There is an age old question that has been getting more traction surrounding sex for partners the last decade or so.
And that is... "is just one enough?"
Were we really meant to only be with one person forever?
There are so many flavors to taste.
What if your partner wants more cookie dough with your strawberry?
RedditorPineapple-Statuswanted to hear everyone's thoughts on opening the bedroom to others. They asked:
"What would you do if your long term SO suddenly wants to have sex with other people?"
I say I'd be ok with it, but I'm remembering my last relationship and I feel like I'm not a "put my $ where my mouth is type" on this issue.
Bye
Jimmy Fallon Reaction GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Wish her well and spend the next 2 years getting myself back to a place where I am ready to get hurt again."
wickedblight
It's Time to Roll On...
"Personally I would leave them."
"I think they're the ones leaving you. I don't think the relationship changes at that point; I think it ends. If you have a monogamous relationship, they are telling you they want to end that. They might be suggesting starting a new, non-monogamous relationship, but that is a separate thing. The original relationship is over."
octopoddle
ethical non-monogamy...
"OP, it's no different than anything else they want: you either agree and stay together, disagree but stay together, disagree and break up, or even agree and break up. What you're talking about is called 'ethical non-monogamy.'" The seminal book to read is called The Ethical Sl*t."
"It basically boils down to be whatever you want, just don't lie about it. The tricky thing is that this is something that was not present before, but is present now. So it's a potential fork in your road. If you're against it, it's up to your SO to decide if sex with other people is more important to them than a life with you."
Tokugawa
a different story...
"I think it depends too how intently they're interested. If it's a thing they bring up because they're curious but it's not a dealbreaker for them, I'm fine with that even if I don't want to proceed. A solid relationship involves open communication, and it'd make me happy if my partner trusted us and our bond enough to voice that curiosity with me."
"If it's something their heart's absolutely set on, then it's a different story. Either way, it's kind of strange to me how these posts always assume simply asking your partner how they feel about opening the relationship means they're now wholey invested in the poly lifestyle and they'll resent you or cheat if you say no."
donkeynique
Others
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"Happy that we have common interest, sad that it's different 'other people."
i_lick_icicles
Sex is always an issue. Remember when it was just fun?
Mine
angry youre mine GIF by Team CocoGiphy"Leave her. I’m far too possessive and jealous to be able to mentally accept polyamory. If she has a desire to be with other people I’m not going to stand in her way but I’m not going to be there when she gets home either."
Thiek
Not Me...
"Break up. My parents were poly and it's just not for me. I've been honest with every relationship I've been in that I'm not interested in any type of open relationship. If they want to be with someone else that's fine but we'll be over. My husband is aware of this and on board (and has been for over twenty years!). So if he came to me with this yes I would be heartbroken but I'm not willing to budge on this and it would be the end of our relationship."
GoldDustWitchQueen
Let's Talk
"Counseling time! We're married. I'm chronically ill (stage 4 breast cancer) and have no libido. We try to make intimacy work, and obviously in that case it wouldn't be working. So. Time for a pro to sort out the marriage, and possibly a sex therapist for me."
insertcaffeine
Awkward Positions
"I’ll put myself hypothetically in this position. My partner and I only want each other. We’ve made this abundantly clear to each other. However, if she came to me with desire to open our bedroom and she wanted to sleep with people outside our marriage."
"I would simply express how I vehemently do not an open bedroom and that it would kill any desire I have to want her, be with her, love her, etc. Our couple dynamic has been working well through our ups and downs. Involving some stranger in the ONE thing I find most sacred with my partner is the best way for me to lose any interest or passion for the relationship."
RedFlaim
Farewell
Love You Goodbye GIF by truTV’s At Home with Amy SedarisGiphy"Break it off, because they definitely already have someone in mind and you telling them no won't change the fact that they were only one step away from following through with it."
Caressticles
Well it feels like a lot of people still believe in one partner, happily ever after. Good for y'all. But big props to these couples who have open and honest conversations about their wants and needs.
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That doesn't mean we should refrain from indulging every now and then in spending money on the things we really want.
But sometimes, the things we thought we really desired in our heart of hearts turn out to be impulsive purchases on things–like new clothes we never end up wearing despite looking great on us when we tried them on in the dressing room.
That is an example of buyer's remorse. And we have paid the price, so to speak, for spending frivolously on inconsequential things.
Curious to hear from previous customers of having a moment of regret, Redditor pepperpeppington asked:
"What is your greatest buyers remorse?"
The concept seemed legit, but these customers realized they had a lot to learn after committing to new prospects.
The Wrong Perspective
"Got talked into buying progressive lens glasses. I spend most of my day either reading, writing, or staring at a computer screen. With the new glasses I could only read things if it was in one particular spot in front of me or if I tilted my head to an odd angle. Hundreds of dollars down the drain. Ended up going back to buy reading glasses and they worked better than the progressives ever did."
– tangcameo
Learning About Credit The Hard Way
"Back in the late 90’s when I was just graduating high school, I went to the mall one day (Lazarus to be exact, I know, I’m old) and some salesperson walked up wanting to know if I wanted a credit card. $500 max to be exact. Being the naive dumbass I was, I signed and got my card that day and bought $500 worth of clothing."
"It didn’t occur to me then about high interest rates and missing payments. It ended up costing me around $1500-$2000 to pay this sh*t off because I missed some payments. Teach your kids how to manage money and to be on the lookout for vultures. You’ll be doing them a favor."
– 1980pzx
That Sinking Feeling
"A Leesa mattress. I was super happy with it when we first got it because it was SO comfortable, but after a year it started sinking, and after three years I feel like I wake up in a trough every morning. I definitely need to get a new mattress because my back feels so much better any time we sleep on hotel beds."
"It's pissing me off that it only lasted three years but I've rotated that f'ker so many times that there's a trough in every direction. And it's still so comfortable when I first lie down, too."
– Tagracat
Electrical appliances and cars are essential, but these Redditors wanted the best of the best and thought the high price tag instantly made things better.
Spoiler alert–it didn't.
Fancy Fridge
"Latest remorseful purchase was my ~$2k GE refrigerator. It lasted 2.5 years and was too expensive to repair. It would have been 1,200 to fix it and even then the repair guy couldn't guarantee that it would work properly."
"I found a 'scratch and dent' Whirlpool for the same cost, brand new. So far, so good."
"ETA: before this, I've never had issues with GE appliances. This is either a fluke, or the brand is deteriorating."
– ohgeebus_notagain
Auto Disaster
"An Audi Q5 hybrid. We had a decent warranty so we thought we were okay. $6000 in repairs in one year of owning it. We traded it in and got upside down on a new car, but it was worth it to get out of that dumpster fire of a car."
– Hdhmusic
Going Nowhere Fast
"Dumping 10 grand into a car worth 7k just because I wanted to make it faster. I still have the car and I love it, but that was not a smart financial decision, and I wouldn't do it again."
– Cuss-Mustard
People didn't put any thought into these purchases and instantly regretted it.
It Didn't Compute
"My last laptop. I didn't really research properly, cheaped out and have spent the last three years regretting it."
– NarrativeScorpion
Hard To Swallow
"I went to a burger place near Brisbane in Australia with my brother. They advertised that they had the 'hottest burgers' in the world and if you could finish, they put your name on the wall. I started to realise my mistake when the burger came out with latex gloves and a huge glass of milk. By the 2nd bite, i felt my soul start to detach from my body and my brain was recoiling in horror as pure lava was going down my throat. Halfway through, while trying to stop the tears flowing down my face, I said no more. For days after the burger my intestines couldn't handle anything stronger then yoghurt and the pain started again everytime I went to the toilet."
– shadownight311
Taking A Stab At It
"A 400$ dagger back in 2002.. still have it, never knew what to do with it."
– Quebec00Chaos
Went With The Flow
"A kayak that never gets used. Spent over 1 year's allowance (200$) on that thing."
– Mad4dog
Just A Stick
"buying a harry potter style wand at age 9 thinking it would actually work. it was hella expensive too."
– beheadedcharmander
Such A Waste
"Squatty Potty. What the f'k was I thinking? I could've just used a box, or literally stacked some books on top of each other, but to be fair I was pretty desperate."
– RazzmatazzLiving6970
So I saw the coolest leather jacket at a thrift store. Because I was so enamored of it–and the size was a perfect fit–I bought it there on the spot, no refunds.
I was thrilled about the prospect of looking like a greaser (because that's so my style...not), I realized I wouldn't be wearing it for a while considering L.A.'s blistering summer temperatures. Sadly, by the time temperatures cool down, I'll have forgotten all about it.
It will remain in my closet along with my other outfits I haven't worn in ages.
Careful spending money on too many clothes. You'll wind up donating them to a thrift store where another sucker like me will make an impulsive purchase.
Whether it's cuddling with a pet who adores you no matter what kind of day you're having, or sharing some cheesecake with old friends in the kitchen, we must not forget to revisit the things that bring us peace in a chaotic world.
Curious to hear what strangers online consider calming, Redditor subornion asked:
"What are some VERY comforting facts?"
In moments of reclusiveness, knowing we share the planet with other species can be a source of relief.
When Talking To Rabbits
"You can talk to your pet rabbit by quickly pushing your lips downwards and upwards as if you were trying to look up your nose in a mirror. Do it quickly and you're chatting. It mimics the nose movements they make and you can see them wiggle their noses faster out of interest. Copy their rhythm to and watch them talk back."
"Also, stomping your foot like they do as well as turning your back on them when annoyed is understood too. If they have chewed something they shouldn't have you can stomp one foot and turn around with your arms folded. Have a look over your shoulder to make sure they see you. They should come to check on you and if they don't stomp and make sure they see your back is turned. Eventually they get it and come over to make sure your ok. Then let the nose waggling commence."
"You can expect them to do the same to you as well, like when you clean their enclosure."
– B3ARDGOD
Wonders Of Evolution
"The North Pacific humpback whale population is estimated to be 15x greater then it was 60 years ago."
– horticultured-harlot
Hey, Lovebug
"I once found a ladybug in my room in the middle of winter. I tried to look up if I could feed it somehow, and found countless other people asking the same question."
"The world is full of people who have compassion enough to feed a lone bug in the winter."
– virora
Our Feathered Friends
"Crows will let other crows know if you’re a good person. Feeding a crow in your backyard can quickly become many crows over time since the rumour spreads. And nearby crows in your area will know you as one they like. They can also be known to be protective of you and even bring you gifts. Sufficed to say, crows are one of the most intelligent creatures on the planet and they are truly underrated."
– BaldEagleNor
People share wisdom pertaining to your health, well-being and healing.
You Will Come Out Of It
"Nurse here."
"If you're having a general anaesthetic for a routine operation, and worried about dying while under, please be aware there are about 7 different 'levels' of stuff we can do to bring you back."
"So if the thing we normally do doesn't work, we've got plan B, then we've got plans C, D, E, F, G& H. ( and we rarely need to even go to Plan C, let alone the rest!)"
"It's ridiculously rare for you to never wake up from a routine op, of course it happens occasionally, but for every case you've heard about it happening, there's THOUSANDS of identical operations where it didn't. I've been qualified 15 years and it's literally never happened anywhere I've worked."
– Icy-Revolution1706
Wonders Of Medicine
"A middle or even low income people in developed countries are living a much more comfortable life than the richest people centuries or even millennia ago, in large part thanks to modern medicine making death from a mere infection no longer a near guaranteed death."
– Beat_Saber_Music
There's Still Time To Ditch Bad Habits
"If you quit smoking by age 40, your life expectancy is the same as a non-smoker."
"Also: it's never too late to quit."
– TheRuinedMap
A Good Investment
"Switzerland has implemented a scheme ‘Time Bank’; which is an old-age assistance programme, under which, people can volunteer to look after the elderly who require assistance, and then, the number of hours they spend with or caring for seniors gets deposited in their individual social security account. Eventually, when the volunteer reaches that old age when he or she requires support, this ‘Time Bank’ can help them by providing time-based services which include consultations, babysitting, hairdressing, gardening, tutoring, or any other time-consuming job in addition to being looked after by a volunteer as well. About 34 countries are trying to apply this scheme."
"Very Wholesome and humane!"
– ek_su_as
It's the little things that can be uplifting when we're feeling low.
Best Neighbor Ever
"All of the cardigans Mister Rogers wore on camera were knit by his mother."
– vgvvhvhjvvb
Tough Allies
"There is a group of bikers called bikers against child abuse who support child abuse victims in court by looking tough and giving the kids confidence to testify against their abusers it’s actually an international group."
– buffkirby
Intersteller Protector
"Jupiter has been protecting earth from almost every stray asteroid strike coming in from out of the solar system since the planets first formed."
– PirateKilt
On The Mend
"The ozone layer is slowly repairing itself."
– BetterthanMew
When I found out that pets will forgive you when you step on them, not only did that factoid bring much joy, it also made me wonder why people aren't as capable of letting minor grievances roll off their backs.
Animals are much more intellectual than we give them credit for. And knowing that my future Siberian Husky will always have my back no matter what makes me sleep at night.
'Til the day I become a Husky daddy, I'll be thinking of that to bring me a sense of calm in any kind of storm.
Knowing how much work it takes to get one stupid little plate of salad might seriously change the way people relate to food, the land, water rights... just about everything changes when you understand the effort and balance it takes just for survival.
Reddit User bartertownbeer11 asked
"What should everyone learn how to do?"
You have my thoughts, let's see what Reddit says.
Swimming
Cat Swimming GIF by ViralHogGiphy"Swim There’s no downside to knowing and it could save your life"
- polp54
"You don't need to be an expert swimmer, but everyone should be able to swim at least a little. A terrible number of people (of all ages) drown every year despite being a very short swim to safety."
- brufleth
"My dad who could not swim made sure us kids knew how to swim. I made sure my kids could too."
- PrisonerV
"May I add: if you do not know how to swim, take a very deep breath and relax completely. Spread your arms and legs and just let your body relax completely. Once you found out that the human body actually floats start breathing slowly. No one I know knew that and everybody is amazed how my lazy butt just floats around without me doing anything. Found out through pure distilled laziness."
"It's no alternative to learning how to swim! Learn how to swim! There are very few humans who are not able to float, due to body density. Most humans, however can learn it. Try it, it might come in handy one day."
- HKD49
You Need To Eat
Homer Simpson Cooking GIFGiphy"Cook. Even if you hate cooking you love to eat, cooking is an essential life skill. If it’s only one dish you know how to make, that’s still a meal you can prepare yourself."
- Sayurimai
"I totally agree. I know so many people who have no clue how to cook anything despite being perfectly capable of it. People are so scared of it when it's simply following directions"
- Welcome2_TheInternet
"As everything in life, practice makes perfect."
"Most people I know who can’t cook, have never really tried"
- West_Corgi8126
"Even if you hate eating, you still have to eat. Cooking means you can take care of yourself."
- notreallylucy
One Important Word
"How to say No without any hesitation"
- KalkiHill
"I agree, it’s completely okay to say no but some people feel that pressure to say yes"
- SlipnSlide78
"I have such a hard time with this when my only reason is "I don't feel like it." I can't accept that as a legitimate reason to say no so I just do whatever it is."
- asafum
"Go read Miss Manners. No is not only OK, it is polite. You don't need to provide a reason. Internalize that anyone demanding a reason is the rude one, not you."
- Grave_Girl
"I'm not joking when I say that, if you can, practice."
"Small things, big things, f**k it have a mate roleplay any scenario with you and you tell them no."
"I've gotten better at it since I told my mum I struggle to say no and she actually had me practice there and then with her."
- TheftMDom
"it’s okay to say no, because it’s very important to say no. if someone asks you why, they’re not worth it because if you say no they don’t need a reason why."
- SlipnSlide78
Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation
"CPR."
"I dragged my best friend with me when I had to get CPR certification because I wanted to be able to partner up with someone else that I knew. She was reluctant but eventually caved and did it."
"Her learning CPR saved my life. You learning CPR could save someone else's life. Go learn it."
- Jennyferr0412
"I worked at a homeless camp and someone overdosed on heroin. The 911 operator explained to my co-worker who explained to me how to do CPR while another resident of the homeless shelter administered narcan."
"We were extremely lucky that we got through to the 911 operator very quickly, and that he was able to communicate so quickly and effectively how to perform CPR. That 911 operator saved that woman's life, had he not come on the phone so quickly, she would have died. Learn CPR, you absolutely have to learn CPR because you can save someone's life with it."
"We got lucky is what I'm saying. Don't depend on luck, learn CPR. Right now."
- AntelopeElectronic12
"I learned CPR at work and a week later saved my mom's life when she was choking on food. Best 30 minutes at work I've ever spent!"
- No_Relationship1850
"The high school I go to makes us do a CPR lesson every time we get our athletic physical. If you’re getting the physical on campus and not from your PCP, you have to practice CPR with a paramedic before you leave the building, I think it’s great."
- Beautiful_Squash8854
Spot The Scammer
John Lithgow Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Learn how to spot a scam, especially in emails and phone calls."
- ral365
"Definitely a skill worth learning. I've gotten pretty good. But recently my friend's elderly mother got one of those robocalls asking her to enter in her credit card number and she did it. It's a good skill to learn in this day and age."
- Roook36
"I recently ordered something from Home Depot online and now I'm getting fake emails saying I've won a power drill, BBQ, etc. They look like they are originating from Home Depot, but just looking at the actual email address it's sent from shows that it's a scam. One was an address from Perdue university."
"So if someone is trying to give you something for free, be suspicious. And just check the sending address at least."
- could_use_a_snack
"I got a scam email from “Paypal” from a scammer on Facebook Marketplace trying to get an expensive item without paying. They said that Paypal would give me the money after I shipped the item to them and inputed the “shipping verification”. They even sent a fake Paypal email saying the money was pending. The email address was a @gmail instead of @paypal though, so good thing I didn’t fall for that."
- reap3rrrx
Sew
sew sewing machine GIF by US National ArchivesGiphy"For something thats less obvious/most people learn how to do one way or another anyway, I'd say basic sewing."
"Maybe it was just from my experience working at a craft store but a lot of people don't seem know how to do the basic sh*t like, sewing on a button, applying a patch, stopping a frey before it completely unravels, or hemming pants/sleeves. People could keep their clothes much longer or avoid paying a tailor for basic services if they just watched a few youtube vids lol."
- Reddittoxin
"I decided to learn some basic tailoring because i was sick of every shirt being so big in the gut. Its surprisingly easy to just take in the side seam a bit and makes the shirts look so much better"
- deathgaze5
"Came here to post this. Learned it in Home Ec in high school and has helped me soooo many times."
- Ender914
Light Agriculture
"Grow food."
"Even if it's a tomato plant, some green beans in a pot, or some herbs, home grown food tastes better than store bought, and tending to a garden, no matter how small, reduces stress."
- cinch123
"My needy a$ dying plant stresses me the fuck out…"
- Flyingdutchm3n
"To be fair, house and container plants tend to be much more high maintenance than plants you put in the ground. Plants are meant to be in the ground and many food plants are fairly versatile/adaptive in their soil/water needs."
"Once it's in a container though, it's tough to figure out exactly how much water it needs, and there's a finite amount of soil that doesn't replenish itself with nutrients naturally so you have to do that for it (not a bad idea for a garden either, but more nessecary.) And house plants tend to be lower light needing plants which means they'reore likely to need unusual soil types. Drainage is also more important because everything is contained in that small (as compared to the ground) pot."
"The only plant care bonus for potted plants is that yoy can adjust the amount of light they're getting much more easily than plants that are stuck in the ground."
- Wonderful-Custard-47
Basic Maintenance
car repair GIFGiphy"Change a tire and car battery."
- StoneAge00
"Adding on, learning how to check oil as well. It takes two seconds to learn and can literally save your car. A friend of my girlfriend asked me to check her car because 'the lights were blinking inside'. I pulled out the dipstick and a plume of smoke followed it. The car literally gave out that afternoon."
- greenwasp3000
"Agreed. My dad taught me to check oil, top up fluids, jump-start a battery, change a tire before I got my license. It’s come in handy many times"
- purplegoldcat
Let The Emotions Talk
"Develop emotional language and how to use it."
"Usually this is something taught by parents like 'use your words' or 'how did that make you feel'."
"Along with this the ability to ask for what you want."
"I know many adults that have had to work at undoing old hangups about relationships and how their parents raised them. And it's hard when you have to teach yourself."
- Darkwaxellence
"This is a mega important skill in life. It’s vastly underappreciated."
- Dont____Panic
"I am always recommending 'love languages' to people. The whole thing is a bit 'woo' but the concept of expressing love/affections/emotions in different ways is eye opening for a lot of people. The first time I learned about it a lot of my interpersonal relationships suddenly clicked. I'd missed so many opportunities to feel and express love in ways that others understood. Expensive gifts for some = showing how much they love and are willing to sacrifice for you. Keeping your shoes polished is an act of love (because really, who likes polishing shoes), etc."
- Wtrset
"Wow this is amazingly succinct and it's so right!"
- fali12
Survival Skills
"The basics of surviving in the wild in this order:"
"How do you get freshwater"
"How do you get a warm and safe place to sleep"
"How do you get food"
- Fakedduckjump
"3 hrs for shelter, three days for water....three weeks for food."
- anewleaf1234
"Ok, yes, the order of the first two really depends on where you are. You are right, if it's really cold and wet, a shelter and fire absolutely has first priority. If it's hot you don't have 3 days time to get water, especially because getting water takes much time sometimes, when you have to catch vapor from leaves or wet ground for example, you should start that at first and let it run while caring about the rest. I had the latter one in mind, because I once nearby had been died by thirst."
- Fakedduckjump
Alright y'all, apocalypse prep team is a go!
Let's learn some things and be ready.