Shannon McCutcheon/Unsplash

It's likely that most of us won't get to choose our last words, but for a moment let's imagine we all get that chance.

What would you say? What would you even WANT to say?

Do you hit the world with some life-changing final words of wisdom?

Drop an epic pun?

Act as an agent of chaos and confess to burying a non-existent treasure?

Reddit user the-embarrassed-goat asked:

"What do you want your last words to be?"

Spoiler alert—we aren't all the sentimental type.

I went into this expecting to find it full of commenters body-slamming one another in the feels. There is that, but there's so much MORE...

It's The Wink That Does It

" 'I'll see you tomorrow. You won't see me, but I'll see you.' "


- infinity-o_0

"What if they just keep the body around and come by and high five you every day, who gets the last laugh then?"

- Tooshortimus

"The cops."

- Krillin113


A Lot About Balls

"I’m not sure what mine would be, but my grandad had some pretty good last words."

"Before he went into a coma and never woke up he said his last words to my uncle, and those words were:"

“ 'Scratch my balls.' ”

"How do I even compete with such an absolute legend?"

- Steppo14

"Similar. My grandpas last words before coma were 'my balls itch.' "

- Hubey808

"My husband suffered a major stroke and didn't speak much after that."

"His last words were when the nurse was giving him a bedside bath. He said: "

" 'Oh babe! That's cold on my balls!' "

- laitnetsixecrisis


Those E-mails

" 'If only I’d copied & pasted those chain emails…' ”

- BadFishette

"Grandma noooooo!"

- Christmas_Panda

"Holy sh*t!"

"I’m having vivid flashbacks of AOL emails with a bajillion forwards and everybody adds something onto it in different fonts and colors."

- Ignitus1


The Blackest Of Humor

"A friend died from cancer some 15 years ago."

"He had the absolute blackest of humour and when he was in the hospice and getting worse he decided to throw a farewell party."

"When he woke up the next morning he said 'Damn it, now I'm feeling better!' "

"While these were not his actual last words, he did die later that day."

- litli

"I spent the last three days of my best friend's life sitting with him. Someone had to drink the whiskey."

"My best friend served in the Marine Corps with me. We had so many adventures. They weren't always great."

"At one point I told him 'I always thought I'd die first.' "

"He said, 'Well, go ahead!' "

- Leatherneck55


That Awkward Silence

" 'I left the money in the…' "

- OddRumskie

" *continues to be alive for several minutes in awkward silence* "

- ingenredes


A Perfect Joke

" 'You guys wanna see a dead body?' "

- Xellith

"This needs more votes - it broke me."

- thegandork

"Forget what I was going to say before. I want to steal this one."

"It's so good!"

- mingey555


Brotherly Love

"I just wanna let my elder bro know that even though I act mean to him, I love him."

"I know I need to tell him and change our relationship while he is still around. I was kinda embarrassed to tell him if anyone can relate, cuz we've never been clingy to each other."

"So I just bought Hershey's chocolate for him since I know he likes them. He said thanks. It's a start! :) "

- SquareQuestion6


Would You Like To Know?

"I met a customer once who told me about when his mom was about to pass in her hospital bed."

"She kind of stared off into space for a while, looked at her son and said: "

“ 'Mark, would you like to know what it’s like on the other side?' "

"Then she smiled and passed on. That always chilled me in a really sublime, beautiful way."

"I'd like my last words to be something peaceful like that."

- nonchellent

So We Can Talk Later

"I’d want to tell my family to get an ouija board so we can talk here and there."

- xbxnnyx_

"This comment needs to be further up!"

"It would be so fun to mess with people and watch them freak lol!"

- Emotional-Brilliant4


All Dogs

" 'I can see Remi! He‘s waiting for me! Good boy.' ”

"My dog is still alive but I will realistically outlive him. I really hope those are my true last words."

- fatchamy

"This is one of the only things I want an afterlife for. Sure I hope my loved ones are there, but to be able to spend eternity with all my dogs."

"I'd sacrifice learning all the mysteries of the world, to be able to spend it with my dogs. I feel like there's probably not an afterlife, but f*ck I hope so for this reason alone."

- Davadam27


So which angle do you take for your final moment, readers?



Playing for the laugh?

It's your time to shine, fam. The mic is yours.

Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.

If you've never seen the comedy classic, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," there is a scene where Arthur, King of the Britons, encounters a black knight guarding a bridge. Arthur quickly figures out the stalwart knight will not let him pass, so the two do battle, with the king severely injuring his enemy in the process.

He cuts off all his arms and legs.

Yet the black knight persists, insisting his injuries are, "but a scratch."

Turns out this happens to people in real life, not so much with swords and knights, but with can openers and ice skates.

Keep reading... Show less

We are currently in a market that favors workers over employers – many workers feel empowered to seek out different positions and have reevaluated what they want in their careers amid the financial fallout of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Many workers left their jobs in search of greener pastures because they were ready for a change, and others were more than happy to leave behind toxic workplaces that only burned them out.

As you can imagine, they've become rather adept at noticing red flags during the interview process and beyond.

People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor taylortaylortaylorrr asked the online community,

"What is a red flag from an employer that people might not immediately recognize as a red flag?"
Keep reading... Show less
Lorenzo Herrera/Unsplash

Computers are not everyone's strong suit. Generation z is now reaching adulthood, and they've had computers, smart phones, and iPads since birth.

For anyone in an older generation, this wasn't the case. Computers weren't even advertised for the home until the Superbowl of 1984, and even then it was priced at $2,500.

Come the turn of the 21st century, computers are a staple in the home, but the advancements in the last two decades have left some people scrambling to keep up. Things that might seem basic to some are shockingly uncommon to others.

Keep reading... Show less
James Zwadlo/Unsplash

Living close to the Everglades, weird wildlife encounters don't really seem all that "weird" anymore. South Florida is some next-level wilderness.

Keep reading... Show less