy, barely anyone has their sh*t together all the time. Just some are better at riding the the chaos than others and are better at dealing with the unexpected."
"What I find is that some compassion and a little self awareness goes a long way. That’s the difference between a crap senior exec and one that you want to work for."
Just The Runs
"If they have loose stool and do not eat enough fiber"
"Technically correct. The best kind of correct."
The Glory Days
"Most of their small talk/idle chat consists of their high school days even though they graduated years ago."
"Oh yes. My husband had a friend like this when we were dating. They knew each other in high school and that’s all the friend would talk about. I saw this slow but steady pulling away that my husband did because there was no 'now', there was no 'future' with this friend. If he couldn’t talk about that crazy time they painted all the footballs with tar, he’d have nothing to say."
That Was A Lie
"Becoming easily agitated and constantly saying 'I don't care'"
"My mother every day of my childhood."
"Honestly, someone who would identify as a workaholic and over-schedules themselves. Always seems to me to be a person who doesn't like sitting alone with their thoughts too long. Not enough balance. *not referring to those of us who have to work like that due to economic status."
"These people are great at parties (if they even bother to show). You get to hear all the humble bragging and how they 'are so tired and busy all the time' /s"
"They always slide in the fact that they are successful and highly sought after for work. Lord help the people who don't think they're in control of their own schedule and don't know what 'no' is."
Even the person who seems like they've got it all figured out might not really be as in control of their life as they seem.
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People Break Down Which Things Everyone Should Experience At Least Once In Their Lives
Especially in today's economy, with many of the stresses that appeared during the pandemic still hanging over our heads, it can be easy to forget to look for the joyful experiences in our days.
And some of these experiences can be truly life-altering, so much so that everyone should experience them at least once.
Redditor HappyNuisance asked:
"What's something everyone should experience at least once in their life?"
Mend a Broken Heart
"Heartbreak... it sucks and is one of the absolute worst feelings you can imagine but it helps if you experience that younger in life rather than, at say, 60 because it helps you grow as a person!"
Provide Hospice Care
"I have a weird one... When someone is in hospice and needs 24-hour care, if possible, take them into your home, learn all you can about what to do so you don't need hospice coming out whenever something comes up."
"We did this for my mother as she died of pancreatic cancer back in 2010 and my kids (ages six and nine at the time) got to see and experience a loved one's death. They saw it wasn't scary or anything to be afraid of. They learned the true meaning of compassion, love, humility, and respect."
"I consider it an honor and a privilege to have taken care of my mom while she was on her deathbed."
Reconnect with Nature
"Go camping. Spend some time in the wilderness with no electronics, no demands, and (hopefully) no stress. Just detach from the modern world for a short while and enjoy the return to nature."
Disconnect from Technology
"Being well and absolutely disconnected. No phones, no GPS. I last had that experience in the early 90s. Being somewhere with someone you trust and the two of you are the only people who know where you are and what you are doing."
Visit Another Country
"As an American, an extended stay in a foreign country. Being stationed in Europe for several years was mind-blowing. You really cannot grasp the completely sheltered, ethnocentric bubble that we Americans live in until you are able to spend some extended time outside of it."
"Also, as an American, it is difficult to grasp how truly ancient Europe is, and similarly, I noticed that non-Americans have difficulty grasping how truly enormous America is."
"Hunting, fishing, gardening, gathering, whatever it takes to supply yourself with a food source, independently, for at least a few days. It really opens your eyes to the time and labor required to feed one person, let alone billions. It also makes you acutely aware of the delicate balance we live each day with food supplies."
"Experiencing a major sporting event in person. For me, the most important memorable ones were football, both European and American. I was fortunate enough to experience the World Cup in Germany and have been to several NFL games in the U.S."
"It is incredible to be in a massive arena with 80,000 other humans, feeling the energy, feeling the ground shake. It gives you a bit of insight into what it must have been like in the Roman heydays of the Coliseum. It also helps you to grasp the enormity of a natural disaster, when you see what such a large number of people actually looks like."
"I could go on for days, lol (laughing out loud)."
Immerse Yourself in Another Culture
"Another culture. And I don’t mean as a tourist where you have all the comforts of home. To fully absorb and immerse yourself in the lives of that culture. To eat their foods, drink their drinks, and do as they do."
Go Scuba Diving
"I went night diving on my honeymoon in Bonaire and saw the ostracods (little bioluminescent shrimp) lighting up the water all around me. The most beautiful, magical thing I have ever experienced."
Remember to Do the Silly Things
"On road trips through the Midwest, I play a game called Transition. It’s where we try to find a cow 'in transition' which means the cow is either getting up or sitting down."
"Think about it. You always see cows sitting or standing. Have you ever seen a cow get up or sit down?"
"Now go and have 'fun' with that, Reddit."
"Gratitude for being alive. And I don't mean it like after a near-death experience. I'm talking about the epiphany you get doing the simplest task or after a bad day. The sudden realization of being alive and being able to feel however you're feeling at the moment is something everyone should experience and be grateful for."
See a Solar Eclipse
"Witnessing a total solar eclipse."
"Totally life-changing. Even having a full understanding of what is happening, I totally get how people over the millennia would find this to be an omen from the gods."
Feel Financial Independence
"Even if it's only for a short period of time: full financial independence while being single. You can pay your own bills, you have your own place, and you have full freedom over your free time."
"Whether it's staying in and binge-watching Netflix, or going out and sitting amongst strangers, your time is your own. No kids. No spouse or significant other. I find this is when you really get to know and understand yourself."
Gain a New Perspective on Home
"Everyone should experience the joys of traveling to a foreign land at least once in their lifetime, even if it's just to realize how much they love their own toilet."
"Imagine discovering new cultures, cuisines, and the thrill of trying to communicate with locals using just charades and a phrasebook. Trust me, it's a life-changing experience that'll give you a new appreciation for your home and a killer accent to boot."
Don't Miss Out on the Ocean
"I took a friend to see the ocean for the first time, something I had seen regularly since I was a child. He was awestruck and we just sat there watching for about an hour."
Listen to the Sound of Snow Falling
"The sound of it snowing. I laid on the ground, in the snow at night in the Alaskan wilderness, in December, it's so peaceful."
Give Thanks Instead of Regrets
"Last year I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. In the days and weeks leading up to my kidney removal, I would get up early and just sit outside on our porch swing and watch the sunrise."
"So many mornings I just sat in silence and realized how much I would miss the sounds of morning birds, the breeze, the sun touching the tops of the trees, and the rest of life waking up. I realized how much I would miss living. I couldn't imagine not experiencing life and everything it brings you in every moment if you only take a moment to appreciate it."
"I know this isn't quite the reason you meant, but it was the first time in a long time a really felt connected to everything and it has made me more thankful for those little quiet moments."
All of these beautiful sentiments are relatively straight-forward, if not simple, in principal, but their impact is powerful and can leave a person forever changed.
Imagine how fulfilling it would be to cross all of these off of your list.
Guys Divulge Which Things All Men Secretly Do
When it comes to certain behaviors, it's a gender thing.
Our different anatomy makes men specifically do things–like adjust their crotch area in public or just give up altogether and spread their legs while sitting on a subway train to make themselves comfortable.
But it's not just about moving a stuck testicle.
There are other peculiarities exclusively associated with men.
Curious to find out more about what else men typically do, Redditor Sythanytx asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is one thing that all guys do?"
Here's some behind the scenes examples of what guys do concerning what's between their legs.
"Pretending to put our hands in our pocket when actually we're actually trying to untangle our underwear."
"The side step to unstick your junk from your thigh."
Here's what happens in the men's room.
"Give each other space at the urinals. 9 times out of 10, the only time you will see 2 guys using directly adjacent urinals is when there's no other choice. Otherwise, the rule is every other urinal, and we're pretty good at it."
Focus On The Task At Hand
"The stare blankly at the wall when peeing at a urinals."
"Looking to the side is punishable by death."
These behaviors occur before accomplishing a task.
"Pressing the trigger on your drill a couple of times as soon as you pick it up."
"What my brother calls the 'guy check.'"
"We slap our pockets to make sure we have our wallet, keys, and phone."
Maybe it's a guy thing.
Clearing The Path
"Kick rocks off of the sidewalk or down the street."
A Boulder Move
"enjoy dropping big rocks into water etc."
Hear Him Roar
"One time I was in a walking path that crosses over a lake. Two little boys were running to the shore and back up to toss in rocks. I walked down to the shore picked up a bowling size rock and threw it off the bridge for them. I was a god in their little eyes. Lol."
"I have no idea wtf is going on in most of my friends personal lives... Known them for years."
"Critically think if the next woman that talks to us is flirting with us or is trying to be a friend.... usually we fail anyways."
Here's a twist, if you will.
It's no secret men have an advantage with peeing while standing.
But here's my personal secret, and it's not something all men do.
At home, I pee sitting down. It's for a sanitary reason. I don't want to make a splash and have micro droplets accumulating on the bathroom floor, because, gross.
I wish my husband felt the same; but, I can't complain.
He always puts the seat back down for me when he's emptied out.
People Divulge Subtle Signs That Someone Grew Up Poor
It is estimated that nearly 37.9 million people in the United States currently live in poverty.
A shameful statistic, to say the least.
Challenging as it is, however, growing up poor is nothing to necessarily be ashamed of, as many influential people in this world came from humble beginnings.
Even so, many people who grew up poor and found success and financial stability in adulthood still try to hide their childhood from others. But those in the know, or who had the same experience, tend to notice the subtle, tell-tale signs of those whose childhood was anything but luxurious.
Redditor Puzzled-Painter3301 was curious to learn how people could tell if someone grew up poor, leading them to ask:
"What's a sign that someone grew up poor?"
Their Relationship With Food
"When you can’t finish a meal, pulling it apart to at least eat the meat because 'that’s the expensive part'."
"Or just force feeding yourself any meal you buy because you have to feel like you didn’t waste."
"Being hypersensitive to any light left on, door left open, opening the fridge too much, running water too long, etc, because you’re trained to minimize utilities."
"Never pouring more than 1/2 a glass of any drink when at someone else’s house (except water) because you don’t want to be seen as wasteful/gluttonous."
"Making weird snacks out of food that isn’t supposed to be a snack - ex."
"Eating dry ramen noodles like chips, Kool Aid with sugar and your finger to make your own fun dip, eating Kraft cheese slices/cold hotdogs/other things that are normally just a part of a meal."- kountryt
"Scanning the menu for the cheapest options possible when at a restaurant."
“'It’s ok the soup is really enough for me.'”- Call_the_Green_Man
"I grew up poor and my husband grew up middle class."
'Whenever we have guests, I am constantly asking people if they got ENOUGH food."
"'Is anyone still hungry? I can make something else!'"
"My husband will inquire about the quality of the food and if it is to everyone's liking."
"I think when you grow up poor, food is very much quantity over quality."- NoMaineKoonsAllowed
Resistance To Let Go
"Never replacing anything unless there’s absolutely no way to use the old thing anymore, and going to absurd lengths to keep something 'still useable'.”- boymanpal
"Odd hoarding behaviours of things you probably should have gotten rid of out of fear you won’t be able to replace them easily."
"I keep a stack of boxes broken down because there’s still this fear in the back of my mind that I’ll have to move again at a moment’s notice."
"I make a decent salary now and have lived where I am for nearly 7 years, but I still can’t part with those boxes despite the space they take up."
"Under the bed, behind the chest of drawers."
"Yeah. I still have ‘em."- Mr_Lumbergh
"Difficulty throwing things away."- OldSamVimes
"Not that wealthier people can't be sentimental.'
"But my dad, whose parents grew up in the rural South during the great depression, wants to keep every little thing of my mom's."
"He would prefer to keep her bedroom as is."
"I always wondered why he wanted to keep it like that."
"But then I realized, the only thing we have left is my mom's ashes in an urn."
"There was no funeral, no memorial, (she didn't want any and there was no one to come anyways) no tombstone."
"Nothing that feels tangible, personal, etc."
"We don't have the luxury of beautiful personal mausoleums, or headstones, or anything else in the Western death culture."
"My mom's bedroom, and all her stuff is the closest we will ever have to a memorial for my mom.'
"It's a tomb, without a body in it."- InsomWriter
Always Looking For A Sale
"Never buying clothing at full price."
"It just feels illegal."- Totally-trapped
Justifying A Purchase
"For me, I have what I call 'poverty mentality.'"
"While I can afford new shoes and clothes, they have to be falling apart for me to replace."- ciarrabobeara
Appreciation For Nice Things
"Still being marveled by an ice maker and side by side doors."- Difficult_Let_1953
"Realizing I wanted to have the house that all my kids friends came over to hang out at because that wasn't really an option for big chunks of my childhood."- sykojaz
Strictly Sticking To A Budget
"Immense financial anxiety."- natandsneks
Hiding Their Smile
"In the US I’d say poor dental history or teeth."
"Dental work is a luxury."
"Overall, I’d say many hoarders grew up poor because they are so afraid of not having something if they’ll need it so they keep everything."- Leadsingerofthebandd
Should we notice people doing these things, it is of the utmost importance not to judge.
In fact, one can only admire people with an undying appreciation for beautiful things and who never underestimate the value of one dollar.
When talking to a friend who brings up one of our favorite books, celebrities, or tv shows, we often find ourselves saying we're "obsessed".
Our excitement is often met with a sneer from our friend, but we don't give it much thought.
Owing to the fact that even if they're better at containing their excitement than we are, deep down everyone has an obsession of some sort.
Naturally, it's not particularly healthy to be "obsessed" with anything, as nothing should take up the majority of our time.
Even so, if one were to take a very close look at society as a whole, we might find that just about everyone has an unhealthy obsession they just can't break.
"What’s an unhealthy obsession people have?"
"Love to hate."- Odd_Adhesiveness4804
"Being in a relationship no matter the cost."- hibbletyjibblety
"Settling for less just because you think you can't be alone is not healthy."- shutyourmouf03
Aging Gracefully Always Pays Off
"People are obsessed with youth and some people will do anything to maintain its appearance."- Mad-farmer
There's So Much More Beyond Your TV Screen
"24 hour news cycles."- SuvenPan
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
"Having to be first."
"It's okay if you beat me to the pump, or if you beat me to the grocery checkout line."
"It's okay if you get to the freeway exit before me, or pull in front of me on the highway."
"I'm patient, and it's a virtue."
"Have to credit my father who taught me this."
"He was an airline captain for over 30 years who is a very patient man."
"Thanks Dad."- Look-At-The-AliensHumming Season 17 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
There Are So Many Better Ways To Be Social
"Obsession with their social media image."- knovit
Has No One Seen All About Eve?
"An obsession with everything celebrities are doing."- Streak_Free_Shine
There's A Reason Paid Vacation Days Exist!
"Everybody needs a break, not just every once in a while, but often."- RoKe3028
To Each Their Own
"An obsession with each others lives."
"Seriously just let people live as long as they’re not hurting anyone just leave people the f*ck alone."- MiseinToxicity
"Other people's sex lives."- huiscloslaqueueWorry About Yourself Saints And Sinners GIF by BounceGiphy
Ironically, Making Calls Is One The Last Things They're Used For Now...
"It's one thing to keep yourself busy, it's another to never let yourself be bored."
"Being bored is important sometimes, it makes you think/helps clear your head.'
"Phones make it ridiculously easy to never let yourself get bored, to the point where it ain't healthy."- Crestego
"Being on their phone all the time, especially while driving."
"I see this literally every day, despite laws against it."
"I constantly have to honk at people sitting at green lights, because they can't possibly be inconvenienced with their own thoughts for 2 minutes sitting at a red light."- dallased25
Mistakes Are How People Learn...
"Being right all the time."- lee24kSheldon Cooper Rules GIF by CBSGiphy
It's very easy to scold or ridicule someone for being inordinately fond of someone or something.
However, before passing judgment, always a good idea to take a step back and examine our own behavior.
As we may be no different at all.